Susan Noles & Kathy Swarts Break Down SLOMW Drama, The Bachelorette Pause & More | Golden Hour

00:00:08
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Golden Hour. Thanks to everyone for joining us today. We're actually recording this episode on April first, so happy April Fool's Day. There's two fools during this podcast. Right, speak for.

00:00:22
Speaker 2: Yourself, girlfriend, speak for yourself.

00:00:24
Speaker 1: No fools today, no jokes, no games. But I am actually in Connecticut. I'm in rural Connecticut at a boys boarding school, visiting friends. A friend of mine had surgery and I'm here to help her. The one thing I'm not doing is cooking. Susan, you don't have to ask.

00:00:38
Speaker 2: You're a good friend, Kathy. You're ordering for her.

00:00:41
Speaker 1: I'm ordering for her. Actually, her husband's doing the cooking. But can I just tell you a boys boarding school. They're nine through twelfth graders, and they're like in their ties and their shirts and their blazers. It's just all cleaned up looking hands. I'm so proud. If I had a young daughter, trust me, she'd be here.

00:01:00
Speaker 2: Me With the other hand, I am down in Virginia on Lake Holiday Cross Junction, Virginia with my granddaughter's celebration for her fifth birthday. And my other five year old granddaughter did the road trip with me, so we were hollering at trucks all the way so I'd be on time for this.

00:01:17
Speaker 3: It was really such an ordeal. Yes, well you know.

00:01:20
Speaker 1: We're righty here and we're ready.

00:01:22
Speaker 2: So, Kathy, we were off for an entire week, but you had made a special appearance on Bachelor Happy Hour with Charity.

00:01:35
Speaker 1: I did, and first of all, I love her. She's just incredible and it was, you know, so much fun to catch up with her. I did. I had a great conversation, lots of great conversations with her on Bachelor Happy Hour, mostly about everything happening with Taylor, Frankie Paul if you want to listen to it, it's out there now. We also met some of her great cast. Those guys are incredible and I'm actually curious. I don't know if you listen to the podcast, yeah, because I know you've been busy, But how are you feeling? What do you think about everything that's going on?

00:02:10
Speaker 2: Honestly, I was in shock, first of all when they paused the show and our job right away, because that's what we talk about. That is our life. Bachelor is our life. And I thought for a moment, oh my goodness, what's happening now?

00:02:26
Speaker 3: Like, what are we going to talk about.

00:02:28
Speaker 2: I know I could talk about a ton of things, however, but I was upset and concerned for her, her children, her family. I mean, my empathy is, you know, Kathy works over time, and I know the girl has had some issues. But I did a lot of praying, I really did, to just hope that she gets through this safely and her children stay healthy. Yeah yeah, but I mean I was stup feeling. To be honest, I don't think there's anyone out there. I mean, the Internet can be cruel place where people sit behind their computer and pural insults and accusations. And you know, I said it with Charity on bats or Happy Hour. We don't have the full facts. We don't know what's going on, and obviously, you know, we want her to get the help she needs. We want her kids to be safe. But I wish people would reserve judgment until they know the full story. I really do.

00:03:31
Speaker 1: I can't deny that we're all curious. I personally hope that the show will be able to be aired. I think there's some great guys on the show. I think that based on what I've a little bit I've read and heard from the guys. It was a great show, and I personally want to see it, don't you.

00:03:52
Speaker 3: Absolutely?

00:03:52
Speaker 2: I was looking forward to but us not having a podcast for a week. Wasn't it like, it's not our norm cats, weren't you like, well, well in a certain way.

00:04:03
Speaker 1: Well, what I was feeling was I wanted to talk about all the stuff. But remember I got to because I was with Charity, and I sort of got it.

00:04:11
Speaker 2: But it wasn't ours, Susan.

00:04:15
Speaker 1: I missed you, Darling.

00:04:16
Speaker 2: That's what I want to hear.

00:04:18
Speaker 1: I missed you so much. I love Charity, but I missed you. It wasn't the same. And Happy April Fools.

00:04:26
Speaker 3: She's so mean, Oh my gosh. Movie right along?

00:04:31
Speaker 2: All right, Kathy, let's get into some more bacheloration news. We're going to start with Jesse on call her daddy talking about Taylor Frankie Paul.

00:04:45
Speaker 3: I mean, I was glued.

00:04:47
Speaker 2: I was afraid to breathe that I'd missed something.

00:04:51
Speaker 1: What did you think about? What Jesse said? For those who don't know, Jesse went on call her daddy and spoke about what's been going on and and she says she and Jesse and Taylor Frankie Paul are very good friends. A bestie's from the show from Mormon Wives and apparently her soon to be ex husband that is, Jesse's soon to be ex husband. Jordan and Dakota are best friends, so that obviously brings a lot of conversation around those homes. But what did you think about what she said about her friend?

00:05:27
Speaker 2: She was trying to be there for her. She obviously loves her, and honestly, the first thing I noticed was she is more supported supportive of Taylor than she is her soon to be ex. Well that that said something that spoke volumes to me. I mean, that's a true friendship. But she also, in the same breath said hope, she's hoping it's a wake up call for Taylor and about the kids being safe and just happy and healthy life, like she made sure she had all that. But she's her friend first, and you know, if you you're my bestie. Okay, Kathy, if you knew things about.

00:06:12
Speaker 1: Wait, is that an April Fool's joke?

00:06:14
Speaker 2: Er?

00:06:14
Speaker 1: Do you mean?

00:06:15
Speaker 3: Nah? See, I'm not you. That was real. I forgot what the date.

00:06:20
Speaker 2: Okay, So, Kathy, if you were put on call her daddy and Alex was throwing these questions at you and you're my bestie and I'm going through like what Tailor's going through. How do you control that? That answer like you've got to be I mean.

00:06:37
Speaker 1: I hear you. I think to your point. I think that Jessie said a lot of right things about her friend. She's caught, that Taylor's caught in a toxic cycle. That she hopes they both get the help they need, that she can make a comeback, That she wants her to make sure the kids are taken care of. That all I think, Uh, it doesn't go without saying, but it's what anyone would say, right, friend or foe, you want those things to happen. I found a little interesting that jesse maybe gave a little bit of scoop to the audience. She said that Taylor, she had just spoken to Taylor before she came on I call her dad in podcast and she said, I didn't want to tell anyone the extent of what was going on. And so you know, on my podcast with Charity, they were talking about accountability and I don't know. I don't Again, I find myself thinking, a Taylor's lucky to have a lot of supporters. We all want the best for her too, And I also keep thinking, we don't have all the information. We don't know, right, we don't know what's really going on. I don't know what's going on in Jordan's mind, in Dakota's mind, and we just don't know. And yes, I agree with you, it's one full to have friends.

00:08:01
Speaker 2: But maybe in other words, what I'm hearing you say is she might know a whole lot more detail and didn't spill maybe, which which that's being a friend, right. No, I mean her laundry is out there now. It's poor girl, like her life is inside out. Everybody's chatting and people not everybody has facts. It's a lot of hearsay. It's a lot of you know whose podcast said this, who's whose statement on Instagram said this? And people are running with it. Let's I just give it a beat, as Jesse would call it. I do think.

00:08:37
Speaker 1: I do think that Jesse wittingly or unwillingly gave a great tease for the show because she said that Taylor was a completely different person, that it was such a great experience for her. So even though we're you know, the sandwich, the bread is like a big michigas the center of this sandwich sounds like it would be a really entertaining, fabulous, fun thing to watch, and so you know, I think, I think I want to see it.

00:09:09
Speaker 2: I want to, like you, and I've been saying all along, they went with something totally different, okay, and I think, as you just said, it's going to be interesting, it's going to be entertaining. It's what people want to see. And now for them to pause the show gave me a heart attack, just like all the Machelor Nation fans, and I think even more people are curious to see what it was like on that show with her.

00:09:39
Speaker 3: So I feel like they just have to, they just have to.

00:09:47
Speaker 1: I will tell you something else I found interesting about Jesse's I felt that she was very real. I mean, she clearly is very supportive of her friend and yeay her. You know, we all need friends like that.

00:09:57
Speaker 2: Yes, she stands up for Taylor the whole entire time, and she quotes that she really has changed and she's such a good person. Everybody makes mistakes, but the world doesn't know about everybody's mistakes.

00:10:13
Speaker 1: But I love the fact that she has a friend who supports her. And again, I want to see her get happy, healthy. That's not just a fake thing. I know that's real, that's real. I want her to find love. I want her to be happy. I want her kids to be happy.

00:10:31
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

00:10:32
Speaker 2: And also, Kathy, did you notice her saying that the whole group message thing after she got off the phone with Taylor, she the group message started, and all these women or ladies, girls, I want to call them girls, because they're all so young, they're all supportive, they're all hoping for the best. They're there for her, they're there for Taylor. So now can I just side point for a second. Cat She talked about the how they're family to her. That hit home because that's exactly how we feel. Our producers for our podcasts, our producers when we did the show. They do become part of your life. And she said how wonderful they were watching them go through this, and because they're taking a beat.

00:11:21
Speaker 3: But I just just wanted to mention that, Yeah, and I got to say beautiful.

00:11:26
Speaker 1: I got to say, our producers on this podcast, our producers on the show, my producers on on Bats were in paradise, they're the best. So yes, that is our shut up for producers and people. You need to know that they are the best. YEP, I mean They all swore they were going to find me a date, and they never have. But that's just a detail. Okay, we are going to move in to a little thing we're gonna call Golden Hotline. Okay, you know that. Every week we answer questions from listeners. You and I love doing that. We get them are I'm gonna say, expert Golden advice. Even if it's not an expert, we have something to say about everything.

00:12:07
Speaker 3: It's called an opinion.

00:12:08
Speaker 1: It's an opinion, it's a golden opinion. There you go, a Golden Opinion segment. Okay, Susan, you want to start us off?

00:12:14
Speaker 3: I sure will.

00:12:15
Speaker 2: Okay, first one, Hello, Susan and Kathy. I am a big fan of you guys. I love all of the Bachelor franchise. Let me get to the point. So all of my friends are either getting boyfriends or had boyfriends, and I'm the only one who has not had or been in a relationship. I try not to make me feel sad, but sometimes it does. I was wondering what advice do you fabulous girls have for me? And I love you guys. Hayley, she just didn't get there yet. I don't know how old she is so hmm, so, Hayley, we.

00:13:02
Speaker 1: Don't know how old you are. If you're seventeen, give.

00:13:06
Speaker 3: It me, give it a bed.

00:13:08
Speaker 1: That's our phrase for today, give it a new word. If if you rush, and I don't care really what age you are, don't settle. Don't rush into a relationship because that's not going to work for you. And I remember when my daughter who didn't get married till I think she was thirty four, and she used to say, you know, went's at my turn, wents at my turn? And I said. I used to say to her, you know, some of your friends who got married young, they're going to be getting divorced because they know, because that's a fact.

00:13:40
Speaker 2: How fatsy, you got married very young and you did not get a divorce, You didn't finished.

00:13:46
Speaker 1: It doesn't always mean that, but the percentages of marriages fifty percent. I think it's gone down a little bit. My point is if you you don't marry before you're ready, you don't get into a relationship for you're ready. I would say, Haley. The advice I always give to single people, do the things you like, go to the places, get involved in activities, and the right people will come into your life.

00:14:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she just says it makes me feel sad. Well, you know what, that's a normal thing. There's nothing wrong with you feeling sorry for yourself a little bit. And the right one hasn't come yet. When he does, you're going to look back and say, why was I worried? But you feel like you're the only one that has it, and I totally understand it.

00:14:33
Speaker 3: Your normal life is good.

00:14:36
Speaker 2: I wish you told me how old you were, because my advice might be different.

00:14:40
Speaker 3: You know, would it?

00:14:41
Speaker 1: Though my advice would not be different, Susan, It doesn't matter.

00:14:45
Speaker 2: Like if you were thirty something, then there's that's a little something that you've never ever kissed a man or been in a relationship. Yeah, that would be a different conversation.

00:14:57
Speaker 1: Okay, what would your advice be if I want to know why?

00:15:01
Speaker 2: Maybe you should be looking for the same sex, Like maybe that's.

00:15:05
Speaker 1: Not your thing, man, Maybe she has bad breath.

00:15:08
Speaker 3: That could be I mean, I don't know. Therapy would be involved.

00:15:11
Speaker 2: But no, right now, for what you told us, honey, it's all good.

00:15:14
Speaker 3: It'll happen.

00:15:16
Speaker 1: And hey, right us back in, Yeah, right us, back in. Let us know how old you are if you but I'm telling you get out and get involved. Do not sit on your sofa waiting for mister Wright to knock on your front door, because I promise you I've tried that and he has not come a knock and it.

00:15:31
Speaker 3: Just doesn't come. But we don't know.

00:15:33
Speaker 2: She might be out and about and just like we said, hadn't met the right one yet.

00:15:36
Speaker 3: But you will you all.

00:15:37
Speaker 1: Right, We're gonna move on. This question is from Mikayla A Hi, Susan and Kathy love listening to the podcast. It's refreshing to hear your perspective on life. I'm struggling to figure out if my marriage is something I should keep fighting for or if it's time to walk away. How do you actually know when you're ready for divorce versus just going through a hard season. I feel stuck in the middle and can't seem to make a clear decision. Thank you, ladies.

00:16:09
Speaker 2: Oh who are we to tell her where the walks? For me, it's the word respect. When you lose respect for your partner, that's something that's hard to get back. Like your pros and cons list, you could write those all day long, but we aren't here to say when it's time when you've had enough and you don't have enough respect for your spouse, then it's only fair to end it.

00:16:45
Speaker 1: So you and I've had this conversation before. I agree with you, but I take it to another level. I think when anyone says to you, A friend comes to you and says, you know, I'm not sure. I'm not feeling it in my marriage. In my mind, there are already one foot out the door.

00:17:05
Speaker 3: They are at that.

00:17:06
Speaker 1: So, Mikayla, I feel like you might be one foot out the door already. How do you know when you're ready for divorce? That even just the way you phrased it, Mikayla, you didn't say I'm not happy in my marriage? Should I try counseling? Should I have? Have you talked with your husband about these issues? You don't see any of that? You say, I'm just.

00:17:30
Speaker 2: A hard it's a hard line, am I right? We do go through those in marriage. You do have hard times. Sometimes people call it the seven years or the ten year this or whatever, and and marriage does struggle.

00:17:44
Speaker 3: It's a hard job.

00:17:46
Speaker 1: But but wait, if someone you're right, and marriage takes a lot.

00:17:51
Speaker 3: Love heart. She says that, I love when I.

00:17:54
Speaker 1: Say you're right. Yeah, remember it's April fools. Do you just call me a bitch? Yeah?

00:18:02
Speaker 3: I did?

00:18:03
Speaker 2: Okay, friend noment like they're the things.

00:18:08
Speaker 1: My point is all again, Michaela, we don't know you, we don't have all the information here, and neither one of us are therapists, and that is that is the truth. But I think the way you're phrasing this, I would say to you, Michaela, you need to do a little work around what you want out of a marriage. What are you willing to put in, What kind of sacrifices are you willing to make? Have you tried therapy? Have you talked with your spouse? Because here's why I'm going to tell you, Mikayla, the rose always loses some of its pedals, and it's up to both of you to make your marriage exciting fun. It's not every day is not going to be a thrill a minute. It's not. But if you're bored or you're tired of marriage, you're as responsible for it as your husband is. So I would heard you to the way you're going to know if you're done with your marriage is if you put some work into it, and that's not just sitting around saying, okay, another day's past. Marriage is work. And anyone who tells you marriage is a breeze, it's you know, it's a piece of cake. They're lying to you. They are lying.

00:19:19
Speaker 2: It's always fun at the beginning. It's called the lust love and that's my favorite time. But she's saying I should keep fighting or time to walk away? So are you fighting? That's the question you ask yourself. And I really, Mikayla, want to know. Did you and your husband have this conversation?

00:19:40
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's what I have. You had the conversation with you and and fighting. I don't even like that term fighting. Holp about I'm working really hard? Are you? I don't know. That's why I say, Mikayla, I think I would do a little self reflection here. I'd have a conversation with your husband. And I always say, get some counseling. If you really want to work on the marriage, don't go into counseling as a box check. Yep, you know, I went to counseling. It's didn't work. Now we're getting divorced. If that's your attitude, it's never going to work. So, you know what, I believe marriages can be revived. I believe that you can fall in love again. As Susan's the hopeless romantic, I'm the hopeful romantic. You can rebuild your marriage. It's how much work you want to put into it. And I, for one, wish you the best. I wish that you find a way.

00:20:29
Speaker 2: And also keep in mind at old saying that grass isn't always greener on the other side, and don't want you to regret anything.

00:20:40
Speaker 3: Thank you long and hard and pray about it.

00:20:43
Speaker 2: Man.

00:20:43
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:20:44
Speaker 1: And by the way, just so you know, MICHAELA, you take the person you are. You take that without therapy, without really self reflection. You will take the good and the bad parts of you to your next laelationship. So Susan's right, the grass isn't greener necessarily, and you know you take who you are to the next relationship, so do.

00:21:09
Speaker 2: So both have to be willing to work on That's something before you give up. Yeah, that's thank you, Thanks for sharing it. Let us know, let us know we have time for one more.

00:21:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do another one?

00:21:20
Speaker 3: Sure, all right ahead, Hi, ladies.

00:21:23
Speaker 2: I recently welcomed my daughter the inn emergency C section requiring blood transfusions in November, five days after the traumatic delivery, my mom passed away from a heart attack at fifty two with no warning signs. Wow. She was at my house just hours before, visiting the new baby and my two year old son. She was my best friend and a huge part of my village. I feel like I have done at everything I am supposed to do, leaning on my husband and others during my physical recovery, oh boy, my heart to bleeding already, counseling for my emotion my emotional recovery, joined the local moms group, define community with other moms, and serving at my church in the programs that have helped me. Kathy, she did everything that you were thinking.

00:22:23
Speaker 3: I know it.

00:22:24
Speaker 2: I have a wonderful life and so much to be grateful for, but I am still deeply sad at my unexpected loss. Do you have any advice to help with losing your parent? So suddenly I am feeling discouraged that I have done everything I could think of, but still feel deeply sad three months later.

00:22:47
Speaker 1: Can I take this one? Sure you can, so I'm trying not to cry on this one.

00:22:52
Speaker 3: I know it's normal.

00:22:54
Speaker 1: It's first of all, Yeah, Page, let me say to you I hate to say this to you, but three months it's nothing. But first I want to commend you, Page for everything you've done. You have Susan's right. I would say that to you. You've done everything right. You do have a lot to be grateful for. Life sometimes just gives us a shitty hand, and but you are trying to focus on the right things. So good for you. It's okay. You know, when I did my grief therapy, I felt like I should feel a certain way. Your feelings, Paige, are your feelings, and they're they're they're not. You should not feel diminished or discouraged. But you can feel any way you want. Understand, these things take time. It takes so much time, and you are going to feel deeply sad for a long time. I will tell you these little pithy quotes that people told me, but one sticks in my mind. Page. The only way to get through grief is to walk through it. And that's what you're doing. You're walking through it, and I can tell you you know it's going to get easier. I know that that doesn't help you. Today. Try try just to get through minute by minute today, Tomorrow, focus on that sweet baby and Kathy.

00:24:23
Speaker 2: When she writes it was like days after, five days after. Imagine your hormonal your hormones and your body are raising when you have a baby. Just having a baby and the blood transfusion. That was dramatic, all of it. And then you lose fifty two years old. That's not normal. I know everybody knows you're going to lose your parents eventually, but at fifty two that doesn't even enter your mind.

00:24:52
Speaker 3: Good.

00:24:53
Speaker 1: Let me just say I'm rereading the question though I'm not sure page you're doing a lot. You're giving a lot. You're giving a lot to your husband, your child, your community, church, your mom group at church, serving the church programs. Who's feeding you?

00:25:15
Speaker 2: She's trying to go to these places for her emotion I'm.

00:25:18
Speaker 1: Saying, is she getting counseling? Is she getting where she's not doing for others someone's doing for her. I would say, Paige, you might need a little bit more of that.

00:25:29
Speaker 2: You know, Oh, she gets counseling for her emotional recovery and from the church, then join the local mom's group. You know, when you find others in your same situation, you're doing everything and canny too much. As Cathy said, you walk through it. You can't run. Time does heal, it softens it. You're always going to feel sad when you think of your mom and you loved her. Soon it's only three months, but soon you start thinking of all the wonderful moments you had with her and think of the positive thoughts when your mom was here.

00:26:06
Speaker 3: And that's pretty much.

00:26:08
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean when you say do you have any help, page, that help is you have to live in it, you have to feel it. And I just hope you're taking care of yourself. You know, put your feet up, take a nap, don't do what other people tell you should do you know what you're feeling. There's no time. That's the other thing page. There's no timeline for these things. There's what works for one person doesn't work for another person. Be good to yourself, give yourself some grace, give yourself a break.

00:26:38
Speaker 2: Yes, And I sometimes you said, Kathy, walk through it.

00:26:42
Speaker 3: It doesn't go away to her.

00:26:43
Speaker 1: Trust me, I tried to run through it. You don't.

00:26:46
Speaker 2: And ladies and gentlemen everybody out there listening, you too, can submit your burning questions to us. At All you have to do is go to Bachelor Nation dot com slash Golden Hour. We come back every week and when you submit yours, keep coming back to see if we get to answer yours.

00:27:06
Speaker 3: That's what this is about.

00:27:07
Speaker 1: It is but also we love updates. So Paige, we'd love to know how you're doing. Hayley, we want to know if you've met your guy, we want to know, So guys, give us your updates. We really do want to hear how you're.

00:27:21
Speaker 2: Doing, right, Mikayla, everybody?

00:27:24
Speaker 1: So, I don't know, Susan. This has been really it's been a great podcast because we got to answer some questions for our listeners.

00:27:32
Speaker 2: Kathy wait, Wait, Kathy wait, it's a great podcast because we're doing one.

00:27:37
Speaker 3: I had a week off and I wasn't on vacation.

00:27:39
Speaker 2: Like I missed this.

00:27:41
Speaker 1: Go cut somebody's hair and you'll feel better. But I don't know for me all of this that's going on in real time with Taylor, Frankie Paul. I know that people are scouring the internet. They're trying to find out. I just I want people to be a little kinder. Am I asking too much?

00:27:59
Speaker 3: No?

00:27:59
Speaker 2: No, you're not, and that have did we not come off our show saying just be kind? The world would be such a better place, no matter what it is or who it is.

00:28:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, just be kind.

00:28:12
Speaker 2: You want to treat people like you want to be treated. Put yourself in her shoes.

00:28:15
Speaker 1: It's all those adages like, yeah, we don't all the truth. There's two sides to every story, all those adages, those pithy quotes that we've heard since we were kids, it all applies here. Treat others the way you'd like to be treated.

00:28:30
Speaker 2: And Kathy, I want to say one more thing that you said that I give you kudos. I'm telling you when she comes out and speaks, You're right. Everything is out in the open. There are no more secrets. If that's not something to help you take the next step forward and put this shit behind you and move on with your life.

00:28:55
Speaker 1: Thank you all for joining us. We are so glad to be back. I hope you enjoyed listening to us as much as we enjoyed being here. So Bachelor Golden Hour, we are back.

00:29:07
Speaker 2: Yes, and make sure to rate us, review us, and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:29:14
Speaker 1: And you can follow us on social media at Bachelor Happy Hour and Bachelor Nation.

00:29:21
Speaker 2: And you can't get rid of us.

00:29:22
Speaker 3: So we'll see you next time.

00:29:23
Speaker 1: Until next week, have a good week.