Spilling Secret Lives of Mormon Wives with Miranda Hope

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It's La La Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, Laala, Hello, gorgeous, Welcome back to Untraditionally, Lala. I have officially become a fan of the Mormon Wives show on Hulu. And there's a reason for that. So Miranda, who just recently was added to the cast. And it's crazy because Utah is definitely a small place. So I know of Miranda because of Easton, my brother, and Miranda was dating one of Easton's best friends. So when she entered the mix of Mormon Wives, I was like, oh my gosh, I gotta get her on the pod. So please give your loudest warm welcome to Miranda from Mormon Wives. Hello, Miranda Hope. How are you, my love?

00:00:51
Speaker 2: I'm so good. How are you?

00:00:52
Speaker 1: I'm good? You look stunning. Love the cross necklace?

00:00:55
Speaker 2: Thank you? Thank you. True Mormon fashion, right.

00:00:58
Speaker 1: True Mormon fashion. How is Utah these days?

00:01:01
Speaker 2: It's good? I mean, probably better than it used to be.

00:01:04
Speaker 1: I would say, really, why do you say that? I don't know.

00:01:08
Speaker 2: I just feel like, I mean, I'm from Idaho, which is kind of like an extension of Utah. I would say it's like a little a little more diverse, not by much, a little bit.

00:01:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where we would go to get the kegs for parties, is I see.

00:01:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the liquor laws that are a little better, for sure. But yeah, I feel like growing up and Idaho, I still had a lot of the same you know, cultural cultural things that you deal with growing up in Utah. But I feel like Utah just feels in Idaho too, just feels a lot more diverse. I think, you know, maybe it's because a lot of people have left the church and a lot of people have moved into the state. You know. I think there's a few factors that plays play a role in it. But I feel like it's different than it used to be for sure.

00:01:53
Speaker 1: Yeah. I left Utah when I was twenty three and I'm thirty five now, and growing up there was such a strange It was a wonderful place to grow up. I would not have had it any any differently, but there I was looked at as kind of like the black sheep, where it was like, oh, we don't hang out with Lauren because she's not a part of the church. So actually, when people say was it hard to make friends there, it was like no, because the non Mormons kind of gravitated toward each other.

00:02:28
Speaker 2: Yeah, the.

00:02:30
Speaker 1: Few that there were, we were like, we're all We've got right. And so it is interesting to me because when I first learned about this, this Mormon show that was going to be on Hulu, I was like, I don't know that I can watch. It's a little too close to home, and I think that there are things that they're going to show that may be a bit triggering because my dad grew up in the Mormon Church. So my family members were like a little quirky, right to put it, kind of Yes, So how long had you been in the mix without being on the.

00:03:03
Speaker 2: Show like mom Talk and everything?

00:03:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, Mom Talk? Were you there from the beginning?

00:03:10
Speaker 2: Yeah? So it was me and Taylor who was during the pandemic, we had been friends. Haya and I became friends and let's say, let's say it was probably twenty eighteen, Okay, think it was probably about twenty eighteen, and then during the pandemic, we you know, that's kind of when TikTok started taking off and we just started making videos together. And then a few months after that that's when we met Camill and then started making tiktoks with Camill. She's the other like blonde friend that she's actually not on the show, but okay. She the three of us started making tiktoks together. We would joke that like we were because people think we're twins, me and camel We would joke that like Taylor was our mom. That gained a lot of traction, and then it just kind of like took off from there, and then obviously with the whole Swinging Scandal, that's when everything like fell apart, then had a bit of a hiatus, and then came back.

00:04:04
Speaker 1: So when you guys, were you part of the Swinging Scandal? Were you in the mix?

00:04:08
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I it wasn't entirely forthcoming about my involvement in the beginning for sure, but I think at the place that I was coming from back then though, was definitely because the way that Taylor was portraying it was that was very much in a light that wasn't what I felt like was reality at all, that there were other couples that were involved in way more and with me and then my husband at the time, it was like the length and I say this in the show, but the length the furthest we ever went was when we played spin the bottle and like kissed people, but there was no like real like swinging or switching. And so to me, I'm just like even now, like I think it's funny because sometimes people will be like, that's kind of like a like laughable version of swinging, but also like for Mormons, like it's crazy, you know what, it's a huge deal, yeah, big deal. And also like the thing is I'm like, yes, I wasn't swinging per se, but it was still weird, still like a weird thing to be involved in. And then also your super Mormon parents and like finding that out, and my parents didn't even know really at the time. I think they had a hunch, but they didn't really even know the time that I was in the midst of a faith crisis as well. So then I just had such a it was it was it was hard. It was really heavy dealing with Okay, well, now I'm having to confront the fact that I don't know that I believe in the church anymore, and I don't know if I want to be a part of this. On top of by the way, I'm supposedly a swinger, and right they were just falling apart. So it was just a lot all at once.

00:05:38
Speaker 1: Was did you find that you were kind of shunned from the Mormon community when because you taught I'm I'm from there, and I know that people talk and things are very like when something happens within the church and in your ward, it's like they can't get enough of the gossip. But they almost some people thrive of, you know, pushing you out, which kind of goes against the entire point of the religion, which is like love and acceptance and like forgiving people. Did you find that people started treating you differently?

00:06:15
Speaker 2: I mean, to be honest, I kind of feel like I already was like ostracized to a degree a little bit, just because like at that point I wasn't super active. I think like sometimes like little things that I would post here and there would maybe be like a little controversial or like problematic to some people. So I think there was already a little bit of talk. But yeah, when the whole swinging thing like came out, for sure, like my hometown, I know was having an absolute hey day, And I think for me it was more so like I didn't care as much about that. It was more so like just my family, like I have a very close relationship with my family. Like I feel like at the time too, I had a really deep fear of disappointing my family and my parents and and you know, we've worked through a lot, and I give them great for you know, the work that they've done to be accepting of me and like where I am now. But I yeah, I think that was probably the hardest part for me, as far as like, you know, people that I went to high school with, or people in my own neighborhood that I'm kind of like, what difference doesn't make to I'm not going to see you either way, so right, whatever, But yeah, for sure, you definitely you hear whisperings and like later on. It is interesting because I feel like once I actually joined the show, and it was like at first it's like talk of the town, you're a harlot basically, and then it goes from that to then when there's a level of like fame that comes with it, then there's like a little bit of a switch up sometimes where it's like, hey, sorry for everything that like I said about you or whatever, which I'm like, I appreciate, but it's also like interesting timing, you know what. I mean, and so I think there was a little bit of that, But all in all, I feel like I don't feel like I let like the outside noise affect me too much. I think it was really just mostly my really close relationships that I was trying to protect and worry about, worried.

00:08:03
Speaker 1: About are you still active in the church?

00:08:06
Speaker 2: No?

00:08:06
Speaker 1: Okay? And has that affected your relationship with your family?

00:08:10
Speaker 2: Yes? And no, Like I would say no now, at first, it was difficult, like there were definitely a lot of hard conversations, and you know, there are certain things that I know that like my parents and I might never really see eye to eye on. But at the end of the day, I feel like they've they've realized work that they need to do in order to be really like accepting and loving of me, because I know that their love is unconditional, and they've really made an effort to make me feel like it is. And so I really commend them for that, and I feel like because of that, we've been able to maintain a really good relationship.

00:08:43
Speaker 1: That's amazing because there are so many parts of the Mormon religion and many religions, you know, I think coming from Utah religion, now scares me in any capacity, no matter what it is. Organize religion I just don't want any part of. But there are so many things that come with the Mormon religion that are so beautiful, right, So, I'm sure having a daughter who kind of decided to take a different path taught your family a different level of acceptance totally.

00:09:12
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that that. You know, when when you grow up one way and then you are you stay around the same area and you're surrounded by people that are like minded, it kind of you automatically are going to have you know, you're not going to really think outside the box, and it's hard for you to really like develop opinions of your own. And I think that's something I, you know, through my faith crisis, really realized that I was important to me. And you know, that's something that I'll give my ex credit for too, is that he actually left the church prior to me like really diving into things. But he, I think has always been a really free thinker, and I feel like while I was going through my faith crisis, I think it really really taught me to trust myself. And I think that's also been you know, eye opening for my family as well. Because at the end of the day, I'm like I told my parents, I'm like, you didn't raise a daughter that is Mormon. You raised a daughter that has good morals. And obviously, yeah, have I made mistakes along the way in my life, of course, but also like, at the end of the day, like I know that I have a strong sense of self. I know that I have good morals and good ethics, and like, to me, that should be more important than my activity level within the religion that you're part of. And I think they see that now, and you know, they see that even though I might live differently and think differently than they do, that I still am a good person and I'm still who they raised me to be. And I feel like, you know, that's validating for them. And overall, just having that mutual respect has been really great, and I've been really grateful to see them kind of flourish and think outside of the box. And whether it be like religion or politics or or just like really anything, I feel like they're a lot more open to a lot of things. Really, Ever since the beginning of my faith crisis, which I really appreciate.

00:11:19
Speaker 1: Do you ever have guilt? Because I know that my dad. He left the church when he was gosh, I want to say twenty two, so well before I was even born, And there were moments of him being in his fifties where he would have some sort of internal battle because you know, he was raised in that environment for so long that there were times that he would feel guilt over some like the strangest things.

00:11:45
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I'm just now getting to a point where I've dropped almost all of that. And who's to say, right, Like I could be much like your dad were down the line, maybe I have something resurface. I think obviously growing healing, it's obviously like an ever evolving experience. But I think that I before and for a while at first after I chose to step away from it, I it was really hard, especially because my dad came from a background where he was really the only religious one, and he had siblings that made decisions that landed them in really tough situations, and he just he had had a rough upbringing in a lot of ways. And so I think for him, he his personality type like clung to it, and I think for him it like saved him in a lot of ways. And so I think I held guilt because I felt like I was responsible for his feelings. I didn't want to like set him off by you know, me choosing to think differently and believed diferently. And something my dad always took pride in was the fact that, you know, all of his daughters because I'm the youngest of four girls. Oh wow, Sun, Yeah, no, it's so great, but that we all, you know, were such great and like valiant women and members of the church, and you know, we married a term missionaries and got sealed in the temple, like you know, all the boxes were being checked, and so I felt like I was stripping him of that like badge of honor that I felt like he had that like my parents had. And so I feel like I carried a lot of guilt for that. And you know, I think throughout my journey, I've realized that obviously I'm my own person and that I'm not responsible for everybody's feelings all the time. And that's like something that I've I've taken upon myself a lot, like throughout my life and my relationships and friendships, and I feel like I'm now at a point where I don't feel like I do that and I realized that it's okay to be a little bit selfish and necessary into said boundaries, and and that's something that like they've also you know, it was difficult at first, and yeah, I felt a lot of guilt and shame. But I think that like, because my parents like do respect me now. I think I probably would still feel that way if they treated me poorly because of my accasion, But because they'd still respect me and have love for me, I think it makes it a lot easier for me to drop that guilt for sure.

00:14:14
Speaker 1: Of course, So when when did you decide or I guess when did they approach you to say, hey, we think you'd be great for the show on Hulu Secret Lives?

00:14:26
Speaker 2: Oh it was in twenty twenty two.

00:14:32
Speaker 1: Okay, because I remember, you know, my brother Easton, Yes, and he's friends with Jake, your ex. Yes, And I and correct me if I'm wrong. I remember you being approached or I had heard you had been approached, like at the very beginning of the show, and you were not really into the idea. It was like, I'm kind of good on that. Yeah, So was that just because you didn't know? So the direction was life chaotic at that point? In time.

00:15:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I was still married and I at that point in our marriage, we were kind of like I was like already one foot out, but like trying to like make it work, not really sure what I wanted. And so you know, you hear like what reality TV is about and how toxic it can be, and really like and it's true if you have skeletons in your closet, like be prepared for those to come out, Like that's for sure accurate, and it wasn't it's for me. I'm like, am I wanting or willing to put everything we're going through like under a microscope when I already had Just like the way I was thinking was like I was already kind of exploited online, like without my consent, Like why would I willingly put myself in a position to do that again, like you know, my own doing it didn't really make sense, and I just like I kept trying to justify it, and it just like did not feel good to me, Like my like gut was telling me no. And so ultimately I decided that it wasn't for me. And also too, like Taylor and I were not in good standing at that point either, and so I'm like, do I want to go be around this person too? That like doesn't make me feel good, that like disturbs my peace and doesn't make me feel great about myself. And there's a lot of trauma still there that I'm trying to work through. It just like did not seem like it would be a good idea, and so I decided against it. They like filmed the pilot obviously with some like with Taylor's arrest and everything, they like paused everything for a while, and then then they ended up filming and then yeah, it was released, and it was like two days after season one aired. I got a call from one of the producers and he was like, hey, have you reconsidered? And at this point I had already I was divorced or okay, split separated. He had moved out, but like my mind was made up on that, and so at this point I'm like, I'm a single mom. You know, obviously I do social media already, and I'm like, maybe I do reconsider this in a different light. And at that point I just felt completely different about it, and in fact, like everyone around me was like I just don't think it's like the best idea, and I like I just felt so differently about it. I was like, I actually like, I don't have that pit in my stomach now. I don't feel like I feel like I need to do this, and so I you know, ultimately I signed my contract the day before I my first day of filming because I was so back and forth.

00:17:42
Speaker 1: And do you have any regrets doing it?

00:17:45
Speaker 2: No?

00:17:46
Speaker 1: So you had, you had a blast, it was.

00:17:48
Speaker 2: Honestly, I would say that I think it's been you know, knock on wood. I think it's been a lot more positive than I think I was imagining. I think that I think there is a lot you have a lot more in your in control than I thought I would have. Okay, And and maybe that's just like the way that our production works. Maybe that's you know, I'm sure it's different across all shows. Maybe like you feel differently with vander Punt. But I think there's you know, obviously you have like editing and everything that goes into it. But all in all, I feel like, I, you know, I feel like so far I've been able to like show up as my authentic self and like whatever you you have to give them enough to like spin something out of you know what I mean, Like I think Whitney, for example, like with season one being the villain, it wasn't like Whitney was just rainbows and butterflies and sunshine the whole time, and they like made her out to look like a villain, right, Like you have to have some villainesque qualities, and I not to say that I haven't. You know, I'm like definitely not perfect.

00:18:49
Speaker 1: And everyone has their day. You You're you're the angel one year and the next year you're exactly.

00:18:55
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, like one season you can be great the next season like, yeah, you're the villa, And so I think that. Like for me though, I'm like I'll be the villain as long as I feel like I'm showing up authentically. I'm like, if I feel like I'm being true to who I am and like people don't love that, I like I I'll take it on the chin, like I love that.

00:19:15
Speaker 1: That's like the ultimate reality TV star though, because you're you have to go to bed with yourself at night. So like, no matter what the comment section says, I know that the moment I walk in the door, I have to know that I stand behind everything that I said. And I didn't do it because I wanted the comment section to look a certain way, or I wanted people to like me. I did that because that was my truth, and.

00:19:38
Speaker 2: I would do it again exactly.

00:19:40
Speaker 1: And you know what, if it doesn't land and I have regrets about it, then how hard is it to say, I'm sorry. I wish I could redo that exactly. Not a big deal. Did you enjoy doing the reunion with Nick Vile?

00:20:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought it was good. I think that there, you know, I feel like it was kind of the wholesome addition. You know, not that all of it was wholesome, but it was kind of the wholesome edition that I feel like we needed, you know. I think that like it added more depth and like more it allowed people to see other sides of a lot of our casts, and it you know, opened the door to having empathy and like people realizing that we are real people with real feelings that go through real things. Yeah, and so I feel like that was that was good. I think I did my I did a podcast with Nick last season, and I feel like he was great with that and everything, and so overall, like I feel like it went well.

00:20:53
Speaker 1: And that was your guys' first reunion, like they hadn't done one for the first season. No, no, nothing better than a reunion.

00:21:01
Speaker 2: Man, Oh my gosh, it just.

00:21:03
Speaker 1: Ties it all up in a boat. I was so happy to hear that you guys were doing that. I have to ask, and people sometimes think I'm nuts when I say this. I find reality TV to be at times very therapeutic and it allows me to in normal life, when a camera's not on, I very much pick my battles right, And I think people would be shocked by this, but I can become a doormat very quickly because I just don't want to deal when there's a camera up and it's like, okay, I now get to say everything that I always want to say, and it allows me to say, Okay, i can set a boundary in this moment, I'm not going to pick my battle. I'm going to defend myself. Do you think that once, once you started filming, that you were allowed to make amends with people, hash things out to get to a better place. I don't know what the upcoming season is, so I don't want to ask, like are you and Taylor good? But like, so in a more kosher way, did you find that you did that?

00:22:13
Speaker 2: Yes, I could not possibly agree more with you. I think you know, more than any other materialistic benefit that has come from the show. I think that, like gut feeling that I had for when it came to deciding on season two was more about coming into myself and becoming my most authentic self than anything else. And I think that you're one hundred percent right where I and you can't even kind of see it in season one, like obviously I'm like coming in walking on eggshells, you know. I'm like, I know that I'm walking into the into the lions Den. I know that I'm like in a situation where you know, there's daggers on me. I know that I'm not being welcomed with open arms entirely. And so I think that obviously kind of made me a little weary of being super vocal and one hundred percent speaking my mind all the time, taking a back seat in certain situations. And I feel like as time has gone on, I think that and as I've built real relationships with the women and you know, gotten used to everything and become more comfortable, I've like dropped so much of that. Like I also realized how much I put myself in a box and by labeling myself as like, oh, like I'm kind of a people pleaser, like and now I'm like I might have people pleasing tendencies sometimes like I'm not a people pleaser. I also realized that, like after my marriage, I think that, like there were a lot of things that I was just like, you know what, it's not worth it, kind of like you said, pick your battles. And then you know, I think with like when I was dating Jake, I realized, you know, after being in my marriage and then dating somebody like Jake, I was like, I'm actually like way more confrontational than I thought I was, and I was putting myself in a box based on who I was like surrounded with, you know. And so I feel like it's been the same thing with filming, where I'm in situations where you're kind of like I don't want to say like rewarded for speaking up, but like it's it's like a welcome, you know, whether the response is great or not, you know that it's like, Okay, we're here to speak our minds. And I'm like, okay, well, I guess like yeah, everyone else is speaking their minds, Like maybe I should start speaking my mind, and as I do that, and as I have done that, and like you'll see a little bit of that in season three. But as I start doing that, I'm like, oh, this is actually I feel so good about this, and like that's like I feel like a huge weight lifted, actually, and I feel like it's just helped me be so much more authentic to myself and show up as who I am. And it's not like I'm acting out of character because it's my real thoughts and feelings. I'm just finally voicing it.

00:24:53
Speaker 1: Finally voicing it, I have to ask, so I at times see well, by the time I see it, it's a real But I'm sure it's a TikTok. I'm like ninety years old. You seem to have like a very healthy co parenting situation with your ex. Is it up and down? Or did you just get lucky? Because I'm very envious. You would not catch me dead making a TikTok with my ex.

00:25:15
Speaker 2: Well, and I understand that it's like very unconventional, and that's when people are like, well, why don't you guys just get back together. I'm like, you couldn't pay me, no chance, no chance will we ever get back together, but I think it's a little bit of both, where yes, there are times where it's ups and down, more stable than it's ever been for sure, I mean amazing. And I think Jake can kind of attest to this because we started dating, you know, pretty quickly after our split, but where it was like a lot more up and down for sure, And at first I was like, oh my gosh, like I honestly thought that we would coprint really well, this is so hard, and it was, you know, we were just really trying to find our footing and so it wasn't like great from the beginning. But I think as like we both continued to heal and work on ourselves and you know, date other people and whatever. I think that like, and we got a good situation going with the kids got a lot easier. But she said, I always had a good basis of friendship to where like, even because our relationship was very like on and off and up and down when we were dating, but like even when we weren't like dating, I feel like we got along like fairly well. And you know, I'm not really one to hold grudges. I mean that's you know, part of why I feel like Taylor and I can be friends again, I don't. I don't like holding onto that, and so I feel like we just have given each other a grace and really, at the end of the day, we prioritize the kids first, and yeah, and I think, yeah, I think I still see us as a family unit. It just looks different obviously than it used to.

00:26:45
Speaker 1: That is amazing. Do you want more kids or are you done?

00:26:50
Speaker 2: I'm open to both. If I were to like not get remarried or marry someone that already had kids or I would be okay with not having more okay, But if I were to marry somebody who did want children, I would be open to having like two max like the even like what maybe.

00:27:08
Speaker 1: It's like the Mormon starter pack four kids?

00:27:11
Speaker 2: No literally, I know, And like I always said, I was like, okay, three, Like if I were still married, we probably would have had like a third and then been done. But I'm like, I don't know, because if I married someone who didn't have children and they wanted two of their own, I'd be like, okay, But I get really sick during my pregnancy, So I'm just like, I don't know, So we'll see, But I'm open to both.

00:27:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, how old are you?

00:27:31
Speaker 2: I'm twenty eight.

00:27:32
Speaker 1: Oh girl, you got plenty of tacks.

00:27:36
Speaker 2: Like I'm not really worried about it right now.

00:27:38
Speaker 1: Well, and you got married so young and had kids so young. So do you feel like this is your time in life where you're like, I'm on fucking television. I'm gonna go out and date and do whatever it is that you maybe didn't get to do when you were young that most people do get to do.

00:27:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, for sure. I think this is definitely like my me era, and you know, it looks maybe a little bit different than most people's me era because I have two children that are like my priority. But I you know, I think that even you know, even after Jake and I broke up, I just was like, I just want to, like, I know, I need to focus on myself and my kids in my career right now, Like I don't. I don't have I know, I can't give a relationship right now what I feel like a relationship needs. And even now, like I've like barely dated even since then, Like it's I don't really go out, I don't do dating apps, I don't like, I don't do much besides work, honestly right now. But I feel like, you know, I'm open and open to whatever happens, but I feel like it would kind of almost have to fall in my lap just because I am at peace with where I'm at right now. I'm not really looking for anything and I'm just yeah, just focusing on my kids and me and my career and we'll see where it takes me. But I'm content with that for now.

00:28:55
Speaker 1: What a wonderful place to be right where you're just at peace. And I saw this thing that Lady Gaga said the other day. She was like, if you're trying to decide between your career and a man, just remember your career. Your career will never wake you up in the middle of the night and tell you they don't love you anymore.

00:29:11
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. And that's the thing is I'm like, what a man is competing with is that like it's an it's not another man. It is my piece. And that is an incredibly difficult thing to compete with because I can't imagine living with a man.

00:29:27
Speaker 1: Oh. I know, once you get a taste of like freedom and like control of the the energy and your environment, it is it's men really do not have it easy anymore.

00:29:38
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I mean that that male loneliness epidemic has really done its thing, and thank.

00:29:44
Speaker 1: God, I love it. I'm so grateful that you made time for me today, and you guys, I want to thank you for listening to another episode of Untraditionally La La. I'm going to catch you guys on Monday for a bonus and again next week. Bye.