303 | CCPT Mindset (New Series): Examining the Language That Pulls Us from the Model

Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy

In this episode, I kick off a new CCPT Mindset Series focused on the hidden beliefs and unconscious language that quietly pull us away from full adherence to the CCPT model. I begin with one of the most common and seemingly innocent phrases I hear from therapists: "I just want to help." While it sounds well-intentioned (and often is), this mindset can subtly reinforce a directive stance—one centered on fixing, controlling, or producing outcomes.

I unpack why this phrase reflects an internal discomfort with the process, and how it can lead us to act from a place of anxiety rather than trust. I offer a simple but powerful reframe: replace "I want to help" with "I want to be with." In CCPT, helping doesn't mean fixing—it means creating the conditions for growth. This episode is a challenge to examine the words we use, the beliefs behind them, and the internal rewiring required to truly be CCPT, not just do it.

PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click!

If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Twitter: @thekidcounselor https://twitter.com/thekidcounselor Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast

Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

2025-05-27 18 min Transcript

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Transcript

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are diving into a new series,

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and this is a series on mindset.

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But maybe not in the way that you think.

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We've talked a lot about mindset in the past,

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but this is specifically

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rewiring the way that we think.

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About

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helping

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So,

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here's,

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let me,

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let me share my heart with y'all.

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Let's start there.

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I keep hearing so many therapists

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who

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profess to be CCPT or long to be CCPT

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are working

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to become CCPT.

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Ask

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innocent and well intended questions.

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That

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are usually phrased something along the lines of.

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I want to make sure,

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or

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I want to get them to,

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or I want them to feel,

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or I want them to process.

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Something

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along the lines of those sentences.

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And it always kind of gets under my skin a little bit because I think

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that's not aligned at all.

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It's not theoretically adherent.

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We

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can't.

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Speak those things and feel those things

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and think those things without that influencing

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our work.

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And I know that you can say,

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well,

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in practice,

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we can be fully adherent and still ask a question in that way.

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I'm sure that's true.

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But what I am hoping this series will do

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is reveal the invisible

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or maybe internalized beliefs.

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That are holding us back from being fully CCPT.

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And I believe that we're going to have to tackle the under the surface language

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that's almost always about control.

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When we ask questions like that,

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controls at the root of it.

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And or the need to fix.

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And or the desire to create a specific outcome.

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And or that we

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are the savior in the scenario.

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Therapist does save your mentality if you will.

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And all of those things have to be let go

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for CCPT

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to

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really be what CCPT is meant to be.

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So that's kind of the the backstory of why we're diving into this series,

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and I hope that you're tracking with me.

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I hope you're understanding where I'm going with this.

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So each week we're going to

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tackle a phrase or a thought

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that I hear consistently.

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Someone will email me or we'll be talking about

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it in the collective or in the coaching,

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and I think we don't even realize the way that we phrase things,

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but I think that those are maybe invisible or

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internalized beliefs and they get in the way.

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So

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my,

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my argument is.

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That they might be unconscious remnants.

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Look,

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let's be real clear.

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I don't think that these are conscious.

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I don't think we're even cognizant that we're saying these things.

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So I do believe they're unconscious remnants

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of,

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of more directive mindset.

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And it therefore it's showing up in the way that we think and speak,

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even when we're trying to be fully CCPT.

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So,

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I want to make sure that

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we are thinking through our internal framework and our internal mindset.

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And if that is still centered on control

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or shaping.

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We might think that we're CCPT,

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but

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those are not congruent.

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So today we're going to talk about the phrase,

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I just want to help

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da da dot.

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I just want to help this kid

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process trauma.

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I just want to help this kid

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work through anxiety.

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I just wanna help this kid

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not be so aggressive.

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I just wanna help this kid not get kicked out of school,

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that kind of thing.

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And that's the kind of language that undermines the model,

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and I know they're innocent statements,

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but

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that is very clearly directive.

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And these are innocent phrases.

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I get it,

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but I believe that they might reflect

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directive beliefs that are subtly shaping how we're showing up in the playroom

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or maybe even just the way we're thinking about our work.

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So we're gonna kick off this series

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and the goal is

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that we will have a mindset shift

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that allows us to be CCPT.

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Not just do CCPT.

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We talk about that all the time,

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but I think this series will help us understand,

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practically speaking what that looks like.

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So,

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This is not about the techniques of CCPT.

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This is about the way that we think.

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I think often we are using

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the skills

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and the tools and the principles and the tenets and

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all of the things that we've learned of CCPT,

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but I think sometimes we still process

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in directive ways,

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and then that shows up in the language that we use.

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So,

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quick anecdotal story.

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Related aside,

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as you all called me out on saying all the time,

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you guys will send me emails and you're like related

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aside dot dot dot as you like to say,

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I'm like,

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wow,

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do I say that that much?

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I'm sure I do.

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Anyway,

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so I'm gonna start saying anecdotal story.

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Y'all are changing my language right right in front of you.

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OK,

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I'm getting back on point,

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I promise.

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It's,

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it's interesting that you can learn a lot about

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the sense that tends to dominate a person.

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By the phrases that they say.

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They,

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they've done studies on this,

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that all the random facts that I have,

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I know.

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So if you are a visual

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person,

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you are likely to say,

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let me see what I can do,

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for example.

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So you will use a visual

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reference

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in some of your common phrases because you are a visual person.

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If you are an auditory person,

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you might say something like,

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I'll let you know what I hear.

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Because that is more auditory in nature.

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If you're a kinesthetic learner,

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you will reference something about actively doing something,

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so

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I'll take care of it

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or I'll make it happen,

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or let me get my hands dirty

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or something like that.

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So

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they've done studies that you can often figure out what kind of

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bent a person has toward the way that they learn best

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by the phrases that they say.

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And I'm a visual learner and I very much use visual.

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Based references a lot.

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So I've proven it true and of one here.

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Now you're gonna think about that and say,

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oh,

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what kind of learner am I?

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and what phrases do I say?

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And then let me know if it's true.

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Studies say it is,

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but I'm just letting you know my,

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my end of one says it's also true.

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All right.

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We,

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therefore,

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let's get back to the mindset and the CCPT.

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If we are saying things like,

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well,

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I just want to help,

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that's directive.

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So there has to be something there,

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and

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that therefore is incongruent and difficult

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to fully embrace a model if we're saying

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something that would be directive in nature.

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And I,

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I get it.

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This phrase feels harmless.

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It's common,

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it

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is well intended.

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And

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let's go back to the beginning.

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However and whenever you stumbled upon CCPT or as I like to say,

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when CCPT found you.

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It resonated because you truly and genuinely want to help kids.

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We helpers

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When you choose to do this for a living,

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it's because you're wired to help.

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So this makes sense that we would say something like,

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I just wanna help.

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However,

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the CCPT model.

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Makes it very clear

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that

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we do not guide.

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We do not fix

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We don't change.

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We don't have agenda,

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we're not working to achieve something,

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and that's almost always what helping is connected to.

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And almost always,

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our desire to help

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in a CCPT context comes from our own internal discomfort,

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not the child's need.

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Almost always when we wrestle with the model when we

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wrestle with our need to intervene to help to guide,

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to direct,

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to teach,

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to

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bring something up to whatever,

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it's because we are uncomfortable we're uncomfortable with the pressure

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we're getting from parents we're uncomfortable with the process,

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we're uncomfortable with the pace,

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we're uncomfortable with what's happening in session,

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we're uncomfortable with the letters that the

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child is still getting home from school.

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00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:52,630
There are

253
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,969
pressures that make us uncomfortable.

254
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:56,849
And then we quote,

255
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:57,799
do something.

256
00:08:59,059 --> 00:09:01,070
That's not being CCPT.

257
00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:02,070
Yes.

258
00:09:02,419 --> 00:09:02,729
So,

259
00:09:02,859 --> 00:09:04,169
I think if we say,

260
00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:05,900
I just want to help fill in the blank,

261
00:09:05,940 --> 00:09:06,179
right?

262
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,369
I want to help with whatever the scenario is.

263
00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:10,859
I think there are 3 considerations.

264
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:11,580
The first,

265
00:09:12,359 --> 00:09:14,400
It's unconscious need for control.

266
00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:17,239
We want to do something

267
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,200
to alleviate our own anxiety or our own sense

268
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,590
of helplessness or our own sense of doubt,

269
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:23,789
whatever the scenario is,

270
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,349
we want to do something to alleviate that for ourselves.

271
00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:28,669
Second possibility is

272
00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:31,570
it is very outcome minded and outcome based,

273
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,030
which therefore assumes

274
00:09:34,719 --> 00:09:36,169
we know what the child needs

275
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,239
and therefore it's all our role to provide it.

276
00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:42,619
And then the third consideration is,

277
00:09:42,830 --> 00:09:44,349
it's an inverted focus.

278
00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:48,809
Because the child becomes the object of intervention.

279
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:50,359
Not

280
00:09:50,539 --> 00:09:51,659
the self-directed,

281
00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:53,210
self-actualizing

282
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:54,969
leader of the process.

283
00:09:57,270 --> 00:10:00,119
I think if I am going to sum all of those three things up,

284
00:10:00,239 --> 00:10:03,369
this is how I would kind of bring that into one sentence.

285
00:10:03,859 --> 00:10:04,729
The second

286
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:07,349
that we try to help the child feel

287
00:10:07,619 --> 00:10:08,890
or behave differently.

288
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:12,559
We've taken over and we're not trusting their process anymore.

289
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,000
And we would,

290
00:10:15,030 --> 00:10:16,260
we would never do that.

291
00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:17,979
We would never want to do that.

292
00:10:18,549 --> 00:10:21,909
But that's inevitably what happens if we think about quote helping.

293
00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:24,559
So let's reframe,

294
00:10:24,820 --> 00:10:26,039
which we've been talking about

295
00:10:26,150 --> 00:10:27,450
reframing mindset.

296
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:29,919
Let's reframe the word help.

297
00:10:30,849 --> 00:10:32,109
So in CCPT

298
00:10:32,419 --> 00:10:35,690
help means create the conditions for growth.

299
00:10:36,859 --> 00:10:37,409
That's it.

300
00:10:38,789 --> 00:10:39,520
Not direct,

301
00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:40,340
not guide,

302
00:10:40,469 --> 00:10:40,989
not teach,

303
00:10:41,150 --> 00:10:41,700
not fix,

304
00:10:41,789 --> 00:10:42,599
not correct,

305
00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:43,479
not anything,

306
00:10:43,590 --> 00:10:45,679
it's create the conditions for growth.

307
00:10:47,210 --> 00:10:47,890
And

308
00:10:48,219 --> 00:10:50,409
the child will naturally self-actualize.

309
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,520
And the way that we do that,

310
00:10:52,650 --> 00:10:53,679
we're fully present.

311
00:10:54,669 --> 00:10:55,960
Attuned and engaged

312
00:10:57,109 --> 00:10:58,830
We use reflective responses.

313
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:00,729
We

314
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,200
offer freedom and autonomy in the playroom.

315
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:05,659
We trust

316
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:07,520
the child will self-actualize.

317
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,080
And we communicate to be with attitudes.

318
00:11:12,750 --> 00:11:14,619
Those are the conditions for growth

319
00:11:15,190 --> 00:11:16,590
that is us helping.

320
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,619
Because we're being CCPT.

321
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:21,919
That's it.

322
00:11:22,130 --> 00:11:23,960
We don't insert agenda,

323
00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:24,859
we don't

324
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:26,320
set goals,

325
00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:27,640
we don't nudge,

326
00:11:28,010 --> 00:11:29,640
we don't gently push.

327
00:11:30,609 --> 00:11:32,409
We create the conditions for growth,

328
00:11:32,489 --> 00:11:33,679
that is how we help.

329
00:11:35,510 --> 00:11:36,059
So,

330
00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:37,830
I just want to throw out a couple of examples

331
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:42,020
of things that I've either received in emails recently or

332
00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:43,710
heard in discussions.

333
00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:47,659
I just want to help him open up,

334
00:11:47,710 --> 00:11:48,369
end quote.

335
00:11:49,599 --> 00:11:51,140
These are examples that therapists have said,

336
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:51,369
you know,

337
00:11:51,469 --> 00:11:55,320
either in consultation or supervision or things that we're processing.

338
00:11:55,650 --> 00:11:57,349
I just want to help him open up.

339
00:11:58,590 --> 00:11:59,710
This suggests

340
00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:00,429
that

341
00:12:00,549 --> 00:12:01,919
we're trying to control.

342
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:05,059
How fast the child processes something.

343
00:12:06,409 --> 00:12:07,609
If a child hasn't opened up,

344
00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:08,570
the child's not ready,

345
00:12:08,650 --> 00:12:10,200
willing or able to open up yet.

346
00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:12,000
We can't control that.

347
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,059
Another phrase that I've heard.

348
00:12:15,729 --> 00:12:17,659
I want him or her to feel safe.

349
00:12:19,849 --> 00:12:21,390
Here's an interesting

350
00:12:21,849 --> 00:12:22,590
irony.

351
00:12:23,169 --> 00:12:25,159
We can't make a child feel safe.

352
00:12:26,419 --> 00:12:27,809
We can offer safety.

353
00:12:29,390 --> 00:12:31,179
We can create conditions

354
00:12:31,409 --> 00:12:33,159
that make a child feel safe.

355
00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:35,880
The conditions will allow for safety.

356
00:12:36,409 --> 00:12:37,880
We will offer safety,

357
00:12:38,289 --> 00:12:40,510
but we can't make a child feel safe.

358
00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:44,690
I'm helping him process his anger slash aggression slash

359
00:12:45,489 --> 00:12:46,400
whatever the

360
00:12:47,179 --> 00:12:47,880
issue is.

361
00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:49,960
I'm helping him process.

362
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:51,849
Well,

363
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:53,500
who's actually processing Ben?

364
00:12:54,739 --> 00:12:56,130
Guarantee you it's not the child.

365
00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:58,830
Because kids aren't rational.

366
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:00,750
Kids aren't logical,

367
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,070
they're not intellectual.

368
00:13:02,719 --> 00:13:03,229
So

369
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:06,270
if there's any quote processing that's taking place,

370
00:13:06,599 --> 00:13:07,630
it's adult led.

371
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:09,760
Not child-centered.

372
00:13:11,330 --> 00:13:12,130
And then

373
00:13:12,719 --> 00:13:14,929
I wanted him her to realize.

374
00:13:15,909 --> 00:13:16,599
And quote

375
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,299
CCPT is never about providing insight.

376
00:13:21,219 --> 00:13:21,880
It's about

377
00:13:22,090 --> 00:13:22,719
presence.

378
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:27,049
And so the challenge

379
00:13:27,330 --> 00:13:28,239
that I think we,

380
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:29,520
we need to be mindful of.

381
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:31,830
The phrase

382
00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:33,859
that is kind of at the heart of all this is,

383
00:13:33,950 --> 00:13:34,599
I wanna help,

384
00:13:34,669 --> 00:13:34,989
right?

385
00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:37,010
So how about if we replace,

386
00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:38,159
I want to help

387
00:13:38,770 --> 00:13:39,400
with,

388
00:13:39,729 --> 00:13:41,000
I want to be with.

389
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:44,330
Because that's what CCPT is,

390
00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:45,289
it's being with.

391
00:13:47,090 --> 00:13:50,020
So if every time we have the urge to think,

392
00:13:50,219 --> 00:13:50,729
say,

393
00:13:50,979 --> 00:13:51,650
or

394
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:52,729
even

395
00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:53,849
feel,

396
00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:55,169
I want to help.

397
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,450
If we replace it with,

398
00:13:57,609 --> 00:13:58,880
I want to be with.

399
00:13:59,789 --> 00:14:00,960
That's fully adherent.

400
00:14:02,650 --> 00:14:03,520
So,

401
00:14:03,929 --> 00:14:05,239
food for thought questions.

402
00:14:05,690 --> 00:14:08,559
Where in your practice do you feel the urge to help

403
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:09,770
most strongly?

404
00:14:11,219 --> 00:14:12,229
That will

405
00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:16,950
give you some insight into what you're prone to feel uncomfortable with.

406
00:14:17,929 --> 00:14:20,200
When are you feeling the strongest urge to help,

407
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:21,309
in what circumstance,

408
00:14:21,369 --> 00:14:22,640
with what kind of kid,

409
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:24,000
what's going on,

410
00:14:24,369 --> 00:14:24,859
when

411
00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:27,239
and where are you feeling the urge to help?

412
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:29,169
What

413
00:14:29,349 --> 00:14:30,760
internal discomfort

414
00:14:31,140 --> 00:14:31,979
is fueling it.

415
00:14:33,510 --> 00:14:35,700
Because that's 100% coming from you.

416
00:14:37,229 --> 00:14:39,330
And what would it look like to replace,

417
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:39,809
quote,

418
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:40,729
helping

419
00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:42,609
with holding space?

420
00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:46,000
And I think I,

421
00:14:46,049 --> 00:14:49,049
I was actually talking to my pastor quite a few months ago now,

422
00:14:49,169 --> 00:14:49,510
but

423
00:14:49,929 --> 00:14:51,400
we were talking about therapy

424
00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:52,380
and

425
00:14:53,330 --> 00:14:54,340
He said

426
00:14:54,739 --> 00:14:56,440
the thing that I've found is,

427
00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:58,409
no matter what kind of therapy you're in,

428
00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:00,400
no matter who your therapist is,

429
00:15:00,809 --> 00:15:02,320
when you choose to

430
00:15:02,929 --> 00:15:03,989
change behavior,

431
00:15:04,289 --> 00:15:05,599
you have to replace

432
00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:07,929
your old behavior with a new behavior,

433
00:15:07,969 --> 00:15:09,919
you can't just stop the old behavior.

434
00:15:11,590 --> 00:15:14,340
And I've pondered that so much since that

435
00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:16,289
conversation and there was more to the conversation,

436
00:15:16,299 --> 00:15:16,659
obviously,

437
00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:17,099
but

438
00:15:17,409 --> 00:15:17,559
the,

439
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:19,130
the phrase that has stuck with me

440
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,130
was

441
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:21,729
regardless of your therapist,

442
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:22,760
your therapy,

443
00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:24,070
your theoretical model,

444
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:24,729
whatever,

445
00:15:25,059 --> 00:15:26,729
if a person chooses to change,

446
00:15:26,739 --> 00:15:29,179
they have to replace the old behavior with a new behavior.

447
00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:31,609
They can't just eliminate the old behavior.

448
00:15:33,450 --> 00:15:34,130
And

449
00:15:34,299 --> 00:15:34,799
so,

450
00:15:34,969 --> 00:15:36,479
with that in mind,

451
00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:39,880
if we want to not say something like I want to help.

452
00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:43,109
We have to replace it with something else.

453
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,390
So instead of saying,

454
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:47,429
I want to help him calm down.

455
00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:51,159
I want him to learn how to self-regulate.

456
00:15:51,570 --> 00:15:53,020
I want to help him

457
00:15:53,489 --> 00:15:55,020
build an emotional vocabulary.

458
00:15:56,460 --> 00:15:57,940
We could replace it with.

459
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,469
I'll sit in the pocket

460
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,349
while he moves through this feeling.

461
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:05,359
I'll be with him.

462
00:16:06,349 --> 00:16:07,359
I'll sit right here.

463
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:08,549
I'll stay with him

464
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,309
while he moves through this.

465
00:16:12,289 --> 00:16:12,960
Or

466
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,239
Instead of,

467
00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:17,559
how can I help her feel more confident?

468
00:16:18,289 --> 00:16:20,320
How can I help her feel less anxious?

469
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,119
How can I help her,

470
00:16:22,570 --> 00:16:23,760
whatever the scenario is.

471
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:27,380
I'll reflect her feelings

472
00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:29,039
and I'll trust her process.

473
00:16:29,950 --> 00:16:30,919
That's the replacement.

474
00:16:32,030 --> 00:16:32,659
See how,

475
00:16:32,729 --> 00:16:33,530
how can I help?

476
00:16:33,570 --> 00:16:34,280
I want to help.

477
00:16:34,330 --> 00:16:35,280
I need to help.

478
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,320
I should help.

479
00:16:37,739 --> 00:16:38,809
All of a sudden,

480
00:16:39,140 --> 00:16:41,010
there's directive nature there.

481
00:16:42,219 --> 00:16:44,340
We have to replace it with something else,

482
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:46,020
and wanting to help is not wrong.

483
00:16:46,190 --> 00:16:46,390
Let's,

484
00:16:46,469 --> 00:16:47,940
let's be real clear on that.

485
00:16:48,309 --> 00:16:49,549
We're all wired to help.

486
00:16:50,359 --> 00:16:51,250
And there's

487
00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:54,359
admirable qualities of someone that wants to help.

488
00:16:55,479 --> 00:16:58,690
But in CCPT we have to redefine what that word means.

489
00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:02,570
So start noticing where this phrase is creeping into your thinking.

490
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,300
Recognize it,

491
00:17:05,719 --> 00:17:06,589
admit it.

492
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,189
Offer replacement languages and phrases instead.

493
00:17:11,188 --> 00:17:15,019
There are ways to be aware of this and therefore make adjustments,

494
00:17:15,029 --> 00:17:17,828
and that's the goal because our mindset shifts

495
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:19,698
are often just one

496
00:17:19,909 --> 00:17:21,198
aha moment at a time.

497
00:17:22,239 --> 00:17:22,409
We,

498
00:17:22,489 --> 00:17:24,638
we were made aware of something that we weren't before

499
00:17:24,968 --> 00:17:26,198
and we're able to

500
00:17:26,448 --> 00:17:26,958
shift

501
00:17:27,128 --> 00:17:28,019
the way that we think

502
00:17:28,529 --> 00:17:29,568
and that's the goal of the series,

503
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:30,918
that's the goal of this episode.

504
00:17:31,328 --> 00:17:33,558
So I hope that that encourages you.

505
00:17:33,688 --> 00:17:37,168
I hope that if you are one that you can

506
00:17:37,168 --> 00:17:39,389
hear yourself in some of the phrases that I've said

507
00:17:39,798 --> 00:17:41,078
that you don't feel guilty,

508
00:17:41,369 --> 00:17:45,168
but you recognize it as an opportunity to be more intentional about the words

509
00:17:45,168 --> 00:17:48,568
and the phrases that you're saying and therefore the things that you're thinking.

510
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:49,910
Because

511
00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:51,119
out of the heart,

512
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,229
the mouth speaks.

513
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,829
So we need to be really aware of what might be unconsciously

514
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,310
in there that's more directive than we think.

515
00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:00,459
In the next episode,

516
00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:01,849
we will unpack

517
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:04,849
another common mindset related to this,

518
00:18:05,339 --> 00:18:07,369
that we can make a child feel something.

519
00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:08,790
So it was,

520
00:18:08,829 --> 00:18:11,270
I want to help this week and next week it'll be,

521
00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:12,979
I want to make the child feel something.

522
00:18:13,589 --> 00:18:13,869
All right,

523
00:18:14,069 --> 00:18:14,589
love y'all.

524
00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:16,780
I'm really grateful to spend time with you each week.

525
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:17,650
We'll talk again soon.

526
00:18:17,869 --> 00:18:18,069
Bye.

527
00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:22,030
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

528
00:18:22,189 --> 00:18:23,189
Brenna Hicks.

529
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,300
For more episodes and resources,

530
00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:30,130
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.

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