#40: How Underdeveloped Leadership Spreads: From Your Inner World to Company Culture— Part 1

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Eric:  Welcome to the Empower Podcast. I'm your host, Eric Pfeiffer, CEO of Empower. Coaching leadership isn't about titles or positions. It's actually about the influence and impact we have on our environments. This is where we get to learn how to operate well under pressure, lead with confidence, and drive meaningful results.

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Last week we talked about what it feels like when we as leaders get stuck, and today we're looking at something most leaders don't recognize until it's already impacting everything. Around them. That sounds super scary, but guess what? I think all of our listeners are gonna resonate with some of the things that we're talking about today, and if you do, guess what, you're in good  company.

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Dawn: right. And I think the unfortunate truth is  that most of us as leaders, we ho we hope that our internal struggles. Stay personal, right? The, these ripples, they, the areas that were underdeveloped, they feel like personal struggles and, and we want them to stay that way because as leaders sometimes our biggest fear, it's exposing our weaknesses and kind of getting found out.

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They quickly become organizational problems. So today what I wanna do is unpack how our growth or our lack of ability to grow goes  up on our teams. Often long before we can even name what that thing is inside of ourselves. Eric, help us unpack this a little bit. Why does underdevelopment spread so quickly, even for those of us leaders that genuinely we're trying our best, like we have the best intentions at heart?

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We'd like to think that we can blame our spouse, but the reality is if we understand that we are leaders, we have influence and impact in every environment we go, then we have to accept. That we are responsible in part, for shaping the environment  around us. Yes. And a culture is caught long before it's taught.

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When you're underdeveloped in any area,  the team doesn't just notice they absorb that underdevelopment. Now, I just wanna make sure for all of us, we remember, this is not an all or nothing thing. We we're all bringing wonderful qualities, superpowers to the mix, and people are absorbing those, right? But if we're not careful.

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This is the ripple effect. Our internal deficiencies become the operating environment for everybody else, and that's why underdevelopment matters. So if we can just start by saying, we need to all accept that we have areas that we're  underdeveloped in. Right? And not that it not necessarily by fault of our own.

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Shame on us as leaders. They're, because I am doing a little bit of shame creeping in right now. Don save me. They're all their life raft.  Well, let me just say, I was working with a leader this week who has built an amazing business and yet. Some of these ripples are starting to show up in her team, and what she has to recognize is, Hey, what got me here to this point in my growth and development is not going to sustain getting to that next mountain.

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Then again, this is another  area that we'll see some of these ripples start to impact our team. Lemme

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We're not really victims. It's kind of a funny way to say it, but yeah, we're not really victims because being at the edge of our capacity reveals the opportunity for increased growth and development. So I just love when you said that because when I think back on just this, our coaching business and power  coaching have numerous times.

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I've experienced some measure of success, and now it's time to reengage that  transformational journey.

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Yeah, love it. Because what I heard you saying is that if we are, it can sometimes be easier to see where this is showing up on our team. Than to identify where it's  actually showing up in us.

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We're thinking out loud. We aren't clear on our  expectations. Maybe we aren't even clear ourselves on what we're trying to communicate. Yeah. But we can. So we assume that our team is tracking with us right now, how this shows up, what this looks like. Look for these signs on your team if you're having repeat questions.

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Eric: So the theme of communication obviously, is so big and broad that we're not gonna able to cover every facet of that and, and even all  of, um, where, how that shows up with our clients, the organizations we work with.

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Right. And we've seen so many examples of in different sports leagues, some  owners able to put together the super team and then they underperform and there's confusion and chaos in the midst of the team. That's because. At the beginning of the journey, somebody forgot or failed to introduce our playbook.

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I  think when we're talking about Radical Men Center, really what we're talking about is how we set culture. Okay, so I've often said is the way that we can understand culture most simply is, this is how we do it. This is how we do it. Write that Montel Jordan song, that chorus. This is how we do it. Boom. I know how you do it.

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Dawn: And I would add to that, if you as a leader have not slowed down long  enough to be clear for yourself.

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And so we have to do it over and over until it becomes the mantra of our team. And thirdly, we have to provide a regular process where we get to review and  hold ourselves and each other accountable. Where are we identifying? Where we are operating according to our RMS? And celebrate that and look at the results, right?

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The energy flows, the blood flows. You don't deal with as many internal issues and your digestion and in your muscles and your, he said, but what do people want? They just  wanna absolve pain, but they don't wanna do the work too. Sustain alignment. And so that's what we're talking about. This does require a consistent energy.

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Eric: Yes. And is, are you commenting on our medical system here in our country? What are you doing? Are you trying to push into a, a controversial.

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Eric: So on Monday, so we're recording this here, mid-December 2025. Right? So our listeners will get this probably right after the new year. Happy New Year. But one of the things we do with our  clients, oftentimes it during a major transition during the year, like obviously the calendar year is shifting over.

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Right. And then second question, uh, identify the one area where you feel like you grew most  significantly as a leader. So they share all their breakthroughs and celebrations from the year as a company, and we process them and reflect and I'm like, yay. And then they share their own personal growth as leaders.

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We'll just provide those for you through our operating system and as they align themselves and  do that work. The ripple effects, the benefits. Yeah. The breakthroughs of what they've experienced. They were able to connect the dots and go, wow. Mm-hmm. And obviously that's what we need. We need to see those benefits to reward.

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I have to go every week, blah, blah blah. And she says, Hey babe, hold on. Lemme connect some dots for you. Are you aware that in the last probably six weeks you have not once complained about sciatica pain? Are you aware that you've not once complained about back pain? As a matter of fact, most evenings before you would wake up with incredible cramps in your hamstring, you would wake up with pain in your body and you realize over the last six weeks you, I have not, I cannot recall you complaining one time  connecting those dots between the work that we do internally and the benefits is not always obvious.

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And when empowerment is underdeveloped in us as  leaders, the initiative on our teams shrinks. So we might experience this as constant check-ins, a fear of making mistakes, decision bottlenecks, leaders doing the work that their team should be doing, or employees playing small. Hmm. So when we have leaders that are communicating those pain points, Eric, what do you tell them?

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So what I will tell people is when they're in an environment where they've been given responsibility without. The  commensurate authority to decide, act on execute on that responsibility. Then what happens is everything ultimately has to go back up to a Bottlenecking leader. 'cause everybody's waiting for decisions to be made.

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Dawn: true. And when you think about, especially our, those people on our team that are  particularly driven results oriented, and you give them a responsibility, but then they actually, they can't make the decisions to reach the outcomes that they've been assigned to be responsible for. We are putting those team members in a very difficult position.

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But it normally reveals in us as leaders is. A fear of letting go of control, right? A fear that someone might do something that would reflect poorly on us as leaders,  right? And this is no different than in parenting. Like how often do we ask our kids to do something and give them responsibility, but then we kind of jump in and micromanage and overpower them or scold them.

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Is it this kind of sense of, you know what, it's always better if I just do it anyway. And this is why there are kids in homes in that are in their late teens or early twenties whose parents still do their laundry and make all their meals and clean up after them and make their  beds and, and schedule their events.

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The people that are like, yeah, I know I need to delegate. I know I need to give away responsibility, but we don't delegate, we dump. That's right. Just take it all. Here you go.  Push him into the deep end. Throw him off a cliff. Hope that works. Hope the parachute works. Hey, I know it's your first time skydiving.

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And then what we find as we have the conversation is I've asked them to accomplish these tasks. I've given them these projects, I've given them these responsibilities, and then I check in with them  three months later and I find out, you know what? They've made no headway. They're not any further down the road than they should be.

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Because guess what? It's not gonna happen magically. It's not gonna happen by accident. And these are some of the cultural features within a team or organization that ultimately undermine people's confidence that ultimately cause people to shrink back, to turn over. And so whatever gutter that we most resonate just as Li and our listeners are wrestling with, is just to, which  one do we tend to lean toward?

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And oddly enough, being a good marketer, those skills didn't develop that person and prepare them for  leadership like we. We do this as leaders all of the time. Well, that person is competent, they're a good communicator, they're whatever. Now let's put them in into a position of leadership. And I was just having this conversation with one of our leaders this week.

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But you have to be investing in the development of your people. You can't just throw them in the deep end and Godspeed. Good luck. Hope you learn how to float real quick. I said, you have two choices. You either. Fire them now because you're not gonna give them the opportunity to ever succeed or you choose to invest in them.

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Eric: And, and again, you and I both would agree. There are times when that is the appropriate decision. A hundred percent. Again, parenting and leadership are not perfect parallels, but there are so many wonderful parallels, which is why my wife and I have utilized our, this leadership operating system that we've  developed as our parenting framework, as well as any leadership f.

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Ah, they never listen. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, hold on. One of my favorite things to say to parents when they're complaining about their teenagers, I say, Hey, I'm sure you don't fall into this category. What I have discovered is that the problem is normally not with the  teenager. They're just being teenagers.

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Eric: Because there's no reason to rush through all this. Mm-hmm. We can just, we can take some of these other ripples, throw 'em into the next episode, and I'm sure our listeners wouldn't mind us not having a three hour podcast. So let me just share a quick story and then  we'll move into some practical thoughts about what we can do with what we're learning today and, and then call it a session.

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Eric: I'm hearing. That the challenges, the problems, the frustrations, whether with his team, whether with his  investors, with whoever. He's frustrated with all of them, but what I'm hearing is. Hey dude, you probably have some responsibility in this situation, right? And so we just gently began to point at some of these and it was unbelievable.

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Let's talk about the systemic dynamics. Can I point at some things? And little by little, he began the process of on his own. As I just threw out these ideas, he would say, you know what? I don't think I am. I realize until right now how I've been operating that would contribute to that. And literally, for each one of these ripples, he was willing on  his own to say, Eric.

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You've  got so many breakthrough you got, you have so much success. That's right. Like you could hang it up now, call it a day, and nobody would argue with the success that you've experienced in life. But I said I, I hope when I'm in my sixties, I'm still as passionate to grow, to develop, to be transformed, to learn, to become even a more and more of an asset and to the people and the projects that I'm invested in.

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Eric: I love that. All right. Let's talk just some practical handles for our listeners. Here's some things I want us to encourage us to reflect on this week. I want us to think about what's one ripple in our midst that we can resonate with. Identify, maybe it's something we've shared,  maybe it's something else that you've identified as our listeners, and maybe it's in the area of communication gaps or how we're showing up our emotional tone or mood.

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And what needs to change. And if we're able to have that  conversation either internally or with somebody else and we're able to do it and fend off the voices of shame. Guilt and pride, that kind, nah, it's never your fault. Whatever those, like if we can fend off those internal voices and just stay on the path of personal responsibility, I tell people it's never all our fault.

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Dawn: That's right, because the thing that I hope people are picking up from this conversation is we don't correct  these ripples by fixing our team. We have to correct them by adjusting the source, which is us as leaders, and development becomes team development every single time.

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Listeners, remember, leadership is an on the job training reality. We have to learn on the job. There's no other  way to do it, right? And so we love that you're on this journey with us. We're grateful to partner with you and we hope that something that we've shared today empowers you, makes you feel more clear and confident as you continue your on the job training.