From the Streets of Uganda to Saving Lives: Peter Mutabazi’s Journey of Hope, Family & Second Chances

[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's so important for people to understand where you came from and why you do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm originally from Uganda, so I grew up who are all the poorest.
[SPEAKER_00]: The only meal we had was once every other day and we would have beans and potatoes.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all I had.
[SPEAKER_00]: For me, on one side I had poverty, on the other, I had a mean that.
[SPEAKER_00]: For every abuse I received, my mother received the same.
[SPEAKER_00]: So at age of 10, I was like, you know what, I went to the bus station and I asked the lady, hey, of all these buses, which one goes the farthest.
[SPEAKER_01]: How did you survive on the street?
[SPEAKER_00]: One day, I'm trying to steal from someone.
[SPEAKER_00]: This person just looked at me and said, hey, hey, what's your name?
[SPEAKER_00]: And one day he said, hey, pizza.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you had an up to go school, would you love to go to school?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I loved that he was like, you're the dumbest human being I've ever met.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, you are a foster dad, you've adopted kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: How many kids have you fostered at this point?
[SPEAKER_00]: 43.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you have a limit on how many kids you want to adopt in the future?
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you date?
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome back to Misunderstood.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host, Rachel, you could tell.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me introduce you to Peter Mutebazi, a dedicated advocate and influential voice in the world of foster care.
[SPEAKER_01]: His story is one of remarkable resilience and compassion.
[SPEAKER_01]: Peter himself once experienced the hardships of being a homeless child in Uganda.
[SPEAKER_01]: But he overcame those challenges and has now become a devoted foster parent and mentor.
[SPEAKER_01]: He's fostered over 40 children.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's unbelievable.
[SPEAKER_01]: His mission is to inspire others to see the foster care system as a powerful way to change lives, especially for vulnerable children who need love, support, and stability.
[SPEAKER_01]: Peter's tireless work not only emphasizes the importance of fostering, but also demonstrates the profound difference one person can make in shaping the future of countless young lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to check out his Instagram, foster dad, Slipper.
[SPEAKER_01]: You will be astounded of what
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm excited for you to meet Peter Motabazi.
[SPEAKER_01]: Peter, thank you so much for joining me today on misunderstood.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so excited to have you here.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I am excited to be here as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you could choose me to read to be on it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, so yeah, I was looking through my Instagram one day a long time ago and came across your feed and then started following you and have sort of followed your story throughout and found you to be so fascinating when I found out your backstory and why you became a foster and adoptive parent.
[SPEAKER_01]: So do you mind if we start there because I think it's so important for people to understand where you came from and why you do this?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, absolutely, you know, we do what we do, sometimes because of the gen we've traveled.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, yeah, so I'm originally from Uganda.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I grew up who are all the poorest.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's really hard to explain to an American what all but you sometimes really is.
[SPEAKER_00]: But think about like, you grew up, but you never had two meals a day for most of your child life, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: I did not have a name until when I was two years old.
[SPEAKER_00]: why?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because for every 100 children were born in my village, six they would die for the age of two.
[SPEAKER_00]: So most moms didn't name their kids, until they were two.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I too, that's when I was giving them.
[SPEAKER_00]: But also for moms to think about it, they're like, if you can't feed your child for a day, you know, like, how do you tell them to dream?
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you?
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you inspire them when you can't beat them?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that was really my life, poor before us.
[SPEAKER_00]: We went to fetch water three to four miles away.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, the only meal we had was once every other day and we would have beans and potatoes.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all I had.
[SPEAKER_00]: The only two days in 365 days, I had a different meal was Christmas.
[SPEAKER_00]: So Christmas we had chicken.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I grew up knowing that Christmas was about chicken and Easter we had beef.
[SPEAKER_00]: So
[SPEAKER_00]: Those of the only two days in my entire life as a teen and a little boy, I had, then at age of four, I began to realize that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not only were poor, but my dad was the most abusive human being you could imagine.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, on one side, I had poverty on the other, I had a mean dad.
[SPEAKER_00]: So there wasn't a place to hide.
[SPEAKER_00]: Outside, it was, of course, as a poor kid, then inside the house, it was just mean in every way shit for me, you could imagine.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then on the other hand, I had one parent that loved me, but she could not protect me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because for every abuse I received, my mother received the same.
[SPEAKER_00]: And most of the time, she received their abuse because of the assets kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Think of this way.
[SPEAKER_00]: When she would go to my dad and say, the kids have an eating, would you give them something eat?
[SPEAKER_00]: She would get the beatings for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So as a kid, you learn and watch your needs, put your mom in trouble.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the guilt of that comes with that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So at age of 10, I was like, you know what?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna die anyway.
[SPEAKER_00]: But why should I give my father the opportunity to kill me?
[SPEAKER_00]: So I had never been 20 miles away from my village.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I went to the bus station and I asked the lady, hey, all these buses, which one goes the farthest, and the lady said that one, I got on that bus and I ran away.
[SPEAKER_00]: Never been 20 miles away and I went 500 kilometers away.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it wasn't Rachel.
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't like I was looking for a better future.
[SPEAKER_00]: For me, my head was, I would rather die, but die in the hands of a stranger that my father.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that was the reason why I was running away.
[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, you know, my only option, you know, when I arrived in Campano, was to be a street kid.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I became a street kid from the age of 10 to the age of 16.
[SPEAKER_01]: So when you were leaving, was it hard for you to leave your mother knowing that you were leaving her
[SPEAKER_00]: I think for me, you know, the idea was deaf.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I wasn't really, you know, I loved my mom, but I just didn't wanna see all their views, but also the pain, the for me, yes, it was hard to leave my mom, I didn't my siblings as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: But somehow I could not take it anymore, you know, I'm the oldest of five.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think the older you are, the more you understand the pain.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, I was like, I can't deal with this.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yes, I felt guilty,
[SPEAKER_01]: So your story gets more interesting after you got become a street kid, but I just do want to ask did you ever I mean, I don't know how it works, could you call them on the phone?
[SPEAKER_01]: Did you ever find out what happened to your father?
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you speak to your mother?
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you talk to your siblings?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, at this time, of course, as a street kid, you know, you're treating, I don't know, for most of your viewers, hopefully they've been to the third world countries.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: But as a street kid, you're treating more like a straight animal, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that's how I slept in the sewer, why?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because the sewer smells so bad that no other human beings can go.
[SPEAKER_00]: But for us as a street kid, that was a safe place to be, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: I was never caught a name, why?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because they treated me like garbage.
[SPEAKER_00]: So there wasn't
[SPEAKER_00]: opportunity to connect back home.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't remember.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was 500 miles away by then.
[SPEAKER_00]: They went on phones or anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I mean, Uganda then was in the worst position.
[SPEAKER_00]: They were not phones.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, they were not phones available during that time.
[SPEAKER_01]: So they were not listening to this day.
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you never seen your family again?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, well, no, I'm 19.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went back home.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, so I'm 19.
[SPEAKER_00]: I went back to see my mom and dad.
[SPEAKER_00]: And now I get to see them and they're doing well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So continue with your story because it's so fascinating.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you became a street kid.
[SPEAKER_01]: How did you survive on the streets?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, on the streets like, you know, think of it as a street key, like, you abuse in every shape form you can imagine, things I can already describe here.
[SPEAKER_00]: But when you're seen as an animal, when you're treated like a lesser human being, I mean, at home I wish I was dead the next day on the streets.
[SPEAKER_00]: I just wish I was dead the next hour because that house severe the abuse was from adults.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that became my life.
[SPEAKER_00]: So finally, as street kids, we learnt how to survive, still what you're helping.
[SPEAKER_00]: we would steal while we are carrying people's food because it was easy to steal food that money because most people did make a dollar debt.
[SPEAKER_00]: So one day I'm trying to steal from someone and this human being or this person you know just looked at me and said hey kid what's your name and that really rattled me he's why Rachel for everyone who was kind was abusive so for
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're kind, that means you're gonna harm me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So my whole thought was run for your life, but before I could run, he'd give me something to eat.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so he left, you know, did that scare me?
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely, it was the next day it comes back.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, he'd give me something to eat.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I saw the pattern on what day's it would come and that day I didn't have to steal.
[SPEAKER_00]: So he fed me for one year and a half and one day he said, hey, pizza, if you had an optical school, would you love to go to school?
[SPEAKER_00]: And I loved it.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was like, you, you're the dumbest human being I've ever met.
[SPEAKER_00]: He's why.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you're street keyed abuse every night, like, do you ever think of going to school?
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I wouldn't think so.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it's like me asking you Rachel.
[SPEAKER_00]: They are sending people to the moon.
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you like to go like, how many nights do you go to bed, say, man, I wish I could go to the moon.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's five days as a kid, the same.
[SPEAKER_00]: Going to school, you knew only those who have mom and dad, only those who are hopeful.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, only those who want to see the future for me, I didn't want to see the future.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was just terrible every day and I thought the next day will be the same.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, I was like never forgetting.
[SPEAKER_00]: So he let it go.
[SPEAKER_00]: And next time he comes back, he said, hey, if you go to school, there'll be lines, dinner and breakfast, I was like, what time do we go?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, because for me, the attraction was food and I had never heard of a place where you can have three meals.
[SPEAKER_00]: So when he said, can we, you know,
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to test you, but I also don't believe there's a place you can have three meals and show enough.
[SPEAKER_00]: He put him in a boarding school and that's how he changed my life.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't, I mean, I'm sort of speechless about this.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, so some the kindness of some stranger that wanted to have give you an opportunity to have a better life is what you found.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, but it wasn't even that.
[SPEAKER_00]: The
[SPEAKER_00]: He saw a thief, but he didn't treat me as a thief, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: No, why?
[SPEAKER_01]: Why do you think you stood out to him as someone with potential?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't because maybe I showed up every time I was there.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe there's something that he saw in me.
[SPEAKER_00]: He said, you know, this kid has a potential.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to give that to this kid.
[SPEAKER_00]: But, but he's a thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't know that I had potential ever.
[SPEAKER_00]: No one had ever seen it to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, these are the words that I had from my father every day.
[SPEAKER_00]: Peter, you never meant anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: Peter, you useless and worthless.
[SPEAKER_00]: Peter, I wish you were never born so I didn't have to feed you.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I heard.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I believe those.
[SPEAKER_01]: So how do you even go to boarding school and not have any education before that?
[SPEAKER_01]: How hard was that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, that was difficult.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it was the food that made me walk hard to get to stay because I had never had consistent food, but now that I saw food came lunchtime breakfast and dinner, now it became my goal to keep the meal.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that meant if I want to go to school, I went to school.
[SPEAKER_00]: I never had a pair of shoes before then, you know.
[SPEAKER_00]: So from the age of zero to
[SPEAKER_00]: for almost 16, I never had a pair of shoes, but I wore those pair of shoes he gave me because I thought if I can wear these shoes, they would give me food, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: If I can perform better in school, they would give me food.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's really the one thing I like the most is the one thing that helped me to stay and work hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But also, not only did he just take me to school, you know, after a four month he invited me in his home.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for the first time, I saw a family that had together, I saw a man who wasn't mean.
[SPEAKER_00]: I saw a man who was kind.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for the first time, I saw something I wanted to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, if there's someone I want to be, I want to be like him.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I knew he was educated.
[SPEAKER_00]: I knew he was kind.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so by doing what he thought I could do, is really what inspired me to do better and to go beyond what I thought I could ever be.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm curious, was he the person that you looked up to, almost like a father figure or a parent?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or did you also find in your boarding school some teachers or older people that stood out to you and really helped you and took you under their wing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, the teachers, I remember I had no formal education, but also it might be heavy as a street kid.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, horrible, you know, I didn't know the rules, I didn't know the boundaries, you know, stealing for me was just as as breathing.
[SPEAKER_00]: He hadn't anything to do it, but but these teachers never saw the worst in me.
[SPEAKER_00]: They never kicked me out, so they always believed in me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Every time I got an F, they will say, Peter, well done, I'm like, wait, wait.
[SPEAKER_00]: how, you know, but because they kept using words of affirmation that that really helped me to build me to believe in that, like, well, if they think I'm smarter, maybe I can get a D, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: And if I got a D, you know, they would still be kind of like, maybe I can get a C.
[SPEAKER_00]: and he threw the kinds of words that they used that I never had before.
[SPEAKER_00]: And being gentle and kind, I'm not always seeing the worst in me, but always seeing the best in me, that really helped me excel and do better.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to stay.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yes, the teachers, but also him, because he always came, and he always brought me to his home every Sunday, just to get to know him.
[SPEAKER_00]: So now I had something to dream for, because I had never seen a kind man, but I was kind.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I saw he can come home and sit home and they have food.
[SPEAKER_00]: I never had that with my father.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I thought, listen, if it want to be successful, he's showing me how.
[SPEAKER_00]: So my standards have become, I want to be like him.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's really what helped me excel.
[SPEAKER_00]: That he just didn't drop me at school.
[SPEAKER_00]: But even he brought me in his personal life.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's really what helped me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so did you end up graduating from high school?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I say New Canas, so I graduated high school, and then I went to University of Uganda, and then I went, I got a scholarship to go study in England, and then that's how I came to United States.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, all of the educated through the kindness of our stranger, who saw the best in me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, and you obviously liked school, you liked learning.
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely, because I so how if I can go, you know, and how if I can take you, you know, again, I'm the oldest or five and my siblings have all gone through university, not because they could do it, but I think he's the so they example they are like, if Peter can do it, we can do that as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: but I could not also take them away from my family.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, so I thought the best way I can be there for my siblings is to give them what I was given.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I worked so hard to make sure that they also went to school because it was the only way I can young them out of their views from my family.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right, right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, okay, so what were your first jobs?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, did what did you do to make money when you were younger?
[SPEAKER_00]: So most of the time I would, when I was younger, when he took me in, he would give me opportunities to wash cars.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I would wash all the family cars, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: I would contribute in their family like if they needed cleaning, anything they needed or planting things, all the gut and stuff, like I would do all that.
[SPEAKER_00]: In some way, I think in my head, I thought, if I can do what they asked me, maybe they will still be my friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe they want young, the things they have given me.
[SPEAKER_00]: but also at school.
[SPEAKER_00]: So instead of going for holidays for me, I'll stay at school and work as security, you know, as a guy dinner.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's because I didn't have a family to go to only them.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I found ways of, you know, as a street kid, I think you work so hard for three.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you find out, you can actually earn.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was like more natural for me to find what easy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: And when you were studying and in school, did you think you wanted to be something in particular that you were studying for?
[SPEAKER_01]: Did you, did you, did you have aspirations all of a sudden and goals?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you know, my first degree was international business administration.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I wanted to learn business, you know, from an international way, you know, I saw how Uganda was with Kenya and Tanzania.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, if I can understand how to market and work for companies that are outside, you know, sort of outside Uganda that I would do so then when I went to England, I wanted to study rice management.
[SPEAKER_00]: because I lived in a war zone, you know, Sudan, Uganda, wander, you know, in a place where there was always astrocious of wars.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I thought if I can have good education, but I think I can work in charities that really bring peace and help during crisis.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what I started at university in England.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, wow.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So then after you graduate, what was next for you?
[SPEAKER_01]: Where did you go?
[SPEAKER_00]: So I didn't remember when you come from my village, you kind of think life in a small way, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: But I met two Americans who were walking in a refugee doing the Sudan walk.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I walked with them for a few months and one day they said, you know, Peter, you're really good with kids on how you walk with them, on how you see the best in them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you should really focus on walking with charities that walk with kids like really.
[SPEAKER_00]: and showing off, I found like, hey, I can do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I worked for International Committee of Radio Cross and then worked for Compassion International and then worked for World Vision.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, that I wanted to give hope the same way someone had given me, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: And for me, working for charities that were working with children, I felt like that's a place I belonged.
[SPEAKER_00]: But also that I had more value I can add from what I had gone through as a child, also to show the impact of when we, when we
[SPEAKER_00]: on how far we can take them.
[SPEAKER_01]: So what was, so when we find you now, you know, you are a foster dad, you've adopted kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: Tell me how you got to decide that this was something you wanted to do and what was the first moment that you were like, okay, I need to figure out how to become, I assume the first one was a foster or was it an adopted kid?
[SPEAKER_01]: Tell me what happened there.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, so when I first, my first time in the United States, like I think I struggled with seeing the wealth, you know, I didn't see, you know, my first day in the restaurant, I walked in and, you know, they gave me food and I ate everything, but then I realized that food was being thrown away because people didn't finish their food and for me that bothered me like, wait a minute, other people are dying for lack of beans and potatoes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Food is,
[SPEAKER_00]: being thrown away.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that really made me question my existence, especially in the United States.
[SPEAKER_00]: So then I go to learn that there are kids in the United States who go home hungry.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, how can we throw, who do we, but yet there are kids in a neighborhood that have nowhere to go.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I have travel over the world, but I never seen a black person who was adapting in Uganda or in Ethiopia or in China They were always Caucasian and married.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was black and single.
[SPEAKER_00]: So in my mind I believe the lie like I thought you have to be white you have to be married because that's all I saw as You know what what I traveled so for me I knew there was no way so I walked into the first case system and I said hey, I would like to mentor teenagers
[SPEAKER_01]: So then the social work just to spend time with them and mentor them and hang out with them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, just mentor them.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, like, if they need to eat, if they need to go buy something like I can do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But the social work who received me said, hey, have you ever thought of being a force that I was like, Yeah, I've thought about it, but I'm single.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not called, you know, I don't qualify.
[SPEAKER_00]: She said, hey, no, 30% of our force appearance are single.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you can be a little bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was a Monday.
[SPEAKER_00]: On Thursday, I began the classes to be a forespirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: So my whole goal was to be a forespirit.
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't really a adaption.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was, if I can be there for kids, while mom and dad are getting together, and they go back, that'll be the greatest gifts I can give them back.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, once I knew, I kind of was like, okay, where do I sign up?
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was really my kind of my trigger.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_00]: What's the trend?
[SPEAKER_01]: So, okay, so what are the credentials and classes and things people have to do to qualify to be a foster parent?
[SPEAKER_00]: So, one, you have to be at least 21 and more stead.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you have to be 21.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to have insurance, you have to have your job.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you take care of yourself because they don't want you to depend on the children, but you take care of yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to rent or own a home, but so long as you have a safe home, a vets rented, or you own it, and there's extra bedroom for the kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: The other part is to do the training, you know, you go through, you have to be licensed, you know, some say take 10 weeks or 10 classes, so each depends on where you are.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you take classes, it's all you have, you have to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then they have to do the background check, they have to, you know, time every stone about your life and think out if you're fit to be a parent.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's all that really takes kindness, loving children, and winning to give kids the best you can.
[SPEAKER_01]: So at the moment, the first time you were doing it where what state were you living in.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was living in Denver, Colorado.
[SPEAKER_00]: So once I wanted to really be, you know, I knew I could not take on a full-time job, you know, and still be a false friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, you know what?
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna be my own boss.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I moved to Oklahoma to be to flip houses because I could be my own boss as a single dad at the same time be a false dad.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's what I'm moving and that's where I started to be a false friend.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for the first 12 children I had, we're all from Oklahoma.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, wait, this is fascinating.
[SPEAKER_01]: So how long did the course take you?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you said, it started on Thursday, how long until you graduated?
[SPEAKER_00]: So it took only, maybe two months, three months, how long did it took?
[SPEAKER_00]: Before me, I had to, you know, Ramonio Bachelet, your house is kind of Bachelet life.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I wanted to make it keep friendly.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it took me about five to six months to get all that ready.
[SPEAKER_00]: And after six months, I was licensed and the first day I had my first child.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's that quick.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not waiting around for all this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So when you're a foster kid, I mean, foster parent, how does it work?
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you saying, here's the sex that I prefer here.
[SPEAKER_01]: The age as I prefer, or you just get what is in need.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, you know, so for me, I like to be licensed through private agency.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they build a profile for you.
[SPEAKER_00]: You say, hey, I'm waiting to take a kid between four and ten, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: For me, I want to take kids who can talk and dress themselves and go to school, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: two, I'm a single parent so I could not take kids who need water fragile, need more, you know, medication like I could not do.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, hey, I cannot do this, you know.
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't know I could be a dad to teach me, so I said, no teenagers, I cannot do it, you know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, I'm a single single dad, so I say, I prefer boys rather than
[SPEAKER_00]: girls.
[SPEAKER_00]: But those are just parameters you put, but usually you don't get what you ask for.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because, you know, sometimes you say I want a five year old, but they have a brother who's 12 years old, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you can put just suggestion like boundaries, but but usually they will try to feed in those if you're not too strict of what you want.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you say, hey, I want a five year old
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: I see what you're saying.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, and if you're, if you're licensed or is that the word licensed in Oklahoma, does that mean you're only getting kids from Oklahoma so that you can continue them in the same schools obviously stuff like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
[SPEAKER_00]: So your license by two agencies, your county and your state.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're private, you are licensed by the state.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're local, you're licensed by the county.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you choose which one you want.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you can only be, you can only take a child within where your license, if it's county, only counted.
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's state,
[SPEAKER_00]: you can take any chart from anywhere in the same state.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, license don't switch or don't transfer.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can only get a license by one state.
[SPEAKER_01]: And is the license just to be a foster pair?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or does that mean you can also be applying for adoptive kids?
[SPEAKER_01]: my using might.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's for only.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's so it's only for it's it's nice and to be a forceman.
[SPEAKER_00]: So what the adoption then they change agencies.
[SPEAKER_00]: So no longer are you under the the force care, but now you're under the adoption agency.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's totally different.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So let's talk about foster care.
[SPEAKER_01]: Who are the typical children that are coming to a complete stranger?
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes in the middle of the night from foster care.
[SPEAKER_01]: How does that work?
[SPEAKER_00]: So it happens in different ways.
[SPEAKER_00]: Most term is what happens to the parents.
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes if there is an accident on the highway and they whether the kids survive, but the parents didn't survive, those kids go to their taken by DSS.
[SPEAKER_00]: So then they have to find a home for them to be that night as they look for the next of the kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, for the parents.
[SPEAKER_00]: Or sometimes drugs.
[SPEAKER_00]: Most of the drug issues we have in the United States, most people will lose their kids because they're high and they cannot take care of their children because of neglect.
[SPEAKER_00]: you know some sexual abuse that some families or most kids are abused by family members that once that is a discovered then they have to take the kids out of that home you know.
[SPEAKER_01]: So usually it's coming from child protective services or the police have showed up and had to take the kid and they go to a foster home.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean could it be at all hours of the day or is it kind of planned you're going to get this kid on Thursday when the parents
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, it's all unplanned because they never want the parents we're taking.
[SPEAKER_00]: Think about if they come to you and say, I'm taking your kid, you might just take off, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So they just show up in the middle of the night while you're sleeping and they're like, boom with a police and, you know, they take them and that's when they look for us.
[SPEAKER_00]: They say, Peter, I have two kids, you know, and I need a home for 24 hours.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we call those imagines placement, you know, show time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, your mom, you go give birth at the hospital and then they test you and they find that you have drugs in your system.
[SPEAKER_00]: That child cannot go with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: That child stays in the hospital.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_00]: They call a father.
[SPEAKER_00]: They say, hey, you know, this child, you know, we found the parents they are deceptive to drugs in their system.
[SPEAKER_00]: So this child cannot go back.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's when we come in their, say, hey, we need an emergency as we look for the next of kin to take the child.
[SPEAKER_01]: So for the most part, when you're getting a foster child, there's some trauma involved, some sort of emotional thing that this kid is definitely going through.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm imagining, even if their parents have been terrible parents for some way, shape or form, they don't want to just go with a complete stranger, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, are they missing their parents tremendously?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or are they for, or have to time, are they missing the parent the other half?
[SPEAKER_01]: They're so excited to get away.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, 99.9, they didn't choose to come to your home, so they are terrified, and sometimes even the views that is happening, the kids are not aware, because for them, it's normal, you know, think about if you're born in a drag home, that's all you've seen, that's all you know, you know.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, when your mama has had, you know, a different man every other week, I mean, that's all you know.
[SPEAKER_00]: So,
[SPEAKER_00]: clapping you out of that it causes the trauma to the child because you're putting them in an environment they're not familiar with but also too they love their parents no matter why they do to them that they never wish to come.
[SPEAKER_00]: So no child comes to us that is excited to be with us.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know no matter how severe the abuse was it's later so they build that trust later but usually for the
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so tell me about what that first time was like.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you have an empty house just with you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then all of a sudden, this new child comes in.
[SPEAKER_01]: Tell me all about that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, Rachel, oh gosh.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, so first of all, they give you a license.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you're like, okay, you're two months from now.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, the same night they're like, hey, keep your phone.
[SPEAKER_00]: We might call you for a child and show enough.
[SPEAKER_00]: They called me a three in the morning they're like, okay, there's a key to who needs a home.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're bringing that child to you.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I panicked, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So when the child arrived, so this is my hair again, like you overthink about things.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I put him in bed and then I locked every door and then I pull the couch and put it against his door.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I thought he's gonna run out like he's gonna open that door and he's gonna run out like, I'm not gonna give that a... Oh, yeah, right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, so how old was he?
[SPEAKER_00]: It was five, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, so he woke up and he said, dad, that's what the weird thing he says, dad, kind of have something to eat.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I slipped the whole night worried.
[SPEAKER_00]: All you want is just breakfast.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, that was my head just.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, turning around and that's all he wanted just I want breakfast and he felt safe.
[SPEAKER_00]: And from then I kind of really, you know, it helped me to learn like, oh, I don't have to make it a big deal, but I really can follow the child's guide, you know, they're hungry, they need to eat and make feel like comfortable and joyful as well as much as I can.
[SPEAKER_01]: So how many kids have you fostered at this point?
[SPEAKER_00]: 43.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, my God.
[SPEAKER_01]: And a lot of them overlap.
[SPEAKER_01]: There are different.
[SPEAKER_01]: How does that work?
[SPEAKER_00]: So usually for me, I'm licensed for five.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I can have five kids at once, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, most of my tech siblings, because I really hate kids when they are separated.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I prefer to take siblings.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they can sit together in lessons of trauma.
[SPEAKER_00]: So usually, yes, like right now I adopted three, you know, but now I have two fours of kids, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: So I like, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, you know, and most I'm like, you know, I mean, I'll be honest.
[SPEAKER_00]: My youngest is a sibling of the ones that just adopted.
[SPEAKER_00]: So sometimes you might take two and adopt them, but when they give birth and the same thing happens because now I'm next to again, they get to call me like, hey, I sibling of the ones you already have has come into the system.
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you take the child?
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, wait, let's go back to the 40 plus that you've fostered.
[SPEAKER_01]: How does that work as a foster?
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you told this could be for a day and this could be for five years?
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, is there a limit to how long foster kids can be in a home?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, Rachel.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, they tell you 24 hours, you're like, okay, 24 hours.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then 24 hours comes and like, hey, can you give us extra few days?
[SPEAKER_00]: You give them extra few days.
[SPEAKER_00]: A week passes by and they're like, can he call school because we can't find a home?
[SPEAKER_00]: So no one ever tells you how long.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, Anthony Ma, the one I adopted, they asked for the weekend, they said, can he just come there for a weekend?
[SPEAKER_00]: And literally I said, okay, only the weekend.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it was my first son to tie that, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's no one can ever give you the dead or when.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you know, if let's say, you know, there was death in the family, you know, the the next of keen that the family is going to come and take the shot.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that we always know, but you know, no, is it in a week?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it in a month, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: And remember, before the HS gives back the shot, they have also to do background check on that by parents.
[SPEAKER_00]: on the families.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: You just can't come and claim the child, be like, okay, but we need to do background check on you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: So what is the responsibility of a foster parent?
[SPEAKER_00]: You are parent 99.9999.
[SPEAKER_00]: The well-being of that child, you feed them, you have them overcome the trauma, you're responsible for their health, you are the one takes them to the hospital, you are the parents in
[SPEAKER_01]: until they leave until they're not in your care.
[SPEAKER_01]: But so I guess part of that question though is what is the responsibility?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, how do you manage having a kid come in?
[SPEAKER_01]: Who's so traumatized sometimes?
[SPEAKER_01]: And you want to make them feel safe and loved, but you know that this is not their forever home.
[SPEAKER_01]: So how do you create a forever home environment where they don't feel so unstable knowing that they can go back into potentially different foster homes or instability?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, you cannot control where they come from and where they're going, but you can control what you have.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for us as first friends what we try to do is enormously give the child no more life.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, so make sure that, you know, you visit other friends that you know, so they know hey, there's just more than this person.
[SPEAKER_00]: make them go to school so they feel they are part of the community, give them the normacy as though nothing change on the other side.
[SPEAKER_00]: The continuation of what challenge is play, be whatever they need to, but at the same time, create an environment that will help them overcome let's say things they've gone through.
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, we've had kids who still are listening because they want to know because their parents always send them to go steal.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want my somewhere, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: Some kids were hoarding food because there wasn't never in the app, so they hoarded the food.
[SPEAKER_00]: So how do you have them to say hey, they be food tomorrow, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, right.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you try and do your best while you have them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or some, my normal life is abnormal to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're dad and mom always yelled, you know for me who does it yell when I ask my child to do something or to respond they don't respond because they think
[SPEAKER_00]: That's not how we receive commands like you have to yell and use the costward.
[SPEAKER_00]: I know what you need, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So in some way to like help the child rethink the way they do things like, hey, we don't use that language.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not appropriate for you as a foyer all to use.
[SPEAKER_00]: But for them, it's normal, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: But you're trying now to kind of detox of what wasn't normal for them to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: But in a gentle way, an overtime.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right, what are some of the biggest challenges you found in the foster kids you've had like how anyone run away have their parents tried to come and take them when they weren't supposed to.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, was there any craziness that went along with it?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yes, most of the challenge is that they take the kids away, but they never explain why they took the kids away.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that has been one of the challenges, because for me, as an adult, they told me why the issue was, but it never told the child, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll give you an example.
[SPEAKER_00]: If the parents are taking drugs, the kids, usually they'll hide it, but they'll see them hide, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: But they never explain like, hey, we are taking you away because your dad and mama are always high.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, no.
[SPEAKER_00]: So when the child comes to me, it's like, but why did my parents do?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why did that?
[SPEAKER_00]: But also I'm part of the system.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm part of the bad guys.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just the police that came to give them or the social worker, but I'm part of the system.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they don't like me most of the time or write away because they feel I'm part of the people against the
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: I understand that.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then, but doesn't that cause disruption and a house that you've worked so hard to create this like love and bond and calmness and yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you deal with that?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, kids are kids, you know, I think for me because I was one of those kids and I had the same trauma that can really help me to understand where they are from so my focus is in so much on the behaviors it's so much of where is it coming from and how can I help them really see life or do things in a different way we time.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, of course, my kids too, they understand that we have to go through the realigning lesson.
[SPEAKER_00]: Every time we get a child, my kids have to go through, like, hey, remember, this kid didn't have 1, 2, 3, 4.
[SPEAKER_00]: This kid doesn't understand 1, 2, 3, 4.
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's have grace towards him or her, you know, but knowing that at one point, things are going to get better.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: And advantages for me is my kids were also in the same position as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: Though they don't do what these kids are doing now, but they're understanding.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, they kind of relate like, oh, we understand why.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: What are the rules with adopting them?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, what has to happen for a child to be up for adoption?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so just because I'm a whole sprint even if I force a child for four years, it doesn't guarantee me to be the adapted parents.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: So in order to be adapted, the parental rights have to be terminated, meaning the judge ordered like, hey, these parents are no longer fit to be parents, so they cut off the parental rights.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then the children are available at that point for adoption.
[SPEAKER_00]: But
[SPEAKER_00]: Before I come in as a first friend, they go to the next of kids, so they go to their uncles, their aunt, their grandparents, someone related to them to be, to see if they kind of doubt the child.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wait, I can't imagine that that could be somewhat hard.
[SPEAKER_01]: If there's, there happens to be a grandmother, but the grandmother doesn't seem like they can provide that good of a life, or they don't really give a shit about the kid that much.
[SPEAKER_01]: They have their own life, but they are the next of kin.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, how do you, how do you deal with that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, the low sails next to the kid come first.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they you can't fight it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, when the grandma or the next uncle who was in their photo, you know, like sometimes we have the kid for four years from the time they are born, they come to you and they turn four and they are for adoption.
[SPEAKER_00]: And someone says, Hey, I am the uncle.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm coming for the child like literally.
[SPEAKER_00]: it is hard to fight them because they're the logical, they're the next of kin.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, I come in or I am allowed to add up after the exhaust or the kinship.
[SPEAKER_00]: Then there's nobody they're like, okay, now that there's nobody, now you're the one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So is the goal of the court system to reunite the children with the parents as best they can, even though it could be a little
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the goal.
[SPEAKER_00]: Full together means, hey, temporarily, I'm gonna have you for a temporary time, while I'm undead, or your relatives are getting their lives together, and then you go back home.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: But the way the court does it is so wrong because they wait and wait and wait.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, this child who lives with us thinks, hey, I mean, I have a little one.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've had a situation was one year and a half and she's three now.
[SPEAKER_00]: So all she knows is me, you know.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that is going to cause trauma for the child to be young to out of what's normal for her.
[SPEAKER_00]: to a place she's never been or doesn't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: But the code doesn't see that.
[SPEAKER_00]: They just say, hey, they are relatives, they'll take her.
[SPEAKER_00]: But that really causes trauma more to the child because you're taking her away from what we know.
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's nothing we can do to stop that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, let's talk about that piece in particular for a second.
[SPEAKER_01]: So just she call you dad.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I'm dad.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm dad.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all she knows.
[SPEAKER_01]: And does she live in any sort of fear?
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I know she's very young.
[SPEAKER_01]: But that one day, she might not live with you anymore.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, she does not understand.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because she was nine months when she came to us.
[SPEAKER_00]: So she doesn't really know.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's usually those who understand like four-year-olds from four, maybe from three, not from four onwards, are the ones that live in a limbo.
[SPEAKER_00]: They love your home and they love you so much.
[SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, they sit up attachment to their mom.
[SPEAKER_00]: They want to go back home.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they live in this limbo of I want to stay here, but I want to stay on a go back home.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the court system destroys that the longer they take,
[SPEAKER_00]: the more the child has been living in that limbo and causes mistrust and distress and more to the child.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, of course.
[SPEAKER_01]: So what do you think is going to happen in the case of this young little girl, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that?
[SPEAKER_00]: Little girl.
[SPEAKER_01]: So what's the situation with the parents?
[SPEAKER_01]: Are they still fighting for the rights?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or they are getting their life together?
[SPEAKER_01]: Does she talk to the parents at all?
[SPEAKER_01]: What's the story?
[SPEAKER_00]: So every child is given this attention time.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have to visit their parents when they're willing to, either they are drunk or high, that they have the right to see their child for one hour.
[SPEAKER_00]: How happy.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So they give them six months.
[SPEAKER_00]: If that doesn't change, they give them, talk about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: If it doesn't change, they give them, so for us now, we are only yet to go into Y3.
[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing has changed.
[SPEAKER_01]: meaning because the mother or father could not get there, they couldn't stay sober or whatever was for them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever the request them to do, they have none, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So then they are waiting for them to do so.
[SPEAKER_00]: So now it's up to the judge to say, we've given you ample time and we have not seen chain, so we're going to terminate that your parent arrives.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now is this little girl that you said is a relation of one of the boys that you adopted?
[SPEAKER_00]: Two.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, totally.
[SPEAKER_01]: So clearly these parents have had this issue in the past.
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then what is your, I'm curious what your relationship is like with the mom.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, do you think that they do this because they know that they trust you and you're going to take their kids in?
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, does that make it almost easier for them and enable them to not get healthy?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes and no, you know, out of, you know, you don't have those responsibilities.
[SPEAKER_00]: So what do you do?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you're healing, you know, because you're, you're not taking care of a toddler, I am, you know, the sometimes I think for me, because I know what my mother went through.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, because most people out on streets will say, what are mother-related kids build on the streets?
[SPEAKER_00]: But they didn't not understand why my mom went through of what she was enduring.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I come with a sin grace and humility like, I'm not a drug addict.
[SPEAKER_00]: To be a drug like I, I don't understand it, but at the same time, to really have empathy towards them.
[SPEAKER_00]: But also I want my kids, even if I adapt her, I want them, I want to have that relationship, you know, for my kids,
[SPEAKER_00]: So, there's no need to be hostel or be negative because I still want to have that relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, also, when the parents get to see how parents you are to their kids, they realize, like, you know what, I don't have the tools that you do have.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I'm going to really rather than take away, I think I would love you to be the parent of my child, but would you keep me?
[SPEAKER_00]: connected to my child.
[SPEAKER_00]: That makes sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, of course.
[SPEAKER_01]: If they get to that point where they have no ego because I think a lot of people even though they cannot take care of the child or like, no, that's my child.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want the child and they make everybody's life miserable.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm curious that your older children that have the same parents or at least mother do they have a relationship with her or are they angry about their childhood.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, kids go through phases, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, I've had them for four years.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, the three was foreskier and then almost one year adoption.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, there's two, we're still kind of really going to their adoption and then understanding.
[SPEAKER_00]: But right now, they are kind of in a place of, why would my mom who say loves me not come back and get me, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So, that is where they are.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you wanna meet them where they are.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, until they kind of understand that,
[SPEAKER_00]: then you'll be able to now have that connection like hey now they understand how can I really help them connect with their mom without causing more harm to them because for now I think my daughter thinks you know my mom said she'll come back you know that she loves me and that's how it ended so there was nothing bad that I happened to say I'll never see again it's more like think of you're dating someone and they go back to Europe and they never come back and no communication you're like
[SPEAKER_00]: Did they break up with me like there's no clothes, you know, and to a kids, that's kind of why they're going through right now like, you know, what what did I do, why did mom not love me that much, you know, and once you we go over that I don't of them understanding, then we're able to bridge that relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: but for my teenagers, they have that because now they're old enough to understand so my teens have that they can call, they can text, they can, you know, I can talk to their mom anytime I want, because they're much too enough to understand that.
[SPEAKER_01]: You've been a foster parent for so long.
[SPEAKER_01]: What are some takeaways that you would give to people that are listening to this right now, that are contemplating doing it?
[SPEAKER_01]: How has it changed your life?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh boy, you know, it seems my life in every way I've always wanted to be a dad, you know, I'm giving back and for me that has given me an opportunity.
[SPEAKER_00]: But too, especially for men, I think men, we've been, you know, we are told go work, but don't be involved in kids life.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think for me, I'm trying to change that narrative.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like if I can be single and be a dad, a full-time dad, like any parents can be.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not mom's job, but it's
[SPEAKER_00]: dad and mom's job and kids need us especially that's you know I've had 41 kids no one kid I've ever said I wish we had a mom why because I was going to ask that yeah why because they never had a dad before oh wow that's interesting
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, the other part for those who want to force it is hard journey and it's a calling, you know, if you sign up and you find it, you know, cut for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's that okay.
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, first get is not an adoption agency like to go in knowing like I'm going to go in, but my job is to force her not to adapt because your heart is going to be broken in every piece of home.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you want to adapt, you go in saying, I want to that so from the get go, they kind of know your intentions.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're going to press you with kids who are likely for adoption.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So explain something too because I think people might be hesitant to get involved in fostering because it looks like a huge financial burden.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, how can you go through all these kids and take care of them?
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm assuming the state gives you some financial support for each kid that comes in.
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: Every state gives, you know, it's called, we call it a cycling, you know, every state will give you funds, you know, the kids come with Medicaid, they come with all the schooling they need or the dental, they give all that.
[SPEAKER_00]: On top of that, they give you financial help to help your mother to take care of their, if it's food, if it's caused, that they give you all those to really help you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Even if you're single and you're not able to take the kids to the hospital, the, the teachers, the social workers, it's their responsibility to take the child
[SPEAKER_00]: decade two comes with that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, as a single parent, I want to do what I do and have a job and take over the kids, but they provide the vouchers for for for for school.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you have so much resource to help you.
[SPEAKER_00]: The teenagers also they come, if you adopt a child, it's a teenager, they come, they will have free education for the rest of their lives.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have medication until when they are 21 and if they want to go to university, it's free within the state they live in.
[SPEAKER_00]: To really help you to do whatever you know matter you have a job, but you don't have job because the kids will come with resource that you need so as long as you can cover obviously the roof over their head
[SPEAKER_01]: And then, or yourself, yeah, then you have the separate bedrooms based on their ages or whatever it is in their sexes, then you can get some financial aid for the child.
[SPEAKER_01]: So you don't have to bear the burden.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm assuming, like I'm curious about the schools, do you have to have, they can only go to the public schools within your district.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, how does that work?
[SPEAKER_00]: So it works with, you know, so it's what you remember, you are the parent and nine and a nine point percent.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you decide, I want them to go this hospital so long as they take medical and you can make decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you make all those decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: I want them to go this school because it's closed to me, you know, you make those decisions.
[SPEAKER_00]: The parents or ditches does not make those for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: But how can you make those decisions if you don't know how long they're going to be with you?
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly you just do what you know like it's cool time if you know you're gonna have a kid for two weeks or three weeks You're like you rather go get the the application at least have it handy or say okay because so for me Remember I am lasted to force any kids so most of my kids are coming two hours away There's no way they can go back to that school because it's farther away
[SPEAKER_00]: So unless of you are from the SM Count to sometimes there will be close and the step will provide the transportation back and forth as well.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: How do you date?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that true?
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that too personal?
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I like that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that food?
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, so, you know, I have one child and I can't date.
[SPEAKER_01]: She makes my life a living house.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I don't know how you do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, there's no room to date.
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: For me.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I have a total who's just just done three and I have a 20 year old.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, my life, I get a little freedom between 9 a.m.
[SPEAKER_00]: And to be him, I mean, who's going to date you during that time, you know, but also I think I love my kids that I want to pull everything I kind of towards my kids that for me to bring in someone that doesn't understand the kids I I had the whole trauma like I feel it's unfair to them, you know, to bring in someone who doesn't understand, you know, the joy you find in helping kids who are
[SPEAKER_00]: the most disadvantage.
[SPEAKER_00]: But too, that I know trauma informed, like I think I will bring more trauma to that part.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm fair, like I feel you'll be unfair to that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So for me, content, like to do this and back on my knowing, I'm content where I am, you know, and I'm content being a single day.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm content just being happy of what I do is for me what drives me.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what I find, you know, usually what I say, if you want to date me, okay, you're trauma informed and you can deal with
[SPEAKER_00]: or we can go into it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I mean, I think maybe for you it might be better to meet somebody that's already established in your life.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, somebody that you guys always see, a school teacher, I don't know, somebody that really gets your life and has been part of their lives and is a friend and a friendly face and knows you as opposed to some, it's not like you can be on bumble having new people come in and out of your life, I don't think.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, but also to even teachers, you know, some are good at helping a child during the day, but they don't want to deal with them at night, you know, that's true.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you know, or some just want to see them from our, but they cannot deal with, you know, most of their trauma.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's really a calling that person has to really be part of that in a way, you know, I think it would be impossible.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, somehow.
[SPEAKER_00]: bringing someone, unless it was their calling, you know, and you'll be in fear to them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, do you have a limit on how many kids you want to adopt in the future?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, your house is already somewhat full and you're already, you can only do five right at a time or five factors teenagers.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you can cheat when you take when you take siblings, you know, so I'm licensed for five, but if I had three siblings, you know, it's easier to to give it an exempt to six.
[SPEAKER_01]: Does that mean your license to have five kids in the house or five fosters, like you have three that you've adopted, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that what you're saying?
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I can, yeah, so I can five more.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank your fostering.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, the, the, yes, too.
[SPEAKER_00]: Got it and how free if you see a blanks.
[SPEAKER_01]: Got it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I got it because the other that teenagers, they don't really need me, you know, so they are not really counted against me.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: But when they move out of the house, then that opens up a spot.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I would love to force more and enough to more if I can have a bigger house and a bigger car that is my dream.
[SPEAKER_00]: The other part I want to share with you is most people don't they don't want to force to because they are afraid of attachment.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I was going to ask you about that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, tell me about that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So yes, it's it's hard to be friends someone knowing they're going to go the next day, you know, and for us as folks friends, it's obvious, you get attached to this kid, you love them, you pour everything about them.
[SPEAKER_00]: But you know, in a month, in a year, in two years, they can go away.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: to really do and deal with.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so most people are afraid of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: And for me, I count a lot by saying actually the most, the people who are afraid of attachment are the ones that can be the best friends.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why?
[SPEAKER_00]: Because they have what it takes, that attachment what our kids need, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: But they also have empathy, I'm sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have empathy and they will fight for each other.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, tooth and nail.
[SPEAKER_00]: But at the same time, you know, knowing that, hey, actually your fear is your strong.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's what our kids need.
[SPEAKER_00]: They never had someone fight for them.
[SPEAKER_00]: They never had someone attached to them.
[SPEAKER_00]: They never, someone, you know,
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that a course of them that you help them heal?
[SPEAKER_00]: So rather what you think is negative is actually positive.
[SPEAKER_01]: So in general, it sounds like you've had an amazing experience as a foster and you would suggest it to people, even though these kids may be coming in with some behavioral issues, some trust issues, a lot of trauma and instability.
[SPEAKER_01]: You think it's been obviously life changing for you, but do you feel that you've seen that it's life changing for the children?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have a chance for the children member.
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't their choice to be born in this home.
[SPEAKER_00]: They didn't choose the parents that drag added that they just innocent kids and fought for us to be there for them is a greatest present we can give them as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: To thereby appearance, sometimes they never had a good example of what a parent looks like.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we can show that to them that we are not just helping the child for the entire cycle of
[SPEAKER_00]: they are by appearance that we've changed the way they view and parents as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: But they need that example.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I am why I am now because I had a man who showed me how to be kind, how to give back, and how to truly love others and conditionally because he did that to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's easy for me to look back and say,
[SPEAKER_00]: told me how, you know, they're same with our force, the same with kids in force care to see them as human being and say, how can I impact them?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, for men and women who are for and you're like, I want to get married so I can have kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, maybe can you be a parent?
[SPEAKER_00]: What are you wait to marry?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, rather than me selling out, but you know, being a parent because we're waiting to get married, but rather say, hey, what I'm waiting, I'm just going to be a dad.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to be a
[SPEAKER_01]: How many of the kids that you've had have stayed in touch with you?
[SPEAKER_00]: All of them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Really?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: So Chris, how are they all doing for the most part?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, some notes are good, you know, because they went back and two years or three years later, the parents just went back to why they had been taken away.
[SPEAKER_00]: And some have come back in the first case system.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I cannot take them because I already have kids, you know?
[SPEAKER_01]: Do I see, yes, yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I want to ask you, because you know, you hear all these stories or they're on all these movies about these terrible nightmare situations that you see in the foster care system, kids that have gone from being little and then change foster care homes all the time, where they're abused physically, sexually, how do you think that happens?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like how, how does the court system or child protection services not see how much worse off they can be in some foster parents homes?
[SPEAKER_00]: So, well, you know, most of the attack to the court system, remember the court system says the bio parents or the connects of pin are the number one where the kids want to go back to.
[SPEAKER_00]: But most when you're drug addict, that meant your entire family, why is most of the time?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, you know, most kids abuse sexually, not by a stranger, but a member of the family.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're going, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, to the same system, you know, and it's hard when they say, next of kin have the right to the children, but yet you know the dangers, you know, what do you do?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, but I'm asking about within the foster care system because you do hear these terrible stories about foster parents that have abused kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's an awesome.
[SPEAKER_00]: 40%.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, 40% of our foster kids are abused by foster families.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, I didn't know that right.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a pretty high rate.
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's sad.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's, you know, it's had to,
[SPEAKER_00]: the way that the way they scream, you know, you do the classes, they do background check.
[SPEAKER_00]: But when it becomes to be heaviest on how you parent, I don't think they are there to monitor how you do it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know?
[SPEAKER_01]: We're the classes hard.
[SPEAKER_01]: You had to take or it's just you sitting there listening to how to handle situations.
[SPEAKER_00]: They were, they were not hard, but for me I had to take more classes that I had to pay for to get more education, like I wanted to be trauma-informed, so I had to do TBR, like any resource that can help me be a better parent, I had to do that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Some parents don't do that, they just say, you know, I'm gonna give them a roof, you know, and that's it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, right, all sometimes they do the behavior.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they punish the child for the bad behaviors.
[SPEAKER_00]: But the child isn't, like, then whatever they're doing, they are doing it towards you or against you, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: All sometimes our first friends think, I'm doing a favor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Why can't you be nice to me?
[SPEAKER_00]: Why can't you do what I asked you to do?
[SPEAKER_00]: But this kid didn't choose to come to your home.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they have no right to have a favor or feel that you favor them or you did something good because they were forced to your home.
[SPEAKER_00]: you know, so remember that different is someone was first to come and live with you and somehow you think they should be grateful for coming to live with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: It kind of doesn't compute to the child.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So just people that are following your channel, I'm just curious.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, are you able to have a job now or are you more of like an influencer?
[SPEAKER_01]: So I mean, I know you guys do all sorts of things and you're making food and you're spot, you know, you're probably sponsored by people.
[SPEAKER_01]: How does it work?
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you able to work separately or this is your
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I have a full-time job, so I work for our vision.
[SPEAKER_00]: And my job is to, you know, or, you know, really advocate for kids in four-skier and kids all over the world, but in the most.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's my full-time job, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I think, you know, as a four-step parent, I think some companies are afraid, not afraid, but I think they're stigma about four-skier, they're not waiting to.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's give you deals that anyone else does because you're a four-step parent.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, yes, I have influence and I have millions of followers, but just because I'm a fall-separate, some company will say, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: Interesting, but why?
[SPEAKER_01]: What's the stigma do you think?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, I mean, like, I'll be honest, we got a deal for Hyundai, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So they wanted to be the part, yeah, of the car.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they wanted us to do the ad for them.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're like, that's really cool.
[SPEAKER_00]: We get to have their car for like a month, you know, drive it and test it out, but have the kids and go to a maker, you know, make kind of content.
[SPEAKER_00]: Once they found out that, my kids were first kids, they're like, no, we don't want them there.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's insane.
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like you guys would be a great representative for exactly, you know, just to most you like it's social good, but also like you have faith and believe in people who, yeah, and it's a, it's a family car, whether you're a foster family or a regular family doesn't make a difference.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, that's right.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, well, hopefully we'll have to figure out what car company, you know, appreciates the role that you've been doing and the help that you've been giving kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's just insane to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: We want one.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can take more kids, but because my car is small, I cannot.
[SPEAKER_00]: So all my needs right now is a nine-seater car and I'll be set.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you need like a Rivian, you know, something.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love those.
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So just incidentally, when was the last time you spoke to people in your family?
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh, every day, you know, nowadays, you know, like the night is the technology is easy to make it easy.
[SPEAKER_00]: The hot top.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can know what they did.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can know who's not fitting well.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can so that I can see the rejoicing because you're not, you know, you're not family chat.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can see what they're doing, which has made life a little easier and stay connected to the farm for sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you, is your father still alive?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, my father and my, and my mama still married, you know, just kind of strange.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's still my end.
[SPEAKER_01]: Are they still on Uganda?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, they're still in Uganda.
[SPEAKER_01]: And do you actually speak to him as well?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I speak to him because I think I wanted to show you my example of what a dad looks like, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to show him like, what love means?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't think, you know, I think after being a foresperian that comes real, it's like sometimes people are abusive because that's how they were raised.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure, sure.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's all they need.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I wanted his response.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I think, you know, I think like 15 years ago, he talked to me and he said, you know what?
[SPEAKER_00]: He caused my first appearance and he said, your dad has told me what I father ought to be.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and I think that was enough for me to see like, oh, okay, he's really seeing what a dad looks like because he saw how this stranger found way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Treated me and he's like, you know, he caused my dad's like, you dad has told me.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's for me what I needed.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, he's proud of me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can tell you.
[SPEAKER_00]: He thinks I'm going to be on the planet.
[SPEAKER_01]: have they been to the United States, not really they have not.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, interesting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so I want to talk really quickly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you've written some books, right, and you have now I am known or the organization tell me a little bit about that.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, now I'm no organization.
[SPEAKER_00]: We do that to help teenagers and post-print.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, what I do, I do roommate covers, you know, most kids in the first game have never had an opportunity to have a room where they say, I want pink, I want yellow, you know, paint it away and for me, I wanted to do that for teens who are being adapted or who are moving in college or who are moving into another post-affirmary.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if I can take that away from a post-print, I get to do the room for them.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, that's so fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: They choose their color, they choose their beddings, and we surprise them by doing that.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's really for me, you know, what I love to really do.
[SPEAKER_00]: But also they tell their story from a roommate of a point of view, rather, from what they have gone through.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's really what I love to do for the kids.
[SPEAKER_01]: Amazing.
[SPEAKER_01]: And what's in the future for you?
[SPEAKER_01]: Will you be writing another book?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or what's what you want out of life in the future?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yes, absolutely.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I want to force the more kids and adopt the more kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just finished writing two books.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, we have a, you know, a parenting book coming out in May, and a children's book coming got some time at the end of next year as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's been wonderful writing a little bit more and really now that I feel like have.
[SPEAKER_00]: experience that I can share people want to know how do I do this and I think by writing it would be the best way for people to kind of read trauma and how I responded and what I learnt from it by having much you that can help them.
[SPEAKER_01]: amazing.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that you could write and maybe you have already, but you could write an amazing children's book on the little boy, the little boy Peter that you were and how you got from Uganda to your life now.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then also the kids that come through your home, it would be so cute to have a book of little stories that they've written while they were there.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, I'm not a publisher, but I just think I would love to read something like that, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: No, you're playing talking.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you're on it, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope you do something like that.
[SPEAKER_01]: What is your biggest takeaway?
[SPEAKER_01]: What can you tell people again that are on the fence that are thinking about getting into this?
[SPEAKER_01]: What would you say to them?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, look, sometimes people say those kids are like it to have you, but I'll say I am the like one to have them, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: The their parents and the social work would allow me to be their parents, like love only care for them is a greatest thing they have given me, that they would trust me and teach me.
[SPEAKER_00]: And for me to it's helped me to heal and be a better human being because of being a parent.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's not just a one way that I'm helping the kids, but the kids are helping me as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's a both.
[SPEAKER_00]: Both of us are real learning like I would say if you're out there and you have you have the hearts and you want to help You know, there's 450,000 kids in the forest care We can help one, you know, and I know we can't also do or we you know My cutting is we can't or be forced print but we can all do something you know reach out to someone who's struggling You know give a coffee to a mom don't judge him out, you know
[SPEAKER_00]: more I add for someone who needs to add, bring me coffee, give me a phone call, you know, how many do we make of it?
[SPEAKER_00]: We can't all be like you right now, you know, you're not a for spread, but you're giving us a platform to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: to tell a story, you know?
[SPEAKER_00]: So are you, you know, are you doing absolutely?
[SPEAKER_00]: You can attach so many by just sharing a story, but in some way you're touching the lives of those who are also going through it as well.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we can all do something, it doesn't have to be forced care, something alone the life of a child to change their lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: You are so inspirational, Peter tell people that are listening where they can find you and follow your story.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, you can find me on Instagram, post that that flavor.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can find me on YouTube now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm known.
[SPEAKER_00]: I can find you on TikTok now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm known.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, our website now.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not.
[SPEAKER_01]: Amazing.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wish you the best of luck.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to keep following you.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm watching your story unfold.
[SPEAKER_01]: I really appreciate you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for listening to Ms.
[SPEAKER_01]: Understood.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host Rachel Yucatel.
[SPEAKER_01]: Please be sure to subscribe to the show and give us a five-star rating and review.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can support the show by joining our Patreon at patreon.com slash Ms.
[SPEAKER_01]: Understood with Rachel Yucatel.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you have ideas for the show or want to reach out email us at info Ms.
[SPEAKER_01]: Understood podcast at gmail.com that's spelled MISS understood?
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much and I'll see you next time.