278 | CCPT Purism: The Core Tenets & Conditions That Shaped Child-Centered Play Therapy

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are continuing in our CCPT purism series.

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And

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gosh y'all,

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I've only released one episode and I've already gotten so

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much feedback about how excited you are for this.

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So

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I'm excited,

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you're excited

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and

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I'm really looking forward to this.

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I think this is gonna be a lot of fun and necessary and helpful.

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So,

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I'm

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seriously,

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I'm happy that there's been such positive feedback.

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However,

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before we dive in,

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I want to share a couple of updates.

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Number one,

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a huge thank you to all of you who have signed up for the Corwell

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course

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bundle.

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I,

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there was a huge flurry of activity when I announced this last time,

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so thank you for those of you that are wanting to do that.

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If you are not familiar with what I'm talking about,

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there is a 9 CEU bundle

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that I'm offering through Corwell at the end of March and early in April

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3 Fridays in a row,

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and it will be a deep dive into all four of the pillars.

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So if you are interested in doing that,

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if you'd like to hone your skills,

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build your skills,

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have a better understanding of the pillars and

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the rationale,

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execution,

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all those things,

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you can do the live bundle or the on demand bundle,

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and they are filling up.

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So if you want to do it live,

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make sure that you get your tickets as soon as possible.

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And that is at

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playtherapypodcast.com/4pillars as in the number.

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And pillars,

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and then you can get registered for that.

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Secondly,

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I just got back from the Virginia State Conference and a huge thank

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you to all of my podcast people that came to dinner with me.

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We had a lovely evening and wouldn't you know y'all?

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They all,

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they all blamed me.

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They said that I did it on purpose.

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They said he was a plant,

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but it was not.

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There's a massive long table of us,

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all of us sitting at one huge stretch in the restaurant.

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And

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a guy walks up and I'm at the other end so I could not interact with him,

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but he walks up and of course,

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what do you think he says?

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What are all of you here for?

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What's this group about or whatever?

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And of course the response is,

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we're at a conference.

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Oh,

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what kind of conference?

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Play therapy.

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Oh,

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what's that?

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And I had just talked earlier in the day about everyone needing to write out

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their what is play therapy answer

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in 5 iterations.

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And they were like,

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Brenna,

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you did this on purpose,

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didn't you?

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This is a test.

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You're trying to see if,

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if we know how to respond to this.

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And the lady that was on the very,

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very end of the table after you walked away,

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I said,

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All right,

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so I wonder what you said.

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And she goes,

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oh,

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I caved.

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I said,

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I work with kids and I do mental health.

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So.

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Oh gosh,

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but we can't help it,

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can we?

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Like everywhere we go,

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no matter what,

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we get asked,

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what do you do?

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And as soon as you say play therapy,

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here we are.

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Related anecdote,

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related aside,

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as I like to say,

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and you all say that to me in your emails,

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which cracks me up.

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I'm checking into the hotel.

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With the president of

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the APT.

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And

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the manager walks out and says,

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Hi,

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welcome.

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What brings you ladies to Richmond?

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And Sarah responded,

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we're here for a conference,

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and she's the speaker.

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And he looks at me and says,

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oh,

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really,

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if you don't mind me asking,

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what's the conference on?

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And I said,

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play therapy.

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And he's so quiet

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for too long.

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He kind of just like fiddles with his computer and does a couple of things and.

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I thought,

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oh my gosh,

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he's actually not gonna ask.

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I'm impressed.

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And then about 45 seconds go by and he goes,

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what's play therapy.

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And I was like,

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man,

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you lasted longer than most.

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So my response was,

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I wonder if you would like

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the one sentence answer or the 30-second answer.

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Because,

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by the way,

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if you all have never

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heard one of my conferences or attended any of my coaching or anything,

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you need to have a one sentence,

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a 30-second,

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a 3 minute,

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a 5 minute,

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and a 10 minute response to that.

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But anyway,

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so I said,

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I wonder if you would like the one sentence or the 30-second answer,

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and he said,

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whichever one will help me understand what it is.

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So I gave him the one sentence answer.

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And

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he sits there for a second

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and says,

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Oh yeah,

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like play

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therapy,

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that makes sense.

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And I was like,

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oh,

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well,

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I'm glad,

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I'm glad that that made sense to you.

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And he goes,

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yeah,

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cause when you first said it,

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I was thinking like Les Mis.

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I about died.

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So I said,

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oh,

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Broadway play,

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and he goes,

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well,

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I mean,

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let's be real,

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all theater kids are really screwed up.

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Oh my Gosh.

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Oh,

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it was so funny.

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And I said,

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what's your name?

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He goes,

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Chris.

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I said,

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Chris,

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you have made it into my talk tomorrow,

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and you've made it into future stories that I'm going to tell.

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And he gave permission for me to share that.

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So,

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look,

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this is our reality.

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Play therapy is the screwed up Broadway kids

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who are in Les Mis doing fun things.

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I don't know.

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So this is why we have to be able to articulate this.

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This is why this series is so important.

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Because

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we have to understand CCPT

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in its purest form,

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we have to really go back to

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where this all began

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and understand exactly what it's all about before

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we can effectively communicate this to others so

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here we are.

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Episode 2 in the series and today

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we are talking about.

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Deeper philosophy that undergirds CCPT.

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Now remember last week we talked about Rogers and how he revolutionized therapy

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and the groundbreaking stuff that he brought into the psychology arena.

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Well,

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today we're going to look at the core tenets and the core conditions

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that make this model work.

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So

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here's,

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I think what's going to ground us.

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If you want to truly be CCPT because remember,

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we don't do CCPT we are.

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You have to embody these principles,

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not just sprinkle them in.

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So,

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in order for us to really embody these

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and fully be CCPT

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we have to understand the core tenets and the core conditions.

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So that's our deep dive today.

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So let's look at

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the first of the core tenants.

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The tendency to actualize.

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It all goes back to that.

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It is the inherent drive in every single human,

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including children.

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To grow and develop and to move towards self-fulfillment.

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And

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when we think about this,

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this is really at the heart of everything

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because we have to trust.

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That

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someone will want this for themselves.

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They will lead to their own healing.

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And this was true of Roger's work with adults.

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It's true of us with our work with children.

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The therapist's job,

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as we talked about last week,

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is not to fix,

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it's not to direct,

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it's not to interpret or analyze.

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It is to create an environment

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where this tendency will flourish.

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And I'm gonna quote Rogers here because I think this will

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really punctuate this.

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The organism,

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meaning

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a person,

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has one basic tendency and striving.

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To actualize,

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maintain,

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and enhance

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the experiencing organism.

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Let me say that again.

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The organism,

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the person has one basic tendency and striving.

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To actualize,

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maintain,

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and enhance

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the experiencing person.

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So,

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we have to go back to

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the entire premise

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upon which CCPT was built.

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Kids will naturally want to become a better version of themselves.

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So that's core tenant #1.

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Core tenant #2.

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Is the self concept.

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Essentially,

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if we define self-concept,

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it is the organized and consistent set of beliefs and perceptions

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that someone has about themselves.

287
00:08:49,119 --> 00:08:49,739
And

288
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,719
People often develop distorted self-concepts

289
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,229
based on conditions of worth.

290
00:08:57,109 --> 00:08:58,130
Essentially

291
00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,489
I'm only good if I

292
00:09:00,619 --> 00:09:01,489
make enough money.

293
00:09:01,979 --> 00:09:04,429
I'm only good if I'm treated well.

294
00:09:04,739 --> 00:09:06,960
I'm only good if I do what I'm told.

295
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:09,549
I'm only good if fill in the blank.

296
00:09:10,099 --> 00:09:14,830
So these distorted self concepts arise based on conditions of worth.

297
00:09:16,359 --> 00:09:18,159
And the beauty of

298
00:09:18,570 --> 00:09:21,599
person centered therapy and therefore CCPT.

299
00:09:22,650 --> 00:09:25,669
Is that it removes these conditions of worth.

300
00:09:26,729 --> 00:09:29,159
Because there's unconditional acceptance.

301
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:33,909
And this helps the person return to their true self

302
00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:37,570
before they developed a distorted self-concept.

303
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:43,049
You realize that we aren't born with self-concept distortions.

304
00:09:43,729 --> 00:09:44,729
They develop

305
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:46,700
So

306
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:50,090
when we remove conditions of worth for kids,

307
00:09:50,419 --> 00:09:52,770
and when Rogers removed them and

308
00:09:53,099 --> 00:09:55,530
hypothesized that the removal of them

309
00:09:56,099 --> 00:09:57,840
would do this for adults,

310
00:09:58,260 --> 00:10:01,429
all we have to do is offer unconditional acceptance.

311
00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:05,130
And people will return to their true selves.

312
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,789
Let me tell a really quick story that just

313
00:10:08,789 --> 00:10:11,340
happened right before I started report recording this podcast.

314
00:10:12,969 --> 00:10:14,450
Long story about the background,

315
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:15,000
but

316
00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:16,520
our son was asking something,

317
00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:19,719
and I wanted him to be really aware of the expectations.

318
00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:20,919
So I said,

319
00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:21,799
Son,

320
00:10:22,349 --> 00:10:23,559
come over here and look at me.

321
00:10:24,039 --> 00:10:25,130
So he walks over,

322
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:25,549
looks at me,

323
00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:25,890
and I said,

324
00:10:25,969 --> 00:10:27,679
we're about to institute a new and significant

325
00:10:27,679 --> 00:10:29,520
policy within the confines of this household.

326
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:31,400
He busts up laughing

327
00:10:31,770 --> 00:10:32,419
and says,

328
00:10:32,729 --> 00:10:34,169
you always get me with that.

329
00:10:34,729 --> 00:10:35,359
I was like,

330
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:35,880
hm,

331
00:10:36,119 --> 00:10:36,869
indeed.

332
00:10:37,359 --> 00:10:37,630
Thank you,

333
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:38,419
Gary Landreth.

334
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:38,880
OK,

335
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,239
so that was the first funny part.

336
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,429
The second funny part is,

337
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:41,989
I said,

338
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:42,580
OK,

339
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,260
so if you choose whatever,

340
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,109
then I said,

341
00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:48,429
you are choosing when I say it is time to go,

342
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,190
to immediately get up

343
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:51,150
and go.

344
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,330
So you're choosing not to say anything,

345
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,070
you're choosing not to dillydally.

346
00:10:55,830 --> 00:10:57,190
The these are the stakes.

347
00:10:57,359 --> 00:10:58,669
And if you choose to do those things,

348
00:10:58,880 --> 00:10:59,919
you're choosing consequences.

349
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,119
And so we go through the whole thing,

350
00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:03,719
which I'm sparing you the details for brevity's sake.

351
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:05,369
And

352
00:11:06,140 --> 00:11:06,929
I said,

353
00:11:07,340 --> 00:11:07,909
OK,

354
00:11:08,219 --> 00:11:08,830
so

355
00:11:09,390 --> 00:11:11,140
please repeat back to me the stakes.

356
00:11:11,260 --> 00:11:12,890
So he goes over everything and I said,

357
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:13,539
OK,

358
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:15,210
so just so that we're clear.

359
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:17,640
You are aware

360
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:21,159
of what you are choosing and what the outcomes will be.

361
00:11:21,909 --> 00:11:23,109
On both ends.

362
00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:25,820
If you choose to do what you're asked or if you choose not to,

363
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:26,270
I said,

364
00:11:26,349 --> 00:11:27,659
you know what you're gonna get.

365
00:11:27,989 --> 00:11:28,780
And he goes,

366
00:11:29,260 --> 00:11:31,619
and your unconditional love and acceptance.

367
00:11:33,830 --> 00:11:35,859
He's such a CCPT kid.

368
00:11:36,309 --> 00:11:39,739
He understands the notion of unconditional love and acceptance,

369
00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:43,169
and he gets it to the best of my ability

370
00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:44,460
every day of his life.

371
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:48,479
And this is the power

372
00:11:48,770 --> 00:11:52,080
of how self-concept can be healthily formed

373
00:11:52,489 --> 00:11:54,640
when we remove conditions of worth.

374
00:11:55,969 --> 00:11:57,440
Even if he chooses

375
00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:58,690
to not

376
00:11:59,210 --> 00:12:02,239
meet expectations when I say it is time to go.

377
00:12:03,179 --> 00:12:05,020
His worth doesn't change one bit.

378
00:12:05,969 --> 00:12:08,659
He is still unconditionally loved and accepted.

379
00:12:09,799 --> 00:12:13,469
Even though he's choosing consequences that I wouldn't have chosen for him.

380
00:12:15,229 --> 00:12:17,260
There's no conditions of worth.

381
00:12:18,450 --> 00:12:20,539
Because we have unconditional acceptance.

382
00:12:21,150 --> 00:12:23,659
That is how the self-concept is a tenant

383
00:12:23,969 --> 00:12:25,109
in Roger's work,

384
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,299
and then the third

385
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:29,080
is organismic valuing process.

386
00:12:30,599 --> 00:12:32,440
So fancy way to say.

387
00:12:33,390 --> 00:12:35,659
It's essentially our north star.

388
00:12:36,580 --> 00:12:38,539
Our internal compass

389
00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:42,609
that helps people evaluate what is good or not good

390
00:12:43,219 --> 00:12:44,770
based on their experience.

391
00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:47,460
So

392
00:12:47,619 --> 00:12:49,659
it's essentially this notion that

393
00:12:49,940 --> 00:12:51,260
we can determine

394
00:12:51,539 --> 00:12:52,330
what we need.

395
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,289
There is this intrinsic guide

396
00:12:55,539 --> 00:12:56,719
that we can follow

397
00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,450
to help us evaluate

398
00:12:58,659 --> 00:13:00,369
what we need and what we should do

399
00:13:00,599 --> 00:13:01,940
based on our experiences.

400
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:04,590
And Rogers believed

401
00:13:04,809 --> 00:13:07,169
that we are born with the ability.

402
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:10,369
To make choices that lead to our own growth.

403
00:13:11,460 --> 00:13:12,320
And we know this is true,

404
00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:13,719
we see it in the playroom all the time.

405
00:13:15,270 --> 00:13:18,330
And CCPT respects this process

406
00:13:18,659 --> 00:13:19,530
by not

407
00:13:19,780 --> 00:13:21,150
redirecting kids

408
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:23,210
by not correcting kids

409
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:26,380
by not overriding the child's choices.

410
00:13:26,659 --> 00:13:27,020
Why?

411
00:13:27,359 --> 00:13:29,210
Because we believe in the tenant

412
00:13:29,419 --> 00:13:34,140
that there is a valuing process every person has a valuing process and therefore.

413
00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:36,739
They get to decide

414
00:13:37,030 --> 00:13:41,619
what they need and want because they know what is going to be beneficial to them

415
00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:42,479
for growth.

416
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,010
So,

417
00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:47,119
we have our three tenants,

418
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:51,239
the tendency to actualize the self-concept and the valuing process.

419
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:53,210
So that

420
00:13:53,549 --> 00:13:55,460
sets us up with those 3.

421
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,179
Then

422
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,859
we also have to consider the 3 core conditions as well.

423
00:14:01,349 --> 00:14:02,909
I'm gonna quote Carl Rogers again.

424
00:14:04,049 --> 00:14:08,460
If these three core conditions are present in the therapeutic relationship,

425
00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:09,880
growth will occur.

426
00:14:11,390 --> 00:14:12,770
It's just that simple.

427
00:14:14,219 --> 00:14:16,380
It is that simple to say

428
00:14:16,669 --> 00:14:19,020
we provide unconditional positive regard.

429
00:14:19,770 --> 00:14:20,669
Empathy

430
00:14:21,239 --> 00:14:22,400
And congruence

431
00:14:23,229 --> 00:14:24,109
growth happens.

432
00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:26,270
And yes,

433
00:14:26,359 --> 00:14:27,469
there's other factors.

434
00:14:27,479 --> 00:14:27,719
Yes,

435
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,429
there's other skills we serve lots of roles

436
00:14:31,679 --> 00:14:32,549
in therapy,

437
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:33,400
but

438
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,469
these three core conditions are present and growth takes place.

439
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,750
So let's briefly look at each one.

440
00:14:39,119 --> 00:14:41,109
So we have unconditional positive regard,

441
00:14:41,239 --> 00:14:43,309
total acceptance of the child

442
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,390
or the person in Roger's case.

443
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,340
Regardless of their behaviors,

444
00:14:48,669 --> 00:14:50,179
regardless of their feelings,

445
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:51,780
their play,

446
00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:53,219
their attitude.

447
00:14:54,190 --> 00:14:55,179
We just

448
00:14:55,650 --> 00:14:57,419
completely and totally accept them.

449
00:14:59,239 --> 00:15:00,880
We don't correct.

450
00:15:01,679 --> 00:15:03,020
We don't praise,

451
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,429
we just accept.

452
00:15:06,559 --> 00:15:08,280
The child is never bad.

453
00:15:09,349 --> 00:15:11,539
Even when their behavior is inappropriate.

454
00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:15,650
Because they're valuable just as they are,

455
00:15:15,859 --> 00:15:16,969
they are accepted

456
00:15:17,179 --> 00:15:18,369
just as they are.

457
00:15:20,390 --> 00:15:20,950
For example,

458
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,900
when a child is acting aggressively.

459
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:27,590
Unconditional positive regard means that we reflect their feelings

460
00:15:27,909 --> 00:15:29,059
without judgment

461
00:15:29,469 --> 00:15:30,590
with neutrality.

462
00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:33,059
With a calm center,

463
00:15:33,210 --> 00:15:33,640
why?

464
00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:36,799
Because we unconditionally accept them.

465
00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:39,419
That is the

466
00:15:39,950 --> 00:15:42,349
representation of what Rogers described as

467
00:15:42,349 --> 00:15:44,429
unconditional positive regard toward adults.

468
00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:46,940
That's the 1st,

469
00:15:46,969 --> 00:15:48,179
2nd core condition.

470
00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:49,599
Empathy

471
00:15:50,940 --> 00:15:52,400
It is our ability

472
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:54,330
to deeply understand.

473
00:15:55,010 --> 00:15:56,059
The child's world

474
00:15:57,559 --> 00:15:59,989
As if we were experiencing it ourselves.

475
00:16:00,239 --> 00:16:03,710
We're basically trying to operationalize the child's experience

476
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,559
and see things through their eyes.

477
00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:10,979
And we do this by reflecting feelings.

478
00:16:12,469 --> 00:16:15,039
And we do that because it communicates.

479
00:16:15,419 --> 00:16:15,650
I,

480
00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:16,570
I get it.

481
00:16:16,940 --> 00:16:17,969
I get you,

482
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:19,250
I get this moment,

483
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,729
I get this experience.

484
00:16:21,020 --> 00:16:21,580
I get it.

485
00:16:23,059 --> 00:16:23,969
It builds

486
00:16:24,260 --> 00:16:25,500
safety and connection.

487
00:16:28,299 --> 00:16:29,210
And

488
00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:30,210
it's not

489
00:16:30,539 --> 00:16:33,010
where we just acknowledge that the child is sad.

490
00:16:34,219 --> 00:16:34,900
It's

491
00:16:35,609 --> 00:16:37,020
Your heart is hurting.

492
00:16:37,409 --> 00:16:38,880
You didn't know what to do.

493
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:43,200
We actually try to jump into their experience

494
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,359
and really truly understand what's taking place.

495
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,130
This is empathy.

496
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:52,210
It's not just a superficial reflection of feelings,

497
00:16:52,409 --> 00:16:53,340
which that's helpful.

498
00:16:53,409 --> 00:16:54,400
We need to say

499
00:16:54,609 --> 00:16:55,559
you're sad.

500
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,590
But we also need to think,

501
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,150
what's going on behind the sadness.

502
00:17:02,599 --> 00:17:06,790
Your heart is hurting and you have no idea what to do about it.

503
00:17:08,159 --> 00:17:11,598
That is at the core the empathy that Rogers brings.

504
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:13,060
And

505
00:17:13,229 --> 00:17:14,858
I think maybe most importantly,

506
00:17:15,390 --> 00:17:18,400
it is empathy without interpretation.

507
00:17:20,189 --> 00:17:22,979
We do not analyze the behavior.

508
00:17:23,550 --> 00:17:25,420
We just try to attune to it.

509
00:17:26,489 --> 00:17:28,019
It isn't about analysis,

510
00:17:28,098 --> 00:17:29,369
it's not about interpretation,

511
00:17:29,458 --> 00:17:31,489
it's not about figuring out anything.

512
00:17:31,979 --> 00:17:33,499
It's just being attuned.

513
00:17:33,779 --> 00:17:35,369
It's about being engaged

514
00:17:35,859 --> 00:17:39,688
and really trying to understand what it is like for the child in that moment.

515
00:17:41,229 --> 00:17:42,099
That's empathy,

516
00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:44,160
and then finally we have congruence.

517
00:17:45,329 --> 00:17:48,449
And we spent an entire month on congruence in the Collective

518
00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:49,750
because

519
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,430
this is something that is not talked about enough

520
00:17:52,959 --> 00:17:53,920
in therapy as a,

521
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:54,640
as a rule,

522
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,079
but then also especially in CCPT.

523
00:17:58,790 --> 00:18:00,609
So when we're trying to be congruent.

524
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,060
We're trying to be

525
00:18:03,199 --> 00:18:03,750
real.

526
00:18:04,510 --> 00:18:06,270
We're trying to be transparent.

527
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,560
We're trying to be authentic.

528
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,839
We're not hiding behind

529
00:18:12,239 --> 00:18:13,469
our professionalism.

530
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,339
We're not hiding behind our skill set.

531
00:18:16,839 --> 00:18:18,290
We're not hiding behind

532
00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:19,449
our status.

533
00:18:21,099 --> 00:18:24,699
We're bringing our authentic self into the relationship.

534
00:18:26,650 --> 00:18:27,199
What

535
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:31,000
Can I do to be fully present?

536
00:18:31,969 --> 00:18:33,400
To be fully honest.

537
00:18:34,410 --> 00:18:36,599
To be emotionally available.

538
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,910
These are really tough.

539
00:18:41,699 --> 00:18:42,709
Tasks,

540
00:18:42,959 --> 00:18:46,199
it is not easy to be fully congruent in a play session.

541
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,900
And I think the,

542
00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:51,569
the unknown or the fear and why a lot

543
00:18:51,569 --> 00:18:55,079
of therapists don't really practice congruence as they should.

544
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,670
I think there's a perception that it's about sharing your feelings.

545
00:19:00,199 --> 00:19:04,510
I have to tell the child that I'm upset or I have to tell the child that I'm excited or

546
00:19:05,319 --> 00:19:07,750
it's not about sharing your feelings with the child.

547
00:19:08,319 --> 00:19:10,869
It's about being inwardly aligned

548
00:19:11,079 --> 00:19:12,589
with your feelings in the moment.

549
00:19:13,910 --> 00:19:14,709
In other words,

550
00:19:16,060 --> 00:19:18,130
When kids say and do things in the playroom,

551
00:19:18,459 --> 00:19:18,849
we

552
00:19:19,020 --> 00:19:20,599
get emotional reactions to that.

553
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,380
We're humans.

554
00:19:22,550 --> 00:19:23,349
We

555
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:27,760
experience the whole spectrum of emotions in play sessions.

556
00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:32,739
Congruence means that we acknowledge what we're feeling internally.

557
00:19:33,709 --> 00:19:36,140
And we use that to remain grounded.

558
00:19:36,660 --> 00:19:37,449
In other words,

559
00:19:37,859 --> 00:19:39,920
we're not pretending that we're unaffected.

560
00:19:40,619 --> 00:19:42,010
We're being true

561
00:19:42,530 --> 00:19:45,880
and present and honest with what we're experiencing.

562
00:19:46,939 --> 00:19:51,530
Because the minute we try to pretend we're not affected or we try to hide it or mask it,

563
00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:53,550
we're no longer being genuine.

564
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,380
Now all of a sudden we've introduced incongruence into the relationship

565
00:19:58,729 --> 00:19:59,839
and it fractures it.

566
00:20:01,619 --> 00:20:05,349
So the goal of congruence is to just be aware

567
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:06,630
of your feelings,

568
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,160
make sure that it's aligned.

569
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,790
That is really powerful in our work with kids.

570
00:20:13,829 --> 00:20:14,359
OK.

571
00:20:14,670 --> 00:20:15,420
So let me

572
00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:16,589
kind of wrap this up.

573
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:18,750
These

574
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,000
core conditions and these core tenants.

575
00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:24,250
These are not techniques.

576
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,469
Let me be really clear.

577
00:20:26,829 --> 00:20:28,469
These are ways of being.

578
00:20:30,219 --> 00:20:31,050
We are

579
00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:32,140
CCPT.

580
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,260
We are these core conditions.

581
00:20:35,339 --> 00:20:36,189
We are

582
00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:38,180
respectful of these core tenants.

583
00:20:38,260 --> 00:20:38,619
Why?

584
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:40,109
Because

585
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:40,910
we don't.

586
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,530
Switch on and off this stuff.

587
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,689
It's at the core of the relationship.

588
00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:48,770
It always comes back to the relationship.

589
00:20:50,189 --> 00:20:51,729
And our effectiveness

590
00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:53,910
and what we're able to accomplish.

591
00:20:55,609 --> 00:20:56,280
It's

592
00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:00,630
predicated on these conditions being consistently present.

593
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:04,349
And here's I think where.

594
00:21:05,239 --> 00:21:06,310
We kind of land here.

595
00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:09,859
You can't use

596
00:21:10,150 --> 00:21:11,349
CCPT techniques.

597
00:21:12,260 --> 00:21:13,699
You cannot

598
00:21:14,109 --> 00:21:14,939
use

599
00:21:15,790 --> 00:21:17,109
everything that we're talking about.

600
00:21:17,550 --> 00:21:19,670
This isn't about a skill to be used.

601
00:21:21,329 --> 00:21:22,949
You have to embody

602
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,239
CCPT principles.

603
00:21:28,239 --> 00:21:28,680
If you,

604
00:21:28,719 --> 00:21:30,310
if we're not embodying

605
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:31,760
the philosophy.

606
00:21:32,939 --> 00:21:34,439
And what it's all about.

607
00:21:35,650 --> 00:21:37,359
Using the techniques

608
00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:38,400
is pointless.

609
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,800
If we are just using the techniques,

610
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,439
we're just practicing CCPT.

611
00:21:46,979 --> 00:21:49,380
You're not being CCPT,

612
00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:50,709
you're mimicking it.

613
00:21:53,099 --> 00:21:54,449
We don't want to mimic

614
00:21:54,699 --> 00:21:55,560
CCPT.

615
00:21:55,619 --> 00:21:56,810
We want to be

616
00:21:57,099 --> 00:21:57,939
CCPT.

617
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,020
So I hope that that

618
00:22:02,180 --> 00:22:03,010
is meaningful.

619
00:22:03,099 --> 00:22:05,410
I hope that it reminds you of

620
00:22:05,819 --> 00:22:07,040
what this is all about.

621
00:22:07,420 --> 00:22:08,609
In the next episode,

622
00:22:08,699 --> 00:22:12,050
we're going to look at what we've talked about so far

623
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:15,689
and how that influenced Axline's principles

624
00:22:16,020 --> 00:22:18,089
and the formalization

625
00:22:18,479 --> 00:22:19,510
of CCPT.

626
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,089
So hopefully

627
00:22:22,380 --> 00:22:26,060
we'll kind of evolve as this theory unfolds.

628
00:22:26,099 --> 00:22:26,819
And

629
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:32,219
I think it would be helpful this week to figure out for yourself.

630
00:22:33,530 --> 00:22:35,089
Where are you embracing

631
00:22:36,109 --> 00:22:36,979
These

632
00:22:37,229 --> 00:22:38,599
things that we're talking about,

633
00:22:38,949 --> 00:22:43,229
and where are you still maybe struggling or falling back on old patterns.

634
00:22:44,829 --> 00:22:47,219
Where do you feel your strengths are?

635
00:22:47,709 --> 00:22:50,099
Where do you feel like your areas for growth are?

636
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:52,290
Because

637
00:22:52,579 --> 00:22:53,689
this is about

638
00:22:54,020 --> 00:22:55,760
being CCPT,

639
00:22:56,140 --> 00:22:57,849
not doing it or mimicking it.

640
00:22:58,890 --> 00:23:02,880
So what is holding you back from fully being CCPT?

641
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:04,699
And

642
00:23:04,949 --> 00:23:06,900
how can you work on that this week?

643
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:08,260
So that's your

644
00:23:08,469 --> 00:23:09,500
friendly challenge.

645
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,729
Everyone loves a good challenge every now and then,

646
00:23:11,750 --> 00:23:12,180
right?

647
00:23:12,900 --> 00:23:13,359
All right,

648
00:23:13,510 --> 00:23:14,109
I love y'all.

649
00:23:14,229 --> 00:23:15,260
I'm glad to be home.

650
00:23:15,449 --> 00:23:17,670
Thank you for all of the messages and the prayers

651
00:23:17,670 --> 00:23:20,339
and the thoughts about me traveling and being gone,

652
00:23:20,869 --> 00:23:21,550
and

653
00:23:21,829 --> 00:23:22,930
you all mean so,

654
00:23:22,949 --> 00:23:23,750
so much to me.

655
00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:24,339
So

656
00:23:24,550 --> 00:23:25,780
hopefully soon,

657
00:23:26,069 --> 00:23:27,060
wherever you are,

658
00:23:27,310 --> 00:23:29,869
we will have a podcast meet up and I'll get to meet you in person.

659
00:23:30,390 --> 00:23:31,819
It's my favorite thing

660
00:23:31,989 --> 00:23:37,180
to put faces with names and to have a connection to you all as my audience,

661
00:23:37,189 --> 00:23:37,619
so

662
00:23:38,020 --> 00:23:39,260
looking forward to more

663
00:23:39,829 --> 00:23:40,459
meetups.

664
00:23:40,709 --> 00:23:43,859
I'm also looking forward to a new live event that we're scheduling,

665
00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:45,030
so stay tuned for that.

666
00:23:45,229 --> 00:23:46,540
That first one was

667
00:23:47,270 --> 00:23:47,780
crazy.

668
00:23:47,910 --> 00:23:49,540
So many of you were on it and I've had so

669
00:23:49,540 --> 00:23:52,150
many people emailing me when are we gonna do another one?

670
00:23:52,270 --> 00:23:54,780
So we're gonna have a new live event soon as well.

671
00:23:55,099 --> 00:23:55,229
All right,

672
00:23:55,349 --> 00:23:55,709
love you all.

673
00:23:55,750 --> 00:23:56,560
We'll talk again soon.

674
00:23:56,750 --> 00:23:56,949
Bye.

675
00:23:58,219 --> 00:24:00,979
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

676
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,079
Brenna Hicks.

677
00:24:02,260 --> 00:24:04,250
For more episodes and resources,

678
00:24:04,339 --> 00:24:09,089
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.