The Mummy with Georgea Brooks

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Speaker 1: On the Doll Cast, the questions asked if movies have women in them, are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands, or do they have individualism the patriarchy? Zef and best start changing it with the beck Del Cast. Hi, Welcome to the beck Doell Cast. My name is Jamie, my name is Caitlin, and this is our podcast about how women are portrayed in movies. And uh, we use the Bechdel test, which let's lay it out for you. It's based on test invented by author Alison Bechdel. It is a test that you have to put up, Oh God, okay, I'm doing so well. Uh, there has to be a scene in the thing you're watching that has two women in it, preferably with names. We say, with names, with names, assertive, okay, and they are talking about something that is not a man. That's all it takes. That's all it takes. But wouldn't you know what A lot of movies don't us the Bectel test. Uh, it's yeah, no, yeah, it's it's too bad. It's a damn shame. It's a goddamn shame. It's a goddamn shame. However, it's the world we live in and I'm okay, how are you. I'm doing pretty well. I'm about to crack open a small bottle of chardonnay. I didn't have time, not just any Oh no, I'm sorry. Well, I'll be the drunk one on this episode. Uh, it's not just any schardon ay, it's Crane Lake chardon ay and it comes in a plastic bottle. I'm sorry. As someone who's drank whine out of plastic bottles plenty of times. What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that. I just wanted to, you know, I wanted to seem relatable. You know, I'm not one of these fancy glass bottle drinking Caitlin's usually drinking out of a glass bottle while I'm drinking my Mike's hard trying to trying to keep it real Hollywood to eat, you're out in another It's just not today. I'm I'm with the the proletariat class with my plastic bottle that I will recycle. Yeah, welcome back, Welcome back to her anyway. So we talked about movies, specifically about the portrayal of women in the movies, and we have a guest every episode. Today is no different. No, nor will it ever be. I'm excited yesterday. She has her own podcast, whoa what does? She called Your Booze Your News, where she and her co host get very drunk and then say the news and it's a lot of fun. And she's a comedian and she's very funny. Georgia Brooks, Hi, Hi, thanks for being here. Oh my god, thanks for having me. I can't wait to talk about boys together. That's what we're doing, right, talk about boys. Who do you have a crush on? Oh my god? And I don't even want to talk about right now. I have a rough week. And if you're going to talk about your rough week here, we're going to have to change the subject to boys, right. Sorry, um, sorry, this is this podcast? Oh never Well Exchangers Past the backdult Test. Yeah, well, that's like our intro basically of Hi, I'm Jamie. Hi, I'm Caitlin. We did it. We have names. We're not that we're talking about women, we're talking to about ourselves. Really, I'm Caitlin, I'm Jamie. Very self involved for talking about the movie. So it's like the whole podcast past. Although sometimes we do spend a lot of time talking about Alfred Molina. That's me. We got an audible aris, donta laugh. I think Alfred Molina actually okay to transition into the movie we're talking about today. I'm surprised Alfred Molina was not in this movie. I think that this he would have been a good fit. I love seeing Alfred Molina in a vest. This is a very vest heavy movie. I love seeing Alfred Molina playing too type, not against type. I don't like to see him challenge himself googling who you're talking about by the Oh my gosh, he's the beef kick. Oh my god, I just saw him in an episode of Shetland. Really yeah, I need to watch it. I think that I need to like lock myself in my home and watch everything he's ever been in and uh and come out a new person, come out of Guru. But Alfremlea unfortunately is not in this movie. But it seems like he could be totally he would be a great fit. So glad I looked it up so I could talk he aesthetically. Now I'm thinking about he aesthetically works very well for can we say it the Mommy Fraser that one the roller coaster movie. Yes, if you've ever been to Universal Studios. Can I just say I like, told my boyfriend was like, I gotta watch Georgia the Jungle this week and then time is later, and message him being like, I meant the mommymy totally alright. Because Brendan Frasers in Georgia the Jungle, I think that's not Georgia the Jungle too. I got confused. There's someone who is just as handsome and mad as him. Did you know that Alfred Moina is a series regular in Angi Tribecca. No I did not. I didn't either. I haven't seen Untili Tribeca. Now I'm gonna watch it. I mean I knew he was on Feudecca if we could, I honestly wouldn't mind if we if we talked about boys the whole time. I love talking about boys, especially when boys are Alfredia. Also, can I say, like, I know this is controversial, but Brandon Fraser rewatching the movie, and by rewatching, I mean I honestly, once I started watching the Mummy yesterday, I was like, oh, I haven't seen this before. Oh perfect, I had never seen this movie. I didn't know that I hadn't seen it because I'm probably because I was thinking about George of the Jungle. I thought i'd seen it because I've been on the roller coaster so much. And that's true because there's a video of Brendan Fraser in character that used to be at the end of the roller coaster. It's the only thing that is the only like video tie in that's better than the Brendan Fraser saying at the end of the ride, WHOA, that was pretty crazy. Anyways, remember to unbuckle your seat belts like that was literally what the video was. A little fact that's still his only gig. He still gets royalties from that rollercoaster video. But the only one that's better, if you're listening at home is look up the Bill Paxton Rest in Paradise Twister Experience video. It's not a ride that exists anymore. It's literally one of those like Hollywood things where you go in and you just watch a set from Twister blowsh it around, and then at the end there's a video of Bill Paxton saying, Wow, the majesty of Nature. Check out Twister. It came out, this ride existed is recently is five years ago where uh in Florida. It was like I think it was like, yeah, like Universal Studios in Florida. I mean, this is the second movie we've done now that has had a dater. Can you guys do Pirates of the Cab. We're gonna do the Country Bears. We're gonna do you guys are gonna do Song in the South anytimes? Oh No, that is a roller coaster movie. It's like my favorite roller coaster and it's problematic on literal mountains, isn't that Yeah? Yeah, yeah, and they're like, let's change it. Let's not change it. I'm sure somebody will also do Jurassic Park. I would love the Drastic Park. Raft ride is fine. I love it. Well, there's a place called Paramount, Canada's Wonderland, and I bet they've got a lot of rides based on movies that you guys just don't know. Our rides about Raider, there's a room, no way. Yeah, I would almost got to go to Killa. I would almost prefer that to well, I don't know. There's also the one with the guy who jumped on the couch Tom Cruise. He's in the new movie movie What's the What's the movie? Top Gun? There's a top Gun ride there too. Way. Yeah, rules kicks the shift out of that twist to ride. It wasn't even ride, you just stared at it. Oh wait, here's another good time. This is a roller coaster podcast. Now. I love and my mom. I've never seen my mom more excited than to go on the Aerosmith roller coaster in Orlando, Florida. For some reason, the Disney Corporation took it upon itself. You know who needs to be adapted into a roller coaster The band Arrowsmith. I mean, they're not wrong there, it's they're a great band. They're from from my hometown, for crying out loud, there from Boston. Um. So my mom like she she used to be a roadie for the Beaver Brown Band. She was there their their road sled or whatever she did. I don't know. I don't know exactly what she did with the Beaver Brown band, but she let's call her right like Joe, what was your affiliation? She doesn't like to talk about it. So I think she was the Red Slide um, but she she aspired to be the Aerosmith roads that never got there. We went to Disney World when I was like twelve, and she all she wanted to do was gone the Aerosmith roller coaster and was thrilled because when you're in the waiting area because it's an in demand roller coaster, there's lines there. Can that be true? But it's a great roller Okay, but there. I was on it last year and I was like, not hold up, but there's a huge like you're waiting in like their studio, and then all of Aaronsmith acts and this short sketch and they're so bad and they're just like, oh my god, we gotta get to tour it the venue. We gotta get to the veneo God, get us to the Greek or like whatever they're saying. Um And Steve Tyler is there and he's like, oh my god, guys, we're going to be late. Hey didn't. Then the appoint it me and they say, hey, can you drive for us? We need some roadies And my mom was like because she wanted to be ready. Yeah, she was thrilled. Oh my god, this is the coaster cast. Anyway, the movie was cool, So you guys hadn't have seen it before. I think I saw it when it first came out in and then never again except for today and yesterday when I watched it twice and then maybe never and never again after this, but it's a time for the recap. Yeah, all right, there, you guys, don't do that. Oh yeah, cut a track right now in every single time. Well, first, I feel like someone was like, Hey, I really want to make an Indiana Jones movie. But I don't have the rights to Indiana Jones, but I want to make an Indiana Jones movie anyway, So I'm gonna make this movie, and I'm not going to care that it's very bad. Probably, I say, I can see that it has such an Jones feel, as Jones accept like a really like a CVS brand Jones. Yeah. But then I was up and up. That's so funny that you think that, because I was thinking, Oh, this is like a better version of National Treasure, which is just another version of Indiana Jones. I love National Treasure. I'm sure it would have could have been a fine movie. Oh no, what's the name of that guy? I wish he was in National Treasure? Another movie he'd fit in great. Well, he is in Raiders of the Lost Dark Alfred Molina is. Oh, yeah, he's in a good one. I'm sorry. Last Crusade is a very good one. Here's something not the best. One will shock you here. I've never seen in Indiana John, No, it won't. It does not shock National Treasure probably five times, so you don't need to see Indiana Jones exactly. That's just think of that but better. But like what if this is better? But I love It's something I know and love the The plot twist in Natural Treasure is daylight saving time. That's a great twist. I love that twist. I'm so glad I brought this one because I need to get drunk immediately. Raiders of the Lost Arc probably is the better film, but we all can agree that Indiana Jones on the Last Crusade is a much more fun movie. And it wasn't really closer two. I know it's a really fun one. It was alright anyway, So this movie God well, to quote of Brendan Frasier's character, I gotta rescue the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy, and save the world. I love that line. I was like, boom, nailed it, nail on the head. Brandon. I have a lot of thoughts about Brandon Fraser. I'm sure you're not supprised he buys into my My new theory is that Brendan Fraser is ostensibly the rebound boyfriend of actors because you do not have to take him seriously. He's fun for two hours. The second you hit two hours, he is not fun anymore, and you're like, I want to go home. And that's that is. That's luckily this movie clocks in just over two hours, but ten minutes of that is the credits. So yeah, by a mummy, So it's like, you're busy. He's got a frinding about him. Is like I forgot how hot he was and I was like, holy crap, he's so hot. But then by the end of the movie you see like where you're like, he's just something off hot, you know what I mean, when he's wild brand hot. This whole movie is this CBS brand. I like, I feel like if you called Brendan Fraser's name, he's got the kind of eyes where he'd like look over like a like an egrette. He'd be like, what like an emu ostrich, what am I thinking of? I'm thinking of a large bird. That's how I think. I feel like Brendan Frener could lay an egg and that's what he's been doing. Lately. I wouldn't be surprised if Brendan Fraser. So this is like I laid a night I had coldbred coffee for the first time today. Oh, that's the last time I had cold brew coffee. I had a panic attack. I am story. I feel like I'm on the verge of a pan. But let's let's ride this way. Let's write it um and let's recap the story. We open in like ancient Egypt. What years it? We don't know? Something BC something. I don't give a funk. If it's before Christ. Yeah, not interesting. Let's leave this out of it, Okay, just to clarify. So in the beginning, when it's like the BC era, and then so what's that chick? Is she like super special or something? She's the pharaoh's mistress, mistress mistress? Where's we don't know? Do we hear about the wife? I don't think so they would talk about something together, I know, only woden't have a conversation, just one thing, those two. Um. But then she's having an affair with someone else. She loves somebody else, which is this man. He's bald and that's really honestly, I thought he was when I first last movie, I thought it was Billy Zane. I was like, that guy's that's Billy Zane. And then I rewatched it yesterday and I was like, no, different man who looks just like him? Before we start to get bad reviews, we're not saying all bald men look alike. I know that we we've got to be aware, do you know? What? Was crazy? And I know we're still doing the plot but we haven't. We've hardly begun. But how like that at the beginning, it's like that woman is like us, basically, like a sex slave mistress, and then she's in love with someone and he loves her, and then yet that person who loves her and her become the villain. It's like they should be the good guys. Yeah, I was a little bit confused about that, Like why are they the villains? They've had a ship time, I don't know. Anyways, forward also the after Christ the the actress who plays the ancient Egyptian lady. Her name is Patricia Velasquez who plays Marta on Arrested Development? Whoa which one's Marta on Arrested develop She's the one that Michael is in love with that date that's fine, yeah, I wanted them to make it, I know not and Michael anyway, so they they have this like clandestine relationship and the Pharaoh finds out, so he's like, you're a bad man. I'm going to curse you and not really though before he could curse him, oh, the woman they killed him. Well, the woman stabs herself and then they they killed the pharaoh first. I don't remember, but saying it doesn't really it didn't even It's like, this is a why is this movie hard to follow? Like it shouldn't be. There's a lot of questions that I feel like I would come up with the wrong plot. And I tried really hard to pay attention to this movie. It's a hard movie to pay attention to it. And when I said who cares, I don't mean I didn't mean to dismiss you. I meant to say, this movie is stupid, who cares what happens in it? I just wanted to clarify, right, Yeah, all my fans are going to be really mad about it. The Georgia Heads are coming after you. Brooks Nation. The bottom one the guy becomes a mummy and then put in a tomb, and the sarcophagus, and they mummify him while he's alive, so he gets put in that thing when he's still alive, which is You can tell it scary because his eyes are like, no, yeah, this tongue, which is which is a bad thing in the beast. How is he going to go down on a woman? That's what they're saying. Wait, wait, air, is that not how you get down a woman? Just gentle blowing. I feel like if you had a nub enough a tongue, you could still do it. Yeah, you don't have to like really get in there, but yeah, a little froggy no, you would you have to do if you had a really little tongue. Hypothetically, I'm not sorry I got I have a great tongue, um, but if you have a little tongue, I have an average sized tongue. I drive such a fancy hot car because I'm compensating for my tongue, my tongue. But maybe you'd have to And everyone at home please picture this happening to a vagina. Spread your mouth and suction on to get the tongue. Because you can't bring the tongue. The tongue has to be brought to well anyway, so there's a curse, he's a money or so. Then the future comes at the past, is it n it's and then it like goes forward more so I was guessing that was around five to thirty, but the first ones in when Brandon Fraser is still like I only watched this movie once, you don't remember the years as is like I'm obsessed with like Edwardian culture, which is like nineteen nineteen ten. And then right after that and I got, really, the one thing I really liked about this movie is like the era took place in and also her fashion her Yeah, it's she's she's a colonial gal with very thin eyebrows. I didn't even know that was Rachel I wrote down triggered by eyebrows, eyebrows, very distracting, no idea that was her because she has such like rich, luxurious eyebrows and they're so overplunched in this movie because I was like the style of the time that I did not know that was Rachel White until I looked at him. She has she has pregnant teenager eyebrows. Those are overplugged eyebrows are for pregnant teenagers and people who don't know what they're doing. All the pregnant teenagers listening to the podcast. We're not trying to put you in a box. Keep listening, and you know, think about how your your body, your choice, your but also I mean with the baby, but not with your eyebrows. And there's no excuse for bad So I should just I am dB this, babe, I am dB. Yeah, I didn't fit it took I. I have been trying to challenge myself to not google things for the second I want to google them. No, But like when I was watching the movie earlier, I was like, I'm going to figure out who this actress is. I know her face, but the browser distracting and I didn't get it. I had to look it up. Well, it's she looked Hella familiar, And by the end of the movie, I was like, oh, I've seen her a buttload. Yeah. I think that's the technical term, and that's the unit of measurement that I'd like to apply. Yeah. So then he gets arrested. Yeah. Brendan Fraser is like, I guess, a treasure hunter and he like goes to this lost city, this city of the Dead in Egypt, and there's these people who attack him, and he's like no when he gets arrested, and then intro Rachel Wise as Evelyn and her brother and they worked at this like Library of Antiquities museum also in Egypt. She's a scholar. I forget why she go, right because her brother has this yeah, and I find this map. Now, like this is the map to this city of the dead. So they go and they find it's kind of like to see a national treasure where they steal a constitution and they're like, there's a map on the back and it's a lemon juice. How did you find out? What the No, that's not right. They didn't hold it under a black light. I don't know what they did. It's basically like national treasure, right, Okay, continue Anyway, they pair up with Brendan Fraser and they're like, let's go to this place. They find the city. They go inside these categories. There's a sarcophagus and then they're like this is creepy. And then there's these other people who are also hunting for the treasure in this place. And the twenties everyone really wanted treasure. Everyone loved treasure back then. Not so much. Now there's like no, no, one's seeking wealth anymore. You know. That's why I've made such a killing in the treasure business, because it's an undersaturated profession. I like to steal old paper and be like it's a map and then and then go to different countries and just sunk around. You're very good at that. Yeah, thank you anyway, So they released this Mommy that's in this this tunes because she reads from the book and she finds she didn't read that's the list reading no thank you. She reads from this book. It like awakens this bad mummy guy and he keeps like sucking the life out of people until he's like regenerated. And his whole thing is he wants to be reunited with the woman and he loves what. Oh my god, Aristotle, we got him to say something. Wait, what did you say name right? Did you re watch the movie recently? You just remember? Okay, you just wait? Do you love the Mummy? Oh my god? If you didn't hear him, he said he used to love it. I don't believe how many times have you feel like you've just been waiting to yell at You're like they're gonna get there, They're gonna get there. That's so funny anyway, So he wants to be a twist for us from that. So this mommy guy wants to be reunited with his love whose name is whatever, who cares, And then he know he's like, I'm going to take this one other lady in the story and use her is like the vessel to try to revive my my beloved. And they're like, no, we can't let this happen. So they have to go find this other book that's going to kill him because he's immortal and he can't be killed by any mortal weapons. So they're like scrambling around and he's like unleashing all these plagues on the city and they're like, no, how do we do this? And then there's all these other mommies who come up and attack them, and a bunch of people die, and then finally they find the book they need and they kill him the end and they fall in love and right and Brandon fall in love. Yes, who saw that coming? Rick? I love that the hero of this Egyptian movie is Rick O'Connell. Sounds like a neighbor I would have Is that the brother? Uh No, that's Brendan Rick O'Connell. Rick O'Connell. The guy who plays Benny, who is presumably an Egyptian character, is played by a guy named Kevin O'Connor. That must probably a white guy and probably example of Hollywood. Hollywood whitewashing. This movie is very, very very guilty of whitewashing. If we're looking at it in a macro way, it's, you know, three white leads in a country of now white people. All the villains are you know, the slightly brown, slightly brown we I mean were they're just ethnically ambiguous. Well the Egyptian played by Patricia she's Hispanic, right, yeah, I mean they were like a anything money pigments, yeah, which uh And but you know even the way that like like everyone who lives in Egypt who is not American or British is like they're dumb or they're violent, and we're we're here to talk about women, but you know, we're addressing it's hard to talk about women with this movie. We literally have to talk about other things. I do have something I would like to address. It's very serious. So the reason we're doing this episode because there's a new Money installment coming out starring not Brandon Fraser but Tom Cruise, the guy who jumped on the couch. Isn't that weird? Usually when there's a new movie and they put a new person and they don't pick someone who's the same age as the original, dude, you know what I mean? You just didn't cast him last time. Brandon Fraser uh is if nothing else, and he's a lot of things. He's a class act brand. Fraser released a statement upon not being cast in The Money reboot and being bumped by Tom Cruise, and it's maybe the saddest thing. Oh God, please, I've ever written my life. Here's what Mr Fraser had to say. Quote. I am flattered as Tom Cruise is a really big movie star. There are many movies made before the one that I was lucky to be a part of, which, speaking in the sense of you know, history of time, a lot of movies. I am certain this one will be unique. I have met Tom before and he is a nice guy. He will be great, and the film will be exciting, and get your tissues out. I will buy the ticket to watch it on the opening day. Imagine if Brendan Fraser had to pay for a ticket to the Mummy. I think we should start a Kickstarter get him a therapy dog and a free ticket to the Mummy because this because Homeboy is is torn up. He's torn up about it. It's just sad because it's like he could use it, you know, he could use it, and he shines. I enjoyed him in Luny Tunes back in Action in two thousand three. What's that movie he's in, Um Georgia the Jungle. Yeah, yeah, I want to see a reboot that you're in called Georgia of the jung So does everybody here that Hollywood? But yeah, let's talk about Evelyn, who I did not. I didn't even know her name until halfway through the movie. Yeah, same, because I was like, oh, Evelyn is a great name. I remembered Evie because I was like, that's a Pokemon. Let's just from the top her. The way she's introduced. What a goof right, she's putting books away in her library. What a weird introduction to this character. Yeah, because it doesn't even she never looks that way again, Like she had glasses on maybe or something. She looked like a super nerd and then that was the end of that. And she's like super clumsy because like she's on this ladder trying to put these books away, and then the ladder like somehow becomes suspended upright, and gravity stops existing for thirty seconds or so, and she's like kind of balancing on this ladder and she's almost like they're still, and then she finally tips over and knocks like twenty bookcases down dominoes. And then this mean guy comes in. He's like, you fix this, you fix it. He's like, why are you Why do I even hire you? Yeah, you suck. And she does stand up for herself and she's like, because I can read ancient in Egypt, I know what hi, your rhoglyphics are and the most that's the way exactly what she says. Well, I mean it's like the most expository dialogue ever. I went to college, and I know the pictures they made inside the triangles and and the guys like, you know what actually is? Because your parents have a lot of money? Did he say that to blame us? Girl? What do you know about misery? Hey? Titanic check the guy who plays Mr. Is may Is in this movie and the guy who plays another character whose name that scene with violent swimming that I was like, oh no, because they go overboard. Yeah, there's that. And the guy who plays Captain Winston have Lock who like pilots their playing back to the city. Guy who says famous character cath I cosplayed in him. He plays the guy in Titanic who after Jack like saves Rose on the back of the ship. And then everyone's like did he save her or was he trying to rape er? We don't know? And then he's like, no, I saved her. And he's like, well, the boy's a hero. Then that guy that's a deep cut yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah, you're right there. And then yeah, Mrs May plays on Chamberlain. He end doesn't He the guy from Titanic and from this movie. He's also the bad guy in Jamani. Oh sorry, there's a movie coming out with Kevin Harrison. I think it's Kevin Harden. What's his name? The Rock? Okay, I'm back. We I mean, story plot wise, we have not yet gotten to the part with Britain Frasher in a cage because I've been waiting. Oh, we just jumped right over that arrested for a reason that I can't decipher. I'm not sure. Then he almost gets hung. He's indicage. He looks exactly like he looked well Georgia the younger. Yes, I'm like, is that how long has he been in the jail? We don't know. Um, we were I was talking about how how Ellen's character is introduced. Yeah, we haven't talked about her brother yet. Remember how her brother is introduced when she comes like in to the room and then he pretends to be like a skeleton mummy, like such a shitty brother move. And I originally thought it was going to go in the direction of, like, this is her husband and like or her fiance. I thought it was going to be somebody who liked her, who was a ship bag, you know what I mean. And then I'm glad it ended up being her brother too, because when we got to like we're like, oh whatever, I just want to love story to be able to happen, and I don't want anything to get in the way of that. Like I like that it was just her brother, so that heat there was nothing getting in the way of her and whatever his name is that theirs sure, but it's like there wasn't like a she gets mad at him because that guy told a lie, and it's like, fucking forget. I just want everyone to like be in love. I don't want any external opposing forces. Egypt is enough too close to Yeah, I mean Egypt. We're already in the trenches. There in the trenches. Let's talk about how after she and her brother are introduced, they go to the cage that Brandon Fraser is hanging out in because he's been arrested for whatever reason, rashing around, Right, how long has he been in there? Because he is effectively feral. When he bursts into that cage, he's like like, he's like screaming, I don't rashing around kissing him. It wouldn't take that long to be come like that in a jail cell I don't, probably not, especially if you're untethered as Brendan Fraser. But that's what I wanted to talk about. He just like he's like, come your closer, I gotta tell you something. And then he kisses her and we're like but she seems fine with it, which is like, well, she liked it, but she's like I didn't like it. She's ritten by a man who also read the g I. Joe movies. Just keep things in perspective. Well, I was like, Okay, why did that happen? Why didn't anyone make that choice? And then she does like kind of push back a little bit. She's like, how dare you? And then she keeps She's like, you have bad manners and why why did you kiss me? And he's like, I was about to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at the time. And then then pulls out a gun. Okay, I know you have a lot of He pulls out a gun. Well, he like slam after he says that line about like just I was in a cage, so you pretty much do every want a cage? Like, he slaps down all of his artillery in front of her, and I'm just like, this is a weird choice. Also, before he meets Evie and even before he kisses her, he calls her abroad. Yeah, like she'll do it, that's actually historical for a fourth she'll do for a fourth kiss. I'm George of the Jungle. Also Brendon Fraser controversy. All the Fraser heads out there, let me know what you think. I don't remember if Brendan Fraser has an auty belly button or if the guy in George of the Jungle too has an autie belly button. One of them has an autie belly button. I hope it's Brendan because I have an Audie. The audie community as very oppressed, especially in Hollywood, and is it even safe to say that on their don't even maybe ended this audi and prouty is what I'm saying. Brand it's Brandon Frazer. I'm gonna look up as tummy pressure ebbs. So, first of all, whenever you kiss someone without their permission, technically it's sexual assault. So that happened. And then there's this story beat where she's like kind of swooning over it. She's like in her when she's no Like before that, she's like she's in her room on the boat because they're heading towards this City of the Dead, and she's like trying to read and she's like so hot and bothered. And then she's like, oh, come on, girl, what wasn't even that good of a kiss? Like clearly she's apparently thinking about this kiss, but we saw the kiss and we know it wasn't that good, so she must be in love. Yeah, well that's not okay, You're right, I hear you, especially because that I was like, oh, yeah, this is so weird. Because it's always unacceptable obviously, but if a villain character had done that, I'd be like, oh, we're supposed to know he's a bad guy. He doesn't respect one. This is the hero of the movie, right, who pretty much in our introduction, Farrell Fraser bursts out, you know, he's foaming or whatever, and then and then he immediately assaults a man with his fist and then a woman with his mouth, and it's just it's just like, oh, yeah, just buy rules, can't wait to go on the roller coaster, like it's just weird. Well, and then there a couple of minutes after that, whenever there there's this like public hanging ceremony where he's about to be hung. She's trying to barter with this guy who's like in charge of hanging him, I guess. And then she's like, I'll pay you a hundred pounds and he's like, no, I'm a lonely man. What else can you give? And he puts his hand on her knee, and so she was assaulted twice in a row, but she does she doesn't, and then she laps his hand and then the whole crowd laughs, proving that women are funny. This is pretty cool. It was, and it is kind of cool that she saves him, like a rolls or reverse, that woman saves the man. She's a good with some exception like getting too horny to read a book. Who hasn't I'm like, I could think of an example of maybe a time that that has happened to me. But she's a pretty good character. But this is I think like symptomatic of blockbusters of you know, Princess Leia, because we see Evie in a very LAist style sex prison where she's like chained to the sarcophagus brand and all that, and it's like, we have one solid female protagonist and the main problem is a all the male characters and be there's one for her to talk to, which I feel like it's a problem We've come up on this podcast again and again again. Yeah, it's like they had she had no chance there. She only could talk to those dudes because there was just no And also like, but to be fair, she chose that life of adventure and most women don't do that. But at one point she's like, I'm not an adventurer. I'm a librarian. I'm just like okay, cool, and then she passes out on him, and he doesn't. He knows that passed out means no, And I think that's really great. Who drunk the sand means well? And that's a great message for young men like Aristotle who are watching at the time. Yeah, because he kisses the air because she's like, I'm gonna kiss you, and then she passes out and then and so he just like he kisses the air because you knows he can't kiss her. Great, even more assault than he's already assaulted her. Well, what happened. What they were trying to show is that he was like the bad boy and then she kind of like made him a good boy. She fixed him. She fixed him. I think that that's impressive because I this is not a protagonist that jumped out to me as I could fix him, and I think I could fix almost everybody. Brendan, he's a wild I wouldn't want to leash that Bengal tiger, you know what I mean. She also wasn't trying to fix him. It just happened, do you know what I mean? She was very busy and very excited about all of the history around her, and she wasn't even trying to She was horny for history. She was horny for history and he was He was horny adjacent. She was like no woman he's ever met. Now I'm putting plotlines in that. Well, we don't even know if he's ever met a woman before. We've never seen him in a scene with another woman. She could be his first woman that he's met. Maybe now there's a movie, let's talk about it. I'm thinking Ricky Gervais for the lead. I wanted to talk a little bit about the scene on the boat where one while she does save Brendan Fraser from being hanged, then he has to go and save her because he's bad. Guys on the boat who are like the guardians of the exact who they were lost city. Okay, they're just trying to keep that money in right, I think. Cool. Yeah, So they come in attack and she gets saved by Brandon and then he's like he picks her up, throws her into the water. What ocean would that have been. I don't think it was an ocean. I think it was the Nile. That's when my mom went swimming in the Nile. Really, that's cool. It's go on an expedition and dig up some bones. That's what I call sex going on an expedition. Wow, it sounds like you're doing phones. But then I actually, I'm sorry, I'm not digging them up. I'm burying those bones. If you catch your sting men and burying their penises, I got it with my vagina with your whoa, So you're vagina is the dog? Like, okay, I think I was thinking if you're a vagina is the shovel. Oh yeah, I guess So you know what's interesting about this movie? So he keeps saving her with her his muscles, and she keeps saving him with her wit and knowledge. Perfect exchange between them is one of my favorites where Brendan Frascher's character is insistent on being a fucking weird idiot, where she goes, you know your history, and he says, I know my treasures to double down and like, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm not smart, which I appreciate. I love it when a man's like, guess what, I'm not smart. Yeah, I'm stupid, and it's like, you know, usually you're right. That brings me to the scene whenever they're trying to haggle with the guy who's selling them camels and like no, we only went Flora camels. And then Brendan Frascher's like, well, we could have gotten them for free. All you needed to do was give them your sister, suggesting that Jonathan should have sold Lynn. I think at the camel, I think even worse than that that it was just Brennan making a joke, which is even worse. You don't even like I don't even think he was real about that, but he was just like, like, I hate when dudes make jokes. Are bad at cond They're so bad at a great at comedy. Men are bad. I hate you're just the fact. I hate to come to Brendon's defense, but what a compliment to be worth four whole camel? I mean like most men would be like, oh, you know, like on the Camel rating system, fourth pretty high if you're like using the humps as measurement, like, but women have a bunch of humps. If we remember from that, what a great album? Check it out? Then you can't see that laugh anyway, Yes, true, Jimmy, camels are each of us worth. I'm a four camel girl. Trust me. I've been with men who have tried to sell me for our camels and He's like, I'll take no four cigarettes. I'll take the lesson four cigarettes or this one not even speaking in cartons, like my girlfriend, if you give me four cigarettes, she's your girlfriend. Now. I would never date a smoker. Okay I did once actually get mean, not just smoke shame everyone. We're gonna get some emails about this. You guys are smoke shamers. And this is a really nice shirt that my only smoker boyfriend got me. Worth it? What is it? White men can't jump? Wit men can't jump? Cool? Yeah, I've never seen that movie. It's good. It's good. It's a good movie. Check it out. He also gave me the chicken d I'll link you to his Facebook profile. You ye, shout out. As long as we're talking about boys still, I think the podcast is going great. The next thing I wanted to bring up was Mr. Is Me, who's real actor's name we don't know, but we know him as Mrs May from Titanic. He's sort of with this other group of Americans, Americans. They're the Americans. Right off, I was just saying a line from Titanic. I heard it at the end of the first VHS, one of our favorite lines of course, and he is referring to Brendan and friends, and he's like, they're led by a woman. What is a woman now, which is obviously to like show that like, we're not rooting for these guys. They're they're bad and they say horrible things like that, and they're wrong. They're wrong because in the next scene, Evelyn says she's basically rattling off all the things she knows about hieroglyphs and the legends and mythology. Everybody knows treasurer but she knows history knowledge, but they doesn't know ed. But so the problem is, like he like, they're led by a woman. What does a woman know? And then in a few scenes later, Brendan Fetchers like he's talking to Evelyn and he's like, why are you here? Yeah, so it's like, um, because she's helping your expedition, you motherfucker well, And she does, I mean almost at every opportunity she has to stand up for herself, and he does stand up for herself, which is why I think she's a good character. She's always advocating for how smart she really does seem to be, even though it's not plot relevant very often. And she also is like, do you think she's a suffragette. It's around that time. I don't think she thinks she has the right to vote, and it's a damn shame. So while her her strength is knowledge and she knows a lot about history, specifically ancient Egyptian history, but she seems to have some huge blind spots in her knowledge because she doesn't because she doesn't know enough to not read from a book called the Book of the Dead. She was too, because that's what awakens the mummy. I like that you have known that. I mean she doesn't believe in things she can't see. She said, that's true, anything would come up. She wasn't super It's weird because she is superstitious at certain parts of the movie, and then another part she's like, I don't believe it, and yeah, like she she's like, no, there's rumors that this city is trial. She says in the beginning, She's like, if I don't see, I don't believe it. And it's like Eve, one must pick. But the scene where she steals the book I loved because she steals it from this guy who's like drunk, he passes out. She takes is that Mrs Name oh god, I think he made it his headlines thank you, that was for you. And then she brings it over to Brendan and Brendan's like, it seems like he's joking. He's like, don't read the monk. Don't. They're flirting, right, but then once she reads it and something bad happens, He's like, I told you not to read the book. Like you were flirting with her, you would have read it if you could read. He was he was being manipulative. He's like, hey, I don't she I told her. I told her not to read the book. And she's like I'm sorry. And then and then Mr is May is like in the right even though he's like the dumb alcoholic where he's like, we told her not to read the book. I feel like every dumb man in the scene ends up being right, and that's frustrating. I feel like there's a lot of like in this movie, characters who should are the bad guys, but then they're the good guys, and then they're the bad guys. Like I feel like there's a lot of mix. Yeah, fid you know more like real life? This is like what did he eat? The documentary? Because we're like chef salad next in there. What do you guys think happens in the Mummy Returns? I think he comes back. Have you seen it? Do you know? Only did he nod? He like gave this like stupid moment. You bitches haven't seen the Mummy Returns? Uh? Well, I don't know. I mean we're using for a yardstick of a movie. I have seen the return of Jaffar. Jaffar returns in that one, so one might assume the Mommy returns that Jafar returns. Then I used to have a crush on Jaffar. Jaffar is hot, the which animals, Jaffar the evil, the evil brother. Uncle, who's from? You have said every Disney movie? That's not a lab far right? He is he the parrot? No, he's the good cat right, that's Oh, it's the bad guy. Yes. Oh, I don't know why I thought it was ana. I think we should start a podcast about straight to video sequels. You guys should do like mini shows that are just sequels and you don't have a guest. Maybe m It's not a bad idea. I claimed the copyright for them, but you guys can have it, but just always give me credit. Credit at the top. The director of the Mummy, Stephen Summers, has an impressive resume if you were an aggro white dude who wants to be leading a movie. He wrote, wrote, he wrote and did the Mummy Good for him here, and he also wrote The Mummy Returns Juries out on what Happened. He also wrote Revenge of the Mummy, The Ride. He wrote the roller Coaster video Road the roller Coaster too. I bet he is on the rolle riding the roller coaster that one when that would make sense, know that if it's like the Mummy, there's fire and a jump scare and then you go backwards like there's like a a grama Brendan Fraser at the end of Fraser comes at the end and says, unbuckle your seat, exactly what sex with Me is like. And then he wrote The Mummy, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, and then he also wrote G I Joe, The Rise of Cobra. Okay, he mixed it up there and Van helsing that really bad one. The next thing I wanted to talk about was I'm here to keep it. It's not even irrelevant thing. I know. I'm not. I'm not. I'm good I'm doing good, you're doing great. Okay. What scene. So it's after they've unleashed the Mummy. They go back to the city I think Cairo maybe, yeah, probably a good bet. And they're in a hotel, I think, and they're like, all right, we're gonna have to go back because we really suck this up. We're gonna have to go fix it. Brendan Fraser does not want Evelyn to go along, so he picks her up and then he throws her on a bed and then he locks her in a room. And to be fair, she's very she's very angry about it, and she's fighting back. She's like, I can't know, I want to go with you, guys, don't don't leave me here. But it was just like, come on, Brendon, do you don't have to pick her up and hurl her across the room? He had he had to her. There are so many scraps that gets into in this movie. If someone would just let her hold a gun. She never holds a gun. Does she ever hold agun? There's a scene where they're in like they're like around the campfire and like a noise happened. So he's like, hold this and he shoves the rifle in her hands, but then he comes back and gets it. In most scenes, Brendan Fraser has two guns. He's not a pouch full of weapons. Wait and talk about your gun theory. So I have not a theory. These are fats um. So I started counting the number of times where there's a scene in the movie where a character either pulls out a gun or the scene starts and guns are already drawn or are being fired. And this this is just scenes. So it's like, not even the number of times this happens. This is just scenes where this happens in. Within a scene, it could happen. I feel like they put them away and they're like, actually gonna come come back out again. So this is strictly just the scenes that this happens in. It is I counted twenty one scenes in the movie where characters like, hey, it's been seven seconds since I've drawn a gun. Better do it again. There's only eight scenes in this movie. The joke is that weapons don't kill the mommy, So what the funk? Exactly that's true. They only kill each other with a weapon. Man, It's like once a gun is used to shoot a scare beetle once it's used to shoot the mirrors, to just tilt the mirror so that the light they like the reflections, so like guns are used. The thing that really bummed me out about Evie was I was on her side. There were shitty she was being assaulted all the time, but at least she had a character. She had a set of skills and knowledge and like she was a capable female protagonist until like the last half hour where she's pretty effectively taken out of action, until at the end of the movie where she's like this is where like the Damsel in Distress line comes in, where she's taken by the bald guy a k a. The Mommy them. Oh yeah, the mommy poor Man's Billy Zane. This is called the bald guy. And then the bald guy returns, not to be confused with the bald women rule the bald Guy to the Dragon Emperor. Right cool, because she's like strapped to a slab. She's like in Princess Leah, like she's put in a hot outfit and restrained. Where was that from? A right? I wish she had underneath? Oh yeah, it's like did he just They're like, we've got some we've got a wardrobe in this pyramid like there because it fits just so, but that that sucks. Like watching basically the whole bimactic scene where she's literally in the center of the screen beside a dead woman, beside a dead woman changed the first thing able to participate ever seen two women together one is dead money. And then Brendan Fraser, who I cannot imagine was trained in any way for these fights because he just seems to be you know, flailin flailin Fraser, just lunging at probably like tennis balls on sticks that weren't real c g I mummies yet and he's like, uh, um, he did kind of help save the thing because her dumb, dumb brother couldn't read the thing. She was trying to tell him, does it look like a bird a stork? And then she's like, oh, it's this word and then true. But she is in that moment still pretty helplessive and helpless. Um, but I did at least she was doing. I wrote that down too, and like, well, at least she participated. She wasn't like forgetting all of her skill set for you know what I mean, Like when they're just like Negate the fact that she has any skills whatsoever for the sake of damsel in distress. Yeah, she does have skills. I just hate that that they like like she should have saved him. That should have been the twist. Well because at the end I and he had like one hand free, and you know in that skeleton, mummy hand grabs something and then grabs the mummy hand. And I thought that she was going to do like the final blow and would get the mommy, But she doesn't, write Brendan Fraser takes a dead person's hand and does it trigger. I mean, overall, the men in the story, which is of them, are overall consumed by greed and they mostly resort to violence, whereas the one woman character who we see generally has integrity and she provides a lot of information that's necessary for the progression of the story. And she is kind of active, and I mean like different things she does or different bits of information that she says, let's the story move forward. She participates. She participates. Wow, we really lowered. You know, it could be better, it could be worse. She doesn't have one of those moments that I always talked about in Hate and Summer Blockbusters where the one female protagonist does something and goes told, you boys, look like I just kicked something really hard and it broke. And then they're like, oh, we're so areny, Like so that was good. She just did what she was good at and no one was like, oh that, although there is a moment where um, this is after the Mummy has like captured her and taken her and like he's bringing her back to the City of the Dead, and the Mummy is like making this big sandstorm and the plane flying into it, and the ball guys always be making sandstorms, and the sandstorm is like overcoming the plane that there are all in that, like Brendan Fraser and all those guys are in and she's like, oh my god, they're about to die. She's you're going to kill them. So to distract the Mummy, she goes up to him and it's like, oh, she about to punch him. She's about to kick him in the balls, like to make him lose his concentration. Instead, she kisses him, which like, I have conflicting feelings about because on one hand, I'm like, yes, I too. Whenever I can try to use my sexuality to confuse and distract men, but that's not like were you taught that from movies like The Mommy. Probably I would have rather. I would have rather she had gone up to him and like punched him in the face or punched him in the dick. But she's really adds that's what she's Fraser did. She's doing a kiss is a stun gun, right, Yeah, she's she learned that assault trick from her so she can beat Then she and Brendan Fraser do share a consensual kiss at the very end, little bit too long for me, I mean, and for her brother. He was in having a right because then he's like, maybe I should kiss this camel, which I think would have been a really groundbreaking moment for cinema. Hat he kissed the camel? Are right? Yeah, totally, especially if that camel was a dude, which is what he wanted to Yeah, that was implied. I really hate that. I mean, it's like, why don't you just be gay and not make this a thing very heteronormative movie. It's like it's like Michelle and Gilmore Girls the original run. It's like, let's just say I know, because it's just like it's after a while if you have a gay character in the mix long enough and don't say it. It almost becomes worse, like we're just totally everyone else is fucking right and left. Like, let's acknowledge this character. Clearly, they're always hot. Let's let him fuck totally. Thank god he found his partner. Yes, Frederick, I have nothing to contribute to this conversations. I've not seen that show. I love that so much. It's mye of the Indiana Jones movies. I was too busy watching Gilmore Girls, probably almost as many times as I've seen The Drinks. Okay, I have a question about the Bechdel tests in this movie. Tying all the themes together, does this movie actually pass the beck Del test? Because the two women fought each other for quite a long time in the tomb. I don't know how. I don't know if they even exchange one word, but they were certainly fighting, and it wasn't over a man. It was about being alive. Well, they're interacting, but because they're not speaking, pass there at least there are two I mean, congratulations to this movie for having two women in the same scene, but yeah, that's all we get out of this one. So no, it doesn't pass the test. I would say that it does not what's going on? What being weird? Yeah? Oh, I think you're being fine, But I guess I don't hang out with you as much. Even though that said, I keep trying to hang out. I keep texting and you're like, I'm busy. Sorry. I love how Canadian your story. I wasn't going to point it out. What I appreciate weird? Okay, actually, okay, So let's just because I thought maybe it passed the Bechdel test because she fought with the female money and that was quite a long time, and that wasn't over a boy. But well, words are not exchanged, which is one of the caveats of the Backdel tests. I mean, they got so closely, just forgot to write lines. Maybe there was some dialogue and it just ended up on the cutting room floor, but that was the only opportunity. There was literally no other women in the movie, not even extra don't even in the crowded scenes. One of those weird Hollywood movies where it's like women don't exist here. Evie is Smurfette, and we don't know, we don't know how this world came to exist. Yeah, right, it's crazy. How did they repopulate are a worms? No, do you think passes the vital test? I would guess not, just to talk to the mom. Oh no, I don't think Aladdin does. Aladdin doesn't. I don't because she's the only girl, right, except for like women in the streets, the ones who are so horny for Aladdin. They're like pushing their tips together and they're like, yeah, but those are just creations of the genie. Those aren't even real women creation. Man, do you think that on the roller coaster of the Return of the Money there it passes the Bechtel tests? Like women on that roller coaster talking about there's no one in on the roller coaster. Except if we were on the roller coaster doing a live podcast, which, hey, let's do it. That roller coaster could pass the vital test if we were not talking about if we weren't gossiping about boys on the money roller coaster. Let's talk about politics, a female politicians. I know that history is not science, technology or mathematics or whatever the E stands for women's STEM, but I want to I'm going to give it to her. I think that Evie is a woman in stem because like for her, she said, well, she's a woman in well, yeah, she's a woman in like sheem but she's history but isn't isn't like anthropology a type of science, like a social science, archeology and any social science. Yes, so it counts. Yeah, well done, totally team effort. I was a doubter, but now I'm a believer. Yeah. Does anyone have any final thoughts about the movie that they want to share? I loved the Return of Jaffar. Was a really fun movie. Unfortunately doesn't pass the Backtel test. But in conclusion, Farrell Fraser ruled, I love Brendan Fraser. I don't love Rick O'Connell. No he's not. Oh my god, he started. It's not his best character for sure. No, No, he's got other characters. Drive to the Jungle. He was a movie called like Bedazzled or something, but like, is that what it's called? Yeah, uh, let's write the movie. I don't know out of what. Oh well, we have a very prestigious and you know it's prestigious when you pronounce it prestigious. A very prestigious rating scale on a zero to five nipple scale. Oh right, right, right, right now, you've listened to an episode. Sorry, um, so we rate the movie based on its portrayal of women on the nipple scale. I will go first, I will give it a two because Evelyn, just isolating her is not a terrible character. I don't especially like her. I'm ever going to be like, oh, my favorite character Evelyn or anything like that. She does contribute to this story generally pretty minimally. But she is probably the smartest character, definitely the most knowledgeable about the things that are happening in the movie and the history that's relevant to the story and everything like that. But she like she keeps being tossed around by men. She's being antagonized by men a lot of the time. She has to be saved a bunch of times, although she does save Brendan Fraser a couple of times. But overall, because she's like the only woman that has any substantial screen time whatsoever, it's just not great, Like let's see more women, Let's give her more women. Let's I don't know, also, like give her maybe a more cathartic moment at the end, like something like a big like oh, I need to last minutes of the movie kill Yeah. So because of that, um yeah, two nipples. They both belong to the young lady at the beginning, the mistress, because I don't know if you can see her nipples or not, but somebody, someone, someone out there, someone has someone, someone's probably joke saw those nips. I'll give it to nipples as well. You pretty much said everything I thought about e V. She's again, as with all summer blockbusters, she's a fine character. There's just no one for her to talk to, and she's assaulted several times, which I think is a pretty consistent feature in blockbusters to this day. I'm going to give my nipples to Farrell Fraser when he's wilder than they're probably frothing those nipples there, they're okay, listen, these nips are foamy. I give it to foamy nips. I'm gonna give it. I honestly, I'm just gonna give it one nip because a movie. I didn't like the movie, and UM, sorry that we made you watch it. It's not your fault. I said I would do it, and I did it, and and I'm giving one nipple simply for the outfits. Um, and I guess I'll give it to the Mummy because he's taken body parts anyways. So yeah, it was how many Nipsey hasn't Yeah, I just get he can go in his collection. He's like ed guyne Georgia. I would just say I would love if this was the point in the podcast where you're like, actually, I think I watched Georgia everything. Oh man, I watched Return of Your Far georg watched Georgia the Jungle. Caitlin did watch The Mommy, which is good, Thank God, thank and Aristotle. Aristotle how much he loved was shouted literally the highlight of the plot, and there was a lot of highlights. Yeah, I've had a great time here today. The best time this is going in the Hall of Fame. This podcast gets five nipples because that's the amount of nipples we gave it. You have another thing also, The Mommy returns gave us the gift of doing the rock Johnson. That's true. That was his breakout role, was it? Yeah? Oh right, he was like a pharaoh, a pharaoh Scorpi king. Wait, that wasn't even Summer also wrote and directed. So this podcast gets five nipples. There's five nipples at this table. I only have one, so it's all good. I lost to pull the frost bite to froth by it. Oh yeah, cracked myself up well known a few weeks if that was actually funny or not, it was. I'm drunk off of this plastic now. You know. We are on your boozy news. We get so wasted so quick. Well hey, speaking of that, let's first of all, Georgian, thank you so much for being here, right, absolutely pleasure, Thank you for having me. Where can people find you online? Um, Georgia Brooks dot com. It's my homepage. Great and um I'm also at Georgia Brooks on all the things. And are you still laughing at frost? Is it frost or did you think my audition was funny? I'm laughing because you said frost bite. Thank god? Thank I mean, like, I couldn't have done it without you. It's true, it's jam was so funny, but then you it. It's like yes and ended is please come see our improv team, the Return of Jafar. Yeah, it's full of lions. It's basically the like our team is called the Return of Jaffar, but we just show up and we watched The Lion King. Absolutely, oh my god. Okay, So your website um oh yeah, and then download your booze your news. It's with me and Blake Wexler and Stephen Ray Morris is our producer, but he's like on it all the time, talking and we get really drunk and then we do the news and I listened to it. It's very funny. It's such a depressing time right now. It's literally the only thing I'm doing right now that I'm proud of. Wow. Yeah, listen to that. Follow that and and follow my cat, follow your Cato spins Joe Joe underscore Sphinx because he's got no fur and he's got a sister named Sage. I'm hooked. Yeah, I'm gonna follow right now. Please do. It's so worth your time. Well, I think we're gonna come away from this better people deaf Yeah, okay, Bud, I'm great. Georgia, thanks again. We'll have you back. This has been a blast. And m hey bye bye bye