A Line in the Sand | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks so much for joining us again. We are always excited to come and talk.

00:00:15
Speaker 2: Always, always always. How are you doing today, Susan.

00:00:18
Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm good. How about you?

00:00:20
Speaker 2: I'm great. Okay, we are going to get into more of your fan questions, but first, I mean, who can resist? We've got to talk about the Golden Bachelorette men. Tell all. I don't know where to begin, but let me just saying it was incredible. First of all, how cool is it? I felt the whole love again, I felt the hope last night, the camaraderie. Did you love how they brought everyone up, many of them on stage.

00:00:48
Speaker 1: And they brought their families, their kids were there. That was so awesome. As a matter of fact, I text the Mark I said, I'm feeling the love when he wrote that note, yes, oh my gosh, that was so sweet.

00:01:03
Speaker 2: So I thought, you know, when when you see them crying in the camaraderie. We know women get together and we cry and we hold each other's hands, but seeing the men do that and their friendships are real too. And I just loved how about Jack and his Hamburgers? For all agree Jack's making hamburger, Susan, I mean they're making meatful.

00:01:24
Speaker 1: Agree with him. You do not put barbecue sauce on a hamburger, and you don't overcook it. I agree with him.

00:01:32
Speaker 2: And never hit the spatul and squeeze the juice at okay. I loved that they looked back at the season. It just gave and gave context to the whole season. But Kathy, you were.

00:01:43
Speaker 1: Right by saying they brought up so many different people. They didn't do that for us.

00:01:48
Speaker 2: Well, you know, when we get our second turn at it, Susan, they.

00:01:51
Speaker 1: Think because Faith talked really long that.

00:01:53
Speaker 2: Lice and I was still explaining why I said zip it. So you know, it just goes on. And but wait, I want to ask you, Michael, when he said that he had a diagnosis of cancer, did we just learn that last night?

00:02:10
Speaker 1: No? No, he just had the name of his disease whatever it was.

00:02:14
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, Michael is a cancer survivor. He talked about it last night. Yeah. No, that's a different guy.

00:02:22
Speaker 1: Who's Michael?

00:02:23
Speaker 2: Different guy? Did you watch the show last night?

00:02:27
Speaker 1: Dan loves it When she gets fresh with me, you know it's going to happen when I.

00:02:30
Speaker 2: See her, I love you. She's gonna shave my hair off. Dan is one with the tremor. Dan Michael is the one. I don't know how to help you here if you haven't been watching the season.

00:02:42
Speaker 1: He just answered a question.

00:02:43
Speaker 2: Right. He's a good looking guy on the show who last night talked about he was diagnosed with cancer right before he came on the show, and he was talking about how great the show was. It was just what he needed in the spring he got from the guys and his family.

00:03:02
Speaker 1: That's the guy from Florida. His name is not Michael, honey, Okay, it was Dan that was talking about Susan.

00:03:11
Speaker 2: Just can you just work with Michael? Michael is the guy with cancer. We're using a baller time arguing. Just say doaty, you're right so we can move on.

00:03:21
Speaker 1: You're always right.

00:03:22
Speaker 2: I'm not always, but I love that Dan. Speaking of Dan, who's the guy with the dremmor talking You know they were having a bromance, the emotional you know how much they loved each other. I mean perfect.

00:03:35
Speaker 1: It was for his year that he could have been really, really bad. I know I'm thinking of when you're talking about this I'm just I give up. I'm stuck here, You're stuck. Get unstuck.

00:03:47
Speaker 2: But the other thing I wanted to say, Katie bigger, Katie bigger, And there, magically is a picture of Michael.

00:03:57
Speaker 1: And there's Michael, and I thought his name was Dan.

00:04:00
Speaker 2: No, there's a Dan. We're we're gonna a picture Dan, just out bat. But my question twenty minutes ago when we started this whole thing was, Diz, did Michael talk about having cancer? I didn't know that until last night. I don't believe we heard it till last night. And I don't think he did. But I'm sure you'll take issue with that, but I don't think he did on the season.

00:04:24
Speaker 1: I think you're right, Kathy, because what I was thinking was Dan and how he said hello, a good.

00:04:29
Speaker 2: Year and yeah, yeah. So Katie Bicker who is? She and her fiancee Zach live in Austin, and Katie came over to watch the show with me last night, Susan. I swear she sat there. She had she's watched you know, many of the episodes. But she started crying and I said, oh I did, she goes, Kathy, this is so sad. We're both sitting there tearing up. How you know how we felt the love and how those sadness and but they're finding love again. And she goes, Kathy, how are you dealing with this? I said, I don't know. I'm hoping we'll get all the tears out and then if I get to meet her guys, one of them works out. She was just dying laughing, but she I did.

00:05:08
Speaker 1: It was so beautiful and how Charles l wait, the world loves Charles. How about then?

00:05:16
Speaker 2: We need to stop everything here right now. I would like you to take a second, go and hail something that will calm you down and get your head back in the game. Please.

00:05:26
Speaker 1: Today the girl stood up and said, we want you to be the next Golden Bat.

00:05:34
Speaker 2: Can we talk about his hair dye? Can we talk about I thought I need to ask you about this, Susan. I thought it was a little dark, but he's such a sweet guy. And what about Pascal Wait, Pascal with the face masks and the meditation, Joe.

00:05:48
Speaker 1: Dere and the two frying pans Joan.

00:05:54
Speaker 2: I mean, this this show should win an award. Last night it had something for everyone. There was laughter, there were tears, there was hope.

00:06:04
Speaker 1: You know how about when Joan was trying to say her whatever she was saying, and that the animals, the birds in the background, she couldn't get it out.

00:06:14
Speaker 2: The blue birds are always Okay, we have got to talk the biggest thing, so you you know, we've talked about this. My husband was an officer in the Navy, not a captain as Kim was, or a commander, and I think I think it was a captain. The song the song having wait the La Gay Men's because I'm sitting with Katie and I'm like, oh my god, wait, they're bringing a lot of single guys out. Maybe i can pick one of them, and they're burst out laughing. When he said the La Men's Gay Choir was like, yep, shot down to day.

00:06:48
Speaker 1: You're really talented. They said that song that they did some justice to that song. No, he was how cute it wasn't But the show just I don't know. I left that show last night.

00:07:00
Speaker 2: This was so good. And the letter you touched on it from Mark that.

00:07:04
Speaker 1: Was just beautiful. That's something I related to that like no other. And then he left a misticky note to put on the mirror because.

00:07:14
Speaker 2: Men typically doing that. I don't just.

00:07:17
Speaker 1: There are good people help good men out there, just like women, but they don't always show it. It takes a show where you're locked up in a place where no contact with the outside world for those things to come out.

00:07:31
Speaker 2: They don't show those things on an every day you know, and I will tell you no, they don't. And one of the other things, I just I love the show. I just I left last night feeling great. I loved that. Uh, they re showed, you know, how they were. They were showing bits and bobs of the season with each guy, And when they showed guy talking to Charles alabout I started to tear up again. In fact, I said, if she bit her tongue. I know. I messaged him last night and I said, I'm so glad they played that. It reminded me. That was such a kind gesture for you to do.

00:08:07
Speaker 1: I mean, ah, I know, it was good. It was really good.

00:08:11
Speaker 2: What do you think Jonathan's met someone?

00:08:13
Speaker 1: I know a few people.

00:08:16
Speaker 2: I heard Marcus dating someone.

00:08:18
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, there's pictures of her on the internet. Well, I don't believe everything I read, but yeah, I just hope they all find somebody and they're happy.

00:08:28
Speaker 2: You know, what about you and me? Yeah?

00:08:30
Speaker 1: Well, not yet, just say it?

00:08:41
Speaker 2: And what about Pascal say? I mean, look at we're just jumping from guy to guy because it was such a great episode. What did you think about Pascal saying you wanted to be friends with Joan? I thought Joan, By the way, let's talk about Joan for a minute. I thought she handled herself really well because with Pascal, we left her crying that he had self eliminated. She clearly was upset by that. You know, now we're down to shock shocked by it? Yeah, shocked or chocked by it.

00:09:15
Speaker 1: She was definitely surprised.

00:09:17
Speaker 2: But I just thought she handled it.

00:09:19
Speaker 1: Being so honest. I mean, he was being real.

00:09:23
Speaker 2: Didn't you love the way she said last night? It's okay he said, I want to be friends. It's just those are the kinds of happy endings that you want.

00:09:33
Speaker 1: Because she is happy.

00:09:34
Speaker 2: It's a lot of a plum. It's graceful, it is. I think she's handled herself with dignity and was so genuinely happy to see the guys. Did you hear say that like she missed them? I think she's handled herself incredibly she Wow, do you want to borrow the night?

00:09:54
Speaker 1: We are going to see them all.

00:09:56
Speaker 2: That's right. I just not too long from now, like less than a week. I want to know, do you want to borrow the dress that Joan had on.

00:10:06
Speaker 1: I couldn't do that. I could have a full off that.

00:10:12
Speaker 2: I don't think that's the probably she looks. I don't know that she dress. Who's getting a lot of talk on on the social I see, yeah, not.

00:10:21
Speaker 1: Well, people have opinions, you know.

00:10:24
Speaker 2: Listen, let me just say, Carrie, who is the stylist who I adore? I have the thing for him. I think he has styled her beautifully throughout the season, and she's.

00:10:35
Speaker 1: Got the body you can dress. I text him last night as well. He's like, oh thank you.

00:10:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's he's He keeps telling me if I get married, he's going to dress me.

00:10:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's something We'll take Carrie any day.

00:10:51
Speaker 2: So what do you think?

00:10:52
Speaker 1: I give the show a ten list.

00:10:54
Speaker 2: I give it eleven out of ten. Wait, one more thing. You see our girl Nancy, Yes, she looks so.

00:11:00
Speaker 1: She's so pretty, isn't she? And she's so genuine. I just love those cheeks in that face and that smile and her advice was beautiful.

00:11:11
Speaker 2: Nancy is truly like we've talked about this. You and I sometimes are misread because we're silly and we make jokes. But we both have a loving, you know side to us that we just have to feel very comfortable let that out. Nancy is exactly the opposite. She just can't be anything other than sweet and genuine and right.

00:11:34
Speaker 1: I agree to you, I agree, but I don't have a problem letting that out. I don't have to be comfortable to let that.

00:11:38
Speaker 2: Well, you and I just make a lot of jokes. I'm saying, we're known as the funny, crazy girls, you know.

00:11:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I have a serious side, and everybody knows that though from our show.

00:11:50
Speaker 2: Do you think, yeah, we're not the same.

00:11:52
Speaker 1: No matter what you say, we're not the same.

00:11:55
Speaker 2: No, I know, ye know why. I know the difference between Michael and Dan. We could start with that.

00:12:00
Speaker 1: Well, there you go. I give you that.

00:12:02
Speaker 2: If there's the finale, sus I'm gonna introduce you Michael.

00:12:05
Speaker 1: In my brain, none, I'm going.

00:12:07
Speaker 2: To introduce you Michael. This is Susan, this is Dan. Look at them very carefully.

00:12:14
Speaker 1: Leave Kathy, what do I look like?

00:12:17
Speaker 2: Walking on everything else? Obviously, jeez, we're gonna we'll take We'll.

00:12:21
Speaker 1: Tell they forget. I take it back. I apologize everybody, ladies and gentlemen. I know you're listening. I am wrong. She loves when I say this.

00:12:31
Speaker 2: She's rarely wrong. I will say that rarely rarely. Okay, well I can it's it. I can't believe it's over and we're gonna bum there in person.

00:12:43
Speaker 1: Yes we are. I'll probably try then too, right, because he never doesn't get picked. Oh my gosh, my empathy goes over.

00:12:52
Speaker 2: Well, whoever doesn't get picked has had a few months to deal.

00:12:57
Speaker 1: With it, right, Well, yeah, yeah, sure, I keep towying the idea of going back on the dating site.

00:13:04
Speaker 2: Oh god, Oh, I don't think Susan. We talked about this. I just like, don't do a thing. Katie was saying to me last night. She goes, Kathy, you just need You're so fun, You're you just need a really special guy. And I said, are you are you offering Zach? Are you going to share up? I mean it's hard.

00:13:22
Speaker 1: To find I know, I know, and they weren't our guys. I like them all, I really do. I can't wait to meet to meet them.

00:13:28
Speaker 2: I can't because you know what, you can't judge as you and I both know you can't judge by what you see on TV. That's just a little snippet of.

00:13:36
Speaker 1: Who they are exactly. But all in all, great show. Looking forward to the final.

00:13:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I can't believe the season's coming to an end, but here it is final Rose.

00:13:45
Speaker 1: Maybe there'll be a few roses laying around. Someone will give us one.

00:13:48
Speaker 2: I don't know, Susan, I'll grab one for you right after I introduce you to Michael and Dan.

00:13:55
Speaker 1: It's all Dan to me.

00:13:57
Speaker 2: All right, we got It's all Michael and Dan. All right, listen, we got to get into today's episode. Let's do this.

00:14:02
Speaker 1: All right, it's time for our question of the day, Kathy, You're ready, all right? Can an ultimatum ever work or be justified? In any kind of relationship, whether it be friendships, romance? Can an ultimatum ever work or be justified? Could you be okay with someone giving you an ultimatum?

00:14:30
Speaker 2: I actually I was going to say no, but I actually gave a friend an ultimatum because she did something to me twice and I and it caused, trust me a lot of issues in my family. And I said to her, if you can't commit to never doing that again, then I can't be your friend because it causes too much havoc with my family. It had to do with me since my husband passed away and where I was and what I was doing and set my kids into a complete tizzy. And she said, you know, Kathy, I can't promise you. And I said, then we can't be friends anymore. But I felt justified because of what it had done to my family. What about you relationships? Never? No?

00:15:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's my first thought. If I was given an ultimatum, excuse me, don't let the door hit you in the ass on a relationship. Yes, yes, it depends on what is said. Honestly, I mean i'd need a specific to really.

00:15:41
Speaker 2: Right, let me give you a specific, Susan, If you don't commit to cutting my hair once every year, that's not our friendship is over.

00:15:51
Speaker 1: It would be like an ultimatum, like you can't hang out with that girlfriend of yours. I don't want you to ever see her again. WHOA yeah, now, now, who are you to judge? Yeah, that's alrighty here, we got ready.

00:16:05
Speaker 2: I love We're going to get into our fan questions. So that's our favorite time here we go.

00:16:10
Speaker 1: Okay.

00:16:10
Speaker 2: First one is from Maggie, who's fifty one from Orange, California. Hi, Golden Hour girls. I love your podcast and wanted to reach out for some advice because I'm struggling. I lost my husband around ten years ago, and since then I've found a lot of my joy, socializing, etc. Through my work. Ever since the beginning of the pandemic, my company has transitioned to completely remote working from home. They have no intention of returning to the office, and while I've looked for other jobs, none of them have to pay benefits of my current job. I've been struggling with my mental health ever since. Working from home full time and working at coffee shops and libraries isn't the same socially. I try to do activities after work, but I just really loved the office culture and it has been such a help to me over the past decade. I'd love to hear if you have any thoughts on this or ways I can socialize more because being at home alone all day isn't working for me. Thank you for your advice.

00:17:11
Speaker 1: You know what that does? It really does. I can't imagine. I put myself there a few times thinking if I had that kind of job and I never left the house. I know we're going to say you got to join meetups and do activities, but when you're home all day a lot of times you don't even get dressed the way you used to get out and work. That is a really tough tough thing to go through. And I feel for you. I do you too, And she would have looked for other jobs. God bless her.

00:17:39
Speaker 2: So Maggie, I would say, Susan's exactly right. It's hard if you've been home, you know, in your pajamas or whatever, and then you're tired, you've been home all day, you're lonely. The hardest thing is to then get up and makeup on quad and do something at night. But I would encourage you a few nights a week to do just that, or on the weekend get out and join some activities where you'll have you'll be with like minded people, you know who will enjoy it. The other thing I would say to you is don't give up looking for a new job, because you know it's just it's like men, it just takes one. So keep looking for jobs, and you don't know that something good may not may not come about, and who knows, maybe maybe this is an opportunity knocking on your door to relocate, you know, let your life, imagine what your life could be and maybe something good. Will, as Susan always has, envision it and make it happen.

00:18:34
Speaker 1: Or what about the people that you did hang out with at the office. Have you given them a call or are they kind of in the same rut? If you will as you are, maybe they're you know, you'll get ready to go to the movies or out to dinner once a month or something.

00:18:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard, it's hard, and you know what, it's the bigger the rut you get into of not getting together with friends, the wor the harder it is to break that cycle. So try to try to break Try to look for a new job, try to get involved in activities. I know it's hard, but or even.

00:19:06
Speaker 1: Do it like a singles road trip. You know they have travel, Just go and do you. But we wish you a lot of love.

00:19:13
Speaker 2: Those those Susan. Usually those people come from all over the.

00:19:16
Speaker 1: Country, I know, and you're not really friends friends, Yeah, you're just friends in that I need something local. But thank you for writing me, Maggie. Let us know, Maggie, We're we're rooting for you. You can do it.

00:19:27
Speaker 2: You can do it. Just some positivity there, you can do it.

00:19:32
Speaker 1: Our next one is from Sally, who is thirty five from Salt Lake City, Utah. Hi, Kathy and Susan. I'm going to get right to it. I am the last of my friend group to get married. I live in Utah and everyone gets married and has kids super young here. But I waited to find my person, and I'm so glad I did. We are getting married next year and I couldn't be more excited. I am just feeling really disappointed and my friends, over the years, I have been the only single gal at all of their bachelorette parties, bridal showers, baby showers, etc. Now it's finally my turn. When I've brought up dates for my bachelorette party or bridal shower to my bridesmaids, they have excuses why they can't be there, due to their kids or husbands or whatever. I understand they all have different priorities now, but I just feel really sad that literally none of them are able to make a date work for my bachelorette weekend and we've all done that for each other. I feel like I'm being robbed of the experiences they had just because I am older and am getting married later. What would you do in this situation? Should I just not have a bachelorette party or a bridal shower? I always imagine my girl surrounding me leading up to my special day, and I'm just thank you for any advice. Oh my god, my heart's bleeding that.

00:21:05
Speaker 2: It's horrible, horrible. I can't even you know what.

00:21:10
Speaker 1: I get it. Those people's lives, they have kids, things going, but you've got to make an exception. She was there for all of them. That's not fair.

00:21:20
Speaker 2: Sally, that's her name, Sally. Here's what I would do. I couldn't agree with Susan Moore. Let's say there's six of them, you know, if you can get even half of them, and you know what I would do, honestly, I would sit and write a handwritten note to each one of them and.

00:21:39
Speaker 1: Explain for the guilt.

00:21:41
Speaker 2: Well, no, I would say, I understand, you know you have families and and husbands, but we've always been together and.

00:21:50
Speaker 1: We were been there for you, guys.

00:21:52
Speaker 2: I was always a few and and I feel like you guys don't really care about me. And you know, if that's the case, Okay, she's got to be willing though, to maybe like, well, let's draw on the guilt trip.

00:22:06
Speaker 1: You're right, You're right, that's it. What else could she do? Yes, you deserve a bridal shower. You absolutely. You put out money all those years for all.

00:22:17
Speaker 2: Those couples to our bachelor party.

00:22:19
Speaker 1: Call us, we'll come, and then they'll all want to come watch, and we'll come to your bachelor and you know what, we'll do a bachelorette party with you. Where you want to go, let.

00:22:28
Speaker 2: Us know, we'll do it with you, and we will have fun. Trust me, this is and I create fun wherever we go.

00:22:35
Speaker 1: But don't think for one second that you don't deserve it.

00:22:37
Speaker 2: You do.

00:22:38
Speaker 1: And if not all of them can come, at least some can. And I'm sure you have other friends and family will be there as well. But you know what, you're right for feeling yucky about this. I would too, And shame on those questions.

00:22:50
Speaker 2: This is one of the few questions we've had where it's it's very black and white. Yeah, for me and for you, I think she's been is there for them? And listen guys, if you're listening Sally's friends, Dude, I have grandchildren. See if you can find someone to take care, even if it's just overnight.

00:23:11
Speaker 1: To me, now it's the shower and you have to bring your child.

00:23:14
Speaker 2: Okay, there you go, get a babysitter, work it out, lay a couple hours, make an appearance.

00:23:19
Speaker 1: You don't even have to stuy.

00:23:20
Speaker 2: Sal's been a good friend to you. It's time to pay back. It's payback time, and that's what you do for friends. It's right, Oh, Kathy. The next one's from a man. Oh wait, and you know where he's from, Rochester, New York. Notice how I say that? People from how do you say it? You would probably say Rochester, but if you are from Rochester you.

00:23:39
Speaker 1: Might think there was a d in it.

00:23:41
Speaker 2: That's right, Just say Rochester. And my dad was from Rochester and my husband was from Rochester, so I know how to say it. Okay. Ed is forty four and from Rochester, New York. Hello Susan and Cathy. Sorry for such a sad question, but I'm curious if either of you have any for caretaking for a sick elderly parent. While I'm in my forties, most of my friend's parents are still pretty healthy, so I don't really know who to turn to. My dad passed away years ago, and my mom is really struggling with dementia. I visit her and spend time with her daily at her nursing home, but the whole experience of being a caretaker for someone you love and watching them struggle is so lonely and isolating. I see firsthand every day how much she is suffering, and my heart is just broken. Being a caretaker to her as also put a pause on my dating life, social life, and has even taken a toll on my work. This disease is so horrible and can go on for years and years. If either of you have any words of encouragement or advice, I would really appreciate it.

00:24:48
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it is very sad. I remember my grandmother going through it right now, and neighbor up the street is but I couldn't help. But notice she's in a facility. Yeah right, So you don't have to be the full time caretaker. You've got to excuse yourself. Not that you shouldn't visit, you definitely should, but you still have to keep a life and.

00:25:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, ed, just because if she's in a facility, and you have a job. You have to be responsible to all aspects of your life. You can pay honor and respect to your mom by visiting her, but you need to take care of yourself, which means showing up for work and giving it your best. It means taking time for your friends and dating life. Sitting with your mom all day, all weekend is not going to bring her back. It's not going to You're not You can't really live those years and your it sounds to me a little bit, not that I'm a therapist, but that you're mourning.

00:25:51
Speaker 1: She she said, I don't know if she's at the point where she doesn't recognize Sometimes they don't know who you are or and sometimes people might feel the more or they go, the better it is for her, you know what I mean. Yeah, I don't know the situation, but you can't forget about you. Yeah, and your mom. You love your mom that much, it shows.

00:26:14
Speaker 2: But you can't do it all. You can't do it all. And you know what, I think if your mom were of saying mine and wasn't struggling with dementia, she'd probably say ed, don't be silly, go out, meet friends, for dinner, have a date. Live your life. That doesn't mean not to come see your mom at all. It just means get a little more balance in your life at We wish you all the best. We hope that your mom just I don't know just.

00:26:43
Speaker 1: And we agree ed this disease is horrible. It's it's really sad, and it could go on for a long time. But don't forget about you, because if you're not healthy and you don't do you good, you're not going to be any good to her.

00:26:56
Speaker 2: That's what we do.

00:26:57
Speaker 1: Wish you love and love.

00:26:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right.

00:27:00
Speaker 1: The next one's from Lulu and she's thirty from Denver, Colorado. Hi, Hi, Susan and Cathy. So fun to be writing into you. I just had my first baby and wanted to know your thoughts on an issue I'm having with my in laws. They are unbelievably kind and generous and help us a time with the baby, but they are both smokers and have been for decades. I wouldn't tell them how to live their life or to stop, but whenever they hold our baby, she is handed back to me smelling like smoke. I have been very clear that they can't smoke around her and they respect that, but I can't stand that every time they hold on my newborn baby, she reeks of smoke. I don't want to tell them they can't hold her or come over because they really are so helpful and have been really amazing at helping us get set up for our first child. Do you think there is anything I can do about the smoke smell. We've tried wrapping her in a blanket, but it seems to permeonate everything. Ugh, let me know if you have any advice on this. And thank you so much and I adore you to ah Lulu.

00:28:16
Speaker 2: Congratulations first yeah, first of congratulations, But here's the thing. Your in laws. You can't make them quit smoking. If they're smokers or smokers you, by your own admissions, say they've been great help to you with the baby. Here's the deal. When they leave, put a baby in the bathtub.

00:28:36
Speaker 1: Or say something like, mom, could you wash your hands first? Because I can smell an on her.

00:28:42
Speaker 2: It's on your clothes. I'm sure it's all over their clothes. Smokers clothes smell. It's in their hair, it's in their fingertips, it's everywhere. And I don't blame you here's the good news, Lulu. While it smells bad, it's not going arming permeate your daughters or some I can't. But anyway, your baby's longest, so at least you got that going for you. Just just do, you know, do the best you can. And when they leave, bathe the baby because they're not going to.

00:29:12
Speaker 1: Cush the because they are good grandparents.

00:29:16
Speaker 2: They're good, they love your they've just unfortunately have a I.

00:29:18
Speaker 1: Think it grosses her out more than it does the baby doesn't know, and the baby's not being affected. Like you said, that's how they don't baby love.

00:29:26
Speaker 2: The smell of a baby's head raptors. So you know, I get it, Lulu. But here's the thing. Smoking is a terrible addiction.

00:29:35
Speaker 1: And it is I get it for a hundred years. Yeah, and they would, but it never smoked around the child or anything like that. So at least she's doing that, or both parents both smoke.

00:29:47
Speaker 2: At least is not going in the baby's long Yeah. Wow, these are some hard questions.

00:30:00
Speaker 1: It's making me sad, but it's game time.

00:30:02
Speaker 2: So all right, it is game time and we're not again. Yeah, I'm going to do moral quandary today. Susan please write in Kathy loves moral quandary. Let's bring it back, but today instead we're going to let our listeners get to know us.

00:30:19
Speaker 1: I think the listeners will be happy about.

00:30:24
Speaker 2: Just say, we're going to switch off reading each of the questions and we'll both give our answers. All right, are you ready?

00:30:30
Speaker 1: Yes?

00:30:31
Speaker 2: I am all right. When you were a kid, what was your dream job? Wow?

00:30:37
Speaker 1: Okay, I know mine and what I wanted to be a model and a flight attendant when I was young, and I did both.

00:30:44
Speaker 2: Actually, you know what I wanted to be when I was a kid. What a broadcast journalist I wanted to have? You know that when you were a little kid, you knew Yeah, I just always just really wanted to have that microphone in my hand and doing it.

00:31:00
Speaker 1: And you were made for it, Kathy, you really were Okay? What error slash time of your life do you remember fondly but you're glad you're past. An answer could be like college, it was really fun, but you're so glad that you're not stressed out nineteen year old anymore? Or grade school, middle school, high school? What error of your life do you remember fondly but you're okay? Ready past. I know what mine is.

00:31:36
Speaker 2: Walked and tell what mine is and then you can. I love being a mom, and I don't believe.

00:31:44
Speaker 1: You're studying this. Mine was parenting. Oh my gosh, we are like.

00:31:50
Speaker 2: I love raising gifts, but I now I don't like giving my grandchildren back. But it's not my respect, you know. It's a heavy and now I just get to give them cookies. That not really I don't.

00:32:03
Speaker 1: Do that, but I agree with that.

00:32:06
Speaker 2: Yes, although come on, Susan, you and I both are still parents to our children.

00:32:10
Speaker 1: You never always, but you know, in the back to school night and filling out the papers and all that the homework was done.

00:32:20
Speaker 2: And do you remember signing the homework, packing the lunches?

00:32:23
Speaker 1: Yes?

00:32:23
Speaker 2: Have you practiced your piano yet today? Have you done your map over? Did you do the corrections on your spelling test? Yeah?

00:32:31
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, okay, next one.

00:32:35
Speaker 2: What is something about you that has changed the most since your twenties?

00:32:42
Speaker 1: My attitude? My body, my attitude more.

00:32:49
Speaker 2: I was going to say my body, but tell me about your attitude.

00:32:52
Speaker 1: Oh, totally different attitude, although some of it is still quite the same. Though, well always thought I'm invincible. You know, it's I believe in the dream, and that part of the attitude is still the same. Yeah, I was more carefree, Nell, I'm more careful.

00:33:15
Speaker 2: Oh the hell you are.

00:33:18
Speaker 1: I was way worse than this.

00:33:19
Speaker 2: Oh, dear God, you're lucky you're alive and breathing. If this is you, if this is you? More controlled? Oh oh, I would. There's two things. My body because I was a lot bigger girl back in the day. But I also think I'm a lot more confident now than I was, even though I was married in my twenties. I got married, folks, when I ten days after I turned twenty, I walked down the aisle, So I was very young. I didn't feel young at the time. I chose well, but I was very young. So I just think I'm so.

00:33:56
Speaker 1: Much changes from your twenties. You mature. I mean that's your brain expands, you know, you learn How old were you when you got married? I was late a mid twenty seven? Twenty seven?

00:34:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean we're being honest.

00:34:15
Speaker 1: I don't remember everything, but the confidence part came later in life. Yeah, I always had some, but second guest everything you know, we.

00:34:26
Speaker 2: Don't second guess is we don't have time Susan, we have time to second guest, take it, go with it and run.

00:34:33
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, what's a hobby you've always wanted to try but never got into?

00:34:42
Speaker 2: A hobby?

00:34:43
Speaker 1: A hobby? Do you have hobbies? Yeah?

00:34:45
Speaker 2: I needle point.

00:34:47
Speaker 1: It's a hobby.

00:34:48
Speaker 2: You don't have a hobby. I don't know.

00:34:51
Speaker 1: Like a hobby is playing golf. That's a sport that I like to do.

00:34:54
Speaker 2: That's a hobby playing golf.

00:34:56
Speaker 1: But I did get into it, so what.

00:34:58
Speaker 2: Okay?

00:34:58
Speaker 1: When I think of a hobby, I think of people go into like ceramic classes, but I never want I just.

00:35:06
Speaker 2: Around the class ones. Oh my god, I couldn't believe when you put in the kilne it didn't come out anything looking like I did.

00:35:12
Speaker 1: I would want to make like this stuff I saw in Venice, you know, the glass not happening.

00:35:20
Speaker 2: I don't think it's called a hobby. But something I always wanted to do was really hoping. I hope the producers are listening from The Golden Bachelor. Do you know what I really wanted to do?

00:35:30
Speaker 1: What host the shows?

00:35:32
Speaker 2: Sky diving?

00:35:33
Speaker 1: I would love that. I really want That's not nice hobby either, Well it is if you do it.

00:35:38
Speaker 2: Regularly.

00:35:39
Speaker 1: Well, I guess it could be.

00:35:40
Speaker 2: I mean, why not, right, I think I'd be scared to death. But it's one of those things i'd love to do, conquer my fear and I do it in tandem. I would love to do it all right. Oh boy, who was your favorite band or artist when you were in high school?

00:35:57
Speaker 1: Did I have a favorite led Zeppelin? I was a rocker andles.

00:36:05
Speaker 2: Did you like the Beatles?

00:36:06
Speaker 1: Yeah? I like that. I liked all kinds.

00:36:08
Speaker 2: I liked Simon Garfunkel. I tended I didn't like the hard rock stuff.

00:36:12
Speaker 1: As much Pink Floyd led Zeppelin.

00:36:15
Speaker 2: Yes, you know who else? The brother the Moody Blues Blues. No, the Moody, Oh no, oh, dear Lord Susan the Moody, the Moody Blues. You remember them? Yes, great course I did.

00:36:30
Speaker 1: I was a big, big music person, though. I Were you like as a kid.

00:36:35
Speaker 2: Kathy, Well, let's start.

00:36:41
Speaker 1: Tell what do you remember that you were like?

00:36:43
Speaker 2: I remember I was a kid who was the last of five until my parents were divorced, and then I gained a nine year younger brother. You know, he was born nine years after I was uh around, and then I gained a stepsister. So I was kind of the kid vine for attention because I wasn't the oldest, I wasn't the prettiest, you know. I was just I was just trying to get someone to notice me.

00:37:10
Speaker 1: I was the oldest, the first of five.

00:37:13
Speaker 2: Oh you're the princess, and I was the first girl.

00:37:18
Speaker 1: And my grandmother had all brothers and then three sons. So I was the first grandchild and I was a girl. Need I say more?

00:37:27
Speaker 2: I was.

00:37:29
Speaker 1: Very active on a show for my family athletic.

00:37:34
Speaker 2: Were you athletic?

00:37:35
Speaker 1: I was a gymnast, yes, and a dancer, but I was I liked attention. I would make people laugh, even young. I put on little shows in my house.

00:37:46
Speaker 2: I forgot about that I was an athlete. I was always like. I played varsity tennis my sophomore year in high school, which nobody made varsity. I played. I was always in grade school. In middle school, I was a cheerleader, and I was picked one of the first girls to be picked, you know, for the kickball team or the softball I love.

00:38:07
Speaker 1: But in school I got good grades and I would fail conduct because I was They used to say to my mother, Susan likes to talk.

00:38:20
Speaker 2: I was. I was the class clown. I won most humorous, you know, the Halloween party funniest. Do you think I got good conduct grades?

00:38:30
Speaker 1: Uh?

00:38:30
Speaker 2: Huh, you don't know, because you like to talk.

00:38:33
Speaker 1: You like to tell people how to do it.

00:38:34
Speaker 2: Not not in school, honey, E for excellent. Oh I excuse me. My mother, my mother, my real mother, taking a board and whacked me. If i'd come home with that? Oh no, I was very I think that's why at home I was so chatty kathy school. Yeah, well, all right, God, who was someone that really inspired you when you were young?

00:39:00
Speaker 1: Inspired me?

00:39:03
Speaker 2: I mean this is you know what this sounds like? What it sounds like the question you get on a college I know who inspired me? Everyone always says the grandmother of the grandfather or the father of their mother, you.

00:39:14
Speaker 1: Know, my dad. But it wasn't inspired. I just listen. I think one of my mom's friends.

00:39:22
Speaker 2: Really. Yeah.

00:39:24
Speaker 1: I used to love how she dressed my aunt Chicky, my mother's sister, Like do you know what she had? Like a twelve inch waste her whole life? You know, you know cousin don well, her mom Chicky, Okay, and she inspired my cousin Chick. Oh yeah, you've told me that before. But I think she inspired me because she was a single parent. Number one, She worked, and she always dressed so cool like when she would come over, and I was very inspired by her.

00:39:55
Speaker 2: Interesting I think, aside from my grandparents and and my dad, I would have to say, it was a college counselor that I met when I was eight years old. I still talk to them. She made me believe in myself. She made me believe I could do anything. She taught me how to swim, She taught me about poetry, she taught me about books and reading.

00:40:22
Speaker 1: She just that's awesome.

00:40:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's a very cool one. Mary, you're listening.

00:40:28
Speaker 1: If you could go back to any age for one week, what age would it be? And why?

00:40:34
Speaker 2: Who cares it's only a week.

00:40:40
Speaker 1: I think it would be my late thirties, right hitting forty.

00:40:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what my week would be. I want to know why, but it just really hit me hard. I would go back to the week of my wedding and I would love to relive it and see, that's beautiful from the perspective I have now, Why why would you?

00:41:07
Speaker 1: Because I would have done something that I didn't do for twenty plus more years, not twenty.

00:41:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would, Well, I'm going to ask made a decision.

00:41:21
Speaker 1: I would have made a decision, a big decision in my life because at that age I knew I wasn't happy in my marriage, but I stayed for my children, which and I think things could have been different. So if I got to do it over again, that's the week I would change.

00:41:39
Speaker 2: I guess. Wow, yeah, well that's big. You know that takes a lot to admit that. Okay, what's a memory from your teens that still makes you laugh to this day.

00:41:55
Speaker 1: I was such an idiot? What did you do? It makes me? Oh, gosh, I made everybody live. But a memory for my teens, thinking I could get away with shit, Cathy, Like, I was forbidden near Billy Patterson and he had a big Harley and he was four years older than me, so at that I was a teenager. My mother was like, you are forbidden, and I would go out with him and sneak. Of course, he'd picked me up somewhere else and he would drop me off like across the street behind the houses, like that alleyway that we walked through, and I'd run through the little alley into my front door, like nobody knows. And he would come down my street and ram up the Harley, and my father and mother would just look at me, like, you, some stupid girl you were with him?

00:42:41
Speaker 2: No, I wasn't.

00:42:42
Speaker 1: No, I wasn't.

00:42:44
Speaker 2: So bachelor Nation, since it has a tendency to lie, we hope have grown. I don't know. I my teens were not my bestest time. I struggled a bit. I really can't. I mean, I love to laugh, and I did laugh a lot, but picking out one thing.

00:43:08
Speaker 1: I can name one hundred, well, I can name one.

00:43:11
Speaker 2: I can name one. I think I've told you this story before. My parents took us to the Bahamas and there were you know, you imagine there were five of us whatever, and my dad said, hey, let's sneak you into the casino. And remember miss little do write me was a dad. I was sixteen. I had a seventeen year old sister, an eighteen year old stepsister, and a nineteen year old sister. So the four of us were going into the casino. Do you know we all well, we weren't allowed. The age was eighteen, to be fair, it was not twenty oh no, uh no, I think it was eighteen anyway, guess who was the only one who didn't get thrown out? Yew uh huh. And I was doing this, I don't know. I had on a didn't see you, that's why. Oh no, I was plenty large.

00:44:00
Speaker 1: No.

00:44:00
Speaker 2: I think it was just that I, you know, acted like so stiff. I wasn't. I laughed after the fact, but I was very serious, like I have to pretend I'm old.

00:44:09
Speaker 1: Here one another good memory, and I was a teenager. We were I went to an all girls Catholic high school and we were cheerleaders for the all boys Catholic high school. We were going out for the homecoming queen and I was only a junior, and I remember having to stand on the stage and that they would question us, give us questions. And they said to me, how does the Catholic high school influence you? And I stood there dumb and I went, it keeps me away from the boys, well the nuns.

00:44:43
Speaker 2: Everybody went greats.

00:44:45
Speaker 1: I didn't know what to think, and not only that I was homecoming queen that year, first junior ever. Really, yes, I think that question.

00:44:53
Speaker 2: For she knows not what she says. There's no way in hell season that was.

00:44:59
Speaker 1: We can't make this shut up. Got I can't. I just can't, all right.

00:45:03
Speaker 2: Moving on, the next one is what's a fashion or beauty trend you fall in the past that you regret looking back. I've got that one so easily.

00:45:10
Speaker 1: Okay, what is it?

00:45:12
Speaker 2: My hair? You know, I've got this fluffy hair and it's really hard to control, right, I mean, it's straight flat. I know about your hair, I know, but when I was in the eighties, I thought it would be a really cute look to have perm.

00:45:26
Speaker 1: Oh everybody have perm.

00:45:28
Speaker 2: Oh no, but my perm with my fluffy hair, I look like Shirley Temple rolled out of bed on a bad hair.

00:45:34
Speaker 1: I used to give Dicky perms. That was an error.

00:45:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was such a bad look. And I look back on pictures now and my daughter said, you know, in the family album, my daughter says, what the hell were you thinking? I said, Caitlin, in twenty years, You're going to look back at your pictures and I'm going to say to you, what the hell were you thinking? That It's called time. But oh, it was a bad look.

00:45:57
Speaker 1: It was a bad look, all right. Culturally, what was your favorite decade that you lived through and why I like being a hippie. Loved being a hippie.

00:46:13
Speaker 2: Did you wear that?

00:46:14
Speaker 1: I didn't live through Woodstock? I mean I was too young to go, but that was like my favorite.

00:46:20
Speaker 2: Would your parents have let you go to Woodstock?

00:46:23
Speaker 1: No? Hell no, of course not.

00:46:24
Speaker 2: They would have lost. The Catholic girls were which the bottom of the church singing Row row row your boat with a bunch of girls roasting marshmallows.

00:46:36
Speaker 1: It was your favorite.

00:46:37
Speaker 2: Culturally got me the word culturally, I would have to say the decade, probably in my twenties, believe it or not, because I lived in when I was first married. I lived in Scotland for two years and I loved trying the food and meeting the people and just all the you know, driving on the wrong side of the street, all the things I learned about living in a foreign country. And then later in my twenties, we moved back to Boston so my husband could go to graduate school, and I was close to You.

00:47:11
Speaker 1: Were awfully young to do all that travel. That's pretty cool.

00:47:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It was fun and we got to travel to the continent when we lived in Scotland. But then we moved back to Boston. I loved all the museums and the you know, just just the city life of Boston was kind of cool. I got to do a lot of things. Even though it's up in Boston. I didn't go into the city that much. I grew up in the suburbs. Yes, so that was I don't know, that's what I think cool.

00:47:37
Speaker 1: All right. What's something that exists today that you wish you had as a teenager? For example, Netflix, cell phones? What's something I wish we had computers? Because they had Encyclopedia would drive me crazy when I had to look up stuff. You know what.

00:47:58
Speaker 2: I didn't know how I was going to answer for that, but because I'm sort of with you, all the technology that we have, but I think my favorite well, you know, I can't live without my phone, so that's a given. But I you know what, outside I love to read, as you know, and I used to walk around with books, like heavy books because I you know, if I had ten minutes spare, I would sit and read. So my Kindle, my reading.

00:48:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.

00:48:24
Speaker 2: It just popped in my person. I can I read. But all technology would be tough. And of course, you know, I grew up with black I'm not kidding. We got color TV.

00:48:33
Speaker 1: I don't know how old I remember when the color TV came. We had black and white for a while.

00:48:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, So, I mean, just think about how far we've come.

00:48:41
Speaker 1: What's one thing about you, Kathy that's never changed and reminds you of your younger self.

00:48:48
Speaker 2: Easy, my sense of humor, my sense of humor.

00:48:52
Speaker 1: My gift of gab, my silliness. Yeah, always my talk.

00:48:56
Speaker 2: My my propensity to talk all the time. But also just laughing and making other people laugh.

00:49:03
Speaker 1: Well, I hope everybody did get to know a little bit more about us. Do you think we shared enough with them? They know I'm a class clown, You're funny.

00:49:10
Speaker 2: I mean, if you want, if you want more information about it, don't do a firm. Don't do not do a firm write in, And if there's other things you want to know about us, go to bachelornation dot com slash ask us right your questions right.

00:49:26
Speaker 1: And we'll answer them honestly, even if it's embarrassing, we'll definitely ask I answer them.

00:49:32
Speaker 2: All right. Well, now that you know everything about us, that is going to do it for this episode of Happy Hour. Thanks so much for joining us.

00:49:39
Speaker 1: And listen to Bachelor, Happy Hours, Golden Hour, that's Us on the iHeartRadio, or wherever you listen to your podcast. Thanks for listening, guys, and I hope you enjoy this.

00:49:49
Speaker 2: As much as we do. Have a great week, everybody,