240 | It's Not About the Toys: The Power of the Therapeutic Relationship in CCPT

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

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Your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi, I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get a master class in child-centered,

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play therapy and practical support and application for

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your work with children and their families.

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In today's episode. I am answering a question. Actually, two questions from

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Mikayla in Illinois.

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Mikayla.

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Thank you for the email and nice to hear from someone in Chicago.

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Actually, I just had another email from Chicago on a few episodes ago. So

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I guess Chicago is kind of a hub of CCPT these days. That's exciting.

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All right. So two questions from

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Mikayla and I'll read a little bit of her email and then both questions and we'll dive in

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before I get into that.

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I'm excited to report that quite a few of you have RSVP for or registered,

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I suppose for the live podcast event.

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I just checked numbers

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and we already have quite a few registered.

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So, really looking forward to that if you have not done so yet,

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January 3rd at 2 p.m. Eastern,

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please hop on. But you will need to register and the link will be in the show notes.

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So please make sure that you have a Zoom account

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and that you are able to get registered for that.

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And then we'll know how many will be there and I'll be able

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to gauge a little bit more how to structure that hour together.

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All righty. So

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let's hear a little bit from

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Mikayla. And then we'll dive into the questions

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I wanted to reach out and say thank you for your podcast.

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I'm sure you get a ton of emails like this. I do, but I'm always grateful for them

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to share my journey.

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I'm a graduate MSW student in a clinical therapy internship in the Chicago suburbs.

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I wasn't a quote kid person and have virtually no experience with them.

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Isn't it funny how God directs our paths?

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But I wanted to be open to kids as the new intern.

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I started working with two kids aged eight

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and in preparation was so clueless that I took to the internet.

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Like all gen Z students were taught

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and Googled child therapy models.

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I found CCPT as one of the first options and really liked what I saw.

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Then I found your podcast shortly thereafter and started listening constantly.

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It made so much sense and it wasn't easy, but it was simple.

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And isn't that the truth? It is not easy, but it is simple.

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I've been in my internship about three months now and I

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have exclusively been learning and practicing CCPT with my young friends.

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Congratulations Mikayla. I am so happy for you.

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I share it with my colleagues and now tell all my children's

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parents about your podcast as a resource during my intake sessions.

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I explain the model to parents now as well and I might

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begin to market myself as someone who uses this specific approach.

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High five over the airwaves.

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I'm really turning into a kid therapist. Yes,

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I feel the social work advocate in me coming out as I advocate for their right

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to autonomy and value in having safe spaces

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where they are unconditionally loved and accepted.

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I also wanna say I love CCPT because

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it aligns with my spiritual religious values as a Christian

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finding the CCPT model was so validating for me to

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find something that aligned with both my clinical and spiritual values.

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And I echo that 100%.

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All right. So I have a few questions on CCPT. The first.

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Does this model still work if I don't have the range of toys in the categories?

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I work in an agency with basic board games, legos and coloring books.

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I always start my kids with saying you're in charge,

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you can choose what you do for today.

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But I don't have any of the toys that fall

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into the categories and themes you describe or a playroom.

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Will the model still work

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short answer? Yes.

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So let's dive into this a little bit

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it is actually quite common

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to not have a fully equipped playroom

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to be in a very small space that was

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an afterthought, you know, oh,

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you can have this janitor's closet and I'm not making that up.

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I've actually had clinicians that have let me know that they

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were given a janitor's closet to make into their playroom.

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And

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in many environments there is not a fully

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equipped playroom that there is not a permanent playroom

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and or it's not

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fully functional in the way of having the three categories broadly represented.

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And all of the things that we would like to see.

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However,

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the beauty of children and their play

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is that they will use

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what they have.

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In other words, whatever they do have access to, they will make it work.

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Let me tell a really quick story because I think this will illustrate the point.

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I don't know how often I've talked about this,

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but I taught English in Honduras for

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quite a few summers

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and I would say

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a large chunk of my heart is still there.

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I have such a special place in my heart for Honduras

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and the people and the country and the culture and all of it.

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So really, really special to me.

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And I have vivid memories and we were in very rural, mountainous, small villages,

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no electricity,

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no

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plumbing.

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The water literally was piped with a pump straight from the river to the showerhead

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and you could only wash like one part of you at

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a time because the water was so cold you like,

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didn't want to be in the stream of water.

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You could not flush toilet paper. There was no electricity.

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We ate off of the land around us.

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I mean, it was about as poor third world, rural,

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mountainous village that you can imagine.

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And I'm telling you that to say

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the very first time that we pulled into this town, by the way,

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if any of you are from Honduras or have been to Honduras,

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it was the tiny little town of Conchas.

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And we pull in

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and these are extremely impoverished families,

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dirt floors,

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ramshackle huts,

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many without solid roof on the home,

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just as poor as poor gets.

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And kids had found an old bike rim.

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So think of a bike tire,

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the old rim.

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So you know that the tire was long flat and ruined, so removed from the frame

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and they had two sticks and they were running barefoot down the dirt road,

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rolling the tire rim,

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holding two sticks so that they could keep the tire balanced

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as they chased it down the hill and it rolled.

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And I remember thinking I was not a play therapist at the time.

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Well, I had never even heard of play therapy

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and I remember thinking

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kids will come up with ways to play

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no matter how little they have.

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And then another illustration that I think about is when you give a child, a present

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and they play with the box more than they play with the toy.

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You know, like you get a new refrigerator

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and they will play in that refrigerator box for eight weeks

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because it can be a fort and a rocket ship and an airplane and a boat and whatever else.

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And you go, why do I buy toys when they will just have so much fun with this box?

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It's creative imaginative play and it's making do with what is available.

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So those are my two stories to illustrate my point, Mikayla.

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I promise, I'm circling back.

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You said you have board games, Legos and coloring books,

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not very much at all,

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but

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in the child-centered model,

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it's about the relationship anyway,

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which that's actually going to be a big part of my answer to your second question.

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So I won't jump ahead,

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but we know it's about the relationship.

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We know it's about the autonomy and the freedom

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and

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the child can choose to color.

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The child can choose to play games or the child can choose to build with legos.

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And if you say you can play with the toys in

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most of the ways that you want and you're in charge,

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that is very clear that the child will do what they need to do.

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If they need to be imaginative or creative, they'll likely play with legos.

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If they need safe structured activities,

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they will likely gravitate toward board games.

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If they kind of want a hybrid of both. They might color,

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they might do something else entirely.

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They might pick up markers and drum on the table.

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They might find a piece of paper,

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wadded up and use it as a ball and throw it against the wall and catch it.

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Kids are wired to play

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and they will play with

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what they have access to. Now,

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I don't know what

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your

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capabilities are in the way of adding some things to the room.

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I would absolutely, even if it's at your own expense,

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I would add some things. Even if you have to bring them in and then take them back out.

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Get a really large Rubbermaid container,

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go to the dollar store,

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go to thrift stores, go to garage sales

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and at a very low cost, start accumulating

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some of the things from the three categories

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and then you can put them out and take them back if they

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can't stay in the room or they can stay in the room.

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And even if you spend $20, $25, $30 to get some other stuff in there,

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it will absolutely bring value.

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It will be money well spent

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and your children will benefit from it.

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But even if you are unwilling or unable to do that

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with what you have in there,

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it is more about the relationship and it is

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more about your language with them in the room

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than what they're actually able to do.

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So I would say yes, absolutely.

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The model will still work.

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OK.

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So second question, I'm an intern and I am of course,

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still learning a ton on how to do therapy in general.

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And this model specifically

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will the approach still work without a perfect technical application from me.

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I'm trying to be open and trust the process and tell parents to trust the process.

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But I do wonder if I'm actually doing what I think I'm doing

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and if I should be confident in that or change my therapeutic approach.

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All right. Well,

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you probably know me, you say you listen to my podcast pretty religiously.

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So, you know,

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I'm not going to advocate that you change your therapeutic approach at all.

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100% all in CCPT.

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However,

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you are trying to be open and trust the process. That's what you need to do.

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It's what is a necessity in this scenario

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and you communicate that to parents as well.

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I wonder if I'm actually doing what I think I'm doing well.

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I'm not sure what you think you're doing.

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But

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I will say this

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if you think

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that you are all in on CCPT

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and you are building and maintaining and preserving a relationship

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with your clients

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and you are staying adherent to the model as much as you know it.

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If you think that's what you're doing,

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then you absolutely trust the process

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and

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you are patient

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and will this still work, work without a perfect technical application for me.

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Let's be really clear and really real.

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There is not a one of us myself included

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that has a perfect technical application of this model at

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every minute of every session that we have with kids,

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not a one of us.

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So are there varying degrees of imperfection among us? I'm sure.

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But none of us are perfect at this

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and we don't have to be

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because the clinical matters, the skills are important.

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But at the end of the day,

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the relationship trumps all.

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So we work on that and that alone,

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the easiest ways to do that.

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Your three reflective responses,

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your five be-with attitudes,

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you keep those in mind

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and you will be on track,

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you will be adherent,

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you will build and maintain and preserve the relationship

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and the child will self actualize because the child

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will want to become a better version of themselves.

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So absolutely,

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the model works even without perfect technical application from you

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because if it required perfect technical application,

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none of us would have any success with our clients.

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But over and over and over again,

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we watch the transformations take place in front of our eyes.

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So it is more about the relationship than anything else, Mikayla focus on that.

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The relationship is the most important piece of what we do.

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You

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stay really, really clearly attuned to that,

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the things that we want to see happen will happen.

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Mikayla. Thank you. So much for the question.

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I hope that that was helpful for all of you. Actually, both questions

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and we are always trying to keep in mind

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through every single day, every single hour in a playroom.

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We're trying to keep in mind

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why we do this

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even with our imperfection, even with our lack of toys,

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even with our confusion and unknown of what we should be

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doing or shouldn't be doing or saying or not saying?

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Or do I even have any idea what's going on right now

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in the midst of all of that,

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we're doing this to provide a space for kids

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that need to be unconditionally loved and accepted

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the relationship,

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the environment,

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the time, the tools and the opportunity.

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If those are present,

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the miraculous change takes place

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and that is why we trust the process because we know that that is true.

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So if we remind ourselves of that,

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we can get through a lot of unknown.

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All right, love you all so much. We'll talk again soon. Bye.

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Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr

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Brenna Hicks. For more episodes and resources.

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Please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.