The Santa Clauses (Season One) with Grace Freud
The tradition continues with special guest Grace Freud joining Jamie and Caitlin to discuss season one of the Disney+ original series, The Santa Clauses.
(This episode contains spoilers)
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2022-12-22
107 min
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00:00:00 Speaker 1: Attention Bechtel cast listeners. It's me Caitlin and and me Jamie and guess what what? Wait? Shall we say it together? One? Two, three? We're going on tour that'll sink in the ad eventually. Imagine that, but with more enthusiasm because we're very excited. We haven't gone on to work in three human years. That's twenty one dog years. Wow, that's so true. I am really good at math. So and put a pen and dog because that's going to come back in a few seconds. But for now, we're going to just tell you some preliminary facts about the tour. It's on the West coast of the United States, so we're going everyone else. So we're starting in Los Angeles Ever heard of it? With a show on January at the Alesion Theater the movie Get and that's where the Dog comes back in because it's and it is a dog coming of age movie. It is a goofy movie. We've got been getting requests from this since the beginning, and it's finally time to cover a goofy movie. We can't wait, a coming of age dog movie. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Then we are going to be scooting scooting on up on foot I believe Caitlin and I will be hiking. Oh, that's why there's a bit of a gap all the way to San Francisco for San Francisco Sketch Festival. We've done it before. If you've been before, come out again. That's on February one. And where is that, Caitlin. That's at the Gateway Theater in San Francisco, and we are covering George of the Jungle. Sorry, sorry, sorry, George, George George Jungle. Uh. And then guess what, We're continuing to scoot on up to Portland, Oregon. We will be at Curious Comedy Theater and a theater we love. We're doing two shows in Portland. The first is with the wonderful Sarah Marshall of You're Wrong About and You Are Good. We're going to be covering the Goonies. And then at nine pm, Caitlin, what did tell me more? Okay? Also, this is on February twod oh ship, did I not say that? Groundhog Day? But don't think about the movie groundhog Day because that has nothing to do with our tour. We covered that, we did it already. Sorry bitch. Six years ago. Okay, so first shows at seven pm with Sarah Marshall the Goonies. Second show is at nine pm. It is a surprise mystery guest and a surprise mystery movie. It's going to be a banger. I'm very excited. Come to one, come to both, come to both. None of my business, but it will be different, different shows. And then finally we are scooting on up, continuing our journey on foot to Seattle. And on February five, we're doing a show at Laughs Comedy Club and we are covering the Goonies again because guess what, it's hard work to do a tour and it's a lot to do a bunch of different movies. So well, yeah it's we're doing Pacific Northwest Classics. And so if you're in Seattle, come on up for for the Goonies in Seattle. And yeah, we're really excited to go. We're really excited to see everybody again. Um, we will have merch for you. We sell exclusive posters and stuff like that, designed by Jamie, the one and only designed by Mrs Jamie herself. Yeah, we can't wait to see you and hang out. And uh, it's been eighty four years since it's been eighty four years, really makes you think. So what you're gonna do is go to our link tree, which is it's always so weird to say the link of link tree because it's l I n K t R dot E E flash by actual cast, and that's where each of the ticket links will be to buy tickets for our shows. We love you so much. We're really excited. Get your tickets now, because they are actually genuinely going fast. Usually when I say that, I'm lying, but this time I'm really not. This time it's true, And yeah, brag. Our tickets are moving fast, so you're gonna want to grab them soon, all right, and we'll see you there, West Coast, see you there. On the Doll cast, the questions asked if movies have women and um are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands or do they have individualism? The patriarchy zef invest start changing it with the beck Del cast. Ho ho ho, Jamie, No, you can't say that anymore. Oh sorry, Yeah, Christmas is problematic. I forgot it's me the woke mob. I'm offended. Cut that out. I'm pissed. No, you know what the War on Christmas has lasted long enough, and I won't stand for it. Okay, fine, what are you gonna do about it? Retire? Maybe I will this this. In many ways, I feel like the piece of media we're discussing today is just like so beautifully profoundly American, because it's just a long winded way of telling a man he can never retire. It's not going to be possible, and in fact, it would be morally wrong to retire. Jeff Bezos wouldn't be a good Santa. So you can never retire, is my takeaway. That is exactly what this show is about. Welcome to the Bechtel Cast. My name is Jamie Loftis, my name is Caitlin Darante, and this is our show where we examine usually movies. But guess what we're doing today for the very first time in Becktel cast history. We said we'd never do it. But we're like, we're not going to cover TV. We just we don't have the time. It's two time considers we won't be moving forward except there's already been a season two. But what were we gonna do not cover the Santa Clauses? What are we five years old? Of course we're going to cover the Santa Clauses. It's important that we do so, it's critical. Yes, I feel like we don't even need to explain what the Bechtel test is today because this show passes it with flying colors. Anyways, so I'm not even worried about it, not even an issue. And this show kind of transcends themes. It's it's kind of a tone poem. I would say. That's definitely what I said in the pitch. There's so wait, can we let's let's unpack this. Let's let's get our guests in the room because Caitlin and I full disclosure, didn't come in with all the information because which is wow, because Grace, we're very close, and I just thought like you would have told me, well, I've just I've been really you know, busy. It's hard making a TV show, Yeah, is it? Okay, let's have so many questions, but okay, okay, So let's introduce our guests. You know, our guest from our episodes on the Santa Claus one, two, and three and although we did record it one three and two for some reason, right right, right right, never forget and in a surprise twist that we just found out about the other major credit for our guest is that she is the head writer of the Santa Clauses. It's Grace Freud. What the fuck? Yeah, it was an incredible experience. I am really proud of what we made together, and it's been magical right from the Goya. When I met Tim for the first time, I say, Hi, I'm Grace and he says Greg. I said, no, Grace. He says Grace. I said, yeah, Grace. He says Grace. I said yeah, Grace, because oh yeah, I said yeah, Grace. He says, okay. And I think the comedic wonder of that conversation he really shines through at every moment of the show. Yeah, I think. I mean, I would say I'm surprised to hear that things went that naturally to begin with, but it really it really comes forth in the work. The work is just unbelievable. I mean, it kind of speaks for itself. Yeah. I think that it was very humbly to work with Tim because he was so impressed by my capabilities as a writer and a comedian that he couldn't look me in the eyes. He never once looked me in the eyes, and I took that to be I was. I was honored to work with him, but he was so honored to work with me. It's like he was almost afraid to be around me and that that was incredible. But yeah, I'm really proud of what we made together. I mean, I would say in awe problem. I mean, that's how I'm interpreting that is just an absolute awe because it's like, you know, he's a mere cocaine felon, you know, like he can't do what you do. Mmmm. Yeah. I tell stories with words right famously, and Tim tells stories with noises, Like you know, he's not great at saying words, but he's so good at a grunt. He's basically the the Cary Grant of grunts. And it was an honor to work with him. And it's an honor to talk about this continuation of a universe. I so love on this podcast and it was interesting how you and it passes the Bechdel test because it does. But that's the reason I've been fired going into season two. Oh Mike, you're not coming back. Well, I'm coming back in a slightly different role, okay, which I can talk more about landering what you were fired because you made the show pass the Bechdel test too much, or it wasn't supposed to. Yeah, it wasn't supposed to really pretty much. Tim's only request was for it to not pass the Bechdel test. Lease, don't let women talk to each other if you if you remember, the third Santa Claus film does in fact fast the Bechtel test. That's why he didn't do anymore for so long. He was so mad about it. Yeah, I mean, I honestly was surprised. I thought that El Camino Christmas was going to be kind of the new direction. But when that didn't get a sequel, shockingly well and he dies at the end, So yeah, but he could have come back. Well, that's a unique could have come back in Santa Clause. Maybe it's true. The lore is there, um Grace. The thing is like, what we didn't realize. We didn't know that you were the head writer when we started preparing for this episode. So I feel like the tone of our notes, I guess I just want to like say, everything we have is constructive, and I'm sure that you have like an answer for everything, and so like, I guess I'm just now feeling very insecure about kind of the tone of my notes. I don't think. I don't think you should feel that way at all. I think any piece of powerful art is going to have just as powerful of a response. And to me, this is a symposium And I'm sorry, do you mean something like Santo posiums st which is the zac type of joke that you consistently wrote into the show? Yeah? Oh, those I did not write those jokes. You didn't, Oh, I see, Okay, Sorry, I didn't write. In fact, none of our writers wrote those jokes. Who did? Who wrote the jokes? Well? Tim had a friend on set that, as far as we can tell, has no comedy, film or television experience. Where do you meet Where do you meet Tim? How do they know each other? From what I could understand, this man knew Tim from some sort of what did they call it? Blood gambit? I believe that at some point in the past few years, Tim lost a wager and now this man has final cut on all of Tim's projects. I see. That's shocking to hear. But also you know, to I get it. You know Tim's gotta do it. Tim's gotta do It's just it's a challenging piece. I will say, Let's I would actually like to start with like a compliment, just like top of my head one of my favorite jokes, So Caitlin, I mean, I know that you're going to have trouble kind of you know, parsing out what what joke is the best? You know? But I I think that my favorite joke was before one of the many astronomically expensive music cues that appear in this television show. This one's right before I have the Tiger, and I believe and Grace correct me if I'm not quoting this. Well, Scott Calvin say something like, actually, I have this Santa Tiger and then I have the Tiger starts one of I think the most expensive music cues that you could do. But it just seems like it just had to happen that way. And I was like, I was on the floor. Yeah, I um decided to say, prifice my salary so we could have that thirty seconds sequence that I have a Tiger. I didn't get end up getting paid a cent for this job because of that. That's now who had to give up their their salary for girls just want to have fun? Who was on the chopping block for that one? I stopped paying the I stopped paying all of the writers assistants for that that was a me choice, though they didn't they wanted to be paid when I well, it's kind of Stu. That's not very Christmas spirity of them. So what I'm learning is that you became a bit like cal Penn's character in this show. Not at all, okay, because I would say that cal Penn's character who does not have a name, we referred to it was kal Pen's character in the show. Actually to the point where cal Penn says at one point, cal what a cool name. That's the line that I think is really going to get us an Emmy. Oh okay, that was for an Emmy. Well, don't forget the part where there's like a smoke monster. I think it's an episode six. And then Carol, who was famously in Lost, is like, I think I've seen one of these before because there was famously a smoke monster in Lost. Wow, I gotta tell you that went right over my head. Our metrics show that most you know, this was targeted to kids between five and eleven, and our metrics show that most kids have c Lost and get that joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why the two big things for elementary school age kids right now are lost at Harold and kumartin movies. So oh, I thought, oh, that's they like they watched Harold and Kumar. I was wondering if they just really loved former Obama staffers. I didn't know if that was like where they knew Calpen from Harold and Kumart or the Obama administration. Actually, yeah, we're hoping they don't find out about that, because we're finding that a lot of kids those age their politics are kind of more like Romney Republican, you know, like stand against Trump. But also you know, essentially Mormon. Mormonism is really popular with elementary school kids now too, And I think you see that in the show. I mean really because basically the mythology of how Santa works is essentially the Book of Mormon. You can track it like point for point. So we kind of ripped them off but lovingly. But yeah, I mean I think that, like, was I a little tyrannical in the room? Yeah? Did? I wasn't going to ask that. Did I fire a few people? Yeah? Well that's why I'm saying you were like kal Pen's character he and he also anti union. It's well okay, But okay, so I did that all of that stuff to get into the mind of cal Pen's character, but I was not that is not like cal Penn's character at all, because he would never walk the walk, you know, like he doesn't walk the walk of Santa I walked the walk of kal Penn's character, so I could walk the walk of being a good showrunner and writing a good piece of television. And I really like to think of it as a movie that has been broken up into episodes that each have their own beginning, middle, and ends. It's three hours long. Avatar two is three hours long. It's an avatars worth of the Santa Claus. Why can't um If you need proof that there's a war on Christmas, it's the fact that Avatar The Way of Water is being called a movie, but the Santa Claus is is not being called a work of film. It's reduced to television. Yeah, it will not even be considered for the Academy Awards. The Academy won't even consider the Santa Clauses for Best Picture, for Best Picture, for Best Screenplay, for Best Direction, for Best Lead Acting, Special Effects. Yeah, is there a music? Is there? Is there a Best Callback Music Montage category at the Oscars. No oh, probably because Christmas movies usually do that beast every year. It really is. The Academy is like, I mean, we know the Academy is like really fucked up. But the fact that it's like, you know that the nominations are going to come out and there's going to be like not even for Cruton, are we going to be seeing a nomination, which at very least it's like Cruton's performance is above Like you know, it doesn't even matter if if the work is good, which it is, but like, yeah, we Cruton brings. It's unbelievable. Best Supporting Elf is what that character deserves, not even a category. I just don't understand what, you know, take like everything everywhere all at once. It's a it's a film that people love in large part because it's about, you know, the cycle of like trauma and you know, intergenerational trauma and being immigrants and and queerness. And that's exactly what The Santa Clauss is about. This is a family immigrated to the North Pole dealings with the intergenerational trauma of that, and you know, the daughter is queer because she thinks horses are sexy or something. Oh, Grace, I have a question about that. How did you cast the voice for their being tear that says you're my best friend just like that? Yeah, what did you find? What was the casting process like that? Surely that wasn't scratch audio, right, that was Yeah, that was actually a pretty a pretty long process because in my plans for season two, who knows if if they'll go with them, but in my plans for season two that reindeer Steve was going to be the villain, so we actually cast it's he has the spirit of John Wayne Gaycy in him. So we actually cast someone context is key to have like a scary serial killer John Wayne Gacy voice, And we took that seriously because you know, John Wayne Gacy caused real harm to real people. So when you when you cast someone to play him, whether as a human or as a ghost living in side of a reindeer, you have to respect that and find an after who can really embody that character. And so we we went with Cuba Gooding jr. Um. Oh you gotta wow, because he I mean, he did he did O j he was ojay Yeah, and he was he was available and he's done a lot of bad stuff, much like John Wayne Gazy. Yeah, no regrets on that. I think he did kill He really did a great job. I just I just have one more question before we get into the recap, because it's kind of going on that theme now. I'm you know, I'm kind of a pedestrian viewer. I like, you know, I'm not much of an art house gal. So this is very possible that this is just I'm just operating thoroughly out of my wheelhouse here. But in the final episode, Sandra opens a closet door and begins speaking to something. I was pretty afraid of this creature. You know, you could tell his computer generated and it kind of like kind of talk like this, Yeah, could you what was What was that? That was not computer generated at all? My god, I'm so embarrassed right now. What's I'm sorry. Disney has been working on creating special creatures and beasts. Oh, they're like genetically engineering. They're genetically engineering new animals two be in their films for when like they're worried that the c g I artists are are unionizing, so instead of giving you know, meeting their demands, paying them the extra ted mill or whatever, it would cost on any given project. They've decided to spend upwards of a hundred billion dollars trying to just genetically engineer every any given creature they would they would need to see g I into uh into a film or a TV show, which is why disease. It's it's about God. It's yeah, it's well, yeah, it's it's about It's there. I think their move is to use these creatures to rise up and take control of the economy. I don't know what other move they have, because God, they've gotten really good at making these things. But boy did it cost a lot of money. But it sounds a little crasp, but I just feel like that creature could have gone through another couple of drafts. I found it very unsettling. But it looked very strong. I will say it looked very very I'm confident it could have killed me. Yeah, we call that a pist slip. The scientists name it. The scientists are very crass. They don't really have the Disney spirit um nor the creativity that someone like you, the head writer of this show has. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't get to pick by the way. Really, they just gave me one, just like we want to it's like as a pet. Oh, we put it down. Okay. I was worried because if it just kicked the door. No, no, we put it. We put that, We put that little bugger down. Yeah. Was that. I want to help Sandra but didn't even come back in the episode. Did I pluck out like I think? Doesn't come back? It helped find the coat kind of, you know. The great thing about the search for the coat was that no one really had to do anything, and of a sudden it was just that. Yeah, you know, that was I think a real stroke of genius. My favorite part about it coat was fun. It was crawling for its life when I was dying. Oh yeah, suddenly it's a sentient or is it a santient? Santient coat? There you go. Someone might have just gotten a job on season two. If you're hiring Shell, I will still be hiring and running the show. But kind of from the shadows, Um, I've been devoted a shadow show runner. Sure, sure, but it did an initial interview for it and oh, I don't know if we need an interview with you, Jamie. Um, I just feel like, oh that's fine. You know, you just haven't been quite bringing the pun game that we really need. I was just gonna say. I was like, you know, I I heard, you know, because people talk. I heard that Santa Claus season two might want to be using sympathy for the Devil for no reason in episode three, and I would be willing to forsake my three hundred sixty four days pay to make that possible, you know, if that would be Oh yeah, okay, yeah, let me think about that. Yeah. I think we're going to be using sympathy for the Devil in most episodes. And it's actually a lot of season two is going to be an exploration of the coats trauma, um see, and and that I think is a really worthwhile That's a story that we want told. Okay, you know. I then, actually, respectfully, I'm gonna I'm gonna pull myself out of the running it. It would feel wrong to take up space when the coat you know right there? Do you own a coat? But I do. I do own a coat, and I was clinging to it for dear life, and I've sort of been reevaluating my relationship to the coat, realizing I've lost a coat before, and you know, where where did it end up? Didn't end up in cal Pen's clutches. You know, it's just sort of been a whole journey. But yeah, I know I have a lot of coat experience, if that's why you're asking. Yeah, okay, okay, yeah, literally no pressure. Well, while you ponder that, shall I do the recap? Oh yeah, I'd sure love to see you try. I'm gonna try my damnedest. But before we before I get into it, let's take a quick break and we're back. All right, all right, Grace, if you have any uh, you know, notes or insights, feel free to to let us know, you know, kind of as we're going, because I just like this is such a behind the scenes street. Yeah, it's difficult to recap the Santa Clauses because it's not only a tone poem, but it's kind of like an impressionistic visual work. I really have my work cut out for me. Yeah, yeah, good luck, thank you. I'm gonna go episode by episode. Did you say the episode titles too? Because I have a question right away, which is why is the first episode called good to Ho? Well? Why is it called good to Ho? Grace? You have a the insight it's because I gasped. It's basically what happened is we had to cut a subplot that would have dealt with really tastefully. Despite the term in the title, it would have really tastefully dealt with, Like it was mostly about like reindeer sex work in the North Pool, and so it wasn't aware And so while that that's a derogatory term, it was in there because some of the characters we're using it and by the end of the episode learned, Oh, that's not good for me to do. That's interesting because I mean that's actually helpful because what remains is a little baffling because in that the space of that episode, you know, you see the episode title good to how and you you're in your mind, you're like, this show is for five to eight year old why would they title Why would they title that for adults? You know? And then later in the episode and Elf, who's a doctor, has the same phrase written on a tape measure. Yeah. Yeah, again. I think before we took out this like really thought provoking subplot, a lot of that would have made sense. And in fact, I think taking out that subplot makes a lot of this. I think that's my biggest regret of what we did on the show. Mainly because when you're rewatching it, you know, which I'm sure you will very rewatch whenever you see a reindeer, doesn't that reindeer look like it's just came? And because we got off the subplot you're my best friend, we don't know what I say. Every time after I come, that's usually what I will say. Yeah, because we cut out that subplot, we don't share the reindeers fucking at all. Yeah, but the reindeers are acting like when Steve says, look, one of the reasons he says, it's so weird. It's not just the ghost of John Wayne Gacy played by Cuba Gooding Jr. It's also because, oh, he's tired. He's been going at it. Yeah, he's huffing and puffing. Wow, it's true. And just one last thing before I didn't find this out for the entire time I was watching all Avatar's worth of this. Um Sandra is played by Tim Allen's actual daughter. Oh did not realize that either, Yeah, yes, okay, they met on set. Well, I think we have all the information we need, all the context we need to to dive in. So episode one, good to ho it's Christmas Eve Santa Scott Calvin Santa who we know in of from the first three movies. He's out delivering gifts with his elf friend Noel. Uh. He reflects on how it's been twenty eight years since he's been Santa Claus. But oh no, his Santa magic falters a bit. He returns to the North Pole. We meet head Elf Betty and some of the other else. Looks like Kara Delavine got hit with a shrink ray. Yes, oh god, she looks like baby Kara del Vine. I know she's also on Station eleven, but I haven't seen that show, so I thought baby Kara de la Vine. Anyways, so maybe First Woman had alf ever progressive Tim could not have been happy about Can you just consider that going? Like you just remember that that we did that? Really cool? Really cool? Yeah, it was good. So she and some of the other Elves and Mrs Claus are all concerned about Santa's magic and how it isn't working properly. The woke mob is that? I mean that was I assume it was political correctness was taking away from the magic of of Scott's Christmas. Right. Well, you've seen the end of the of the season, which very clearly doesn't answer what was happening, and we did that intentionally, so it looks like it's the jacket, it's the witch, it's the orb. You really can't say we were saying political correctness was doing that to Santa's magic because the ending is so intentionally unclear that you just simply can't say that. And that's how you get a second season. Honey, exactly, answering, no question. Yeah, the SAX season is going to deal with that at all. But yes, yeah, okay, So they think that this loss of Christmas magic is happening because not enough children around the world believe in or need Santa Claus anymore. So Santa is like, well, I guess I'd better work harder to try to be a better Santa, and I need to gain weight, and so there's a whole montage of him trying to gain weight and do some other things to try to be a better Santa, more like I have the Santa Tiger. Yes, yes, exactly, yeah, I think notably. You know, we had Santa crack a couple of eggs, raw eggs into a glass and then pour them over a bunch of candy and chocolate and a blender pretty funny. I love that. I mean that visual story that was really really funny. That's comedy. I mean that is I think a joke that is just kind of in the American lexicon. Now it is from now on herd A. Yes, So we see this montage where he's trying to be a better Santa, which is mostly him eating candy, and this is all happening as the year passes and we approached the next Christmas. Also, Santa and Mrs Claus have two kids. Their son cal a k A Buddy Calvin Claus who was he born in one of the movies. Yeah, he was born at the end of Santa Claus three Antilus three. Okay, right, you gotta get Carol something I do, as Tim would say. So there's cal Buddy, and then there's also their daughter Sandra. So the next Christmas rolls around, Santa is not excited about Christmas as he used to be. The spirit is just in general down. Meanwhile, cal Penn, whose name is something like Simon something Simon chocks. Yes, but he's he's kind of a he's kind of a Jeff Bezos type. But and Grace, I thought this was a really really smart choice. What if we were voting for Jeff Bezos as if he was an underdog, and I had never thought of it that way, And now I feel so freaking bad for things I've said over the years. How dare you? Yeah, it's it's really I think with the character of cow Pens character. And again, you guys made up the name for him on the spot. We never we never gave him a name. We wanted to do kind of like a spoken word but with visuals of where capitalism is at in our country right now. And I think what we say is it's at a pretty good place. Yeah, well, I think we can all agree with that. And I'm sure that you know, the cow Pens of the world need to say sorry, the cow Pens character of the world. Mean, yeah, I think that's really true. I think you know, there's so many things happening. It's Oh, he runs this big company that has six percent of the market share, which seems a lot of the market. Um, and he's like made a bunch of successful video games, but now he wants to be Amazon. Amazon still exists in this world too, and everyone's and apparently he has to go to a venture capital fir him to get more funds even though he's already very successful. Yeah, and his daughter doesn't seem like she goes to school. It seems like she goes to the venture capital firm. Yes, as well, she's his assistant. Yeah, yes, yes, And I think that raises a lot of questions. I think everything I just said raises a lot of questions. And I think America should ask themselves the questions and provide the answers themselves, and that will help us as a country find our soul again. If I have hubris, if if I provided the answers to these questions about cow Pen's character, I would basically be saying, this is what's wrong, and this is how to fix the economy. That's not your responsibility, and I don't know how to do that. And it's such a classic Christmas tale, you know, to really quickly and automatically forgive the ostensible villain of the story by just reminding people that he had a dead not just a dead wife, but a dead wife who existed in an entirely different aspect ratio as the rest of the show. Yes, yes, yes, she existed cow Pens modern life. That was that one of your creative choices, Grace yeah, I want to I movie. Right before we put that episode up, I changed she real quick, right live. Yeah, I think he could have gone Ken Burns, but I appreciated the artistic choice was in Ken in the fact that would be so just slowly. I think another great thing we were able to do with that character is you're supposed to root for him up until all of a sudden he's the most evil man to ever be in the North Pole, and then you're supposed to root for him again. And that is much like life, and that's just good writing. I would say, um So cal Pen he's the CEO of an Amazon like company called Everything Now, but the companies in trouble because of their system of delivering packages being really shitty. They're they're bad drones, bad drones. When the drones go to the North Pole, they have gunn and they're good and they're like very competent drones, which is I just thought that was a fun call back to um the aggressive militarization that Scott Calvin put in place in the Pole, because it wasn't extremely militarized before Scott, you know, was not elected, took control, rested control of the North Pole. He does you know, run a little bit of a tight ship up there, and he's you know, the elves are militarized, always have been, and you know now we've outsourced that work to the drones. And I think that that's really um responsible, I mean art imitating life much Yeah, um okay. So then the episode ends on the following Christmas Eve, Santa is out delivering gifts, but he falls off of a roof and maybe he's dead. That was, again, just a really alarming way to end the pilot episode. Is killing Tim Allen? Okay, I thought it was upset. Here's what here's the direction I thought the show was going to go in, So Grace, maybe you have an explanation for why what was clearly being set up never ends up happening. Where So there's a moment in episode one that I didn't mention, but cal pen he's like all stressed out because his company sucks. He goes outside, he looks up into the sky and he sees Santa like teleporting and he's like, if Santa can do it, so can I not paid off? On? So, I thought the show was going to set up that cal Penn's character was going to try to kill Santa to take over his spot as Santa. But that doesn't happen. Someone could have told him that Santa Claus, and then that would have been he would have been a really scary villain. It kind of would have been cool. Well, we didn't really want to make a cool show. We wanted to make a heartwarming show, right, so you can't really make a warm show that's cool. Wow, those are two ends of a spectrum, that's right. That that just doesn't add up, you know. Surprisingly enough, on set, Cal was constantly trying to kill Tim Outen in real life because I assume that's why he took the job. When he when he took the job, he thought he was going to end the season as Santa, and when he found out he wasn't, he was very, very angry. So he got it in his head that if he killed Tim, he he would then become Santa in the show. And I kept saying, Cal, put the gun down, put the gun down, That's not how it works. But he just kept at it. He just kept at it. I can't believe we finished. He's a bad shot. He's just a bad shot, you know. I think maybe he's shooting at Tim. Hell. Yeah, yeah, I think he. I think cal might be uh might be h token up a little bit too much like like his famous like his famous President Obama. Yeah, like President Obama. Yeah, like his his hero. Okay, Okay, I would just like to say Tim loved it. Okay, Tim loved the excitement. And also the other thing that he loved is one of those bullets killed his friend who he had the blood game bit with. So after episode four, Tim was free. Um, and that's why it gots really really good around u. Yeah. And that's about the time that him and Kel you know, made up. Okay, and it shows, it shows on screen. Yeah. Okay. Episode two the successes clause. Actually, let's take another quick break and then we will come back for more recap and we're back. Okay. So we are at episode two. Santa, having just fallen off the roof, is lying in the snow. But don't worry, he's not dead. He was low key falling off and then he fell off of the roof. Yeah. So he returns to the North and Elf Betty is like, look, let me tell you about something called the successes clause, where if Santa doesn't want to be Santa anymore, he can retire and choose a successor, and Mrs Claus really likes this idea of him retiring, and Betty and some of the other elves think it's a good idea too, because they've been noticing his magic faltering, you know, Christmas spirits down, all that stuff. I just want to jump in really quick and say that what I really liked how Carol's arc, which it really builds up to a call back to the Santa Claus too that I forgot about where she fights large nutcrackers but toy soldiers. Sorry, my bad, that's my political correctness. Get But Carol, her whole thing is that she the'se uh you know, I think that a lot of people will say falls into kind of empty girl bos stereotypes, but I didn't view it that way at all. She's just like, you know, she's slowly forgetting who she was in her earlier life, and so she's kind of just like walking around yelling about that for about four episodes before anything really demonstrably changes. And I thought that was, you know, felt much like life. Yeah, I think a lot of this show is very slice of life, or when you peel back, most of the layers are a bit of a modern family. Yeah, a bit of a post modern family even. Wow, well holy, that is why they pay you the big box. Yes, that was good. This is why they paid me. They were going to pay me a lot of money, which is good because that my salary was big enough so that when I when I said to forego it, we were able to purchase the right side of the Tiger. Right. I was like, that's big books that I wish I could give my kids at Christmas this year. But you know, I have the Tiger. I think worth it. I think. So Santa has the idea to retire but still be able to stay in the North Pole. And how that's going to work is he's going to have his son, Charlie be his successor. So he visits Charlie in Florida. There's a fun little Jurassic Park reference there, but Charlie doesn't want to do it. He's an adult now and he has a his wife and kids, and she's and let me just say though, I think I found Charlie's wife to be maybe maybe a bit trill, But you know, I think at the end of the day, women be like that. Women famously be trill. So that tracks it's so interesting that you read that character as his wife. Oh sorry, the intention they are two best friends platonically raising kids together. Okay, incredibly close minded of me. I'm so sorry. They're in a platonic marriage, so like legally it is his wife, but sexually, emotionally, they wouldn't use those terms, you know, for each other. And this is actually huge because Charlie in this episode is the first ever gay Disney character who is married to a woman that he that he's only had sex with. Twis wow, to have those children, I have the kids, have the kids. So much all about Charlie. But the man makes his shocked, you know, And I think that that's to be applauded. I think that's that's incredible. Congratulations on making history in the Santa class. That's to saying, since a closet, I'm so sorry. Yeah, And I thought again, I'm like bringing my you know, everyman brain to to my viewing experience. I thought, you know, for sure, Charlie's this is gonna be the only scene he's going to be in, a scene you could cut out, no problem, wouldn't matter. But he doesn't come back. He doesn't cut you know. And I think that that's really cool that he he made his decision he wanted to continue to peacefully co parent in Florida, and and and bless him, and we didn't hear from him again. It doesn't seem like, you know, like many of Tim Allen's kids, that doesn't seem like they really keep in touch. Wasn't there a little girl from maybe Santa Claus three that was like his not stepdaughter? Oh yeah, it was it Charlie's stepsister's. Oh yeah, right. Anyway, so Scott Calvin is like, oh, well, if Charlie doesn't want to become Santa Claus, maybe my other her son, Cal will want to become Santa Claus. But cal doesn't want to either, and neither Cal nor Sandra too busy playing all those damn video games. I love that arc for him. A lot of people, I think, thought that the VR helmet was just like a a prop used in in promotional images to just show that he was this techy guy. But no, it's in every It's in every episode. It really is. We use it a lot. That's kind of his whole thing. And how he's able to replace the VR in front of his face with a woman, which is you know, I mean those two things. Yeah, another game for him to play. I love giving the game. So so Cal doesn't want to be Santa Claus, and neither Cal nor Sandra really like living in the North Pole, so they're also pro their dad retiring. Meanwhile, Christmas spirit continues to dwindle around the world, and this is something that they know because there's this like Christmas orb that the brighter it shines, the more Christmas spirit there is, the doller and darker it is, the less Christmas Spirit there is. However, something I notice is, no matter how little Christmas Spirit there seems to be, the orb always looks the exact same. It doesn't seem to be getting any darker or lighter. Was this another creative choice or the effect? Basically? You you you seem to have misunderstood the entire I'm sorry, Yes, it's it's multiple times it says it's about the brightness. But one time Betty or Cara Delvin, it was and she was played by Kara. We got Kara that is like Martin Scorsese, like age technology. How did you do that? We cut her up real good? Oh you mean like cosmetic surgery. Yeah, we meet her legs real short or would it be claus metic surgery? Yeah, okay, am I am. I still in the running for a job on season two. You've got it. It's really it's really hard not to get piste off about this as it's happening. Ye. Sorry, Jamie, I don't mean to be gloating. No, it's all good. She at one point says that she's like, look, there's a black hole in the center and it's getting bigger. So really, I think it's if you notice the whole gets slightly bigger and then all of a sudden it's just gone. Yeah. I think there's just like some miscommunication. But also that is life, So we left it in there because it is a slice of life, and magic works much like life, of course, and the acting clearly telegraphed it because every time someone picked up the ORB they would say something like oh no, and you're like, well, okay, now I understand that's how I'm supposed to feel. That's a bad way for the ORB to look. Even at one point when Nol is hiding it behind his hand and then he reveals it, it kind of looks fine, it looks the same. Well, he's got he's flashing it. He's got a flashlight, but even when he takes a flashlight away, it still looks the exact same. Remember why that couldn't be the case because we have the absolutely iconic closing shot of episode three where it's like ninety second straight of just looking at the orb And are you telling me nothing had happened this during that? Are you telling me it doesn't get darker during those ninety seconds? Are you telling me we're looking at essentially a static or with nothing happening for for a minute. I don't think I would have that happened on my television show. And I respect I mean all all of the you know, ununionized and disrespected VR artists who had to work on this show. You know, you can see that they certainly brought it to the intro the opening credits because Caitlin and I were saying back and forth it was kind of like body horror. I think that it was the genre I would put the opening credits in. But it was fascinating. It was beautiful visual feast. I mean, like the c g I artists, are they not unionized? That's true, but you said there disrespected, and I just don't. I just don't think that's the case, because Tim and his friends every time that they ran into the c g I artists would be you like, you know, good yet hot pair of shoulders on you. Oh, very complimentary. Yeah, it's like, is that sexual? I don't know, it's shoulders like, I don't think so. I think that was just a nice thing to say. I don't know, it's shoulder pointed. And that's a classic Hollywood phrase. You hear you hear that around all the time. You've got good shoulders on your shoulders. Yeah. Okay, So Santa Claus two sides to officially retire for the sake of his family. He wants to spend more time with his family and he announces this to his elves. They all throw a fit. Meanwhile, cal Penn is still trying to figure out a way to solve his company's package delivery problem, and he wants to see if he can figure out a way to recreate Santa's delivery system. And then one of the elves e d I believe it's her name, goes to cal Pen and abducts him and his daughter Grace and brings them to the North Pole. That's how episode two ends. Yeah, fun okay. Episode three entitled Into the Wobbly Woods. So here we come. Here comes a plot which, oh yes, so yes, Santa is packing up. He's gearing up to leave. Cal Pen and his daughter Grace are now at the North Pole. Santa interviews cal Pen because he is a candidate to be a possible Santa replacement, as is who is that guy, Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning, Oh, come on, that was hilarious, cal Sorry, it was pretty good. I was cracking up. I understood every joke and referenced his personal and public life. When he said, hey, don't let my wife know, I was like, oh, yeah, that's Peyton Manning. All right. What they just say? Did he cheat on his wife? This is a serious question. Were they joking about how he has cheated on his wife? What was that joke? No, joke was about how he is very devoted to his wife. Oh well, then I then I was laughing for the right reasons. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't thinking. And also, this Peyton Manning sequence, by god, you could see you could see why this man was the greatest stand up comedian of all time because he was just so on the ball, like he was so energy as that guy was, you know, he must have ad lived one or two jokes even incredible. My god, when he said Brady, I I stood up and cheered, that's that Alan, magic baby. I was beside myself. I was like, you know, and it's kind of like, you know, as as a comedian myself, sometimes I can I find it really amazing to watch someone, you know, working at that caliber. But then there are moments and I think this was one of them where you just it's almost like discouraging because you see that and you're just like, well, I can ever do that? I mean, what's the fucking point? You know? I got to see I had the pleasure of getting to see to Tim you know, mentor some of the younger actors on set, not actresses, just actors, and he was he was talking to the kid we got playing his son, Calm, who was also you know, getting in a stand up and he said listen. He said, listen, listen, kid, this is my number one tip about doing stand up comedy. And the kid was like what and he goes, don't do it? And that that was inspiring to me because he was basically challenging this young man to not listen to him and and prove himself by going out and doing it. Yeah. And I've been seeing him at open mics, so yeah, really not there he's doing it. Oh that's amazing. I bet he has some good ideas, is would you say that he's got like did Tim's politics rub off on him? Again? I kind of you know, that'd be kind of awesome. I mean, listen, we I I see the whole cast every Sunday. I'll see them. We're recording on a Sunday, so i'll see them later today. We're like, oh no at our Romny planning meetings. Oh cool, I mean a church can be anything, you know. Well yeah, well um, So here's what happens next, is that the interview that Cal gives to be a new possible new Santa doesn't go well. But then his daughter Grace gets lost or they think that she's Steven though she's with Sandra. But Santa and Kalpen go looking for her in the Wobbly Woods and guests who lives there a Christmas witch Christmas Witch, sorry not Christmas Switch, which is sort of like a princess switch Christmas Witch, and she takes Santa and Kalpen to her house, which is where Grace and Sandra are because Sandra wanted to talk to the witch because Sandra has just discovered that she can hear animals talk, which is where we get the amazing iconic reindeer voiced by John Wayne Gazy. Yeah. And uh and during this this you know, adventure in the Wobbly Woods, Santa realizes that cal Pen actually should be Santa. He would make a great Santa. And so he's like, Calpen, do it. And He's like, Okay, I'll do it. So and also, in one of the many kind of feminist side quests that I'm sure Tim couldn't have been happy about, the Chris I was really heartened to see it. Um, Sandra hangs out with the Witch. This is not paid off on, but it's just something for us to know that she hangs out with the witch because her parents don't understand her. Well. Yeah. Also, the Witch teaches her of about womanhood and like just is a really important resource. The Witch is kind of the planned parenthood of and she does have all the secrets, yeah, all of the all of the tools and resources. Yeah. Yeah. Meanwhile, Mrs Claus has forgotten what everything she is, and she's not really able to parent right now. She's yeah. Yeah, so the Witch is kind of her mother and doctor and everything, taking on all rules. I like. I liked the Witch. Also, I just wanted to shout out in episode three, Um, Caitlin, you pointed this out to me in our text as one of your favorites, and I just wanted to make sure you got the opportunity to compliment Grace or the blood Quantum guy. I'm not really sure, but U n f T s nutty fudgy tea cakes. Yes, that was me. I mean, well play. I think n f T s are just such a funny thing to joke about and also a great investment. Not a lot of things that are fun to joke about and also a great investment. I would say pretty much, pretty much just n f T s and healthy relationships. Wow, Damna there there she goes again, blowing freaking mind. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So now that Santa has found his replacement, he's like, okay, I'm ready to go. The Elves give him a send off. I think this is the elves just want to have fun dance like break dancing. No, this is isn't it? Like last Christmas. Oh that's right, Okay, Oh yeah, another expensive I think there's a total of three elve dancing sequences because there's also a really menacing one in the last episode where the elves are just coming slowly coming towards the Calvin family and then they ell Satan instead of Santa, which I did laugh at. And it's important too because it just shows this is kind of knowls big time to shine, who is Santa's best friend and Mary to the head elf, and his kind of arc is is realizing that, like he should spend more time with his wife, mirroring Santra's arc I will say something that's never worked for me in this franchise, as having children pretend to be in centuries long marriages together. It's just never quite hit for me. But I know people's mileage will vary on that. Well, you know, we never had marriage be a part of it until and Tell the show, and we decided to have marriage be a thing that we bring up constantly in the show. Um, and I think it works. We'll never forget how in the first movie, Scott Calvin says something to a child playing an elf and then she thinks that he's hitting on her, and she says, no, thanks, I'm seeing someone in rapping. So yes, but marriage, yeah, health marriage was legalized relatively recently at our north pool. That's kind of their version of gay marriage now is still not a thing up there? Okay, okay, yeah there, I mean there are a couple of centuries behind. Yeah. Um okay. So Santa and his family leave, well, they're transported magically to Chicago to live their new non Santa lives, and that's how episode three ends. Episode four entitled the Shoes Off the Bed Claws, which is a reference to a throwaway line that has nothing to do with anything. What is that a reference to? I I struggled with that. So there's a seat, Well if I made grace not to explain your show in front of you. There's a moment where Scott Calvin is talking to Carol and he's like, my whole life has just been a or I guess my career as Santa has been a series of clauses, and so he's then he then recaps the first three movies and then he's like, I don't even like he's basically just conflicted about like his career at Santa, and then also what he's supposed to do now, and she's like, well, you still got the shoes off the bed clause because they're sitting on a bed, and I guess he has his shoes on, and I think that's her way of telling him to get his shoes off the bed. That was my interpretation. Can you confirm or deny see this is dead, Grace? Well, I would say that that's all correct. But if you if you call it a throwaway line, my mistake. Not only do I think you don't get the show, I don't don't. I don't think you get how writing works. Hey, Grace, could I just say really quick, I didn't think it was a throwaway line. I thought it was important. I take full responsibility. Well, I think that the ray that might have a for the for a job on season two might have a a new host of the Bechtel Desk in the leave. Okay, now I should note that I'm just talking about the race between you two. The broader race of writers were considering mediard front. But when I got specifically, okay, so we're like in a game of Mario Kart where we're neck and eleven and twelfth place. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, And sometimes I get a couple of feet ahead. I mean, that's a that's a great analogy. You keep coming there and you might almost get the job. Many I just I'm just trying to get into Cal's head because he loves video games so much, you know, because I just love this. I just love this show. In the world it builds, and the world it builds and then ignores Wow brown noser. Okay, Okay, So what happens then, Caitlin, I'll tell you. Okay. So episode four Shoes Off the Bed clause, we're at the North Pole. Kal Penn's character is ready to put on the Santa coat and become Santa Claus, but oh no, the Santa coat is missing. He gives a speech to the elves Betty and Noel again they're the married ones, hate this new Santa, and Betty is all like, where is your coat? You ship head, and he's like, I don't know, I lost it. And then also he's like, I have an idea, what if Christmas was every day, three d and sixty five days a year, which I sort of was like, that was an episode of The Fairly Odd Parents, But I appreciate it. I thought it was kind of an homage to that. Yeah. Yeah, um in the universe of the Santa Claus is the Fairly Odd Parents doesn't exist. Oh oh see, so that's why there's so many things that are different due to the global impact of The Fairly Odd Parents. Yes, the only the only um intellectual properties that exist in the Santa Claus universe are other Disney owned properties. So you know, there's a reference to Buzz Lightyear. There's many Star Wars references, there are many Marvel references, and I think that's brave. Yes, it was. It was a challenge given to us by the executives, and honestly they said, we well, we we did a little too much. And that made me feel really good. See I disagree. I uh, I could have used more. I heard tell that. There's a deleted scene where Scott Calvin's talking to a man in Chicago and the man says the phrase star Trek to him, and then Scott Calvin holds him against a wall and spits in his face and says, I don't know what you're fucking talking about, and then pushes him over. Is that true? That's not a scenely shot, but it is a thing that happened on a set. Okay, thank you, thank you God. These Hollywood gossap I mean and dumois, they really catch everything. It's wild. Yeah, Okay. In Chicago, Scott Calvin and his family are trying to adjust to their new lives. Sandra makes some friends. She also talks to a horse. I wanted her to have her. The girls are thriving in Chicago. Sandra is a horse girl. It was really genuinely nice to see Carol be loved, appreciated and accepted by her community again. And I just wondered as I was watching. I couldn't help but wonder, um, will this all be completely taken away from her in a matter of days? Yes, yes, it is true, and I think we all know that it is our responsibility, like we as women are here to have things taken from us. Is that good or bad? It just is just another question that the show poses. But it happens. It certainly happens. A woman's places at the pole. People have been saying that for generations. Um, okay, So yes, Sandra is making some friends. Some of them are with human girls, some of them are with horses. Cal he loves ordinary human stuff. He also has a crush on a girl from school, Carol is looking to get a job as a school principal again at a charter school, which I thought was a little fun dash of evil. M yeah, I mean, you know my kids go to charter schools. Took the lead again, me and the other some other parents in my neighborhood, mostly who wear can TV and film. We did not like that we couldn't completely control the elementary school, the public elementary school and all right, so we formed a charter school together with some of our own money and a lot of the government's money. It was pretty easy to get our hands on actually pretty much. Just our kids get to go to it. Kind of very exclusive. That's amazing and it really works for our family. Okay, okay, I guess what I'm saying is what do you mean dash of evil? Oh no, I said dash of awesome. It's the Airpots dash of awesome. And then she wants to be the principle of charter school. What a dash of awesome? Yeah, yeah, that's like it's phrases like that that I could bring the season two. That's a real dash of awesome. That's great. I love that phrase. We're going to start using it all of the time. Maybe a good episode title dash of awesome. M m are you here? I don't even know if I'm going to remember it now, don't worry. We're recording this. We're recording. Oh I forgot. I just really want to tell them that. But you know, it's kind of funny because m hates that I wanted to send the kids to a charity school. They think that's bad. So relationships are tough, you know, And that's so much of what the show is about. Whether your elves or your Scott Calvin and Mrs Claws, who gives a ship with her first name is is where the show kind of lands. Yeah, exactly, or or or you're a very special elf that we're about to get to ca. Okay, so the rest of Scott Calvin's family is thriving in their new Chicago lives, but Scott Calvin is like, wow, I guess since I'm not Santa anymore, I'm not special. And then he ends up getting a job as an Everything Now delivery driver, but then he gets fired shortly thereafter, and so he's like, oh my gosh, what do I even do with my life now? In the North Pole, Betty and Noel are trying to stop Calpenn Santa, who is just like wiling out as Santa Claus. And the elves realize that this new Santa is destroying Christmas spirit even further. And some of the elves are disappearing, either like off screen or we see some of them like vanish into thin air before our very eyes. Really cool, cg there where when an elve disappears, just stopped in place and GOLs it's all into the air. I liked that. I thought that was really cool to get to keep the kids swunging the elves to give authentically scared reactions to that. We locked them in dark rooms for a couple of days. WHOA, that's intense, so that they could experience the void they had water. Well, wait, I just want to make sure that this, Andrea, I just want to make sure everyone's taken care of. You would have their tutors go into the dark room and teach them, right, they have to go to school. It doesn't matter how much light is in the room. It's right, that's my understanding. Well, that's why we did it on the weekend. Oh and that is legal, okay, amazing. And also they learned a lot the dark the Darkness is a clever professor. Wow, thank you, Neil gay Man. Okay, the Darkness is my tutor. Loneliness can be the greatest tutor of hall. Okay, I'm good to get that tattooed on my back and posted to tumbler. Holy sh it, good stuff. Okay. So then cal penn Santa Fire's Betty. And then so she goes to the Christmas which and says, Hey, I need to get in touch with him, but not Scott Calvin, the other him. And we're like, wonder if she's talking about Bernard and guess what she is. Because the episode ends with back in Chicago, Scott is like, okay, family, let's spend Christmas together. But then time freezes and some mysterious person has come to pay Scott a visit. I'm kicking the air at this point. Who could it be? There was a moment where I knew, I knew who it was, but I was like, what if it's Neil. What if it's Neil? That would be It's not Neil upsetting. Kind of wanted it to be Neil, but I was happy it was Bernard. That would be pretty great. And you know, there were versions of the script where it was Neil as a kind of as a as a Hanukah Harry type character. The movies were brave enough to have a Jewish character, but we probably we're going to be But we got the note. We got a solid note on that from various different people above me. Um, all right, well, I was thrilled to see Bernard turn yes, and of course he could still get it after all these years. Yes, it's okay. So this is episode five now across the Yule Verse. I love that. I was like, you know, just introduce a multiverse plot at this point, might as well, I was saying to myself, And then they did. But it's but you know, I think you know that the name of that would suggest it's a multipe race, but it actually isn't at all. It actually is just a room. So what could you? Could you explain that? So? Are you Catholic? No? Thank you so much for asking. Um, No I was. I went to a Protestant Congregational church as a child and now I own one. Are you catholic, Caitlin? No, I was raised as an atheist brag. So neither of you are confirmed in the Catholic Church. That is true. We should. I think that it would be an appropriate for me to explain to you the inner workings of how this mythology works, because it's really stuff you're only supposed to know if you're confirmed in the chair shot. And my priest is already pretty mad at me about the trans stuff. I don't want him to get pissed at me about spilling the beans here too. But I think any Catholic who sees episode five of The Santa Claus Is will understand it pretty easy. Okay, okay, all right, thank you, I mean than thank you for doing that, because I like, I'm always trying to learn, and that's why I keep coming back to this franchise year after year is to learn, and that's that's really cool. I will I will say that one note we've gotten from the fans is, if Scott's the first human Santa Claus, what about the saint who became Santa the first Santa? Wasn't he human? And then people also ask, what do you mean other real beings? What were the other what does that mean? What are they? Angels? Are they? What does that term mean? They're just like general mystical creatures if they are mystical and magical. Why did there have to be multiple of them through the years? Um? Interesting? Well, these are some questions that the show does kind of answer. Right, The answer the show gives is like each Santa is there for its specific time period, but the real answer is found in the glory of perfection of the Catholic Church's mysticism and writing I see God. All right. Well, the explanation the show gives we're about to get to because what happens is this mysterious person who has showed up to visit Scott Calvin is Bernard the Elf, and the show explains why he looks to be about forty four years old, because that's how old David Crumholtz is. Uh. The explanation the show gives is that Bernard fell in love with a human woman and gave up being an immortal elf, and so that's why he has aged, but not just any human woman. Vanessa Red, I mean, I we have no choice but to you know, really be rooting for this relationship. I wish I wish that we now season two. This is a pitch. I think we should see them have sex. Oh listen, if you're watching the if you're if you're if your eyes are peeled. In the last episode, you might get a little glimpse of it in the background. I don't want to give away every Easter egg, but the scene where cal goes to the snow globe warehouse, yeah, let's just say one of those snow globes might have Bernard absolutely given it to Vanessa from the front and then the back and then in the mouth. Wow, they really found each other. I think that that is so like aspirational. It's nice, incredible, okay, And like that, Scott said, no, she's an Oscar winner, and I was like, well, I didn't know that. And I come to here to learn. I'm here to laugh, to cry, to care to learn. Wow. Okay. So Bernard is like, oh, Scott Calvin, you think it was mere coincidence that you became Santa Claus. And then he takes Scott into the Yule Verse, which we thought was a Santa multiverse. Um, but apparently that is incorrect and we won't know then unless we're Catholic. So I'm starting the process of converting to Catholicism as we speak. Um. But until then, UM, it's it's just what seems like a multiverse, and there Scott meets some of the previous Santa's, including the one he replaced, as well as Crampus and St. Nicholas himself. Uh. And it turns out that Scott becoming Santa was no accident. He was chosen as the first human Santa Claus so that he would raise a family in the North Pole and that his kids would develop magic powers question Mark, and they also would also because he could do technologies, because he because yes, because apparently the albums are really get at tech stuff. But Santa, the immortal angel creatures Santa. Yeah. And when I say apparently, I mean these are decisions we made in the room. Yeah, right, right right, and good decisions I think they are. I would call them a dash of awesome to borrow Jamie's phrase, thank you for crediting. I appreciate, of course, of course I was. And I found myself during this episode wondering what happened to the council that we met two movies in a row with the Holiday Character Council. But then, you know, by the end of the episode, I found myself thinking, and let me know if this was the intent, Grace who cares? Yeah, that's kind of where I left it. We didn't get to get into it this season, but essentially, Paganism has been defeated. By the time of the Santa Clauses series. Catholicism has one um and Mother Earth and her demon Um Cohort have died and been buried under a mountain of ice. Wow, well, thank you, thank you for that. I gotta go rewatch it again, you know, with with with fresh eyes. That's really exciting now having not that knowledge. Yeah, okay, So Scott Calvin was chosen as Santa for these incredible reasons, and then all the Santas are like, Scott, you got to go back to the North Pole and save Christmas. So he heads to the North Pole with Noel to confront Calpen Santa, who puts Scott in Santa Jail along with this elf named Gary, who is like a elf cop, Gary Grays. I gotta be honest, Gary, I was having a hard time with Gary. I and it's not the actor's fault. I blame the direction on this one, to be honest, because he's talking like they're trying to make a twelve year old talk like he's been smoking since he served in the Vietnam War, and it just like doesn't quite work. He's like Santa and he does that like for you know, for three episodes, and I was I was struggling with it, to be honest. Thanks for telling me that it's interesting here that you think it doesn't work, because it does. We'll see. I was gonna say, I do think it works, and maybe that pulls me to eleven spot again. I think you're at least neck and neck. Okay, Okay, I shouldn't have said anything, and I'm I'm so. I think it's just I let my feelings for Cruton and how fond I am of that character with three lines. But for some reason they put her name. Every time someone speaks to her, they say thanks Creuton, and she goes, no problem, has their thing? Yeah? Hers is? Her name's Cruton? Yes? Okay. So meanwhile, back in Chicago, Carol, Sandra, and Cal are also trying to get to the North Pole to help using Christmas magic. That Sandra and Cal do have a k A Sandra's ability to talk to animals, which has already been set up several times, and cows is like GPS like Cal, Cala has the ability to see the Christmas vortex. Is that allow Santa to teleport around the world. However, this is only just now established in this very moment moment, whereas Sandra's magic had been previously established, and I thought that was a really interesting creative choice as well centering women. We we we did, We did. We did say earlier in the series that cal was having weird dreams where he was Santa. Yeah. Is that the same thing as being able to see these portals? In my opinion, yes, So I just thought that was a puberty thing. I don't know, like, you know, when just gets in puberty, they started to dream about being Santa. Just felt like a normal I certainly went through that phase. Yeah, yeah, they started to dream about me and Santa. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, delivery their baggage. Okay, So yeah, don't be crude, is what I'm saying. Jab Could you not being crude about the show for a family? No, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I didn't that was crass. And I think I just got the wrong idea of the tone when the first episode was called good duh. And sometimes I just like I'm trying to figure out where the line is. Well, you know, and at least judge a TV series by the name of its episode and how the characters act and everything that happens in it. Yeah, okay, So I think we're in episode six now, which is titled a Christmas to Remember, where Scott's family shows up at the North Pole and with the help of Knowl, they break Scott out of Santa Jail. Meanwhile, Kelpenn discovers that whoever wears Santa's coat controls the North Pole, as if he didn't already control it. So Kelpen is looking for the coat. He's yelling at his daughter Grace. He's being extra scary, but the coat had run away to the Christmas Witches House and so has like a battle crawl was pretty slow to not moving very fast, kind of shocking. No one saw it, right, So Scott and his family go to look for the coat, but cal Penn has unleashed the army of toy soldiers from Santa Claus to yes, is that correct? Okay, But Carol kicks their ass, which is I guess a callback also to Santa Claus two. Well, what I what I really liked about that sequence is that she sort of what's helpful for me about episode six that as people are doing things they're stating the theme that they're addressing as they're doing it. So like Carol, you know, if if I didn't, if I wasn't told this at length, Oh I have a name now, I am annoyed. I have had it. Nice to see you again. You know. It's like I'm given all the information I need and I actually find that if that had been given to me over time, or like in a visually interesting way, I wouldn't have liked it. I like, I like the lady from Lost, just being like I know that I wanted to be a girl boss Santa, but that I was dead asked wrong. I actually don't want a career. I don't want friends. I like my life that I hated as it was exactly the same because you'll think, you know, you think, I mean, maybe this is a season two questions. If Carol stays there, she'll just forget her name again. But we don't know. Yeah, none of that's interesting to me. Um, But I was interesting was the toy soldiers. You know, I have been locked in that closet, Sant Santa Claus to you, and they're sentient, so they've just been locked in that darkness. As I said, earlier. We made all the elves who get disappeared to be locked in dark rooms for just a couple of days over the weekend. When they put two and two together and saw that that is what had been done to these soldiers, they started sweeping and crying in vomiting, and it actually lost us a couple of days of filming because of that. Wow, shout out to the reindeer named Vomit. That's a fun that's comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay. So Scott and Calpen both come across the Santa cote at the same time, but Calpen gets to it first and he's about to destroy it so as to prevent Scott Calvin from becoming Santa again. But then his daughter, Klpen's daughter Grace shows up, and now I'm just now putting together that well I'm speculating here, but Grace, did you name that character Grace after yourself? I did because my dad died. Her name is Young, and I was like, well, what if this is a version of me whose mom died? And I feel like, if my mom had died, you know, my dad would have probably not have been an alcoholic anymore. Then basically it started Amazon so that was kind of the concept of the character. Okay, so Grace the character shows up and she's like, cal Penn, you're being a really bad dad, and he's like, ah, damn, you're right, and so he kind of like concedes. But then the North Pole kind of like rumbles a little bit as if it's in danger, and so they're like, oh, gosh, we have to find the Christmas Orb and they find it, but it's completely dark now, which means that Christmas spirit has completely run out. And Scott's like, oh my gosh, this is my fault. I shouldn't have retired. I shouldn't have run away when things got a little difficult, and so he brings everyone in for a hug, his whole family, the remaining Elves and cal Penn's character and his daughter Grace, and that hug revives the Christmas spirit, and then all the Elves who had vanished reappear and Christmas is saved. But oh no, Christmas is in three hours. So Scott puts on the Santa code and becomes Santa again. But like, can we talk about that effect though, that effect where Tim Allen's face is completely still, it's not showing an emotion, but something, something happened there, something really took place. I can't really describe it, and I think some of the most beautiful things you'll see in your life you can't necessarily put into words. Yeah, exactly the words words cannot describe the absolute beauty we see during this sequence. Um. But yeah. So Scott is transformed, transformed back into Santa and he takes his whole family with him to deliver gifts around the world for all the children. And that's how season one ends. Not just any gifts, though, snow globes with the Sloes memories in them, including the one where Bernard is having sex with one kid is about to have a Does this expose magic to the world a bit? Yeah? I think maybe we'll see. We'll see in season two. But also I think that it might just suggest to these families that the Panopticon has won. So season two will have you guys seen Homeland? Yeah? Yeah, Mandy potankin season two of the Santa Claus is going to have big Homeland vibes. Nice. Oh that's so great. I just look, I just like, don't count us out. We would love to, like we get that, like this is an unconventional episode of our show. It's more of a kind of a behind the scenes promotion for aren't We you know we heard the bus because love to like promote aren't We believe in? You know, it comes down to the samples. You know, your reps are going to send your samples in and I'm going to read the first two or three pages of and a few others and we'll see which first couple of pages really hit Wow. Okay, yeah, totally. Um, well, well, look I do have a question, and it's does this pass the does this pass effective grace? Can you actually give us some insight into that. I do think, in fact, it does pass the Vectel test, maybe even a couple of times. I was getting that feeling. One specific time is does it pass the Pectel's test? When Mrs Claus is talking to like the head help and she's like, has there been a head out before? Or has there been a Mrs Claus before? And I think we only talked about Mrs I think, yeah, I love it's a good past because they're talking about how her character doesn't really exist really, which I think is fascinating. Yeah, I think I thought that was really cool. I believe it also passes between between Mrs Claws and Cruton, it does time or two Crutons, like, may I please have a hug? They also talk about monogrammed towels, and I think when Sandra talks to that one reindeer, I do think that responds that does pass the Bactel test, even though it's a male coded reindeer. But it's not. It is not a mal reindeer. Great, oh my god, but you don't know that because you didn't see the reindeer sex scene that was in there when we had that. That's sub sub subplot. Still, that's right, right, Hopefully there's a we can I mean, you can use that footage in a snow globe later, so you know, sure, no waste. Yes, I think it also passes between Sandra and the Witch actually kind of passes a lot. And then also there's an elf we haven't talked about before, the woke elf d she's a bit too woke for her own good. There's no longer a naughty list, it's the misunderstood lists. I hope everyone who watches that the show when they saw that scene, they were they were thinking the show is saying this is good. Yeah. So the show which takes a pretty hard stance against wokeness. For lack of a better term, Um thinks that that's awesome. Let me just read a couple other lines from the show and then to be clear, Grace, we are like loving. This is a list of things we left. Yeah, these are my These are the best parts of the show. When when Scott Calvin is like, we can't set dear free in cities, hipsters will just put fedoras on them. That that was really awesome. Um, someone says to Scott Calvin it might have been null. He's like, what kind of monster eats a carrot? And then Scott Calvin says hippies and vegans, hippie vegans And he says that with disgust, as he should. There's the yeah, um oh, some people might say that labeling a child as naughty just for having a temper tantrum is brat shaming. Um, and so that was another good line. Tell them there's the famously the house Christmas Spirit and Santa says, all fine, except saying Mary Christmas to all has suddenly become problematic. Yeah. So, I mean, you know, the end of the day, this country was founded on certain principles. I think we We simply strived to replicate that in our show. Sure that genuinely sounds like a Hollywood reporter headline head writer of the Santa Claus is this country was founded on certain principles, On Santa principles. It's God singular, It's God's honest truth. Oh any other any other good ones? Caitlin, Well, Um, these are just some of my favorite, just flat out jokes, because the comedy in this show is rich. Um when the elves say elves got an elf many times? Um, wait, just a taffy licking minute. I wrote that too. Oh the doctor says I have a s s a cute squawk syndrome. Um, funny, let's see. Oh, Santa says I've got the body of an mm A fighter, not an eminem eater. I also loved that you can tell Santa is doing a bad job if he gets fucking jacked. That um logic totally scanned for me. And I didn't find the clear, bizarre prosthetics that Tim Allen was wearing to make himself look jacked. I didn't find those alarming. I thought I found them uplifted and maybe even you know a few other things, But Grace said, you know it's a kids show. Well, I would say the show's whole approach to um body image and fat positivity and things like that. I would say the show is handling all these things very very well and responsibly in almost every episode. I would say that, yeah, yeah, it comes up in every episode and it always goes well, and it always is really good and awesome. Yeah wow, I simply goodness for a better Christmas present that makes two good friends, Jamie and Caitlin going through all of the best jokes from my big television show. Hey wait, just a tab you like in minute, which is going to be an issue because if if M doesn't, if I, if I don't get a better present from my partner on actual Christmas, I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking I'm gonna yell. I'm gonna be so I'm gonna be so mad. Don't Yeah, I don't want that. You've said that, You've set the bar so high. I just don't know if they'll be able to jump over it. If you could just like not let M know that we had this conversation. Okay, I'm not okay, I won't yell, but I'm not I can't stop myself from crying. And that's involuntary. Okay, okay, okay, See that's maybe. And I hope that we do get more crying in Santa Claus's season two. Yeah, I really do. I hope we get Neil in season two. I'm crossing my fingers for Neil and Linda if we're lucky. Was her name, Linda? Am I remembering that correctly? Oh? His ex wife? His ex wife. I don't think I would give her a name on our show. Oh yeah, take it away, So I kind of yeah, she divorced Santa. Yeah, Neil heads. I think if if Judge, Judge, Judge Reinholt you found it and in his heart to apologize to Tim Allen for voting for Obama in then we might get a little bit of a Neil city next season. And I hope that he apologizes. And if if, if, if Tim's reputation is as I believe it is, He's going to make Judge apologize in canonically on camera for doing that. I think, So I think, so, yeah, I wonder, I wonder. I mean Tim must have been given Calpen a hard time, real hard time, which might have been one of the reasons why Cal again try to assassinate him number of times the drama. God, I mean, Caitlyn, I know you have you to go relatively soon, right, that's true. Okay, Look, I mean does anyone else have final sort of notes to make on this because it's like, I mean, I could, I could keep going. I have time to give a nipple grade, right, yeah, I think so. I'm giving this show that I'm ten nips out of ten. Wow, there's only five, but I think that feels it feels right. I'm gonna give it ten as well. Oh okay, well, since my candidacy as a staff writer on season two of the Santa Clauses is at stake, I will also be giving it ten out of ten nipples because that's famously our scale act on the same page. And that's why I feel like kish, look here, let me just pay one last compliment to the show. I really thought, and we we already hinted at this, but I thought the characterization of of Mrs Claws of Carol and her inner struggle of oh who am I I've lost my identity because I've just kind of been wrapped so wrapped up as Mrs Claus and I and were there even Clauses before me? You know, she's doing some investigating, she's she's active in the pursuit of knowledge. She doesn't like how Mrs Clauses have been perceived in the past. She's like, what, somehow I'm humorless while still providing comic relief. And providing comic relief is famously Mrs Claus's role there, so that all makes sense. But you know, she just doesn't like that she's this underappreciated, uh figure in Christmas lore. And then she's like, you know what, I'm gonna take this opportunity to be a school principal again. And then that which she was happy doing before she met Scott, right, And but then she realizes, wait a minute, I shouldn't have a job or an identity of my own because I'm Santa's wife wife and she and that's good. One thing that was really cool in terms of just like not doing the obvious thing was like, okay, you have Mrs Claws and you have this Christmas which right, and and they're both judged pretty harshly based on old gender tropes, and I thought, maybe they'll talk about this, but then they never talked to each other once and there's actually a couple that I think at the climactic scene, they're standing next to each other, but they never speak. And I thought that there restraint was really cool. I thought it was awesome. That would have just taken up unnecessary space in the show. We don't need to be well, it's more so that we wanted to make a commentary on well, wanted to comment on how maybe women should be more active in freeing themselves of these bad things. And it was a choice for them not to talk to each other and maybe, you know, maybe that's on them, that's on them. Yeah, absolutely, they should have leaned in harder. Well, yeah, watch the Santa Clauss everybody. It's on Disney Plus. Now. There's gonna be a season two if TV still exists next year, So that's gonna rock. Wow. Is there anything else you would like to plug? Grace? Yeah, Girl Guy is my comedy duo with April Clark and we we've got a like. I don't know, follow me on Twitter if that's still a thing. I don't even I don't know how to promote things right now. Oh, we're gonna be in Vancouver in February. Are you gonna be at JFL. No, I don't get invited to things like that. Um, but I'll just be there hanging out doing some shows. Hell yeah, Well we're reachout rand Kouver so that'll be fine. And and we're also going to be at the Kennedy Center on like February eleventh, I think in d C. And then we can we got this big other thing happened in after that, and uh yeah, you know, be able to look out for that. But every baby, Yeah, thank you for having me, guys. Oh my gosh, thanks, I'm so glad we'll have a whole another season to talk about. It is starting to feel like, I mean, like, what's the word for a good curse? Is it just a tradition? I think so called medal game it earlier on the darkness? Is my mentor what's the word for a good curse? You set? Yeah, imagine if I had a bird head and then that would be really fucking profound wow. And then I mean you can catch Jamie and I fingers crossed as writers on season two of The Santa Clauses. You can also um follow us on social media at back to Cast, Come see us on tour, see us on tour on the West coast. We're gonna be in l A, San Francisco at sketch Fest, and we'll be in Portland and Seattle. You can still get some tickets, although they're running rather low. Sorry, act fast, y'all. And then we've also got our Matreon at patreon dot com. Slash packelecast to bonus episodes every single month, plus access to the back catalog for five American dollars a month. Oh, I just wanted to say to that the star of the scene to clauses himself, Tim Allen, is on Twitter. Do not please don't follow him, Please don't follow time, please start of check that out. He's only got bad ideas. No, he's got good ideas. I didn't say you had bad ideas. Listen to this, don't go check him out, no problem, thank you look good ideas such as uh what is it? Smorl Marl Marks Wikipedia, communism, Carl Marks Wikipedia. If you say that over and over and over, fast and faster and faster and faster, or you will start to float off the ground like Scott Calvin does when he's good to hell, Yeah, and it's as hell it's well another perfect also our Public store is at t public dot com. Slash the Bechtel Cast and there's some new designs that Jamie design, So scoot over there, check those out, grab some shirts and some pillows and whatnot, and hey, we'll see you in the new year. Well, you'll be back next year, whether you like it or not. I am I my. We we forge our chains in life like the stand we wear the change with forge in life her degree. Alright on that day, very Christmas to all. No, that's problematic. He can't say that anymore. Grace your Casin's greeting. Happy holiday, Okay, bye bye bye
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