Young Love with Kelsey Anderson | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. Thank you for joining us. We're so excited to be back, aren't we. Kathy, Oh, it's always a thrill. And if you haven't done it yet, it's summer. Everyone has a little more time on their hands. It's time to follow our podcast so that you never miss an episode. Just search for Bachelor Happy Hour in the podcast app and hit the follow button. Yes, it's super important if you follow the podcast so you get notified every time.

00:00:35
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00:00:36
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00:00:41
Speaker 3: And you know what, while you're there, please check out all our past episodes. We have had so many fabulous guests and we've been having so much fun answering your questions, so keep those coming at bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour. We've had some great questions today that we're going to get to, but first.

00:01:00
Speaker 1: We have to introduce our very special beautiful guest. She's a Bachelor Nation star and fiance to Joey Kelsey Anderson is here.

00:01:11
Speaker 2: Hi, Kelsey, thank you so much for joining us. We're so excited to be chatting with you today.

00:01:17
Speaker 4: Thank you for having me you so welome, thank.

00:01:21
Speaker 2: You for joining us. So hell is life with your man Joey?

00:01:25
Speaker 4: It's fabulous.

00:01:27
Speaker 5: You know, it's nice being able to do so many amazing things and getting all these crazy opportunities. But we're definitely ready for things to start slowing down.

00:01:34
Speaker 4: In July. We have a good couple of weeks that we just start going to relax. And did you hear that she's.

00:01:39
Speaker 3: Got a good couple of weeks? Come on, you guys have been traveling. I followed you guys on Instagram. You were in Hawaii. That looks like a dream trip. Portugal A were you there for a wedding?

00:01:51
Speaker 4: I think yes, yeah, I onet of Joey's best friends.

00:01:53
Speaker 3: Okay, you were at stage coach. All right, tell us about your travels.

00:01:57
Speaker 5: Yeah, we've been all over the place, a lot of it and personal honestly recently, like, we've had three weddings this month. So I had my cousin's wedding and then two of Joey's friends weddings, one of them he was in. One of them was in Portugal Hawaii. We got to go with Charity, Don and Katie and.

00:02:14
Speaker 4: Zach, which was so fun.

00:02:16
Speaker 5: Yeah, Joey Yeah, that's like where Joey lived was Kauwhai, so it was really special for him to show us around and get to meet his friends on the island and uh yeah that was really amazing as well.

00:02:27
Speaker 4: And now we're in Nashville.

00:02:30
Speaker 3: So yeah, so I want to know you've been at three weddings. Did give joe any ideas.

00:02:35
Speaker 5: Uh, like of like of like what we want to do and what we don't want to do. Okay, We're like don't even know where we want to have it because both of our families are all over the place, so it's.

00:02:46
Speaker 4: Like we need time to even figure out like what area we want to have it in.

00:02:50
Speaker 5: But yeah, we're we feel like little talks like oh we would like to do this, we want to do this, but there's nothing said so yet, Charity.

00:02:58
Speaker 1: Do you do it where you want. Don't try to please everybody else. It's about you and him.

00:03:05
Speaker 3: That's true. So so, Kelsey, I know that Charity and Dotton are planning their wedding, And you know, Zach and Katy live near me in Austin, and I've had them over and we've talked, and I know they're planning a wedding. So I want to know, like, have they had any like game change or any really great advice for you guys, you know, anything about relationships.

00:03:26
Speaker 4: Like planning for spending the wedding or for relationships.

00:03:29
Speaker 3: Yeah, all of it. Wedding planning, relationship goals.

00:03:33
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I know Katie and Zach were talking to me about how they were looking at venues charity and Dowton also told us a little bit about some of the things that they've been doing getting ready for their wedding.

00:03:42
Speaker 4: I think that I actually sent Katie a venue that.

00:03:45
Speaker 5: One of my friends looked at in Austin, because I know that she was maybe wanting to do it somewhere around there, and so I actually set her a venue to go look at because one of my friends went there.

00:03:53
Speaker 4: Is beautiful. But we haven't talked too much about it. They just kind of gave me.

00:03:56
Speaker 5: A little bit of details about what they're what they're looking forward to.

00:04:00
Speaker 3: Any relationship advice.

00:04:02
Speaker 5: I mean I got a lot of relationship advice from Katie and from Dowton whenever we were like in hiding. They both are so nice and for them to reach out to me and be there for me, I was like I needed that so much, because it's really hard in hiding, especially whenever you know you're hiding that you're engaged and you.

00:04:22
Speaker 4: Want to tell everybody, and then everybody's.

00:04:24
Speaker 5: Seeing all, you know, the other relationships that your partner had and watching it back can be difficult.

00:04:29
Speaker 4: But having them and their support was amazing.

00:04:32
Speaker 2: Oh god, I love it all. I love all six of you.

00:04:35
Speaker 5: I know you guys are all friends, and I'm like, because everyone, they're so amazing, they're so down to earth.

00:04:41
Speaker 4: It's like we would be friends in real life.

00:04:43
Speaker 5: And like, I don't think people can understand unless they were on the show, like how we could all be friends.

00:04:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's all six of you are truly amazing couples. You really are.

00:04:53
Speaker 1: Thank you, and it's living proof everybody that it does work.

00:04:57
Speaker 2: Look how happy they are.

00:04:58
Speaker 3: That's right. Yeah, that's right. So are you guys living together? Where are you living? I know you've just traveled so much. Where are you guys doing.

00:05:06
Speaker 5: Yeah, I've been joking that New Orleans is our closet right now because we've been traveling so much. It's like we just like keep all of our clothes there and then we're like moving all over the place. But like I said in July, things are slowing down, so we'll be able to be there more and I get to show more around New Orleans. But New Orleans is our base, but hopefully being in New York soon.

00:05:27
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Where in New York? Are you a galling baby?

00:05:29
Speaker 4: Manhattan?

00:05:30
Speaker 5: But we don't have like a area, like a neighborhood set yet. But we have a couple areas that we're looking into, but I'm not sure yet we have, We've been looking. But it's so hard New York because it's like whenever something goes up, it gets taken immediately.

00:05:44
Speaker 3: It's good everybody everyone there get gets apartment locators. It's just what you have to do.

00:05:50
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we have someone helping us for sure.

00:05:52
Speaker 3: Have you lived in New York, Coulsey.

00:05:54
Speaker 4: No, I've never lived in New York. That's what I've always wanted to.

00:05:57
Speaker 5: I don't know if it's like watching too much sex in the city or what it is, but I'm like, I have this dream.

00:06:01
Speaker 4: Of living in New York.

00:06:02
Speaker 1: You could you could do sex and this, and you could be that next girl welcome down.

00:06:08
Speaker 4: You know.

00:06:09
Speaker 5: I just like love the hustle and bustle. I've visited a lot. I have some friends that live there. But yeah, I'm just really excited. I'm like, I don't care if I hate it. I have to experience it, you know.

00:06:18
Speaker 2: At once.

00:06:19
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, right, exactly. Yeah.

00:06:23
Speaker 5: Joey is excited like too, because it's very close to Philly, so it's like an hour train ride, I think. And the train is amazing. We took it once from Philly to New York. So we'll be able to visit his sister and brother in law and dad a lot, which is gonna be.

00:06:36
Speaker 2: Really nice, nice, nice. I'm excited for you. I'm so excited.

00:06:42
Speaker 3: Because we should go visit them in New York.

00:06:44
Speaker 4: Go. Yeah, and Charity Dun's in Brooklyn, so now my.

00:06:49
Speaker 3: Daughter lived in Brooklyn. They they live near where my daughter lives. That's a great nice too.

00:06:54
Speaker 4: Yeah it is.

00:06:54
Speaker 1: It is Brooklyn School because it has like little Italy sections, you know, it's like where I grew up.

00:07:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, wow, I love it. I love it. Okay, So we never know when you're going to get there, but let us know.

00:07:06
Speaker 4: I'm sure, yes, I definitely will.

00:07:10
Speaker 3: Okay, So we do a topic of the day, Kelsey, Yes, and today we want you to join in with us. Are there any taboo topics that are off limits to talk about with a long term partner or do you like to talk about everything?

00:07:27
Speaker 4: I love to talk about everything. I think it's also like part of my ADHD brain. It like jumps around to everything.

00:07:33
Speaker 5: But also whenever Joey and I after we got engaged, I would look up like thousands of questions like to ask somebody, Like there's literally like a list of like a thousand questions to ask people, or like there's books, you know, and we would just flip through and I just be like, Oh, what's you know? All like random questions that you would never think to ask somebody.

00:07:49
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:07:49
Speaker 5: I love getting to know all the little things about anybody, my friends, like my significant others.

00:07:54
Speaker 1: So have you ever have you ever asked Joey if he knew what his loved language was.

00:08:00
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, he said, yeah, he said he thinks it like receiving. It was like I think it was words of affirmation in physical touch and then like he gives it in like physical touch, And what is it?

00:08:13
Speaker 2: You can't have all five? See? I see the same way. I want all five.

00:08:16
Speaker 4: I like that I my lovelages. All five give them all to me.

00:08:20
Speaker 2: I deserve them all, right, I'm impressed them. Some men don't even know what that is.

00:08:26
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know, yeah, I think maybe the Bachelor trained him a little.

00:08:30
Speaker 3: Wat What is your what is your lang? What is your love language? Kelsey?

00:08:34
Speaker 4: Giving it? Giving it? I would probably say acts of service?

00:08:40
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, for your partner, for my partner, Yeah, for anybody, like I will. I love like leaving little notes or little gifts. I like hiding little letters and stuff and his like luggage whenever like he's going somewhere and for him to find whenever he's by himself, like I like doing.

00:08:55
Speaker 1: But your love language when you're asked, what is your love language?

00:08:59
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, like what receive?

00:09:00
Speaker 2: How do you have love? Yeah?

00:09:04
Speaker 5: I would say acts of service as well, honestly, like I want you to think about little things intentionally and do them for me without being asked, Like.

00:09:11
Speaker 4: I don't want to ask. I want to just do it for me. Oh yeah, exactly what are yours?

00:09:17
Speaker 2: Kathy?

00:09:18
Speaker 3: Oh you know what that whole thing I get. As I've said you before, Susan, I get confused, I think because.

00:09:24
Speaker 2: You want them all as well.

00:09:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're being honest. I think for me, it's touch. And that's for me, it's touch, and and I think acts of service. For the other person, I give acts of service and and I like to receive, you know, physical touch. But hey, I haven't had a date in a while, so really does it matter?

00:09:46
Speaker 2: Oh God? So are next?

00:09:58
Speaker 1: For the other people out there looking for love? How did you know Joey was the one?

00:10:05
Speaker 4: I just it's funny, I explained it. Growing up.

00:10:08
Speaker 5: My mom always told us, like, you need somebody like your dad, Like the type of like person that your dad is, that's the type of man that you should look for. And my dad is very intentional, like whatever he speaks, like all his words mean so much.

00:10:22
Speaker 6: You can tell me your dad by the way, Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's like I feel like he's very intentional with all his words.

00:10:33
Speaker 5: And I like realized that with Joey, Like all the words that he would tell me, like they just seemed so intentional and like very special like to me, and he made me.

00:10:42
Speaker 4: Feel really special.

00:10:43
Speaker 5: And yeah, he just reminded me a lot of the way that like my dad was to my mom, the way he was to me.

00:10:48
Speaker 2: So how lacking?

00:10:50
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, we're asking the same question. I thought is that what was lacking Kelsey in your other relationships that they make you feel special?

00:10:58
Speaker 5: I think that I would have to ask ask for a lot of things. I mean, it's funny. Me and my girlfriends were talking the other night. Whenever we're all hanging out, They're like, Kelsey, you just don't date bad guys. Like all of my exes are great men. They just I feel like didn't fit for me.

00:11:12
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't know my question what's different about the guys you dated?

00:11:17
Speaker 2: What is is Joey different?

00:11:20
Speaker 4: I think Joey's different. Yeah, No, I don't think it's timing.

00:11:23
Speaker 5: I think that Joey is different because like he continuously makes me feel special like he I've never really had to like ask.

00:11:29
Speaker 4: For love, you know what I mean. I feel like in previous relationships, I felt like, you.

00:11:33
Speaker 5: Know, it kind of dwindled, and I felt like I was having to like ask for things that I didn't think that I should have been asking for. Good.

00:11:40
Speaker 3: Are you friends with your exes, Kelsey?

00:11:42
Speaker 4: I'm not friends with my exes, but I respect my exes.

00:11:45
Speaker 5: I don't think that you should really have that, like, you know, best friendship with them.

00:11:52
Speaker 3: Oh wait a minute, since then you've been the one that says you're really good friends with all your exes all of them.

00:11:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, but not like best friends. Yeah I'm not Christmas. Yeah.

00:12:05
Speaker 1: So what dating advice, if you will, would you give your younger self, if you had the knowledge that you have now, would anything be different?

00:12:14
Speaker 2: Because I think you are young, so.

00:12:16
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't think that I would do anything different. Well maybe, like I think that in my early relationships, I was like I loved the drama, you know, like I loved like arguing and things like that.

00:12:28
Speaker 4: I would say, maybe don't do that, it's not cute.

00:12:32
Speaker 3: But about you, see, we we finished each other crazy, I think for me, I uh, the advice I would give is just believe in yourself, you know, believe in myself more than I believe in myself a lot now. But when I was younger, I don't think I did as much. And so that's what about you.

00:12:55
Speaker 1: I second that as well as and you taught me this.

00:12:59
Speaker 2: I read flag is a red flag.

00:13:01
Speaker 3: It's not going to change Kelsey truly, right.

00:13:05
Speaker 5: No, my girlfriends were all talking about our relationships like our previous relationships recently. But one of my best friends she told me something whenever I was like dating my college boyfriend, and I was because I was like, I kept having these feelings like I just don't feel like this is it, and I was like, I feel like I need to end it. And I was talking to her and she was like, well, like why are.

00:13:25
Speaker 4: You staying with him?

00:13:26
Speaker 5: I was like, well, he's so nice to me, Like he's so nice, and she was like, you should expect every man to be nice to you. That's the bare minimum. And whenever she said that, I was like, oh, you're right. I was like and I ended it, literally, I think that week because I was like, you're so right, like that's the bare minimum. Every man should be nice to you, and then you should have like these other connections and you know, things interest that are alike.

00:13:45
Speaker 3: But yeah, I love it. Okay, So I want to get back to your dad for a minute, because when we met him at your finale, of course, you know, Susan elbowed away in to see if she could maybe date the.

00:13:57
Speaker 2: We were emailing long before.

00:13:59
Speaker 3: That, See what I mean, nobody gets a chance, but you know he suit your dad is a super nice guy, and you know, how how do I Susan obviously already got it done. How do we land a guy like your dad? And and selfishly does your dad have any other single friends?

00:14:18
Speaker 1: So, Kelsey, how would you feel if your dad got to have a similar dating experience just like yours?

00:14:26
Speaker 2: Like, how would that make you feel?

00:14:28
Speaker 5: I would fully support it. I want my dad to, like get out there. I want my dad to date. I think that my mom really would want him to. My mom before she passed, always said like, I want you to find somebody else. I want you to find another love, because I think she always just knew that she like before she even was six. She would always say that she just knew that she was going to pass before him. And she always said that, And so like, I know me and all my siblings would support him and want him to be happy and find a partner that he can travel and do things with.

00:14:57
Speaker 3: So so that brings up something for me because, as you know, my husband passed away and my kids, my sons were very very eager, you know, they want, but my daughter was much more reticent about me dating and finding somebody. And you know, I wonder what you would say to those people that are your age too, you know, sort of give their parents a break because we don't want to be alone. You know, what do you think about that?

00:15:31
Speaker 5: I just I feel like my dad gave like all of us so much love, like growing up, and he still does that.

00:15:36
Speaker 4: And I just feel like my dad deserves love as well. You know.

00:15:39
Speaker 5: I think that, you know, loving like your family is different than loving like a partner. And I think that like he needs like that support of like a like a partner. You know that someone like that's not his kid, and that's not his.

00:15:50
Speaker 4: Brothers friend, sister in law.

00:15:52
Speaker 5: Yeah, like his best friend, like I don't know, is deserving of that.

00:15:57
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:15:57
Speaker 3: So much more that you that you feel that way, because you know, I said to my kids, look and I'm I can never replace your dad. Yeah, and I hear you saying sort of the same thing. But I deserve to be happy too. And it's amazing that you're twenty five.

00:16:15
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just turned twenty six April. Thank you.

00:16:19
Speaker 3: But it's just amazing that you have that. Are your siblings in the same boat with you?

00:16:24
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that like some of my siblings, that like took them a little bit longer to feel that way. My dad hasn't really dated, like he kind of dated like one or two ladies, but it was very like kind of I don't think that he fully felt like he could date them because he always felt guilty about it because he feels like, no one's going to replace your mom. And it's like, we know that no one's going to replace our mom, but it's going to be a different love and it's going to be, you know, something that you deserve that you know, we just wanted to be happy and like find a best friend like how he was with my mom as well.

00:16:53
Speaker 3: That that's unbelievably perfect what you just said.

00:16:56
Speaker 5: It is.

00:16:57
Speaker 2: It is all.

00:16:57
Speaker 1: You've got a great family. I met both of your brother your sisters. They're all beautiful people, and I think they all encourage him.

00:17:04
Speaker 2: I agree with.

00:17:05
Speaker 4: Yes, definitely.

00:17:06
Speaker 3: Okay, Susan, I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to horn in then on it, so what I can go younger Kelsey. The other thing that I wanted to talk to and I think I actually mentioned this to you at your finale, but why would you remember you talked about the butterflies coming during and that is the same thing when my husband died, yellow butterflies came and and you know that's I felt such a strong connection. I still do when the butterflies come. How do you how do you connect with your mom? You know? And how do you find ways for Joey to connect with your mom? Which I know sounds a little strange, but you know, anyone I did, I would want them sort of to know my background and be part of my family.

00:17:56
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:17:57
Speaker 5: I love telling Joey's stories about my mom, Like whenever anything like reminds me of her, I love to tell him stories. I think that that's how I feel like Joey kind of connects with my mom. He also got me this little butterfly necklace of Valentine's Day.

00:18:12
Speaker 4: Which is really sweet.

00:18:14
Speaker 3: I know he's a keeper.

00:18:17
Speaker 5: He was really sweet, but yeah, I think that I think that Joey understands the type of woman my mom was to me, just from like the stories and the videos that I show him, and like of her just dancing and making up songs and dance moves and all these things, like she was always laughing and very positive. My siblings will say like that I'm like the most like her in a.

00:18:38
Speaker 4: Lot of ways.

00:18:39
Speaker 5: I think that we all have like our little quirks that are like our moms but are like our mom. But yeah, I definitely resemble my mom the most out of all of us too, so that's kind of it feels special.

00:18:50
Speaker 4: She's beautiful, She's beautiful.

00:18:53
Speaker 2: I love it.

00:18:54
Speaker 3: Wow.

00:18:55
Speaker 1: I just love you and him together, and I think your whole family is blessed and his family.

00:19:00
Speaker 2: Guys, we wish nothing but the best.

00:19:02
Speaker 4: Thank you.

00:19:03
Speaker 1: So we have some fan questions to go through and we give advice, and Kelsey here is going to give her advice as well.

00:19:12
Speaker 2: Are you ready ready?

00:19:14
Speaker 3: All right?

00:19:15
Speaker 1: This one is from Sean. He's forty four from Baton Rouge.

00:19:19
Speaker 2: Hello, mad Rouge.

00:19:21
Speaker 3: That's close to close to you, that's sure.

00:19:24
Speaker 1: Hello, ladies, I have a question. I'm looking for some advice on my wife and I have been together for ten years, and she's eight years younger than me. We met when we were thirty four and twenty six, and now we're forty four and thirty six. When we met, she thought she wanted kids and just said she wasn't ready yet. Now she said she isn't sure anymore about wanting children, but I still do. I know people can change their mind, and she was young when we met, but this is becoming really difficult for me. As I always saw myself as a dad. She is one my person and we are deeply in love. So I don't know if I need to walk away from a relationship that makes me so happy, or if I can continue in our marriage and let go of the resentment. I know this is a difficult situation, so any advice is welcome.

00:20:21
Speaker 2: Thank you for your wisdom.

00:20:23
Speaker 3: Wow, Kelsey, we didn't say this was going to be easy. We were just y'all.

00:20:28
Speaker 2: Your first one is.

00:20:30
Speaker 3: Okay. We can ask you that question, Susan, I can answer. You can tell us how we have beautiful hair, can get beautiful hair?

00:20:37
Speaker 4: No, I don't know how would I answered that.

00:20:40
Speaker 5: I feel like that's so hard because you you know, I feel like he's always going to think of like the what if of like, oh what if I didn't like, what if I had kids?

00:20:47
Speaker 4: What if? Whatever?

00:20:48
Speaker 2: That's hard, But it's his.

00:20:50
Speaker 4: But if it's your person, you know, then how dare you walk away? No?

00:20:55
Speaker 3: You just yeah, Oh, guys, I don't know. I mean. I got Mary Kelsey very young. I was twenty, and we knew we wanted children, but we purposely because I was so young and we were traveling and doing my husband's in the military, a whole bunch of things. So I was married almost eight and a half years before I had my first child. But I can say that if someone wants a child and they and the other partner says no, that resentment is going to build. Yeah, and the person that you love so much today, maybe the person that you resent, you know, two years from now when you decided or she decides it's too late and doesn't want children, you know, Susan, I was waiting for your big s word. They have to talk about it, Nick, I mean, that's what I would say. You really have to talk about it, and.

00:21:51
Speaker 1: Absolutely that would be But Sean, I wish you the best. But if you're that much in love with her and she's your person, just keep talking about it.

00:22:00
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, do you not think if he's asking he said, I don't know if I need to walk away from a relationship, he's obviously thinking about walking away.

00:22:08
Speaker 1: I know that entered his mind because he wants to be a dad so bad.

00:22:12
Speaker 2: Well, okay, let's go.

00:22:14
Speaker 3: On, go on, Sean. We wish you all the luck, Yeah, we do. Okay. This one is from Alyssa. She's thirty one and she's from San Francisco. Hi, Kathy and Susan. Love you both, and I'm hoping you can give me advice on this. I met my boyfriend last summer while traveling in Europe. We instantly connected and it felt unlike any of my past relationships. Since my trip, we have been going back and forth, visiting each other in our respective cities, San Francisco and Rome. I know, really, I mean, sounds perfect to me. Okay, I am thirty one years old and really think this could be my person. But we still feel a bit far off from moving for each other because our relationship is still fairly new. We talk about it, but it still feels like a thing in the future. I want to get married and have kids and worry that this could all implode. We really love each other and are both doing everything to make it work, but will the distance be the end of us. We have started looking for jobs in each other's cities, but it feels like a long road and very difficult. Any advice is greatly appreciated. I don't have any friends who have been in this situation. Been loving the podcast. I hope it goes on forever. Well. Thank you listen, so do it. Okay, come on, Kelsey, this is right up your alley.

00:23:43
Speaker 2: What do you say, girl?

00:23:44
Speaker 4: Yeah? How long have they been together?

00:23:48
Speaker 3: Last summer? So you know, it sounds like it's coming up by a year, almost a year.

00:23:54
Speaker 4: I don't see.

00:23:55
Speaker 5: It's like it's funny because in normal situations, I'd be like, yeah, just keep doing in a long distance. If it's gonna work, it's gonna work. I don't think that you need to like rush things. But at the same time, like, I just got gig together, So I'm like, you know, if that's your person, like, you know, make the big move if you feel like that's your person, you know.

00:24:15
Speaker 1: I think they should decide what they want more San Francisco or Rome. Because they're young, they have to work, they need careers.

00:24:23
Speaker 2: So decide what you want to do and who's going to do it. Yeah, but don't give up on it.

00:24:29
Speaker 4: Yeah, we give up on it.

00:24:31
Speaker 3: Wait are you? I'm sorry I blanked out it the first second. Are you guys saying like I would say, one, if you pick up and move and I don't care, I mean personally i'd go to Rome. Yeah, but but I mean a year doesn't seem like an unreasonable amount of time for them to make that decision. Does it to anyone else?

00:24:49
Speaker 4: No, I don't think it's no. No, I feel like that's a long girlfriend.

00:24:53
Speaker 3: Go for it.

00:24:55
Speaker 5: And then by the time you actually probably have everything together with a job and like where you're gonna move and everything's probably be year and a half so.

00:25:01
Speaker 2: And they are starting to look so yeah, keep that baby keeping.

00:25:05
Speaker 3: All right, Well, good luck to you, all right, I think we have time for one more. Hi, Kathy and Susan. I'm twenty four and I got married this year in Michigan to my absolute best friend and the man who is always in my corner. It was a small courthouse wedding, but we're planning on doing a big wedding in the near future. He's not a citizen, so we have to work on green card things first and foremost. My friend that I have asked to be my matron of honor was not happy about the wedding and thought I needed to take more time to make my decision. She tends to think I can't make my own life decisions because I'm human and have made mistakes. Ultimately, she just wants to protect me because she was there. She didn't smile the whole time and didn't say a word to my husband. I don't know how to tell her that I didn't appreciate it and that I understand that it was from a place of love, but I don't know how to start the conversation. It made my husband really mad that she did that to us and said he doesn't think she should be at our next wedding if she can't be kind to him or support us. Please help me. I love your podcast and the both of you, and I think you'd be the best equipped to give me this advice.

00:26:14
Speaker 1: Oh I know what to do, baby, yep, Okay, well let's go ahead.

00:26:19
Speaker 5: So I'm like, if she's your best friend, she should be happy for you, right, Like I mean, if you had your question, if she had said something to you and you were like, you know, no, like I'm going to continue with this wedding and did it. I feel like she should just support you with that. I mean like with my girlfriends. I remember we didn't like one of my girlfriend's boyfriends an ex that they had, and we told her and then she was like, well, I'm going to steal date up and then we're like, okay, you can make your own decisions and that's that, and then we became friends with him.

00:26:47
Speaker 4: It was cool, but we like, initially it was like we didn't really feel that way. I told her.

00:26:50
Speaker 5: She was like, I don't care, and she could make her own decisions, you know. But I think that your friend should support you and be happy for you, especially on your wedding day.

00:26:57
Speaker 1: Right, And she's afraid to say something to her, So if she's your real friend, then you should say something to her.

00:27:04
Speaker 3: Well, Susan I thought, she said, I don't know how to start the conversation. I thought of you, Susansane, just say it.

00:27:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, get to the point came here.

00:27:13
Speaker 4: You know, I would write it out.

00:27:14
Speaker 5: Maybe first you think about the point you want to talk about.

00:27:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good idea that you can try that. I think the most important thing, though, is you have found your person. Make sure you put him first and foremost in your life. That's that's the most important thing. Hopefully, Yeah, retain this friendship. But golly, how lucky are you that you found your person? Congrats?

00:27:40
Speaker 2: One last question?

00:27:42
Speaker 1: Do you have a best for Kathy and I?

00:27:46
Speaker 5: I know you are so fun and I mean, you have been putting yourselves out there so much.

00:27:50
Speaker 4: I just continue to do that.

00:27:52
Speaker 5: I like it seems like such an amazing experience for you ladies that I think that's it's like kind of like a new you get a new on life.

00:28:00
Speaker 4: Right.

00:28:01
Speaker 3: What would your advice be, feared Dad, Because that's where I was. I thought, that's a question. I want to know, what's your advice here? At you? You know you were on.

00:28:08
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm like, do it all, you know, be yourself and experience it all. Be true to yourself. I feel like that's how I went through. It was just like step by step, but I just was very honest about, you know, what I was feeling. I wasn't like I love Joey the first day because I didn't. But whenever I did feel those feelings, I said them.

00:28:23
Speaker 4: But I don't know if.

00:28:25
Speaker 5: I just want him to be open to all the experiences that come with it and be open with his.

00:28:29
Speaker 1: Heart and be true to himself, be himself authentically, you know.

00:28:34
Speaker 3: I think that's all great advice. But I also think if we're being honest, you have to remember there isn't that much time always, right, Yeah, you have to jump in pretty quickly.

00:28:47
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think you just embrace it all you know what I mean, Like you go through it and you embrace it all, like every single step, and you like give it your all. I feel like you talk about all the things that are pressing and that like the big things about yourself. Joey and I always talk like we literally dated and verse. You know, we talked about all the big things, and then now we're finding out all the little.

00:29:03
Speaker 2: Things, which is the important thing.

00:29:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just have to ask one more question. What was the first big thing you told Joey.

00:29:13
Speaker 5: I told Joey about all my all my like my family, and oh I told him.

00:29:18
Speaker 4: I think the biggest thing.

00:29:19
Speaker 5: One of the first big things I told him was that I really wanted to adopt and that was a non negotiable for me. So if he wasn't open to that, then I couldn't be here. But interesting, yeah, so I was like, that's a non negotiable for me. I just feel it, like in my soul that I have to like adopt at least one kid.

00:29:37
Speaker 1: And you had that one as well. Yeah yeah, okay, but YE want to adopt one.

00:29:42
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I want like a million kids. Joey only once like two. He's like, it's easier to travel.

00:29:47
Speaker 3: So I'm like, okay, it is no, no, no no, here's the deal. Here's the deal.

00:29:51
Speaker 2: Adopted families.

00:29:53
Speaker 3: No no, no, he'll get this. He will. He's a sports guy. You tell him that. It's you go for three kids, because is when you have two kids, it's a manned a man defense. When you go to three, it's a zone defense. I'll tell you you go to zone once you have Once you have two, you can go to three or four. It's perfect, you'll get.

00:30:13
Speaker 1: I feel like it was harder with three because I had twins after my first my daughter, and then I had twin boys, and five is so much more difficult. Not everybody gets to sit next to mommy one on each side, or dad. You know there was always that.

00:30:28
Speaker 3: Yeah, there were seven in my crew.

00:30:31
Speaker 2: Well that's like beyond yeah seven, you have seven.

00:30:35
Speaker 4: You have six siblings, Kelsey, I have five siblings. So like when my mom was aro out, yeah.

00:30:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you.

00:30:43
Speaker 3: Didn't you love the big family?

00:30:45
Speaker 4: I love it. Yeah, I love everyone yelling over each other.

00:30:49
Speaker 2: You're like Italians down there.

00:30:52
Speaker 3: Listen up, Joey, while you're drinking your Cafe Dumont. You're having more than two kids.

00:30:58
Speaker 1: So one of the things I saw out there on our Instagram and such. I love how you make Joey war the eyepath not make him, but he's.

00:31:07
Speaker 2: Joining you with the ie gel patches. That was so cute.

00:31:11
Speaker 4: He like wants to do all the skincare stuff. I've been like helping him.

00:31:14
Speaker 5: He's like, do I use this because of like my skin's like this, like and I'm like, yeah, babe, or you.

00:31:18
Speaker 4: Can do this and you can try this serum, and he's like so into it. He loves it.

00:31:23
Speaker 2: I love it and care take care of his skin.

00:31:27
Speaker 4: Yes, right.

00:31:29
Speaker 3: The biggest thing is using sunscreen, right, he knows.

00:31:31
Speaker 4: Yes, I've been telling him, but he thinks that. He's like, he's like, I don't get so burned. I don't need it.

00:31:35
Speaker 5: I'm like, that's not even one. Yes, he literally gets some burnt so bad. But also it's like you need it because it's gonna like, I don't know, prect your skin and.

00:31:44
Speaker 1: Get like this because I never used it until later in life. We get a little pink and then it's instantly brown.

00:31:53
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, yeah, I'm the same way.

00:31:55
Speaker 5: I mean, like he has like his Italian jeans, I have my Hispanic jeens so like we're both pretty so our tans by Yes Tony Sunscreen.

00:32:03
Speaker 2: Always do yes.

00:32:04
Speaker 3: All right, Well listen on that happy note. That does it for this episode of Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank you to our lovely and gorgeous woman friend Kelsey for joining us and dishing out some great advice. You are wives beyond your years, Kelsey, Kelsey and you so much.

00:32:23
Speaker 2: Thank you for coming and chatting with us.

00:32:25
Speaker 3: We love you, Kelsey, We love you and your gorgeous hair. Thank you so much for joining us, and be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new episodes coming out every week and we don't want you to miss even.

00:32:38
Speaker 1: One, absolutely not. Make sure to submit your questions to us so we can talk about them. You can go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or hit us up on social at Bachelor Happy Hour.

00:32:51
Speaker 3: Listen to Bachelor or Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app, or wherever you listen to podcasts