Hakeem’s Self-Love Journey | Golden Hour

00:00:02
Speaker 1: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen that Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks so much for joining us again and we're so excited to be back hun Kathy.

00:00:11
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00:00:23
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00:00:24
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00:00:34
Speaker 2: Also, make sure to check out all of our past episodes. We have been having so much fun answering your questions, audition out advice, so keep them coming at bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour.

00:00:47
Speaker 1: So today we have a very special guest joining us. But before we bring him in, Kathy, we have to talk about the new Bachelorette.

00:00:58
Speaker 2: Holy smokes, Taylor, Frankie Paul. Let's talk.

00:01:02
Speaker 1: Well, first of all, I wish I was warmon now, I mean really they're getting everything.

00:01:07
Speaker 2: Well, there is that. Yeah, she's going to be on like two Mormon shows and this show all at once. That's but okay, wait I have to say, I know there are people that are going to be like what, because you know, Bachelor has traditionally plucked men and women from ob security.

00:01:23
Speaker 1: Yes, and I like.

00:01:26
Speaker 2: Us and put them on. But you know what, I think, because of the nature of reality TV now and the number of dating shows, Bachelor is smart. They decided to completely go a different direction, pulling this this young woman who has kids, who's been divorced, who's at thirty one, has already lived a really rich, varied life, and she's going to bring with her her million plus followers. People are going to be invested in her and tuned in.

00:01:56
Speaker 1: That's what I And she's on her other reality show. People do watch that, so they'll come.

00:02:02
Speaker 2: Over, right, That's what I'm saying, just.

00:02:05
Speaker 1: As well Bachelor will go over.

00:02:08
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think I think it's a bold move y franchise, but I think it's a great move I think I think change is good. I think sometimes people fight change, and you know, they people say we want change, we want change, and then you give them change, They're like, we want to go back to you know, but I am I obviously don't know her.

00:02:29
Speaker 1: She's obviously adorable. Oh yeah, young, beautiful and the men coming on. When you have young children, it's a whole different ballgame when you're dating somebody with a child. Maybe they've reached out to men that age that might have children as well.

00:02:48
Speaker 2: I don't know, right, but that's what I'm saying. There's going to be so many facets of this show. I think that are going to be something Bachelor has never done, and I think people are going to tune in in a big way to see how. I can't wait personally hope that. I mean, I couldn't have mel so maybe maybe I could get invested in Taylor and see how her life goes.

00:03:13
Speaker 1: Oh, I just hope we get to meet her live and in person.

00:03:16
Speaker 2: Yes, Okay, well we'll see what happens.

00:03:20
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, now it's time to get into today's episode. So let's bring in our guests. Everyone, please, Welcome from Bachelor in Paradise and gen season of The Bachelorette. Hackem, Hi hackm, my little tweetheart, Welcome back to Golden Hour.

00:03:40
Speaker 4: Hi.

00:03:40
Speaker 1: What so excited to see you?

00:03:46
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, of the love fest begins.

00:03:49
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I warned I wasn't on Paradise, but you would not have gone home so soon. There would have been.

00:03:55
Speaker 3: Rumors it would have been the rumors would have been affected me, you and Susan. I'm gonna tell you that right now.

00:04:03
Speaker 1: We have chemistry like no other.

00:04:05
Speaker 2: I just want to point out that Susan is in a monogamous relationship. I was in Paradise dying to meet you, and when you heard I was coming, you went home. That's what happened.

00:04:16
Speaker 3: I heard it. Damn you thought it was my choice.

00:04:21
Speaker 2: How was your experience, I want to hear tell.

00:04:23
Speaker 1: Us about it.

00:04:25
Speaker 3: My experience was short, but it was phenomenal.

00:04:28
Speaker 1: Honestly, I got at it a long time, right to get you were one of the first ones.

00:04:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was. It was one of the first of you know, And so I got my mind right, got my body right. You know. I was trying my best, and I you know, I was actually really nervous coming into it as well. I really really nervous, But like I was like, I'm gonna be one hundred percent myself. They're gonna love me. They're gonna love me. If they don't like me, they don't like me in a sense. So like I went in and did the best that I could was.

00:04:53
Speaker 2: It what you expected? Hockey? Was it when you got there? Was it what you expected?

00:04:58
Speaker 3: Or in what kind? And what you feel like?

00:05:00
Speaker 2: I don't know who was on the beach, what you thought you were going to get when you got Obviously you didn't think you'd go home so soon? But what now?

00:05:08
Speaker 3: You know? Everybody wants the love story. I wanted the love story. I wanted to be able to get on one knee and propose to somebody. So that was always the expectation, always kind of put you know, I'm always there.

00:05:18
Speaker 2: I was there waiting for you. I came you just God waits with me.

00:05:24
Speaker 3: Don't play on my heart, don't play if loud to you? Right now?

00:05:29
Speaker 2: Who did you want to stay on the beach sit besides me?

00:05:31
Speaker 1: For somebody to be there? And they weren't.

00:05:34
Speaker 3: I mean, they were absolutely on the beach. But she's she uh, she's in a relationship. Who is she, Parisa, She's in a very happy relationship. So, like, I was so excited to meet her, and literally twenty four hours afterwards, she's on the beach, you know, So that was a dagger. I at least wanted my shot to try to just say hi and tell her how much I enjoy her energy and how much I think she would be great as a girlfriend. Obviously not right away being her girlfriend, but I just she brings a lot to the table. So again, like, yeah, she's amazing.

00:06:02
Speaker 1: I don't know, had the opportunity to tell her, did you ever say anything?

00:06:06
Speaker 2: She wasn't there.

00:06:07
Speaker 1: I know, I'm outside of the show.

00:06:10
Speaker 3: Outside of the show now because before I saw her at STK Steakhouse for a grants ending of his season, but I never chatted with her. I actually wanted to keep it very platonic. I mean, I waved at her, and she saw that I saw her, and so forth, but I wanted to keep it very platonic before paradise, you know, and so forth, so it doesn't seem like I was trying to get to know her beforehand and all that so forth. But yeah, I never got to shoot my shot. All good though, It's not, like I said, like, everything happens for a reason, and hopefully she's extremely happy with whatever she's doing, because that's all that matters. But my woman's out there.

00:06:44
Speaker 1: Were you surprised about the five hundred thousand dollars.

00:06:50
Speaker 2: He didn't know when he was there?

00:06:53
Speaker 3: Correct? Yeah, the five hundred thousand dollars, I had mixed emotions. To be honest, I was super excited for him because that's a lot of money, a lot of when I got student loans that I got to pay off, and you know, I would be very, very happy. But I feel like it just changed the meaning of the show though a little bitter. People started to be strategic, and I'm like, what the hell are we being strategic on a love show for We're trying to get married, you know what I mean?

00:07:15
Speaker 2: Hold on came, which would you have chosen? Then? Would you if you had stayed around and you have coupled up with someone, would you have chosen the money or love? And if you couldn't choose both?

00:07:27
Speaker 3: Oh, you couldn't choose.

00:07:28
Speaker 2: I don't know you can. I don't know what I'm saying.

00:07:30
Speaker 3: No, no, no. For sure, to be honest with you, if I'm going down to the end and I'm getting down on one knee or pick the money, I'm gonna be honest, I'm probably gonna get down on one knee. Here's the reason why is because like, you can always earn five hundred thousand dollars, and I put myself in a situation. I'm going to put myself in my brain to say that I'm going to make that much money in the future, and I can do that, but I'm not going to sacrifice something that might be once in a lifetime.

00:07:57
Speaker 1: That's not the way I got to expect that.

00:08:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, but.

00:08:03
Speaker 1: Money, Wait, my brain goes here. Okay, if you guys are a couple and you speak about it, we're gonna say I'm choosing the money on TV and I'll see you afterwards. Do you think something like that could happen?

00:08:19
Speaker 3: How they got cameras on us everywhere inside our rooms outside? You can't. You can't just be like a you know, like.

00:08:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, but how came they can't when you go home? If you choose the money, they can't stop you from calling up, you know. I mean, I don't know what the rules are, but you.

00:08:38
Speaker 1: Know, maybe the rule says if you hook up with that person when you leave, then you have to pay back.

00:08:44
Speaker 2: Wow.

00:08:45
Speaker 3: I don't know, but I wanted that money too. But if it came down to the end, like you know, just had to pick, Like I didn't know you had to pick love or the money?

00:08:56
Speaker 2: Wait, is that what you have to do? I could get because that's what you said.

00:09:02
Speaker 3: You made it to the finale? How the hell you confused?

00:09:05
Speaker 2: Because I I, what do you mean? Because I I wasn't there for the very end.

00:09:12
Speaker 1: They planted a seed last week for the coming attractions of this sweet coming next week. It's saying, maybe it's the money, maybe it's for love. I don't know to make a decision.

00:09:24
Speaker 2: I believe, I believe you can have both. But wait, I want to know, because you know, Mondy, it's boring talking about money. Yeah, I want to know what you thought. I know you didn't get to meet us, But what did you think about Golden's being on the show?

00:09:41
Speaker 3: He does you the Goldens as a whole? Yeah?

00:09:46
Speaker 2: Well really, let's make it all about me.

00:09:48
Speaker 3: What did you think about let me let me let me say this one more time, as a young bluck buck that was on the Bachelor in Paradise. Without the Golden we wouldn't have the viewership, We wouldn't know. You held it down. Specifically, you you needed you were You started a whole trend like yo, I need some tequila, yo, and let me get a bottle of one, Like you started a whole trend. We was born as fuck, I'm sorry, I'm gonna bets. I'm just gonna be honest with you. You guys held it down. There were stories for days that were true and honest stories. Yeah, you had Gary, you had Leslie finance, you had Kathy up there with Keith, you had Kim, you had April out there cougar hunting. They you guys brought a You guys, your energy unmatched, And that's my biggest Obviously, I wanted to meet Parisa too, because she's beautiful.

00:10:41
Speaker 2: She is, and no, she's as sweet and kind and smart as she is beautiful, and I think she's really that.

00:10:47
Speaker 3: But with when it comes down to you guys, I really was so excited for seeing you guys, and I never got to see you guys. And that literally hurts so much because when I was watching one, obviously watch it back when you guys came through and everyone's having so much fun.

00:11:03
Speaker 1: You guys were so lit, I was jealous.

00:11:08
Speaker 3: You know what.

00:11:08
Speaker 2: That's God, we came, we came down fun. That's the difference in our ages.

00:11:13
Speaker 3: We came. Guys all killed it and crushed it. And you looked fire to Kathy. Let me tell you that you look fire out there.

00:11:23
Speaker 2: Keep talking, keep talking. I love it.

00:11:25
Speaker 3: I wait, tell you, I love it.

00:11:29
Speaker 2: Would you do Paradise again? Because you didn't?

00:11:32
Speaker 3: Yill no, hell no.

00:11:34
Speaker 1: So wait I read somewhere that you crawled back into your shell after filming. Is there any truth to that?

00:11:40
Speaker 3: And why all back into my shell when it came?

00:11:43
Speaker 1: What does that mean?

00:11:45
Speaker 3: If I'm going to go on a show, I wanted to be very intentional. I feel like in this, like now that I know like this five hundred thousand dollars involved with it, it just changes the whole thing because you're going to go into it like damn, I want the money too. Like going into there, I was going in and I'm thinking like, oh, they're gonna bring you know, we're gonna bring all these girls because you know we talked beforehand. They're gonna bring in like all these girls that we talked about. So then I can really build a connection. But then at the end of the day, you forget it's a TV show too, and they're doing their job by making great TV. And yeah, I'm thirty one now I'm trying to find love. I would go on a TV show, maybe like a competition game show or something that's very intentional to find that person, their person specifically, that's their So why.

00:12:27
Speaker 2: Would you want paradise again?

00:12:33
Speaker 3: I mean, Kathy, come on now, I'm not I like Kathy. Come on now, what you just on the Kathy like?

00:12:39
Speaker 1: Come on, Kathy got to stay, so it's a different experience.

00:12:42
Speaker 3: You stay for what the five hundred thousand and then she.

00:12:50
Speaker 2: Wait a second, I got to clear my name. Keith and I said, and I think that's why the young ones liked us so much, because we gave advice and we were friendly and I love I love all y'all. But Keith and I had said, and we meant it, we are not taking money out of young's hands, I said on last week's episode. Oh no, we had told them, and we said on the odisode we said, well, it's not that, It's just that at our age, relationships with people is more valuable to us than putting money more money in the bank. And you guys, you have college loans to pay off. That's what I said about Alex. She has college loans to pay off. You guys want to buy your first house and that could be a real big jump start. So Keith and I were not taking money out of young kid's hands. It's not why I stayed, That's not why Keith stayed. So now I'm.

00:13:46
Speaker 1: Came quickly and left. You were there really quick, And look, that has to be a lot because you prepare and you can't wait to get there and have this experience and then within this a second it's over.

00:13:59
Speaker 3: I think the host point part was truthfully, that they announced me that early and then like, none of the girls that I was expecting to be there was there.

00:14:07
Speaker 2: Who else? How am I going to do?

00:14:12
Speaker 1: Now?

00:14:13
Speaker 2: Who else were you expecting?

00:14:16
Speaker 3: I was hoping Parisa, I was hoping Jojo was gonna be there. She's with Sam m kinney. We love that she's Sam McKinnie and all that. Let's see who else? Who else? Who was? Honestly, I was really looking forward to getting to know those two girls, and whoever came came. Also Olivia Lewis I mentioned her way beforehand too, after our mentell awe and all that good stuff. But yeah, I mean, I'm not a person that's going to force it. You know, I did it. I loved it. Bachelorette was amazing and all that.

00:14:52
Speaker 2: Well, wait a minute, do you believe you can find love in Paradise.

00:14:56
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you see grocery Store Joe. And uh.

00:15:00
Speaker 2: So I'm saying, and so I'm asking you why if you believe in love, you want to find love, why wouldn't you do Paradise Again.

00:15:07
Speaker 3: Well, grocery Store Joe didn't have to choose between five hundred thousand dollars and love, you know, So that was a whole different dynamic than so, like I can take a girl down all the way to the final and then she can say I actually want the money, So you kind of just fire. You're playing with fire at this point because now people are going to go on the show for money too. So like that's why I wouldn't want to do it, because I know I'm an impath and I know I'm going to be hurt and like for me, like yeah, like that's gonna Yeah. I've been heartbroken before and it's taken me a long time, and especially if I'm going to be engaged with somebody, I don't I have never felt that type of heartbreak before, and I empathize for all the men and women who have, But like, I can never put myself in a situation that you know, I.

00:15:52
Speaker 2: Can I get solve this for you? What's I can solve this? You go on Paradise again, if they ask you, you find the girl, you fall in love. If you don't win the money and she wants some money, Susan will just send her a check for five hundred k. You get the money, You get the money.

00:16:09
Speaker 1: Is this new for every Paradise They're gonna know money?

00:16:14
Speaker 2: Who knows. I don't know.

00:16:15
Speaker 1: It might be something they just tried once.

00:16:17
Speaker 3: Who knows.

00:16:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, what did you think about the new way the show was narrated and the way they did things now?

00:16:24
Speaker 3: I mean I'm not hating or nothing like that. I just think personally for her team, I don't think I can make that. I don't know if I'll be able to be that vulnerable that I would have to trust that someone's gonna pick me over five hundred thousand, Because I know myself right, if I find somebody that's gonna marry me, who's gonna have my children, all those things, I'm going to do whatever I can, I'm gonna die of headfirst in that. And I can't have the same expectation that someone's gonna have the same type of mindset. And that's why I would rather I mean, if I.

00:16:55
Speaker 1: Have to have trust, oh yeah.

00:16:58
Speaker 3: For sure chances, But how normal is it that somebody has to choose five hundred K over you. It's not a normal situation that you're gonna see every day. So like that's the ultimate test, right, But like yeah, so like for me, I would I don't. I don't blame anybody who would want to take five hundred K. But I don't want it to be at the expense of my heart.

00:17:18
Speaker 1: To break somebody's heart. I hope it doesn't happen.

00:17:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, but it's it's it can happen.

00:17:24
Speaker 1: Talk about hate mail?

00:17:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, so wait, are you dating? Anyone came now?

00:17:29
Speaker 3: Well, I'm looking forward to dating. I'm still not, But I mean i'm dating, I'm trying. I'm like, I'm looking around, I'm chatting, I'm not actively searching. I'm just focusing on myself because if I'm not one hundred percent in tip top shape, then how am I gonna be able to take care of my lady?

00:17:48
Speaker 2: What kind of shape? What are you talking about? Mental shape? What kind of shape are we have?

00:17:51
Speaker 3: Emotionally? I think I have to do better with my emotional regulation. I think that's my last Like hurdle that like I need to learn how to just let things go and not you know, you don't have to say stuff, you know, And I feel like with that, I feel like there's a lot of things with me because I'm a very in emotional dude. I wear my heart on my sleeve and all those twins we've said this people my language, no for sure, So like I just don't take care of myself in relationships. I make sure to take care of my partner in tenfold, and then I don't have anything for me. So I got to love myself. I don't think I say I love myself. I say I'm confident. Yeah I think I'm a good looking dude, But like, do I truly love myself? How much that I love other people? Because I love other people because I seek that validation that they need me, they want me, they love me too, instead of just saying I'm going to do this because I love them. Done.

00:18:47
Speaker 1: Because if you're able to say what you just said and you realize this, you're almost now tell me about this model.

00:18:57
Speaker 2: Thing, my model modeling modeling mode.

00:19:04
Speaker 1: Right away, A model.

00:19:07
Speaker 2: With a model.

00:19:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, I walked at San Diego Swim Week. As you probably I saw that thing that you were.

00:19:18
Speaker 2: It was bizarre.

00:19:19
Speaker 3: It was I mean, I would say it was different, different, different. I wouldn't wear it. Probably none of that's because I'm not I don't got the swag like that.

00:19:29
Speaker 1: To be How did you feel? How did you feel?

00:19:31
Speaker 3: It was liberating because they had me there and they were like the queen, just be yourself because I knew going into this, I'm like, guys, I'm not sure you know your your average you know, runway model. That's like you know all that, you know me be me. I was out there in the kwan, I was everybody was enjoying it, but I can tell like the modeling coordinator was like a little bit embarrassed, was like, oh my god. But dude, the designers, the audience, they were lazy.

00:20:05
Speaker 2: How did that come about? How did they reach out to you? How did that come about?

00:20:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, they reached out to me as an ambassador, and I was like, you know what, you'll need somebody that can walk. And then they're like you know what, yeah, we got you, we got you. So then they pulled the little strings got me in there. Aaron Bryant was there too, Brandon Jones as well from brand Jolnes from Michelle season. So yeah, it was, it was. It was a great opportunity. I'm going to be doing another one for charity as well, so I'm excited for that, you know. Fun.

00:20:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what, put it out there, maybe misright or come and you know, just check you out.

00:20:41
Speaker 3: Nah, you don't want to do that. I wanted to be so organic that I'm like just taken by surprise, like yo, like where did you come from? Like you know what I mean, Like where have you been? Because I throw it out there, he's gonna be here and all that. Like, first of all, I'm a nobody, like.

00:20:57
Speaker 1: Never never, never, never never.

00:21:00
Speaker 3: I'm not Michael is Susan. What I'm saying though, is is that like in situations like this, I want to just run into my woman without it having to be tried. Like I don't want to have to feel like I'm trying to find her because every person that I've talked with that's in a happy relationship happens when you're not looking amen every single time you're not looking for it, and then it just happens. So I'm trusting that I'm gonna just keep doing my thing. I'm gonna work on myself. I'm going to try to put good into the world and then she will hopefully all right, so I mean, bless me.

00:21:37
Speaker 2: All right, So what what do you what are you thinking for the rest of this world? What do you the rest of yeah, the rest of the world, the rest of this year. What are you manifesting for yourself? What? Obviously Miswright's gonna compound your door down, your front door down, But what else?

00:21:52
Speaker 1: My tip in.

00:22:01
Speaker 3: What else do I have? But I'm walking in another show. I'm also going to be going to Vegas for this an event. I'm gonna go with Brandon. Brandon's the man Brandon from Michelle Sas and Brandon Jones, Like he's kind of became like one of my close friends, Like when I'm very close and he's just hooking me up because you know, because he's Brandon Jones. So I'm just you know, I'm just there, just you know, having fun there for that event.

00:22:30
Speaker 1: So I want to see the event in Vegas.

00:22:33
Speaker 3: It's called Rise. I think okay, it's called Rise. I'm not sure, if you know. I'm I really don't be outside like that. I'm really in the crib watching TV. So like if I get if I get invited some fuck it. You want me to go to Vegas? Fuck it, I'll do it.

00:22:47
Speaker 2: Just remember what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Hockey.

00:22:50
Speaker 3: No, yeah, girl, all right, we gotta move.

00:22:56
Speaker 2: We are going to move into our topic of the day because you were.

00:22:59
Speaker 3: I have one more things. I'm get here. Transplant. I'm dead ass, I'm getting it. I'm going to Turkey and I'm getting in here.

00:23:08
Speaker 1: Trs just got back from Turkey.

00:23:10
Speaker 3: What Circe is?

00:23:13
Speaker 2: What we invited you? But you didn't answer the call when we called somebody to leave it out here?

00:23:20
Speaker 3: You didn't. You don't have my digits, you know you really?

00:23:24
Speaker 2: I can get your digits, trust me.

00:23:26
Speaker 3: Won't you? I ain't even do something with it then.

00:23:28
Speaker 1: So you're gonna do it?

00:23:29
Speaker 2: Yes?

00:23:31
Speaker 3: Do what?

00:23:32
Speaker 2: The hair transplant?

00:23:33
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you're gonna see me. I'm a fresh cut. I'm gonna have a forehead like it's so smart. My forehead is about five in the bitches, I got a five head. So when I'm gonna have that line to go down had my line is so Chris, nobody's gonna be able to say.

00:23:46
Speaker 1: No, okay, why Turkey? A couple of my clients did it. One just supposed to be and he did it in Florida's supposed to be the place for uh, it didn't.

00:23:59
Speaker 3: He got money money. He's doing it in Florida. You're doing it in the States. He got money money. All right.

00:24:06
Speaker 1: Well, if you need a nurse to take care of you afterward, Kathy and I we know all about this. Themble.

00:24:12
Speaker 3: Oh shit, I think I might take care of me right now.

00:24:16
Speaker 2: Keep literally keep your shirt eye. All right, we are moving into our topic of the day before this degenerates any further. All Right, Hockey, what do you find to be more romantic Grant? I already know the answer this, but I'm gonna ask you anyway. Grand gestures are small everyday things?

00:24:33
Speaker 3: And why small everyday gestures or grand gestures? Which no, every day small gesture not grand gestures. Yes, so I don't think I don't need all the grand stuff and all that. I want you to do things to let me know that you're thinking about me. It doesn't have to be you're taking me to Nobuo to get some sushi, like if you're just making my life easier. If I got to go to work and you see, I'm in the shower and my clothes aren't you know, my clothes are crinkled, and you're like, hey, let me take care of this real quick for you, or let me start a coffee for you real quick. That makes me think that, oh yeah, she cares about my well being and like how I am feeling at this moment, not just trying to get this grand gesture to be like oh wow, you did such a great thing like blah blah blah blah. But she's actually that world.

00:25:18
Speaker 1: I just love language, so you speak. Remember we talked about love languages.

00:25:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's exactly. We're all the same. I would much rather have a small gesture and for exactly the same reason I came. Just they're thinking about me, They care about my welfare. Just that small thing of turning on the coffee they care.

00:25:38
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, are you coffee?

00:25:40
Speaker 1: Bringing the calling to me is caring.

00:25:43
Speaker 3: Bringing the coffee. You're right, that is such.

00:25:45
Speaker 1: A delight when that happens. It's not but sure, over the times that I've been out and when someone does that, it's like, oh my god, that's I do it for people all the time.

00:25:57
Speaker 3: Does your man do it for you right now?

00:25:59
Speaker 1: Well? He does live in the States.

00:26:01
Speaker 3: So where does part of me? Where does he live?

00:26:05
Speaker 1: He lives in Saint Martin.

00:26:08
Speaker 2: Saint Martin, French, West Indies. Oh oh Caribbean.

00:26:15
Speaker 1: Ye never Actually, I always get up first.

00:26:19
Speaker 3: So yeah, hold on, you're dating a brother he Caribbean.

00:26:25
Speaker 2: I was like, hold on, he's he's from French, from France, there's Saint Martin has two sides, a Dutch side and the French side.

00:26:33
Speaker 3: Oh okay, okay, that's interesting.

00:26:36
Speaker 1: But I love your love language and Kathy, you you like the small gestures too. For me, it's about attention and physical touch, like when I'm in the room and you just you know, touch me. I'm a touchy person too, and everybody like I want all four of the love languages.

00:26:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what.

00:26:55
Speaker 1: A long time to learn that my partner didn't necessarily have the same love language as I did. And I never knew that. I always assumed what I like, I would do for them, but that's not their love language, you know. It took me a long time.

00:27:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, for sure. It's taken a lot of failed relationships for myself to realize that even my communication style isn't the way other people want to be communicated to as well. So yeah, now totally for sure with that, Kathy, what is your thoughts You're are you a physical touch person? You like to marry so I'm sleep Oh, go ahead.

00:27:33
Speaker 1: Some people like gifts, you know, I buy gifts, but I don't necessarily need the gifts.

00:27:39
Speaker 2: I just need I'm the same I I My thing is, I like I like the small gestures. I mean, you want to bring me a Porsche, I'm not going to turn it down, but you know that's not my goal. But yeah, just the and I'm very much honestly, It's gotten into trouble sometimes with men who I'm not I'm a touchy person, but yeah, they misread that.

00:28:01
Speaker 3: No, I get it. I totally understand that if someone is just laying down right, I wake up in the middle of night and I just need to touch you, just to Yeah, I don't know. How do you feel about that? Is that weird?

00:28:13
Speaker 1: Do you feel like because you know they're they're wanting to be there?

00:28:17
Speaker 2: You know, we had a question earlier I came about on another podcast about sleeping in separate bets. I was like, no, I like to put my cold feet on your back and stay y has sleep apnea.

00:28:29
Speaker 1: I got my own room.

00:28:30
Speaker 4: I'm sorry you ain't ship you age ship.

00:28:48
Speaker 3: No, you are.

00:28:53
Speaker 2: The Susan. They've come a long way. They now have little things. They implanted your skin.

00:29:00
Speaker 1: Everybody could get.

00:29:08
Speaker 2: All right again. We're gonna move on here to our advice ports. You're gonna give some advice. I came already. All right, We're gonna ask a question and you're just gonna tell us what you think. All right, here we go. This question is from Zach. He's twenty eight from Shorthills, New Jersey. Hi, Kathy and Susan. My mom listens to your podcast and she is also having trouble helping me with this situation, so she told me to write in. I've been dating my girlfriend for about five months now, and this is actually my first real relationship. Overall, I'm really happy and honestly just excited to have found someone I connect with. The only problem is my best friend, who also happens to be my roommate, doesn't like her. He's constantly pushing for quote guys' nights where she isn't invited, and he makes me feel guilty if I choose to spend time with her or have her sleepover. When I asked him why he feels this way, he told me he thinks she has quote controlling vibes and that she's not the right person for me. This has been tough because he and I have been close and through her little kids, and I really value his opinion. At the same time, I care about my girlfriend and just want him to be happy for me. I'm stuck between wanting to honor a lifelong friendship and also wanting to explore this new relationship. How do I balance both without losing one or the other?

00:30:31
Speaker 3: How old does he say? He's twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty eight? He a grown ass man talking about he wanted him to come over boys and night. If he's trying to get to know a woman and you're telling him he's in t shit, feel guilty because he's spending time, he's tripping, his friend is tripping. If that's really, I'll be damn facts. I'll be damn if one of my homies is like, man, you know you gotta, you know, you gotta, You've gotta make time for us, you know. And I think she's super controlling, Like I know what I'm getting myself into as well, Right, I can stand on business and so forth and so forth. I don't need another person tell him that. Yo, Like, we don't want you dating this person. So Zach, you need to just go follow through with this, you know what I mean? So like, in this whole situation, you're not in the wrong. There's nothing for you to balance. I think the only thing that needs to balance something is your homie. He needs to balance the fact that he needs to know that his friend is still his friend, but he's exploring a connection, so you better does he say it?

00:31:24
Speaker 2: But Hakem, does he come out and say it to his friend? Because remember this is Zach's first real relationship, so he's probably, you know, a little unnerved by the whole thing, and he doesn't want to lose his childhood friend. And he's probably I mean, you know, you're a man about the world, you've been out about, but this guy is never dated. This is first relationship. He doesn't want to so what's gonna I'm gonna keep him both.

00:31:46
Speaker 1: He adds something to that before you answered, Hakim, and I agree with what you said, but I try to keep an open mind. What if because it is his first real relationship, he's got his blinders on and he's gonna lun the hard way answer and her and his roommate sees it like it could be.

00:32:05
Speaker 2: It could be, but he's gonna learn. He's got to learn his own lessons own.

00:32:09
Speaker 1: I think the roommate's jealous. He's gonna lose a roommate.

00:32:13
Speaker 3: I truly just think that in that situation he just is jealous one or be just bored because some of the time that he was getting with Zach is now being in a woman that he doesn't like as well. And truthfully, it's no one's business if she if he has his blinders on or not. In my point of view, I think in the in this grand scheme of everything, if he's happy in that relationship and that is your best friend from childhood, you want to him to augment his his happiness. So and she's doing that, Like, why would you be upset with that? And if that person stops being your friend, that wasn't your friend.

00:32:51
Speaker 2: Okay, but I'm gonna I gotta ask you. I know not I totally agree with you, But what you're not saying is how does he handle the situation? Does he goes to his friend and says, hey, homide fill in the blank. What does he.

00:33:05
Speaker 1: Say out, stay in your laying, biting bitch.

00:33:13
Speaker 2: She's talking to his roommate.

00:33:14
Speaker 5: What is wrong in the big Honestly, if it comes down to it, he should just say to him like, hey, like, I know you're feeling some type of way about this whole situation.

00:33:25
Speaker 3: I mean' not a big fan of my current girlfriend, but hey, this is my first relationship ever and I'm feeling great in this relationship. And I know you're not a big fan of her, but right now, unfortunately, like I feel like I want to keep progressing things and I want you to be a part of that. So like for me exactly there in space. I love it.

00:33:45
Speaker 1: I hope you heard us.

00:33:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, And if listen and hockey, if bobeling doesn't work out or whatever else you're doing, you could become a therapist for young stupid boys.

00:33:55
Speaker 3: That's hilarious. Therapist, Like I could see a coach. I could be a coach and like, yeah, just a life coach. And just like worried about things that actually matter. I think we worry about things that don't matter so much more than you know, the small stuff.

00:34:13
Speaker 2: All right, Hockey, we we've asked you a lot of questions. Do you have anything you want to ask us? You know, we know you better. Do you want to know? What do you want to know? Open the floor? What do you what do you know?

00:34:22
Speaker 3: Are you doing right now? Kathy? What's going on?

00:34:24
Speaker 2: Oh? Just stab me? Just stab me? Stab me?

00:34:28
Speaker 1: You asked me, she makes friends.

00:34:32
Speaker 2: I would love to be dating, but I'm not. But you know, someone, Kathy, you are fine.

00:34:39
Speaker 3: Don't don't do that. Don't make itsull. You know somebody, there's men out there that they see you and they're like, damn, she's tough, like they want to talk to her so like.

00:34:47
Speaker 1: Hockey they do, and it just so happens that that's not her person, right Kathy, there's somebody trying to get her right now and.

00:34:56
Speaker 3: Right now no listening to your podcast.

00:35:00
Speaker 2: Oh listen. He's a nice guy. He and I are on separate politically. We're not aligned. There's no huh. The man, the guy that's and that would like to date me, we are not politically aligned.

00:35:13
Speaker 3: We're not.

00:35:13
Speaker 2: We don't like to do the same things. I mean, you know, he said to me, you're beautiful, I want to date you. Well there's you know, thank you but you know so, no, I would love I don't. I don't have a spark for him. I would love I have a friend spark for him. I would love to find someone to date, but it's not as easy I came. Here's the thing. Women reach out to men from Golden Bachelor and and Golden Bachelor. At the men get reached out to because women are on social media. Guys in their sixties, they are not on social media for the most part, and they don't know how to. They don't have Yeah, so I got a problem. So if you can solve that for me, I'd be, I'd be I'd be I'd be.

00:35:57
Speaker 3: Very greats for you. I can absolutely do that. Be the middle man for you. That's gonna be easy, money easy. So you have non negotiables, clearly we see here. What else are your other non negotiables for you that you're.

00:36:08
Speaker 2: Like, I actually have very few non negotiables. I want I want a guy that will travel with me. I want a guy that will make me laugh. You know, everyone says you're I'm so funny, and I make them laugh. I want someone that makes me laugh. I want to have fun with someone. I would you know, he's got to understand that I'm not a great cook. Like I'm not going to sit there and not a great cook. I can cook, I can't cook. I don't I don't want to cook. I want something.

00:36:38
Speaker 1: I want. I want to be real.

00:36:40
Speaker 2: I can't cook.

00:36:41
Speaker 1: I want somebody.

00:36:46
Speaker 2: I want somebody.

00:36:47
Speaker 1: She can play golf and she's super super smart. She'll figure out anything. She'll write you a letter or an email, I mean, brilliant. But when it comes to the kitchen, I cann't cook. So I want somebody who likes adventure, who's fit. I'm not looking.

00:37:04
Speaker 2: I want here's the problem, hakm And I'm just then and then we're gonna put this whole podcast to rest. I am seventy two years old, but I have the energy. All my friends are in their forties and fifties and they can't keep up with me. So there's a big disconnect there.

00:37:18
Speaker 1: Guys want you know it's it's it's worried about the number. Yeah.

00:37:23
Speaker 3: Wait, So for the energy wise, are you meaning like your sex drive or just meaning like going out wise?

00:37:29
Speaker 2: All of this physically shape, I'm in great shape, you know all of it. I have energy for everything. And you know, men look at the number and go.

00:37:39
Speaker 1: Note, she says, might say your famous line, I don't want to used to guy.

00:37:44
Speaker 2: I don't want to used to guy. You know what he used to guy? Is uh hakma used to guy. He used to play tennis, he used to ski, he used to travel, and now he sits his ass on the sofa. That's absolutely nothing.

00:37:56
Speaker 3: Got it, got it, definitely understand. But I think the age is nothing but a number. Truth. I'm being honest. You see shere, She's phenomenous, she's she's she's not real, She's not real.

00:38:08
Speaker 2: That's about me.

00:38:11
Speaker 3: You are literally beautiful, basically basically what I'm saying. You are literally phenomenal inwardly and outwardly. You are literally gorgeous.

00:38:19
Speaker 2: You gotta think for Susan, so I don't know what to say.

00:38:22
Speaker 1: It's just chemistry, Kathy, you can't make that.

00:38:24
Speaker 3: Shut up. Yeah, I mean Susan is like Susan and I he's just Yeah.

00:38:30
Speaker 1: It was instant the day I met you, it was like, wow, she was stiff. Freeze could hurt my feelings at times. People's negative comments on my Instagram accounts like why did they say that?

00:38:44
Speaker 3: Why are you so mean to me? And also Kathy truthfully, I have a huge crush on Chris Jenner as well and Susan. Susan is literally.

00:38:55
Speaker 2: Like, excuse me, have you seen Chris General lately? They look nothing alike anymore.

00:39:00
Speaker 1: She's gorgeous.

00:39:01
Speaker 2: She looks like they don't look alike anymore. I'm serious. I love you, Susan.

00:39:09
Speaker 1: That's ships I need is like cheeken plants or something. But I love Chris.

00:39:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's gorgeous. Okay, well gorgeous. What's up? You got you kicking me out?

00:39:20
Speaker 2: It's about time here, it's and I just want to say, Hakeem, yeah, after we get off this podcast, you better get before you crawl in her shirt. You better go find me a guy.

00:39:33
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, With that being said, that does it for this episode of Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour.

00:39:40
Speaker 2: Thank you all, Thank you, Hakeem, Thank you all for joining us, and be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new episodes coming out every week and you don't mind to miss even.

00:39:50
Speaker 1: And we promise each and every one of you we will have him back on here. Make sure to submit your questions to us, and you can go to Bachelor Nation dot com slash Golden Hour or you can hit us up on social at Bachelor Happy Hour.

00:40:08
Speaker 3: Yeah.