Exclusive: Bachelor Matt James Is Here!

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of a Bachelor Happy Hour, and of course we bring you a new week, new drama, and a lot went down, and while of course we love to recap Rachel, we have somebody very special joining us on the podcast today, which is the most eligible Bachelor himself. Of course, we had to get Matt James on here, and if you can hear Minnow in the background, she is She's got the squeaker toy rity. She's ready to awesome Matt. We all do it. Yeah, but before we do, because I know all of you have just been anticipating us finally sitting down and chatting with him. And thankfully to anyone who submitted questions, we so appreciate that. I just wanted to take two seconds to acknowledge that, yes, it is Tuesday, We've already seen two episodes of The Bachelor air. But I don't want to undermine the fact that a lot has happened in our country in the past week, and so we want to acknowledge it here and to give our thoughts and prayers to everyone affected with the protests and the riots and the terrorist acts that happened at the capitol last week. Rachel I know, I'm sure you'll go into depth on some of your other podcasts about it, but we don't want to, you know, breeze over the fact that there's a lot of heaviness happening in our country and it's so important to now more than ever, band together and really remember what our country stands for, which is something that we haven't necessarily seen a lot of in this past especially past year. So you know, our thoughts and prayers again are to the families and people affected within that. But hopefully this can be a nice outlet for everybody and we'll just get into the show and have a lighthearted, fun conversation with each other. And with bringing Matt on, absolutely I very well setback. The only thing I would add is, you guys, what we've seen transpire in twenty twenty one up, which we were quickly reminded, is just another date on the calend. Everything didn't get left in twenty twenty. You know, ask yourself, is this the America that we want? What does America mean to you? It truly cannot mean what we saw transpire in a historic way last week at our nation's capital. So it's crazy because last week we said, you know, what let's all just be better. Well, that message carries into this podcast. Let's let's just be better, guys, let's just do better. Let's hold people accountable, and let's bring this nation back to what it once was. The phrase United we Stand doesn't seem right right now, so let's let's find our way back to it. Let's let's get back there. Yes, and speaking of getting back, let's get back to the Bachelor talk. Because we originally were like, you know what, we're gonna do a whole recap, We're gonna break down this episode. But why break down the episode when you have the man of the hour, So let's just get right to it. You guys have heard from matches, probably on someone's in someone's magazine or someone's media outlet. But let me remind you those are five to ten minute interviews, not even ten. I know I do them. I had to do one for extra. We have Matt for an hour plus, which means we get to delve into all those questions that you may have, and Matt has the opportunity to ask answer those questions. I need to see down right now, minnow, is everybody right now? Minto's bastination mento I get it. I'm gonna get right to it. That's mental telling me we gotta hurry up and go. She's the vibr guys, You guys, Mento is the VI. We've got the man himself. We've got him at great length where he can talk to us and, as I said, delve into everything we want to know about who he is, who these women are, how he got here, and kind of what to expect this season. So this is the moment you've been waiting for. We have our current first Black Bachelor matchings. Well, Matt, we finally have you on probably one of the most anticipated interviews we've had everyone sliding into our DMS four. So welcome to Happy We're so happy to have you here. Yeah, Hey, Rachel, Hey Becca, thank you for having me. It's good to be here, of course. Yeah. So, um, I feel like it's been odd with you, right because you were announced in June. We never get this much notice of a lead coming. You're announced in June. We're quarantining that you had to watch two other seasons. I mean, we didn't know it's going to be two seasons, but it turned out to be two seasons with Claar and Tatia. Actually you probably were already gone during Tatia's but still, yeah, two bachelorets come through. Now it's used. So now that it's your seasons finally airing, we're meeting the women that you get to potentially find a wife in. How does it feel so real? It's weird hearing myself on TV, you know, because I sound like a robot and I sound like a cartoon character. So's it's been. It's like kind of cringey to watch back, but it's exciting to share that experience with like my friends and family, you know. So that's that's been a good part. I want to know because, like Rachel said, usually when anyone has announced as the lead, they literally get their phone taken away and they go straight into filming for the season, filming for their promos and all the photo shoots, all that fun stuff. But you did have extra time, so that time when you were announced to when you actually left for Knemicle and in filming, what was that like? Like did you try to kind of lay low and stay out of the dms, off of social or like were you taking it all in and like soaking it all in? No, I thank goodness, I was. I was in Florida with Tyler quarantining, so like, and he someone who who's already been through the process, like he was on Handed Brown season, so like, I kind of already got the dudes and don't. So it was nice being with him, and we just kept our schedule. You know, we wake up, we're go on our bike rides near the beach, work out. Just like enjoy being with my with and around my friends and like enjoying like a peaceful quarantine. So it was business as usual, post social media videos create create a whole page. Come on, Matt saw with sun And that was before you said what I do after that stuff was already going on. I guess that was kind of before. Yeah, I didn't let it. Like again, we were just trying to find ways to entertain ourselves and not go crazy like everybody else. And that's a lot of what we were doing, just having fun at the house and um again, trying to be safe and not not go crazy. I step out, not get caught up. That's listen, that's a feat. I don't know if I would have been able to do it. I'm just gonna be honest with you. You want me to stay stay on the straight narrow for that. It's it's it's honestly not. It's difficult when you got a good support system. But like if I was by myself, that's when things get tricky because you don't have someone telling you know, and you can get persuaded to go places like you might take an impromptu trip to Miami to do something foolish like. So it was nice having him there. Jupiter has a bunch of stuff to do. We're on the boat like we were doing say, fun activities and just chilling. Y'all invited me to come to the boat we were trying to I was invited. I was in Florida, Becca, I lived like an hour away. I can't ask you this too. Um. I want to talk about like quarantine though, because one of the things that you were involved with the quarantine was the protest and we talked about that. Um, you know, I was in Florida, I was protesting it. Well we didn't as well, we didn't get the chance to do it together. But can you talk about why it was so important for you to protest this summer? A thousand percent? I think it was important for me because uh, and it's silly that I even have to address this that like, people think that because my mom's white, that I don't associate with being black, And my experience has been as a black man, like my skin's black. I don't wear a name tag or a resume carry around with me that my mom's white, like I'm a black man, and so like, I thought that it was important to let people know that that's how I feel, and that's how I represent myself, and that's I'm going to stand with my people with what they're going through, and it's important to me. And not only was it important to me, but it was important to my friends, and they wanted to support me with that because they grew up in and around black people and this is their time to figure out how they can. Everyone's always ask what can I do? Support? Support, Come march, like, come see what it's about. And so Tyler came with me and a handful of my other friends and we went to a peaceful protest and it was incredible for them to see that and hear people's stories, hear what people are upset about. Here people talk about things from an educated standpoint, and that's why we can speak on what happened yesterday at the Capital, and we have that perspective of what it looks like to peacefully protests and what our experience has been like opposed to see and that having yesterday and see that they were treated differently than people who were treated that were protesting peacefully with us in Florida and other cities across the country. So it was it was empowering, Rachel, and it's it's something that I'll be able to tell my kids about and something that I feel comfortable speaking about now because it's it's a part of who I am and I was a part of that process. I want to follow up to that question too, because obviously, like it's no surprise, this is probably one of the most historic seasons that we've had on this show because you are indeed the first black Bachelor, and you know, we saw you during the premiere and throughout you know, last night's episode as well, kind of talking about this this responsibility of this role that you're taking on. So what does it mean to you truly being the first black Bachelor and has had changed since you said yes to taking on that role versus now when you're done filming? Right? Um, I think that that's two things for me. It's what it means to me is I can only speak on my experience and what I've been through. And I am black, but I'm also mixed, you know what I mean. My mom's white and my dad's black, so my experience isn't going to be everyone else's experience. And I speak to that because I know that when people watch me, regardless of if I want to admit it or not, like they're gonna look at me as that is how like, Oh, that's that's what that's how black people act, Like Oh that's what a black relationship looks like, or like why did he do that? To all black people do that? And like that was a big pressure that I put on myself when I first got there, because I just felt this responsibility that I've got to make everybody proud. But at the end of the day, all I can do is represent how I was raised and who I am, and I think I did that, And that conversation comes up a handful of times throughout the season, as it should, because it's important and regardless of what you look like, if you're black, if you're Asian, if you're white, Like my goal is to get married, and marriage comes kids, and our kids are gonna have some sort of pigmentation. So it's something that we need to cover because our kids are going to go through what I've been through, and it's something that we need to address going into the relationship so that when we get to that point, it's not this like big conversation. It should be something that we've talked about throughout the course of our relationship. And yeah, you yeah, yeah. I was just gonna say, like, without you know, giving names and too many details, a why do you feel like throughout that entire season you did have those conversations with the women that you formed really really strong connections with them that you were with towards the end. Is that something that will I'm hoping that we'll be able to see. Yeah, we definitely had those conversations because it was important to me to have them because that's where we're at as a country and that's what we're going to deal with in a relationship. And that's not a conversation I've had in a relationship because up until this point, I wasn't ready for what I stepped into, which was to be engaged, to be married and knowing what I knowing what I was stepping into. I wanted to make sure that I was having all the conversations I would want to have with somebody who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And one of the major ones is going to be race diversity, what our kids are going to look like, what you're going to go through being with me, what my experience has been like in the whole gaming of that conversation. I think it's interesting because because of what has come to being a black person. You've always been privy to it because being black, but because of what's coming out in twenty twenty, a lot of people are recognizing things about themselves. Let me be more specific, White people are recognizing things about themselves that they hadn't before, like the word privilege, realizing that there's so many layers in depth to that. So it'll be it's interesting. I think it's even more difficult. You're already it's already difficult for you to go through this season. Being a first period, no matter what you look like, is difficult. Now you're the first black bachelor. That's a whole other level. There's certain stereotypes that are placed on a black man that aren't placed on a black woman that you're going to have to navigate as you go through your season that I didn't. Now we're doing this all in twenty twenty with an administration that is bringing other things to light, where racism is more overt than it ever has been before, and we're discovering past and certain behaviors about certain people that maybe they didn't even recognize about themselves. It's okay, I'm going on a soapbox, but here's the real thing. I want to talk about the conversation that you had with Chris Hairs. Let's get into it. Because a lot a lot of people were upset, and once again I'm going to be specific when I say people, I mean black folks were upset. And I'm very empathetic to you, Matt, because I have been in your shoes and I know the pressure that you feel, and I know the bias that people place on you, and I know how you are going to get a lot of unfair criticism and it's not fair, and with you, it's going to be even harder or even more criticism. Because I was the first and ality came through. People had no idea what I was going to do. I didn't choose somebody who was black. Then Tatia comes, she doesn't choose someone who's black. So people are putting more pressure on you to choose someone who looks like you, to choose someone to not follow in the footsteps of the two other people of color the over leads or and are assuming that you will do exactly what we do. So there's a lot even more placed on you that I recognize. So you and Chris Harrison have this calm versation. I didn't like it either, I'll be honest, and this isn't a knock to you. It was the presentation of the entire conversation. It was setting the stage. You're standing up there about to meet these women, and before you can meet on one of them, you would call chrisen to have this conversation. Now we know it was already fully candily lit with two chairs properly placed in the room, so we know it is what it is. But then you proceed to tell Chris Harrison about the pressure that you feel, and the focus of the conversation was the pressure you feel of who you have to choose and how you feel pressure to choose a specific person and a lot of people took that as because of how it was presented to them. Oh, he wants to let everybody know that before I meet these women, I need to let you know that I may not choose somebody who you want me to choose. And a lot of people, because of all the bias that are already placed on you, which is so unfair, people assumed that that was a disclaimer that you were not going to pick a woman of color. Now, I am sure that conversation was a lot longer than what we saw. So I want to give you the opportunity to provide context to what it is that you were saying when you were sitting down with Chris right, so, and and it's it's it's it's low key frustrating to even have to address it because like right, like, first off, people should, regardless of what they what they looked like, should want you to be happy with whoever you're with, and like and and if you knew anything about me, if you were close to me, you would know that the last women that I dated were all black women. And when you're dating somebody, if you're excluding a race, then that that like, I don't even I don't even know where to begin on that, Like, how can like my love story included like you saw a night one white women there, there's Black women there, there's Asian women there, because those are the women that I've dated across the board, and what I'm looking for in a women isn't ray specific. And the conversation to have with Chris, I feel like, first of all, I respect Christopher for seven into that because it was the start of the conversation. Like you can't get to a conclusion, you can't get to that, you can't get to a resolution without starting that conversation. And it's just happened to be Chris and me having that conversation. And I don't think it's on me to explain why that hasn't been the case in the past. I can only speak to my experience and what I'm looking for, and what I'm looking for may upset somebody because what I'm looking for isn't a race, you know what I mean. It's like I don't only exclusively date black women, I don't only exclusively date white women. I've dated all across the board, and I've found redeeming qualities in everybody, which is a blessing and That's why it's so difficult for me throughout the season, because there's great qualities. I love an Abigail, there's a great qualities in Kala, there's a great qualities in Maggie. And they all look different. And I'm trying to explain that Chris as best I can and to everybody else. Tune an in because that might not be everyone everyone else's experience like being mixed, like m talk about that so being mixed, like I do holidays with my mom, I'll do holidays with my dad. I never saw color like for me and their relationship. It wasn't it wasn't like there was never like it's hard for me to fathom. It's like it would be like me quantifying infinity, like I can't. I can't articulate what that means to only date or only look at and refer to someone in color, because that's not been my experience. When you talk about those pressures, and I think this is where I feel like the audience wasn't fair to you. It's and this is why I just hated the whole setup of the conversation, because the pressure isn't just about who you pick. What people don't realize is there are so many other pressures put on you, and I'll and I'll like speak to one of them, you as being biracial. And that's why I was like, speak on that, because you're not just representing yourself as a black man, you're also representing yourself as a biracial man. And that's a whole another way to walk through life because you're just not one race and we constantly I'm not biracial, But I dealt with this criticism and I know you do too of am I gonna be too black in some circles? Or am I gonna be not black enough in others? Is that some of the pressure that you were talking about as well? It's and I don't even honestly see it as a pressure anymore as to see it as a reality. And honestly, you see that, and you see it during the protest, it's like like uh, like oh you're pro Like like oh you're like who you like? What sorry are you on? It's like what are you talking about? Like I'm about the people, I'm about I'm about change, I'm about equality, like like you see me out here, and then it's like like like like what do I have to do to prove myself to you. Like, I'm not trying to prove myself. I'm just living out who I am, and and it's on other people who that's not comfortable with because it's different to them. So like I'm hoping that through them seeing how I handle my business on the show and how I go about my normal life, it makes them comfortable with someone who looks like me being in their living room every Monday, and someone who looks like me being more approachable to them in the grocery store or dating their daughter or their son or whatever. And that's kind of the pressure, if you want to call it, that I put on myself being in that position because you and Taia paid the way for someone like me to be in this position. So like I feel like it's I owe it to everyone else who looks like me to represent black people in a way that is going to allow for more opportunities like this, because if I go up there acting a fool, all right, like this is why we haven't had But that's not the case. Like, I'm just like everybody else, and I'm hoping that that comes out through the season, and it's not like like like for instance, we don't refer to like Serena Williams as a great black tennis player. She's a great tennis player. But like I'm hoping that like ten years from now, if I was a bachelor, that was a great bachelor. He just happens to be black, you know what I mean, and like normalize something like this. So did you want any point throughout your season? And I'm sure it's different for you because you're the first person also to have never done this before. You know, this was like your first time being miked up and standing and meeting all the women and going through the interviews all at the same time as all the contestants. So you felt pressure from all sides in regards to the way you look, in regards to that this is your first time doing this. So did you ever feel that pressure subside throughout the season where you got a little bit more comfortable with yourself, with Chris, with the women, or did you still always feel that till the end and maybe feeling now as well. Hell yeah, I felt way comfortable halfway through, like because it's it's draining to like try to be perfect because you can't be perfect, And like those first few days with the women. I'm trying to say all the right things. I'm trying to be articulate, like I'm myself, like I have a hard time reading sometimes, you know what I mean, I stutter like like I get nervous. So like when I stopped worrying about how people were gonna portray me and precede me and think about what I said, like, it was liberating because I was able to be myself and that came through to these women and they were able to open up and be more comfortable around me because like, oh yeah, he's he's just like I am, Like he's freaking shaken right now. He's nervous and like, so I guess, like to answer your question, like I just stopped caring about how I was going to be perceived by people because I am who I am, Like my thoughts aren't gonna be like like I'm not gonna come up with this like crazy thought out of left field, Like I'm just going to tell you how I feel at the moment, and like that's who I am. You will kill yourself trying to be please everyone. It's just impossible, yeah, right, And I and I will say this is something that I mentioned to Rachel on last week's podcast when we were covering the premiere is we both mentioned how endearing it was that you had never gone through this before, because you you know, sometimes when you know what to expect, you go into it, you know, knowing the right things to say and how to act, and if something happens, okay, you know the producers are going to be there to help you and you know, build you up and make you look good. And it was it was fun as a viewer who truly like, this is the first season where I really have no idea what's going on or like you know, any spoilers whatsoever. And so it's been endearing and fun to watch you navigated really in your own way and make it so unique to you. And so I just want to say that, you know, at the top of this time, and I know we've been talking for a little bit, but to let you know that I'm sure it was nerve wracking and you did feel that pressure, but I think for a lot of people, they actually really enjoy the fact that that this is your first time, this is your first go at this. Thank you. Yeah. No, I I legitimately didn't know what to expect, like that first Rose ceremony, like I literally couldn't speak, Like I couldn't get words out because I was so nervous and I felt horrible sending great women home that I didn't have a chance to speak to, you know what I mean. It's like like I felt so bad and that was real, and everything I felt throughout that whole process was real because like I didn't know, like I didn't know how the dynamics of a group they were, or how after a party or a cocktail hour work, like like things were happening in real time and I'm just dealing with them like some random dude off the street, Like yo, go in there and do this, and like that's how I was like kind of handling every situation. So I felt like I could relate to the women from a standpoint of like, look, we're going through this together, Like I I don't know what to expect, like I'm but what I can do is be my authentic self and be vulnerable with you, so that that opens up and sets the stage in the floor for you to be open and vulnerable, because if we're here, we might as well go for it, you know what I mean. Like I'm not gonna waste your time. I'm gonna meet you where you're at. And that's what I tried to do. I appreciate that, you know, be unapologetically yourself like Becca and I said, And Becca just told you it was endearing that you were nervous. You could tell, but it was like, oh, he's not out here trying to be the next a batchelor. He saw before, you know. And so I want to talk about your first night. I want to step into that and once this is what I mean about. You can't please everybody. Ooh, people, you do something we've never seen before, which personally I loved you open up in prayer and you didn't just start praying. You didn't order people to clasp their hands together and close their eyes and bow their heads. You explain what you do. I'm nervous, and this is what I do, and I lean on because guess what, I'm the bachelor. Y'all almost said I'm the MS bachelor. I have cleaned it up. I'm the bachelor. I am looking for a wife. It is important that we're on the same page. We don't need to wait till the last minute to find out things about each other. My faith is important to me. This is what I do. So I am going to open up in prayer. You know, it's like participate if you if you want to. Are you shocked that people were offended by the fact that you opened up your opening speech was a prayer, No, I'm not. You know every people are are are sensitive and and I'll say this like that, that's the least of a gesture I could do for someone who sacrificed their life for me. So like if if praying for and for a group of women is ever a bad thing, that I don't want to be a part of of what's good because that's that's that's where my piece comes from. That's where my values and what I believe in comes from. And I'll never that being said, I'll never force it on anybody because guess what, My brother's an atheist and I would die for him, and you'll see that throughout the season like I would never I'm not gonna push religion on anybody because guess what, you can't You can't push anything on anybody. He's gonna do what they want to do. At the end of the day. All I can do is show them where I get my strength from. And show them that where I go to and my tnue of like darrests and sorrow, so that you understand where I'm coming from and you see where my decision making comes from. Because if you see me doing something, I don't want you to ever be a question where it's coming from, because it's going to align with my views and beliefs. And like that being said, if that's not something you're comfortable with, then like then we're just not meant to be with each other. But like I would never ostracize and for not being and sharing my faith. But I hope that through the way I lived my life and caring myself, they'd be curious as to why I am that way, you know what I mean? Come on, Matthew, as I love to point out Rebecca Rachel and Matthew, did you? I want to know this too, because I feel like it could be in that setting very telling of who is into that and who is recurprocating, you know, on the level of faith. So did you? I mean, obviously there's probably a ton of emotions going through your body, and if it was me, I probably would have blacked out the second I entered the room when there was like thirty plus men in front of me. I was like, oh my god, I don't know what I'm saying. I don't know where am I what is my name? But did you was it a way for you to kind of pick up on who appreciated that, who was like giving you like the compassion and the faith and the love back To be honest, I do not eat it. I wasn't even about that like I was. I was, literally, like you said, Becca, when I walked in there, I had I had six months to think about what I was gonna say to these women. So I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna go in there. I'm gonna kill it. I'm like barely making it in there, like I'm shaking, like and then I see all the women in there. I had nothing, There was nothing in my head. There was nothing to say. My man, I don't know what to say. Let me pray real quick. And then that just like center me, got me back on track. And and and that's something that like it should be like when someone says they're gonna pray for you, like that's an honor, Like why should it only be someone's gonna pray for you? It's like, Yo, I heard your dad's in the hospital, Like I'm gonna pray for you, you know, I heard like praying for someone's Like that's a blessing to have someone praying for you. That means they're thinking about you, that care about you. Like I care about all the women that were there, and I want them to have I want them to be at peace, because if you're not comfortable in that setting, then I'm not We're not gonna get to know each other. Like if you're nervous, if you're like thinking that I'm some like person that's unobtainable, or that I'm like this figurehead, Like I want you to see me as like one of y'all, and like I'll just like try to humanize myself as much as I could, whether it was off I'm rest saying some gooviy shit to him, or whether it was like just being like my authentic self, Like I wanted them to see me as Matt, not the Bachelor, so that we could get past all the bull and get into the real stuff of like are we compatible? Like like what are you? What are you looking for? Like can that? Can I be that person? Because like as much as as much as like they're on the bachelor, like I'm convincing them that, like I'm the I could be the man. Yeah, so you probably, out of anyone other than I would say maybe Claire as the lead, had the most time to prepare for this role. And I want to know to this is two our question. First, what did you do mentally, mentally, physically, emotionally to help you prepare? And then what was it like once you were at the bouche or in front of all these women when they literally look at you like this god, where you know you can do no wrong and you're handsome and you're charming and your the world's or the country's most eligible bachelor. What was like that? What was that like for you personally? Because for me, I felt very uncomfortable by it. So I want to know kind of if you felt similar a little bit different, if you soaked it in, if you loved it. Um. But first, how did you prepare? Um? That's a funny question because, uh, Mike Johnson had actually come up to stay with Tyler and I in New York and this wasn't like January before I knew I was going to be on the Bachelorette, But there was the opportunity and um, he saw me getting out of shower and I had to I just had I just had a robe on. I just had a towel on. And he's like, uh, He's like, you gotta put some weight on, homey. He's like, your neck is so skinny and you gotta He was just like he was basically saying that he was just giving me the hardest times, like you need to hit the gym, you need to do this and that, and I was like looking at myself up like damn, and that week, so like I just started working out a little bit more and um, honestly, like not to be repentant, but like I was just in the words, like I was like reading my Bible and preparing myself for like to be around those women, because I wanted to have a strong mind and I wanted to make sure that like I was spiously and physically mentally ready for just like asking someone like how do you prepare to fly a rocket ship? It's like, I don't know anyone that's flowing a rocket ship, And when I get there, I'm gonna figure it out. So as I got there, I'm like starting to understand. Because I came to Rachel, I came to you. I came to Sean Lowe asking questions about what to expect, and it's all good advice, but like nothing can prepare you for me. Nothing in there and you see all those women, or when you're having an extremely difficult conversation with somebody that you know is going to go home and it's like it's hard, like aren't you shocked? Weren't you shocked that because you kind of waltz in and you're like, oh, if I'm not really feeling them, must in them home and it's okay, but then like it breaks you. How to Sydney Cevil home? Are you surprised? And speak? I couldn't get it? But I couldn't. I couldn't do it. Like it's a testament to the women that were there, like they're just there were great women, Like I didn't think women like that were single, And as I'm getting to know them their story when they overcome while they're there, I'm just like, how am I going to come out of this with with one woman? Like this is going to be so difficult? Um so, and and to your point, bec like I tried to just like continue to humanize myself, like I just like tell them funny stories or just like just like joke with them, like off camera, just so they didn't look at me as like it's like important person. I'm just normal. I just happen to have a tuto, you know what I mean. Like, so let's get into the women. So we've met the women. Now, we've seen two episodes. You've experienced the whole season, but off the off the job. Who was your favorite Limo entrance? Um, that's a good question. Um, To be honest with you, I was low key disappointed with MJ's entrance only because I thought there was gonna be pizza in that box, and the box is empty. There was no pizza in there. I was hungry too, because it's like one of the morning Yeah, but you got a mute ball from somebody. I got a meat ball. I was nasty. That was the biggest meat ball I've ever seen in my life. That it was funny though, because like I enjoyed everybody's because it showed me a little bit about themselves, you know what I mean, Like if you came and you had some goat feet on, like you're bold, Like if you came, she's my favorite. She was, And then you sent her home, Matt Hey, it's like, it's like, you want, how do you It's it's splitting hair. Tell the truth. Her feet were the most interesting thing about her that night, and that's why you had to send her. She took those shoes off, put on hills and he was like, oh, you gotta go. There was there anyone who because we all have done this, especially when you have so many people that you're meeting and kind of throwing themselves at you in such a short amount of time, it's this. I don't want this to sound bad, but it's kind of easy to write some of them off. So was there anyone that at first year maybe not my type or not into it, but then they pleasantly surprised you later on? Yes, can we get names? Of course, I'll give your name, Bob, I give you. I'm gonna practice it with only because that said person was so shy that when I actually sat down and had a conversation with her, I was blown away. But Matt, you dodged the question who was your favorite Limo interests kid? Keep in touch? Just short sweeten to the Paul because because she pulled up in a Bentley, she pulled up in a bailey and her dress was beautiful. She was so confident when she walked up and walked up to me, like game, you like look like she could have like she like kind of like dismissed our entrance. She's just like, like, my name is Kid, like Keith in touch, I didn't even get the same thing. She was like up the stairs like, I'm like, oh you like the word to get Kids said I live here? Oh would you like the kid I live here? They were playing The Glamorous Life in the background. When she rolled up. She said, oh, oh, thank you. You know, nice to meet you. But let me go ahead and side. I got bed advibes from Kid. We all know how I love benness, so I love this. I already loved Kid. I already said she was one of my favorites. Love Kid. She is incredible. Like she she's so she had so much depth to her and the fact that she's one of the youngest people there is says a lot. There's a good track record with the baby Becca was what she was called, but she's there's nothing baby about her. Beca Martinez was one of my favorites on my season of the Bachelor. It was Krine, who was a fan favorite. And every season we've tried, we've seen women try to be her Victoria and fell miserably, fell miserably. If you're gonna be a villain, you gotta be funny. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, we haven't seen it yet. Oh gosh, we haven't seen it. She is one of the wittiest people I've ever met. Man that we haven't seen it. That's that's that's what I thought. Katie the Vibrator was pretty witty. She's funny. Katie is funny too. But Victoria, like she is unapologetically herself, Like she like I believe that. Like she's the quickest, Like you'll say something and she's got some and then she's out. I'm like, what, Like what do you say? Okay, Matt, I want to go. I want to ask another two part question. So for Night one, obviously we saw you give Abigail the first impressure rose and you had the sweet moment where you kissed her. How many girls night? When did you kiss oh Um too? And you saw all them, You saw Alna with the spaghetti, there was Hella cold and then yeah, I want to talk to you about that. And then um Abigail. So another thing black folks were talking about is that you ate the spaghetti. And you know, we don't eat other people's food unless we know what that kitchen looks like people on every day. That was going through my head when I hate it, I'm like, yo, I just ate this. I want to do it too. You had you had anything all the time, I couldn't be ruing, But man, you would hand bag. He has to. You're playing the game. Joy. I couldn't deny the bell. That's so funny, Like we would die. I was like, you know, if we we gotta see where we got to know what your kids. It looks like we can't eat your food from anywhere. You know. She did not make those noodles herself. They didn't look like it. They didn't They didn't have butter olive oil. Nothing. You couldn't tell. Oh, I was gonna say something about the first night at the first date. I know, I'm gonna just go dive into episode two. I have this question now, be honest, all right, That orchid is part of the art set, That orchid is part of the design of the room. Question. It was in my notes. It was not that that flower was very hard to come across. It was Maryland's favorite hour, and I had to go to great length to obtain that it was over the river and through the woods. I had to go said, look at this shit. Matt went and got a prop from the art department. I was. I was. It was the funniest moment of the whole episode to me. He said, look what I've got you, I said, Matt, I was dying, laughing, laughing, Okay, it was. It was sweet. I feel I feel bad for her. I did have one question for your first one on one date. You go a TV, but then you have to chop your own wood for this hot tub. Why was the ax Either you're really big or that axe was so damn small. It looks like a like a miniature little axe in this like a giant's hands. All right, Well, first of all, disclaimer, Before I took my shirt off on this chopping wood, I hit like one hundred and fifty push ups because I knew that I was gonna be cholding woods. I felt, well, okay, yeah, so I was feeling a little bigger than I was, and they give you us baby axe. That axe also was about as big as my hand was so small, a little hatchet, but so funny and low key. That took me about six hits to get into that wood. It's not easy. I that was not the first thing. That took about six drows now that I figured, I was more disappointed that you took off your shirt and you're like ripped and you know, old Johnny apple Seed, you know, about to cut the wood, and poor Bree was just standing there money. I said, can we get her a towel? Can we wipe her? Dash? The beautiful girl? And we're gonna give math this glorifiding moment. And and then they go, they show it to break and it's just sitting there, but they couldn't. She looks pretty in the mound. I meant, is beautiful, and if that interview would have been done after the hot tip that she would have been very clean. But at long shirt on. So, Matt, you had some like your cast is studying. Yeah, they're beautiful studying. That's what I was telling you earlier. I felt like the women who were there aren't typically the ones who were single like I was. I felt unworthy every time I went on a one on one, every time I had a conversation because they're just talking about oh yeah, I'm I'm a lawyer, and I oh yeah I do. I'm like, yeah, did you know did you ever get a vibe? Because I definitely got this vibe from some guys on my season where I was like, they are not here for me, They're not into me, They are only here to build their following and their fame. Did you get that vibe about some of these women? Um? I try to get verybody to benefits and doubt because like at this point, I still don't know like who you are, Like I'm trying to get to know you, and like I crossed night one off because it's like like everyone's got those jitters. I'm assuming that that's like like I'm like, okay, now everyone settled in like and even into the house, Like I'm going to really get to see like what these women are about. So like I still don't even know that, but like if they are, then I mean I all I can be is myself. I can't hold that against anybody, like, and that that will work itself out, like it's not it's not a secret, you know, Yeah, And that comes out with the conversation like if we're not talking about anything. Then it's just like, all right, you know a main theme that we saw, well, I'm assuming it might last throughout the season, but we obviously saw you talk about it. And I want with Chris is the fact that you have never been in love. So I want because you know, I'm i feel like I'm a first time viewer watching you, and I'm sure everyone here is probably feeling the same way. Can you give us a little bit of your dating background and like, did you ever have any really long lasting, standing story relationships where you thought you could get there or like give us the background of that. So my dating history in New York is slim to none because I was broken, Like I didn't have any money, so I couldn't take anybody out on a date like New York's expensive, so like just by default, I wasn't doing a lot of dating, you know what I mean. I was focused on the charitable work I was doing around at work or I'm trying. I'm trying to hustle, like I'm moved to New York grime, and I knew that the relationship part would come, but it had been a while since I've been in a serious relationship and when I said that I had never been in love, I felt like it wasn't until that moment that I could say that, because I knew what love meant to me in that moment, and that was the respect that you had for your partner, the sacrifice that you would be willing to make for them, the admiration you'd had, like everything that goes into loving somebody. I had said that in the past, but I wasn't willing to make those sacrifices and do the things that I was wanting to do now. So like whereas I would have I said it in the past when I was like a jit telling the people that I love them, like now as an adult having that conversation, like, I can't say that I've been in love because I would have gone about pourting that person and treating our relationship differently than I had. So that's why I'm like, so yeah, along with answer is like I love for me change and I hadn't been in love yet, Um did you have? And this is as a general question any regrets from this season? Was there somebody you sent home? And you're like, you know what, I probably shouldn't have done that, or maybe I should have given them a little bit more time. Um No, no, no, I don't have any regrets because of the way that I what about that process. Like I was a thousand percent on as I was open and I was myself, I was real. I didn't hold anything back, like for better, for worse than everything about me. The ones that that made it to like hometown whatever, Like they knew everything about me, who I was, what my moles were. Were I still but I wanted to do And if it didn't work out, then it's because that person didn't see that with me, And I can't hope I can't force that on somebody, you know, like if they not that person for them that I'm happy that they were able to figure that out with me and that they've gone forward, they'll be able to figure that out with that person. But um no, I don't. I don't have any regrets. When it came to hometowns, was there any apprehension on your part or were you nervous as a black man knowing that because I'm sure you have a diverse final four? Um, was there any were you nervous about meeting these parents, especially if one of those women had never dated a black man before. Having dated women whose parents were accepting of me being black, I wasn't as much. I wasn't really nervous Rachel. And here's why they knew what they were getting into. Like it wasn't a surprise when they got here that I was the Bachelor. It wasn't It shouldn't be a surprise to them if they looked at my Instagram, but they looked at my Twitter, and they looked at anything. But for the family, they didn't know that their daughter would make it that far. I never thought about it like that. I just assumed that's good. Then that's your answer, that's great. No, I just assumed that everyone was cool with it, because, like, it's not like a surprise dad, like Matt Tire, like they knew that their daughter was going on the Bachelor, and then I was the Bachelor. So like, I would be shocked if someone's parents weren't cool with it, because I'm like, yo, well and this is maybe this is what comes with you have never doing the show before. You've never done it. Most parents do not think they think this is a silly show. They can't believe that you're going on it. They don't think that it works, and so when you make it to the final four where they're like, oh my god, now I have to become a part of this. They don't get it. They don't understand it. It's very surreal to them. Um, they ask a lot of questions like like even though they're like is this real? And so I guess my my thing is is yes, they knew that they were coming on your season, but nobody believes that their daughter one is going to make it that far in two when their daughter is like no, I love him or I'm falling for him, and then it's like wait, okay, wait, wait, we have different talk. So that's why I'm asking you, is that when you like there's a completely different answer. So from a race standpoint, like thank god I didn't have any awkward or I didn't have their good But from the standpoint of like people's parentsing and this was silly and like they're being some sort of like coded language like when we're all together, there was there was that and that threw me off because like again it maybe my not like me being naive to the process, but like like I in that moment, I'm so confused as to like like like like when you it's like going into a water park in your shock that you get wet. It's like you knew coming on here that like I would hope that you had enough trust in the redeeming qualities and your daughter that she would make it to this point. And now that we're here, like you're confused that, like she's here, it's like a it's an oxy moment. It's like it's like, uh, I was so confused because it was like they it was news to them that we're here. It was the first Yeah, it's so foreign. Yeah, it's so foreign to people, you know, Like it was to the point where like I almost didn't have words for some of the conversation because I'm like, is that is that a trick question? Like like what do you mean? What do you mean? I'm confused? So Hometowns is going to be popping. It's gonna be great, hopefully. So it's no secret that obviously your friends with Tyler, you're friends with Hannah. You did talk to Rachel myself some of the past leads who gave you well, I guess I shouldn't say who, but what was some of the best and some of the worst advice that you got from anyone? That was already affiliated with the show some way, somehow that you got before coming on UM. To be honest with you, I personally don't think I got any bad advice because everything that someone told me happened at some point. And one of the conversations that I had Rachel literally the last day before my home was taken was just be yourself, don't have any regret, don't try to please everybody because you can't. That's it up, I didn't say. Me and Rachel had a great conversation, and when I was in those moments that just like what am I doing or like super frustrated, I would fall back on those and be like, Okay, I remember having this conversation, and I'm not the only one who want to do this, So m man, I have to say, because I FaceTime with you for what maybe thirty forty five minutes before you left, and you seem I don't know if it's because you were a little nervous and you knew what you were getting yourself into very soon, and there was a lot of just that pressure that we talked about and stress, but you are so enjoyable to have on right now. Thank you? Yeah again, No, I didn't know how to take that. I appreciate it. Yeah, No, I just like like it was I just try to be like I don't want to give like a fake account of like who I am in my experience, Like I just there's no there's nothing I get out of not being authentic, and like that's it was something that that the show helped me with to be honest with you. I felt like I was on two months of their like I'm just yes, having to talk about my feelings things that I'm not doing, so like you just it's it's draining to not to dodge that and it's not comfortable to not talk about it. So like the more comfortable I was sharing things that I wasn't comfortable and talking about my interfection, like, well, I just being real and like not really caring how I came off as long as I'm not offending somebody. But like I'm not a Harvard educated physicists, you know what I mean myself, and like I hold myself to a high standard. But like at the end of the day, like I'm doing so I want to ask this too, because that's such a good segue. So I feel like for so many of well, I would say both leads and contestants. Coming out of the show, you find your voice a little bit more, and you find what makes you you and what you know really fuels you. And so, at least for me personally, when I got off the show, I felt like I finally, you know, had my voice, and I felt empowered and strong and just so much more meat in this very weird, chaotic way. Did you feel that, and like, was there like now that you've gone through filming and the fact that it's airing, like, how do you feel and what is like one of the biggest takeaways that you've learned while you did the show? Well, two things. One I had to stop myself from like like being uh like like, for instance, when I got bad, I like saw my best friends are, I'm like, how a y'all doing? Like we're doing good? I mean I know, really, how are you doing? Like like you said good? Like why are you good? Like I'm like, I'm like still in the show mode, Like I'm like trying to have these conversations because so like my biggest takeaway was just like being comfortable having a comfortable conversations and being comfortable having like like coming into my voice and just like that. That was really the biggest stage way for me for the answers of why people feel the way that they do other than just very surface level. And that's more so from me, like because like good, Like how are you doing? I'm straight, Like that's not an answer, like what a strait mean? Like when someone asked me how I'm doing, I'm like, yo, I'm upset because I had this lady cut me off at work today and it made me upset, you know what I mean. It's like putting context to like my feelings so that people understand where I'm coming from. Opposes just being like okay, because that doesn't help anything. And I'm trying to be a better communicator because it's something I struggled and past, you know what I mean. So we need all men to be that way. Right. Well, this is how I know that you grew from the show because before you left, when I talked to you, I said like, what are you looking for? And your response at that point was somebody I can kick it with? And I was like, we're gonna need more. Can you just tell America somebody I can kick in with? And they're now look at you, mad that's I'm a refined man, and being able to kick with somebody still important. But if you want to learn more that all that lets us know that you're a refined man is one you had some good fantasy suits and two you found somebody. You found somebody because because can nothing refine you in the proper way like a good woman can't. So so thank you for letting us in a very indirect way that you are happy and you have found someone. We don't know in what capacity that was. We will take that and we will wait and see who it is that you chose. But how were the fantasy suite? How many you have? One? Two, three, handagoff four. I'm still upset about that. Oh you know what fantasy suite? That's like two months. So two months we're going to dive into that. You said you talked to Sean Low before. Did you pull a Sean Low because he didn't have any That's what I'm told. That's a great question. You can at least tell us was there a fantasy suite week? Well, it is part of the process, right. If you had to have a theme song for each week, what would it have been for Week nine, which is typically the Fantasy Sweet Week. That's what I was gonna say. That's easy, always and forever about Bryson Tiller. Okay, for those of you who don't know, Bryson Tiller is an R and B us. It's bedroom music basically. So there we go, there we are, there we go. Thank you, Thank you for that. I feel like Week nine, Fantasy Suite Week at Hometown Week when you're really spoken us in here, Matt, listen to Anniversary Bryson Teller. Then that'll set the tone for that week. All right, Matt, we have we If you've listening to this podcast, you know that we ask every guest we have on what the rose and the thorn of the season was. But obviously, since we've only now seen two episodes up to this point, what was your rose and what was your thorn? The rose is easy. The rose was meeting all those women nine one, just because it exceeded any of my expectations. You know, I'm like, I was just pinching myself that I was fortunate enough to have this group of women there, and like just the responsibility that comes with making sure that they feel comfortable they're getting the most out of this so that they can get the most out of me. And the thorn is when a special guest comes to Niver call it better not be Heather. You better not be talking about Heather. We are pleased that we were able to have you on the podcast. It's been so much fun. We back then, I have been looking forward to having you on the podcast, to be able to talk with you, not just about like your season and the women who are going to be on it, but about you, to get to know who you are and why you were chosen and what it feels to be to be the first and to be chosen, and how you're going to make your mark with all of this, and let everybody know who Matthew. What's your middle name? Christian? Of course it is Matthew Christian James Is. I'd like to close out in a prayer. I'm not I'm just gonna I'm not even gonna make a mockery that because I'm a Christian. I'm a Christian too, I'm not making I'm not making a mockery of that. I'm a Christian too. Man. Just seemed fitting, It just seemed quite natural. You are hilarious, Okay, matt One thing Becca and I do before every season is that we go through the cast biles. It's one of our most fun things to do because we don't know anything about these women and or men, depending on the season. So we went through all of your women. We know they're more to come, so I feel like we're at a very unfair advantage. But from the thirty plus women that we went through, we came up with our top four. Now, in true Rachel and Becca fashion, we did not write them down. So we're going to go off. We're going to go off pure memory, and our Happy Hour listeners will hold us accountable. So I'll start with mine. I'm pretty sure I picked Kristen or I picked one of the one of the black female attorneys. I just so it could have been Christina Lauren. I think I picked Chelsea because I find her background intriguing and I met her before did not recognize her because she had hair long hair when I met her, so I didn't I didn't recognize her, but I picked Chelsea. I think I think I picked Maggie and I picked Rachel obviously, even though we all know I have an issue with how she spells her name. It's not biblic and if I'm being totally honest, I don't remember anyone who I said besides Maggie. That's the only one that sucked up to me. There was a girl I have said Sarah. I feel like we were big on Sarah, but that could be maybe I said Sarah. There was one girl and her name. All I remember is her name started with an A, and I said she was going far because she liked champagne and I think chicken wings or something, And that's my picture. That's like, we didn't even get there. I said her home. Yeah, it was probably somebody. When I say I'm always wrong, it was definitely probably somebody. You said home night one. Can you tell us if we're closed? Did I mean did we? Did we? Oh? You were big? I think too. I think you said are Yeah, you're big on Bree. I might have said Bree. We don't remember. All be close. I've never done this more, but I'm gonna give y'all again. I'm probably gonna get in trouble with it, but it's worth it. Are you ready? M We are edge of our seats. The the woman that I picked ends up with the rose at the end sheets. I literally almost used the bathroom on my stuff. I thought, I at least thought you tell us one of the women we were we were we named about six was Minna walked out just to hear this. Right, it's like like naming names and she's like, I think, and then she's like looking to see how I reacting. She's like going through names. Wait, okay, let's go Abigail, Elena, Alice, shops Amber. Let me tell you how. Let me tell you reading between the lines. Reading between the lines, this is all I heard. Okay, so she gets a rose and not a ring. Bet, thanks for the hint. Take that and with that, we'll let you go. I want to get coming. I heard that. Wait, Matt, before you head off and take your nice little bubble bath, here in one sentence, give us a teaser of what's to come this season. What people can expect to your tune and in is authenticity and the level of realness that they hadn't seen before. All right, who do you end up with? You guys? Apiate? All right, man, you've been fantastic. Thank you so much for doing this. Oh my gosh, Becca, we've both talked to Matt outside of all of this, but it's so much fun to talk to him on the other side of his journey and to see, as you said, well, he said, we're fined. You've already been able to point out the differences in the conversation you had with him before versus after. I'm so excited for his season. I mean I already was, just because of the historic nature of it, but then in talking to him and the fact that he will not give us the tea that we want. No, I am really pumped for his season. I am too. He gave us just enough to leave us wanting more. And now obviously, like, of course we're going to watch the entire season for these recaps and to talk to the contestants. But it's so enjoyable being able to get to know somebody outside of the show. And you know, when we talked to him months ago, before he even started, I think he felt the pressure. He was nervous, he didn't have any idea of what to expect, and so I think at that point when we first talked to him, he was a little bit more buttoned up. And the fact that he can kind of just you know, feel more free and feel more of himself and like he found his voice and like what you know, drives him. I think is so special. Yeah. I cannot wait though, to see what goes down the rest of the season, because obviously we've seen teasers, we've now talked to him, We've had only Abigail on, So I can't wait to have more of the girls on and to continue this, this this crazy journey with him. Absolutely, I want to say this before we close out, too, is you know, a lot of people send messages and you know, have their critiques about Matt, but I really hope that you guys got a lot of insight into the pressure that he feels, what he went through before going through the season. It was very unprecedented in the way that they announced him, kind of what they put on him in such a quick way, and then for him to navigate this this whole world, this new world as the first black Bachelor. So I hope that you give him, um, you know, a little bit. How about you're a little bit more empathetic to him and you understand him better after listening to this podcast us stop asking us to call him out. I'm I'm telling you right now we're not going to do that. Well, let me watch the rest of the season, but this is hard it's a very hard process and he's navigating, you know, like a new territory. These are new waters that he's stepping into and it's not easy. So I hope that you guys enjoyed the podcast. Yeah, yeah, And as always, like everyone in life, is just trying to find what fills their heart, what fills their soul, and he's just trying to find, you know, maybe this missing piece of the puzzle to his life. And so just as we continue to watch week by week, have grace for not only Matt, before all the contestants as well. I know it's easy to get so wrapped up in the drama and she said, she said, and to have the favorites and the villains, but at the end of the day, everyone on the show is still a human. They still have feelians, they still have thoughts, opinions, hearts, emotions, and so just give everyone some grace. And with that, we are so happy that you guys joined us again today, So thank you for hanging out. And we're also so happy that we finally were able to talk to Matt. So we can't wait to watch the rest of his season. And as always, will be the first to sit down and talk to his girls. So if you have any questions, don't forget to dm us. You know where to find us. If not, it's at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram and at Batch Happy Hour on Facebook and Twitter. I love that Minnow is getting it popping in the background. Minnows excited you guys. I enjoyed the podcast, but I'm ready to go outside, So listen, guys, ye change our attention time now, exactly before before we wrap this up. Listen last with a last don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the Wondering App, or wherever you're listening to this right now. Trust us, you don't want to miss an episode. This is definitely going to be an epic season. Take care, hi, guys,