#6: The #1 Mistake Companies Make—Planning Products Over People

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All right, we are recording.

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Right on.

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All right.

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One of the biggest

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leadership challenges isn't

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getting things done.

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That's what most people think.

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Yep.

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It's helping other people do things well.

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And too often,

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we as leaders get stuck in a

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frustrating cycle.

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We either hold on too tight

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or we let go too fast.

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Why?

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Because most of us as

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leaders don't have a clear

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framework for what the

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learning process actually looks like.

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And that's where the

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development square comes in.

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It's a simple but powerful

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tool that helps you

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understand how people move from,

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I have no idea what I'm

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doing to I've got this.

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And you,

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how you as a leader need to show

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up differently in each stage.

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We're breaking this tool

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into two episodes.

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In this first episode,

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we're going to unveil the

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four stages every person

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goes through when they're

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developing in any new area.

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How we move from novice to expert,

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immature to mature,

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from infant to adulthood.

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In the next episode,

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we'll unpack those four

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styles of leadership that

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we can practice to partner

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others on their developmental journey.

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So in this episode,

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all about how we develop no

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matter who we are in any

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new area and the next episode,

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how can we partner with

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others to effectively give

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them the best chance of

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growing into a better

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version of themselves?

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I'm Eric Pfeiffer.

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And in this episode,

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I'm joined by Don Neldon.

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If you've ever felt stuck

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between micromanaging and

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letting people flounder,

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this episode is going to

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give you a better way.

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That's right.

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And

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I love to look at this

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initially with babies in mind,

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because it can be really

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difficult to look at

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ourselves and understand

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how we are growing and developing,

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how we learn new things.

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But we can see it very

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clearly when we look at babies.

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And the best example is when

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a kid is learning how to

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walk for the first time.

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get up, they stumble, they bumble,

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but they keep trying.

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And those initial steps are

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wiggly and wobbly,

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but eventually they take

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really more and more

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confidence in their steps.

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And before you know it,

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they're off and running.

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And for whatever reason,

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it's really clear for us when we are,

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for example,

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helping our kids learn how to

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walk or helping our kids

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learn how to tie their shoes.

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And we forget that in our own lives-

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we still have to go through

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a process of learning how

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to do new things.

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I think that this is like,

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with the advent of the internet,

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we just think we should

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know how to do everything, right?

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Like we should be able to

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watch a YouTube and rebuild

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an engine in a car, you know?

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I feel like I see this more

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and more lately where people just

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want to bypass the learning

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stage and go directly to

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expert status in anything.

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And I get it.

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Being in that learning phase

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is uncomfortable and it

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feels really exposed.

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But we will never get to the

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point of I've got this.

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I'm an expert at this thing,

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unless we realize that we

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actually have to go through

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the whole process, the wiggles,

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the wobbles, the stumbles, the bumbles.

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And that's all part of the process.

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Let me just jump in and say this.

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This tool that we're going

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to be unpacking really came

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to life for me years ago.

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My now-twenty-year-old son,

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back then he was about, I don't know,

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ten years old.

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And he had just gotten this

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new video game he was

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really excited about,

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and he wanted me to play with him.

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And so as we jumped into playing the game,

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he was so super excited and super pumped.

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He's unpacking the game and

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he's putting it in and

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we're firing it up and we

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jump into level one and

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there we are going after things.

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And I don't even remember

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what the nature of the game was,

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but he was super excited

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and I was excited with him.

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But very quickly,

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as we were trying to

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together pass this first level,

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we kept failing,

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failing and failing and

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failing and failing and failing.

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Thank God for video games

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that you just have almost

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unlimited lives or you push reset.

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But his frustration grew to the point of,

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At one point,

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he throws his game controller

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on the floor.

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He's crying.

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I hate this game.

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This is so stupid.

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And I remember feeling shocked.

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Like, whoa,

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this is a really strong response.

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But the reason I was intrigued is I'm like,

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you know what?

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His response in this moment

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So good.

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Feeling defeated and

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overwhelmed and like you

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just can't figure it out

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reminded me of how I have

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felt so many times whenever

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I'm trying to learn anything new,

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whether it's typing with my

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fingers on the home keys of

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a computer keyboard or

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whether it was I remember

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learning how to really

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understand finances from

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our family and then from

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the business perspective.

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There's so many areas where I was like,

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I know this feeling,

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what he's going through right now.

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What's interesting is as I

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encouraged him and helped

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him get back into the video game,

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we took a break, got back into it.

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Over time,

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we started to learn how the

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video game works.

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We started to learn some of

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the tricks to the trade,

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and eventually we found

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that we passed level one.

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We're super excited and we celebrate,

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but guess what?

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Then there's level two.

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That's right.

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I'm pretty convinced we

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never reached the end of this game.

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It had an infinite number of levels,

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but that so much reminds me

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of what we experience in life.

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Any area that we in life have conquered,

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have mastered,

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have become experts in

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required this developmental

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learning process.

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And it's the same for us as

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human beings from our

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biological perspective as

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we go from infant to adulthood.

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It's the same

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as we're trying to master

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any new skill or ability,

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is we have to go through

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these stages of growth,

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which requires that we go

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through this season of

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difficulty where we want to give up.

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And we're going to talk more about this,

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but I think it's really

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important because as leaders,

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I think oftentimes the misnomer is, well,

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I've achieved this title or

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this position.

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I should just know how to do everything.

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And I want our listeners to hear this.

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With all of the leaders I

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have ever worked with,

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no matter how high of a level they are,

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whether they're C-suite, owner, operator,

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CEO,

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I don't care if it's a multi-billion

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dollar organization or a small startup,

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the reality is every one of

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these leaders at some point

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in the coaching process confides in me,

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Eric.

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I hate having to admit that

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I don't know how to do something.

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It scares me.

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And when I ask them why,

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they say the same thing every time.

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Because I'm afraid if other

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people see that I don't

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know what I'm doing,

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then they're going to lose

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confidence in me.

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That maybe that will

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disqualify me for my role

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or my responsibility.

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And I have to encourage them

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the same way every time.

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And I want to encourage our

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listeners to understand

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that if as a leader or in

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any area of your life, you're struggling,

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you feel like you're underwater,

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you feel like you're not

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getting something,

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you're not learning something,

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you're not where you want to be.

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that actually you're

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probably right where you should be.

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Because learning is hard.

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And until we can embrace

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that and also accept the

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fact that as leaders,

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we have to be ready to

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model that we're willing to

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be on our own learning journey,

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so that other people have

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permission to be on their

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learning journey.

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And that actually creates

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greater trust and

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confidence in a leader when

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others can say, hey,

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they're willing to say, I don't know.

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They're willing to say,

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I haven't quite figured this out yet.

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They're willing to say,

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I'm still figuring this out.

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As a matter of fact,

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I would say it's almost

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counterintuitive to who we

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are as humans because we

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hate to suck at stuff.

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Yes, we do.

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And therefore, we avoid it like the plague,

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which only robs us of these

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00:07:51,495 --> 00:07:52,995
incredible growth opportunities.

291
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:54,076
Absolutely.

292
00:07:54,117 --> 00:07:55,357
And we have seen time and

293
00:07:55,377 --> 00:07:58,478
time again that the I

294
00:07:58,499 --> 00:08:00,841
should know how to do this by now fear is

295
00:08:01,653 --> 00:08:04,233
is kryptonite to leaders it

296
00:08:04,314 --> 00:08:05,673
that is the sentiment that

297
00:08:05,713 --> 00:08:07,214
is going to keep you stuck

298
00:08:07,595 --> 00:08:08,334
it is going to keep you

299
00:08:08,375 --> 00:08:09,355
afraid and it's going to

300
00:08:09,394 --> 00:08:10,394
keep you from growing and

301
00:08:10,415 --> 00:08:11,755
developing into the person

302
00:08:12,336 --> 00:08:13,576
that you are trying to

303
00:08:13,596 --> 00:08:16,137
become so that's why this

304
00:08:16,197 --> 00:08:17,896
tool is so powerful because

305
00:08:17,916 --> 00:08:20,517
it is going to demystify

306
00:08:20,577 --> 00:08:21,838
this process for our

307
00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:24,858
listeners um eric would you

308
00:08:24,918 --> 00:08:25,899
jump in and just kind of

309
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,259
break down the tool for us

310
00:08:27,906 --> 00:08:28,966
absolutely well first of all

311
00:08:28,987 --> 00:08:31,148
a couple things um I want

312
00:08:31,168 --> 00:08:31,567
to say this at the

313
00:08:31,588 --> 00:08:32,947
beginning that you know we

314
00:08:33,107 --> 00:08:35,089
owe the principles of this

315
00:08:35,149 --> 00:08:37,249
tool to ken blanchard and

316
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:38,769
his work on situational

317
00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:39,950
leadership and so we just

318
00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:40,669
borrowed some of the

319
00:08:40,690 --> 00:08:42,811
principles we've innovated

320
00:08:42,850 --> 00:08:43,630
a little bit like we do

321
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:44,630
with most of our our

322
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,312
leadership tools to make

323
00:08:46,331 --> 00:08:47,692
them more simple accessible

324
00:08:47,871 --> 00:08:50,413
and user friendly for our clients now

325
00:08:52,841 --> 00:08:54,043
the tool is simply in the

326
00:08:54,082 --> 00:08:54,984
shape of a square.

327
00:08:55,443 --> 00:08:56,325
And a square, as we all know,

328
00:08:56,345 --> 00:08:57,166
has four sides,

329
00:08:57,485 --> 00:08:58,407
which helps us understand

330
00:08:58,447 --> 00:08:59,467
right at the start that

331
00:08:59,508 --> 00:09:02,390
there are four stages that

332
00:09:02,451 --> 00:09:03,792
we have to pass through.

333
00:09:04,373 --> 00:09:05,413
There's no, you know,

334
00:09:05,472 --> 00:09:06,875
skip go and collect two hundred bucks.

335
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,316
There's no circumventing any

336
00:09:08,355 --> 00:09:09,817
of these four phases.

337
00:09:10,177 --> 00:09:12,078
These are four requisite

338
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,461
stages that we all have to

339
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,903
go through when we are trying to grow,

340
00:09:15,962 --> 00:09:18,004
develop, learn any new skill, ability,

341
00:09:18,845 --> 00:09:19,684
And there's so many other

342
00:09:20,086 --> 00:09:21,186
benefits that come along with it.

343
00:09:21,586 --> 00:09:23,147
So as we think of a square,

344
00:09:23,767 --> 00:09:25,466
the first stage of any

345
00:09:25,486 --> 00:09:27,408
developmental process is we

346
00:09:27,607 --> 00:09:29,609
are captivated by a vision.

347
00:09:29,629 --> 00:09:30,349
And there's two kinds of

348
00:09:30,389 --> 00:09:31,669
vision that we can be captivated by.

349
00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:33,629
The first is a vision that

350
00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:34,931
springs up from within us.

351
00:09:34,990 --> 00:09:35,931
I remember watching my older

352
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,912
brother ride a bike for the first time.

353
00:09:38,692 --> 00:09:39,292
And I remember thinking,

354
00:09:39,852 --> 00:09:41,072
I can't wait to learn how to ride a bike.

355
00:09:41,092 --> 00:09:42,333
I remember seeing him drive a car,

356
00:09:42,394 --> 00:09:43,554
got his license, thinking,

357
00:09:44,134 --> 00:09:45,916
I want to learn how to drive a car.

358
00:09:45,936 --> 00:09:48,018
So sometimes a vision starts within us.

359
00:09:48,538 --> 00:09:50,599
We catch a picture of a

360
00:09:50,639 --> 00:09:52,259
future that we want for ourselves.

361
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,120
And that motivates us or

362
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,562
inspires us to want to jump

363
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:56,743
into this adventure.

364
00:09:57,462 --> 00:09:58,524
the other way a vision can

365
00:09:58,563 --> 00:09:59,624
come to us is sometimes

366
00:09:59,663 --> 00:10:00,605
from our parents when they

367
00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:01,245
say you're going to learn

368
00:10:01,264 --> 00:10:02,004
how to clean your room

369
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:02,905
you're going to learn how

370
00:10:02,926 --> 00:10:03,686
to set the table you're

371
00:10:03,706 --> 00:10:04,385
going to learn how to take

372
00:10:04,405 --> 00:10:05,807
out the trash right or a

373
00:10:05,826 --> 00:10:06,506
teacher says you're going

374
00:10:06,527 --> 00:10:07,868
to learn some kind of

375
00:10:07,888 --> 00:10:09,269
arithmetic or a boss says

376
00:10:09,288 --> 00:10:09,788
you're going to have to

377
00:10:09,808 --> 00:10:11,649
learn this computer program

378
00:10:11,710 --> 00:10:13,471
any way you look at it

379
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:14,250
vision can start from

380
00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:15,150
within us or come from

381
00:10:15,171 --> 00:10:16,932
without outside of us but

382
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,913
the vision is what gets us

383
00:10:19,072 --> 00:10:20,553
willing to leave kind of

384
00:10:20,573 --> 00:10:22,434
the land of familiarity and comfort

385
00:10:22,975 --> 00:10:23,975
the way things have always been,

386
00:10:24,076 --> 00:10:24,836
and to embark on an

387
00:10:24,855 --> 00:10:27,097
adventure of learning something new.

388
00:10:27,477 --> 00:10:28,818
And so this first stage,

389
00:10:28,938 --> 00:10:31,539
I like to call the honeymoon stage,

390
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,802
which technically we refer to it as D one,

391
00:10:34,841 --> 00:10:35,022
right?

392
00:10:35,162 --> 00:10:37,563
The development phase one, right?

393
00:10:37,583 --> 00:10:38,203
Because we want to make

394
00:10:38,224 --> 00:10:39,585
everything really simple and practical.

395
00:10:40,024 --> 00:10:41,426
So in this first phase,

396
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:42,886
we need to understand it is

397
00:10:43,027 --> 00:10:44,788
marked by the experience

398
00:10:44,807 --> 00:10:47,350
for us as the learner by

399
00:10:47,789 --> 00:10:49,250
unconscious incompetence.

400
00:10:50,347 --> 00:10:50,807
In other words,

401
00:10:51,428 --> 00:10:52,730
we don't know what we don't know.

402
00:10:53,789 --> 00:10:54,390
We're green.

403
00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:55,432
We don't know what we're

404
00:10:55,451 --> 00:10:56,131
getting ourselves into,

405
00:10:56,152 --> 00:10:57,253
but we're excited either

406
00:10:57,293 --> 00:10:58,894
because we're inspired to

407
00:10:58,933 --> 00:10:59,874
learn something or because

408
00:11:00,174 --> 00:11:01,394
we're inspired enough by an

409
00:11:01,434 --> 00:11:02,355
authority figure to say,

410
00:11:02,436 --> 00:11:03,917
I better learn this or else.

411
00:11:04,717 --> 00:11:05,557
And this first phase is

412
00:11:05,697 --> 00:11:07,479
marked by excitement.

413
00:11:07,539 --> 00:11:09,341
And there's a real sense of confidence.

414
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:10,240
I can do this.

415
00:11:10,802 --> 00:11:12,163
What we'll learn later is

416
00:11:12,722 --> 00:11:15,325
it's really a naive confidence.

417
00:11:15,965 --> 00:11:16,164
right?

418
00:11:16,184 --> 00:11:17,145
That I can figure this out.

419
00:11:17,186 --> 00:11:17,846
Not a problem.

420
00:11:17,905 --> 00:11:18,527
I'm smart enough.

421
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:19,006
I'm good enough.

422
00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:19,567
I'm strong enough.

423
00:11:19,587 --> 00:11:20,427
I'm fast enough, whatever.

424
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,808
I'll figure it out.

425
00:11:21,869 --> 00:11:25,432
But eventually that first phase,

426
00:11:25,692 --> 00:11:27,092
because it can't last forever,

427
00:11:27,592 --> 00:11:29,114
runs into what we call the

428
00:11:29,173 --> 00:11:30,634
second phase or D two or

429
00:11:30,654 --> 00:11:31,696
development phase number two.

430
00:11:32,196 --> 00:11:33,017
This is the phase where we

431
00:11:33,076 --> 00:11:34,618
start to really try our

432
00:11:34,677 --> 00:11:36,940
hand at this new skill or

433
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,221
ability or task.

434
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,022
And we quickly find out

435
00:11:41,092 --> 00:11:42,812
I don't know what I don't know.

436
00:11:43,312 --> 00:11:44,614
So the unconscious

437
00:11:44,754 --> 00:11:46,953
incompetence turns into

438
00:11:47,053 --> 00:11:49,333
conscious incompetence.

439
00:11:49,573 --> 00:11:51,615
We run into our deficiencies,

440
00:11:51,634 --> 00:11:54,414
our inadequacies, our inexperience.

441
00:11:55,195 --> 00:11:56,015
The fact that maybe we've

442
00:11:56,056 --> 00:11:57,475
never done this thing before,

443
00:11:57,495 --> 00:11:58,535
and it doesn't matter what it is,

444
00:11:58,576 --> 00:12:00,456
it could be a skill in the workplace,

445
00:12:00,515 --> 00:12:01,355
a new hobby,

446
00:12:01,797 --> 00:12:02,856
a new area you're wanting to

447
00:12:02,876 --> 00:12:03,897
develop in your marriage,

448
00:12:03,917 --> 00:12:05,596
whether it's communication or conflict,

449
00:12:05,876 --> 00:12:07,397
maybe it's budgeting your finances,

450
00:12:07,417 --> 00:12:09,898
whatever the case is, we all know

451
00:12:10,748 --> 00:12:13,048
this experience of feeling

452
00:12:13,087 --> 00:12:15,028
like we're falling into a pit.

453
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:19,149
Or I like to refer to D-II as underwater.

454
00:12:19,308 --> 00:12:20,629
Phase one is honeymoon.

455
00:12:21,570 --> 00:12:23,750
Phase two is underwater.

456
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:24,610
Oh my gosh,

457
00:12:24,649 --> 00:12:26,071
this is so much harder than I thought.

458
00:12:26,211 --> 00:12:27,571
I'm not sure I'm ever gonna get this.

459
00:12:28,091 --> 00:12:30,051
And in this phase,

460
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,491
all human beings experience

461
00:12:32,532 --> 00:12:34,591
kind of four core temptations.

462
00:12:35,251 --> 00:12:36,611
The first one is the obvious one.

463
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:37,273
This is stupid.

464
00:12:37,312 --> 00:12:38,633
I'm not sure why I'm having to learn this.

465
00:12:38,773 --> 00:12:39,432
I wanna quit.

466
00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:42,142
The second one is, you know what,

467
00:12:42,201 --> 00:12:42,802
this is dumb.

468
00:12:42,942 --> 00:12:44,344
I can't believe this isn't working.

469
00:12:44,703 --> 00:12:46,145
And so we start to blame

470
00:12:46,306 --> 00:12:47,267
everyone and everything

471
00:12:47,307 --> 00:12:48,687
around us for why we can't

472
00:12:48,707 --> 00:12:50,809
figure this out.

473
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,692
The third phase is all about

474
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,052
resigning or what we call silent quitting.

475
00:12:57,552 --> 00:12:58,533
This isn't working.

476
00:12:58,692 --> 00:13:00,374
I've tried it so many times and trust me,

477
00:13:00,394 --> 00:13:01,254
anybody who's been married

478
00:13:01,293 --> 00:13:02,414
longer than like a year

479
00:13:02,894 --> 00:13:04,576
knows what silent quitting feels like.

480
00:13:04,676 --> 00:13:05,596
I just don't know how to do this.

481
00:13:05,615 --> 00:13:06,876
I don't know how to resolve an argument.

482
00:13:07,297 --> 00:13:07,996
And so, you know what,

483
00:13:08,017 --> 00:13:09,018
I'm not going to do this anymore.

484
00:13:09,097 --> 00:13:10,097
I'm just going to be quiet

485
00:13:10,518 --> 00:13:13,480
and I'm going to avoid, right?

486
00:13:13,519 --> 00:13:13,740
So,

487
00:13:13,899 --> 00:13:15,120
and then there's a fourth one off the

488
00:13:15,139 --> 00:13:15,620
top of my head.

489
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:16,140
I can't remember.

490
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:17,020
Do you remember what it was?

491
00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:20,022
We normally have four and I

492
00:13:20,042 --> 00:13:20,883
just remembered three.

493
00:13:21,678 --> 00:13:23,080
I was so in it with you.

494
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:23,639
Okay, we did.

495
00:13:23,659 --> 00:13:23,860
I know.

496
00:13:23,940 --> 00:13:24,520
I was in it too.

497
00:13:24,541 --> 00:13:25,221
We'll get back to it.

498
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:25,740
But what is it?

499
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:26,501
So there's quitting.

500
00:13:26,822 --> 00:13:27,282
Quitting.

501
00:13:28,101 --> 00:13:29,903
Oh, thank you.

502
00:13:29,923 --> 00:13:31,724
So there's quitting, blaming.

503
00:13:32,484 --> 00:13:35,326
There's silent quitting or resignation,

504
00:13:35,385 --> 00:13:36,086
as we like to say it.

505
00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,307
And then there's also, you know what?

506
00:13:38,748 --> 00:13:39,967
This relationship isn't working.

507
00:13:40,008 --> 00:13:40,969
This job isn't working.

508
00:13:41,009 --> 00:13:42,009
This hobby isn't working.

509
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:45,030
So I'll trade it in for a new shiny one.

510
00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:46,772
We call it looking for

511
00:13:46,812 --> 00:13:48,351
greener grass or looking

512
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,133
for a new vision.

513
00:13:49,712 --> 00:13:51,072
All four of these are

514
00:13:51,113 --> 00:13:55,453
temptations that will derail a very,

515
00:13:55,514 --> 00:13:56,974
very critical part of our

516
00:13:57,014 --> 00:13:57,995
learning journey because

517
00:13:58,674 --> 00:14:00,095
whenever we're gonna learn something new,

518
00:14:01,075 --> 00:14:02,115
we're gonna have to contend

519
00:14:02,134 --> 00:14:03,115
with the fact that we don't

520
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,015
know how to do it yet,

521
00:14:04,416 --> 00:14:05,655
which means we're not good at it,

522
00:14:06,015 --> 00:14:07,436
which can be very discouraging,

523
00:14:07,696 --> 00:14:08,895
feel very lonely.

524
00:14:09,417 --> 00:14:10,557
It starts to take a toll on

525
00:14:10,596 --> 00:14:12,216
our ego and our fragile

526
00:14:12,356 --> 00:14:13,557
egos and our pride.

527
00:14:14,537 --> 00:14:15,518
Here's what I tell people,

528
00:14:15,597 --> 00:14:16,837
this second phase

529
00:14:17,714 --> 00:14:19,215
if we'll persevere through it,

530
00:14:19,294 --> 00:14:20,876
is actually the phase where

531
00:14:20,937 --> 00:14:23,337
we develop greater character,

532
00:14:24,078 --> 00:14:25,679
where we develop stick-to-itiveness,

533
00:14:25,759 --> 00:14:28,461
perseverance, patience, self-belief,

534
00:14:29,442 --> 00:14:30,224
a renewed sense of

535
00:14:30,264 --> 00:14:32,065
confidence that we can learn new things.

536
00:14:32,645 --> 00:14:33,346
And so I tell people,

537
00:14:33,446 --> 00:14:35,528
don't mistake D-II for

538
00:14:35,927 --> 00:14:37,529
necessarily this is something bad.

539
00:14:37,570 --> 00:14:37,929
Of course,

540
00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:39,130
there are always situations in

541
00:14:39,150 --> 00:14:40,152
which we decide, you know what,

542
00:14:40,192 --> 00:14:41,513
this actually isn't a good fit,

543
00:14:41,533 --> 00:14:42,393
this isn't working.

544
00:14:43,274 --> 00:14:44,354
But far too often,

545
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:45,955
we give way to those

546
00:14:45,995 --> 00:14:48,596
temptations and jump ship

547
00:14:48,676 --> 00:14:49,755
long before we've had the

548
00:14:49,876 --> 00:14:52,518
opportunity to really grow and develop.

549
00:14:52,977 --> 00:14:54,077
And so we not only grow in

550
00:14:54,138 --> 00:14:56,798
our character in DII, but we actually,

551
00:14:56,859 --> 00:14:57,818
during that process,

552
00:14:57,839 --> 00:15:00,080
start to develop new skills.

553
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,780
Now, mind you, we're not experts.

554
00:15:03,522 --> 00:15:05,201
We're barely keeping maybe

555
00:15:05,241 --> 00:15:06,243
our head above water.

556
00:15:06,702 --> 00:15:09,104
But transformation is taking place.

557
00:15:09,124 --> 00:15:10,464
And I often have to tell people,

558
00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:12,304
when you're in a DII phase,

559
00:15:13,336 --> 00:15:14,518
You desperately,

560
00:15:14,618 --> 00:15:16,479
desperately need people

561
00:15:16,538 --> 00:15:17,318
around you who can

562
00:15:17,359 --> 00:15:20,039
encourage you to stay in it.

563
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,780
Because even though it's hard,

564
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,542
it's a good hard.

565
00:15:24,022 --> 00:15:25,123
And all of us have

566
00:15:25,163 --> 00:15:26,003
experiences through our

567
00:15:26,023 --> 00:15:27,144
life where we can look back and say, yeah,

568
00:15:27,224 --> 00:15:28,325
I persevered through the

569
00:15:28,384 --> 00:15:29,684
difficulty of that learning

570
00:15:29,725 --> 00:15:31,686
journey and it paid off.

571
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,143
If we're able to persevere through D-II,

572
00:15:36,462 --> 00:15:37,904
we move into the third

573
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,745
developmental phase, D-III,

574
00:15:40,225 --> 00:15:42,327
which I call the I'm getting it phase,

575
00:15:42,889 --> 00:15:43,149
right?

576
00:15:43,408 --> 00:15:44,690
We're now starting to figure it out,

577
00:15:44,730 --> 00:15:45,990
the new skill, the new ability.

578
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:46,951
We've developed a little bit

579
00:15:46,971 --> 00:15:47,773
more character.

580
00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:49,293
So we're staying in the fight.

581
00:15:49,693 --> 00:15:50,534
And this is the place where

582
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:51,556
we're starting to

583
00:15:51,615 --> 00:15:54,457
experience conscious competence, right?

584
00:15:54,697 --> 00:15:54,878
Now,

585
00:15:54,918 --> 00:15:56,158
here's an interesting thing about D-III.

586
00:15:57,176 --> 00:15:59,017
Because very often we get in D three,

587
00:15:59,857 --> 00:16:00,457
we think, okay,

588
00:16:00,477 --> 00:16:01,479
the learning journey is over.

589
00:16:01,619 --> 00:16:02,299
It's not over.

590
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:03,801
It's a really important part

591
00:16:03,841 --> 00:16:05,302
of the process because it's

592
00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:06,863
in D three that we begin to

593
00:16:06,903 --> 00:16:08,323
develop a sense of initiative,

594
00:16:08,964 --> 00:16:10,245
personal responsibility.

595
00:16:10,284 --> 00:16:11,405
We start saying, hey, you know what?

596
00:16:11,566 --> 00:16:12,186
I can do this.

597
00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:14,408
I can own this, which is really,

598
00:16:14,447 --> 00:16:14,967
really important.

599
00:16:15,288 --> 00:16:17,490
We have a growing sense of confidence.

600
00:16:18,049 --> 00:16:19,730
But in D three, if we're not careful,

601
00:16:20,711 --> 00:16:21,793
if we don't continue to

602
00:16:21,852 --> 00:16:23,453
practice what we've been learning,

603
00:16:23,994 --> 00:16:25,274
then oftentimes what I find

604
00:16:25,355 --> 00:16:27,035
is people start to stall out.

605
00:16:27,515 --> 00:16:28,716
And so we need to continue

606
00:16:28,756 --> 00:16:29,956
through this third phase

607
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:32,038
until we eventually reach D

608
00:16:32,099 --> 00:16:33,739
four or development phase four,

609
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,279
which is marked by

610
00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:36,980
unconscious competence.

611
00:16:37,061 --> 00:16:38,782
Now we have developed this

612
00:16:38,822 --> 00:16:39,923
skill to the point where we

613
00:16:39,942 --> 00:16:40,864
feel like we can do it like

614
00:16:40,903 --> 00:16:41,604
the back of our hand.

615
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:43,345
I tell people great examples.

616
00:16:43,825 --> 00:16:44,245
Most of us,

617
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,426
when we get in the car and drive to work,

618
00:16:45,446 --> 00:16:45,966
we're not thinking about

619
00:16:45,985 --> 00:16:46,586
how to turn the car on.

620
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:47,706
We're not thinking about how to drive.

621
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:48,648
We're not even thinking

622
00:16:48,687 --> 00:16:50,308
about how to get to work unless you're,

623
00:16:50,469 --> 00:16:51,450
by traffic area.

624
00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:53,312
We just know how to do it.

625
00:16:53,692 --> 00:16:54,753
And this is where our

626
00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:56,595
learning has moved from the

627
00:16:56,695 --> 00:16:57,956
front of our brain into the

628
00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:58,616
back of our brain,

629
00:16:58,636 --> 00:17:00,019
into the long-term memory.

630
00:17:00,379 --> 00:17:01,179
And the beautiful thing

631
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,701
about anything we learn to

632
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:04,163
the fourth phase of

633
00:17:04,222 --> 00:17:05,924
development becomes

634
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:08,207
something that we can tap into

635
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,342
at any point in our life or

636
00:17:10,422 --> 00:17:11,221
into the future,

637
00:17:11,582 --> 00:17:13,383
not only for our benefits,

638
00:17:13,962 --> 00:17:15,762
but now we have something

639
00:17:15,803 --> 00:17:17,763
to share with others.

640
00:17:18,324 --> 00:17:19,743
And so I constantly remind

641
00:17:19,784 --> 00:17:21,284
leaders the importance of

642
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,183
being on our own

643
00:17:22,203 --> 00:17:24,244
developmental journey is so

644
00:17:24,285 --> 00:17:27,164
that we constantly have new wisdom,

645
00:17:27,384 --> 00:17:28,125
experience,

646
00:17:28,185 --> 00:17:30,445
and insights to share with

647
00:17:30,546 --> 00:17:33,527
others around us.

648
00:17:33,626 --> 00:17:35,467
Yeah, that's so good.

649
00:17:36,499 --> 00:17:38,460
there are in fact really

650
00:17:38,519 --> 00:17:40,099
important things that we

651
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:41,480
need to learn and take away

652
00:17:41,941 --> 00:17:45,061
from each phase that to the

653
00:17:45,102 --> 00:17:47,042
point where if we try to skip one phase,

654
00:17:47,143 --> 00:17:48,723
we're never going to reach

655
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:51,125
that unconscious competence

656
00:17:51,144 --> 00:17:52,085
where we are just,

657
00:17:53,326 --> 00:17:54,526
what we also call like that

658
00:17:54,625 --> 00:17:55,946
flow state where you are

659
00:17:56,446 --> 00:17:57,928
operating at your best,

660
00:17:58,127 --> 00:18:00,148
you can do it in a minimal

661
00:18:00,189 --> 00:18:00,848
amount of time.

662
00:18:02,028 --> 00:18:04,569
One thing I wanna bring to

663
00:18:04,730 --> 00:18:06,010
our listeners attention here though,

664
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,314
is that when we're learning

665
00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:10,034
the development square,

666
00:18:10,074 --> 00:18:12,315
we can sometimes think that

667
00:18:14,536 --> 00:18:17,537
this is how a person develops as a whole,

668
00:18:17,777 --> 00:18:17,997
right?

669
00:18:18,017 --> 00:18:19,458
So I am on a developmental

670
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:21,999
journey and one time I am

671
00:18:22,038 --> 00:18:23,858
going to go through the four stages,

672
00:18:23,919 --> 00:18:25,299
but the reality is

673
00:18:25,887 --> 00:18:27,989
For us and for anybody else in our lives,

674
00:18:28,529 --> 00:18:30,191
each new thing that we are

675
00:18:30,230 --> 00:18:32,271
learning is a new square.

676
00:18:32,852 --> 00:18:34,313
So we like to talk about big

677
00:18:34,353 --> 00:18:35,913
squares and little squares even.

678
00:18:36,294 --> 00:18:39,836
If you think of, like, for example,

679
00:18:40,076 --> 00:18:41,596
I always think this really

680
00:18:41,636 --> 00:18:44,298
clearly is illustrated

681
00:18:44,318 --> 00:18:46,019
about when I was trying to learn Spanish.

682
00:18:47,236 --> 00:18:50,037
And I had to go through the

683
00:18:50,116 --> 00:18:52,938
initial square just on the

684
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:54,598
concept of learning Spanish.

685
00:18:54,739 --> 00:18:56,480
But each time I had to learn

686
00:18:56,579 --> 00:18:59,681
a new verb tense or a new

687
00:19:01,121 --> 00:19:03,162
colloquial dialect,

688
00:19:03,201 --> 00:19:04,282
like you're going through

689
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,844
another process of the square.

690
00:19:07,584 --> 00:19:10,605
And so as you are looking at

691
00:19:10,785 --> 00:19:12,046
even this concept of

692
00:19:12,226 --> 00:19:14,787
learning about how to learn how to teach

693
00:19:15,247 --> 00:19:17,548
things you are going to go

694
00:19:17,568 --> 00:19:18,230
through the development

695
00:19:18,269 --> 00:19:21,853
square um and we can fall

696
00:19:21,893 --> 00:19:22,752
into the trap of thinking

697
00:19:22,792 --> 00:19:23,913
well I did that once I

698
00:19:23,953 --> 00:19:25,115
learned how to do something

699
00:19:25,276 --> 00:19:26,797
why you know I'm good to go

700
00:19:29,058 --> 00:19:31,300
each new thing is going to

701
00:19:31,340 --> 00:19:32,402
be a square and some

702
00:19:32,442 --> 00:19:34,022
squares are big squares are

703
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,104
going to take us months or

704
00:19:35,144 --> 00:19:36,765
years like learning spanish

705
00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:38,906
some squares are small and

706
00:19:38,946 --> 00:19:40,749
are going to take us a day a week

707
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:42,714
You know.

708
00:19:42,734 --> 00:19:43,276
Yeah.

709
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:43,415
Well,

710
00:19:43,576 --> 00:19:45,218
what you're what you're illustrating

711
00:19:45,238 --> 00:19:47,059
for us is what I like to

712
00:19:47,099 --> 00:19:48,240
call the difference between

713
00:19:48,641 --> 00:19:50,583
the macro versus the micro

714
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,025
journeys or macro versus

715
00:19:52,085 --> 00:19:54,047
micro squares in that.

716
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,167
Let me give an example.

717
00:19:55,188 --> 00:19:55,367
Right.

718
00:19:55,387 --> 00:19:56,108
Because obviously one of

719
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:56,930
things we always want to do

720
00:19:56,990 --> 00:19:58,711
is is provide some examples

721
00:19:58,730 --> 00:19:59,412
of what does this actually

722
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:00,573
look like in real time?

723
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:02,896
And in this episode,

724
00:20:02,957 --> 00:20:04,160
I want to talk about my own journey.

725
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,384
So I had been a part for

726
00:20:07,244 --> 00:20:09,630
over a decade of helping

727
00:20:09,690 --> 00:20:11,854
another person build a coaching company.

728
00:20:12,904 --> 00:20:14,885
And I had my own, you know,

729
00:20:14,905 --> 00:20:16,586
developmental process, you know,

730
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:17,788
as I was learning how to

731
00:20:17,847 --> 00:20:19,328
coach and the toolkit that

732
00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:20,308
we were utilizing at that

733
00:20:20,348 --> 00:20:22,569
time and how to train other coaches.

734
00:20:22,630 --> 00:20:24,270
And so I had my own kind of

735
00:20:24,351 --> 00:20:25,912
macro squares in terms of, you know,

736
00:20:25,951 --> 00:20:26,551
macro squares,

737
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:27,972
like how do I coach other

738
00:20:28,012 --> 00:20:28,854
leaders effectively?

739
00:20:29,253 --> 00:20:30,494
But then there were all the micro squares.

740
00:20:30,515 --> 00:20:31,795
I had to learn each tool and

741
00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:32,935
the application of each

742
00:20:32,996 --> 00:20:34,977
tool and the nuance of when

743
00:20:35,017 --> 00:20:36,557
I'm in a coaching call, how to engage,

744
00:20:36,577 --> 00:20:37,538
how to ask good questions.

745
00:20:37,557 --> 00:20:38,858
These were all micro squares.

746
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:40,079
Well, in the same way,

747
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:41,980
when I started Empower Coaching,

748
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,902
I had never started a company before.

749
00:20:45,442 --> 00:20:46,462
And so it was my first kind

750
00:20:46,502 --> 00:20:49,564
of real for a into entrepreneurial work.

751
00:20:50,144 --> 00:20:51,003
And so just the,

752
00:20:51,163 --> 00:20:52,305
just let's start from the beginning,

753
00:20:52,325 --> 00:20:54,184
like where we're at today

754
00:20:54,204 --> 00:20:55,746
in the building of this coaching company,

755
00:20:55,925 --> 00:20:58,126
I'd say we're probably, you know,

756
00:20:58,666 --> 00:20:59,928
in some areas we're like in

757
00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:01,548
the D two or we're feeling

758
00:21:01,708 --> 00:21:02,909
overwhelmed and frustrated.

759
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:03,969
And as we're creating

760
00:21:04,028 --> 00:21:05,950
content and our content platform and,

761
00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:08,330
trying to release new resources.

762
00:21:08,371 --> 00:21:10,372
And who do we hire to do the video work?

763
00:21:10,412 --> 00:21:11,271
And how do we make sure that

764
00:21:11,352 --> 00:21:12,352
marketing is working right?

765
00:21:14,512 --> 00:21:15,574
There's a lot of areas where

766
00:21:15,594 --> 00:21:16,114
we're in D two.

767
00:21:16,134 --> 00:21:17,233
There's a lot of areas where

768
00:21:17,273 --> 00:21:18,095
we're in D three,

769
00:21:18,115 --> 00:21:18,734
where we feel like we've

770
00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:19,555
got a handle on it.

771
00:21:19,575 --> 00:21:20,355
We know our platform,

772
00:21:20,375 --> 00:21:22,115
we know our coaching framework,

773
00:21:22,156 --> 00:21:23,376
we know how to coach well.

774
00:21:23,936 --> 00:21:25,178
And so in some ways from a

775
00:21:25,298 --> 00:21:27,058
macro perspective, our companies,

776
00:21:27,239 --> 00:21:29,440
you know, somehow in D sometimes in D two,

777
00:21:29,460 --> 00:21:31,339
sometimes D three macro,

778
00:21:31,660 --> 00:21:33,820
but micro from micro squares,

779
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:34,761
I had to learn like,

780
00:21:35,654 --> 00:21:36,875
how do you start a business?

781
00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:38,375
How do you file the paperwork?

782
00:21:39,455 --> 00:21:41,615
You know, how do you finance this?

783
00:21:42,496 --> 00:21:43,676
How do you forecast and

784
00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:44,916
budget for the future?

785
00:21:45,356 --> 00:21:46,537
How do you, you know,

786
00:21:46,557 --> 00:21:47,636
what do you do about taxes

787
00:21:47,676 --> 00:21:48,498
at the end of the year?

788
00:21:48,538 --> 00:21:49,897
What can you and can you not

789
00:21:49,978 --> 00:21:51,417
spend your company money on?

790
00:21:51,458 --> 00:21:53,077
Like there's so many small

791
00:21:53,719 --> 00:21:55,058
areas that I've had to grow

792
00:21:55,098 --> 00:21:56,459
and develop in as a leader,

793
00:21:56,858 --> 00:21:57,759
whether it's building a

794
00:21:57,818 --> 00:21:59,920
team or how to hire and fire people or,

795
00:22:00,299 --> 00:22:00,559
you know,

796
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:02,681
How to how to find new clients,

797
00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:04,481
how to create your client pipeline.

798
00:22:05,521 --> 00:22:05,741
You know,

799
00:22:05,781 --> 00:22:08,083
how do we record videos on social media?

800
00:22:08,584 --> 00:22:08,844
You know,

801
00:22:09,023 --> 00:22:10,463
nobody just wakes up one day and

802
00:22:10,503 --> 00:22:12,204
knows how to do anything.

803
00:22:12,945 --> 00:22:14,886
And so even in my journey as

804
00:22:14,906 --> 00:22:16,386
a as an entrepreneur leader

805
00:22:16,426 --> 00:22:18,647
starting a coaching company, you know,

806
00:22:19,148 --> 00:22:21,710
I can say that there's this macro square.

807
00:22:22,625 --> 00:22:23,645
that our company's always

808
00:22:23,685 --> 00:22:24,726
evolving and growing on

809
00:22:24,746 --> 00:22:26,587
from a large picture perspective.

810
00:22:27,107 --> 00:22:28,088
But then there are always

811
00:22:28,128 --> 00:22:29,269
gonna be these smaller

812
00:22:29,430 --> 00:22:31,810
areas that as we step into

813
00:22:32,031 --> 00:22:33,913
new areas of growth development,

814
00:22:33,992 --> 00:22:35,554
as we're trying to take new territory,

815
00:22:36,034 --> 00:22:37,775
as we're trying to develop new products,

816
00:22:37,815 --> 00:22:39,436
as we're trying to build our team out,

817
00:22:40,196 --> 00:22:42,638
it's constantly learning new things,

818
00:22:42,919 --> 00:22:43,819
which quite frankly,

819
00:22:44,460 --> 00:22:46,099
can become really fatiguing

820
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:49,401
yes which is why for myself

821
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:51,422
and for our listeners we've

822
00:22:51,461 --> 00:22:53,342
got to learn to celebrate

823
00:22:54,202 --> 00:22:55,262
the squares that we've

824
00:22:55,363 --> 00:22:56,442
already been around where

825
00:22:56,462 --> 00:22:57,803
we've reached d three and d

826
00:22:57,863 --> 00:22:59,983
four because that's

827
00:23:00,203 --> 00:23:02,704
oftentimes what fuels us to

828
00:23:02,724 --> 00:23:04,285
be willing to embark in new

829
00:23:04,345 --> 00:23:08,105
learning adventures yeah

830
00:23:08,125 --> 00:23:11,366
that that is so good it the the process

831
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,636
on some levels is constant and,

832
00:23:15,086 --> 00:23:17,146
to that degree can feel very fatiguing.

833
00:23:17,606 --> 00:23:19,567
But on the other hand,

834
00:23:19,607 --> 00:23:20,928
it can be really liberating

835
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:22,328
to know that there's never

836
00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:24,169
a moment that you arrive and you're like,

837
00:23:24,388 --> 00:23:26,849
I have learned, I have got it.

838
00:23:27,290 --> 00:23:28,111
I've learned everything I need to learn.

839
00:23:28,131 --> 00:23:30,251
I've learned everything I need to learn,

840
00:23:30,751 --> 00:23:33,653
which in some ways frees us

841
00:23:33,833 --> 00:23:35,513
up to be learners,

842
00:23:35,854 --> 00:23:38,375
to not be experts in certain areas.

843
00:23:38,974 --> 00:23:41,615
And to ask for help or to

844
00:23:42,016 --> 00:23:43,237
just recognize where we are

845
00:23:43,317 --> 00:23:44,136
on our own journey

846
00:23:45,199 --> 00:23:46,861
macro and micro.

847
00:23:46,901 --> 00:23:49,064
I think that's so, so helpful.

848
00:23:49,625 --> 00:23:49,744
Yeah.

849
00:23:49,825 --> 00:23:51,847
I would, I would say that, you know,

850
00:23:51,948 --> 00:23:52,750
if this tool,

851
00:23:53,289 --> 00:23:54,291
there's so much more than we

852
00:23:54,311 --> 00:23:56,193
can unpack in this, in this one episode,

853
00:23:56,234 --> 00:24:00,019
but if this tool can

854
00:24:00,059 --> 00:24:01,301
encourage our listeners to,

855
00:24:03,922 --> 00:24:05,482
by giving us permission,

856
00:24:05,563 --> 00:24:06,423
because so often we don't

857
00:24:06,443 --> 00:24:07,924
know how to give ourselves permission.

858
00:24:07,964 --> 00:24:09,345
So one of the things this

859
00:24:09,365 --> 00:24:10,506
tool does is it gives us

860
00:24:10,605 --> 00:24:12,386
permission to do two things.

861
00:24:12,988 --> 00:24:14,067
One that you've already mentioned,

862
00:24:14,087 --> 00:24:14,628
I'll come back to it.

863
00:24:14,669 --> 00:24:15,910
But the first one I want to

864
00:24:15,950 --> 00:24:19,432
say is it gives us permission to stumble,

865
00:24:19,451 --> 00:24:19,771
fumble,

866
00:24:19,832 --> 00:24:22,153
bumble our way into growth because

867
00:24:22,193 --> 00:24:22,693
it's necessary.

868
00:24:22,713 --> 00:24:23,493
Like we need to give

869
00:24:23,513 --> 00:24:25,174
ourselves permission to be in the pit,

870
00:24:26,016 --> 00:24:27,217
to feel like we're underwater,

871
00:24:27,277 --> 00:24:28,718
to feel like we're really struggling,

872
00:24:28,758 --> 00:24:30,078
to feel like we need help.

873
00:24:31,007 --> 00:24:32,633
That's okay because it's a

874
00:24:32,712 --> 00:24:33,675
necessary part of the

875
00:24:33,715 --> 00:24:34,659
journey and too often we

876
00:24:34,699 --> 00:24:37,268
mistake the difficulties that it's bad.

877
00:24:38,196 --> 00:24:38,416
Right.

878
00:24:38,537 --> 00:24:38,717
I mean,

879
00:24:38,757 --> 00:24:39,916
when I'm in the gym and I'm on the

880
00:24:39,936 --> 00:24:41,157
treadmill and I've walked, you know,

881
00:24:41,178 --> 00:24:42,117
however many miles on the

882
00:24:42,137 --> 00:24:43,458
treadmill that day and my

883
00:24:43,498 --> 00:24:44,999
body's fatiguing, I feel tired.

884
00:24:45,058 --> 00:24:46,259
Often I'm like, this is bad.

885
00:24:46,578 --> 00:24:47,159
This hurts.

886
00:24:47,179 --> 00:24:48,119
This is uncomfortable.

887
00:24:48,140 --> 00:24:49,460
This is disorientating.

888
00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:51,519
But a good trainer will step up and say,

889
00:24:51,539 --> 00:24:52,060
hey, listen,

890
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,540
this is a good bad or a good hard.

891
00:24:55,580 --> 00:24:55,921
I'm sorry.

892
00:24:55,981 --> 00:24:56,662
A good hard.

893
00:24:57,201 --> 00:24:58,701
Because sometimes we have to

894
00:24:58,721 --> 00:25:00,442
remember that hard actually

895
00:25:00,462 --> 00:25:01,323
means we're growing.

896
00:25:01,982 --> 00:25:02,702
Discomfort,

897
00:25:02,722 --> 00:25:04,104
disorientation actually means

898
00:25:04,124 --> 00:25:05,804
we're probably in a process

899
00:25:06,105 --> 00:25:07,365
of moving toward growth and

900
00:25:07,444 --> 00:25:08,444
reorientation.

901
00:25:09,046 --> 00:25:10,726
But we don't grow without

902
00:25:10,766 --> 00:25:11,906
going through that second phase.

903
00:25:11,946 --> 00:25:13,047
And this tool gives us

904
00:25:13,106 --> 00:25:15,948
permission to go through it

905
00:25:16,028 --> 00:25:17,489
rather than to think, well, it's hard.

906
00:25:17,568 --> 00:25:18,028
It's bad.

907
00:25:18,088 --> 00:25:18,848
I need to get out of it as

908
00:25:18,888 --> 00:25:19,789
quickly as possible.

909
00:25:20,470 --> 00:25:21,549
The second thing this tool

910
00:25:21,569 --> 00:25:22,431
gives us permission

911
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:26,897
to do is I think to regain

912
00:25:26,938 --> 00:25:29,878
perspective on the value

913
00:25:29,999 --> 00:25:31,480
and importance that we as

914
00:25:31,559 --> 00:25:33,800
leaders have to model,

915
00:25:33,861 --> 00:25:35,761
have to embody this

916
00:25:35,842 --> 00:25:36,942
willingness to be on a

917
00:25:37,001 --> 00:25:39,042
continual developmental journey.

918
00:25:40,503 --> 00:25:42,484
I never forget getting to a certain age,

919
00:25:42,505 --> 00:25:44,425
my early twenties and realizing,

920
00:25:44,445 --> 00:25:44,766
you know what?

921
00:25:44,786 --> 00:25:46,207
My parents don't know everything.

922
00:25:47,339 --> 00:25:48,601
They haven't figured it all out.

923
00:25:48,820 --> 00:25:49,740
They're not perfect.

924
00:25:49,942 --> 00:25:50,961
They have a lot of areas

925
00:25:50,981 --> 00:25:51,602
they need to grow into.

926
00:25:51,801 --> 00:25:52,762
But as a little child,

927
00:25:52,782 --> 00:25:53,923
you think your parents know everything.

928
00:25:53,942 --> 00:25:54,483
You think they were just

929
00:25:54,503 --> 00:25:55,564
kind of born that way.

930
00:25:55,624 --> 00:25:56,664
They have the playbook on

931
00:25:56,724 --> 00:25:57,505
everything parenting.

932
00:25:57,904 --> 00:25:59,546
And then you realize, no, actually,

933
00:26:00,247 --> 00:26:01,426
they're still growing.

934
00:26:01,446 --> 00:26:02,627
They're still developing.

935
00:26:03,188 --> 00:26:04,269
And that was radically

936
00:26:04,348 --> 00:26:05,528
liberating for me because

937
00:26:06,048 --> 00:26:06,970
once I was able to give my

938
00:26:07,049 --> 00:26:08,150
parents permission to

939
00:26:08,190 --> 00:26:09,411
continue growing and developing,

940
00:26:10,111 --> 00:26:11,231
that in some way reminded me,

941
00:26:11,392 --> 00:26:12,992
I need to give myself permission.

942
00:26:13,553 --> 00:26:14,433
to continue growing.

943
00:26:15,255 --> 00:26:16,496
They've grown in a lot of areas,

944
00:26:16,516 --> 00:26:17,376
but there's always going to

945
00:26:17,396 --> 00:26:19,858
be new ways that they have to develop,

946
00:26:19,898 --> 00:26:21,019
whether it's parenting

947
00:26:21,039 --> 00:26:22,621
teenagers versus parenting adults,

948
00:26:23,102 --> 00:26:24,123
or the way my parents have

949
00:26:24,163 --> 00:26:25,784
interacted with our spouses

950
00:26:25,824 --> 00:26:28,266
and their grandkids, right?

951
00:26:28,306 --> 00:26:29,426
Like they're constantly

952
00:26:29,487 --> 00:26:30,208
learning and growing.

953
00:26:30,468 --> 00:26:31,348
And I think as leaders,

954
00:26:31,469 --> 00:26:33,550
when we fight to embody

955
00:26:33,631 --> 00:26:35,192
this core value that we're

956
00:26:35,252 --> 00:26:36,073
constantly learning,

957
00:26:36,493 --> 00:26:37,233
I think it just gives

958
00:26:37,275 --> 00:26:38,736
permission to everybody around us.

959
00:26:39,076 --> 00:26:40,477
So, so good.

960
00:26:40,637 --> 00:26:40,877
Yeah,

961
00:26:41,057 --> 00:26:43,779
I have very similar experiences where

962
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,662
I first learned that, oh,

963
00:26:45,701 --> 00:26:46,542
just because you're older

964
00:26:46,563 --> 00:26:47,723
doesn't mean you know how

965
00:26:47,763 --> 00:26:48,484
to do everything.

966
00:26:48,785 --> 00:26:53,108
Oh, at once, liberating and frustrating.

967
00:26:53,148 --> 00:26:54,730
Yeah, a hundred percent,

968
00:26:54,810 --> 00:26:55,652
a hundred percent.

969
00:26:56,335 --> 00:26:56,535
All right.

970
00:26:56,996 --> 00:26:58,698
Well, as we close out this episode,

971
00:26:58,778 --> 00:26:59,557
a couple of things I want

972
00:26:59,577 --> 00:27:00,519
to make sure that our

973
00:27:00,558 --> 00:27:02,361
listeners are subscribed

974
00:27:02,421 --> 00:27:05,304
because the next- Hold on, Dawn.

975
00:27:05,324 --> 00:27:06,546
We need to give them some

976
00:27:06,605 --> 00:27:07,866
simple practical action

977
00:27:07,906 --> 00:27:09,669
steps that they can take to

978
00:27:09,749 --> 00:27:10,269
apply immediately.

979
00:27:10,288 --> 00:27:10,890
You're so right.

980
00:27:10,910 --> 00:27:11,329
I am so sorry.

981
00:27:13,051 --> 00:27:13,833
I'm so sorry.

982
00:27:13,932 --> 00:27:14,554
You are right.

983
00:27:14,794 --> 00:27:15,714
You were so excited about

984
00:27:15,734 --> 00:27:17,336
getting more subscribers.

985
00:27:17,396 --> 00:27:18,218
We forgot we need to give

986
00:27:18,238 --> 00:27:19,358
them some practical goodies.

987
00:27:19,878 --> 00:27:20,240
You are right.

988
00:27:20,259 --> 00:27:20,539
All right.

989
00:27:20,819 --> 00:27:22,281
So just a couple of

990
00:27:22,301 --> 00:27:23,423
practical things for our listeners.

991
00:27:23,462 --> 00:27:24,324
If you want to immediately

992
00:27:24,344 --> 00:27:26,767
put this into use is the

993
00:27:26,826 --> 00:27:28,028
first thing we can do is

994
00:27:28,087 --> 00:27:30,009
simply reflect on where in

995
00:27:30,190 --> 00:27:31,612
our life currently we

996
00:27:32,551 --> 00:27:35,133
Do we find ourselves in a D-I phase,

997
00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:36,073
in that honeymoon phase?

998
00:27:36,093 --> 00:27:37,094
Something's new, exciting.

999
00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:38,114
Maybe it's a new relationship.

1000
00:27:38,153 --> 00:27:38,953
Maybe it's a new job.

1001
00:27:38,993 --> 00:27:40,474
Maybe it's a new stage of

1002
00:27:40,494 --> 00:27:42,035
your child's growth and development.

1003
00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:43,715
And maybe it's a new hobby.

1004
00:27:44,175 --> 00:27:45,175
Maybe whatever it is,

1005
00:27:45,215 --> 00:27:47,656
a new economic season of

1006
00:27:47,737 --> 00:27:49,477
life where you're flourishing, right?

1007
00:27:49,497 --> 00:27:51,377
So we love being in that D-I

1008
00:27:51,417 --> 00:27:52,597
phase because it's inspiring.

1009
00:27:52,617 --> 00:27:53,058
It's moving.

1010
00:27:53,378 --> 00:27:54,118
It's new vision.

1011
00:27:54,659 --> 00:27:55,278
which is awesome.

1012
00:27:55,298 --> 00:27:56,059
But we also have to

1013
00:27:56,079 --> 00:27:57,080
recognize where in our life

1014
00:27:57,141 --> 00:27:58,582
are we currently in a D two

1015
00:27:58,622 --> 00:28:00,363
phase where we feel, man,

1016
00:28:00,502 --> 00:28:01,423
we're underwater.

1017
00:28:01,483 --> 00:28:02,483
We feel like we're, we're,

1018
00:28:02,523 --> 00:28:03,484
we might be drowning.

1019
00:28:03,525 --> 00:28:04,526
We're overwhelmed.

1020
00:28:04,566 --> 00:28:05,326
We want to give up.

1021
00:28:05,365 --> 00:28:06,186
We want to quit.

1022
00:28:06,626 --> 00:28:07,407
We feel like we're blaming

1023
00:28:07,448 --> 00:28:08,087
everybody around us.

1024
00:28:08,147 --> 00:28:10,509
Maybe, maybe that's in your job role.

1025
00:28:10,549 --> 00:28:11,891
Maybe you're struggling with

1026
00:28:11,911 --> 00:28:12,931
your relationship with your

1027
00:28:12,971 --> 00:28:14,211
boss or some coworkers,

1028
00:28:14,231 --> 00:28:14,913
or maybe you feel like

1029
00:28:14,932 --> 00:28:15,752
you've just entered into a

1030
00:28:15,813 --> 00:28:16,453
sales position.

1031
00:28:16,493 --> 00:28:17,713
You're not, you're just not,

1032
00:28:17,875 --> 00:28:19,816
not making many sales or

1033
00:28:19,855 --> 00:28:20,816
whether that's maybe you,

1034
00:28:20,977 --> 00:28:21,876
you've started a company

1035
00:28:21,896 --> 00:28:23,018
and you're freaking out feeling like,

1036
00:28:23,038 --> 00:28:24,439
I don't even have a clue what I'm doing.

1037
00:28:25,599 --> 00:28:27,059
We need to identify where do

1038
00:28:27,181 --> 00:28:29,961
we resonate with that D two

1039
00:28:29,981 --> 00:28:31,103
experience in our life currently.

1040
00:28:31,542 --> 00:28:32,483
Also the third phase,

1041
00:28:32,523 --> 00:28:33,624
like where are we in D three?

1042
00:28:33,644 --> 00:28:34,724
Where do we feel like, you know what?

1043
00:28:35,224 --> 00:28:36,286
I've come through the storm.

1044
00:28:36,326 --> 00:28:36,987
I've come through the most

1045
00:28:37,027 --> 00:28:38,287
difficult part of this learning journey.

1046
00:28:38,326 --> 00:28:39,067
I feel like I'm starting to

1047
00:28:39,087 --> 00:28:39,907
wrap my head around this.

1048
00:28:39,928 --> 00:28:41,229
I'm not a expert.

1049
00:28:41,288 --> 00:28:42,210
I still have to think a lot

1050
00:28:42,250 --> 00:28:43,009
about what I'm doing,

1051
00:28:43,631 --> 00:28:45,090
but I feel like I'm in D three.

1052
00:28:45,332 --> 00:28:46,511
And then where am I in D four?

1053
00:28:46,612 --> 00:28:49,453
And as we identify where in

1054
00:28:49,513 --> 00:28:50,555
our life currently,

1055
00:28:51,134 --> 00:28:52,195
we're experiencing

1056
00:28:52,256 --> 00:28:53,237
potentially each of these

1057
00:28:53,277 --> 00:28:54,538
four developmental phases.

1058
00:28:54,938 --> 00:28:55,837
That's the beginning of

1059
00:28:55,939 --> 00:28:57,579
self-awareness and

1060
00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:58,519
self-awareness is so

1061
00:28:58,559 --> 00:28:59,361
important because if we

1062
00:28:59,401 --> 00:29:00,422
don't know where we are,

1063
00:29:01,461 --> 00:29:03,884
then we can't do this second part of this,

1064
00:29:04,545 --> 00:29:06,026
uh, this practical application,

1065
00:29:06,046 --> 00:29:08,106
which is this to give

1066
00:29:08,146 --> 00:29:10,969
yourself permission to be in that phase,

1067
00:29:12,190 --> 00:29:12,410
right?

1068
00:29:12,430 --> 00:29:13,691
Too often we're in D two

1069
00:29:13,711 --> 00:29:14,711
wishing we were in D four.

1070
00:29:16,213 --> 00:29:17,714
Or we're in D two wishing we

1071
00:29:17,736 --> 00:29:18,695
can go back to D one,

1072
00:29:18,816 --> 00:29:19,717
go back to a time when I

1073
00:29:19,777 --> 00:29:22,219
felt excited and motivated by this.

1074
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:24,641
But it's so important that

1075
00:29:24,721 --> 00:29:26,102
we learn to give ourselves

1076
00:29:26,182 --> 00:29:27,702
permission to be where we

1077
00:29:27,863 --> 00:29:29,163
are in our developmental journey,

1078
00:29:29,183 --> 00:29:30,885
because that's the only place we can be.

1079
00:29:32,385 --> 00:29:33,246
And by giving ourselves

1080
00:29:33,326 --> 00:29:34,527
permission to be there,

1081
00:29:35,247 --> 00:29:37,387
it's going to unlock a

1082
00:29:37,407 --> 00:29:38,468
little bit more energy,

1083
00:29:38,627 --> 00:29:40,628
a little bit more mental

1084
00:29:40,709 --> 00:29:43,970
margin to engage in that phase, right?

1085
00:29:44,009 --> 00:29:44,730
Because when things are

1086
00:29:44,790 --> 00:29:46,451
difficult or we're not sure where we are,

1087
00:29:46,830 --> 00:29:48,011
we feel disorientated.

1088
00:29:48,971 --> 00:29:50,534
Oftentimes what happens is

1089
00:29:50,894 --> 00:29:52,816
we start to avoid that

1090
00:29:52,855 --> 00:29:55,377
process of growth or we want to, you know,

1091
00:29:56,598 --> 00:29:58,201
just abandon ship altogether.

1092
00:29:58,781 --> 00:30:00,282
So knowing where we are and

1093
00:30:00,323 --> 00:30:01,403
giving ourselves permission

1094
00:30:01,443 --> 00:30:03,006
to be where we are is the

1095
00:30:03,026 --> 00:30:05,827
beginning of really

1096
00:30:05,867 --> 00:30:08,730
embracing and optimizing

1097
00:30:09,111 --> 00:30:09,791
our growth journey.

1098
00:30:10,788 --> 00:30:12,028
So, so good.

1099
00:30:12,269 --> 00:30:14,111
And allowing us to really

1100
00:30:14,250 --> 00:30:15,731
mine the gems that each

1101
00:30:15,791 --> 00:30:17,973
phase has to offer us.

1102
00:30:18,694 --> 00:30:20,855
So with that,

1103
00:30:21,237 --> 00:30:22,217
because we always want to

1104
00:30:22,257 --> 00:30:23,538
leave you with practical applications,

1105
00:30:24,259 --> 00:30:25,460
our tools are,

1106
00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:27,422
if they don't feel like

1107
00:30:27,442 --> 00:30:28,442
they move the needle for you,

1108
00:30:28,603 --> 00:30:30,064
then we're not doing our

1109
00:30:30,084 --> 00:30:31,244
job because our tools at

1110
00:30:31,265 --> 00:30:33,246
their core are practical

1111
00:30:33,365 --> 00:30:34,406
handles that you can use

1112
00:30:34,467 --> 00:30:35,228
for transformation.

1113
00:30:35,248 --> 00:30:36,169
And we always want to leave

1114
00:30:36,189 --> 00:30:37,769
you with some of that.

1115
00:30:37,970 --> 00:30:38,750
But that being said,

1116
00:30:39,510 --> 00:30:40,832
We want to encourage you to

1117
00:30:41,093 --> 00:30:42,973
subscribe because our next

1118
00:30:43,074 --> 00:30:44,776
episode is where we are

1119
00:30:44,796 --> 00:30:46,758
going to teach you how to

1120
00:30:47,939 --> 00:30:50,981
layer on the leadership

1121
00:30:51,041 --> 00:30:53,324
style to the development

1122
00:30:53,364 --> 00:30:55,185
square that will basically

1123
00:30:55,425 --> 00:30:57,647
unlock for you how you can

1124
00:30:57,748 --> 00:30:59,490
lead your people well in

1125
00:30:59,690 --> 00:31:01,132
every phase of their own

1126
00:31:01,172 --> 00:31:02,113
developmental journey.

1127
00:31:02,492 --> 00:31:04,454
So this next episode is...

1128
00:31:05,215 --> 00:31:06,397
going to be transformational

1129
00:31:06,557 --> 00:31:07,500
and you don't want to miss it.

1130
00:31:07,539 --> 00:31:08,561
So make sure you subscribe.

1131
00:31:08,721 --> 00:31:10,766
And also I'd be willing to

1132
00:31:10,806 --> 00:31:12,970
bet that you heard some

1133
00:31:12,990 --> 00:31:14,050
things in this episode that

1134
00:31:14,090 --> 00:31:15,294
made you think of another

1135
00:31:15,334 --> 00:31:16,214
leader in your life or

1136
00:31:16,275 --> 00:31:17,416
somebody who's going through.

1137
00:31:18,536 --> 00:31:19,155
something similar,

1138
00:31:19,236 --> 00:31:20,356
somebody who's starting a business,

1139
00:31:20,376 --> 00:31:21,517
somebody who's growing a team,

1140
00:31:21,557 --> 00:31:22,837
somebody who's trying to

1141
00:31:22,897 --> 00:31:24,038
level up their leadership.

1142
00:31:24,678 --> 00:31:26,679
And we'd love if you'd send this to them.

1143
00:31:27,138 --> 00:31:29,019
There's no better message

1144
00:31:29,039 --> 00:31:29,819
that you can send than, hey,

1145
00:31:29,839 --> 00:31:31,060
I'm cheering you on in your

1146
00:31:31,101 --> 00:31:31,760
leadership journey.

1147
00:31:31,780 --> 00:31:33,361
And I think this episode

1148
00:31:33,381 --> 00:31:36,261
would really spark you

1149
00:31:36,923 --> 00:31:37,923
where you're at right now.

1150
00:31:38,961 --> 00:31:40,381
So we'd love if you'd share this.

1151
00:31:40,441 --> 00:31:41,501
And then lastly,

1152
00:31:41,981 --> 00:31:42,981
head to our show notes

1153
00:31:43,001 --> 00:31:44,642
because every episode we

1154
00:31:44,803 --> 00:31:46,803
drop in an image of our

1155
00:31:46,823 --> 00:31:48,242
tools because they are at

1156
00:31:48,262 --> 00:31:49,523
their core visual tools.

1157
00:31:50,483 --> 00:31:52,144
So you can see them and get

1158
00:31:52,163 --> 00:31:53,365
a better grasp on them.

1159
00:31:54,545 --> 00:31:55,525
And also while you're there,

1160
00:31:55,724 --> 00:31:56,765
we have a free gift for you.

1161
00:31:57,125 --> 00:31:58,566
It's our mini course of five

1162
00:31:58,605 --> 00:31:59,705
shifts to become the leader

1163
00:31:59,726 --> 00:32:00,885
that you wish you had.

1164
00:32:01,487 --> 00:32:05,446
So we would love... Pause.

1165
00:32:07,087 --> 00:32:07,387
Pause.

1166
00:32:08,143 --> 00:32:10,044
Josh, you can edit that little bumble out.

1167
00:32:10,464 --> 00:32:11,444
Or not edit it out because

1168
00:32:11,464 --> 00:32:12,405
people need to know this is

1169
00:32:12,445 --> 00:32:13,747
what it really looks like.

1170
00:32:15,728 --> 00:32:17,088
Either way, Josh, up to you.

1171
00:32:18,730 --> 00:32:19,290
At any rate,

1172
00:32:19,451 --> 00:32:20,912
we are so excited to keep

1173
00:32:21,031 --> 00:32:22,153
growing together and we

1174
00:32:22,173 --> 00:32:24,493
look forward to the next

1175
00:32:24,554 --> 00:32:25,454
episode where we get to dig

1176
00:32:25,494 --> 00:32:27,076
into some leadership strategies with you.

1177
00:32:27,096 --> 00:32:32,500
All right, Andrew.