The Wettest Stories Ever Told (S17E18)

Good morning, crew, Welcome today seven eighteen of our voyage. Today's announcements.
First of all, in an effort to save water, you will no
longer be given any water. And because of a drawing of myself having romantic
congress with a mer man, I am dumping all your mail from home into
the sea. And I can assure you there were cookies in there, good
cookies, the guy and only a loving mother or at Millhouse's father could make
my father's alive. No, he died while baking. It's all in the
letter. Four Finger discount Dude, Welcome to four Finger discounted the podcast where
the second story is always the weakest. This week, were here to review
episode hb F one one. It is the whatster stories ever told. I
am Dando and I am Guy, a Protestant, not a prostitute. By
the way, I'm not gonna lie. This is one of the weakest episodes
ever told. It was a bit soggy. Yeah, it wasn't great.
They tried hard pulling out the at least you tried cake to you know,
Actually no, did they did they really try? I'm not sure. I
just don't know why. I mean, I'm sure in concept that might have
thought this is gonna be fun, but once you get sort of stuck into
it, you would have gone, there's really nothing here. It's just they
have now gone, every season, we've got to have a trilogy episode that's
not triut of horror, and it's like, if it makes sense, it's
worth it. But this was not worth it. In my opinion. This
was just bland as bland can be, not bad in the sense of like
eye rolling him or making me annoyed. It was just a nothing episode,
so nothing. It was kind of like you know that old saying sometimes an
episode is like a fat if you're four, that you're going to end up
with shit, and that's kind of what you got with the with the Wetter
Stories ever told I was trying, I was trying to cut it a bit
of slack, but because I don't mind a little seafaring tale every once in
a while, I'm down for some seamen every on some occasions, hyeah,
don't know what you want, we know what you're into, And I guess
I'm kind of a sucker for particularly old seafaring tales where it's like I mean,
because basically these guys were like, you know, space explorers. They're
hitting off into the ground and you don't know if you're gonna fall off the
edge of the world. There might be monsters out there. They actually used
to have maps as there here there be monsters. So yeah, it's it's
not that you can't make something good out of this, but just they didn't
make something good out of this. And what was what was it? Was
it laziness? Was it? I mean, okay, I actually can't tell
you. I just who wrote this one. That's how I look. It
wasn't it like a combination of a few people and I was by Jeff Westbrook
this one and directed by Mike b Anderson. So quality behind the riding and
the director. But yeah, I don't know, not not great. This
is just very very just swung right through, swinging miss straight through like a
hot curry. Yeah, not a good episode at all. But speaking of
things that might be more entertaining than this episode, we had a bit of
a shamuzzle at our house in the weekend, so several days ago, I
want to say, earlier last week. I'm not one with you with the
tools and things where things go wrong and around the house, I'm like,
bag, can you come fix this please, So the hot water system and
when things go wrong at my house, I'm like, Daniel, can you
call you Dad? Please? The giant tank the water system tank at the
side of a house, which came with the house, right, and it's
been there for nine years and I've walked past it thousands of times. I
was taking to bins out last week and I know, so it's water coming
at it from wa different directions, and I was like, I'm pretty sure
I would have noticed that's not yeah, that's not a feature exactly right.
And then but the thing is one of the holes almost looked like it was
and I found out it was like a pressure release. So basically, if
if the water is leaking inside, these holes are there to help the water
get out so it doesn't go gablamo. Right, But like one of those
things was pissing out water and then it was just water sort of like leaking
out of like a pipe coming out of it. I was like, that
doesn't look right, and that cords leaking going towards the house and to a
power point. I don't think this is safe, guys. So I bought
it from the house and I was like, actually scared when I was unplugging
it from the house because I thought if I gonna get it, he looked
up on Google, like how do you turn off hot water system? So
we do that anyway. So it's Saturday and we're like, we need this
fixed. A SAP and the plumber. We know, you know, everyone
knows their one plumber friend, but our one plumber friend is in Northern TERRORISTI
at the moment, so he's no vapor to fix it anyway, So we
call up just Google hot water system fixes in Gelong. We'd call a couple
of ones at a local and Geelong, I've gone through to message paper,
I'll leaving basics. I was like, no, we need it done now.
So we finally get through to one and I look back now and like
the clues were all there that I shouldn't have taken these people, but you
know, we needed it fixed. And I was like, hello, how
can we help you? And I was like okay, And I realized halfway
through the call it was clearly just like a not a call center, but
just basically just like an operator for many sort of different divisions around Australia.
I'm like, okay, this is clearly a big business, right, So
they're going to charge more. You would you know, important reflection. But
anyway, he puts us through and then the guy comes and it's one hundred
and forty dollars just for him to appear. And he opens up our gate
where the tank is and the first words are for him, No, it's
fucked it. It's fun. I'm gonna need a new system. I'm like,
what is this guy just saying this because it's fun. I'm like,
it looks it looks pretty stuff. But it's just like, oh yeah,
no, no, she's had it. You're gonna need a whole new system
like this, that, and you have to replace this, you have to
put this. He goes, what we do is we install this, we
install that, and me, I'm like this but I'm just saying all this
stuff and I'm like, well, just slow down for a second. Just
tell me what's wrong. First he's like, oh, it's cracked inside.
It shouted itself. I'm like, don't worry, you're getting the job.
I just need to know what you're going to be doing. Blah blah blah.
So he goes, if you want to, I mean, you can
replace this if you want. They're from China, but you can replace them.
You won't. It's gonna cost you fifteen grand. And I'm like fifteen
grand and he's just like, no, no, what yours? Man't you
when we cost you that much? When you won't? Be like, won't
cost you that much? He's look this, let me just go away.
I'll talk to the manage baba. But I'll come back with the price and
we'll work it out. And you know, you can do um interest free
repayments over the next five years. It's all good. You'll be able to
he goes, You'll be able to pay for it. Don't worry. Five
years you're five years to pay for an interest free don't You'll be able to
pay for it. And I'm like And at the time, I'm just sort
of like, oh, okay, okay, look back now. I'm like,
this guy is a complete salesman. So he comes back and he's like,
it's gonna be five thousand, two hundred, and then I'm like,
oh, that's why it's better than fifteen. But I'm like, still seem
like a lot of money, Nikola. Nicolas like five thousand dollars. So
Nikola starts looking up. I'm like, what system are you going to install.
So Nichola starts googling and she's like this, She's like this system here.
He's like yeah yeah. So once she goes well, only says it
cost nine hundred dollar from the ring website. Yeah, but you know,
I've got to change your system. You're going from your solar now you're gonna
be using this and infinity this and fucking this that the other on all these
pressure terms. And I'm just like, I think he knows he's talking about
it. It seemed like a nice guy, like I love to go beating.
Of course, he's a salesman. That's what they're supposed to do.
Be your friend. So eventually we're just like all right, just go ahead,
but we need to fix us. Just do it. I called my
dad first, and my Dad's like, I got mine fixed like two years
ago. It was like two thousand dollars. That seems like a lot of
money to me anyway, So we went through with it. He starts taking
the ads like that, yeah exactly. Then the guy who missed that call
originally the local guy, calls up and he goes high and just it's Bruce
here, just wondering if, by the way, Geelong hot water. That's
shout out to Long Water Bruce at Long Hot Water anyway. So he's just
like, oh, so, I said, I'm sorry, someone's already here
and they're fixing it. He's like, if you don't mind me asking,
what's what's he charging you to fix this? And I said five thousand,
two hundred and he goes, you're fucking joking me, and I went,
is that too much? He goes too much? He goes what is he
doing? And I explained it and he goes, I could have that done
for you for twenty six hundred. I'm like, that's literally half twenty six
ninety because I've got to take away the tame as well, because I'm like,
you can do it now, and he goes, yeah, tell you
go, tell him to stop, tell him to fuck off, and I'll
do it for you, my dad. It's literally what he said. He
goes, just te him to fuck off, Like I don't think I can.
I'm like, he'd already started. He goes, have you signed anything?
I said, I signed the thing to say that he'd been. He
goes, you haven't paid him any money? Have you said that? He
goes, taling a fuck off. Okay, First of all. Shout out
to Bruce. What a man, what a lord. I'm sorry Dan,
Guys like you and me who are just hapless and hopeless when it comes to
home repairs or this kind of thing. People like Bruce are guardian angel they
really, I'm sure they look at us as like, oh, ypathetic thing.
Oh no, exactly right to swoop in and say no, I'll do
it for half and tell that guy to fuck off. It's like, oh,
I feel like the re I feel like the gringe. My heart is
just swelling inside. Oh they were still good people in the world. Shout
out to Bruce and Gelong hot water. Oh, because he could have easily
gone, I'll do it for thirty five hundred, you know what I mean,
it's still cheap and yes, pe yeah, yeast like and he goes,
look as long as long as yeah, as long as you give me
a cup of coffee and a couple of biscuits, I'll do for twenty six
ninety. And I'm like, I was just about to say Nicola would make
him some cookie, or you would. I love the very twentieth century tradesman
approach. Oh oh yeah, come just make it, make us a cover,
make us a coup and a teddyber biscuit. Oh man, oh this
story. So some one outside and my heart's raised, and I'm like,
this guy's like, I don't know what do I do? What do I
do? Like I tod this time to go away. I can't just say
fuck off, and I'm just like I'm just like I look, with reascessible,
we're freaking out. I don't think we can afford it right now.
Look, we'll just have to go. And he goes, oh, you're
kidding me, and I was like, no, no, we can't go.
That's right, And he actually couldn't have been lovely about it, like
made it all safe and stuff like that. And I just felt bad because
I'm like, oh, this guy thinks he's gonna get a job, and
he's ill said, I'm sorry, mate, and he goes, look,
I'm an employee. Whether I do this job or not is not going to
impact how much you get paid today. I was like, I ain't give
a fuck. So like he's just like and apparently his manager was just like,
no, you must keep doing it, and he just ignored it,
so he to him as well. But like, but Bruce came over this
morning and fixed it, and holy shit, just what an absolutely just like
you said, Guardian angel Nicola made him his coffee, had a couple of
business. He's sitting out there two hours later we had a hot water fixed
again. Oh, because that really is one of them. I mean,
I'm sitting in my house right now. I'm thinking about various things like guttering
could really be replaced, or you know, you notice a crack in your
plastering or something like that. It's like, this house is not about to
blow away or sink into the ground or anything like that, but there's stuff
that needs to be done, but it's not urgent. But yeah, something
like hot water. It's like, and particularly today because in any downtowns Along
it's not sunny downtowns Along it's cold as fuck. It's cold as fuck and
want hold water at that time. I mean, it's it's it's a it's
a vital thing. I'm sorry. We're as soft as baby shit here in
the in the year around Lord twenty twenty three needs hard. But this guy,
Bruce, Bruce by the one then before you'd come over on the day,
he was like, look, you can either knock go out there and
have the conversation to pay five grand, or you can go out and have
a the Yorkard conversation and save yourself twenty six hundred dollars. And I was
like, I think I'll go with the twenty six hundred saving. Thank you.
Look, it is an awkward conversation that's worth two and a half grand.
Yeah, that's I literally just said to Nicola, I'm Nickela, you
stay in the house. I don't know how is it going to go down?
Because tradesmen at times can be very unpredictable. And when a guy thinks
he's just got a five thousand dollars job and he tell him to go away,
I'm like, is he going to go away? I've made him already
too far into this. I'm like, what do I do then? And
then yeah, and then I can tell You're not can you? And I'm
like, no, I can't. I wouldn't seen that, Nickel. I'm
calling Bruce. I'm getting Bruce over here right now. It's like, oh,
fuck, Bruce hits the Bault. You mean Bruce rom to Long?
What holy shit? Bruce? You know John Wick. It's like John Wick,
you shoe Bruce's page. It's like, oh, you must leave right
now Bruce is like the John Wick of plumbers. It's funny because my plumber's
name is actually David Hardwick. Okay, also a good guy. But he
replaced my hot water system a while back. And it's one of those ones
who's like, yeah, like I said, you need hot water, but
also when it goes around and saying water is going everywhere, and that's just
that's a ship thing to have happened. The guy that came first, he
was like, if you don't get this fixed to day out of Garanteed by
that Tuesday, your whole system is going to I can get leaks in the
roof. And I'm like, oh no, everything that can go my collectible
buses in the roof. They're gonna get women coming. God, but Dad
would rudmate film goop ups cook on his face. Oh man, Oh goodness
mate, Oh Dando. That was truly the wettest story of a told.
I thought it was quite fitting for this episode. By the way, speaking
of the four figure discount, our podcast, Universe, The Succubus Side and
Adventure Southfolk, I was about to say the unified theory still holds up.
We're not planning any of this. People it's just happening. No, I
mean we planned some things, but that we didn't plan. I mean,
in the grand skin of the actual timeline, people are going, what are
you talking about? You reviewed The Succubus weeks ago. We're recording a bunch
of podcasts right now, so we're can a go in on holiday and have
to record on our holiday. But as we record this, we just recorded
our of view of the Succubus where Chef's girlfriend Rode Girl plays the Morning After,
and then this one we get the Morning After the Simpsons version. We
do indeed, and dare I say not as good? Not as good at
oh? I just when I saw the beside An Adventure, I was like,
Okay, well guys at least gonna like this, and I'm watching it,
I'm like, this is the probably the funniest of the three because it's
more like pop culture references. But I'm like, I still haven't that funny.
It felt mostly pop culture remsens end. It just feels like these things
here now they just get the Simpsons episode Simpsons characters and put them into the
roles, but don't actually really make that many jokes about it. It's just
this person is coming with a guy, this person as Flannders, this person
at home, and I was like, and but what's the point of this?
Why am I watching this? That was pretty much the case. Yeah,
I mean, look, I was happy to see aside Adventure take off.
I was even more happy to see a mutiney on the Bounty take off.
I mean, that's a that's a movie though, well there are various
there have been various remakes of it over the years, but it's one that
I really dug as a kid. I'm like, oh, they're Captain Blair.
Seems like real Dick good on that Fletcher Christian. But maybe Blair had
a point. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, like I said,
they chose interesting stories and they just did nothing with them. Hey,
my favorite Did you have any favorite moments from this episode? Because I haven't
actually writtenkny down have I have two, one of which is, hey,
it's Weezer. I like hearing Weezer and they yeah, they once again wrote
a check for the soundtrack department and like, let's get Islands in the Sun,
one of my favorite Weezer songs. So I was happy to hear that.
That's like the Weezer Summer Side. Maybe Buddy Holly, right, I
reckon, Yeah, I think Island and the Sun is far more I think
it's even more popular Buddy Holly, though I think it could be. It's
such a cheerful song, I mean, and just just a cruisy, cruising
little number. I might prefer Buddy Holly. But still the Sun is a
pretty good song. And I did like Mo breaking the fourth wall at some
stage where he's saying, yeah, that's how we talk. Yeah weird,
huh. I mean yeah, I guess the whole point of just be making
fun of how they talk, though, as opposed to actual like, but
the thing is, when you when you just retelling stories, there's no there's
no room for sort of expanding on it. I guess there is, like
you sort of based your story on that, because but it feels like it
feels like here they're just retelling the stories as opposed to basing their own version
on the usual story. Just it just feels very nothing like that first segment
just sort of felt like you were just no jokes, jokes were really Oh,
isn't it funny how these people talk? And I'm like, maybe,
no, not really, But I didn't mind. I shouldn't mind the little
bits in between the stories at their frying dutchment. Really, I mean it
was it was it was okay to see an octopus with a bunch of knives.
That was kind of cool. Yes, But the basketball thing, I'm
like, what why? Really? Maybe, and I'm just trying to find
something. I forget the fit. We're getting a lot of man, well,
that's what this episode sort of just epitomizes, just the yeah, just
a little shrug. It is a bit of a shrug. Next question,
you there eating the paste. It is trivia time, which means it is
also now time to read out the names. Give some shout outs to our
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Thank you so much guys for being Patreon producers here at four Fingered Discount.
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But also some special shoutouts now to our man Elliott J. O'Neill from
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get your name right out on every show we do here. Okay, let's
get into some trivia questions. Can you name three of the items on the
wallpaper at the frying dutchment? And I just remember the swordfish is the one
that gets him? Is it steering wheel? Is that one of them?
Yes? That is yeah, one of the ship's wheel. Ship's wheel,
yep, yep. I don't know. The other tattoo is one of them.
There was also the popeye tattoo, the gilligan hat, and the fish
with boobs. Okay, I'm mermaid, Okay, moment, all right.
My question is what is the name of the worker that Sea Captain hankshi on
whilst playing basketball. It's Julio. Julio. Correct in your face, Julio.
I believe. What are the numbers that are the two digit numbers that
Lisa adds together, And what is the result of those two numbers? Some
of those two numbers, So it's eighty four, eighty three one of the
two. You're a little lower, little lower, so it's eighty one.
No, no lower than that. You are half right, I thought I
thought it was forty one plus like thirty two or something. The two numbers
were thirty one plus forty three, which come to seventy four. Oh,
seventy four. I was way off, all right. My next one is
it was day what of the voyage? Oh one time I look away because
I've got a lot of dates and a lot of all that gun of bitiness.
It is twenty twenty four less than the Simpsons address. Well, now
I've got to remember this, remember rather than my head at seven four two
over Green Darris and what was in it was my understanding there would be no
maths today. But speaking of which, what year does the mayflower'll leave England?
What what year? No idea? Sixteen twenty sixteen twenty And I'll try
and find one more trivia question here for you. Which character gets split in
half and has a sight gag death in the final segment that is crusty le
clown. M See, I haven't seen these films, so I'm showing there's
a lot of references here that goes straight over my head. But you'll get
to carry the carry the load this episode, I think with the things that
are pointing out direct references to the films, loads. Okay, this episode
was a load. The four Figure Discount Network is brought to you by our
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finger Discount link is in the description of this podcast. So the original air
day of the Wetter Stories Ever Told was April twenty third, two thousand and
six, written by Jeff Westbrook and directed by Mike B. Anderson. No
Chalk Gab at the Couch Gag was where Homer solves a chicksaw puzzle of the
family. He places Maggie's head and his in the wrong positions and saying Dalt
and the immediately fixes the mistake and starts giggling to himself. So the episode
kicks off with the family at the Frien Dutchman and when I always like going
to the Frien Dutchman because it reminds me of the oil Can Eat storyline,
which is still to this date one of my favorite Homer side stories. That's
one of the FA's one of my favorite betpots of all time. There could
have been me that's just full of group. Yeah, let's just talk about
that episode. Does this look like the actions of a man who truly had
only get eat so good? Actually? Know what? My favorite line from
the episode, sorry, we'll go to the backup winter store. Just the
resignation in Marge's boys and then what happened? We went fishing? That was
written by Colnard O'Brien. Can you believe it? That's the one that's not
the one that no one ever talks about because he's got home, he goes
to college, and he's got Marge as the monorail and then new kid on
the block, which is where I can't remember her name, but the one
that plays the tomboyish daughter from Roseanne. What's her name? Sarah Gilbert.
Sarah Gilbert. Yeah, she plays the teenager that moves in next door to
um Laura Powers next sort to the Simpsons and okay, now, my pars,
that's when Jimbo's pants are chafing it. Yeah, so you got that
as the as the main story in the b plot of Home they're pretty much
sort of fifty fifteen that episode. But I always see that Home at one
as a b plot. But what an episode? What end episode? What
a run? I'm sorry, kind and O'Brien just just an absolute legend.
Imagine if he just like wrote an episode every season, he should go back
and start writing again. He's not doing nothing now, he's just doing his
podcast. Go write some all Simpson's episodes. Please make it happen. Do
it for fun, Just do it for fun. We can, we can
make him, make him do it. Let's let's start a petition online.
I'm not sure if I've ever I'm sure I would have mentioned it in the
time that we've been talking about The Simpsons and mentioned Gardan O'Brien. I just
there was a line that he had. It wasn't even a comedy routine,
but he was in some interview that he I think with Rolling Stone, and
they were talking about how sort of straight laced he was and how how you
know, sort of he seemed like a fairly regular dude. And he started
going on about I don't know, man, I want to put a butter
on a croissant. You don't want to saying croissons are baked with butter.
I don't give a fuck. I could just hear his voice, though it's
not it's not necessarily the funniest thing you're ever going to hear, but sort
of you hear it coming out of Conan O'Brian's like, that's pretty good.
I said that Nicolas put butter on the croissant. I'm like, are they
like just butterlery brandche and And I'm like, all right, I'm gonna leave
it. I will leave this. Yes, that what a what a good
time that was? Yeah? You are you much of a croissanto man?
I feel like you'd be a croissanto man? I am in some ways.
I mean there are some there are some times. There are some days when
nothing will do the job better than a bacon, sorry, a ham,
cheese and tomato croissant toasted. Yeah, nothing better. You go through bean
Squareze gets some coffee one of those. Oh yeah, there was also there's
a bakery not far from real place, Lamardre, a very nice one over
towards Gray mccallaway. Yeah. Yeah. They used to make an armored Croissan
that also had pistachio in it, and of a Saturday morning and be like,
well, I'm going out to get a coffee and my favorite armond pistachio
croisson and then they discontinued it. The discontinued my favorite Croissot except for you.
That's a line that I really had lure the ladies in. That was
heavy a wonderful weekend until they discontinued my favorite Croissan. See that's um that
line was probably as gay panicky as this episode, which is just chock a
block with gay panic. Oh it really is. I feel like I could
um use that though. That that that croissant you were talking about that there
is like if Nicola really makes me angry to slip one of those into a
croissant bag game over, buddy, Oh Brendon, an armored pistachio. Why
don't you put some budget on that, Chryssie Nicola, Oh, I just
didn't do it. All my good work. Uh man. Anyway, food
return to the wetter stories ever told? Just give through this shit. So
the food, the food taken ages at the fran Dutchman Homer works at the
pattern on the on the wall. I tend to do that sometimes if I
see a wall that has a pattern on it, I'm like, where does
it begin? And where does it end? And you actually feel like you've
accomplished something when you can find it. You feel like you've cracked the code.
Sometimes I buy shirts to have like all over patterns, like patterns all
over and I'm like, okay, so this is where the pattern begins and
this is where it starts. So yeah, it's like you've you've cracked the
code, like I said, you're doing Yeah, You're like, what's his
name is? Zach Galliphan arcis in there? Or beautiful mind shit? So
just like yeah, yes, and Flanders and make it the the Octopus of
the Knives and the sea captain offers the bus boy to go to get a
better restaurant, to get some more food. He says, just in the
meantime, he will tell an old sea yam. But he doesn't know any
but Lisa. Then somehow knows the story of the may Flower. I means
she might know. She's pretty smart kid. She tells the story of the
Mayflowers journey, the one that brought the prostitutes, which she cracks as the
Protestants. Then, yeah, basically that is retail the may for our journey.
There's nothing that's all that's sort of funny. So we've got the Perth
Harbor in England. They the family there, Marge Butt and Lisa's Maggie in
this something. It's just Marge Barton Lisa, right. I can't recall any
Maggie in any of these was there maybe not anyway, But they decide to
help Homer the man he jumps in. They don't know at this point.
He's hiding in a barrel and I say, you know, let'll spare this
man. And he's actually praying for their death that you know, that they
get killed instead of stead of him, because they're after him for some reason
I can't remember anyway. Flanders he is Flandish in this one, stupid Flandish,
and he's very religious, overly religious, you know, whips himself for
saying a poem and laid on. He whips himself for thinking of a woman
as a woman. What do you say, miss constance, prudence, chastity,
good faith. My friends call me Marge. Marge, obedience, temperance,
sex, won't back offbe we're engaged. I didn't kill her husband,
just so, I mean, I didn't kill her husband engaged. It's really
more of an amiable kind cons such language from a woman. Oh no,
I just thought of you as a woman. The reverend is doing his sermon,
and they did this a lot in the latest South part that reviewed as
well. Not the Psychopus song before there's combustion one spontaneous combustion. Let us
love when I get like a reverend. The comedy just making a mockery of
religion. So here it's like, even though he's surrounded us by water,
which if we drink, will kill us, It's like, why's the logic
in that guide? What were you thinking, buddy? I will surround you
in water which you can't breathe under, and if you drink it, you
will die. But if you're smart enough to you know, build a boat.
You know it'll be nice and buoyant and deep enough that you can travel
to other parts of the other other land forms much off. We could just
breathe under water, they wouldn't have just save a lot of the hassle.
It would be I would just beat up Jason Mama and take over as aquaman.
I feel like if even if I could breathe under water, I still
wouldn't go under water. I'm just like, you know, Bruce Well,
brucey right, tell me today he's shown me photos of craze. He goes
scuba diving, he catches these giant fucking craze out here in the bay,
right, And I'm like, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't scuba
dive. I'd be just too scared, especially like if I can't if I
can't see the bottom, I ain't getting in. That's always my just freaks
me out. Oh, I get where you're coming from. I mean,
I've seen enough movies with sea monsters to be like their must have beasties done
something. So yeah, I'm not I'm not going in, And then says
even his time in like the time that they're living in sixteen hundreds would have
it was He said, even he's still a bad husband for them, but
then makes a joke at home his expense, so he starts choking him and
this is what makes Marge or horny because he reminds her of her ex husband
who used to also choke Bart in the same way. And it's like,
oh my god, they'll assume be exchang pleasantries and what nice weather Like that's
pretty good. Then Mo throws a party because only half of people have died
so far on the journey beer. Who thought you guys didn't drink on the
gay flower? Stop calling that whatever? They can't go an episode and sits
and seven team without a gay joke? Can there? There's a few in
this one. There's just a little throwaways that yeah, not really that clever.
That's like homos phobia, the episode which is all about homophobic being homophobic.
The jokes were clever in that, Yeah, everything made sense. Everything
was so tongue in cheek, but in good nature, this is just import
taste. All this, yeah, I mean homos phobia, I mean can
be enjoyed by progressives and homophobes alike. Where this is just like not at
all kind of care those homophobes. And there's massive storm and during the storm
they need the team to help them out, the crew, but unfortunately they
are all downstairs getting drunk because Mo showed home U the beer and said,
every time you wayf hits the boat, you need to have a drinks,
so you gotta have a drunk. Homer gets blamed for it all. But
then Flandish gets knocked out and they need a new captain. So Hammer says
he's going to step up, but he's been handcuffed in what are these things
called the gallows? That's the stock stock sucks, yes, yes, and
yeah. By the way, what something I did like in this episode is
sort of quick throwaway, but Marge gets all disappointed. I was gonna let
you touch my elbow through cloth. Put baby, A man has needs.
Okay, I'll pay that. Homer, he gonna need help peeing. In
the next strokes, they all stand aside and it's Smithers. They're like,
oh, I get it because he wants to touch on his willy because he's
gay. Oh I guess we'll never make it to the New World. Only
landed. I was going to denounce my sister as a witch. I'll keep
telling you the ability to add two digit numbers is not witchcraft. Four whishi
whish preopolicious madness. We could burn the witch later. No, I've got
to stave this ship. Hey, I've been driving drunk since I was twelve.
But first, who's gonna help me? Pee? They're looking at me
because I have the key to the starks. Then Albatross arrives and it's going
to lead them to safety, which it does, but then Homer eats it,
and I believe Flanders names it New England. Reverend? Who names it
New England? Was it, Reverend? I think it was Flanders? Flanders?
Maybe it was Flanders? Yeah? Two, anyway, quit New England.
That's original. Yeah, And they come across Chief wig Um and they
offer him some pumpkin pie, and of course they're going to take his land
and wipe him out, and that's the end. Yeah, all funny games.
The second indeed, let's have a little break, play some basketball onto
the second story. Yeah, I believe that the second that was the last
one, and the second one was the sea captain brings the bill, which
I haven't but I haven't actually eaten the food yet. That's the second little
bit in between. But mister bly So, this is about the ount here.
Did you want to take the reins of this one? So? Was
this was this like a good takeoff of the Bounty story or was it just
all the Bounty is a true story. Yes, yes, but there's a
movie space on it though. This was this more ta take on the movie
version of all the story. I think more of the story. There are
be at least three versions that I remember, and then I sort of watched
growing up. I mean, there was one from the ninety thirties that had
you know, um old timey movie stars like Charles Lawton and Clark Gable.
There was one with Marlon Brando in the I think in the fifties or the
early sixties. But then I made one of the eighties with Anthony Hopkins as
Captain Bly and Mel Gibson as Fletcher Christian just called the Bounty had a really
good supporting house. Liam Neeson's in there, Daniel day Lewis all in sort
of like supporting what I was like, Wow, this guy had a knife
for talent. Yeah, But essentially the story of the Bounty is the Bounty
takes off for you know, an exploration mission captain by by William Bly,
who was a bit of a martinet. He you know, was very much
a my way of the Highway kind of guy, and you know, like
we're doing it this way, and you know, I'm not brooking any shenanigans
from my sailors. You'll get whipped or you'll you know, you know,
you won't get your rum ration or some shit like that. Um and his
first mate and his actual good mate, Fletcher Christian was kind of like,
this is not really a way to run a ship, dude, We're going
up my way. And then it's Christian basically oversaw the mutant, he said,
getting that little rowboat. And because they went that as in as the
story here shows, they went to Tahiti, had a good time with the
local Tahitians. Bli was kind of like, none of this. We're getting
back on the boat and doing something exploring. No, we hated on the
boat, hence the muting. So yeah, that's pretty much it. They
just let's move back through then, shall we. Yeah, And they just
reworked it here with Skinner as Captain, Blibe, Bart as Fletcher Christian and
the kids as the crew. What's the name of the episode? Is it
Camp Crusty where the kids sort of go or Lord of the Flies and take
over They take over at the camp, But also Lord the Flies was more
the Dusk Bus. They get lost on the island. Correct, Yeah,
sorry, my mistake. Um, but yeah, that's all there is to
um there, the muting on the bounding and their view version of muting on
the Bounty. It's got more m what do you call it, more gay
panic because what was it? You're gay for Kearney. It's like boons get
connected or something. I'm pretty sure that I think, I think pretty sure
in the Final Life tho, because they come back at the end. Yeah
that's right. Yeah, yeah, I did get a laugh out of the
brochure that that lure the kids onto being on the Bounty. It's like less
skirvy, more kirthy. I wrote that down as well. I was gonna
be on a trivia questions I forgot to write it down. Yeah, a
very good little tagline there, But basically what you just said, it was
essentially what this is like. There's no sort of that didn't differentiate from the
story at all. It's just replaced the characters of Simpsons people and it's like
the occasional joke but it's wasn't but it wasn't even all that funny. It's
just not really No, No, I didn't I didn't mind the we're not
on the island. We're not on Tahiti. I didn't mind the little like
the on and the sun playing in the back of it. We get like
the carving the faces Lord ugly face, and the guy joking fire please help?
Why did you help for me? And things like that, But there's
there's really isn't much to tell with this one. It's just not that funny
at all. Not really. No, I think this might be the most
forgettable episode I've reviewed for the podcast ever. It's just so there. But
he's Yeah, I mean, here's the thing. You're normally a very enthusiastic
fellow. You know, your joy of the Simpsons cannot be tamped down.
And I'm not going to say, yeah, just phone ring in to day
down because you're not. But yeah, I mean, this is the kind
of episode that does not really reward in depth analysis. No, because the
least tree Us of Horror. They it's different, like they get they get
a story, but they sort of they retail it in the Simpsons way and
make it more gory or let's gory whatever whatever it is, add more Simpsons.
They simpsonize it. Here, they didn't really really simpsonize Besides just replacing
the characters with Simptons characters, and it's just like, well, what's the
fucking points? Yeah, very true, very true. I've got to say
I'm glad that you're hot. Order system shit itself gets the first up and
out of the show, but then the you know, so basically skim will
skim through it. So as he said, mister Blair is Skinner and Bart
who is Bart playing? What's the character called Fletcher Christian? Fletcher Christian,
that's right, yes, Fletcher Christian. And they they're not gonna getting any
more water, so they they go to Tahini, Tahiti. As you're saying,
as I said when I got there. When I got there, I
didn't mind it there. But um, but then when they leave they do
the mutiny. Um. He wants to see a Sea Shandy, but they
won't, so they said, no, we're gonna fuck you off. They
say, he suggests a suggestion box, but the last person that suggested the
suggestion box they got their head cut off, which was Martin, so they
kicked him off the boat with Willie, Paulaly got tired along with him.
It makes Willy he wants really to sing a cea shanty. He can't.
He says, you know, you're two spilets for a mutiny. Cut to
Skinner, now I'm mister blind. Now on a turtle he has, He
got the turtle and turtin and takes him under the water, and that's pretty
much it. Well, he so, what's the deal with the removing all
evidence of the previous regime? He takes away the wheel? Is that a
reference to the story in any way? Do they take away the wind?
Not? To my understanding, I think that's just Bart being an idiot.
Okay, that's why they crash. And do they crash at the South Pole?
Is that what happens? I don't know the story, so I don't
think that happens in mutiney on the Bounding. I think they've just folded a
bunch of seafaring exploits into into it. I mean, there's it feels like
there's a bit of um the Russell Crowe movie Master and Commander in there for
a minute. There's certainly parts of the Caribbean stuff as well. Yeah,
but that's that's all there is to it. You're right, there's just nothing
there, and that's this is the thing. Also, what doesn't help for
me as a viewer, is that the whole sea voyage story element. It's
a movie or whatever. It's just never really interested me. That Master in
Commanding a movie just mentioned there. I ever washed it because I'm like,
I don't give a fuck like it, Like, sea voyages just don't interest
me. Pirates kinder, but just like just see voyages going out in the
seas and I'm just like, I fucking care. I think I said not
long ago, I was like, I wish I like Pirates of the Caribbean
more, but I don't. Yeah, maybe that's got something to do.
Maybe, But the vile our tears to see Captain he's out playing basketball now
with the crew instead of getting the Simpsons their food, So haven't then tells
the story of the Poseidon Adventure. It's his tale of moist adventure and basically
again it's just like retailing the Posidon Adventure. So is this pretty much sort
of beat for beat the movie or do they put a bit of a Simpsons
twist in here, because I haven't a little little bit of a Simpsons twist,
but yeah, not a whole lot. Essentially, the Posidon Adventure is
yeah, like they say, it's a lovely cruise ship. It's like,
oh this is it's it's like a modern day Titanic. Nothing I'll ever sink
this ship. Oh my god. It's a big wave and it turns it
upside down. The vivors are like, well, we've got to go up
to get down or down? Yeah, yeah, up to get to the
bottom and then we can hopefully be rescued. But not everyone makes it,
and they've got to go through various hazards along the way. U Eventure us
to play on TV all the time when I was a kid, so I
think I must have seen it like five or six times on Channel ten,
which was kind of fun. It was an incredibly successful movie. It was
yeah. I mean it was directed by, or at least produced by,
this guy named Irwin Allen, who had a real run of disaster movies in
the ninety seventies. He was kind of like the nineties seventies version of Roland
Emeric with Independence Day in the Day Tarrying Inferno, right. He did Tarrying
Inferno as well, and a few others that weren't quite as good but were
still. He did one called The Swarm. It was about a big swarm
of African killer bees that invaded America, and he always got these really big
name casts. Yeah, they were kind of fun to watch. I mean
they're they're very cheesy. You look at him now, it's like, oh
my god, hold the cheese. But yeah, so this is, yeah,
essentially the Poseidon Adventure. There's a passenger ship gets capsized and people have
got to make their way through the wreckage to say, because you know,
there's got to be a morning after if we can only hold on to the
night I am. I didn't mind mister Burns as the captain of all the
different sort of references to capsize, but just you get free caps to make
sure you give us your capsize. Enjoy the episode, down Cake. One
thing that I did notice in here was, you know, because it's a
very seventies movie episode in adventure, and Simpsons paid tribute to that by just
throwing out a lot of seventies references, most of which I got because I'm
old. But I think it's Barney here Willie Stargel, and I'm like,
I never heard that person. Let's google Willie. It turns out was the
left fielder for the Pittsburgh Pirates, the baseball team back in the day.
There we go. So that's who Willie Stargel is. People. You had
fun and you learned a little something too. Oh it sounds like guys struggling
to Breathe is just because he didn't guard almighty massive sneeze just before. He's
still trying to come trying to make for It's like the probably should ken.
We're not on live radio here, I probably could have pause. I'm just
like, is this your polite way? Him saying, guy, go back
and say everything you just said. Take a breath. I can just tell
me you're You're just you're trying to get through it. I'm just like,
backs, man, take you take a second. I want to get this
over. This episode. What a fascinating cross section of humanity. You've got
the lonely but lovable loser, Hello angels. You're mission to day involves going
undercover any with T shirt contest just get you whit? Maybe that's so lovable.
And you've got the elderly Jewish couple making their first trip to Israel.
I was sanch Schlomo is working on a kibbutz in Hifa. We're slipping him
some claplack. They're Jewish all right, elderly Jewish couple here and the Lovable
Loser, which I'm assuming at characters in the movie. Do you have an
old Jewish couple or something in the movie there is an old Jewish couple.
Yeah. Yeah, And who was a comic book guy playing? Is there
a guy that like ties of rope and drowns or something? No, because
one of the in the movie, one half of the Jewish couple is um.
She's this sort of older, kind of overweight lady who's like, apologies
to listeners here, I'm gonna put on a very stereotypical Jewish woman accent.
When I was a girl, cracked myself up doing it. When I was
a girl, I was a swimming champion. So I'm gonna, you know,
I'm pretty sure I can swim under water and go, you know,
make it way through it. And she does. She you know, she
sends a rope through so everyone can get through, but then she has a
heart attack and dies. Okay, spoiler warning for the Pardon Adventure. So
that's um. That's a very similar voice to aunt. What's the who's the
aunt? The great aunt in the Nanny? You know it was a great
Yenta. Yeah, I was gonna say, it's it's it's yetter. Is
it getter yet Ye? Anyway, that's what that's what you're sounding like.
Then thank you, Dan, though, oh dear, that's terrible. Match
about to enjoy doing those eggs. We get crust. He's been cut in
half. So I'm assuming somebody gets cut in half in the movie, he
said, maybe not. I don't remember. Not to the best of my
recollection, there has been a while since I saw The Posidon Adventure. You
know what it did remind me of, though, the one of my favorite
opening acts to any horror movie ever. I don't remember anything else about the
movie, but I remember seeing this at the movies and being scared shitless.
Ghost Ship got ship. Yeah, I'm like, whenever just sort of slides
split in half. It's just like, whoa shit, did not see that
coming? What an opening? What an opening scene. It's really good.
And then you wait for the rest of the movie to sort of catch up
to that, and it's like, I think they shot there one a little
early. Yeah, yeah, because that's right at the start. Man,
it's an awesome starts. It's so good ship. Go YouTube goot ship opening
scene. It's it's well worth it the rest of the movie. But then
Homer, he jumps off the roof to safety, says Flanders guy me and
Flanders helped me, and he goes up to flats mustache and extends it.
Is there a guy with a big mustache in the movie it's the seventies,
I'm assuming there is probably yes. I hope then counts down to New Year's
because this will happens to the New Year's Day, right, And then in
the movie it does happen on New Year's Eve day. YEA, somewhere here
she's read some brochures. I'm showing is a movie women in the movie,
he's read some brochures or whatever, and she knows the safety or how to
get out. I think it's kind of a combination of she's meant to be
that character who I was imitating him earlier, but then okay, a comic
book guy doing the swim instead. Yeah, okay, yep, and the
rumber instructor has been eaten by a shark. What shall we do? Give
me a token? I'm in the bathroom. What I have great ass suction?
How about a little privacyAt myth? I have ever dropped something in the
toilet. I nearly dropped my phone the toilet once, and like it's one
of those moments where I'm just like there is a guide because I was like
I was like taking a league. It was on my phone and I dropped
it and one of those things where it's just like you're like trying to juggle
it and you let go and he goes down. I was like waiting for
the bloop, but it hit the seat and so like spun around on the
seat and it's like teated like a car on the edge of a cliff in
a movie. And I'm just like slowly lick it up. It's gone.
If I try to grab it off the seat, they might just fall in.
So I stuck my hand like into the bowl and went and flicked it
out. So it's like it's like the opposite of space jam, you know,
where it's like the balls just on the rims. There's it gonna go
in there, gonna go and is it gonna be here. It's like you
don't want it to go in always go. Yeah. I was just it's
just like be very very careful hand in the toilet and flip. I've never
dropped anything, only my glasses. I do live and do that. That's
where you found your glasses. Whatever you do, don't look down, I
meet up. I can't do this anymore. It's still confusing, not that
confusing. So Lenny falling off there, I've read that a woman falls off
to her death and it's almost like they're making fun of the character who dies
this way in the movie. So I'm assuming the fact that she falls seems
a bit over the top and silly does it in the movie? Probably?
Yeah, I think so. Yeah, there's a lot of There is a
fair bit of falling in the psychanger. Then Sicho mail of course, because
he can't go itn episode without Sicho mel uses his Swiss army bone and then
we get the underwater guideline and so the inspirational music. So is the is
that so hey, You're back? I can see? So is that music
that he plays learned again naturally? Is that in the movie as well?
No? No, but that's just a very seventy song. It is a
very seventy song. Yeah, But kicks him in and he goes and he
gets as he said, saves the day. But it has some fried chicken
on the way through, and then has the heart attack because he's fat home
and then he says, tell the world that I saved you all. Don't
tell you what to do. Then s melgets his hair caught on fire when
they're trying to weld open the side of the ship, and it was well
painful the flame or the iony, he says, the iony. They all
hop out home. I can't believe. Oh my god, the boat's upside
down. And then these skeletons from the Bounty episode drive by who were out
all dead because they were stranded. And that's the end of this shitty episode.
We made a dand who made it? Yeah? We made it indeed.
Man, this just felt like I mean, I hate criticizing the Simpsons,
but sometimes they send this stuff out and you just think, like I
always say, how and why, there's got to be but there's a level
level of filter in the Simpsons, sort of like structure. Surely they get
to got to somebody on an upper level and ever they've gone, this isn't
all that funny. But I guess at this point they're working on the Simpsons
movie, and it felt like the show suffered as a result. Felt like
this the movie became their focus and the show just a quality. The quality
controller was not there, was it? Especially this one? No, not
really. I mean I think I prefer an episode that is at least taking
a big swing and you know, whiffing, as opposed to one that's just
like, Okay, these are stories that already exist. You know, people,
people know the Beats, you all know that hits everyone, and let's
just replace characters with the simpon as people that you know and love. It's
like, it's not enough, guys, it really isn't. Yeah, this
was just a shame. This is, yeah, something I can't recall having
seen the first time around, and we'll probably no, we'll never revisit.
It's just my point. The thing is like, the first two acts just
felt so similar in a sense. It's just like just the Simpsons characters on
a boat. It's like on a ship. And I'm like, at least
the poside An Adventure one felt different. It's them trying to get out of
the wreckage, but the first two was just there's really just it's just a
bunch of Simp's characters on on a fucking boat boat. I just don't care
at all. Anyway, what are you gonna do? What do we learn
Balmer? What did you learn from this episode? Mister Davis? What did
I learn from this episode? That if you regularly eat dolphin, there's going
to be a booger or two in the mix. That's the way it goes.
He's going to be Indeed, I learned that I'm never gonna watch this
episode again. That's what I learned. Do not rewatch the wetter stories ever
told so, but by all means, keep listening to this episode. Of
course, if you think of discount of some pretty exciting new names coming up
right now from this forward, your name droll be okay, mister Davis,
the new name. Championship leader board stands at this in first position Luke McKay
on fifteen points, in second position Kyle Muldoon on twelve, and in third
position we have both Adam Woolhouse and Heath Appleby both on ten points. Take
it away, let's go. One point goes to Trillo Ce Trillo s not
bad. That is what's the leader. Luke McKay, he's got at an
extra point to his tally, taking himself to sixteen point. Ruse. Let's
see who's going to get two points for the heart of the dopetion. Oh,
I'd love the dose. Oh, Heath applebe again. Oh, now
he's in second position two points, twelve points, now, Heath, that
will be well done. So, by the way, before we get to
three points, it's something I wanted to point out. There's a few alternative
titles in here that would generally make the cuts. A lot of them have
are dough related, particularly the Doe Side and Adventure or the Beside Dope Adventure.
Props to whoever gave us those ones. But I felt that the name
the new Lands and I had to pick had to encumbass all three, so
I couldn't go with just one, if you know what I mean. I
had to be fair. Yeah. So having said that, three points goes
to Nautical by Nature. That's so awesome. That's a good name. Oh,
it's their first ever points, I know, first ever points on the
leaderboard. Wow, I guess who it is. It's our man who always
asked the first question. It's one Andrew JP. JP. We're gonna I'm
betting as well that when it comes to opening them back, Andrew JP is
gonna be I'm gonna question. But congratulations Andrew JP. Welcome to the leader
board. You're a wildcard entry and you might just get a nice little something
something at the end of the New Name Challenge first Prime. Our first position
is still Luke McKay sixteen points. We have a second position Kyle muldoon and
Heat Appleby and now outright third on ten points is Adam will House so very
close to the top, and is any I think four episodes left this season,
so keep sending them through them or see who wins this episode. Debail
is here all right. First question, mister Davis, that's see who it
comes from? Who do you reckon it comes from? It's a guess,
Dave Abbot Smith. It's not Dave Abbot Smith. It is Andrew JP.
What is your favorite pirate themed movie or TV show? His his hook and
his TV show is only flag means death? Oh, our flag means death.
Our flag means death. Sorry obviously half asleep only. Um that's a
that's a good really because, as I said just a few minutes ago,
in this very episode, it's like parts of the Grin. I wish I
liked that a lot more than I do. There are bits that I like,
but yeah, um, Dan I mentioned Master and Commander starring Russell Crowe
and Paul Bettany. That's a movie that I I really like it, but
I think I respect it more than I like it. It's awfully well made,
very very well acted, and it's got some good stuff in it.
But it's one of those ones when you it's not really a rollicking adventure so
much as like a just a just a really good movie. But sometimes you
don't want a really good movie. Sometimes you want to be a nice if
you're out on the open water. Sometimes you want to a nice fill at
a fish as opposed to a nice fish dinner. There's a TV show actually
it's really good called Black Sales that's got you know, pirates like black Beard
and long John Silver in it waiting for like maybe three or four seasons.
It's really good, actually worth checking out. I believe it. It might
be on Netflix at the moment, or certainly a streaming service, but yeah,
Black Sales. I remember back in I want to say twenty five,
there was this big budget porno called Pirates. It was too I think I
ever saw it, but it was talk of the town in high school.
It's like a movie now, but it's a pawn, yeah, like a
million dollar budget or something. Yeah. I mean that was that very very
brief window where it was like, we're all going to make a heap of
money by selling these new things called DVD's, and no one knew how to
pirate them. Jesse. Yes, So, yeah, the bottom hadn't fallen
out of the market, although the bottom had probably fallen out of some some
bottoms had fallen out in this video. Imagine. I've never seen pirates,
I believe. I remember Jesse Jane was in it because everyone was like the
love of Jesse Jane at the time. Yeah, was it Jesse Jane or
Jenna Jamison. Definitely Jesse Jane. I know that kid had a copy at
school. It's like, oh my god, he's got the boots. There
was there a lot of lines about booty and there. I bet there was
a lot of lines. I never saw it, but I remember, like,
well, like when the kid brought it, Michael was his names in
my radio show with him. He brought the DVD to school and like,
how can we get this to play at the school assembly while as the principal
is giving her Yeah. But also a film which may surprise you, that
I've never seen in complete. I've only seen like the first twenty minutes or
so Muppet Treasure Island. I've never seen the full movie. Oh and givenly
that you're a bit of a Muppets aficionado, yeah, it's Tim Curry and
that isn't Tim Curry. It's the one that always escaped me. I remember,
like I was obsessed with the Muppets, but for some reason, I
never got to see it at the movies and I just never got round to
watching it. It is so strange. Like Muppets from Space I saw,
which came out a couple of years after, but Muppet Treasure Island I never
saw, and I still want to sit down and watch it. And I
watched like the first half an hour with Alliott. Oh. I want to
say maybe a month ago. It was on Disney. Plus It's actually quite
scary, to the point where I turned it off and I was like,
yeah, maybe this is why, Like I just I don't think it was
as well received as other Muppet movies. But Mupper Treasure Island one movie that
I surprisingly I have never seen. Is it that I imagine that's after Muppet
Christmas Carol? Up? Christmas Carol was ninety two. I believe Treasure Island
was ninety six and Muppets Some Space was like ninety nine. Yeah, okay,
Muppa Christmas Carrol watched that religiously. I love that movie. Everyone everyone
loves that. Everybody loves that. Michael Kane is so awesome in that movie.
Well, he's playing a real I mean he's I mean no disrespect to
wh anyone else involved him up in movies because a lot of people give really
good performances in him. But yeah, he's I've heard people say like he's
one of the best scrooges ever to be on screen ever. Yeah, so
great. But your man, your man is in The Great Mupper Caper.
Oh fuck Charles Groden, the Great Charles Groden. Yeah. Yeah, he's
awesome in that as well. That's the other thing I've heard is like he's
got more chemistry with Miss Piggy than most pleasant blood actors have. Another movie.
Yeah, it's fantastic. All right, what next question here, says
Kirsty Hodginson. If you could be any movie or TV pirate, which one
would you want to be? Oh, so you're not gonna You're not the
actor who's playing it. You are the pirates in which they're playing m I
don't think i'd want to be Um originally play again, what's he called Captain
Jack Sparrow? Yeah, Jack Sparrow. I think it wold be Jack Sparry
because the world's always everyone wants him dead. So it's like, oh no,
I would not would not want that life. And he's kind of a
lovable fuck up. He's not like a cool pirate really. I mean he's
sort of cool ish, but he's also you know, drunk half the time.
And yeah, I felt cool at the time, but you look back
up on reflection You're like, I don't think i'd want to be around this
guy just just brings trouble wherever he is and he's no help. I would
want to be a pirate that is feared, so she's just gonna go a
long John right, yeah? Or black Beard? Black Beard apparel was the
most fearsome of all true, Um, if I was to be a pirate.
H This is one I didn't mention earlier, but it's a movie that
I do like. It's a very it's an old one, but it's Australia's
own. Errol Flynn as Captain Blood. Um. Yeah, the movie is
fantastic. It's got some great sword vits in It's some great seafaring action rits.
It a really good involving story as well. Flynn still super cool in
it. You know, he's just you know, he can sword fight and
woo the ladies and you know he can be sort of roguish but also honorable.
Yeah, he's a pirate that I really did. And he's got a
good moral code as well, because you know, you um, he was
sent to a slave colony, prison colony because he because he's a doctor.
He's like a medical doctor and he looks after this uh sort of rebel leader
or something. It's like, well, you're a collaborator and we're going to
send you off, but no, no, I'm just a doctor. I
was doing my duty. And by a circumstances he ends up leading his paratshire
because he's like the best guy among the crew, and everyone's like, oh,
we respect this guy. He's going to be the leader. So it
becomes like a really cool pirate as well. It's like Captain Blood, Yeah,
that's the one that I like. Captain Blood. That is the name
of I believe, is it Diaho? That's Jack Die Jack Diet Captain Blood,
right, that was his nickname. Don't get his started on Jack Jack
was. I love that man very very much. He was by my late
father, Bob Davis, was a TV personality after he finished his football career
and he just show called League Teams on on Channel seven at eleven thirty on
Thursday nights when they show the original footy show essentially because that's when the teams
would release He's who's playing this week eleven thirty five thirty five. They did
it live every every Thursday, you know, during the footy season. And
it was my dad, Bob Davis. Lou Richards who used to play for
Collingwood and he was a Rover. He's a little guy. Louis was fantastic.
He was a fantastic fellow as well. And Jack who was the kindest,
sweetest, most soft spoken man you'd ever meet, and an absolute knuckleman
on the field. I mean, you didn't fuck with Jack. His nickname
was Captain Blood. You get messed with him, he'd end up bloody as
out. Um. Yeah, but he was. And I was always up
there, you know, sort of hang around and he was always just super
nice to me, always looking out for me. Yeah. I love Jack
dire alt. He was fantastic and on that note, Shower, that was
a lovely story. So, yeah, your fear Captain Blood the Pirate,
but you love Captain Blood the Player very much. So if you google his
image you'll find I think the most iconic image of him is just him standing
over some guy just basically giving him my back hand. We look, it
looks like he's doing the pimp slap or something. It's like, yeah,
that's scared alrighty, well, do you know the next episode we're gonna be
reviewing, Yeah, a four figure discount, mister Davis is girls just want
to have sums. But guess what, Mitch and I did that as an
exclusive skip ahead episode several years ago, so you get a week off.
I never thought I'd be saying these words out loud, but thank you,
Mitch Grinter. Yes, your listeners out there are gonna get to hear Mitch
and Dando from like twenty twenty, back before the before the pandemic, before
Mitch had a kid, everything back in the glory days, nothing could possibly
go wrong, and we enter the twenty twenties. I think life's own things
can only get better. It was one of the last things that Mitch and
I ever recorded together. So Girls Just want to Have Sums will be next
week's episode, and maybe Guy and I will do it as a Patreon exclusive
at some point, but for now you're gonna hear Mitch and Dando reviewing Girls
Just want to Have Sums. But after that, mister Davis, we shall
be reviewing the episode called Regarding Margie. So next time we're gonna hear Guy
on this show is regarding Margie. But tune in next week to hear Mitch
review Girls just want to have sums with yours truly anyway, mister Davis,
for those amazing listeners out there for the next two weeks, we hope you
have tolerated this tale of moist adventure.