Jurassic Park with Steven Ray Morris

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Speaker 1: On the Bedel Cast, the questions asked if movies have women in them, are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands, or do they have in individualism the patriarchy? Zef in best start changing it with the Bechdel Cast. Hello, and welcome to the Bechtel Cast. My name is Caitlin and you have a mouthful of seven. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. We have a podcast about the portrayal of women in movies. It's inspired by the Bechtel Test. Here are the things about the test. There have to be two women in the movie. They have to have names, they have to talk to each other, and their conversation can't be about a man. Don't understand, right, Why must we have this sounds boring? Lame? Well? Today is an episode. I didn't know if I was going to be excited for it, and then I watched the movie. I was like, you know what, I'm really excited. Oh my god. Well let's okay, let's jump in the first we have a guest speaking of men. He's been restrained. Yes, he's lowering his head in shame for being a man, as he should. We didn't bring out the Chaine. This time. It's just bungees, right, yeah, just bungees. If no one puts up, if no one seems too aggressive, we're like, okay, you're just you're bungee. He could escape if he really wanted, right, but we'll fight back. He seems fine, Yeah, he'll be He'll be great because he is great. He is the co host of the Percast, he's the producer of My Favorite Murder, and he's the host of a new podcast about the movie we're talking about today, a Jurassic Park. It's called See Jurassic Right, Stephen Ray Morris, thank you both for having me. Thanks super excited for me. I know you're happy. You're a like Jurassic Park scholar. You're a scholar that's a lot of pressure. Pressure pressure. I mean, I just I think it's one of those things where you're like, you know, when you're in college and you're like I want to love like insert impressive movie title here, But then I think over time, I was like, you know what, this is my favorite movie, Like just this is the thing that brings me the most joy. So, and you've written a collection of essays, collection of essays on Thought Catalog just kind of like the phase one of the podcasts that I'm doing now, which is just me wanting to just excessively nerd out about like the things that I just like about this movie and this franchise, you know, problems with the things that are interesting to talk about all that kind of stuff. Because I went, like you, I went to film school. So it's just a way to almost feel like I was using my degree time out. I just want everyone to know that I do have two degrees in film. One of them is a master's degree in screen running from Boston University. This is my go on, this is my new thing. I'm gonna start being a denier and like show us the show us the diploma. I have a diploma at my house. I will take a photo of it. And I'm going to be a truth. I'm going to be a Caitlin Grad School truther. We haven't seen the diploma. We don't know. Okay, I'll prove it. I got proof. We're gonna make We're gonna turn this into a dystopian podcast in which I am Donald Trump. Yeah, and I would like to be the villain. Please, Hey, that's fine. We need villains out there. Without evil. There could be no good, so it's good to be evil sometimes. That is a line from a song from the South Park movie. Here's what my dad used to say when he would be smoking outside of our house and I'd say, hey, Dad, stop smoking, it's bad for you. You'd say, sometimes it feels good to be bad, and then he keeps smoking. Cool. It was pretty cool. I mean in that way, I probably should be a smoker, because that's a moment where it's like, well, I'm sold. Yeah, Well it's even question for you. So we're talking about the ninety three o G Jurassic Park. Is this your favorite one out of all of the Okay, I mean it seems it's the only good one, so um, okay, I believe. I mean, it's that thing with Jurassic Park that the unfortunate thing is that, unlike other bigger franchises, the original is just so far and away better than the other ones that it's like people probably don't even know that there were other ones. Yeah, Lost World, the second one wasn't terrible, but by no means is it as good as Tragic Part. No, it's kind of a dragon. Even Steven Spielberg said he was like, it's not as good and I was kind of I love that he admits movies he's directed are not that good. He's like, templa doom, I don't care for it, stinker. I appreciate. I mean, I guess once you reach a certain point of money, you're like, well, I may as well tell the truth. I love that I was reading a lot about the productor. I mean, I'm sure I'm stating I'm going to bring no new facts to the table for most people. But I love that he was like doing post for this movie while filming Schindler's List, just for some levity. At the end of the day, it's like, what we've been doing the list all day, I'm going I'm going back to my my little whatever, probably very nice house I'm staying in, and I'm gonna look at some dinos to one some Dino dailies some Yeah, I didn't even think about that. Yeah, that like that would be the levity. At the end of the day, He's like, let's do the Schindler's List dailies first and then I'll watch the right. Mean, we don't have a confronted but I would have to assume you don't want to watch the Schindler's list dailies before bed, you want to watch the dinos? I would imagine, how are the dinosaur robots coming along? That seems that seems like a better midnight snack. I'll do the recap of Jurassic Park, please do, Okay, I will. So we meet a velociraptor and it's like I'm gonna eat somebody a lot of ambient dino noises great instead of asting. So we learned that there's a thing called Jurassic Park. It's a it's an amusement park. And but because there was this attack, the creator of Jurassic Park, John Hammond, needs to bring on these x berts to endorse this park. So he finds doctor Grant and Dr Sadler, these paleo. Is this a hotties only rule? Then it's like I need experts, but only hot experts, hot scientists only. Yeah, I mean that's true to the book in all of Michael Crichton, where he only allowed well at least in terms of you know, if we're getting into the podcast itself, like Michael Crichton only allowed hot women to be scientists in his books. Like I've read all of his books and it's like for him, he can't see outside of that. It's like, you can be a math genius, but you still have to be hot. Then he's unnoticed. I went through a weird Michael Crichton phase when I was a kid where I read a lot. I didn't read Jurassic Park, but I read a lot of Michael Crichton. Was a real Crichton head? Was your favorite? The one with all the numbers was the one? Uh, where is it? Drama string? No, I gotta look at it. It was not a good one, but that I was like really obsessed with a movie of his. Prissy, I'll file figure out what my what my little Creighton thing was. So he approaches these two dinosaur experts and it's like, comm endorse my park, and they're like, well, okay, because he promises to fund their dig. They just found a raptor skeleton. Anyway. Meanwhile, there's a there's a lawyer also, and he's like, I don't just don't know about this. I represent these investors and and I don't know. There's an accident and it's everything's I don't know, And then pray, oh, pray, oh yeah, we're just yeah, praise no there's I would just remember being like, oh, nano cool, and then next there's another really bad Michael Crich. I haven't read any of them, including Drastic Park. Yeah. I think I think he tapped out at some point. He's got a million billion dinoh dollars. Yeah, he doesn't need it. He's dead. Wait, he's dead. No, I didn't know he was dead. Well, I just felt that it was like all that in my guy. He died on election night when Obama was elected. Two do you think of that? Whatever you're about to say, I do think Lord taketh away. Well, I was just I was talking with someone yesterday about how I forget why it came up. Oh, I was. I was on a date and I was really struggling for topics, and I said that, Hey, the day I was born, Larry Bird retired, and my mom thought that his spirit of greatness went into me. So you not only have Larry Bird's spirit, but you also have Patrick Swayze. I have shared the same birthday. The angels have my back. But the funny thing is my mom would always say, you have Larry Bird's spirit of greatness. Larry Bird is not dead, he just retired that day so Larry birds walking around without his spirit because I had to have it, because I have it and that's why I'm so good at basketball. The end anyway, So I'm going to get through this recap as quickly as possible. The Dino experts, they come, they rot, they come, They arrive to Jurassic Park car along with dr Ian Malcolm, who's a Chaotitian? Is that Jeff Goldblum? Yes? Why is it? Why is every hot lady in l A have a picture with Jeff Goldblum touching? Because he plays with the Rockwell, he needs to cut it out and starting to look perverted. I needed to stop. Every man on Tinder, if you live in l A has a photo with Jeff Goldblum, those are the rules. He needs to make a new rule of I'm not going to touch the audience members anymore. A friend of the cast, Josh Fadum, brought this. I us like, why does everyone have a picture? Where do you go? Where do you get one? And I was like, wherever? I know where you go. There's a place in a time and you bring your Instagram and you and you get a million likes. It's a cheap code. Jeff Goldblum pervert done? Okay, yeah, campaign do you really live here if you don't have a weird perverted picture with Jeff Goldblum hunching over and touching you after playing jazz music? I don't know, you know what? I like Jeff Goldblum, So I am you would him to you? I would let him touch me. Consent is important. That is a big message we have here on the podcast, especially when it comes to Jeff Goldblum's jazz concert. I wouldn't consent to attend a Jeff Goldblum jazz concert, but that's fine. Yeah, yeah, he has to come to me, come to one of the comedy shows I do in a basement, right he should. He should be going to supporting more live ault comedy. Hey, Jeff Goldbluin was your problem? Why do you need the art? Come on out to the comedy scene in l A, Menia has time to sell tacos from a taco truck? Why not really does he? Yeah? Oh god, alright, Well more on that La. Sorry, we got a story to talk about. They arrive at Jurassic Park and they're like, holy fuck, they didn't even know dinosaurs were going to be there, and the dinosaur experts were like, whoa, I guess our jobs are obsolete. And then there's this guy named Dennis ned Ree who feels that he was not paid well enough by Jurassic Park creator John Hammond, and he decides to funk them over by selling the embryos of the dinosaurs to a competing company, I suppose. So he has to like do all this stuff where he shuts down different systems and in security things around the park, tons of grids. He shuts them all down so that he can steal these embryos and then he leaves with them in a shaving can product place, right, So he basically makes it so the whole park, all the security measures, all the electric fences and everything like that are shut down and totally off. So the dino experts and John Hammond's grandchildren Lex and Tim show up and they're like, we want to go on the ride too, So they go on this little Draassic Park tour, but all the systems shut down and the dinosaurs start to come out, and they're like, there's a goat. So t Rex shows up the artists, but only with your mouth only. Yeah, I'm gonna become a mouthfully Yeah. T Rex shows up, Delapasaurus shows up, The raptors get out of their cage and all help. Just like Ian Malcolm predicted, Hey do you guys want to take a picture of me? He's like, life finds a way, and then life does find a way. He was right, that's his that's Jeff Goldblum's I see dead people. M mmmmm yeah, shout da friend of the cast, Friend of the cast, Dailey Jewel, where are you? I'm kidding you want to answer? So hell breaks loose, A bunch of people die, including the lawyer guy and Muldoon, this British Safari man we'll call him, and then they all have to like, fuck, how do we and then they turn the systems back on. There's this great climactic scene where the raptor you're a bound to get them, and then t Rex swoops in and saves the day the end, and then he's like, Mr Hammond, I've decided not to endorse your park. So that's beautiful, Thank you, good good recap. That was a good one. I usually do a fucking terrible job. That was really good. I think it's because I've had most of a small bottle of wine. I think that we should encourage people to drink more alcohol and then they'll do a better job at whatever they're trying to do. Yeah, maybe not the best message to know. I wasn't there, I wasn't being now. I just feel like I should have brought you and drink. Yeah. Sorry, um, sometimes it feels good to be bad. Okay, so that's the story. But what does it mean? What doesn't mean? You're here? Okay? If you can't tell. I love this movie so much. It's probably one of my top five favorite movies of all time. I have seen it dozens of times. I love it, and it's it's just it's so good. It's I would say, a perfect movie. Yeah, it's so good, Jamie. You just saw it, and I thought I was thrilled you liked it. I did like it, liked it a lot. And I'm not I'm not a big blockbuster girl. I'm not a big movie person. I did watch the movie, the documentary about Hull Cogan and journalistic ethics twice, and that's usually what's a little more my speed. That one's not going to pass the Backel test. That's on me. I really enjoyed this movie. It was so much fun. I watched it two times. I did I did a kaylin. I watched it one time and then I said, you know what, I could I could stomach this again, which to me is like, wow, I Muso really liked that movie. I'm impressed. Yeah, I don't like movies that much. I know. Yeah, welcome to our movie podcast. I know, episode but fifty. There's it feels pretty breezy in comparison to like blockbusters now that are like two and a half hours, like Transformers and all that stuff. It's a quick one. Yeah, and it's also it's also in you know, still before the era before like blockbusters had to be filtered through a blue filter. The whole thing is fucking blue. Is three hours long. And there's they're like, but it's really about philosophy, and like this movie is is I mean, it has meant you can unpack a lot, but they're not they're not heaping it upon you. You can take it or leave it. Sure, fun movie, I mean directed by Steven Spielberg, very competent director, one of my favorites. Well, I hope he uses that very confident the fat podcast. Yeah, you're welcome for my incredible endorsement. Steven. Anyway, it's just such a terrific movie and it's kind of nice, like I was rewatching it just I mean, I kind of just wake up to it every day just in my head. But like that, it is a movie where it has a lot of set up and then once it let's go, then it's just kind of like going, and it doesn't necessary at least stop other than when Dr Sadler and Hammond eat ice cream, Like that's the only slow scene, like once the action starts. But I love that scene though, Yeah, you never had control, that's the illusion. I think that's would have been funny if you dropped his ice cream. S Um, that's isn't Like there's so much foreshadowing and like plant and payoff in this movie and it just shows so much restraint. We don't meet t Rex until an hour and three minutes into the movie. Miss you can talk to There's a bow um because I had been on the Jurassic Park raft ride multiple times before seeing this movie for the first time, and then I went back to make sure that this story had started as this is going to be a roller coaster eventually, and for sure it was because Crichton rest in Paradise apparently, which is really allegedly. I think it's a I think it's a kaufman esque prank and Krechton is still with us. But anyways, Crichton was writing the book, took a meeting with Spielberg talking about e Er apparently, and he was like, Hey, also, I like dinosaurs, and this is what men talk about at lunch. They're like, yeah, I like trains and dinosaurs and fucking ladies. And Steven Spielberg said, well, what about dinosaurs? And so he knew this was going to be a movie before he finished the book, and knew it was going to be a Spielberg movie. So he also knew it was going to be a roller coaster. Like knowing that and then watching the movie again, I was like, oh, this kind of informs the way a roller coaster would happen. You're not going to tote out the t rex right away? Yeah, that's right. You gotta you gotta metaphorically build it. Oh, this is another theme park ride movie. We're gonna get around to the Country Bears and I cannot wait. I'm sure that's a very woman. Everyone's gonna love it. All Right, let's talk about the portrayal of women in this pod in this movie, I don't know so, as was hinted at earlier missed t Rex, because all the dinosaurs are women. They're female. I like that. I like that all the dangerous killing machines are women. But then but then also they are being kept in captivity by mostly man man. So yeah, I don't know Steven your take. But then they break free? Sorry there free? Well, and then that that's actually one of my questions that I was curious to hear your thoughts on it, because it is that thing where it's like and that's the one thing I kind of liked about Drastic World that Chris Pratt's character was so like their female dinosaurs and he has this kind of like like insistent, like O C. D insistence that everyone referred to them as like she all that stuff. But like, I guess my thought is, allies, yeah, we're dis or allies, We're not going to miss gender these dinosaurs. And but yeah, I guess my question is does them all being female really impact the narrative in a way, and like how does it really affected or mean I was mostly saying it as a joke, but well, no, I mean that's just my curiosity about it, because it was really interesting when Hasbro released the Jurassic World toys, they called them all he and like there's a big outcry in the community, and so in Jurassic World they're all still Yeah. It's just one of those things where I feel like it maybe just plays the most into Dr. Sadler's line where, you know, women inherit the earth kind of thing, like the idea that maybe these dinosaurs are like taking back from, you know, the patriarchy and society by destroying it all, or I think stuff like that. Well, it does play a significant role in the story, and that they deliberately genetically engineer the dinosaurs to be all females so that they don't breed because they have to control they're breeding, right, But then life finds a way. But okay, here's and this is maybe a stupid question from someone who just saw Drastic Park for the first time. If Devil's Advocate they made all the dinosaurs men and there were no eggs to be stolen, wouldn't that have really fucked up the plot of the movie? Es the dinosaurs were just coming and then they were like, well, there goes that one a bucket, just like roaming around the park. Like dinoaches come in the slop bucket, all right, that's Jeff Goldblum's job, and the dinosaurs come into the bucket. Well, wouldn't they still need to be female to lay the eggs or how do they do that? I think the ones that we see like with like Beaty Wong, like in the beginning, I think those were like artificially inseminated, but then the ones later in the movie are realized, so like that would funk up that point in in the plot. Yeah, I'm just being critical of Crichton, you know, because that's why I came here to do. But now he's dead, and now I'm being disrespectful. I can't believe he's been dead for almost ten years. What did I think he was up to? No idea being more anti global warming stuff. Yeah, he's a climate change denier. He was. He's dead. Now he's one with the earth, which is fine according to him. I mean he still is releasing novels, which is the weirder part. What they still keep finding manuscripts of books, like they just released a new one this year. Like that's why I thought he wasn't dead. Because I was like, I've seen his name recently. Oh, but his ghost is just really same books now. Shout shout out to the movie Ghost. Shout out to the movie Ghost. Shout out to Crichton's Ghost, which is a movie that I will write starting the second Ist podcast records. I can't wait Creon's Ghost. More importantly than the all the dinosaurs being female, let's talk about the actual human women in the movie. Doctor Ellie Sadler a woman in stem She's a paleobotanist. Hell yeah. And then there's Lex who is a computer hacker and a computer whiz technopagan. Either way, I feel like that's what she grow up to be. What is a techno pagan? Like it wasn't that X Fox episode, but I almost imagine, like I was talking to something the other day, if there was, Like, if her character was around in Jurassic World, she'd probably be like hacking intother systems to try and shut down the new park. It's like desecrating the memory of her grandfather or something. Okay, I like it. I love hacking scenes, especially the further back you go, the crazier the hacking scenes get. The word main frame is in vote quota. I'm in the main frame. That's like on my bucket list of something to say, and to know that that is actually what I mean to say. I sometimes will just say it to myself when I like I'm at Duncan Donuts, I get into WiFi packed into the main room. Anyways, either way, she's a woman in STEM, I would say technology, she's so, we've got two women in STEM, and then then they the only two women and women and the women. I guess that's what I meant by my question with the dinosaurs being female. It's like there's that thing where it's like, would it pass the back to test if they were talking about the dinosaurs, like because it's like, doesn't count because they're not human. So like that part of that conversation if they are talking about dinosaurs, if it's two women talking about dinosaurs, yes, I would say it passes the Backtel test because they're not human. Man. And also we'll get to this later, but there's a scene where the two raptors are vocal with each other. They're communicating with their stretch, and I would say that us is the Bechdel test stretch. Well, well, wait, we don't know their name. Big all stretch. We don't know those those raptors names, so maybe doesn't pass. But it's called Runner and Yeller. So we have these two women, and I like these two women a lot, but they are surrounded by a whole slew of men because there's Dr Alan Grant, Dr Ian Malcolm, John Hammond, the Little Boy, Tim, Mr Arnold, Muldoon, Gennaro, Dennis Nedri, Beaty Wong, which which brings us to the age old Bechtel cast refrain, what if two or three of these characters were just named Cassandra? What would be different? Oh, I don't know, fucking nothing. Yeah, exactly, make make the lawyer be a woman. Have Mr Arnold. Although I would not trade Samuel L. Jackson in this role for the world, let's leave him um. I did for one website. I did a gender swap cast thing for this movie a couple of years ago, which I thought because Laura Dern was like an arthouse like Lynch Darling at this time, so I thought it'd be fun if like Ryan Gosling was playing that and then and then having Elizabeth Mossy Grant like I thought that would be like a good I like it, and having a cap Blanchet be John Hammond. I think she she'd rock the cap. Yeah, for sure, I like that a lot. We'll link that in the I'm interested in this, Yeah, I'll send you the link to the So the point is it's a couple I think strong, great female characters surrounded by men. And then there's all these scenes like the first scene you see where they're unloading one of the raptors into like the raptor paddock, and it's all men. And then there's another scene where genera the lawyer goes to talk to the dude who's I guess in an amber mine? He's looking for amber, and uh, those are all men in that scene. You see the scene where they're on the tour and it's all these Jurassic Park scientists all but one man. There's one lady with a top bun, everyone else as a man. It's me, it's you, you were in this movie. But the point is, it's just like crazy that we have to like look at these scenes and like really like examines and study to be like, wait, is that a woman? Wait that over there? And it's because they're just almost always populated by men, and it's annoying that it seems like this default to just being filled with men and they're being no or maybe one woman, I think, and I feel like with this story, it's possible to over analyze it or like give it more thought about how much thought was put into gender than Michael Crichton would ever. May he rest in peace. But like you know, it's like you can technically make the argument of Okay, we have this colony of all female dinosaurs, but they're being regulated and trying to be contained by men, but they're busting and did it, and like we can make this argument. I have a hard time believing that Michael Crichton or Steven Spielberg or really anyone involved in this project in a high level actually thought about the role of gender. That's hard. So it's like, well, you can analyze it that way if it makes you feel better, but I don't think that they actually intended it to. That's the beauty of art, though it doesn't matter what the artists intended. I don't want to art to give men more credit than they deserve, right either way. Okay, So there's like three specific sequences that I want to talk about, and then a few other scenes. Starting with the one that you already hinted at, where Malcolm is like, God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs, God creates man, Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs, and then Dr Sattler says, dinosaurs eat man, women inherent the earth. And then they both look at her and they're like, oh, shoot, I want to marry her. That's a good it's such a great But I would also sorry argue that this is harkening back to one of our favorite mixed we needs articles. I'm the girl and I kick here's my line where I say, you know or spice World girl powa Like it's like, okay, cool, we got that moment, thank you, and seen like, yeah, that could be if that was the only thing she does, or like the only impressive thing she contributes to the story or anything like that. No, I just meant like the line more than I mean the character. Obviously, Seller is a great character, but just like sometimes lines like that, I don't know, I feel manipulated by them where they're just like, hey, girls can't do things too, and I was like, yeah, I know, so have put more girls in your fucking movie. You showed like, you know, good point, But it would be much more. It would be more annoying to me if that was something she said, and then none of her actions backed that up, like she's like women power. And then so at least she goes on to do a whole slew of things, which is what I wanted to talk about next where it's later in the movie, but all the power they have to basically reboot all the systems and undo the damage that Dennis Nedri had done, who at this point in the story is dead. R I p he slipped on And just love that little the slide whistle or whatever. I love that scene that where he gets killed by the delaposaurs. Fuck, it's so good. But so there's a scene where John Hammond is like, well Doon bring back my grandchildren, and Nell He's like, I'm going with him. So it was just like cool to see her making a choice, taking action, going and doing something. A lot of movies would have just had her stay behind, not do anything. Nurse and Malcolm back to health with his leg that's all sucked up, would be like, hey, do you want to take a picture? Oh? I was thinking, um, it would be like The Big Guiled where they're like, oh, your leg is fucked up. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, yeah, I want to cut your leg off, and then fucky, No, it's Jeff goldbl And he just wants to take a perverted picture. He doesn't actually have sex. He just wants to look like he enticed or whatever. Enticing, right, He really does just like want to go home and feed his dogs. But that's that's what I find so interesting about Dr Selller, because I was trying to think of her like because there's certain scenes in the movie where she takes the role of kind of like the person to like knock the sense into some of the dudes, you know. But what I like about her character a lot and why, Like, I mean, she was my first crush growing up and all that stuff or whatever. But um, the one reason why I really like her as a character in these kind of movies is because she seems like she's the only person who's living in the moment during the movies. Everyone's kind of caught in their headspace of like, oh, I should have like made this park better, or like I hate kids and I need to learn how to like kids or whatever. She's like, all right, what do you need? What do we need to do, like, how can I? She's like the most like how you're saying, like she's the most proactive character. She's like, oh, I'm going to stay behind and learn more about the sick trisatops or whatever, like And I like that scene because it shows that whole scene where the encounter the sick triceratops and it's it's barfing. She pops the pimple on it and she's like, well, why is it sick? Are they eating this West Indian lilac? It's poisonous? You really like get to see her expertise, like she's she knows what she's talking about, she knows what she's doing. So it's just like a cool moment. So many movies, especially blockbusters, would have been like she kind of can do a thing sort of, but like we don't really get to see it, or if we do, it's for a second and then never again. Or she gives the sick tri Saratovs true loved kiss and it's better wakes up. Yeah, I feel better now. And that's technically a great queer moment in film because the transparentas would be a woman. Remember when Laura durned French that dinosaur really progressive moment. That's David Lynch's yeah, okay. So then after Dr Grant and the kids have gone off somewhere and they appear to be safe, and then there's the scene where Mr Arnold leaves to go turn the power back on, but he's taking a while because he's like she would be three minutes, and then it's more than that. More time has passed, so she's like, something's wrong, something happened. I have to go turn the power back on. And then and in that moment, that's when like Muldoon's like, I'll go with you. She was wanted to be like I'm going. I'm making the decision to go. I gotta do this, and he goes with her, and then immediately as soon as they get outside, he's like we're being hunted. Oh. But before that happens, John Hammond's like, this should be me that ghost because I'm a and you're a and she's like, look, I'm a Republican. I would love if that was their fun difference Laura during the twist is she's a Replican, I'm a Democrat and you're a Republican. No, And she's like, we can discuss sexism and survival situations when I get back, which again, sure, maybe that's another look at what I can, but I've never interpreted it that way. I was just like, you go, girl. Maybe it's because I'm simple, but that was the point. But you know, if I had seen this movie when I was a kid, I wouldn't feel that way, But seeing as I saw it last week, I do feel that way. Sure, so they go, they get hunted. She has to go on by herself, so she goes into the shed. The I was just when I was again like thinking about this movie for today as a kid, when after I saw this movie, anytime I swing from branches, I would always like pretend that was her because she heard like her six swing that she does, She's like foom in the lands in the water. I just thought that was the coolest. Yeah, yeah, that was a good good plant, good swing, stuck the landing. So she goes in the shed and then she does all the things she needs to do to turn the power back on. She's being again told what to do by a man, but like that's not her area of expertise exactly. Yeah, So she manages to do everything. All the systems come back online and then there's that great moment where she's like Mr Hamm and I think we're back in business. And then a raptor bursts out. And what I really love about this is that she has to save herself. The raptor explodes out into the room. She gets through the gate. Yeah, and in the human succeeds over the raptor because the human, I guess, is smarter. Although the raptors have shown intelligence their systematically to testing the fences for weaknesses anyway, systematically, she beats him with with Sam Jackson's arm. That would have been a great moment. I wish that had happened. She grabs that Mr Arnold and then she's like, oh sweet, there's a weapon, all right? Yeah? Good enough? Right, Because so she gets she saves herself. She closes the door, and then she like sort of like okay, and then Mr Arnold's arm falls on top of her. She thinks, hey, I'm just resting my arm here. I know that you almost died, but let's have a casual. How many years of therapy will it take to bounce back from that? So many? So many? The point is she saves herself. She doesn't have to have any man save her. It was a very exciting moment for me. The next thing I wanted to talk about was when the kids are in the kitchen or like the whatever that area is, Like the guest services hoasically craft services, they just turned the cameras and just yeah, they're like, oh hey, look right, and they're eating jello, you know as craft Services always has and Lex seize the raptors and takes them into the kitchen and the raptors can open doors. The smartass lady dinosaurs figured out how to open doors like a cat in an emergency want figure how to open a door, saving all the people in the apartment. Called an exciting day hit in Brighton. That would happen in Brighton. It would happen. Yeah, this is my English news bit. I just if like a dinosaur is like a cat. They just like under the door, like how cats can slide. The raptors just like on the you know, blows its nose on the thing and they just itself basically like I can't. So the two raptors come into the kitchen, Lex with her younger rather tim she's the one who's like pulling him around like here, follow me, like she's doing all the things to save them, the sweet trick with them, the ladle yeah, and the oven. Yeah, so alpha big sis And it could be yeah, it could be because she's like the older one, the bigger one. But sure, but like the and the writer could have made the choice to like make the older one a boy, to have him be the one in the book, Tim is the older Yeah. Yeah, yeah, cool. So I like in the movie that they're like, all right, let's have the girl be the one who's Spielberg one, Crichton still climate Ja and I are also dead. He loses. So yeah, it was really cool to see Lex being the one to be like, I'm in charge here and I'm going to save my little brother. Yeah. I like that part. Oh yeah, and she like closes the freezer to yeah, so she actually it's it's interesting that the only now that I'm thinking about this, technically, I think in the all the Jurassic Park movies, the only two people to kill dinosaurs are Lex freezing the raptor and then Malcolm's daughter Kelly kicking the with the gymnastics skills in the Lost World kicking the raptor off on the spike. So it's only been two little girls killing dinosaurs in these movies. Hell, I like that. Yeah, that's impressive. Yeah, but you're right. She like the raptor ends up in the freezer. I think because he was like changing Tim into she was just hard god chasing Tim into the freezer. And then Lex runs up and locks the raptor into the freezer. Hell yeah, yeah, I froze to death in there. Presumably we don't know whatever. So then the final scene is when they're in the control room at the end, Ellie like runs to the computer. She's like, I got to boot up the door locks because I guess she knows how to do that, which good for her. And then um, the raptor starts coming in through the door, because again, raptors know how to open doors, any door, any door. They have mastered all doors doors, the rotating doors. There aren't that, and that would be fun if there was, though, would its tail get her tail gets stuck in the door? I know we keep accidentally miss gendering. These depends on how advanced the door was, because if the door had good sensors and the door wouldn't close on and objecting, you know, in front of the doors. In defense of the doors, I'm sure that the raptor would have been fine, A good point, thank you. This is the door. Okay. So they're in the control room and the raptor starts to come in and Grant can't hold the door by himself, so Elie Satler has to help him. Meanwhile, Lexi's like, wait a minute, a unique system. I know this. She's the one to save the day for about two seconds and then the raptors coming through the glass. But it was just school like the choice could have been made where the little boy knows how to be a hacker, but Tim is like useless in that scene. He's just like he said, come ahead, well kids, are you go to school? Go a library card? You dumb ask He's a little kid. I mean that would that would have been I think maybe Spielberg was like thinking the endgame was like, oh, well, because there's the gun there, and then like Ellie and Grant are like trying to get the gun but hold the door, and then like Tim give us the gun, and then Tim just shoots the raptor and then we've got like our own traumatized like child like, well, I never understand why they don't say, like Tim, grab that gun, give it to an adult, help us. But he's just like, yeah, maybe Spielberg because yeah, I mean it's so like because he's just sitting there like patting his head, just like because he is a kid. Never reminded me of my little brother or like I would freeze a dinosaur from my brother. And also he was such a WinPY little kid. He was afraid of water till he was like seven. So I was like, oh, he's like my brother. He's probably afraid of the ocean. Yeah, I mean I related to I probably would be too afraid to do anything in that just paralyzed little boy child. But yeah, I wonder Spielberg maybe just didn't want to have the imagery of a kid picking up a gun. I wonder because that's definitely like a he's all about family and family dynamic responsible. I mean, he did remove the guns from it for him now, but he did. He did remove the guns from one version of ET, like from all the like digitally remove all the guns. WHOA, I didn't know that three points first period. I'm excited to see because this ending scene is is really cool and it's hard to imagine how it would have originally been where like Grant was going to kill the raptors with like a crane that was like sitting in the visitor center, like he was going to like grab a raptor and then like throw it at the bones, and like that's how it originally was us to end. But every I think they were so impressed by the c G I test of the t Rex and they like to the character so much, so like let's bring your back at the very end, And I don't know, it feels more. It would feel kind of gross if like our hero just like straight up murdered two dinosaurs. Like the whole movie. The whole movie is like trying to say that they're like animals and they're just natural creatures. And then it's like it's not their fault that they were genetically engineered and put in this century, that they don't belong by a bunch of horny dude. Not their fault. Here's what I'll say if Alfred. If I would put Alfred Will in this movie, Okay, here's whatever it is. Here's what I would do. I would keep the casting as is. What I do is I would pull like a deep Roy and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Tim Burton version where deep Roy plays all of the Olympus, like hundreds and hundreds of deep Roys. So this would take most of the women out of the movie. But I think it is the move to make alkim up all of the dinosaurs, hundreds of him. I've decided not to endorse this. He's a character actor. He could he could really really bring something special to each dinosaur role. I would love to see Alfred Billina play sick try Sara Tops. So somebody should photoshop that, for sure, because they just photoshop what like cats in there. The dinosam that comedy in there. So now just calls out for Bechdel cast fans to photoshop alf Molina in the same positions. Make Alfred Freddy and to sick try Sara Tops. A real missed opportunity. But you know it's an all right, hey, listen to this segue. It's about love, the love that you have for Alfred Molina, and how I like that there's no discernible love story in this movie. Yes, yeah, that's another thing that would have been so And I went into the movie just knowing who the cast was. I was like, oh, well, someone gonna I mean, they want to fuck her. It seems, well, yeah, they're horny diosaur guys. Right. But here's something I've been confused about. So Dr Grant tells Dr Malcolm that he and Ellie are together, and I always assume that that was just because Dr Grant has a crush, But then I was like, are they together? They kind of like at one point Ellie calls him honey and they like hug a lot, and I'm like, maybe they are low key dating. But the movie just makes not a big deal of it at all because like Grants such a sour puss that he's probably like he's not. He doesn't seem like a PDA type. And there was definitely more. There was definitely more, like because I have like all the trading cards and stuff for dressing. Um, there's like cut shots and cut moments where like they are more physical. But I think but I think maybe there's even one where they high five, which again adds more to their weird a sexual I mean, it's more on sand Neale's part, not online they love to high five my sex part. That's honestly how I initiate sex right five? What's up? We're doing this now? Gil? And I just had sex on the air. Big back toil moment. It ends with Grant like wanting the kids or being like hey, kids, and then he's like hugging him. They're in his arms on the helicopter. After a couple of days, like so the second someone ships their pants, he's like, actually, I'm out there. I know that they should they're too old to be shipping their pants. But at some point up well, he was electrocuted, so he probably right. He's having ball problems. The second side effect is any one of those kids takes the ship, he's going to be like, you know, I remember why I hate kids, but yeah, if any I was gonna just say if anything, because it's it's that thing where it's like Grant is almost the main character in that sense where he's the one who goes on this journey to like oh I understand kids now or something, you know. But it's like kind of nice that I think in a story in specific that Dr Satler isn't like you need to have kids or we need to get married or anything. She's just like, yeah, kids are cool. I guess maybe I don't know whatever. It's like almost like I don't know. It's like they kind of nicely. Don't like make that a big dramatic thing at all or anything. Right, Yeah, there were a lot of points in the movie where I'm like, oh, this could have been turned into a weird romantic kind of I mean all throwaway moments, but Blockbusters do it all the time, and it was kind of like a pleasant surprise. I was like, oh, no, they're just going to keep moving forward with the story. Right. There's that famous scene in Jurassic World where Bryce Tellis Howard is running away from the t Rex in high heels, and it's famous because it's so absurd, especially because t Rex runs at thirty two miles an hour and she could not outrun him, especially in heels. So I just want to say that I really like that Dr Sadler's costume in this movie was very reasonable. No one felt any need to put her in high heels for no reason. And another thing with a lot of Blockbusters is that the one adult woman is very hot, very sexual. We already talked about Michael Krenton making all the scientists hot, but she wasn't. She wasn't overly sexualized or even its sexualized at all. Is as far as I interpreted it like she's just wearing practical clothes that you would wear on a dinosaur. I mean, I think her khakis are the same length as Gennaro's, you know, like he's wearing some short shorts. Yeah. I also noticed in cut offs, very very sensible. Is he a never nude? I love his death scene he just runs into the bathroom, and then the t Rex is like, yeah, we're a fully artist with dinosaurs. Are going to rip this audio and use it in their movies and then we're gonna make a lot of money. Please donate to our papal account. We'll get into that in a second. Yeah, Hey, do you want to hear me bark like a dog? Pretty good? Really good, really good? Pay me before you use that clip. Beaty Wong Henry Henry Wu, I think it's his name. He says. All vertebrate embryos are inherently female anyway, They require an extra hormone given at the right developmental stage to make them male. Proving movie proves this fact that no one else knew or studied or anything right in Heads Unite that all embryos are female, which is why male cats have as many nipples as female cats. This has been cat facts with Caitlin. Okay, that is inherently pointland that women aren't gonna inherit They're going to reinherit the earth again in that way movies saying yes, Quen. Alright, let's talk about if this movie passes the BACTO test or not. Okay, I made a case for the Raptors, No stupid and run. There's a scene that happens off screen where women talk, but it does not pass the BACTO test, where Lex goes up to Grant and she's like, she thought I should ride with you because it would be good for you. But they were talking about man, so it does not pass. Here's the problem with this movie is that the two female characters are not even in the same room or seen for most of the movie. But there is the scene in the control room at the end whenever they run in and Lex says, we can call for help and Satler says, we got to reboot the system first. I think that's a pass that I did make a note of that, and that might be by the skin of its teeth, might be where it passes for me, that's what. But it is a barely barely pass and it's the only time where you basically see those two and it's a classic. I mean, it's the thing we've encountered, I would say, and at least ten movies we've talked about now where it's like the female it's the problem. Isn't the female characters that are written. It's just the fact that there are no female characters for them to interact with at length. Ever. Yeah, yeah, that was my question. It was like, it just seems like it feels like every time it's like they can't have two women together because that's oh, we've already hit our maximum or something like. It just seems like these movies are so afraid, are so afraid to like just put to that somehow. Yeah, Like, and I think that this era like is still a time where it's like, well, why would we put two women together in one seed? What purpose we filled our quota with two women characters total? We don't need more, right, right, and we're not forcing them to hook up all the time, which is like, you know good, but like you know so this I would say that that was a scene where it passed for me, but I was still like, ah, man, you're doing so well. But it's another Princess Leia kind of thing where it's like, well, one female character is great, and then we have, you know, a few women on the fringe, but other than that, you know, just like one really well written female character and only meant for her to talk to. That's why I like about your podcast so much, because it's like it's almost that idea of like, well, because I love the Transformers episode where you're like, well, this, it doesn't feel right to pass it because even though it gets in like logically, but in the spirit of like what the test is, it's like, does it really actually like in that sense of like this movie where like it has a lot of these like mic drop like kind of empowering moments. And I remember Steven Spielberg in behind the Scenes stuff saying that he made Lex the older one, made the woman you know, made Lex interested in computers, and made her the hacker because he was like, these are aspirational elements that he was adding, like in his words, that's that's what he was saying. That he made those choices to do that because he wanted to inspire little girls to get into technology and stuff. But it's like, but at the same time, like, oh, but it actually doesn't feature two women having a conversation with each other. But that's not about men. So it's like, it's just like I like that. You guys talk about that a lot because it's like you're welcome. Okay, I mean thank you, you're welcome. Now we both did it. Hey, let's write the movie on her nipple scale. I'm going to give it three and a half nipples. I think it might be a little high. No, I feel good about three and a half because Dr Sadler is a great character. She does a whole bunch of ship. She makes a lot of decisions that influenced the story. She is very proactive. She unfortunately doesn't have the same number of like memorable lines or like great monologues like Malcolm has. I do like that she says the whole like men get eaten and women inherit the earth. That's the line, right, So I like her, And I also liked that lex is, like you said, like she was. Decisions were made to make her active. She does things. She fucking boots up the door locks. Good for her. But because there are so few women when there could be many more. Again, we identified several characters that like why not make this a woman. It's just a sea of men with like tiny little sprinkles of a strong women and it um So that's why it gets a three and a half from me. And the nipples belonged to you know what, I'm pretty sure that Trisaara tops even though reptiles do not have nipples. That looked like an animal that would have nipples. So okay, just more revealing about you than anything else. You're just like, that looks like there's some milk in there. I didn't it though, I don't know, I get I mean, I would like to believe that there's I just had a disgusting thought because it's both very cheesy and hearkens back to an episode that by the time this comes out, well have been a long time ago. Spider Man two reference got Molina on the Rain, You know that line where where Aunt what's her name? Is like, I believe there's a hero at all of us When she said that zete milk, I believe there's some milk at all of us. That was the five year you were Aunt May with it. Anyways, I finished my mics aren't lemonade, and I'm really thinking at a higher level Stephen, what would you like to write the movie? I would give it three sweaty lawyer nipples out of five again for the reasons that this movie has. I mean, I think like comedian Rio Butcher, she summed up Drassic World in a really great way, which is like a nineties version of a feminist movie where it's like, let's give the mean female character ship and then like that's how you learn that she's empowered or whatever. And I feel like even this movie still suffers from a lot of that same thing. Um, but it is like there is those baddest moments, and I think again, like the through line is that at least Dr Sadler's character, she like stays true to herself and she doesn't like she's kind of on her own path that it's kind of like mysterious. She's kind of like she kind of holds the rest of the movie at arms length, which I kind of like she's kind of like amused by like what's going on and concerned, but she's never like and she's in the moment, and I kind of like that about her characters. My favorite seen is when she's crying and then she's like I need ice cream. She eats some ice cream because women be crying, women be eating ice cream. But like, honestly, sometimes they are. I've done it, for instance, me yesterday. Let me really, let me take you back a full twelve to sixteen hours anyways, see, and I'm sure you've cried and eating ice cream. Of course, it's not a gender thing. It's a human thing. Man crying ice cream just the other day. Not to brag, but I saw it. Yeah, I mean I've probably cried while eating ice cream while watching this movie. Wow, this is a movie. I do cried you, by the way. It's more of a human response exactly. It's not a gendered response. Everyone wants to cry an eat ice cream. These are things that all people want except for lactose and tolerant their mutants. You're fucking freaks. This is my new friend tier of people. I'm pre steampunks. You're okay, now, lactose intolerant people. What if I t're on my radar, I'm coming for you. What if I told you I was lactose intolerant, which I am. I knew that. Now I feel bad first because I didn't remember. In second, because I just declared war on you, and I can't take it back. I'll fight back. I'm a strong, independent woman. You're very strong, but you're calcium deficient because you're not drinking as much milk ast me. I'm getting We don't even we started. People should not be consuming dairy or any mammals after infancies. Some real lactose intolerant propaganda. I breastfit from my mom just this morning, and I feel great. Hey, what would you like to write the movie? Oh? Yeah, I'm gonna give it three nippies. I'll give two of the nippies. Well, I'll give one nippie a little Tim, because I can relate with being afraid and the youngest and being completely useless. So you gotta give one to Tim given, and then I'm going to give the other two to the sick dinosaur um because because it has nipples, it has it has nipples, and it's I just love that a sick dinosaur. You never think of a dinosaur is sick. So in that way, if I can change the way I think about dinosaurs, and specifically female dinosaurs, what great. Never thought of female dinosaurs as sick before I saw this movie, and then I realized I was so fucking wrong. That's okay, three but ed but for for for serious talk because like many movies we've discussed, the central female character is wonderful, but she's not given really any or barely anyone to talk to, and I sort of am inclined to discard, like, well, all the dinosaurs are female, right, but they're dinosaurs, so not to trigger any dinosaur listeners we have out there, but you're dinosaurs, So in that way, I'm going to give it a three perfect Stephen, thank you so much they're being here. No, I'm really, I'm really I'm really happy you guys asked me. I really love this podcast lot, so I'm happy to have been on it. Awesome. Where can people find you online? Do you always find me at Steven Ray Morris on Twitter and Instagram? And then my Drastic Park podcast is at Sea Jurassic right on Things and like, yeah, it's just people sharing stories of their childhood that only relates to Durassic parking dinosaurs, because that's the niche that I'm trying to fill. You work very important. You can follow us at Bacto Cast on Twitter, on deep, Instagram, on Facebook. Hey, come and see us live in New York in September for the cinder Block Comedy Festival date with the place September nine. Will post about it. Hell fucking yeah, I see you there, see you there. Also, if you wanna give us money to alleviate the financial burden that is being alive but mostly doing a podcast. To be fair listeners, none of us asked to be born, But if you want to help us with some of our production costs for the podcast, you can donate a few dollars on PayPal, which is an evil corporation, but what else is there? Rite as a check. For more information, watch the Whole Cogan Journalistic Ethics to documentary twice, but you can go to PayPal, dot me, slash backtol cast. We'd appreciate any donation you would care to give that'll do it. Women inherit their spitch