Under the CineMat Ep. 110: Carnies Are Forever: Dr. No (Preview)

Hey, folks, this is a very special offer here on the main feed.
It's Under the Cinemat as we embark on a brand new journey for this
Patreon exclusive series. And of course if you don't know, you should know
by now the Boss Man runs point on Under the Cinemat as a lifetime cinephile,
and folks to get acquainted I think boss here as we share a very
special look at the very first installment of I guess in some ways the first
Under the Cinemat journey or the first of it's kind, the first of it's
kind, because it's definitely we've done journeys before, but they've never been this
massive. They've been more compact, maybe you know, four to six movies,
you know, for the most part, but this is going a full
twenty one as of now, it could change on the line. We have
twenty one movies that qualify for Under the Cinemat in the James Bond series.
So it is definitely the Carnies are forever tour without disruck us that this is,
you know, as good a time as ever if you've ever considered joining
us on the Executive Producer and Above tier on Patreon dot com, slash the
lapsed fan and getting access to under the cinemat. This is probably a good
place to to get involved, especially if you have any affinity as so many
do for the Bond franchise. Bost Own a little bit about how we're approaching
this and why it qualifies and all the above for folks that are about to
hear a quick preview, a free preview of the first episode of the series,
Well, this is a sneak preview. It's and I'll tell you what
there's I think we're the only podcast in the world where a sneak preview is
actually like a three hour episode. That's a sneak preview. But what we're
this qualifies. I mean, the reason why I chose this too was because
because I had a I was able to gather so many movies. If it's
like, you know, I don't want to just do a whole Bond tour,
a Bond journey if it's you know, not even half the movies.
But when you have the majority of the films that have been released to me,
that is the time to do it. And to be clear, when
you say have the majority of the films, you mean a majority of the
films have a pro wrestler in it. Yes, yes, And in fact
there's only one so far that it only relies on an inspiration. But twenty
of the twenty one movies have a pro wrestler involved in some way on screen.
And we're talking about, you know, no slouches, people that became
much more famous as participants in the Bond franchise and even as grapplers, including
Harold Sakata odd job. Yep. It's wonderful opportunity to get acquainted with,
you know, grapplers of like the fifties and the sixties who were equal parts
actors, yes, and wrestlers that we would otherwise never have a chance to
address on the lapsed fan. It's always been my favorite part about doing cinemat
is discovering these people and being able to give them a profile. And I'm
not I'm not doing this. I'm not you know, I'm not trying toot
my own horn, even though I have no problem tooting my own horn.
But the the idea is that a lot of these people that we dive into
and that we are able to rediscover, they don't have the appropriate biography,
they don't have the the the you know, the legacy perhaps that in terms
of in terms of on paper, like going to an internet website. You
know, they don't necessarily have a Wikipedia, they don't don't necessarily have much
information out there about them. But I'm the wrestling careers in particular aren't really
storied enough to justify a wrestling exclusive look. But when you combine that with,
you know, the contributions they made to cinema, it becomes like an
absolute, totally what we do, totally absolutely, And for Doctor No,
we have our first glimpse of Milton read Milton Reid, who who would portray
his character would be Okay, so I'm not going to give away too much
from the episode, but it's a it's a a British Man born in India
who would portray in the wrestling ring, a Chinese character. Stop me when
there's a problem, stop me when there's a surprise or a twist. It's
he's he's got a a very wild, a wild career without a doubt.
And and I'm happy to be able to bring this little the sneak peaked everybody.
Yeah, this would be really cool and we hope serves as a nice
entry for those who have wondered about cinemat We can't tell you how thrilling it
is to hear from members of the Solar System who say, look, yeah,
it's become the routine has become new. Cinemat drops make plans to watch
the movie, even perhaps with the significant other, believe it or not.
Yep. And because what we do, what boss Man does really is is
kind of like a you know, a research heavy walk up to the episode,
so you know all you need to know not only about the film's legacy
and heritage, but but a wrestler that may have a minor or a major
role in the movie. And then we go into a watch along where you
can, you know, put put us in your earbuds, maybe just one
earbud, watch the movie along with us, and you know that mystery science
three thousand we can do you know the score, you know what we deliver
three affinity for movies. Man, this is where it's at. Yeah.
Yeah, but even if you don't, honestly, I think that there's a
I try to bring in a lot of a lot of the different components that
if even if you're not like big into you know, not a movie fan
per se, but there's the stories there can be so wild and and you
know, like I think of in the past, like the Fugitive episode with
there was just so much leading up to the movie itself. You know,
you don't even need to be a fan of the movie to really enjoy all
the wacky and really harrowing stories that went along with it. So we've given
you several sneak previews and under the cinemat here in the main feed over the
years, but this is one where if you get on the train now,
it's going to keep delivering and unfolding before you as this journey plays out.
So we do hope you enjoy this sneak peek at our coverage of Doctor No
the very first James Bond movie to take place, setting the table for all
that is to come. And of course we are obliged before we get to
that, to remind you that we are in game mode. Yes, your
coach chairmen are in the fucking lab, because at noontime on April seventh,
at Punchline Philly in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, your coach chairs take the stage one
more time WrestleMania Weekend. It's tlf's inaugural Biceps, Bozos and Bullshit Brunch yes,
and you know all about it by now. But on the off chance
that you're still on the fence, let me tell you things are falling into
place such that this is a can't miss afternoon. It's not a coincidence that
ww scrambled to announce the Slammies up against us. It's not a coincidence that
some other chump change clubs in Philly, who who didn't see the vision when
presented to them, are now scrambling to book wrestling adjacent things on WrestleMania week
as well. Philly didn't know what was coming. They thought the crack and
the liberty bell was the only crack that that belt would ever see. And
by the time we come through swinging the hammer, you better believe that thing
will have several fissures. Let me tell you this, that's that's not the
only crack that we'll be penetrating. That's not the only crack well that will
be distributed. That's right, your damn. That has nothing to do with
us. But it's true, particularly in Kensington, from what I understand.
Oh really, but we are just so gassed for this, so excited.
If you've been watching our socials, you know all about it. We've got
some great friends from the state up comedy world. You've heard from them already
in some uh in some instances on the on the feed. Lamire Lee among
them, who's a high high end comedian who were really excited to have his
take on wrestling. Ray Goots will be with us hold Murderer's row, Ryan
Shane or Dave Pintowski. We're so very excited. It's funny, you know,
I wonder do they even know what they're in for even though we've even
though we've chatted with them. You know, I'll say this, I'll say
this when we chat with them. I think we're being polite. We haven't
been let loose yet. They don't know the fire that burns in the eyes
of the TF solars. You damn right. They don't realize the the wolf
like vigid visage on every head in that Punchline Philly audience. That afternoon.
It may be the afternoon, folks, but it's going to be dark in
there. Oh yes, it's going to be quite dark. And the reason
for that is that's what the atmosphere calls for, That's what the moment calls
for, and TF always rises to the moment it's always darkest before the dawn,
thank you very much. And so if you are at all on the
fence, you need to quit that shit. You need to get it right
and you need to not miss this thing because if you're not in attendance at
Punchline Philly, it's it's going to be lost to you. It's going to
be lost to you. And so for a very limited time, but we're
closing the window. We don't know exactly when we're going to slam it shut,
but we've got to wrap this up here pretty soon in terms of making
sure that we can get this Terry Funk branding iron put into the hands of
someone who deserves it. If you haven't heard by now, we obtained a
Terryfunk branding iron from his estate sale as part of our Lapsed Funk series last
year into this year, and we are giving it away via Raffle to whoever
wins on April seventh the Punchline Philly. So if you had to Punchlinephilly dot
com and purchase tickets to the Bozos Biceps in Bullshit Brunch, you will be
entered into the Raffle. Every ticket you buy gets you an entry. In
fact, if you buy a preferred seat, and there are not many of
those left in the splash zone, so to speak, front row with your
co chairs, it's the zone we're going to get really dirty. Each one
of those preferred seats gets you two entries into the raffle, and then every
general admission ticket gets you one. As many tickets as you want to buy
is as many entries as you're going to get. We're going to get on
stage. We're going to put into a half all the names and as many
denominations as as appropriate per person, and we're going to pull the winner,
and we're going to award a one of a kind to keepsake. They're at
the Bozos Biceps in Bullshit Brunch and we're privileged to be able to do it
on behalf of the greatest miles from minutes from we should say, the arena
where he took the the menace that that branding iron can represent to a whole
new level in the ECW arena. It's very appropriate. It wasn't by design,
but as always happens around here TLFX style, it all falls into place
serendipitously, damn right, And so don't miss your opportunity again. The rules.
If you buy the tickets to the show and you want to be in
the raffle for the branding iron, you have to send us proof of purchase
to the lapsed fan at gmail dot com and try to here. Here's the
thing too, Just admit to yourself particular podcast. That's number one. Admit
to yourself that you know what You've got that ache. Yes, you've got
that ache inside you. You have a real need to find out what the
fuck is gonna go out and go down in Philly. What's gonna happen?
Where's all the gallery of lapsed characters that didn't stay silent? You think there's
not a whole fucking series of categories of places we haven't gone to yet on
the main feed. The first thing you have to do is admit that to
yourself and then don't fight it. Just allow yourself that ability to be pleased,
please yourself, pleasure yourself. That's right. Understand that there's no way
out. The only way you get through WrestleMania weekend and not feel empty again
is to understand and the truth and witness the truth in front of you,
and not finish the story, friends, but finish the allegory. I've been
working on getting the names pulled together for the Funk Branding Iron auction and been
reaching out to folks and saying, okay, then you're qualified for this.
This is to confirm X, Y and Z think sure all of our ducks
are in row. And I was phrasing it as you know, if you
don't want to be entered for some reason into the Funk Raffle and you sent
us a proof of purchase for another reason, let us know if you don't
want to be entered, and shout out to the homie Matt, who immediately
said, that's the first time you've ever asked permission. Woo. He said,
yes, enter me. So if you too want to be entered.
On April seventh, the Punchline Philly for an opportunity to win an authentic Terry
Funk Branding Iron, buy the tickets, send us proof of purchase to the
Lapsed Fan at gmail dot com, and please try to be specific about whether
you bought ga or preferred seating. We can kind to tell from the receipt,
but it doesn't always say so. It'd be nice to be able to
have that nice and easy for us and make sure you get the proper representation
in the raffle pool that you deserve for your purchase. Get that to us.
There's only days left. Honestly, there will come a point where someone
sends us a proof of purchase and we'll have to reply and say sorry,
we decided we don't have enough time left to make sure that everybody gets the
fair shot and lined up, because we've got a lot of preparations to do,
a lot of pieces to fall into place. So we'll leave it there
for now and get you on too. The preview of the ongoing Bond series,
what is it Boss Carney's or Forever Barney's Are Forever? That being a
play on upcoming James Bond film in the In the Journeyed Diamonds are forever and
we are forever. GLFX ain't shit By the time it's all said and done,
Yes, let April seventh punchline, Philly, the bozos biceps and brunch
bullshit be further evidence and a living testimony to that fact. Do you say
bozos biceps in brunch bullshit? We sure I certainly did. That's what's brilliant
about the four mees. You can mix and match them that's right. You
want. You can have the brunch bullshit, biceps and bacon or boot whatever
it bosos, whatever the fuck it is. It's my whole fucking point.
The idea is you decide in which order they should be presented by the time
the curtain closes on the real main event of the weekend coming up April seventh,
Philadelphia TLF Live on stage. Get it so, let's get on with
it. Boss, you got it? The lapsed fan presents under the Cinemat.
Yeah, I love to talk film. I have come here to chew
bubble gum and kick as a break. God, you're going nowhere under the
cinemat, Get it out, Get it out. I pick up guns.
Bad things happen to people. I don't like that. We have a movie
to make. Can we all pull together here? Make movies? He had
a feeling that this might be the CIA man. He knew he was right
as they strolled off together towards the bar, after he had thrown a plaque
of ten mil to the croupier and had given him a me to the whosier,
who drew back his chair. My name is Felix Leiter, said the
American, glad to meet you Mine's Bond. James Bond, Welcome to the
Carnies are Forever journey. We start with a prescription from Doctor No that is
shaken and not stirred under the cinemat wohow is it journey time? It is
journey time? Is there a connection in every single Bond movie? Not every
single one that I could find, but twenty of the twenty seven recognized James
Bond films have a wrestling connection, So you have to think that everyone qualifies,
even if they're not among those select few. Ah, I'm willing to
let a few kind of hang on the edges in case we find something later
on. I think your plan to do all of them. My plan is
to do twenty the twenty ones that the twenty of them that do have the
wrestling connection. Yeah, so delicious. The next twenty weeks, Yeah,
the next twenty centemats are going to be Bond focused. And what makes it
interesting too? And the reason so there there are the reason why I decided
to pull the trigger because I've always been kind of like, you know,
I wanted to, but I wanted to make sure that we can at least
connect all the dots. Maybe we don't go to every movie, but we
can connect all the dots. And the beauty of this is that not only
does it have the twenty five what are called the Eon Films, the production
company Eon Films that produce most of them, but it also includes the two
Rogue Bond films, the original Casino Royale from the sixties and Never Say Never
again. I don't know anything about these, yeah, yep, So it's
going to be a total blast. And not only that, but we because
of because of the connections, we get to study every actor to have played
James Bond. Oh, so terrific. It covers each era of the whole
up until the very end. So it's it's very exciting. It's very exciting
for me because I am not as familiar with the franchise as I should be.
You know, it's funny one of those that I would never make the
time to watch, yep, because it's a lot, you know, it's
a lot to do and and you know, as we'll see too, you
know, there is a formula. There is such a formula to these films
that kind of get established. Not I wouldn't say the more recent ones,
the ones with Daniel Craig are different. Because that actually was it was its
own arc, like it kind of in a way stands alone from all the
other Bond films, which basically are like they because they run with character,
you know, like they have the same kind of background characters and stuff.
They all kind of run the same. It's like you have this everybody else
behind him grows older, but James Bond manages to stay the same because they
keep hiring younger actors as the time goes on, you know. But yeah,
it's uh, it's it's wild. I mean, my my heyday in
the in Bond fandom was definitely high school. That was I'll never forget a
There was a trailer. God, I can't remember this that my friend from
high school and I used to love, well Francis Hoapiano, who I went
to wrestling. You're fourteen, ye and uh and you know from No Mercy
absolutely, so you know him better, you know him better from No Mercy.
But he so, he and I found a trailer that was attached to
all the vhs cassets of the Bonding. They they really like they they had
released like really brand new versions of the Bond films in the mid nineties to
celebrate Pierce Brasen becoming the new Bond, and they had an intro at the
beginning. It started off looking for a little piece and Quiet didn't think so,
and then it goes to the whole like explosions and all that shit,
and it was it was great, and we used to love that whole thing.
And so we would watch all the you know, as many of the
Bond films as we could, but I never saw all of them. And
it's exciting because I will be able to complete the complete, the full set
because I haven't seen all of them myself. There are definitely a few that
have that have managed to fall between the cracks. So it's it's going to
be a wild, wild journey. And there's no better way to begin unless
you have something else you want to say before we get going. No,
let's do it all right, Our journey begins, Okay, the Carnies are
forever. Journey begins in Canterbury, Kent, England, on May twenty eighth,
nineteen eighty, with the birth of Ian Lancaster Fleming, who is the
author of the original books. His mother, Eve or she was Evelyn but
called her Eve Fleming, was a British social light and apparently it was renowned
for her famboyant fashion personality and the whole thing. His father was. It
was named Valentine valent maybe Valentine, maybe Valentine, I don't know, but
it's spelled Valentine, like Greg the Hammer, Greg the Hammer. Valentine Fleming.
Maybe that worked for you. It was fine for me, all right,
to the extent that matters. He was the son of a Scottish investment
banker named Robert Fleming, and he this the Fleming family, very very posh,
very you know, high up, you know, upper class, Yes,
of course, really knows. And Valentine Fleming was a Member of Parliament
of the Conservative part of Parliament before serving in World War One, where he
was killed died in action May twentieth, nineteen seventeen, and an oh bit
was printed in the London Times on May twenty fifth, nineteen seventeen, written
by his friend and fellow officer Winston Churchill. Oh my, yeah, this
Winston Churchill on that cast. That's right. This is the This is the
o bit dated May fifth, nineteen seventeen. This news will cause sorrow in
Oxfordshire and in the House of Commons and whatever. The Member of the Henry
Division was well known. Valentine Fleming was one of those younger conservatives who easily
and naturally come loyalty to party ties. With a broad liberal outlook upon affairs
and a total absence of class prejudice, he was most earnest and sincere in
his desire to make things better for the great body of the people, and
had cleared his mind of all particularist tendencies. He was a man of thoughtful
and tolerant opinions which were not the less strongly or clearly held because they were
not loudly or frequently asserted. The violence of faction and the fierce tumults that
which swayed our political life up to the very threshold of the Great War,
caused him a keen distress. He could not share the extravagant passions with which
the arrival parties confronted with each other. He felt acutely that neither was wholly
right in policy, and that both were wrong in mood. Although he could
probably have held the Henry Division as long as he cared to fight it,
he decided to withdraw from public life rather than become involved in conflicts whose bitterness
seemed so far to succeed the practical issues at stake. Friends were not wanting
on both sides of their house to urge him to remain and to encourage him
to display the solid abilities he possessed. It is possible we should, we
should have prevailed. He shared the hopes to which so many of his generations
respond, of a better, fairer, more efficient public life and the parliamentary
system arising out of these trials. But events have pursued a different course.
As a yeomanry officer, he always took the greatest pains to feed himself of
military duties. There was scarcely an instrumental course open before the war to the
territorial forces at which he had not availed himself, and an immobilization. There
were few more competent civilian soldiers of his rank. The Oxfordshire Hussahs were the
first, and almost the first, were the first in almost the first yeomanry
regiment to come under the fire of the enemy, and in the first battle
of the of ePRESS epresss ipress ypr s you know no acquitted themselves with credit.
He had been nearly three years in France as squadron leader or second in
command, and had been twice mentioned in dispatches before the cell which ended his
life found him. From the beginning, his letters showed the deep emotions which
the devastation and carnage of the struggle aroused in his brain. Totally is the
emotion is like forty paragraphs, but also the The ghostwriter was William Shakespeare in
case of course, uh from the beginning of the but the strength and buoyancy
of his nature were proofs against the sombrilizations of his mind. He never for
a moment flagged or worried or lost spirits, alert, methodical, resolute,
untiring. He did his work, whether perilous or dull, without the slightest
sign of strain or stress. To the end quote, we all of us,
writes a brother officer were devoted to him. The loss to the regiment
is indescribable. He was, as you know, absolutely our best officer,
utterly feel is, full of resource, and perfectly magnificent with his men.
Unquote. His passion in his passion in sport was dear stalking. What dear
stalking, I guess hunting deer would be the more prominent way, more modern
way to say it. His passion in sport was dear stalking in his much
loved native Scotland. He rode well and sometimes brilliantly, to hounds. Sometimes
he wrote well, sometimes brilliantly to hounds, and was always a gay and
excellent companion. Yeah it is. It's a yeah, hunting deer in the
dramatic mountainous lowland and forested landscapes of Scotland. Which is such a good You
know, we have my friend. We have a free week found. You
know, I was wondering, do we have a free weekend coming up?
I was wondering what I want to what do you want to do? What
do you want to do? Well, you know I was thinking, good
friend, good old chap, what about deer stalking in Scotland. Well,
it sounds like a jolly let's go do it. Let's let's let's don't think
of let's have let's have a go, let's have a go song. I'm
going I'm a Scottish accent. By the way, he's not, I mean
he's not. He was hoity twenty British, even though he was from Scottish
Scotland. It was like Scotland, Yes, we'll we'll go over there.
I suppose we can do you know we could do we go all the way
up in Scotland. Sounds go with you. It's rather dodgy, dodgy,
a little bit of that in Scotland. But you know they do have the
catheless, let me tell you they do. Nonetheless, I have the best
deer stalking in the entire you know, entire unaged kingdom. Well, I'm
like me at nine when after raw finished, I had the best silk stocking.
He has everything in the world to make him happy, delightful home life,
active, interesting, expanding business occupations. Okay, how well do you
know, Valentine your host work? Well, you know my good job is.
You know, I'll tell you that the business is active, it's interesting
and standing. Oh very good, I would less I see a question,
boss. Yes. Over the years, on both the main pod and under
the Cinemat, we've long rejoiced, you know, had great laughs at the
fact that buried in newspaper archives or you know, forgotten articles that nobody else
besides us would ever think to retrieve, let alone read and read broadcast for
a podcast. And we talk a lot right about these pseudonymous like never known
outside of their hometown sports writers whose pieces we often read to get closer to
the wrestling of their era, particularly you know, going back seventy sixties,
fifties, forties. Sure, and we have a lot of fun talking about
how this author never thought that they would end up on our wrestling podcast,
or even what a podcast was, as we completely and thoroughly lampoon their word
choice, their background, and their manner. Now among that that list,
as we sit here today begetting the James Bond Journey under the cinemat, we
could have the name of Winston Churchill. We have, you have p.
Duren whatever from fucking During Proctor from Santa Rosa, and you've got Winston Churchill.
I can't use all my stuff about how no one ever heard of this
person and they wanted to die anonymously. No, Winston Churchill kind of a
bigger deal than that. Yeah, yeah, you know what. Hey t
lf X, all right, that's all I got to say about that.
Look, the question has to be asked, is it Winston Churchill's turn Scotland?
Of course, forget Scotland. Oh, you're such a you know what
you are, Valentine, you are a game excellent companion. Ah, you
shouldn't have said that. It was so you know, really you know what
you are. That's fucking great. I can hear the echoes in the chamber
with like a sky high library bookshelf in the room. He said that they're
making cigarettes and cigarette holders, you know, just leaning back that it's reading
encyclopedias. Oh, I'll bugger off, mate. It it's not it's it's
it's it's not just that level of praise. Isn't this hardly justified? Winston?
I do appreciate. I mean, you know, I do wonder if
I ever you know, my friend to the end, I do wonder if
anything happened to my face, I got smashed in the face by somebody,
would you pump blood into my heart? Well, that's hell of a question
to put a phone on the spot where there I know, I don't know.
I've never thought of that. Really, that's it a brittish answer.
It's like, that's not a yes. Did you just try to mask the
fact that you wouldn't save my life by saying I've never thought of that?
Really, it's quite interesting in it. It's quis notions you bring up there,
friend, you know, definitely to tell you what do you know that
this evening I will consider it, and I will. We can touch back
upon it tomorrow morning, or at this guy's home could be actively on fire
and he'd say, it's a bit of a problem, isn't it. Oh,
Look, anyway, have you noticed the Valentine? Have you noticed there's
a fire. It's blazing over three quarters of your house. Anyway, carry
on and mind the gap, thank you very much. Uh. Business is
a contented disposition, lovable and charming personality. He had more. He had
found the foundation of spontaneous and almost unconscious self suppression in the discharge of what
he conceived to be his duty, without which happiness, however full, is
precarious and imperfect. That these qualities are not singular than this generation does not
lessen the loss of those who in whom they shine. Yep, as the
war lengthens and intensifies, and the extending lists appear, it seems as if
one watched at night a well loved city whose lights which burn so bright,
which burns so true, are extinguished. Went in Churchill talking about his friend
and fellow officer, Valentine Fleming. Can you read the less sentence one more
time? That's a long one, But sure, I was going to say,
as the war lengthens, an intense fires and the extending lists of Pierre,
it seems as if one watched at night, a well loved city whose
lights which burns so bright, which burns so true, are extinguished A powerful
line. I guess, well loved city is where that really connects their well
loved city whose lights burn so bright or extinct? I guess, I don't
know's it's metaphorical. It is indeed so like I said, so with the
Valentine's father being a banker, you know well off. They they the rest
of the family, Eve and the sons, including Ian, very well off
in the death. But there was a condition. The only way they could
keep the money was if Eve, the matriarch now of the Fleming dynasty,
must never re marry. Wow. If she does remarry, they lose everything,
not just her, the family. Amazing stipulation. Do you want my
money? I'm sure you do. Well, you must prove your love to
me when I am extinguished. You must never share. Is that those lights
burn true? That was talking about the lights. The lights that burn true
are the fact that I will always be watching, even from the great beyond,
and I will demand but you never re marry. I guess that's a
way to prevent your wife from taking a hit out on you that that Linda
you pumped. Brother dude? What uh so? Ian attended Eton College,
which is not a college at all, but boarding secondary school founded in fourteen
forty by King Henry the sixth, So just like uh, just like Nashua
High in uh as sure founded by King Nashua that's the namesake. Or or
I guess the Bishop Gurten for that matter, Bishop Gurton founded the Bishop curtain.
And you know what, the Bishop Gurton definitely on the same level as
King Henry the fucking six Jesus Christ. You imagine going to a fucking high
school that's that's founded by one by a king. It always cracks me up.
In American in particularly particularly Boston, you know, being the cradle of
the beginning of the whole country. Really yes, uh, you know,
we we fawn over the fact that, like you know, Harvard was established
in sixteen thirty six, and how much prestige that implies because of how long
it's been around, right, And it's like you go to you go to
England and it's like on every block you know, yeah, right, it's
like there's a building three hundred years older than Yeah, in the parts he
would be, you know, tourist. Again, there's a there's a building
built built in like the nine hundreds, right, totally like they're they're they're
worried about it at all. Yeah, right, right, you know they
don't think anything like after fifteen hundred means dick exactly. Oh Jesus. So
after Eaton, he decided not to pursue university. And it said traveled Europe
and he went to different cities. He uh, he, he grew in
appreciation while he was over while he was I guess not really, He's not
like overseas. He was just in Europe, Europe. He traveled. He
was abroad in Europe and I and from what I can gather, he had
many abroad in Europe. That's why I had that stipulation in there. Exactly,
well, because he knew she would have cause to remarry. No,
No, Ian had nothing, nothing problem with that. You can do what
ever he wants. It's just Eve. Eve's the fucking one. Although she
didn't have a bed mate, but they just never got married. He didn't
say you can't fuck just get married, so well, you can't fuck,
it's kind of hard to enforce anyway, you know, right right, if
you're going to get married, you've got to get some legal shit going on.
You know, there are bishops and stuff, there's a whole I can't
stop you from taking a a a a night's fourteen inch long talk. However,
getting a fucking bayonet and the snatch, that's pretty funny if like it
was pretty well well understood in medieval times that like knights had huge dicks,
I could fucking it's kind of a requirement, like they have to fucking do
if you want to be a knight, they have to have to do like
on a search and it's like, well, let's see what we got,
okay, all right, then drop trow drop your nicas going on in there.
They're gonna get so aggravated and be ready to fight because they're hard on,
have nowhere to go in the armor. Where's your fucking cock? What's
funnier than a night with a huge cock? A nerd with a huge I've
always thought like someone with just like a thirteen inch dick who has no idea
what to do with it. It's just too funny. God makes me think
of that. That show it's like it was kind of it was a very
very loose like coming of age bio of Ron Jeremy. It was a TV
show on MTV. It was so loose indeed, yeah right, And what
the fuck was it called the r J something or other. It was r
J Experience, I can't remember, but basically it was like, you know,
he had this he was a nerdy kid and one time in school he
fucking you know, his pants fell down for whatever reason, and he's got
the infamous Ron Jeremy fucking you know, uh uh uh. I was trying
to think of something the fucking uh whatever that is that goes in a clock
back the clock when you get like a big stand up grandfather clock that gets
that the thing that goes back and forth, that's his fucking cock just hanging,
hanging low, swinging in the air. It's awesome. I had no
idea that that was the Ron Jeremy story. J R J Berger. That
was the name of the show, r J Berger, r J Cheeseburger.
I was gonna say, that's more. Towards the end of his career,
he looked like a murder they fucking called yeah, oh right, that's right,
great name. The hard times of R. J. Burger. I
think he's problematic, now, isn't he didn't he like do something wrong?
I don't remember now which one anyway, Jeremy, Oh, I'm sure he
did. I'm sure he's done a lot of things wrong. But yeah,
it was really fucking I remember. Yeah, it was a it was a
cute little show that was I kind of remember this now. Yeah. It
was like early or you know, early two thousands or whatever, like or
like early twenty tens, twenty ten, something like that. You know,
if I if you told me we're going to start our James Bond Jeremy and
you asked me from a zero to one hundred percent the odds that Ron Jeremy
would come up in the first episode, I wouldn't bet zero. It would
probably be like zero to ten percent, right right, something like that.
But we like to we like we like to, uh you know, we
want to go to lower odds in that matter. So yeah. So also
while he's uh, while ian Is is traveling around Europe, he grows an
affinity of some sort of appreciation for skiing, for downhill skiing and climbing the
Alps. These are all these are all trademarks of James Bond. I want
you to know, like there's a lot of skiing in the James Bond books
and films, like a lot of this stuff. And you know, like
I said, he's he's he's going to town with a lot of women,
go to lavish locations like live that high life. And you know, he
he denies it at times. He's like, no, no, no,
it's based on me. I'm not a very good man. He says something
like that. But it's like it's James Bond is Ian Fleming's wrestling persona.
Wow, it's bond Is Fleming cranked up to a ten, like what Steve
Austin used to always say. Sure, you know, like that's him,
but it's up you know, it's it's cranked up to a ten, and
that's what it is. He uh, you know, he tried. He
he was kind of lost after after secondary school. You know, he couldn't
really find out what it was that he wanted to do or be or whatever.
And you know, it's like it's a classic Silverspoon story where it's like
you've got anything at your fucking feet. You can do anything you want,
but I have no idea what the fuck I want to do, because you
can do anything you do right exactly. So like he attended the Royal Military
Academy, didn't last long. And here this is I'm gonna play a clip
of Ian Fleming. This is from an interview he did on the BBC four
radio show Desert Island Discs. Don't ask me how that fucking that name came
about, but here this is, uh, here's some mean Fleming for you.
I went to Santa's the idea of going into the army and into the
Black Watch, incidentally, but then it was decided to mechanize the army,
and me and a lot of my friends decided we didn't want to be what
we thought then would be sort of large scale garage mechanics. So I had
to go at the Diplomatic and learned my languages for it, and I passed
in seventh but there were only five vacancies, and so I decided not to
have another go, but to go straight and start earning some money. So
I joined Reuters, which was the nearest thing to the Diplomatic in a way,
because I could use my languages German and French and Russian, and I
had wonderful time in writers. It was a correspondent in Moscow and Berlin and
all over the place, and of course I learned there they sort of goot
straightforward or generate straightforward writing style that everybody wants to have if I'm going to
write books, I said them for three years. But then I wanted to
earn some more money, and writers weren't very keen on paying large sums in
those days. I no doubt that much better now, and so I went
into the city. But I didn't get on very well there because I'm not
very good at making money as such. How do you, well, I
mean, just beyond making money, I must do something that entertains me.
If it makes money at the same time, well that's all better for me.
Well, then the war came along and you joined the Royal Navy.
You became personal assistant to the Director of Naval Intelligence. Well this led,
not surprisingly to some rather violent action. Only well not so much that.
Really it was a very interesting life. I have took part in the Deep
Raide, which is a very bloody affair, and I had some exciting adventures
around the world, and altogether I hadn't extremely I couldn't have had a more
interesting war if one can have an interesting war. And presumably your naval intelligence
experience provided some useful source material for your later books. Yes, it taught
what one could say in writing thrillers and what one couldn't say. And of
course it taught you really how the intelligence machine does work. I can't say
that, of course, I tell that exactly in my books, because fiction
and the whole thing is much larger than life. But as I said,
at least it tells you what mistakes not to make. And when the war
ended, then I went to the Sunday Times, to the Chemisy newspapers,
and I became the foreign manager. They didn't have a foreign department in those
days, and it was my job to place correspondents all around the world and
look after our welfares. See that they wrote plenty of intelligence stuff. It's
awesome. He's fucking great the whole I just don't care in the world.
I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what I'm going
to do in five minutes. I might kill you while I'm sitting acrossrom here.
I I do love like this incognito, like brilliant guy, just you
know, observing other people. Yes, yes, exactly right, that's what
he does. He observed. He just watches. He and the thing is
he doesn't forget. Huh wow, he watches and it just fine. Indeed,
he's a man, he's a man who takes note of things. Let
let the same be said of us all. Yes, indeed more even what's
the movie that's first up here on the journey? Doctor no I thought he's
a lapsed fan wrestling podcast with Jack and Carno and JP sorow he's a lapsed
fan wrestling podcast. So during the war, when he was working as the
assistant to the intelligence head or whatever, he actually started talking to friends and
fellow soldiers, officers whatever they are, about wanting to write spine novels.
He wanted to write a spy novel, but it didn't happen for a long
long time. It would sow if the war ended nineteen forty five. Yeah,
it took seven years for him to write his first James Bond novel.
And in the meantime he kept very busy because he had an on and off
again affair with a British socialite named Anne Schelterras and she was married to She's
a trip. She was married to an aristocrat named Shane O'Neill, and four
years in she started fucking a politician, a press guy named Esmond Harmsworth and
Ian Fleming. So she's married in fucking both these guys. Her husband O'Neill
was killed during World War Two and she kind of was expecting to move on
right to Ian Fleming and marry him, but he was like, NA,
no, I'm not, I think onto, you know, I prefer to
live bachelor life, you know, just kind of apol I don't I don't
mean to mislead you, and but you know, I just don't think I'm
ready for that kind of lifestyle. I just want to go and come and
go as I please, you know, just kind of take out, you
know, just have different pussy every which way. You know, I can
understand that, you understand. Sometimes I want to have two three pussy.
At the same time, it's a simple, traditional, ordinary man wanting to
get his way in the world. So, you know, so I'm quite
likely that the plural of pussy is pussy, pussy one, two, three,
four, five, pussy, ten, pussy. Then whatever it is,
whatever happens on any given night, you know, and I could have
one and then the next night I could have ten pussy at the same time.
And quite frankly, and I didn't mean to be rude about this,
but I don't think I want you around for that. Wow. I think
I want to do something my own. I mean, let's be clear.
As much as James Bond is kind of loosely based, like you said,
the wrestling tent up ten version, you know, Bond's whole thing about absolutely
landing Oh yeah, any any woman, he sets his eyes up. Yes,
Ian Fleming absolutely lived that life. Totally did. He totally did.
There was there was definitely an yes. He was fucking right. He was.
To be clear about that, he listened, he sees a project,
and he finishes inside the project. I think that's exactly okay. So but
so she so Anne went on and married the other guy, Esmond Harmsworth.
But but she would still fucking Fleming. That's the kind of thing. I
mean, so like, even though she's married and he's like no, He's
like, She's like, yes, please, please, Ian, I must
have your giant cock inside please, And so he he. During the war,
he went to Jamaica at one point for some for some you know,
military reason, and he loved Jamaica, and so he built a he built
a holiday home in a holiday house in Jamaica. Yes, and so she
would fly to Jamaica and she would tell her husband, oh, dah,
I'm going to visit my friend, you know, so and so in Jamaica.
I'll be back in a few months, and instead of visiting her friend,
Ian Fleming's cock would visit. Instead of visiting her friend, her ankles
would visit the back of her that's right exactly, ha ha ha. Oh
yes, I'm coming like yeah, I'm oh, oh my goodness, if
I come, I am going to come and oh, there it is.
I just ejaculated inside your vagina. And I do believe it was a good
one, so hot, and all the time he's smoking a fucking you know
cigarette on a holder. It is a Gary holder. I do you know,
Like, I can't imagine when you have people who talk who talk like
that, I can't imagine them having wild sex. It just doesn't. I
mean, I imagine they do, but it just doesn't make sense in my
brain. Yeah, yeah, I know where you're coming from. It's uh,
it's worth thinking about it, is it? Almost? Because like you
when you hear it. When you heard his voice, we'll hear him again
in the moment here's voice. He doesn't sound like someone who would be that
interested in sex. He sounds like someone who's just like, oh, let's
you know, things happen that gives from here to that, and and of
course that drives the ladies wild, exactly exactly. They're like, all right,
just fucking take me now. Well, all right, that's what you
want. Mind, So as as is uh is, you know, tends
to happen. Uh, mister Harmsworth. Uh found out that she was fucking
Ian Fleming and she divorced and charteris and then she ended up marrying. Now
was time. She was like, okay, I suppose you can get married
now. But he wasn't. He wasn't necessarily thrilled about getting married. And
it's these nerves that actually persuaded him to write the first James Bond novel.
And here he is. This is Infamy again again from the same interview Desert
Island Discs, and he also goes into well his preferred writing practice as well,
which I thought was interesting. I was just on the edge of getting
married, and I was frenzied at the prospect of this great step in my
life after having been a bachelor for so long, and I really wanted to
take my mind off the agony, and so I decided to sit down and
write a book. It's one based on any particular person or combination of persons.
No, not really. He's the sort of mixed fictional mixture of commanders
and secret service agents that I met during the war, but of course entirely
fictionalized. Much of you, I hope not. I mean, people come
on, connect me with James Bond. Was simply because I happened to like
scrambled eggs and short sleeved shirts and some of the things that James Bond does.
But I certainly haven't got his guts nor his very lively appetite. How
long do these books take you to write? Six weeks to two months the
actual writing, but I never correct as I go along. I try and
get pace into the narrative by sitting straight down as the typewriter. But then,
of course I do two or three months correction afterwards, and then one
has to correct the proofs and so on, so it takes about a year
altogether. Let's say I you a systematic worker, can you work so many
hours a day regularly. Yes, I find I have to. I work
for about three hours in the morning and one hour in the evening. And
I find unless I stick to a routine, if I just wait for genius
to arrive from the skies, it just doesn't arrive. I just get on
with the work. You'll write these books always at your vacation home in Jamaica.
Yes, Do you look forward to writing on your one every year?
Well, I don't really unless I've got it firmly fixed in my mind.
And of course this is a very bad period for me this time of the
year because I'm trying to work out the next adventure of James Bond, which
has got to be written in January and February, and I'm always rather in
despair thinking I'm not going to have enough book to write. Yes, the
life, Yes, it is kind of an interesting thing too. So do
you know what Well, so one of the one of the key operations that
he was involved in uh Ian fleming when he was in the military, was
called GoldenEye, and then he ended up naming his house after that after that
that mission or operation whatever it was, so he called his house in Jamaica
GoldenEye, and then of course in ninety five the first Pierce Brazen James Bond
movie was GoldenEye. So all these little inside things that happen, Yeah,
this is where he would he would write his novels. And he, according
to Ian Fleming, he began uh the first book on the third Tuesday in
January in nineteen fifty two, and he would call it. His idea was
that it was the is this would be the spy story to end all spy
stories. And he wrote Casino Royale, and he drew a lot from his
It's funny. He says like, oh, no, it's not me,
I hope not. But this is so much about I mean, like anybody
you know, you know how it is. You write what you know,
right, you write about yourself. You add elements, you know, interesting,
interesting anecdotes and stories that happened to you. He did the exact same
thing when he again during the war he went to Letoke in Dueville, France,
Toke and m Duvelle in France, and he played a game that ended
up being mimicked and kind of exaggerated in Casino Royale, and he shared about
that in different interview. Another great interview with the CBC where he talks about
that and more inspirations about Casino Royale. Here's more Ian fleming. Part of
the main plot of my first book, Casino Royal, the gambling sequence where
bond Out gambles a Russian agent and bankrupts, and stemmed from something that happened
to me on the first time. I went with my director, Admiral Godfrey
to Washington in plain clothes before America came into the war, and we took
the long route down and flying the down by Lisbon and Africa and then across
to South America and up that way. And on our first night in Lisbon,
we talked to some of our secret service chefs there, and of course
they were interested in hearing our views, interested in hearing theirs, because Lisbon
is a great center of German espion now. And they said, well,
if you want to see these agents of the up there it was called them,
you will find the most of them gambling in the casino as to real
And I suddenly had the billiant idea that I would take on these Germans and
stripped them of their funds us making a small dent in the secret treasury of
the up there. So I sat down at the table and boncoed one of
the Germans once and lost, and I bonkered him again, lost again,
bonked him for the third time. I was cleaned up. So that wasn't
a very successful exploit. But it was on the basis of this real Light
episode that I based the big gambling scene in Casino Royle. It's pretty wid
you know who's been to that casino? Have you been to that casino?
I have cash Portugal, Wow casino, as they would say, Yes,
it was very cool. Look at that glassy black and red color schemes.
Yes. The steakhouse was very decent. Deep that's it. Just decent.
Yeah, just decent. Wow, as good as a steakhouse in any casino,
you know. Wow. Well, I don't know. It had its
had its own train stop and everything. It was. That's wild. Holy
shit. Never expected to have a reason to call upon that memory for TLF,
but there it is. I'm looking at it right now, look at
that Bond Bond, James Bond, and I look forward to having all the
more context as to what it was I saw through this absolutely so uh uh
oh. I would imagine now that we're talking about Marting the book. You
would probably be curious how we cam up with the name James Bond. Yeah,
well here he is. This is him sharing with that same CBC interview
about how he came up with the name James Bond. And I tend to
pick up names just driving through the countryside through villages and sign it. See
an interesting name over a tobacconist or chemist or something of that sort in any
country in the world. But when I started to write these books in nineteen
fifty two, I wanted to find a name which wouldn't have any of us
a romantic over towns like Peregrine, Carrubas or whatever it might be. I
wanted a really flat quad name. And one of my bibles out here is
James Bond's Birds of the West Indies, which is a very famous ornithological book
indeed, and I thought, well that James Bond, now that's a pretty
quart name. So I simply sturdy music still with this fucking bird guy.
Amazing the book. It's like totally it's like the most like academic looking bug.
It's no glamor at all to James Bond. That's something of that.
He's a name I that's romantic at all used that for James Bond. That's
his name, James. All of a sudden, here you are just,
you know, schlepping along studying birds, writing books about birds, and then
one day somebody decides that you're forever going to be one of most famous characters
in history of cinema. He did give I think I read in one thing
that he did give him something later on, like he gave that James Bond
like a vank you note, or maybe gave him a check or something.
I don't remember. Hopefully he did, I mean something. Imagine if,
like tomorrow, a new spy series launch starring I don't knowam Neeson and it's
called and his name is J. P. Sorrow, Right, Like,
how fucking hilarious? I like, uh wait, what what? They probably
have to check if the name is in SAG before they use right, that's
probably you're probably right. That'd be true, that'd be very true. So
also along with the name, a lot of the very traditional Bond elements were
set up in the very first novel. The character of m who's the chief
of the secret Service, the Q branch, you know, which has all
the gadgets and the technical stuff. Miss Moneypenny and his international associates. He
has his French associate Mathis is the CIA agent Felix lighter than in the fact
that that section that I wrote at the very top of the show, that's
from Casino Royale, and that is the first time that it's written Bond James
Bond, Yes, right there, the sheikn nastered Martini Vodka Martini in the
book, the fancy car in the book, and the not just wanted the
throwaway love interest, but the actual female companion, Bond girl. Yeah,
you know that also in the first book, and when it was first printed
in the UK in nineteen fifty two, it was five thousand hardcover copies sold
out in a month and continued to sell well enough that Fleming was offered a
three book deal with It would have been nice if I had written down as
publisher. But yeah, but yeah, so he was hit right away.
Of course, he was very you know, he's pushing boundaries as well in
terms of the amount of sex, the amount of violence that are in his
books and so people. That was probably the main criticism of any of his
books was the fact that there was so much and it actually is you know,
I I never I've never read a James Bond book before, but I
when I was looking for the pages that I wanted to read at the beginning,
I was just skimming through Casino Oil, and there is a lot of
very very descriptive imagery about the sex and the violence, Like it's very very
detailed, and it's very uh, you know, very graphic, you know,
as much as you can be graphic in in a novel and that kind
of writing. So but he didn't care about that. He again that Desert
Island disc interview. He's like, you know, fuck them. Basically,
some of the press notices haven't been all that blowing their acquills to of being
statistic and too much sex, taking the charge of sadism. Your torture seems
are pretty beastly in some of the books. Well, I don't know how
many of you read, but of course there's nothing to what they really are
in real life. And I think the old days of the hero getting a
cracker over the head with a cricket stump rather gone out. I mean,
we all become considerably wiser since the last war, and I've tried to bring
very similitude into these books, and it's certainly true that the critics have occasionally
found them pretty strong meat. What effect do you think these seems have on
the average reader? Are they going to give him unhealthy ideas? Or is
this vicarious violence a harmless way of sublimating aggressive tendencies. Well, I think
that's the way of putting it. But I was brought up on what we
used to call fourpenny horrors, and I can't remember that any of the excitements
ever did me any harm. All history is sex and violence, and I
think it's to go on writing thrillers in the old Bulldog Drummond John Bucken way,
when life has come out so fast past us. Yes, well,
sex Bond takes his sex where he finds it almost as casual as he takes
a drink. Well, he has the one girl per book, approximately and
that's one. Yeah, I think that's he's a bachelor, and he moves
around the world pretty rapidly, and I don't see any great harm in that
myself. He's unusually fortunate and meeting. He's a lovely and cooperative girl.
Yes, I envy him. How much longer do you think you can keep
on going? Is a huge job for life? Well, I don't know.
It just depends on how much how much more I can go on following
his adventures. You don't feel that he's keeping you from more serious writing.
No, I'm not in the Shakespeare's Steaks. I've got no ambitions. Awesome,
I love that. No, not in the shakespeare Steaks. I've got
no ambitions. Yep, he's not. And but yeah, so like I
really I appreciate his very kind of realist approach to it all that look,
you know, it's we know, we know, And even in an another
interview, he uh, he says, like we after you can't go back
to the simple little you know, like you said, getting bunked in the
head with a fucking a cricket bat. It's like after you discover after the
discoveries of the Holocaust and shit, I mean we watched that last time with
fucking you know, something like a hot watching that clip of that of that
Yep, it's like, once you learn about that, you can't just write
about violence. It just whether or not people. You know, you don't
have to enjoy it, and you probably shouldn't enjoy it, but you can't
be believable if you're just writing about fluffy violence as opposed to if you're trying
to be dramatic and be serious in it, you know, you have to
really emulate what's actually happening or what people are aware of. Otherwise it's it's
it's fluff. And playing off of that. There is another clip from the
CBC interview where a guy interviewing him questioned Flemings this particular there's a particular line
that he reads from the book and he he calls it a kind of a
gloomy, a gloomy piece of the book. And he and here this is
Fleming's response to that. In one of your books, you referred to a
cab driver born into the buyer's market of the welfare state and the age of
the atomic bomb and space flight. For him, life is meaningless. This
is a pretty gloomy view of the welfare state, et cetera. Well,
I think there's an exaggeration. I described the young man as a bit of
a beat me, and I was time to say which I personally believe that
while the welfare state has brought us a lot of very wealth while dividevs.
Particularly in the shape of medicine and so and so forth, and the basic
necessities of life, it has feather bedded the ordinary man in the street,
to my mind, to too great an extent. I think this is recognized
by politicians everywhere. But of course once you start on welfare statism, it's
very difficult to its to slow down the process. And when you get a
chicken in every parts, then the next government has to offer a chicken and
a half in every part, and so on subpart, and so it goes
on. And I think it's rather inclined to uh, to make everybody sort
of uh uh spectators rather than competence. Let's say, in sport and so
on and so forth, they don't take parts and up they just don't spectate.
Of course, the television and so on. Nowadays, with all due
respect to you people who have awed trying to sit at home and not get
out of the frasier, but I think, uh, nowadays a lot of
people are rather inclined to sort of wander around and get bored. And boredom
is the worst sin, of course, of the human being ready, and
there's the worst thing that can happen to him, bore him. Because this
again then take us around to a reason for James Bond being the popular and
that he always has a goal. I stick he probably does in a way.
I mean his talk is a straightforward why then he goes for it and
a stead of straightforward fashion, and I think people like the action. Isn't
it possible that one of these days we'll read a James Bond novel in which
the hero was killed at the end. I couldn't possibly afford it. I
couldn't possibly afford it. What he said tremendous. So because he's right about
boredom, by the way, oh totally. That's why you know people are
so easily radicalized is because they're fucking bored, Yes, exactly. And the
more bored you are, the more you seek rabbit holes occupy your time,
and pretty soon somebody's got you by the balls, right having you think an
act in service to their agenda, and you think you're being virtuous, and
you think you're seeing the world for what it is. What really all you're
doing is marching in lockstep to an invisible puppeteer. And those who think they're
exempt from that are the ones that are most under its spell. Yep,
the one the ones who are like, no, that's you know, no,
no, see you see, that's that's what they want you to believe
they wanted to idle minds, man idle, idle mind vulnerable minds. People
people who are idled and bored, but yet their heart is full of ambition,
to be busy, to engage. And those are the sitting ducks.
And they're and and it's the it's this whole, I mean, we're living
in it's it all stems from because that's this is just it. You scroll
your phone? Why because you're bored? Yes, you and and this is
it's not even stimulating. It's just it creates some side of some kind of
blind action in your brain that it makes, like you convince your brain that
you are busy and that you're actually doing something, but you're not. It's
saying, listen, listen, I'm not holdier than now I am. I
am guilty of as ever, we can speak so confidently about it because we
are as victimized by it as the next person. It does not mean,
however, that we can't decry it exactly. I mean we're not too proud
to decry it. You know what it does is it introduces a hamster wheel
at the moment where prior to phones smartphones, people would actually have to find
something to occupy their time and imagination, because you can't just sit there and
look at the wall and after a while television because it's not personalized to you
and doesn't make you the star of your own reality show like social media does.
It doesn't. It doesn't dangle the tantalizing potential of of posting something that
might give your life meaning for a night. By the way, read create
friction, tension and arguments that that's the thing that passes time that most quickly.
Right, people find that out real quick, like, yep, you
know, if I'm if I'm using this to fill the hole in my life,
I might as well make it conflict based because that'll last for I can
build a whole personality around that. I can build a whole life around being
that guy online, right if I can. If I can just be a
stubborn child forever online, actually yeah, I will be. You know.
I can. I can create. I can create. I can make myself
notable. I can make myself something with a goal at the outset, no
more menacing, no more negative than just being bored and just trying to find
something to do with that boredom. And then in three years you're you're a
comp you're a completely anti social character, like you could never possibly get on,
as the Brits would say, an actual day to day human interaction anymore.
It's too late. And of course COVID accelerated that like you wouldn't believe,
of course, but that's what it does. It puts a hamster wheel
at the point where otherwise you would have to actually find something and go out
in the world and build connections to be able to do something that could occupy
your time, whereas here it's like, no, you can, you can
stay right there in the board state. It's perfectly fine, thank you very
much. Here's an ad for a meal kit service that will save your life.
Yes exactly, unless, of course you don't do a million other things.
I'll tell you what. So, So here's the thing. So we're
not even you know, we're going to say you don't need to go to
the grocery store to go buy groceries. Just stay home and we'll deliver you
food to make it home. Sure, okay, because you're busy, because
you're busy being bored. Oh, you're busy at work looking at your phone
and not working. By the way, you're you're busy, you know,
trolling somebody on on on Twitter saying you know, fuck you, no,
no, no, fuck you no, fuck you no, no, no,
no, fuck you. Fuck you. You're busy mumbling shit talk about
somebody's vacation pictures. Right when before smartphones you wouldn't have to think about their
business. You just have to worry about making your own day work worth a
shit, right right, But now you realize that you have an easily bruised
ego, yes, and that you can't and and you don't know how to
fucking deal with that. That's always been there in humanity, but now it's
been unleashed because there is that hit whenever you want it now yep. Now,
now you wonder why people a truch fucking haters. I mean, it's
the way it's it's the only reasonable personality to develop within the technological content finds
we find ourselves. Yep, yep, you know, I mean you can't
just like I mean, there's way too much stimulus, there's way too much
of an eye into the world of people. And of course the algo figures
out real quick that if we give you a window in a world of people,
that you have some kind of you know, preconceived bias against then God
damn you stay stuck to that thing, you know, yep, yep.
Anyway, so Blood is right, Yes, exactly, He's fucking right.
He's lapsed. Fan Wrestling podcast with Jack and Corn and JP Sorrows Fan Wrestling
Podcast. So, uh, when Casino Royale made its way to the US,
didn't do very well, at least didn't do as well as did in
the UK. It was a big hit in the UK. In the US,
so they didn't the US publishers McMillan I think might have been McMillan,
I don't remember. They decided, well, you know what, I'll tell
you what we gotta do. We got to americanize this guy, all right.
We can't, you know, we can't have him do all that all
that English hoity toity bullshit. War over this, you know, goddamn.
And we fought a war over Americanization, all right, And I say what
we gotta do. First things first, what we gotta do is James bond
that name don't work here in the greatest country in the world. His name
is going to be Jimmy bond O. Kim no longer interested somehow, and
I've lost all interest. They fucking changed it to Jimmy Bond. They did
not actually do that in the US. Yeah, at first, in the
in the books, in the books Jimmy Bond. Yeah, it didn't do
shit to sales, all right, didn't do shit. It just didn't have
the buzz over here. And but nonetheless, because of the way it was
telling in the UK, there was interest in taking the books and taking them
to the next level, and which is cinema. Oh, I should have
played that instead. That was a totally wasted opportunity. There's a copy of
the Fluming book you asked for Sina Royale. I guess that was the American
version. And because it says Jimmy Bond on the back cover, it's going
for three hundred dollars. Of course, I'm sure. I'm sure I would
imagine it's a rare fucking thing. But it says, yeah, Jimmy Bond.
Isn't that fucking awful? It's so bad, Like Jimmy Bond sounds like
somebody will actually rip you off. You look sounds like someone who works out
a Bail Bond's company, you know, like, Hey, my name's Bond.
Jimmy Bond absolutely, and I won't take your money. Jimmy Bond is
the guy who has the most ads on during Saturday Morning Wrestling Sea over Jimmy
Bond. Yeah, at Jimmy Bonds. We don't take money illegally. We
just take it legally. We take it better believe we take it, my
God, we take it Bonds bs. We will take your money, but
we'll give it you at a discount. And he absolutely does not explain what
business they're in or why he's taking your money. That's the buy yourself a
Jimmy Bond, Bond, got it, make yourself a better American. Don't
ask me how. I won't give away the secret to the secret sauce thirty
year Treasury rate. At one point, I tell you right now, we
have been tested all for roppyst that's a good point. Yeah, especially since
that no child left behind passed and there's not a single in every single test.
It's proven that we are the best place to take your money. Like,
amen, brother, did you know that the yield curve was inverted?
Oh fuck, I'll give you fifty cents every dollar you give me. Okay,
that sounds like you making it sounds like you're charging me fifty cents for
something, But I guess that's another way to put it. How funny is
that? Oh my god, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Like,
No, this useless trinket is not fifty cents. Think of it this
way. I'm giving you fifty cents and a thing for every dollar you give
me. What a deal. It reads like an ad in a wrestling that
gazine from the sixties. Oh God, you'll come down with the Jimmy Bond
Bond Company. What could go wrong? But you'll never find You'll never find
a shady business like that called James Bond you know what I mean? Not
at all, Not at all. It's a classy joint. The differences between
James and Jimmy could not be more immense. I'm huge it's looking to the
James Bond Bond Company. But we do everything in the way that is a
class ahead of itself. What the fuck are you talking about? You don't
need to know what I'm talking about, which is yeah, but the James
Bond Bonds. If worlds are colliding, If worlds collide, you need to
invest in James Bond Bond. Uh So trying to make a fucking Jimmy Bond.
Taking Jimmy Bond to the big screen wouldn't happen for ten years. Ten
years. But and I had no fucking idea about this. Uh oh,
it took ten years to get to the big screen. But the little screen
different story. Right. In nineteen fifty four, CBS paid Ian Fleming one
thousand dollars to adapt Casino Royale for a new TV show. It was a
anthology TV show called Claracks. Never heard of it before, Wow, and
I looked it up and it's one of those typical you know, you know,
like in the early days of TV, they do those like they'd adapt
like plays into one hour TV specials, like you know, those kind of
like week to week. They have a different a different story every week.
It's that kind of show. And some of them are done live on the
air, one of them including Because you know roy Al. And I'm going
to turn to this great book called Some Kind of Hero and it's an entire
history of the James Bond franchise. I'm trying to also get my hands on
a digital copy, so I'll put this out in the Solar System. I'm
trying to get my hands on a digital copy of the Nobody Does It Better
Oral history of the James Bond franchise. So if anyone has or can find
a way. I can't believe a book in twenty twenty isn't being sold on
kindle right, Like, what the fuck? What's wrong matter with you?
But yeah, nonetheless it will not it's not on it's not available on Kindle,
like I've been able to find a digital version of it. What's what's
the name of it again? Nobody does It Better? You said you said
something about a hero. No, that's the one we're reading from. I'm
reading what sorry, that's called some kind of Hero by Matthew Field and A.
J. Choud Choud Hurry. Also the answer to the question, Hey,
big show, what do you have for lunch? Shout a clamm chowdery
snow, some kind of hero. That's that's what I was going for some
okay, sounds just like Paul White to me, I had some kind of
hero and it tasted it tasted chowdery, a J chowdery. Bobcat Golf later
there Paul White, Yeah right, ladies and gentlemen, bobcat golfwaite as Paul
White April seventh Philly. Okay, and this I'm talking this is the book
talking about this TV version of Casino Royale. It starred Barry Nelson as American
quote card sense Jimmy Bond, who remembered, this is Barry Nelson. Barry
Nelson, by the way, you've seen The Shining, Yes, you know
the guy who hires Jack Nicholson at the very beginning of the film with that
big red hair. Yeah, that's Barry Nelson. That's jim Bond. I
think this thing not a bad Vince. Maybe he would have been. He
would have been anything like Vince's dad. Actually, yeah, yeah, it's
not entirely economically feasible. My favorite line that is, yeah right, Stuart
Oleman, I'm just looking at it exture. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stuart Almon in the movie patsa Fucker. He totally is a patsa mother That's
it. He's a Pat Sage jack motherfucker. Look at mother fuck or I
should have said fucking choking out, especially Fred Fletcher Jackson the fucking up.
That was great, What a great little It's fucking awesome. I love that
fucking thing. So uh here he remember this is Verry Nelson remembering this show
was done, I have at CBS Television City on a budget about twenty five
thousand dollars. Nelson was not proud of his debut as James Bond. We
needed a rewriting, more time in rehearsal, a bigger budget. It was
done in haste. The exotic flavor of the story was totally lost, and
they just dismantled the character. Furthermore, the female lead playing the first Bond
girl, Valerie mathis not Vesper Lynne from the book was not around. When
did Christian miss rehearsal. She just just initiated a divorce from Tyrone Power,
so that didn't help the teamwork. That team included noted Hungarian actor Peter Lord,
who play the first Bond villain. Yes, yes, the live broadcast
required last minute editing to fit the running time, as Nelson remembered, and
then they went through and cut three words here lying there and half a word
here, and the script ended up looking like a bad case of tic tac
toe. Yes, all this last minute anxiety took its tolls. Nelson explained.
When somebody will get nervous, they get a facial twig. Well,
I had a body twitch. I was in sheer fear. You know,
Peter Laurie saw me shaking and said, straight and up, Berry's why I
can't kill you, Nelson was saying. Went about the production years later.
You know, it was really truly funny, and that's too bad because it
wasn't supposed to be. Would you like to see a clip? Yes?
Would you like to see a clip of Climax Casino Royal? Yes? Yes,
my favorite type of TV show, Climax. Yeah. Yeah, A
favorite part of any presentation. That's right, the climax. I appreciate climax.
All right, there we go. Let me share my screen here and
we can votch this early the very beginning of Casino Royale. Do you have
my screen? Yep? Right here we go Climax presents Casino Royale. I'm
the best seller by Ian Fleming, stars Barry Nelson, Peter Laurie and Linda
Christian and now Casino royaleh uh uh want piece, But I wouldn't know how
you mess her Lucky to meet? Well, I'll never catch him now if
he would please come into the officer. What was all the record? Someone
taking budgets? What? Oh? I wouldn't know. He has someone who's
shooting because they know he's full of apologies. Mister Bob. Such an act
is beyond explanation. You had not begun to play. Such was not your
winnings. They were after that. Yeah, it wasn't my autograph either,
But you have a assurement could see the police would be at your disposal whenever
you feel you need what they shanks. Thanks, that's that's very comforting.
Look, would you get make some chips? Well, I definitely missed the
bone chips. Yeah, he goes out there. Hmmm, huh, I'll
be Bobby Backland. He totally is back then. Huh. So there we
go. And this aired on this was a CBS CBS. It was on
CBS again on this anthology type show kind of the Twilight Zone or I can't
remember that. There's this a show like Studio Studio something or other climax climax
on CBS, and and you know, they'd open up with the host guy
that we saw there, and he'd talk about what was coming up, and
then they would do this, you know, this little television movie and uh,
you know, like forty minute television movie and then call it a day.
It's wild ship Man and that's the first James Bond on you know,
outside of the books. Right there, Barry Nelson, I am and I
alwa say this a lot on cinemat but it's true. I am obsessed with
like the first cinematic depiction of something that went on to be legendary, you
know, like I'm obsessed with the first cinematic depiction of Santa Claus. I'm
obsessed with the first cinematic depiction of like famous novels. It what it would
it shock you to know that the Wizard of Oz that we all know and
love is actually the third use, third version of that movie. I had
no idea. Well, we'll talk about that another time, coming soon,
coming soon under the cinema. Although nothing is really coming soon now that we're
in this Bond journey. Oh yeah, nothing, yeah, coming coming at
some point, coming later, I should say, coming, yeah, at
some point, coming later under the cinemat. Now, this is definitely this
is going to be a journey for the ages. So yeah, it's like
it's wild, you know, it's wild to think about that, kind of
like you're saying, like the first incarnation of stuff. So back to the
book here. Ian Fleming had always wanted his James Bond novels to be filmed.
He understood that commercially, more books were sold as a result of films
being made from them, cinema reached larger audiences than libraries. In an amusing
article titled how to Write a Thriller, Fleming admitted that he wrote unashamedly,
if a pleasure money, The writer elaborated, you don't make a great deal
of money from royalties and translation rights and so forth, and unless you're very
industrious and successful, you could only just about live on these profits. But
if you sell the serial rights and film rights, you do very well.
In correspondence to a friend in October of nineteen fifty, two months before the
publication of his debut novel, Casino Royale, Fleming stated, what I want
is not a publisher, but a factory that will shift this opus of mind,
like Gone with the Naked and the Dead. I'm not being vain about
this book, but simply trying to squeeze the last thirtys sent out of it.
Fleming's blending of two of the biggest selling novels of the aid Gone with
the Wind by Margaret Mitchell and The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer was
an example of his sly often overlooked humor that is to be found throughout his
writing. However, it is also a sign of his ambition. And after
some after, like the book started gaining so after so his second book was
h A second book was Livin Let Die. It's really funny given given the
chronology of the movies, it's so wacky to see how the books are just
different, like they're not like Live and Let Die is the second book in
his in his in the novel Cannon, but it's the eighth movie. Yeah,
yeah, it's the eighth movie in the film franchise. You know,
it's just wacky. That kind of shit always fucks with me too. But
now people are interested. People are interested in purchasing the rights the James Bond
books to make movies. There's a bunch of them. So there's associated British
Pictures, there's MCA is interested in America. Do you remember the name Alexander
Corda from from Black Narcissus, one of the guys along with Arthur Renk who
also was looking for the James Bond films, they started the careers of the
Archers of Michael Powell and am drazberga so that these guys are after they want
the James Bond books and others, but nothing ever came from the talks,
and only one person there was one guy who was able to obtain exclusive rights
to just one of the novels. That man's name is Gregory Ratoff, and
he bought the film rights for Casino Royale, which is why. Yeah,
so the again, like the main line of films is the ones that are
produced by Eon Films or Productions, whatever the fuck it is, and they
didn't have the right to produce Casino Royale until it was released with Daniel Craig
in two thousand and six. But that's you know, we'll get that.
We'll get down to that later on because there was another Casino Royale, but
that's for another day. Nineteen fifty eight rolls around, so six years after
the after Casino Royal was first published, and also now there are a multitude
of books out, Fleming finally would meet one half of the production team that
would have that would get the James Bond films off off its feet off the
launch pad. And that man is named Albert R. Broccoli, nicknamed Cubby
Cubby Broccoli. Here in interviews, everyone talks to Cubby and the nickname was
given to him by his cousin who was agent, actor, producer and also
alleged mobster Pat di Chico, who called him Cabibel, which was eventually shortened
to Cubby, So Cabibel to Kubbybubbebiba Mammy mam ma exactly. So. The
other half of the team was a Canadian producer and Harry Saltzman, and he
optioned the rights for all the novels, like I said, except for he
couldn't get Casino Royale. So Broccoli met up with with Fleming first and he
wants to adapt the novels, but the first meeting didn't go very well or
easily. And this the following is a clip from a documentary called Inside Doctor
Now By nineteen fifty eight, Albert R. Kubbi Broccoli is one of the
most successful American producers working in England. He is one half of a partnership
called Warwick Films. Broccoli tries to persuade his producing partner, Irving Allan,
to help him turn the Bond novels into movies, while Broccoli cares for his
aiding wife in New York He sets up a meeting between Alan and Fleming at
Les Ambassadors in London. The results prove disastrous. At the meeting, Irving
Allan tells Ian Fleming his Bond novels are not even good enough for television.
Two years later, producer Harry Salzman splits from his company Woodfall. Eager for
commercial projects, Saltsman options the James Bond novels. He pays fifty thousand dollars
for six months, a huge sum at that time. Unbeknownst to Harry Salzman,
a vice president United Artist also shows interest in James Bond. My first
cousin, Nancy's married to her then husband Simon Wolf, and he said,
have you ever read this book by Ian Fleming? I said no. He
said, make a great movie. David Picker agrees that Agent Double O seven
has all the right ingredients. I actually had a conversation at lunch one day
with Lou wassonan with the time was representing alf for Hitchcock, and I said
to Lou, I got a great idea for mister Hitchcock, James Bond.
He says, we represent mister Baron through our London office. He said,
you can't get the rights Meanwhile, Kabby Broccoli splits with his longtime associate Irving
Allen and begins searching for new projects. Kubby hired wolf Mankowitz to do a
script which I think was based on the Arabian Nights, and it wasn't going
very well. Kbby decided that he wouldn't go through with it. He wasn't
going to do it. So Wilf said, well, what is it you
really want to do, Kebby? And he said, you know what I
want to do. I want to do the James Bond books. He said,
well, I know the fellow who has the option. Would you like
me to bring him in? The meeting is scheduled for the next morning,
and for Harry Saltzman, the meeting could not come quickly enough. He was
a real ticking clock. He was very, very worried. You always told
me that he had this option. It was running out. He had no
deal for distribution, no deal for production, didn't have the money. At
first, Kobby wants to buy Harry Salsman's option, but Saltsman has other ideas.
Harry didn't want to sell the option. He wanted to become a partner.
So that's how that partnership started. Bought Ornstein Rana London office, and
he called and said that Harry Saltzman and Kobe Barkley wanted to come to New
York and meet with us about something. They met with Arthur krim Bob Benjamin
and David Picker had known the books, and he was very excited about the
project. The two of them came in the office and said, we have
the rights to James Bond. And I was sitting back in my chair like
this, and they came forward like that. The entire thing only took an
hour. They never left that office. That's so we had a deal,
and they shook hands and the deal was done. In those years, when
you made a deal with somebody, you would finance a movie, distribute the
movie, pay the bank losses, pay the profits if there were any without
a signed piece of paper, at least the United Artists, you would because
our word was all that was required. They were giants in their industry.
Harry Saltzman and Cobby Broccoley understood the Bond books. They understood the kind of
films we hoped that they would make, and they made them. Kubby Broccoley
and Harry Saltzman formed two companies. First, they create a Swiss corporation which
will actually hold the film rights. Well, my first name is Jana DNA
and Harry's wife's first name was Jackie j a q U. I. Eon
Productions would actually produce the films. I have to admit I'm a little disappointed
that with the names Albert Broccoli and Harry Saltzman that they didn't use Salted Broccoli
as the name of the company. But yeah, for sure, I mean
like they had a really good opportunity there to make a really clever name,
and Eon Pictures it's fine, but come on, Broccoli salt Jesus, that's
right there anyway. So yeah, so they so now they've got they've got
all that, they're ready to go. They go to New York, they
meet with the studios, and then again this is this is another clip from
from that same documentary Inside Doctor No. Bud Orangstein ran our London office and
he called and said, Amanda, Harry Saltzman and Kobe Broccoley wanted to come
to New York and meet with us about something. They met with Atha krim,
Bob Benjamin and David Picker, and David had known the books and he
was very excited about the project. The two of them came in the office
and said, we have the rights to James he already played that one.
Yeah, so Sabaila, Yeah, anyway, whatever, all good, We'll
move on. Holl Holler heard that. So, like you know again,
Casino around not available. So they decided they're looking at the at the novels
that were available, and I actually should let's see here. We should know
what they are so we can know what what what the choices are by nineteen
sixty whatever it is here, so they would have the the Casino No Not
Available, Living Living at Die Moonraker, Diamonds Are Forever from Rush with Love,
Doctor No, Goldfinger For Your Eyes Only, Thunderball, and The Spy
Who Loved Me. Yes, those are the ones available, and it was
decided that Doctor No was the one that was the It just it was the
easiest to put together. It had, it was the cheapest to put together,
It was basically one location, It wasn't as globe trotting as other Bond
films would become, and it it also had the most straightforward story that would
be the easiest to follow. And so that's why they decided on Doctor No,
and uh, it's like they're they're pretty certain it's going to be a
hit, you know, they're pretty sure that they and so they're they're anticipating
already making a franchise, making more movies. And what I love is that
we've seen we've seen it a number of times under the cinemat that when it
comes to movies and it comes to some classic movies or some failures, oftentimes
you get a fucking harem of writers, yeah, that are put together to
create something and basically use elements of everybody's script on the final thing Doctor No
No difference. Lapsed fan Wrestling podcast with Jack and Corn and JP Sorrow.
It's the Lapsed band Wrestling podcast started off with two screenwriters Richard Maybaum No,
actually sorry, there are total of four. I don't remember. I know
Richard Maybaum and wolf Mankawitz for the first two. Then there was also Berkeley
Mather and Joanna Harwood who all took a shot at writing the script. And
Harwood's story the only woman, mind you, who's wrote the script. She
got a little attention in some kind of hero in the Big Show's Favorite Book.
Having worked on initial outlines to attract finance. Joanna Hardwood received the following
telegram from Harry Saltzman, quote, have concluded bond deal with the United Artists
production starting on October fifteen. Stop Urgent, do screen treatment, Breakdown,
Thunderball, Stop Doctor No or Thunderball probably first subject. Stop. Harwood was
under starters orders imber. I remember getting the telegram saying that we were going
to do it, and I would and would I please do the script?
At once in Paris, I wrote Doctor No. Mostly over there, although
I went back and forward. Harwood was unimpressed with the novel Doctor No.
I thought it was one of the less good ones. It was the Americans
who chose it. Esppecially, I thought it was one of the best good
ones. It was the Americans who chose it. By this time, I
think Ian Fleming was pushing its a bit. When wolf manka Witz introduced Ubbi
Brockley to Harry Saltzman, he had done so on one condition. If I
call and ask if you'll do a deal, can I write the screenplay?
Manka Witz was team with Richard Maybaum to develop Harwood's draft. The novel,
only recently a bestseller in nineteen fifty eight, already needed updating, as Maybaum
explained, and Wolf and I began working under script. We decided that Fleming's
Doctor No was the most ludicrous character in the world. He was just the
full Manchu was Steel Hooks. It was nineteen sixty one. We felt that
the audience just wouldn't stand for that kind of stuff anymore. Instead, the
writers created a new villain, with Doctor No becoming a little Mama said monkey.
We wrote the whole thing about forty pages, Wolf Flynn. I thought
it was marvelous and we could showed it to Kubby and Harry. Kubby was
outraged. Doctor No was Ian Fleming's sixth Bond novel, published in the UK
on March thirty first, nineteen fifty eight, based on Fleming's trip to the
Bahamian Isle of Inagua with Ivar Brize. Fleming was also inspired by current events.
Failed early rocket tests had put the USA behind the Soviets in the space
race, and unrest in the Caribbean seemed to be leading to revolution. The
film followed the basic story with many of the same events, but liberties were
taken with the source material and the characterization of Bond. Harry Saltzman would later
say of Fleming's work, the books are larger than life. As a matter
of fact, I think we are closer to life size than the books are.
You imagine, like fucking James Bond. Movies are all about larger than
life, but they're closer to life than fucking than the books. This would
be the first, Oh, I guess here we go. This would be
the first and last occasion that would be true. HARKing back to Broccoley's experience
at Warwick, producing for a global audience in Harry's nuanced, sophisticated European worldview,
the producers were mindful of staying clear of politics. A few years later,
Kubby and Cubby Broccoli reflected, and we tried to make entertainment for the
men who sits in the seat because he's the critic. Let me say that
again. We try to make entertainment for the man who sits in the seat
because he's the critic, he's the judge. The theaters are full of those
critics. They like this kind of picture because it's escapism, and they identify
themselves, well, what's going on the screen. We know this. They
don't want to be identified with any political arrangement or any political figures escapism.
They're the critics, the people. I don't know how they can identify themselves
with what's going on the screen. If it's fucking escapism, that doesn't make
any sense to me. But whatever. In a key change, Doctor No
would not be working for the Soviets, his backers would backers would now be
Specter, the organization originally featured in Thunderball. That novel also in a legal
dispute war on that later. Interestingly, the Bond film plots almost never depended
on Cold War allegiances, and I had artist London chief Bud Ornstein wrote to
David Picker in New York on reading the first draft of the screenplay, I
must tell you that personally, I have not been too impressed today with Maybaum's
work, and only hoped he would come up with something much better this time,
as we have had many story conferences with him. Fleming suggested thriller righte
Her Berkeley Mather, the pseudonym of Lieutenant Colonel John Evan Weston Davies, perform
an uncredited polish, and Mathered delivered a draft on November twenty eighth, nineteen
sixty one. Mather was also the author of the Past Beyond Kashmir, a
film of which Eon would later announce as one of their future productions. Harrwood
Joanna Harwood understood why Mather had been brought in. He was supposed to be
to masculinize the dialogue. That's why they got someone with amy experience. Upon
reading Mather's draft, Harry Saltzman rolled his eyes and said, this won't do
it all. He had them all thinking like Chicago hitmen. Harwood claims that
when Mather saw a preview of Doctor No, he changed his mind and wanted
a screen credit, contradicting, Yeah, he didn't want to get a screen
credit before, right, He wanted to be an uncredited Polish But then you
know, you knew it. I do believe I do this the screen credit.
How that I think about it? That I think about it. Harwood
did not meet her other collaborators. We never wrote it together. I never
met Manquez. I passed Maybomb a couple of times on the stairs, and
he always said good morning, very presently, but he was a pro.
The final may Bomb and manko Witz screenplay was aided on December twelfth, nineteen
sixty one, and it was on this fourth draft the final budget was calculated,
So we have pages and we have money. Who's going to be in
the movie, though, most importantly, who's going to play one of Doctor
Know's bodyguards in a pretty much lineless, no dialogue, uncredited role. Milton
read, I offer to you professional wrestler, Milton Read, Oh my god.
Milton Rutherford Reid was born April twenty ninth, nineteen seventeen, in Bombay,
British India. His father, Edward W. Reid, was from Scottish
descent. His mother was a Native Indian in India, Indian, not a
North American, not a Native American, but an actual Indian. His father
worked as a He was a customs and excise inspector. What the fuck does
that do? Well? A customs inspector? What's an X? What's X?
What do you? What size is? You know? The tax you
pay in your car? So probably he said, to do with the tax
you pay at imports? All right, that makes sense. So Milton went
to public school in India, and he said, he said the following about
his schooling. This is a quote from an article that he didn't my education
took me only so far, and that leaves you no qualifications for anything.
Wouldn't think about that, but your education. So if you're done going to
school, you are not qualified to do anything at all. Kind of calls
it a question while you went in the first question exactly. So in nineteen
thirty six he moved to London and his first place of residence was the YMCA
in London. And you say his first place of residence was your mother's house
YMC in London, does he take he does not. Actually, first place
of residence was your mother's house at Carfax Abbey, the YMCA. His occupation
in his travel record student, sadly not wrestler or actor, sadly not of
the game, sadly not the game. He found work eventually as a traveling
sales rep and then he got married. He got married nineteen thirty nine to
Bertha Lillian Guyett, and then he served in the UH He served in the
in the military, in the in the UK military during World War Two,
and he was stationed in North Africa and he was one of the what they
called desert rats. You're familiar with the desert rats, so all right,
yeah, they they basically were the the you know, whenever, whenever the
Nazis tried to get to Northern Africa. These were you know, these were
the guys trying to prevent them, you know, and they held off the
any invasion of of of Northern Africa. They did, they did suffer.
I guess a very tragic account of friendly fire. I guess there was a
it was a pitch black battle at night and June twenty seven, nineteen forty
two, and just so confusion that like hundreds of British troops were killed by
their own people. Oh no, but not Milton Reid. Not Milton Reid.
And actually, curiously it was during this period that he actually made his
acting debut. He appeared in the propaganda film The Way Ahead, not to
be confused with the Terry Funk biopic The Way I Went Ahead, Thank you,
different movie, but prayers up by the way to Amarilla as they're suffering
essentially the worst wildfire already. I didn't know. Oh my god, that's
awful, a little too poetic for me that as we wrap up the lapsed
Funk or the area that came to characterize the double Cross is being burned to
a point of unrecognizability. Maybe we did the final Maybe we did the final
justice to Amarillo, and it's time for Amarilla to go away. We did
conclude by saying, I don't know where the compass will be for the business,
but it won't be the Marilla laps. Aerendipity is not a wai.
Sometimes it's not a good thing. Right. So he eventually he returned.
When he was done with the his army service, he returned to England and
he tried to do a number of jobs. He he told this to the
the I mean, this is a fucking newspaper if there ever was one,
the Haamas Smith and Shepherd's Bush Gazette. Yes, yes, of course.
I was a lorry driver, a senate reporter, and I worked in factories.
I showgged my hand at everything, but I wasn't I found I wasn't
meant for this type of thing. It was very good experience, however.
And then he would go on to meet a man named Sam Rabin. Do
you know Sam Rabin? I don't. Sam Rabin was a renown British sculptor.
He was an artist. He was a singer, and he was an
actor. He was a boxer, and he was an Olympic wrestler. Wow,
he would win the bronze medal in the middleweight freestyle division in the nineteen
twenty eight Summer Olympics in Amsterdam. And do you know what else he did
for a living? I don't. He worked Carney style. On July seventeen,
nineteen thirty three, Sam raeven faced a Japanese wrestler named Matsuda. Sure,
just not the metsuita that were that broke Hogan's legs. I don't think
that matsuit was even born yet. Actually, so sure it's namesake though,
Yeah, yeah, well I guess it's a it's a very it's a name
that's very well used for Japanese heels, right exactly. This is an article
from the Evening Post dated July eighteenth, nineteen thirty three. This is about
the match with Matt Suda, the principal supporting bout and produced Matt Suitor,
young Japanese jiu jitsu expert who faced Sam Rabin, the Jewish champion. The
Japanese who claims to have emerged in a thousand contests without defeat, has an
extraordinary style. He wrestled in bare feet and used them as his attacking medium.
Every time he threw Raven to the mat. And this manner. Matt
Sudor would give a peculiar war cry, a mannerism which highly amused the crowd.
Rabin was bewildered by this eccentric method of attack and was on the defensive
the whole time. He was obliged to give a surrender fall in the second
round when the Japanese hurled him to the boards and applied an arm lock.
In the fourth round, however, Rabin leveled the score with a fall from
a crotch hold. Brother, he crosshol did we well? He come from
the front of the back, were you? I mean you? Is it
alright? I ask you to show me how a crotch hold works. I'm
not so sure we can go there. You can't show it to me,
dude. If you show it to me on somebody else, brother, that's
fine. But right I don't know, dude, I don't know if I'm
feeling this right now. Brother. I think we got to condole this thing
back in a little bit, just to start, you know, kind of
rebuilding that trust really in a lot of way, because I don't see,
we were kind of going like a nice little path, brother, and all
of a sudden, like you broke that path. I don't know where I
am. I don't know where I'm supposed to be, and all I know,
dude, is that I don't want to be here. Someone some of
get Leila a Leigh on the phone. In the fourth of the cardhold but
Mansoda won the contest with another surrender fold be given by Raven when the Japanese
then twined his legs about those of his opponent. Wait. Sorry, Matsuda
won the contest with another surrender fall given by Raven when the Japanese and twined
his legs about those of his opponent and applied Prussia. Okay, I guess
that's totally have described the action. At least they're being specific. I can
at least see the action, right. I think it's important to note that
when when mister Raven died, the oh Bits mentioned very little to nothing of
his wrestling endeavors. Yeah, mostly chose to focus on his works of art.
I guess he was known for painting, like he had. He did
a lot of boxing painting because he was also a presser, and so I
think that's what he was most known for. But yeah, they kind of
don't don't talk about the wrestling. I don't think consider art I believe that,
well, they prefer the shoots of art actually as opposed to the works
of art. But that's true too. Maybe that was the catch, you
know, That's why I didn't get mentioned. We don't want to talk about
catch, please, I don't. I think if they're going to talk about
this man who's got a lot of different personal endeavors, I don't I think
there are some that we can kind of leave out, you know, to
cover every We don't need to tell everybody everything about him, you know,
and some things. I believe that in the you know, for the sake
of journalistic integrity, that there are some elements of the humans of a man's
life that should remain a mystery. I don't believe that that there would be
any need to you know, divulge private information about a you know, fictional
sporting endeavor. If I may be so bold, I think a fictional sporting
endeavor that I hear you right, sir at top of the hat. Yes,
I was talking about a fictional sporting endeavor, you know, something that
didn't really you know, go about the legal definition of athletic achievement. You
know. I don't mean to be rude. I'm just well, of course
not. I'm just trying to to show the man of the best light we
can, you know, just out of respect for the dead, clearly.
And you know, a falsity is not something to be trifled with. Oh
man, a falsity. That's a t shirt we should wear to phillies.
Speaking of trifles, did you get did you have some of the truffle oil?
No? I didn't very taste, very good, good season truffles.
So Milton Reid met Sam Rabin and he suggested that he go. Sam Raven
suggested that Milton Reid go to the Northern Company Joint Promotions in Bradford. Joint
Promotions was the premier wrestling league in the country and they were the producers of
World of Sport. So Reid trained at Joint Talk. Yeah, so he
trained to Joint Promotions and in nineteen fifty two he made his debut as jungle
Boy. How many fears? Oh, the original jungle Boy, original or
maybe one of the at least one of the original bits. So many fucking
jungle Boys. The first record of Milton Reed jungle Boy wrestling that I could
find was on June tenth, nineteen fifty two. He faced Light heavyweight champion
Jim Anderson, and he wrestled as the Jungle Boy for about the next decade
or so. And here I'm going to read you a portion of this article
from the Hammersmith and Shepherd's Bush Gazette, Please do dated twelve December thirtieth,
nineteen seventy one. Altogether, it was a happy life and I enjoyed it.
Majority of the boys and the wrestling business how very nice fellows, and
there was some very intelligent men in the business. Although he had done a
few film extra piles, his big chance in films did not come until a
few years late. A friend of mine who was a stuntman, I'm changing
voices with him now. I gotta find something else. You can't be the
same old hoiity toity, even though I know he's you know whatever. A
friend of mine, who is a stuntman, was gone along to an agency
in Soho, and I accompanied him. A man there saw me and said,
just a fella I want. Shortly later, Milton was to discard Jungle
Boys leotard, take up an axe and become the Japanese executioner in the film
Camp on Blood Island. So we have a British man born in India and
now playing a Japanese executioner. That really started the ball rolling as far as
my film career was concerned. I was on the cover of the book and
there was a big picture of me outside the London pavilion where the film was
playing. And on the strength of camp came his second role in Ferry to
Hong Kong, which starred Austin Wells and Kurt jerg We spent about sixteen weeks
in Hong Kong. I played a Chinese pirate leader and in the film,
we boarded this Chinese ferry between Hong Kong and Macau and robbed her in mid
ocean. It was a lovely part and I really enjoyed it. Now with
his shaved head. They paid him fifty fifty pounds to do it for fairy,
and he's never grown to let it grow since he was set. He
was set. I quite learned. I learned quite a bit of that film.
I'd never really done any acting, and I was so pleased with myself.
I didn't think I was going to be capable of doing the part,
but I surprised them and myself and it was this look. After they made
him shave his head, where he would change his wrestling character to probably his
most notable character in the wrestling world, the Mighty Chang, The Mighty Chang
Changhng, tremendous. There are two Mighty Changs, and but he was the
earlier one. And yeah, so again, think this fucking British guy born
in India playing a Chinese beast. Basically, I don't know, man,
I'm looking at his Wikipedia picture, Milton reads, and I'm getting strong abby
vibes. Really yeah, yeah, I mean he's scar at the top of
his Yeah, oh, totally. Yeah. In regards to that, I
mean, he's definitely not like Fat Abbey. He's definitely much more built.
He's more of a he's more of a wall and Mighty Chang I can see,
is much more of like a like an emperor looking guy. Yeah yeah,
yeah, yeah, So there's not you know, I couldn't find any
footage of him sadly out there. If anyone else can find me, we're
very fortunate. Actually we're gonna revisit, Milton read a couple times on this
journey. He's, uh, this is not his only appearance, and but
if anyone else knows where I can find footage or something like that to kind
of see him work or any televised interviews or any kind of footage of him,
because I couldn't find a damn thing. But this is a guy in
uh Spartacus. No' that's what he wood? He Strode who we talked about
before. Okay, yeah, I mean maybe he maybe Milton Read isn't sac
isn't Spartacus. The only reason I say that is because I was looking at
a wrestling classics message board posting as you're talking, trying to find footage and
it seems like he was in Spartacus. I mean the couse I don't have.
Oh I'm sorry, Spartacus and The Ten Gladiators. Oh different, Yes,
yes, it wasn't a different movie, different movie, but yeah,
excellent. So uh yeah. But another another wrestler though, Sam Betts,
who was known as Dwight j Ingelberg. Uh huh. He was friends with
Milton Red and one he was Mighty Chang. And right before Betts died,
he did a shoot interview and he shared about when he first met Mighty Chang.
Here we go on the same trip. There was Skaylee the protection.
Also to put in context here, this is a I think this is a
trip to India he's doing. He's he did a trip to wrestling in India.
Wow, did this Sam Betts? And that's where they were all going.
Maybe it might have been China, but I think it was India.
Bill the thirty Yorkshire burn cond myself and Mighty Chiang, the film star,
and they were there. Was also out there, you know, filling the
bage. It was very very interesting. We're interested. The first night we
arrived in Bombay now as yeah, I don't want you know that. Mighty
Chang his real name, Milton Reedy. He was born in India. His
father was out there with the Raj you know, with the British Arab Army,
and his mother was Indian. And of course he was born out there
and educated at a military schooling in in India. Now when you're going out
out there, funny enough, we could still speak the a Indo, the
Indian language there. And on the very first night there, they gave you
a lecture when yourrived. You're here, you're big people. While you're here,
your stars, everybody looks up to you. Please act like st ours
behaviors. Mm hmm. Anyway, the very first night I would get Texas
to Oreo five star hotel where we stated I was sharing a room with the
mighty cham melt meltain decision, and it says, come on, so well,
I would eat to town tonight. M hm. So we it gets
a taxi because we are eat a town and we went up. We wanted
to watch these Indian girls dance, not exotic dancing, all the dancing.
And so he got down there and get get said this place watching the dance
upstairs like a private club. And the owner of the club like lightly neat
treat out there, and yeah he sister Chang. He says, excuse me,
mister Chang, would you come to the balcony please. He walked out
in the balcony, he did the chang, and the streets full of people
shouting mighty chang y. You know, it spread the words he got mighty
shall and his premises for publicity for his coffee. But unfortunately the press got
out of it. Press there and they the press called is to shade clues.
That was the first channel. Oh wow, how the hell do you
find a guy telling the Milton Read story. That's that's that's something else.
I mean, let me tell you it's it was a harder explored scene.
It was a hard this is this was a difficult one. There there's so
little, you know, I mean I say that a lot. I say
that a lot. There's so little out there. But there's one to deal
with such you know, such random people. Oh yeah, absolutely, this
one was one of the harder ones for sure. Like he's he's got a
lot of like his I I I trying to find stuff on ancestry, trying
to find stuff on you know, through anything. There was a there is
a very there was a very helpful What led me to this interview was a
website. Let me see you can find it again. Uh is this?
I think this is it? Okay, talk Wrestling. Okay, it's heritage
docs, dot wiki, wixiwicksite, dot com, talk wrestling and they I
was able to find some stories about him and then this ultimately led to me.
There was a link to the interview, and uh it was it was
wild. One of the stories. So there's another wrestler whose name was Phil
Kenyon, and he shared a story that he knew about Milton read and on
that. By the way, the if you want to listen to the whole
interview, of Sam Betts. It's on the YouTube channel Joanna. I don't
fucking know, but that's like they have like two videos and it's Joanna.
How fucking vague can you be? But I'm sure if you look up Sam
Betts, Joanna and Dwight j Ingelberg, you'll you'll find it if you want
to listen to the whole thing. He's a lapsed fan wrestling podcast with Jack
and Carno and JP Soro. It's a fan wrestling podcast. This is Phil
Kenyon's recollection After a contest in India between Dwight and Milton, h I know
what it was. Phil Kenyon heard Dwight Sam Betts share a story between about
him and and Milton. After a contest in India between Dwight and Milton,
the crowd went mad, and as Milton knew that crowds in India could become
very violent, they took a for the dressing rooms, which were far from
being secure. So they headed for the police who were who were there in
some force. The policeman. Can you imagine, I mean, this is
this is the wrestling of the day where fucking the fans are going nuts.
They're absurd, absolutely bloodthirsty. The policeman in charge, however, said they
were also going to leave in a short time, so they all ran to
the nearest police station, where Dwight and Milton spent the night in a prison
cell for protection. They were so desperate to avoid the crowd, this rabbit
hungry crowd, that they had to go to a fucking police station and go
to the jail and spend the night in a prison cell. It's nutcase.
They thought it was real. I thought it was the think it's real in
India. Yeah, I'm sure from what I understand, Like, it's still
kind of like great colleague. I remember hearing about how he was being received
by by Indians and it was almost like a guy who was actually like dispatching
it, vanquishing people for real. Yeah, I mean, you know,
remember we looked at that Bollywood movie that had a crush in it and Brian
Lee is Undertaker. Yeah. That's another thing that takes wrestling hyper seriously,
is something where you know they could kill somebody. I want to do that
one at some point. Oh god, it's a challenge to help you.
That's a fucking challenge to do because like not only you know, it's I
have. I have a copy of the movie. I was a copy of
the movie. But it's like it's it's not you know, there's no there
are no subtitles. It's yeah, I'm sure all the history is a HINDI
I'm sure exactly. You know, it's it's one that that you know,
it's not going to be an easy one to to kind of research on that
one, but love to hit the independent circle, the independence So yeah,
the the look this, you know, the shaved head look and the mustache
thing this is this would get him his work in the film business as the
years went on. And like I said, this one included this is the
first of three James Bond films that he would be in that he would appear
in. So we'll see him a couple more times. But you know,
we're starting at James Bond journey, and you can't start a James Bond journey
without going back to Sean Connery. We've talked about Sean Connery a number of
times, and knowing that this was at some point going to be on the
horizon, at least the James Bond film was going to be on the horizon,
we haven't really talked about the middle section between you know, between when
he was a young kid. We started, we started with Highlanders. You
want to learn more about his early years, you know, Highlander, and
then we skipped to the to the seventies and eighties. But here we're going
to talk about kind of that middle because it is fascinating. It is kind
of fascinating tale because you got to remember, Sean Connery was not Sean Connery
at this point. He was a nobody. He was an unknown. This
was the role. This was the movie. I turned him into a superstar.
So and the the producers of Broccoli and Saltzman and everybody else, they're
they're like, they they want, you know, who are they going to
pick for this movie? This is now a very very hyped up movie and
everyone knows about it. And the initial choice was actually the man who was
the best man in Kubby Broccley's wedding, Carrie Grant. Could you imagine Carrie
Grant wow as James Bond, like Nicholas Cage is Randy the room exactly exactly,
But he was They were like, you know what, he's too expensive.
He was too expensive for the movie. And also he wouldn't sign on
the real catch was that he wouldn't sign on for more than two films,
and they want to make the whole you know, the whole, uh,
the full gamut of the franchise. Do that? Why would be okay making
two but not seven? That's a good question. I don't know. I
don't know. I have to look at that. Actually, I didn't even
think it's not working. They just won't make them. What's the problem signing
it? Right? Right? Yeah, it's interesting that he I don't know,
I have to look that up. I wonder if it's in any of
Cary Grant could carry a Grant biography or something, so uh, that's you
know, they wanted film, Like I said, the entire the books at
that eleven books by this point by the time they're shooting, uh doctor now.
So it's like they get you know, no, no, no,
I'm not going to be that for that said, carry Grant. Other potential
bonds. A couple of actors I've never heard of before, Edward under Down,
Patrick McConnon sorry, Patrick mc brother, what what do you mean?
What do you mean mccouhon, dude mcogan, what did you try to slap
that one in? Dude? Little accent accent, mcgillicutting on it, dude,
Patrick, Hulk, McCoo and mcgilla cut come on yesterday, stood,
I'm sitting here, brother, I want let's let's break this. You're always
sitting there. Well, first of all, let's let's dial this back in.
Dude, all right, let's let's try to sneak stuff. Dial this
back is all right? Brother? I want to know exactly how it is
you know that I'm always sitting on the diz, brother, Well, so
you told me a little more than I knew, Terry. I didn't know
you were sitting on the dizz. I thought you were just sitting at the
house or something. Well, brother, how do you know if I'm sitting
in my his you know where? Do you? I mean? Brother?
What do we you like? Are you saying you know where my hiszele is?
Brother? Is that what you're saying? Dude? What's the dizz?
Sho? I want to know what the diz is? Brother, Let me
get back to you. Albert Finney was considered for that would have been an
interesting choice. Roger Moore. Roger Moore, who would become James Bond,
was considered this early, but he was considered to be too young at the
time, and also David Niven. David Niven would also get the chance to
play James Bond, but that comes later on. Also Australian actor Rod Taylor
was given a chance out. The only reason why Rod Taylor was any of
any interest to me was that he is in one of my favorite Alfred Hitchcock
movies, The Birds, and he's kind of like a nineteen sixties Mel Gibson
in a way. Yeah, And this is what he did during his he
died in twenty fifteen. In his oh bit in the Sydney Morning Herald,
they shared a story about how he did refuse to screen test for James Bond,
and he said this this was what was written. Taylor then refused a
screen test for James Bond, considering it beneath him. Quote every time a
new Bond picture became a smash hit, he would admit, I tore out
my hair. Big regrets there that he didn't even test for it. Might
not have gotten it nonetheless, but I mean he was definitely a you know,
he was definitely a bigger star. But they didn't want a star.
It's kind of what it was, you know, they didn't really want to
hire a star. They felt that the James Bond character could could make a
star, you know, and they were right. We turned back to some
kind of hero. Other names mentioned by Broccoli included Trevor Howard and Michael Redgrave,
while director Terrence Young wanted Richard Johnson to play the role. Young,
however, was one of the few directors who had worked with the eventual choice,
Sean Connery, who he met working on Action of The Tiger. Many
individuals have taken credit for bringing Connory to the attention of the producers. Lana
Turner was the first to introduced Broccoli to the Scotsman on the set of Another
Time, Another Place in nineteen fifty eight. Cobby's first impressions were, you
know, he was handsome, some guy projecting a kind of animal virility.
He was tall, with a strong physical presence, and there was the right
hint of threat behind that hard smile and faint Scottish burr. Broccoli could see
the latent appeal in the actor. The movie he was making with Alana was
poor, but it revealed the of the potential in Connery. A flair for
the wearing stylish clothes and an easy conference style in front of the cameras.
So it was this image that persisted in my mind. In nineteen summer nineteen
sixty one, while at Goldwyn Studios in Los Angeles, Cubby attended an advanced
screening of the live action Disney musical Darby O'Gill and the Little People. Yes,
one of Connery's first leading roles, and not only that, but he
fucking sings in it. Right? Would you like to hear Sean Connery sing
in Darby O'Gill and the Little People like I would? Have you ever seen
the seagull? It's the flying over heather, all the crimson sails and go
with the fishermen, and all the earth is filled with beauty, and it's
gathered all together in the form and face and dainty graves of a pretty Irish
girl. Oh, she's my dear madaland one her eyes a sparkling pool of
fun. No wilder, no wilder can match the likes of her. She
is my dear madald and one my smiling an big island one. I love
the ground she walks upon, my dolly Irish girl. I didn't hear any
of the accent till the very end there. Yeah, I know he you
know, I'd always hide it for that. It's like you know how many
British singers, Oh yeah, you know, they always sucking hide their their
accent. But man, I had never heard of this fucking movie before in
my life. Darby O'Gill and the little people never heard of it before.
Kubby Brockley not impressed, however, his wife was. And here is here
is This is a clip from a Vice series, actually a Vice series Icons
Unearthed, and they featured a whole season on James Bond. Cobby he said,
I said to her, what are you crazy? He played like this
country bumpkin, this oaf. Do you think I'm a good lad? They
put him in a movie called Another Time, Another Place, which was supposed
to be a great breakthrough movie. It bombed and they stopped his contract.
But bombs didn't matter to Dana. To her, Connery was, why are
you looking at me like that? Dana said to Covey, I'm telling you
that man has got real sexual magnetism. He's got what it takes. There's
always been a consideration that Bond likes the finer things in life. He tends
to have a very refined taste. But he's not so high class that he's
off putting. I thought he was delicious. Actually, the thirty one year
old Scotsman was summoned to a meeting with producers. During the talk, Sean
Connery thumped his fist on the table and absolutely refused to do a screen test.
Cobby said to hear that from some young upstart. He's not going to
do a screen test. We like that about him, he said, this
guy's got bals. That's the kind of cockiness that Bond would have Connery had
walked away. Ironically, it was how he walked out that was about to
seal the deal. When Sean Connery walked out of the office, they appeared
at the window to watch him walk across the street to his Porsche, and
they saw that he moved like a leopard. Curry had grace in his movement
and a raw masculine sexuality. So Sean Connery, I'm not going to take
a fucking screen test. Oh fuck do you think I am? Is it
his day one? Uh? Well, mister Conry, I don't. I
don't mean to be rude, but you know how we do things, So
we do We're going to do a screen test, you know, because we
do not. Nobody knows who you are. You're nobody. Excuse me,
sorry, but it's the fact you're nobody. You know, your past couple
movies a fucking tanked. Well, let me tell you something, your little
prick. Yes, what I'm going to do right now is I'm going to
leave this office. I'm going to find your wife and I'm going to fuck
the ship out of her. That's correct. And she's going to tell you
all about it. Okay, I understand. But all right, he's gonna
tell me about it. Oh, yes, she will because it's gonna be
the best sex of her life. It's really good. I'm gonna fuck her
like an animal. Okay, all right, I guess we'll hire this guy.
Huh. That's what it takes. So in nineteen forty, let's go
back to Sean Connery a little bit here. In nineteen forties, Connery was
weightlifting. He began weightlifting and started participating in amateur bodybuilding competitions. In nineteen
fifty three, he competed for Mister Universe. Now, apparently on his website
there are he says he came in third for Mister Universe in nineteen fifty three,
and I think he said that on his website or something like that,
and there are other places that have said but according to the actual results on
the website, he didn't even place so starting to sun right, So you
sure he's at the pro wrestler. I think there's definitely elements of him that
could definitely be a pro wrestler, but they qualify. Yeah. He also
made an attempt to play soccer professionally. He had a brief run in the
juniors over in the UK and he was He was quoted in a post for
on the Scottish Junior Football Association website. I played for Bonnie rig Rose and
I was offered a trial by each Fife. That's the truth. I really
wanted to accept because I love football, but I realized that a top class
footballer could be over the hill by the age of thirty, and I was
already twenty three. I decided to become an actor and it turned out to
be one of my more intelligent moves. He would be right, but he
was struggling, like I said, during the fifties. He barely survived really,
and like I said, you know, he made these movies that Darby
O'Gill movie in the late fifties and the other one that was mentioned in the
Vice show in the late fifties. And you know, he gained traction because
he's getting bigger parts. But it's the big one. And it also wasn't
an easily done deal because maybe they liked him when he walked out the door
and he looked like a fucking leopard, but not everyone was convinced. Again
we turned to some kind of hero. The producers were always adamant they needed
a slightly tougher British figure to play Bond, to add the requisite level of
macheese mone to the gentle spy. All he should have been jord but she's
Small's kind of a wrestling James Bond. Anyway, Saltzman said, when we
spoke to him, we saw he had the masculinity the part needed. Broccoley
noted the misconception, but the literary bond. There was a general feeling that
he should be this the school tai hero here in England, and he isn't.
Saltzman agreed that their bond was a tougher interpretation. There is a kind
of an idea from the books that he was very well bred, well educated,
very urydite, erudite gentleman. Actually in the books he isn't. He
doesn't read. Actually, Ian Fleming's picture of him was not as an educated
gentleman Ian Fleming, Ian Fleming. It was a blunt said he was a
blunt instrument, and we tried to keep him in that image. Broccoli understood
the key to success was to make the unknown actor become Bond. The books
were successful, would make whoever played Bomb famous. A star couldn't have been
tied up for a series of pictures, you know, and we needed this
to be we need we felt this to be vital in the United at artists
had failed with Mickey Spillane because they use a different star reach time, and
the public had no chance to form an affectionate identification with him. Associated producer
Stanley Sappel remembered, I think they always knew from day one met Sean Connery
would be Bond. You know, he didn't look like anybody's idea of Bomb
when we first saw him, but there was something there. You know.
We did go through the motions of screen testing some fifteen or twenty hopefuls of
everybody's idea of what commanded Bond should look like. Six' two. You
know, British upper crust with that sort of chiseled face, had a sort
of a genius come out of that test thing. Connery probably wouldn't have gotten
the part, but he was it from the beginning. Eventually, the balding
thirty one year old actor did screen test under the guise of auditioning actresses for
the for the role at Pinewood. Upon receiving the material of Connery in New
York, Picker and Krim, these are the guys running. United Artists in
New York telegraphed no keep trying. However, on August twenty third, nineteen
sixty one, Cubby reported the words of the United Artists West Coast chief Robert
Blomouf Blomof, Blumoff blomofe. I don't know to Harry New York did not
care for Connery, feels we can do better, but UA's Bud Ornstein in
London supported the producer's choice is the best of come up with today, and
I do believe he could be James Bond. And in the fall of nineteen
sixty one, the big news was finally announced. This is from the Birmingham
Evening Mail, September twenty third, nineteen sixty one, and Sean Connery,
the six foot two and a half inch gypsy actor, said at last,
I feel as if I'm becoming I'm beginning to get somewhere. He was grossly
understating his position ten years ago. This gentle giant with a soft Irish bro
or is it Scottish. He speaks so quietly it's hard to tell was delivering
milk with a horse and cart in Edinburgh. Yet within the next few days
he will probably have in his pocket the contract which a dozen top film actors
of an angling form the role of James Bond, security agent fucking's working security
detail of the fucking mall. Security agent didn't sound very a security agent.
He works the midnight. He works the graveyard shift at the local shopping mall,
and he, you know, he stops the criminals from stealing from the
from the claires. Sean Connery security agent isn't much farther from Paul Blart mall
copang. Yes, my name is Bond, James Bond. I'm a security
agent at the mall. Oh somehow I don't want to buy a ticket all
of a sudden. I work from the hours of ten PM to Shikham every
day and I stop the criminals from breaking into the shopping center. I think
this will sell big time Creative Ian Fleming for his string of best sellers already
this year, conry House was credit a star role in The Frightened City,
and that two hour television performance is Alexander the Great in Radigan's adventure story.
He appears on in In on the Fiddle, the new service comedy which has
its first public screenings in Birmingham next week. And on top of that,
he has an aversion of Anna Karina with Claire Bloom for television. And while
he's clinching the James Bond business, he is off to Canada to do a
television Macbeth. Now, the prospect of doing a James Bond film once a
year for five years is certainly a pleasant one, he tells me. It's
a matter of settling terms. I'm a free agent now. Twentieth Century Fox
had me under contract for two years and never used me in even one film
in the years twenty six to twenty eight are pretty important in a fellow's career.
What annoyed me was that I would have been in place at Edinburgh and
Oxford, but There was always supposed to be a film part coming up for
which I had to be held ready, but it never came. These James
Bond parts, they are to be good opportunities. You cannot always tell,
though, you know. When I read The Frightened City, it seemed to
have opportunities. There were things one thought could be done, but somehow they
never were. Now there is this civil frankl comedy on the Fiddle. I
had wanted to do the film under his direction, and it had the excitement
of an eight week schedule for shooting, so we had to get around a
bit quickish, you know. But seeing it now, while realizing what has
been accomplished, one can see the limitations. I'm not against the kitchen sink
stuff, you know, but you know, when you're doing something like Anna
Karina, you realize how much is in that sort of thing, you know,
Dostroyevsky, and well, there there's lots of real heroic stuff that could
be done. Yes, had the chance to play James Bond filled in with
new ambition. Not really, I'm not very impressed by money. I've bought
my own house, I run a car, I'm single, I can afford
most of the things I want, but I don't really want very much.
I'm happy as long as things carry on as they are. I want to
say this side of I want to stay, this side of income tax sitis,
the disease of working for the inland revenue instead of yourself. Do you
remember in the Highlander episode like how fucking crazy he is our income taxes?
Kind of yeah, he's that he that he that he fucking moved to like
the Bahamas or something to get away from income taxes of the UK and he
could only work because of his like he wasn't banished, but with some kind
of of of like, you know, not very He's not seen very well
in the eyes of the government in Scotland. So who can only be back
for like seven days at a time, you know we're going to go away
again. I know many actors, some of them famous, who dare not
stop work because they are always paying off last year's tax I have an arrangement,
a sort of unwritten agreement with a repertory company at Oxford to do two
or three plays there a year. I want to keep my hand in with
the theater and where the actor really learns his job, where he can stretch
himself and grow. And apart from that, I know that I'm going to
do three good plays a year, which is an excellent way of spending my
time and keeps me away from the more profitable end prizes which would soon put
me in the income tact rat race money. Money is just a means to
an end, not the end, but it is nice to be recognized to
get somewhere. Sean Connery, it is nice to be recognized. They get
somewhere. Australian money is just a means to an end, not the end,
but it is nice to be recognized to get somewhere. Absolutely could have
said, yes it is. It is nice to get somewhere. It's also
nice to come back home too. So it's my opinion and we will for
sure hear more from Sean Connery as the weeks go by. Ah, and
that takes us to our tour, the debut AU tour of the James Bond
franchise. Terrence Young brother, right. I think it's fitting that a look
at Wrestling and James Bond charts with the director named Terrence Sense. What do
you mean, Terrence, Dude? You're saying young terror? Are you saying?
Young Terrence? Dude, right, what Young? Rock? What now?
Why did you bring Rock into this thing? Brother? I didn't mention
Rock. I don't mention h. What do you know? Brother? What
are you? Have you been talking to Dwayne? Dude? You're talking to
DJ. Brother, you've been talking to the Riz. Mh. I'll know
what keeps going. I'll smell what the what the Rizz is? Kids?
Looking? Brother? The Riz Rizzler, the Risen to Mizz Maybe right.
He's a Lapsed fan wrestling podcast with Jack and Carno and JP Soorro. It's
the Lapsed Fan Wrestling Podcast. Stuart terrencebat Young was born June twenty of nineteen
fifteen. And the Shanghai International Settlement, China. These fucking people, I
mean, I guess it's that time period where you know, Brits were taken
over every place that yeah, I think I've talked about this before. Do
you you listen to Eddie Hazard? Do you ever hear any of this comedy
things? And he has a one bit where he's talking about how how basically
the jokes that that basically the the British Empire just conquered every place by just
planting a flag. Right right, now, we've kind of been naming India
parts of the British Empire. Can't do that. We live here. Do
you have a flag? No, it's mine? Now awesome. So he
went to Cambridge what he studied history before starting his career as a screenwriter and
his job first jobs in the business Alexander Korda and Arthur Rank. So Alexander
corn and Arthur Rank are seeming to me to maybe be the British versions of
not in terms of quality, but in terms of where you get your start
u as fuck me, I can't think of Roger Corman, you know,
like the same thing. I mean, how many fucking filmmakers American filmmakers have
we talked about who came through the Roger Corman factory? Absolutely, you know,
there have been so many and the same thing. I like, Roger
Corman is one of the main through lines under the cinemat And I'm wondering if
if Korda and Rank are the British equivalents of that, it's really remarkable.
Yeah. So, but before Young could transition, he wanted to direct,
like you know, like everyone does. But the war broke out, the
Second War, the Second War, not the first one, but the Second
one, and he enlisted in the God's Ama Division and he would participate in
Operation Market Garden, which, to to sum it up is basically it serves
as the main plot for the film A Bridge Too Far. So if you
want to know more about that, watch that movie or read about Operation Market
Garden. It's kind of complex that that happens, because it's like, you
know, there's good shit that happens, there's bat shit that happens, and
da da da Corecidently, though A Bridge Too Far feature Sean Connery in the
movie. I've seen it once. I think it's pretty dull. If I
remember correctly, I should watch it again. But I think I remember being
pretty dull. And it's one of those seventies movies where it's like, you
know, there was a there was a period in like the mid seventies where
everything looked kind of almost TV like and and everybody was like it had everyone
was kind of fuzzy. I feel like it happened during that era. It's
a weird period, and it's like it's I don't like those movies like The
Great Gaspies kind of like that, or it's it's a little it's a little
too realistic. Looking in a way, and it's like it's also got these
weird is it that kind of smudgy, hazy effect? Right? Cabaret is
the same way too. It's like it works in black and white in the
forties, it does not work in the nineteen seventies. Just saying that's just
my opine. So he turns from the war, goes back to work for
Rank and he begins directing. And I'll tell you, you know, I
look through his entire filmography. I do not. I'm not very familiar with
his non Bond related films. I don't know. I don't know anything about
them. I'm not. I am not a Terrence Young a fictionado to say
the least. But I guess they did pretty well. And they did,
they were. I mean, they seem to talk about him as if he
is like a perfect guy to direct the James Bond movies and he's a very
tested season director, and they're not wrong. I just don't know, you
know, I'm familiar with one movie he did. He did, I know
of The Red Beret, which starts Alan Ladd. I don't. I've never
seen it before. But I did find out the producers of those movies of
that movie was. One of the producers was Cubby Broccoli, so there was
a connection there and again to We'll have turned to some kind of hero.
If finding the right tone was difficult, so too was finding the right director.
United Artists had final approval as butter Orangetein Recalled. Based on the treatment,
directors so far have shied away from the project. I feel that that
it is important to get the director assigned as soon as possible so that he
can adapt the script to his own thinking. Broccoli and Salzman allegedly favored Phil
Carlson, but his fee of seventy five thousand dollars was well over the forty
thousand dollars budgeted for the director. David Picker also felt because of the subject
matter, it was clearly going to go into a British not an American director.
Brian Forbes, Guy Green, Ken Hughes all turned down the film.
Guy Hamilton and Terrence Young were the front runners, but Hamilton declined for personal
reasons. In any event, United Artist felt that despite Young's tendency to go
over schedule and budget, he was the right choice. Picker explained, quote,
it was an easy It was easy to say Terrence was the living embodiment
of James Bond, his style of dress, a style of life. He
could have played James Bond himself. Terrence Young was the prototypical James Bond.
Young appreciated the fine things in life and could match Fleming with urbane superiority.
And here this is a clip from an piece of audio from It's called the
Bond Bulletin. And this is Young describing his first encounter meeting Ian Fleming at
this party. Naturally enough, Ian Fleming was there. He came across with
Kebby Brockley, who introduced us, and we were talking for minutes and he
said, ah, yes, He said, you're the director. You're the
man who's going to spoil my books. She said, with your directorial touches.
I said, mister Fleming, I don't know about you, but I
said, my last film when the gold medal at the Venice Film Festival.
I don't know what prizes your books have ever read. He said, my
god, you're a pretty customer, aren't you. And I said no,
I give a little bit drunk at the moment too, I said, book,
Uh, you know, we should do everything we can to make your
books a big success. Yes, we should I get it. It's this
guy literally named Kubby Brock. He's a fucking nut and he's a fucking like
this is the guy that brought on a life. Yeah, this fucking guy
they have. The last thing he ate was the only thing he's never in
his life is broccoli, you know ironic, right, yeah, cubby cubby
broccoli whatever, how about Tubby Broccoli? Said absolutely Tubby Chubby fucking m idiot
broccoli. Oh god, so he uh he he wrote the He he was
the one who wrote with Joanna Hardwood who we talked about earlier. Harwood rather
and uh, you know she she kind of laughed about it because apparently what
he would do is basically just kind of copy and paste from the book itself,
as opposed to, you know, trying to really adapt it. But
yeah, like just and and and basically he would copy the entire book and
take out the pieces that couldn't be filmed, Like I see, you know
Bond, Like James Bond sat and thought about, you know, what he
had for breakfast this morning, and he pondered on that for the next fifty
to fifty minutes. Show that the kind of shit that like, you know,
you also can't describe it. You can't say, you can't just show
a guy thinking about breakfast, Like, how the fuck are you gonna do
that? You know, except for I guess you gonna have to dissolve to
breakfast or whatever. But this brings something up interesting. I've thought about and
adapting classic long novels for the screen. Sure, like there's always those sacrifices
that have to be made to depict, you know, only certain representative scenes
to fit a time of a future film. But I do wonder what would
happen if, like, you know, partically in a Netflix era, if
a filmmaker was just unleashed to make as long of a film as he had
to, or she had to to depict every single scene in a thousand page
novel. Well, it only means a forty hour film. The closest that
I can tell you that that's been done. It's not done to a novel,
but done to a play, is uh is Kenneth Bronni's Hamlet? Sure,
but that's still you know, it's still four hours, right right,
right? So four hours? And so the movie's about four hours, which
is close to what I'm saying. But but yeah, I've never been done
with a book, right, I mean, I imagine that it would.
I would love to see that as an experiment, But I imagine they're just
going to do it like what they do with the mini series instead. Right
Again, that's also not what I mean. I just mean like linearly,
like like an actual like an actual movie. We're going to write a treatment
page for page off this novel. It would be It would be great,
I mean I would. I would be very curious to see that, to
see that happen, because it also is like you know, a lot of
times when you're when you're writing a script, you realize that certain scenes don't
work visually side by side as well as they do in a book. So
it would be fascinating to see it be forced. Yeah, you don't have
a choice, like this way, it's gonna be right, Like, it's
gotta be this way. Make it interesting. Do you have you heard of
the film Tristram Shandy with a what's his name? Winter Bottom? What's his
name? The fuck is that guy's name? Uh? Tristram Shandy is an
eighteenth century novel. It's one of my favorites, and it's written by Lawrence
Stern and they tackled it in a fascinating way. It's with Steve Coogan and
Michael Winterbottom directed it. That's what okay, and uh oh yeah, Steve
Coogan's tremendous and long story short. The novel just completely like blows up the
structure of novels. Like there's starts and stops, there's flashbacks to things you
haven't heard about, these references to things. It's just like it's just like
a collection almost of like diary entries. It can kind of read like in
certain points that there's entire pages that are just like black boxes. Think about
that novel in the seventeen hundreds trying this kind of thing and just totally disjointed
narrative, and it's just it's fucking amazing. And what they did is not
you know, it's like a full four hundred page book or whatever, it's
five hundred page book. What they did here with the film treatment of it
was not obviously to try to replicate that disjointed, exhaustive narrative, which has
complete like side tracks of like like it's like basically Tristram Shandy is supposed to
be his father is supposed to be this genius of all things and he's been
spending like he's been spending hundreds of hours like writing guides for his new born
son to like understand all of the all of the intricacies of science and math
and art and literature, you know, one of those total pointy headed moments,
right. And so it's every single time a subject comes up, the
author like has a complete dozens of pages diversion into that subject, totally lose
a sight of the of the story of the book. Uh. And it's
it's supposed to be. We're supposed to be sort of like laughing and commiserating
about how how tedious it is. And the film kind of tries to imbue
itself with that spirit and that it doesn't try to replicate the book, but
it does try to say, well, what if a filmmaker was trying to
do what Laurence Stern was trying to do with this novel, how would he
disorder the film and how would he have diversions that of course wouldn't last three
hundred pages, which that's an exaggeration thirty pages, but you know, maybe
three minutes in terms of films, you know, proportionally, what would it
look like if you were to do this with film, and it's really cool.
It's a really cool movie. And that's kind of getting to what I'm
saying a little bit, while also acknowledging that the film can never be as
long and can't be as exhaustive to make the point that Stern makes, or
that Pension makes, or that David Foster wall David Foster Wallace makes with these
massive, fucking twelve hundred page tomes that are just full of these completely ludicrous
distractions, diversions, tours I mean looking for I mean honestly, like,
how can you you know, how can you write a fucking why unless you've
got a ton of fucking distractions, Who the fucking write a twelve hundred page
book? Well? You just you know, like, how does it?
How does a story require you to write that much shit going on? Yeah,
it's it's it's because you're after more than just a story with the beginning
in the middle and an end. You're after kind of like a an exploration
of thirty to forty notions you have, you know, when you're trying to
find a way to thread them together in one book, And my god,
it's just a tortured novelist, is what it is. Somebody who can't do
anything but right. And but Stephen King's the same way though, like you
just fucking I don't know. Again, I've never really even read a Stephen
King book, but like some of them are so fucking long. I'm like,
well, in his narratives, I don't know a lot about his books.
I haven't really read one cover to cover, but his narratives are linear,
you know, unless I'm sure there's exceptions. I don't want to oversimplify,
but he's you know, there's a begin, middle, and end with
the way he structures his books. He just has a lot of myself fucking
like, you know, nine hundred pages. It's like Jesus Christ. Once
you get h once you get one book published that takes off, that has
that much length to it, then you can just do it over and over
again. No editor or publishing house is going to say shit about it,
because you're now one of those novelists who's has who has that dispensation for the
sake of artistic expression to go as long as you want, I'm bored.
Yeah, well, and it's it's of course a lot we should talk,
I know. Yeah, we're kind of the version of it and the novelists
who go that long too, are dealing an incredibly dense and esoteric and hard
to follow subject matter. Like there's a lot of like math and thermo dynamics
and ship in the pinchin novels. That's just like, fuck, like this
guy is really just emptying everything he's ever learned in his fucking life. What
he's really doing is pinching my patients doing Yeah, yeah, make you feel
dumb real quick, But that's like, but it's all like with this kind
of absurdist, like self aware that you're doing it. You know, like
these characters, like all of a sudden, there'll be a character that just
has a huge nose for a head. There's no explanation as to why.
And that's the kind of ship that always makes me happy. Yeah, exactly.
You know, that's some post postmodern exactly, some fucking Brechtian ship going
on there, exactly, all of a sudden. So that's that's another thing
I want to see. I want to see a film made with complete fidelity
to every page of a classic novel film takes to finish. I think that
would be absolutely fascinating. Yeah to see I'd go, I'd go see it.
I think you could market it, man, if you like, if
you picked like Moby Dick, if you picked like a novel that is like
consensus classic, like not one that's so like. I think pt Anderson did
a pinchion novel, was it Inherent Vice? He was like the first Yeah,
yeah, he was like the first director to try to cinematize a pinchion
novel. I'm not talking about like that kind of really like dense modern postmodernist
literature. I'm talking about any to take anything, take a goal Over's travels
or something like that. But the whole notion is we're just going to keep
fucking making this movie until every single scene in the novel is depicted. That's
fucking awesome. Yeah, people would absolutely go to see it. Well again,
you know, if you think about it, I don't. I do
not think you could ever, at least not in one one movie. You
could not, because you know we're essentially talking it could be like ten hours,
like a ten hour film. Oh yeah, and you can release it
in pieces, but don't don't force every piece to have its own like beginning,
middle, and end. Just yeah, it just stops. After three
hours, it stops, and you want to the next yea, because one
was saying, like, you'd never be able to put a ten hour movie
in theaters because they wouldn't make enough money to rationalize it, because they couldn't
screen it enough times. But as a Netflix Netflix experiment, for sure you
could do. That's it, fucking ten hour movie, which I think would
be fascinating. That's it. And look if you came out with twelve parts
in theaters, I mean, it's hard enough to get people in theater,
like it might as well take a flyer to see if anyone will go to
see it, Like, yeah, if you're going to make it anyway,
put in theaters is almost like a limited release. But like, I don't
know if someone told me that fucking jeez, let me think of a now,
if someone told me The Great Gatsby was going to be released in like
this page by page thing over twelve four hour films in the next twelve months,
I might go to every single one of them. That would be interesting
to kind of like that. That's something that I was just thinking about.
It's like the idea that here you've got this this story being told, you
know, you know, almost like what if it was almost like an appointment.
Yes, movie going, you know where you're just a window you can
see it. It's like you had to go, like to go see the
movie every week or something, or maybe every two weeks or maybe every week
at like a discounted price maybe like something like that, because you do that.
Yep, you know, like guaranteed only show it on a weeknight,
you know, right right, like some kind of thing that would make it
worthwhile, Like you know you can that at the end you do the the
fucking forty eight hour long weekends sarrathon session and make a killing and and have
like a fucking theme night like you do with the Twilight movie releases and stuff,
right, oh man, or like with the fucking Lord of the Rings.
When I sat for twelve hours watching all three Lord of the Rings back
to back, So you did twelve hours. I mean, yeah, that's
halfway there almost. I mean that's not that Yeah it was that was rough
man, But yeah, that's a neat idea. I do like that.
I do like that idea again, like kind of like forcing it to be
right you you market it as such, like you know, you don't pretend
it's not that long. The whole point, the whole thing that draws you
in is, as you know, a classic that's never been told like this
before because you can't. You couldn't do it it works, is it?
Is it seemed by scene or or is it? Is it word by word
too? Like literally the the Well. If there's dialogue in the text,
it's word by word, okay, But if there's no, if it's if
it's not in quotes in the novel, you can you can play around with
depiction. I feel like that's that's fair. Okay, that's interesting. Yeah,
maybe maybe that'll be a lapse project. Someday they won't do that.
Maybe we'll do one of the Hull Cogan biography. I know there's some people
listening to this that don't have to connect it. Maybe that's what we should
do. We should do like one of the one of the wrestler biographies and
use those use those quoted scenes. Oh yeah, you know, you know
they're not afraid to make them up. I'd be fascinating. I'm talking like
first book. What makes it? Oh yeah, but what makes it work
is not like a niche thing like a wrestling But what makes it work is
like a classic novel, a classic piece of literature. As never as film
is never attempted to tell it before. Yeah. I think that's a big,
big attraction, I really do. Yeah, it would be interesting do
the Bible the Bible well, Jesus, I mean this probably problem is it
would probably take billions of dollars to make this movie. Would just be ridiculous
crazy, I mean because also, I mean you're also talking potentially all those
actors. Give me a break, right, you're holding up actors to be
basically booked up for I mean not that anyone would deny it, but you
get to pay actress for basically probably at least at least a year's worth of
work, you know, if not more, maybe even two years of shooting,
which is equally unheard of. Right, But and not to mention the
pre production, you know, like, man, how the fuck I mean
we're talking this is this would have to This would be like a almost like
a seven year project. Yeah, you would have to actually probably finance this
like as a one off venture like it could It wouldn't be. It couldn't
be something that you go and pitch an existing studio to find some money for
it, because it would just blow the budget. They just wouldn't be able
to conceive of it. It wouldn't be a responsible use of capital. But
I'm talking like some some billionaire who's got the nuts to see this right through,
brings the money to the table and says, just do it, just
do it for history. So I wonder, you know, it's like it
kind of reminds me of did you do you ever see that? Uh,
that Richard link Later movie? Uh? What the fuck is it? Is
it the life of a Boy's Life? Maybe? Is that always? Always?
It's boyhood? Boyhood's name of the movie. Okay, And it was
basically a movie that he filmed. It's it's not the same type of thing.
But what he did was he filmed this movie over twelve years with the
same people. Yep. Yeah, And you know you watch this kid and
all these actors basically grow over twelve years, like literally grow. Yeah,
it's kind of it's kind of what I mean, it's kind of a similar
vibe to that, you know, not it'd be more more work per se,
because he only filmed like a little bit here and there. But yeah,
that's something else that you would have happen over the course of filming something
in this manner, is that the actors, their appearances would change over they
were the film. They would because it would be very it to be challenging
if in the idea of the novel only a year has passed, for instance,
yeah, over five hundred pages or whatever it is. But I don't
know, don't pick the long one. Just do it for like, you
know, like I said, do it for the Crying of Lot forty nine
by a Pension, which is quite a small book. You could do,
right, you could. You don't need to do a eight hundred page novel.
You could do something like a two hundred pages that is Gatsby, Sun
also Rises, something that's like very digestible, something you could read in a
weekend, you know, start there. But I got ideas, friends,
Betty Coyle friends, absolutely absolutely, or like even like great Expectations or like
just the centerpiece novels. We get the idea. It'd be interesting too,
you know what. You know, what would be interesting too kind of a
neat thing is to do one like to do one that also has a very
legendary movie equivalent. Yes, like yes, I'll say this as an example,
Jaws, because Jaws was constantly being rewritten as a movie on the fly.
Also a ton a ton of subplots were cut out of the main movie,
right, A lot of like there was like weird subplots about infidelity and
all sorts of shit, like and because so when The Godfather, like yeah,
right, exactly, you do like so many Yeah, that's an even
that probably makes it even more digestible because you're not, like, you're not
trying to make a better movie. No, you know, you're not trying
to make a remake of the movie. What you're trying to do is experiment.
I mean, granted, these kinds of experimences usually end up failing big
time, like the fucking Psycho shot by shot remake, but it's, uh,
it's still I'd be fascinated. I would. I would, actually,
I mean in a weird way. They're kind of doing that, not not
the same thing, but they're doing you know, because they're now doing these
Harry Potter A series. Now they're redoing all the Harry Potter books but with
like a h a TV series, so like each book is now a season
of television as opposed to one two hour movie. I do I do actuid
them, you know, you know, I like the Harry Potter moves the
way they are. I don't know if Fargo carried a novel, but what's
happening with Fargo is a good example. Yeah, yeah, totally. It's
two hour movie. And then like, yeah, let's just say the two
hour movie was based on a four hundred page book. The TV series Fargo
that we're seeing now, that could just be right, a more faithful you
have the same title. It's like anyone who cares about that movie might be
interested, Like if we were, if we were as faithful as one could
possibly be to the author's intent, in the author's vision. Yeah, as
opposed to the option, right, you know whoever optioned it that this is
like as as the as the writer intended, that would be the goal.
I think it could be really neat. I think it'd be really neat.
Lapsed Entertainment Group Production. There we go, Jaws. Okay, yeah,
I got this great idea. I got a great idea I want to pitch
to you. It's about a shock that that that that that completely terrorizes in
New England town. What do you say, Beach community, what do you
say? You like it? I like it? What you mean tend to
dude, tend to terrorize his brother. That's the title Terror of Tenta.
Uh all right, where the funk was, where the fun it was?
Uh yeah. So so one of the here's here's something that was actually very
crucial. Again, these are the things you don't really realize that were because
because they are all all of these noteworthy things in any movie franchise, but
especially the James Bond movies, you need to they always had a starting point,
you know, not old times like you look at a franchises long learning
franchises, like you look at the Fight of the Thirteenth movies. Jason's mask,
the famed hockey mask, didn't show up to the third movie. You
know, like the thing that Jason Voorhees is known for in all those Part
of the Thirteenth movies is that fucking hockey mask. Absolutely, and it didn't
show up to the third movie. But here so much shit started day one,
first movie. And one of the important things is teaching Sean Connery how
to be James Bond, basically on camera and off camera and being you got
to teach him how to be a suave because he's he's not he's kind of
a like like like Broccoli said, he's kind of a bumpkin you know,
he's got sex appeal for sure, but he's he's not a high class suave
guy, right. He needs to be taught that. And that was through
Terrence Young, who would kind of throw it. He would kind of what
do you call it? Delegate it to some of his other colleagues. But
here this is a this is him talking about. This is from the Inside
Doctor Now documentary again and they're they're talking about how Sean Connery was taught to
be James Bond. Immediately, Tarrence Young and Connery work on creating the appropriate
style for James Bond. You have to remember that Sean was a pretty rough
diamond at that time, and Terrence taught him everything he knew. I think
he really sort of coached Sean how to be James Bond. He had a
maximum amount of style. He had an enormous influence on creating James Bond in
the person of Sean. This real style in the movement of the piece was
Urrance Young stamped all over it. If you asked what were the three ingredients
for Doctor to know for James Bond, it was Sean Connery, Sean Connor
and Sean Conry. There was a very high level meeting. We discussed a
great length the character of bond, the type of things he would have,
whether he would cut cuff lengths, type him an identity chain, what watch
he was wearing, what sort of wallet he would carry it? In those
days, it was not the gas lighter. It was the old petro lighter.
Really took me in hand and sort of knocked me into shape. With
this tailor and tumble Nasha's shirts and all the gear. The only gimmick,
if I may call it such, is the one where he carries his gun.
And the whole art of the thing is to cut the suit in such
a way so he just at a little bit fuller, so that it follows
the contour of the figure double O seven. Suits must take quite a lot
of wear and tear it still look good. You've got to put guts into
that so that whatever you do to the suit, if you can do that,
you see see what I'm doing that any well made suit, you should
be able to take it, roll it into a ball, crush it,
crush it, stamp on it, sleep in it, and then there you
are, you back again. You see. Connor's dress shirts are made by
Turnbull and Assa. Terrence Young brought the young Shoan Connery into turnbl and Assa
introduced him to the to the shop and the fitters. Here. What we
did for Bond was designed a very stylish Satorial shirt with a double cuff,
but instead of using a cuff link to fasten the cuff, we put two
buttons on the cuff. This made it easy for Bond to put the shirts
on and also easy for Bond to take the shirt off to get a feel
for the finely tailored clothes. Terence Young reportedly asked Conory to sleep in his
new suit. Connory obliges, and it's amazed when the suit feels just as
comfortable he awakens after a full night's rest. Mm hmm, Wow, this
makes some fucking sleep in it. Announcement was that he makes them sleep and
see you know he Sean Connery. He there was a There was a post
on Indie Wire dated October thirty first, twenty twenty, and here's here's what
this was a quote from Connory. Now. Terrence's contributions were enormous because he
was always a great bon vivante. He was very much up on the latest
shirts and blazers and was very elegant himself, whether he had money or not,
and all the clubs and that sort of establishment. And also he understood
what looked good, you know, the right cut of suits and all that
stuff, and which I must say was not that particularly interesting for me.
But he got me a rack of clothes and said, as they say,
get could get me to look conventionally dangerous in the act of playing it.
So Terrence Young would go on to direct two more Bond films from Russia,
with Love and Thunderball, sadly, neither of which will be featured on our
Journey. We will talk about them for sure, because they both have very
they do have important elements to them that play into the later films. His
daughter, Terrence Young's daughter Juliet Nissen, told the Western Daily Press in nineteen
ninety four that Terrence Young had a heart attack on September seventh, nineteen ninety
four, and he died in hospital in khan And you know, he made
movies throughout the time, and I just don't know, I know nothing.
They don't none of them have been I haven't even heard of them. That's
thing. Outside of the Bond films and the Red Beret, I've never heard
of any of his films. Again, not to say that that's any indication
of of his of his contributions to the film business, but I just he's
not someone who's been on my radar outside of James Bond. So you know,
it seemed like he lived a pretty quiet life and you know, decent
life. But last year some troubling information came to light. Okay, apparently
ready for it. I'm sure it's not too bad. Jamaican local named Marguerite
la Wars. She she she was cast to play a photographer in the film
and she had no ambitions to be a film star. She uh, you
know, she was just just a local because they filmed down in Jamaica and
she was an employee at the at the local airport and the production flew in
and you know, and then she's like, I'm gonna you know, they
want her to be in the film. When production wrapped, uh, there
was a wrap party schedule. Then she proceeded to share about what happened that
day on the Really Double O seven podcast Here we Go. I'm going to
tell you something that I've never told anyone before. And I saw because I
didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings. But at the wrap party, mister Young
asked me to go with him to the wrap party because we had finished now,
and he said, I have a limousine outside, so a let's go
to the limousine. We'll sit and then we will go. I said,
thank So there's a limousine. The seat seats in the back row, seats
in the second row, and the chauffeur. I got into the He said
to sit in the back, so I did, and he got in beside
me. Then all of a sudden, the middle door opened and Sean came
in with Ursula Andreds. They were going to the wrap party too. But
I'm sorry to tell you this. Terrence Young leaned forward and whispered in Sean's
air, and Sean looked at me, but I suppose a kind of a
surprise look on his face, and he turned to Ursula and they both got
out of the car. So now they're closed the door, and mister Young
said, Terrence said, drive of the beach party was in. That last
shoot was at a place called Morgan's Harbor, which is a little it's past
the airport, and the airport in Jamaica has a long, very dark,
winding road, which is eventually going one way gets to Port Royal. You've
ever heard of Port Royal? Port Royal, which was a very famous place
at the used by the pirates. Anyway, to get to this beach party,
you had to drive on this long road. And I'm sorry to say,
but Terrence became aggressively making a pass of me. It was more than
a pass. He actually he actually grabbed me at a place. I was
so shocked. I slapped him across his face. Wow. Back didn't stop
him. He did it again. I slapped him for a second time,
and he said. I said to him, I will seriously hurt you if
you touch me again, and I will jump up to this car. And
if I'm found dead on the road, it'll be your fault because this is
a very lonely road. Wow. He said, don't you know who I
am? You know those words that really and long. I said, I
do know who you are. He said, I will cut you out of
the film. I will cut you out of Dodor Do. And I said,
mister young, go ahead and cut me out because you have already paid
me, so cut me out. And this is getting to the reason why
it's not my voice. You didn't realize it wasn't my voice. No,
I think we did, but I didn't know it was because of this.
I'm so sorry to hear this, Margerite. I never ever told anyone.
We are the first people I've told. I just said there was a disagreement
with the director. In a little while, maybe about two months after that,
he phoned me from London, he said, Marguerite. He didn't apologize,
he just said, we need you to come over here to dumb at
Pinewood Studios. We'll send a ticket for you. I said, I'm not
coming. He said, but you might be caught out again. I said,
I told you could cut me out, but I'm not coming. I
want nothing more to do with you. He said, well, it's not
going to be your voice. I said, we'll find somebody else's voice,
or cut me out, and I'm hung a proponer. Oh well, well
done. Yeah. Sorry. I have to tell you, gentlemen. I
have to tell you that I was twenty two years old and when I read,
after all these years, you find the me Too movement, especially in
America, where young girls have been treated very badly that way by directors and
people, and they because they want to achieve to the top. They keep
it silent and wait all forty years. I handled it right away because I
didn't want to get into the movie world. Yeah, so that is my
story. What was her name again, Marguerite the Wars? Sure, look
at that. Yeah, and so she spent through the Wars. All right,
that's all right, I'll say Terrence Young, Oh, going for that
cheap shot. Absolutely. To listen to the rest of this episode of Under
the Cinematic, go to patreon dot com Slash the Laps fan and sign up
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