The Bachelorette's Mike Johnson

00:00:06
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, Welcome back to the Give Them La La Podcast. I am coming off of like the best week ever I took you. I know, rightoo. I took my kid to Disneyland last week with Jack's and Britts and Cruise and then Shina, Summer Moon and Brock. We did one ride for adults. We did like the you said you did the Incredit Coaster. Yes, in Credit Coaster, we did that. It was amazing. I just needed something. I was like, Okay, today's a kid's day. And by the way, Disneyland when you're there for your kid is like, it's just magical. Right. Ocean was having the best time. So that was the only like adult ride we did very early on in the day and then the rest of the time we just did like little kid rides. But we were literally there from like ten am to I want to say, like ten pm.

00:01:08
Speaker 2: And did the kids take naps during the day or are they just going going going.

00:01:13
Speaker 1: Ocean got in one nap and then she was like ready to roll. And then Summer Moon and her parents left a little bit earlier than we did. But you know, Cruisy is also a little champ. You know, the kids are all champs, but they rallied, so that was amazing. I took full advantage this weekend of sleeping in. So what I started doing Jess is on the weekends, I sleep with my phone downstairs, because if I wake up in the morning and I check my phone and I see what time it is, it could be six in the morning, and already my body is going into time. Let's start getting up, getting into wake up mode, you know, like my anxiety starts kicking in and I know, like, okay, it's it's morning time.

00:02:08
Speaker 2: Okay, that's interesting, So you don't So putting your phone downstairs allows you to sleep longer.

00:02:15
Speaker 1: I don't wake up to see what time it is, so I just wake up when my body feels ready, okay.

00:02:23
Speaker 2: And then do you get up or do you continue to try and sleep if like Ocean isn't up or.

00:02:28
Speaker 1: So Ocean has been doing this thing lately where she'll wake up. And again, I've been her mom for almost two years, so like, I know her little fusses and her little cries, and I can tell in the morning around like eight eight thirty, she's got this like fuss where I know she's not ready to get up. So She'll be awake doing her little fussing and then completely go silent until like ten.

00:02:56
Speaker 2: She is a champ with sleeping. She's like her mom and her geechie that, which is amazing because I mean, babies are growing, so they need sleep.

00:03:05
Speaker 1: Yeah. I also think it might be because I run her into the ground.

00:03:08
Speaker 2: You guys are constantly doing fun stuff at the park. Yeah, so that's probably like.

00:03:13
Speaker 1: We're constantly doing something where it's like we're going with your friends today, We're going to the park today, We're going to see Christmas lights today. Like it's non stop.

00:03:21
Speaker 2: And it's not like she goes to bed late because I've baby set her before. She goes to bed at like eight, yeah, eight thirty.

00:03:28
Speaker 1: So we all exercised our right to sleep in this weekend.

00:03:31
Speaker 3: I love that.

00:03:33
Speaker 1: Like literally Sunday morning, I woke up at noon stop and I thought it was like bright and early. So I'm like I walk downstairs, I look at the clock and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's eleven nine No, And I had to like talk myself off the ledge. What do you mean I felt guilty that I slept in stop?

00:03:56
Speaker 2: Your body needed rest, obviously, did you in was awake with Gigi.

00:04:01
Speaker 1: I'm assuming Ocean was awake kicking it with jij and she was ready to go down for her nap for the day.

00:04:06
Speaker 2: They let you sleep in. See that's so important. Your body obviously needed it. Yeah, and it's good you got that rat.

00:04:12
Speaker 1: Totally because I'm telling you, Disneyland kicked my ass. My body hasn't been that tired since I pushed Ocean out of my cookie. I was like, what happened? I am so tired? Yeah, yeah, And then so cut back to Friday, had a heyday. On Friday, the Utah Utes football team played USC in not a championship game, but it was a big game. It was going to determine if USC could go into winning a national championship or the utah Utes go on to the Rose Bowl the first Not that any of you care about this, but I grew up watching Utah football from the time I was like a tiny little tot. And I dressed Ocean in her little red sweater like she was very utah Utes, and the first quarter was horrendous. I was talking to my brothers on text and my sister in law, also huge Utah fans, being like, this is real fucking bad. Guess what during halftime, I don't know what happened, but the utah Utes fucking pulled it together and whooped that trojan ass.

00:05:25
Speaker 2: I was like, you better work, boys, That's amazing the utah Ute.

00:05:31
Speaker 1: So the mascot is Swoop. It represents the red tailed hawk, a bird indigenous to the state of Utah. Oh okay, yes, so that is the mascot. Our mascot is very sexy because sometimes he wears football uniform. So he looked good. He looked real good.

00:05:53
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, I was gonna say, with everyone at Brittany and Jack's Jackson's house rooting for.

00:05:58
Speaker 1: No, they didn't give two fun Okay. At my mom's birthday dinner, I volunteered Jacks and his home to host me to watch the game. And but towards the end everyone was getting into it. It was just Jackson, britt Me, my Mom, Ocean Cruisy, Janet and Jason and so towards the end, you know, the boys started getting into it because it was It was a really great game, and I loved watching it because I felt like I was back in Utah, like that's what I grew up on, Like football was shoved down my throat as a child, like Sundays were NFL Monday Night football, Thursday night football, Friday was high school football, Saturday was it was just a lot like it was NonStop, and my whole family was that way. So it felt amazing, especially to watch Ocean like, not that she cared about the game. Maybe it was just the running like something she was into that was happening. She was watching it, dancing, totally into it. So the University of Utah football team is going to the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. I'm getting tickets for the whole family.

00:07:03
Speaker 2: When is it.

00:07:05
Speaker 1: It's on January second.

00:07:06
Speaker 2: Oh, that's a great day.

00:07:08
Speaker 1: Great day. That's a great day.

00:07:10
Speaker 2: That's a Sunday.

00:07:11
Speaker 1: Is Monday? I think it's a Monday. Okay, well that's.

00:07:13
Speaker 2: A great day. Everyone's still on like it's twenty twenty three. But you're not like we got to get back to it.

00:07:19
Speaker 1: No, you're not quite there yet where it's like the grind starts again. So now I've got to go and get all of my family matching Utah gear. I'm just very excited. I'm very excited about it that my week was great and today's podcast is going to be lit af because I have a fawn. Look a man named Mike Johnson. Mike Johnson, he was on the Bachelorette. He is a US Air Force veteran, and he's also a sex coach, a sex coach, and an author.

00:07:51
Speaker 2: Yes, yay, let me say something. I had a lot of fun during this interview just watching you two. And you'll hear in the interview Lalla talk about where she's at in the state of like relationships and whatnot. But it was a lot of fun to watch Lalla and Mike chat because I think they have chemistry.

00:08:11
Speaker 1: And that's just fun to watch.

00:08:12
Speaker 2: That's just fun to watch. So I think you'll hear it. He'll be able to hear it.

00:08:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, we talk about a lot of stuff. He is very smart. And you know what, me talking about my relationship, I don't even know where I'm at right, Like I talk about it and I make zero sense. So you guys just roll with me, because I know you guys are going through similar things, Like I'm not the only one being like I don't know what the fuck is happening.

00:08:38
Speaker 2: No, people change their I mean I'm there and I feel like, not about my relationship, but just with things in general.

00:08:45
Speaker 1: In life.

00:08:45
Speaker 2: One day I'm like I feel this way, and the next day I'm like, I don't feel that way at all. It's yeah, we're all up and down and you have the right to feel that way.

00:08:53
Speaker 1: Just roll with it, you know, none of us. Anytime I hear someone say like I just thought i'd have my life figured out out by now, my love, we never have our lives figured out. And just like just when we think we do, life throws us the curveball to make sure like we're still awake. Just want to make sure you're still Brandon anyway. When we come back, We've got Mike Johnson and I'm excited. He's so hot. Hello, my loves, we are backed with Mike Johnson. You are very good looking.

00:09:26
Speaker 3: Good for you, you're good looking yourself. I am, yeah, definitely, you know that. Thank you.

00:09:32
Speaker 1: No, well, it depends on the day. The moments that we look like shit, those are called humbling moments.

00:09:37
Speaker 3: This is true. My mom loves to give me those humbling moments.

00:09:40
Speaker 1: Yes, those moments are good. So the first thing I have to ask, how the how did you end up on reality TV?

00:09:47
Speaker 3: Like?

00:09:47
Speaker 1: What made you say like the Bachelorette? That sounds right, Yeah, that's what you were on Bachelorette.

00:09:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well one. I never even had heard of the Bachelorette, never watched the episode, and they know who no one was on the show. But I was, true story. I I was financial advisor, doing pretty good for myself at the military, and I threw my phone one day at work and my homeboy and my coworker was like, what the hell wrong with you? And I'm like, real story, I was like why, I'm like, these girls just want to have sex. And I was like, bro, I'm trying to get that I want. I want like the real thing. And I was telling my homeboy like I'm like, I think I was like twenty eight at the time, twenty nine. I was like, I wanted wife and kids, bruh. And he was laughing, Okay, he was dying laughing. He was like, what do that can actually get? Women says that? And I'm like me, I'm you know, I want the real thing or whatever, And so literally about forty five minutes of him just talking about me laughing. A few weeks later, he sent me a Facebook message. Whoever goes on Facebook anyway, but he sent me a Facebook thing for a calling casting and I was off work that day, so I was like, why not?

00:10:47
Speaker 1: Really? Yeah, and you had never seen it before, never.

00:10:50
Speaker 3: Watched a single episode, never watched one second prior to that moment.

00:10:54
Speaker 1: How was that experience? Because I've been doing reality TV for a long time, the show you were on is a little bit different because number one, you're competing for the love of a woman, right.

00:11:06
Speaker 3: Yes.

00:11:07
Speaker 1: The other thing is is I feel like you guys are being filmed all the time, Like you're in one place and it's like cameras are up, you're constantly miked.

00:11:16
Speaker 2: That would freak me the fuck out, and really quick before you go into that experience, I did want to say because I had a girlfriend who made it pretty fast. She didn't get on the show, but I heard because this will tie into something you did.

00:11:27
Speaker 1: She made it far in the audition process, yes, but didn't get to that.

00:11:31
Speaker 2: They really get into your background.

00:11:34
Speaker 1: Is that true?

00:11:34
Speaker 2: Like they look into like your job and they like it's almost like a mini PI thing.

00:11:40
Speaker 1: I love this question.

00:11:42
Speaker 3: I don't really know how far they get into it for every single individual, because some people they find out the streets like damn you fine? Are you good looking? At wherever? The fris Be come on. And then for me, I did have to put my X on there. But I don't think they ever reached out to her because you know, she would have told my ass. You like they called me all of it. You know, she would be all that and my job. No one ever called my jobs either. I did have a five hundred and eighty three questions psychology test, so like, that part definitely is there, and you do. I mean, it is a full extensive background, but I don't know how in depth they go for every individual. Now, if you're crazy and you got some shit on your record, then.

00:12:14
Speaker 1: They might check you out more and then they'll find it.

00:12:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's what it's probably. I think I'm assuming that's what it's like because they can't probably go through every single individual, but if you got some let's say, stains, they might dig deeper.

00:12:25
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that, So my job's done there. I pass that. Good for you. I'm so wounded here I am.

00:12:34
Speaker 3: Let me you're fine.

00:12:35
Speaker 1: I'm gonna unload my baggage on deal. I Since my last relationship, I put a PI on everyone new that comes into my life who I'm like into in that.

00:12:46
Speaker 3: Way, what's the return on investment for that?

00:12:53
Speaker 1: But my job is done with you the Bachelor. I did it, That's what I'm saying.

00:12:57
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, no, I'm great.

00:12:58
Speaker 1: So I get to keep two thousand dollars.

00:13:00
Speaker 3: There you go.

00:13:01
Speaker 1: Two It's a lot.

00:13:02
Speaker 3: I just google your ass.

00:13:06
Speaker 1: There's all kind of weaki clean. I'm weakly clean.

00:13:09
Speaker 3: I mean I could see online you got a nice little ass on you.

00:13:12
Speaker 1: Tell me more. I took that picture.

00:13:14
Speaker 3: Thank you.

00:13:15
Speaker 1: I know everyone took this and somebody be like, she probably set it up on a tripod. I was like, I set it up on Jessica. I was like, can you take a picture of my ass? This could feel very wrong one day. She doesn't like me anymore. She made me take pictures of her naked.

00:13:32
Speaker 3: Fact, you gotta be careful about this stuff these days.

00:13:34
Speaker 1: I worry about it all the time. I'm like, Jessica, no, which is so funny.

00:13:37
Speaker 2: That's not even true, because she was questioning it, like should I do this photo?

00:13:41
Speaker 1: It's dumb.

00:13:41
Speaker 2: I was like, get your ass in the shower. We're taking a nude photo.

00:13:46
Speaker 3: That's something that dudes just can't do. Like my homeboys, like, hey, bro, you look you've been working out, like, I see you dig man like dudes can't do that. You just don't work the same.

00:13:56
Speaker 1: No, it does not.

00:13:58
Speaker 3: I'm like, what.

00:14:00
Speaker 2: To me?

00:14:00
Speaker 1: Right, So you really wanted to find love? Your fine ass was like, I want to be married with kids, which in my experience doesn't happen often.

00:14:10
Speaker 3: In my experience, a lot of women don't have respect for men because of the things that men have done. And I completely understand that I have respect your thoughts on that. I personally absolutely love the respect from others, and.

00:14:20
Speaker 1: So I feel that I love this for you.

00:14:22
Speaker 3: Thank you.

00:14:23
Speaker 1: Did you like the girl who was the bachelorette?

00:14:25
Speaker 3: She's cool?

00:14:26
Speaker 1: She was cool.

00:14:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's definitely cool people.

00:14:28
Speaker 1: Hannah Brown, how far did you get with her? Well, I don't mean sexually, just like in the competition, I.

00:14:34
Speaker 3: Wasn't meaning sexually. Guy, this is years ago. I think I got sent home in sixth place.

00:14:43
Speaker 1: That's pretty good because how many dudes are there, like twenty initially it's like.

00:14:47
Speaker 3: Thirty, But I mean I don't consider that good.

00:14:49
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, you're kind of like me where I'm like, unless I won the sacond.

00:14:55
Speaker 3: Well, see, this is the thing about the Bachelor, though, it's like, it's not a competition to me in terms of like winning are losing, it's a competition, and cannot see myself with this person. If not, then I gotta leave.

00:15:05
Speaker 1: Did you leave on your own?

00:15:06
Speaker 3: No? She let me go.

00:15:07
Speaker 1: Oh, she let you go.

00:15:08
Speaker 3: She definitely let me go.

00:15:09
Speaker 1: Do you think she let you go because she could feel that like it just wasn't hitting right for both of you?

00:15:14
Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely, yeah. I mean, this is the beautiful thing about being the lead in the show like that is that you this is the one time you truly can be selfish and can't nobody say shit. Yeah, like, hey, I think you're a great individual. But you might not be for me, but you might be for La La, or you might be for Jessica, you might be for someone else.

00:15:29
Speaker 1: Right. That would be so hard for me because if you put does the chick have any say in who the men are.

00:15:36
Speaker 3: Going to be?

00:15:36
Speaker 1: Like? Does she get to say these are the types I.

00:15:38
Speaker 3: Wish, I wish I would like if I was to be the lead, I would like, Yo, if you want a good drama show, bring these thirty women on and I'm like all of them right, Yeah, So then it would be really really.

00:15:49
Speaker 2: Interesting question on all like that that about you being the lead. I when I was googling you heard a rumor and read something where it said you were in the running to be the lead, I think after Hannah's season. But then they chose Peter Weber instead, which is funny because it's the only season I watch, and I think he's so fucking boring. No disrespect to Peter, but he's your homide name, Peter Webber. I loved the season, but I loved it going to be a Bachelor?

00:16:20
Speaker 1: Were you uh for?

00:16:22
Speaker 3: I answered, I want to give a caveat because you know how read it are and how people are on the internet. Mike still talking about this years later. One I was asked this question, Okay, but I was in the running. Yeah, and they chose Peter. Peter's a great guy.

00:16:34
Speaker 1: You're so diplomatic. He's a great guy. I'm like, fuck this mocking.

00:16:39
Speaker 2: I loved the season, but I did. I did love it because of the women. The women on that season were bomb. They were hilarious, they were fun, they were just entertaining.

00:16:48
Speaker 1: He does look a little snoozel, doesn't snooze.

00:16:52
Speaker 3: I mean, I will say if I were the lead, I think I'll bring definitely a different type of attribute to rule, Like what I mean, I think you're just looking at me like different.

00:17:03
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, the other leads you definitely hit different. You write sex books. You are a sex cold. The ladies are gonna be like, I need to get in the room.

00:17:14
Speaker 3: You know.

00:17:15
Speaker 1: Wait, are you writing in this book? You just gave me your book? Yeah, making the love you want? Yes, I can't wait to read this. Are you talking about what you like in this book?

00:17:25
Speaker 3: No?

00:17:25
Speaker 1: Because that could make things interesting if you're the bachelor, because all the tricks would be like, I know exactly what he wants. He wants a little salt and pepper shaker or whatever that called. What's it called? What is it?

00:17:39
Speaker 3: I don't grapefruit trick?

00:17:43
Speaker 1: Oh, back when I was like twenty three, love the grape fruit trick, A little vibrator on the balls.

00:17:50
Speaker 2: See you guys know, because.

00:17:53
Speaker 1: Oh pop, that was like twenty one.

00:17:55
Speaker 3: Hey, there you go.

00:17:56
Speaker 1: So what you're doing now being boring?

00:17:58
Speaker 3: Trust me? Why are you being boring?

00:18:00
Speaker 1: I don't know.

00:18:00
Speaker 3: You still got like a good seventy years of life left.

00:18:04
Speaker 1: Do you think stress fucks up your libido? And shit? I don't think I know Okay, well then that's the reason.

00:18:10
Speaker 3: There you go. We can work on that.

00:18:12
Speaker 1: I would love to because you are a sex coach, right, is that true? Yes, let's put you get into that. Yeah, let's break this down all right. You went from what you said, a financial advisor. Yes, so you're good with money. I love that you were in the air Force. Yes, thank you for what you've done for our country.

00:18:28
Speaker 3: Thank you for your appreciation.

00:18:30
Speaker 1: And then you were on the Bachelorette. Yes, you've done a lot. Your resume reads and we're all over the place, which I'm digging. So how did you get into being a sex coach.

00:18:40
Speaker 3: Multiply an individual as a certified sex coach. The reason I got into it was because I myself was molested as a child. Okay, one in four women are sexually assaulted and indoorb's one and six men are. And so I got three women. I care a lot about my mom's sister and grandma. So you add yourself. Let's say you're my fourth lady. One out for you. I have been sexual assaulting and so therefore growing up with women that kind of affected me. And then also when I was in the military, I was a victim's advocate the only male on the entire base, and then I will. My ex and I had a miscarriage and we stopped having sex, and I don't cheat, and so I was like, yo, brother, still horny was up, you know, And so I tried to I was trying to figure out and do all kinds of different things. And someone said go see a sex therapist. And my ex at the time, she was not with it. But then I got her a coerced her to do it, and she was with it. It didn't work, but after we broke up, I just wanted to learn more about I wanted to take away the nicheans that I have as a dumb ass man, and then also to just help other people. And then of course I want to be fantastic.

00:19:42
Speaker 1: I love all of these reasons. You have a lot of layers. I love this.

00:19:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, this is incredible question for you. Do you think every guy should eat the cookie? Have you heard that expression before?

00:20:00
Speaker 3: I mean I haven't heard the expression, but you can get you if a woman likes it, absolutely do I like to do it? You damn right, I do.

00:20:11
Speaker 1: That's good because if you ain't the cookie, you ain't hitting it right, all right? And when a man eats the cookie, there are no red flags.

00:20:21
Speaker 3: There are feelas you heard her saying, I ain't saying she said it. There you go.

00:20:26
Speaker 1: I'm the wedding already. Okay. Next question, do you have to go to school to be a sex Are you a sex therapist or do you call yourself a sex coach?

00:20:33
Speaker 3: And is there a different there's a difference. I'm not a sex therapist. Sex therapist focused on today and behind in the past, sex coach focused on today in the future. I am a certified sex coach. I'm also working on becoming a board certified sexologist. I'll have body simmer next year, a licensed contra practitioner, and then a practitioner of natural healing. I'll have all three of those by the end of next December. And so I'm still going to school for those things. Right now. It's a tons of work. Like it ain't like, hey, stick your penis here, you know, it's so much more work than that, because I have to in order for me to be great in bad one thing that I had to learn was how to receive, and for me individually, I'm just talking about myself. I had a hard time with that and so I had to do a lot of meditation, a lot of breathing work. Outside of just the physical act of sex, you have to understand the mind. And you know, they say if you can make someone mentally with then you can definitely have you know, if I can have your mind, then I can have your body. Right. That's I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with that. That's just something that some people say. And I need to know how the mind works as well. The mind body spirit connection. There's so many pieces into it. People just say, oh, sex, he knows how to fuck. It's like, yeah, I do, But there's so much more. There's so much more to that, so so much more.

00:21:47
Speaker 1: No, I agree, and men and women are so different because you can be great in bed, but if mentally like you're you don't have me, I'm not getting off.

00:21:58
Speaker 3: You agree, completely agree with you. But then also it's not just like I continue to harp on the act of the physical act, the core play, as I say, right, there's aftercare. That is a lie. It does so much for a connection, and so it could be as simple as let's say you my girl, and I'm just holding your belly, right, those simple things for a man to knowens just in comparison to just oh baby by busting and goes.

00:22:20
Speaker 1: Lay down right, Yeah, like throws a wet towelet you to clean yourself off.

00:22:25
Speaker 3: Sounds like personal experience you've had if anything. Okay, this is a tip for the Fellers right quick, like when you know when whatever happens, right, get warm up the towel.

00:22:35
Speaker 1: Warm up the towel.

00:22:36
Speaker 3: I warm up the towel. Bro It's so simple.

00:22:39
Speaker 1: It's so simple. Yeah, come on, there's two little things there by the faucet.

00:22:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, like giving them a damn coach's fucking easy.

00:22:49
Speaker 2: Right, So get into this aftercare more because I'm very and I've never heard of that before because usually it's like sex is over one when the guy has ejaculated.

00:22:59
Speaker 4: I love that you because like that it's ended when the guy has well because usually they respectfully they get you off first, like like with Kyle, it's always never happens to me ever and.

00:23:11
Speaker 3: Ever who Kyle is your guy.

00:23:17
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that there were dudes out there that like also cared if if I was happy at the end. It was like once they were done, it was like that was great. Yeah, And I'm sitting here going I know it was great for you, but like the being in your bathroom for.

00:23:34
Speaker 3: A word, dumb ass guys. We can get off very quickly right until you train yourself and then you can go like months without getting off. But then you to orgasm different than ejaculation, but we can get into that later. But after care, because you have first you have rising action, which is what happened before penetration. Then you have core play, and then you have aftercare or after play, and after play is super important. It builds up the intimacy. It feels a connection. It's the holding of each other. It's just talking and laughing and having fun, making fun of one another. Right, it's the fair a moments that you smell from each other. It's just being a moment with your person. Now, if you just like a sneaky link, then you might not want to be doing that.

00:24:15
Speaker 1: No, because I'm for sure getting a toad just so if you're doing that after you better throw me a warm tile and to clean myself off, like if you don't want, because like I can, definitely I'm the type of person where all I want is transparency.

00:24:31
Speaker 3: That's it, that's my right lunguage by the way, just being.

00:24:34
Speaker 1: Honest, right, So if I know that you and I like we're just fucking, my mind is not even gonna go anywhere else. I know what this is, right, Yeah, the second you start fucking with my mind. I'm a woman. I'm also thirty two years old. I've lived not a lot of life, but I've lived some life. I'm a mom, Like, I don't have time for that shit, right, So let's call it what it is. You don't need to do like the aftercare with me. I'm a grown up. I can take it. I can have fucks.

00:25:02
Speaker 3: I have fucks, so sure, I can have fucks.

00:25:05
Speaker 1: I can have fucks. I'm actually great at that. I'm great at separating that type of shit. Okay, but you're right about that in your book, I'll write that chapter for you.

00:25:17
Speaker 2: Do you enjoy though, Would you enjoy the aftercare?

00:25:22
Speaker 1: Aftercare is my favorite part because I'm not a cheater.

00:25:27
Speaker 3: Percentage of time that you have sex that you feel like you've had a orgasm?

00:25:34
Speaker 1: Low?

00:25:36
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, so that was like reverse flipped over to like, let's say ninety after care will still be your favorite part.

00:25:44
Speaker 1: I think.

00:25:44
Speaker 3: So that's awesome.

00:25:45
Speaker 1: To know.

00:25:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you, I'm just learning.

00:25:50
Speaker 1: I just like those those moments with someone who I'm into, you know, like the sex is great even Like when I think about what I want in a partner, I know that looks are going to fade, and I know that sex as we get older is also going to fade. We're not going to be fucking like Jack Rabbits when we're like ninety seven.

00:26:09
Speaker 3: I know someone's gonna get mad at that I say this. I really don't care. Look black, doone crack?

00:26:15
Speaker 1: I know that from experience. Agreed with you. Yes, we all warn anly and fun places. Okay, So you think, like when you're dealing with someone who comes to you there like I need a sex coach. Where do you start with them?

00:26:38
Speaker 3: Lit's sit down and talk. What is it?

00:26:40
Speaker 1: Usually what they want? It depends on what they're coming to you for, right, depends on.

00:26:42
Speaker 3: What they're coming if it's an individual, if it's a couple of it depends on what's going on. Yeah, so a lot of people have this this thing with monogamy, right, but what in actuality happens is we're just we're serial monogamy in comparison to how what we say we want and how we judge other people for not being monogamous, but those that are monogamous are just serial monogamous for the most part, right, And I love what you said about Look, I'm a grown ass woman. Just give it to me straight, you know, what would you like? And then I can tell you that's what I like, so that therefore we can build boundaries and have consent, and then you have a wonderful thing going despite what side of the field that you lie on. And so when it comes to clients, which I don't have many clients one on one just because respectfully, time and money doesn't equate normally, you know, time per hour. And so that's why I'm working on Feelings Seen dot com, which is my newsletter that we're coming out with very soon to be able to help the masses, the masses at hand. And a big thing that the majority of the people that have signed up already have talked about is that they don't know how to communicate normally, as women don't know how to communicate to their man. Hey, babe, I love you, but you just haven't given me an orgasm in like five years, you know, And I'm like, damn you I just want to do to be like, bro, you should really listen to the things that I'm about to start talking about, Yes, seriously, but then also there's things that women could do better as well that guys have asked. And I mean it's just all kinds of things people have come to me and talk to me about privately. You would let your imagination for a while.

00:28:24
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, what is it usually with men that come to you about like or a couple? What is the man usually have to complain about with the chick.

00:28:33
Speaker 3: When it's a one on one setting. Normally it's a chick that comes in, it has the has something that she wants it to speak to. Or the times I've had men strictly come in without their lady is because they want to do better because it's something that's taken place already.

00:28:49
Speaker 1: Well, are they cheated or something?

00:28:51
Speaker 3: No, I've had times to where cheating has definitely occurred. Right, it's his number two reasons for infidel He's number two reasons for divorce.

00:28:58
Speaker 1: Might is the first being financial And so the first is financial?

00:29:04
Speaker 3: Have you not seen these tiktoks? Where again, I'm not condoning this, I'm just speaking about tiktoks to where women are like, yo, he's a billionaire, caught him cheating, but.

00:29:14
Speaker 2: You you showed me the one that says like he's got red flags but he like it goes down or eats.

00:29:23
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm he's number two. Okay, numbers financially, you ain't got your money right, You're just not even in the game.

00:29:31
Speaker 1: You want to know what's so crazy is because I have the p I now like I look into financials before I even allow someone in. But let's just say, like I get into that.

00:29:39
Speaker 3: Was a double on time.

00:29:41
Speaker 1: If if I meet someone he's set financially, I'm set financially.

00:29:47
Speaker 3: Set financially, it just.

00:29:48
Speaker 1: Means we're paying our bills on time and we can live a comfortable life. I'm not looking for you to like get on private planes and take me.

00:29:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna go deep brand said Okay, Okay, So when I hear that, I call BS on it, because what is one's bills? Bills are completely different for every person. So what is give me a number to where you're like, hi, I can work with that twenty month, the honey cab month, Like what are we talking a million a month, a million a day?

00:30:12
Speaker 1: If you're spending a million a day, I think you're a fucking idiot, all right, I agree, And I don't even care. No, no, I can think of a million in one places for you to be spending that money. Like I live in Los Angeles. I'm looking like what's going on out here? Like you want to spend a million a day? I know exactly how you can spend that in a productive way. What do you need for a million dollars a day, million dollars a month? You're fucking crazy. I could go on a tangent about okay, so how much you won't even go there? What is it?

00:30:39
Speaker 3: What is a minimum like for you to feel comfortable? Like, okay, I'll let you in.

00:30:44
Speaker 1: It's hard for me to put a number on it because I think for me, it's I need you to have a car. I really don't care what your car is looking like you I need you to be driving with insurance and a driver's license. Like it's a bare minimum.

00:30:57
Speaker 3: How sad?

00:30:57
Speaker 1: The bar is very low?

00:31:00
Speaker 3: Is that? Come on? Now?

00:31:02
Speaker 1: I'm really being serious, Like, if you as long as we can, you're like pulled together. You got somewhere to live, You're paying your rent, or your mortgage on time, whatever credit card, your racketing.

00:31:13
Speaker 3: All right, cool, we could talk.

00:31:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, as long as you're as long as you're falling in line with what you're supposed to do financially, then like I can definitely handle all of that, right, because I've seen money come and go like that. So whatever, let's say we're hitting it off financially at the beginning, all is good and then shit changes, because I've seen that happen quickly. That would not be a reason for me to leave somebody again. I'm only going off of like how I grew up, Like my dad hit on hard times, my mom stepped up to the plate where their arguments, but it was not to the point where they like divorce was on the table. So for me, like you would catch me stripping right like to pay these bills and make sure that we were good. It's just who I am. You'll catch me on only fans fans, No, I don't. But if we were struggling, me and my man, I'd be like, I got you, babe, Like we're all.

00:32:10
Speaker 3: I got you, I got I do, I got.

00:32:14
Speaker 1: I Would you fucking cheat? You're done. We're never having another conversation we got kids. You can talk to my lawyer, like, you will never know for real, cheating done. I will never work through it.

00:32:28
Speaker 3: Let me ask you another question. Yes, so this is the question.

00:32:31
Speaker 1: Feel like I'm with a therapist right now with you.

00:32:34
Speaker 3: So how would you feel if you're a guy? Was like, babe, it's been a few years. I absolutely love everything you're doing. You're phenomenal. I don't I'll never cheat on you, but I want to have a conversation around cessential phenomenogamy. What is that Potential nomenogamy is to wear.

00:32:48
Speaker 1: Where the third party comes in.

00:32:50
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, we can go with that term.

00:32:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, or an open relationship.

00:32:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a bit different, but yeah, we'll go with that.

00:32:57
Speaker 1: For me personally, I would say with that comment like, I don't think you're happy at this point in time, and I think this relationship has run its course, and I wish you all the best. Thank you for talking to me before you went and cree, but like, I'm all good. I hope you can find someone who's willing to have threesomes with you, because I ain't it.

00:33:14
Speaker 3: No, it doesn't have three threesons, but fair, completely fair, Wait.

00:33:16
Speaker 1: What do you mean it doesn't have to be threesomes if you're the third party.

00:33:20
Speaker 3: That's why I said we'll go with your term, because I didn't want to get too far in detail into the definitions of it. But it could be you saying, hey, I want to go sleep with another dude every now and or another girl every now and then.

00:33:29
Speaker 1: I don't want that.

00:33:30
Speaker 3: That's perfectly fine. The reason I asked was because you were speaking about cheating and infidelity. And what I found via my research is that for the record, I don't condone it, don't condone it. But what I found via my research is that infidelity is because the truth is harder than the lie. Yeah, and so I find that a lot of people have a really hard time telling that truth, whatever that truth may be, and so that therefore they are cowardly and they go being male woman, whatever your gender is, and they seek pleasure outside of that relationship in comparison. That's why I follow that question that was saying, how would you feel about this? And you said that person's truth within their relationship with you, So therefore they'll be scared to bring that up to you, which is their truth, and they never lie to you or don't cheated on you, right.

00:34:17
Speaker 1: But if that's not, if I'm not interested in that, then we're on different paths.

00:34:21
Speaker 3: Correct. I agree with you, you know, there's nothing wrong with that, like cool, And.

00:34:25
Speaker 1: It's weird because I feel like there's conversations that have to be had with couples these days, just because there's so everything is so accessible on your phone, Like you're learning about Oh I could be enough thrupple or I could you know. I'm like, I'm like rated g over here right, like I I like on.

00:34:43
Speaker 3: You.

00:34:44
Speaker 1: I just like there's so many things out there sexually with however many people and how it works, and I'm like, this is too much. I don't like it. We all need to find God and that's just where we're at. But so for me, lying freaks me out because I don't want to keep up with the lie. And I also know that karma exists, so when I'm thinking about, okay, I the lie may be easier for me to tell right now, but at some point down the line, I'm gonna have to like pay for that. I'm gonna have to be held accountable. I agree that part freaks me out.

00:35:19
Speaker 3: And if it's not the person that has to hold you accountable. Someone will hold you accountable, whether it be something, will hold you accountable, agree you completely.

00:35:28
Speaker 1: So I just like to keep it one hundred and I. I haven't been in a really healthy partnership honestly since I was probably in high school with like my high school sweetheart. You tell me, Doc, I have no fucking idea. I'm attracting something real fucking limitics in these streets. I'm like, I feel like I do the work on myself, but I'm attracted in some weirdos, you know.

00:35:54
Speaker 2: From an outsider looking in. Here's the thing which pisses me off, but we won't go there. To me, I feel like she goes for the good, the good things like in her past relationship.

00:36:06
Speaker 1: I guess she.

00:36:07
Speaker 2: Goes for like she's like, yeah, I get maybe he's not the best looking, maybe he's not this, maybe he's not that, but he's gonna take care of my heart and soul. I can feel it. He's my best friend, and so that's why I'm gonna be with this person. And like it makes it pisses me off because I do feel like Laala goes for the good things, which for some reason in today's world, when you're looking for the good things or something, you find these people and they trick you. It's like when you're looking for the good things, that attracts you to the manipulators. And it's weird to say because like, I feel like I have a good guy. I've been with him for six years, like he's the greatest, but I also feel it's a shout out to Kyle, but I'm lucky, and I feel like she does go for that, like she's not necessarily from an outsider looking in the person that's gonna see hot guy and be like this is it. I don't care what I'm getting with this guy. She's gonna like get with someone and invite I went into her life if they're a good person or she feels they're a good person. So then when you find out they're not, that's what's infuriating. It's like, why are the people who are looking for the good things getting fucked over a lot?

00:37:11
Speaker 1: So I don't think it's on you.

00:37:12
Speaker 2: I really dont Does that make sense?

00:37:16
Speaker 1: Yeah? Why do you? Because when you attract people who are just like not great over and over again, you have to look at like, what is it about me that's allowing this type of person into my life, you know, and I'm the type where my guard is completely down when I meet new people. I'm not damaged that well, no, I'm damaged. But before it was like, let's do this, and then when you do me wrong is when the guard goes up. So I never allow myself to sit there and go When you earn things, then you get a part of me. I give it all, and then when you show me something that I don't like or you do me dirty, then it's like a very quick like I'm done, Like I feel so betrayed. That makes sense, completely made.

00:38:01
Speaker 3: Both of y'all make complete sense.

00:38:03
Speaker 1: I feel like this is your podcasting, but I'm taking advantage of the fact that you do what you do to fix me on this podcast.

00:38:11
Speaker 3: Well, we're gonna give that. We're gonna put the energy back in your seat. I'm just gonna say, what respond to what you said, Jessica, Yeah, my grandma'd be dating some ugly ass dudes too, so.

00:38:22
Speaker 1: Me and your grandma should go out and troll together. We anting I.

00:38:26
Speaker 3: Would be like, hey, why are you getting.

00:38:28
Speaker 1: It, ugliest dude?

00:38:30
Speaker 3: Come on?

00:38:30
Speaker 1: But she has her reasons.

00:38:32
Speaker 3: No, And you know, a dude gotta be like for I'm a straight mail, right, and so for a straight mail to talk about another man's looks, that man has to be extremely uly or extremely good looking, Like, yeah, you can't just be like three to a eight. You gotta be like on the extreme side.

00:38:51
Speaker 1: Totally. That's very true. So she's dating some ugly but she's I bet she has her reasons.

00:38:58
Speaker 2: No, Is it because they're kind or funnier?

00:39:00
Speaker 1: Something?

00:39:01
Speaker 3: They are kind? Yeah, I appreciate the way that they treat her. Then I get to listen to I grew up with three women, of course, and so we got that woman trongness in the household. And I'm like, damn, this is how you'all feel about man? Okay?

00:39:12
Speaker 1: Can I tell you what I've learned?

00:39:13
Speaker 3: Yes? Please?

00:39:15
Speaker 1: Ugly men will do you the dirtiest, especially an ugly man who's come into like maybe like a little bit of money. Run.

00:39:25
Speaker 3: Is that the equivalent of a person that was once a beste that got in super shape?

00:39:31
Speaker 1: Is that the equivalent would you say, an ugly man coming into money?

00:39:35
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:39:35
Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh, I haven't thought about that either. I also don't want to refund anybody.

00:39:42
Speaker 2: No, but you know what the thing about that is. For the record, Well, I had a friend in high school who was obese and then got great shape and he was like the kindest to women, the funniest. And it's because even when he lost the w yes, he didn't become an asshole.

00:39:58
Speaker 3: I'll see talking about the thing aspect. I want to compliment that individual, right because I think when you go from no attention to a lot of attention despite what it is, So I'm not coming at noone. They could feel how they want to feel. It's the internet, but y'all, the three of us know what I'm talking about. Like, I commend those individuals because they going from having no attention to getting all of the attention. It's like the two things that show you who you truly are are getting acts to a lot of money, getting asks to a lot of alcohol in or drugs. Right, and then therefore we can change that. And I know you probably have something to say to that part. And I think that when you go from having no attention to a lot of attention, it's definitely commendable when you could still be a wonderful human being.

00:40:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I don't feel like we give enough credit to people who are like in these streets being kind, right.

00:40:41
Speaker 3: We don't. We truly don't.

00:40:43
Speaker 1: I feel like last podcast we gave a lot of credit to people who were just like being nice. Today we did, right. So sad that we live in a world where I fact like, if you're swinging good dick and you're still nice after that, I want to meet you and give you a gold star. So let's talk about this. Do you feel like you're in your head because you know so much, you have so much knowledge when it comes to this that do you kind of like mind fuck yourself when you're out in the world dating and trying to find a partner undred percent not.

00:41:13
Speaker 3: Gonna lie about it, one hundred percent when specifically when I'm in the bedroom and it's someone that I really care about, someone I like. I spoke about this on My Homegirl sham bou Duran's podcast. I've definitely had time to where I get in my head because I know how women look at men and judgment and don't have a lot of respect for us, and I know the statistics and all this stuff, and then me, I'm like, yo, I do want your body. I am I am man, I definitely want to have sex. I need to stop saying it, because women want to have sex as much as men do, and if not more. And I do get in my head because I want to. I do want to engage in this activity, but I don't want it to change the way you think I may feel about you.

00:41:49
Speaker 1: Okay, like once you hit then you're like disconnected.

00:41:52
Speaker 3: I don't want her to feel that way, but her history and or a capacit experience may tell her that. And then I get in my head overthinking it too much.

00:42:00
Speaker 1: Right, So when you hear chicks, like when you're getting to know a chick, are their little red flags that you're like, no, no, no, I can't even go there.

00:42:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean one that we all use, like we going to dinner day. And personally, if I were to do it first date, I would not want it to be a dinner day or a movie.

00:42:17
Speaker 1: But what would it be?

00:42:18
Speaker 3: So I live in Austin, I like, I like you to wear some jeans and your tea crop top. Be comfortable, really comfortable, cozy, got it comfortable cozy. We might take the scooters, we might go walk around the park. We might go grab a bite to eat. I might I might have someone to come out. If we're at the park, I might have someone bring out some wine, like a Butler style, just something really cool, like we're very chill. But then I got one of the homies dressed up in the tucks, right, some vibes like that, just something different.

00:42:47
Speaker 1: What was your question? I was asking, like, what when you're with someone getting to know her, Like what the red flags?

00:42:54
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, so one red flag that I think we all know depend on how you treat the white staff. I can't deal with that shit. No, Like in my personality, I'm very strong.

00:43:06
Speaker 1: Where are you from.

00:43:07
Speaker 3: I'm from Dallas, Okay.

00:43:08
Speaker 1: So you're Texas boys, So you have manners all right?

00:43:11
Speaker 3: Yeah? Well I lived all around the world and yeah, I think I got a little bit of everything.

00:43:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're well rounded. But I just I find that I like men from Texas, not all of them, the ones I've encountered. They just I've found that there's something sweet in their soul. I don't know what their mamas did, but they did something right. I'm from Utah, so like it's a little different, but we got them Mormon roots, so we're like, we love that Father. I'm not Mormon, but we're like treat everyone the way you want to be treated.

00:43:40
Speaker 3: Utah and me being a sex coach, there's a lot of people with a trauma from purity purity culture.

00:43:47
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's intense.

00:43:48
Speaker 3: A lot of trauma from that, which I don't think gets spoken about a lot.

00:43:52
Speaker 1: Well, that church will make sure it's not spoken about.

00:43:54
Speaker 3: Well, I'm here to fuck up.

00:43:57
Speaker 1: Fu shit up. That's the one thing raised in Utah. I was not raised Mormon. I had zero I want to say, like religion. I don't want to say that I had zero, but it was much more spiritual than anything, right, because I had my mom who was like raising a very Christian household. Were you raised Christian? Yes, I assume so, right, and then like very heavy on God in the Bible. And then my dad was raised Mormon. So I think they were both kind of scarred. But there is that thing in Utah where I'm sure a lot of people come to you and they have to deal with like the guilt that that church puts on them.

00:44:31
Speaker 3: That's I would say one of the top three reasons that I've seen that women have a hard time with orgasm.

00:44:37
Speaker 1: They feel like it's bad what ye oh oh, no, like shame. There's like a blockage. Oh no, honey, can I tell you yes? Because purity right, like I got that, I don't have that purity whatever. But like if I were living in Utah and I'm like, I don't drink, people are gonna be like, use a Mormon. But it's just I will burn your motherfucking house down if you give me a bod casda right now? Okay. But since I got sober, sex is different. I feel like a new person.

00:45:06
Speaker 3: That's what's up. I'm happy for your you know, I have a hard time watching uh porn now over like the last three, four, five, six months is because and it's only getting worse and worse because I'll be looking at these artists and I'm like, bro, you ain't hitting it right. I'm looking at the dude aspect right.

00:45:25
Speaker 1: Oh so you are upset about the way they're hitting it.

00:45:28
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, bro, you ain't heitting it right now. She's doing her job, she acting of course. I'm like, hommy, like you teaching all these men to like like beat it up like a jack rabbit. Youah, like a jack rabbit when you're not.

00:45:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's making love.

00:45:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's bomb bomb rather than making the love you want? Yes, bringing it all back. Is this about sex?

00:45:52
Speaker 1: No, okay, it's all about love.

00:45:54
Speaker 3: It's all about self love self.

00:45:57
Speaker 1: Oh, this is going to be amazing to it. But if after I read this book, I just bagged me a man, and then I owe it all to you?

00:46:03
Speaker 2: Or maybe Mike, are you single?

00:46:05
Speaker 1: Wait? But you did go on a date with Meghan King? Right?

00:46:08
Speaker 3: Yes? Megan is?

00:46:09
Speaker 1: Yes, like she's great in the iHeart the iHeart Awards.

00:46:12
Speaker 3: Oh I thought you heart Megan too. I heart Megan? Yes.

00:46:18
Speaker 1: But it was music, Yes, I love that for you.

00:46:22
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:46:22
Speaker 3: So the way that when I date for me, it's for myself. I do a three month checking right, So every three months I'm like, man, what have I done for her lately?

00:46:32
Speaker 1: Okay?

00:46:33
Speaker 3: Right, that's something I do for myself. And then it's just all about the energy. How does she make me feel?

00:46:38
Speaker 1: Like?

00:46:39
Speaker 3: Is she making me grow?

00:46:40
Speaker 1: She?

00:46:40
Speaker 3: Is she putting me in check? Okay, so that she knows I've told her my goals. Does she put me in check when I'm falling off in a respectful way? Like I respect the way that she puts me in check? Right? Okay, these are things that I'm looking for you know, I mean besides I, of course all the other stuff, right, I don't look at it like is this the person? The one I look at it is this person and my loving art energy together, right, and my loving being with this person, and I loving having themost respect for this person, and I like those are type of those are things out of questioned, right. And then for myself, I'm like, yeoh, what have I done for this girl lately?

00:47:08
Speaker 1: So every three months you go through that.

00:47:10
Speaker 3: List, ain't like exactly three months. It's like a mental thing, right.

00:47:13
Speaker 1: Right, And then how long do you do that?

00:47:16
Speaker 3: That's the foreverything. Like if I'm married to you, for you for the next eighty three years, that's a continual thing. I always gotta date you. I always got to always gotta eat the cookie.

00:47:25
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, you better be take your dentures out, give me a little gummage.

00:47:32
Speaker 3: You might like you might like that more honestly.

00:47:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course you wouldn't, because a lot of these dudes.

00:47:38
Speaker 3: Out here a little week that's a course coming soon. Oh you.

00:47:41
Speaker 1: It's like jaws out in these streets with people who don't know what the right not Jaws out in these streets breaks me out, get away. And also if your brethday and right, you're not going near my cookie.

00:47:54
Speaker 3: This is fact. But I gotta talk about the letty. So y'all can't just be coming on the entirety of men, like what about these dead bed when.

00:48:02
Speaker 1: The like starfish?

00:48:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, starfishing? Yeah, totally Like you can't be doing that either. Now, come on out, Okay, I didn't charge you up. What's going on?

00:48:12
Speaker 1: Let's move That is very true.

00:48:13
Speaker 3: So you know, it's things on both sides. Everybody can work on.

00:48:16
Speaker 1: Everyone can work on something. Absolutely, I love it. This was really fun. I enjoyed having you on. Thank you so much for joining me on my podcast. I can't wait to read your book, Making the Love you Want.

00:48:28
Speaker 2: Oh and where can we find you?

00:48:30
Speaker 1: Obviously? I know you plugged your website, but where is the website again?

00:48:34
Speaker 3: Just check out feelingscene dot com. The landing page is going to be refreshed very soon because when I made it I was a little inebriated, so therefore it be coming soon.

00:48:45
Speaker 2: And then your Instagram is at Mike Johnson.

00:48:48
Speaker 3: Mike Underscore Johnson, just Mike Johnson. You can find me on there. I'm like the only black dude on named Mike Johnson pop star.

00:48:53
Speaker 1: I actually had a best friend in high school who was blackman Mike Johnson. Oh so just saying, I.

00:49:00
Speaker 3: Mean, I'm sure you have. Michael Johnson is a very popular name, but at the same time, it is ida Mike Johnson.

00:49:07
Speaker 1: I love it, and thank you, my love for listening to another episode of You Give Them Mala podcast and I will catch you next week.