324 | Art of the Session: Tracking Behavior—The Skill You Can Always Use In Any Given Moment

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are continuing the Art of the Session series.

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And last episode,

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we talked through 11

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options

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on your

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toolkit.

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11 tools in your toolkit.

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And essentially what that does is that equips us with

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all of the options for how we're going to respond.

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And as we talked about at the very beginning of this series,

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this is designed to give you start to finish,

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A to Z.

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Everything that you need

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so that you know exactly how to handle

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the beginning of starting working with a child,

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taking them all the way through their work with you,

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and then wrapping up at the end.

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So we are now in the playroom

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and we are now looking at what are the responses that we are able to provide

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that are child-centered and adherent to the model

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while we're engaging in dialogue with kids while they play.

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So we are going to start with the basics,

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and we're gonna talk about tracking behavior today.

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Before we get there,

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I want to make you all aware

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there's some requirements though,

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so let me share with you the requirements first.

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If you are actively in private practice and or you want to

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be in private practice in the next 1 to 3 years,

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and you would like to know how to build and grow a thriving private practice,

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and you would like to be more confident in child-centered play therapy skills.

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On August 28th,

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Thursdays at 5 p.m. Eastern,

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I am starting another Six-Figure Play Therapist coaching group,

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and there are a couple spots left.

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So if you are interested in going into private practice,

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maybe you already are part time,

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maybe you are full time,

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but you want it to be more efficient

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and you want to be able to make more money and thrive serving your community.

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Then Six-Figure Play Therapist is something that you need to look into.

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So starting August 28th,

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Thursdays at 5 p.m. Eastern,

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make sure that will fit.

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And if that's the case,

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go to playtherapynow.com to schedule a discovery call with me.

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I'll be able to chat with you,

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find out what your goals are,

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make sure it's a good fit and get you plugged in if you decide to move forward.

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Alrighty,

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so

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let me

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talk through tracking behavior now.

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So let me go back a little bit beyond that though before I dive into the specifics.

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Tracking behavior is one of the three reflective responses.

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And at any given moment,

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you can do any of the reflective responses,

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at least one of them.

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And tracking behavior is the one tied to behavior.

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So the easiest way that you can think about the

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tracking behavior skill is to say what you see.

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In other words,

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you're going to discuss out loud

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what you observe the child doing.

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It really is that simple.

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Say what you see.

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And

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one of the things that becomes a hang up for a lot of people

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is the frequency of the responses.

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So let's unpack this for a second because I said you can

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do one of the three reflective responses at any given moment,

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but sometimes you can only do one.

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So let's say we're just talking about tracking behavior

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and in that scenario we know that the child is not saying anything.

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Therefore we cannot reflect content and the child is not emoting anything,

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so therefore we cannot reflect feelings.

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So that leaves us with tracking behavior as the option.

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That's how it's always going to be one of the three.

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Now there are times when you can do all three,

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you don't need to,

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but I'm just saying there are moments where the child says something,

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emotees something and does something all at the same time,

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and then you could use any of the three.

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But in a scenario where the child is

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not saying anything and not expressing an emotion,

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then we're down to tracking behavior.

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So in that scenario

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we are going to

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want to be pretty consistent in our acknowledgment of what the child is doing

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and what happens when I watch play session videos

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is sometimes there are 30,

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45,

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60 seconds or more

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where the therapist says nothing.

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And I think where we get caught up is,

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well,

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the child's not saying anything and I

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don't know what feeling they're experiencing,

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so I just kind of wait it out.

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Well,

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the danger in that is if we are not verbally active,

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if we are not involved

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in communication verbally with a child.

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The danger is they feel that they're being watched.

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And that is never the tone

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of a child-centered session.

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We are

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active participants in their play,

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whether we've been invited to participate or not.

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We're always verbally active,

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even if we're not physically active.

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And therefore we do not ever want to sit in silence

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because the concern is

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that the child is like,

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are you just sitting there staring at me while I play?

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The antidote to that is to be verbally engaged because as we're commenting on what

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the child is doing and what we're noticing and how we're observing the play,

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they don't feel watched,

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they feel like you're very much a part of it.

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So that's why we have to be careful to track behavior,

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even if that's the only thing we can do,

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and we want to strive for every 5 to 6 seconds

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to have a response.

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And

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I've actually,

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I've had a couple of play sessions in the last

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2 or 3 months that I've watched in my coaching groups

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where one of the participants is like,

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Brenna,

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I heard you say that and I was like,

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no way.

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I mean,

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sometimes I'll go 2 minutes without saying anything.

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There's no way I can get to 5 seconds.

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You can.

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You just have to become very proficient and comfortable

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with the three reflective responses,

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and tracking behavior is the one

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that is the default

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because a child is always doing something.

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A child may not be always talking and a

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child might not be always expressing an emotion,

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but they are always doing something.

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And I know some of you right now are going,

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that is not true.

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Sometimes a kid comes in and does nothing.

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That is still doing something.

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They're choosing to do nothing,

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which is something you can track.

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Sometimes kids come in and they just sit down and they stare at the wall.

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That is still a behavior you can track.

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Sometimes they go hide in the corner and they won't even let me see them.

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That's still a behavior you can track.

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So we have to get out of this notion that we get stuck without anything to say

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because we can always track behavior.

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So that should be an encouragement.

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It should make us go,

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oh,

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OK,

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well at least I have that.

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If I can't figure out what else to do,

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at least I can track behavior.

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So what are we going to

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kind of unpack here together?

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Well,

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you want a simple explanation of the action.

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In other words,

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you observe what the child does,

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and you give a simple explanation of what you noticed.

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The simplest framework for this is you.

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Then the verb

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And then a noun or a pronoun?

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So I'll make sense of what I mean by that.

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So just like with the other skills,

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they almost always start with you,

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you,

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you'll see the pattern.

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You

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and then

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whatever the child did as the action verb.

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So

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you colored that in.

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OK,

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there's your verb,

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there's your pronoun,

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that.

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And

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it's just that simple.

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It's very basic,

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an explanation of what you noticed,

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you,

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action verb,

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noun or pronoun.

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So,

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for example,

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child grabs the jump rope out of the cubby

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and

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looks at it,

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decides they want to do it,

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and they

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loop it under their feet 5 times.

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So you say

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you jumped 5 times in a row.

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OK,

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now you don't have to say 5 times in a row,

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you could just say you jumped.

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That is also a tracking of behavior,

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but similar to other skills,

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you can add that optional qualifier,

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you can add that little bit of extra at the end for clarification.

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It's not necessary,

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but sometimes helpful.

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Another scenario,

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child wants a game,

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it's on a higher cubby than the child can reach.

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They grabbed the stool

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from the desk.

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And walk over

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and

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stand on it

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to get the game.

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You stood on the chair to get that.

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Notice you,

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action verb.

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It's,

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by the way,

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unless you're tracking while they're doing it,

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it's going to be in past tense.

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So if the action has been completed,

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it's always going to be in past tense if they're actively doing it.

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So maybe the child hasn't gotten the game yet,

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you could say you're standing on the chair so you can reach.

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So,

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in the moment,

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you're going to be.

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Active verbs.

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And then in

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the past,

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it's going to be past verbs.

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So,

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you stood on the chair to get that down.

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Another scenario,

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child takes all of your

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Lincoln logs or blocks or

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building

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materials,

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and they stack them into some kind of configuration.

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You stacked those

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You are stacking those,

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either one.

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Another scenario,

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they pick up your bow and arrow.

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And they

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shoot either at a target

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or at the wall,

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or at

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miniatures on the shelves,

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whatever the scenario is.

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You shot that.

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Simplest tracking of behavior.

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With a little bit more explanation,

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you're shooting the arrows at the wall.

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And final example,

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child comes in and

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starts

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playing with Bobo.

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Bop bag for those of you that may not have the same term.

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You're punching Bobo

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00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:57,690
and kicking him.

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00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:02,789
Or you punched him and kicked him back to back.

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All right,

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now,

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related aside,

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00:10:06,890 --> 00:10:09,210
I know you all are used to me saying that you you email

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00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:12,479
me and you all say also related aside with a smiley face.

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00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:15,650
So I realized that's one of my idioms that I must say frequently,

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00:10:15,770 --> 00:10:17,520
even though I don't know it until you email me.

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00:10:17,799 --> 00:10:19,049
It's it's very interesting,

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00:10:19,090 --> 00:10:19,520
y'all,

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00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:22,929
what you find out about your speech patterns when you

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00:10:22,929 --> 00:10:25,619
put your speech patterns out on the airwaves and then

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Over and over and over again,

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00:10:27,549 --> 00:10:30,630
people give you your phrases back to you when they reach out to you and you're like,

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00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,179
do I say that that much?

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00:10:32,429 --> 00:10:33,030
Anyway,

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00:10:33,419 --> 00:10:35,429
Related aside is one of those that I get a lot,

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00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,429
so I must say it a lot.

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00:10:37,130 --> 00:10:38,039
There are worse things.

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00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:38,559
OK,

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00:10:38,789 --> 00:10:39,059
so,

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00:10:39,070 --> 00:10:40,179
a related aside,

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00:10:40,669 --> 00:10:42,789
you do not name objects

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00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,989
or what the child is using or picking up or

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00:10:45,989 --> 00:10:48,739
getting down or playing with until the child has.

304
00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:51,309
So I know I'm kind of on the tracking behavior scale,

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00:10:51,349 --> 00:10:52,679
but this is a bonus freebie.

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00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:55,219
You don't want to say.

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00:10:56,479 --> 00:10:57,159
You

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00:10:58,130 --> 00:10:59,669
stood on the chair to get

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00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:01,070
snakes and ladders.

310
00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:03,750
You don't want to say,

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00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:04,969
you

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00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:07,799
shot the bow and arrow to hit a bull's eye.

313
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:14,130
Those are specific details that the child has not given you the metaphor yet.

314
00:11:14,659 --> 00:11:17,659
So that's why earlier I said it's either going to be a noun or a pronoun.

315
00:11:18,599 --> 00:11:23,270
You want to make sure that you are not identifying what is being used

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00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,549
until the child has told you what it is,

317
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,349
so as much as possible

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00:11:27,719 --> 00:11:32,349
you want to just give very neutral benign types of commentary,

319
00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,010
so you got that

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00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,390
you picked it up.

321
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:37,909
You moved it.

322
00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,169
You got that down.

323
00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:42,530
And then if the child goes,

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00:11:42,739 --> 00:11:43,219
yeah,

325
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:44,049
for example,

326
00:11:44,179 --> 00:11:44,340
the,

327
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:45,609
the shooting of the bow and arrow.

328
00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:46,530
So you say,

329
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:47,140
oh,

330
00:11:47,179 --> 00:11:48,929
you shot that over there.

331
00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:49,539
And he goes,

332
00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:49,739
yeah,

333
00:11:49,859 --> 00:11:50,770
at the bull's eye.

334
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:51,460
Well,

335
00:11:51,539 --> 00:11:52,780
now you're gonna follow the metaphor.

336
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:54,510
You shot that at the bull's eye.

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00:11:54,739 --> 00:11:55,059
And now,

338
00:11:55,390 --> 00:11:55,789
interestingly,

339
00:11:55,859 --> 00:11:57,289
you have content to work with.

340
00:11:57,419 --> 00:11:58,140
And we're gonna get on,

341
00:11:58,179 --> 00:11:59,859
we're gonna get into reflecting content next week.

342
00:11:59,940 --> 00:12:01,250
So hold that thought.

343
00:12:01,419 --> 00:12:01,820
But

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00:12:02,099 --> 00:12:04,190
notice that if the child then says something to you,

345
00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:06,020
you're not stuck with only tracking behavior,

346
00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:08,010
now you can move into reflecting content as well.

347
00:12:08,469 --> 00:12:09,830
But be mindful,

348
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:16,030
we do not want to name or identify what it is until the child has given us the word.

349
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:16,539
Otherwise,

350
00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:20,419
we just want to remain really neutral and not particularly use anything that's

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00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:21,859
especially identifying.

352
00:12:22,489 --> 00:12:23,979
So there's your bonus freebie.

353
00:12:24,739 --> 00:12:28,840
So be mindful that as we go through all of these skills.

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00:12:29,659 --> 00:12:31,989
This is so that you always know

355
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,989
what you should be doing at any given second in the playroom.

356
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,880
And for those of you vets that either have coached with

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00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,840
me or you've listened to every episode of the podcast,

358
00:12:39,919 --> 00:12:40,190
thank you,

359
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:40,789
by the way,

360
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,059
all of you that have been with me on this journey for so long,

361
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,429
thank you to those of you that are new,

362
00:12:44,479 --> 00:12:45,669
we're very glad you're here.

363
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,429
But for those of you that have been around the block with me all these times.

364
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,549
I'm hopeful that you're still getting something out

365
00:12:51,549 --> 00:12:54,039
of this Art of the Session series because

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00:12:54,729 --> 00:12:54,909
we,

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00:12:54,969 --> 00:12:58,030
there is never a time when we don't go back to fundamentals.

368
00:12:58,289 --> 00:13:01,520
There's never a time that we don't need to be reminded of the basics.

369
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:07,599
Professional baseball players still run fundamental drills and still do basic

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00:13:08,049 --> 00:13:09,770
skill training every single day.

371
00:13:11,039 --> 00:13:14,929
That's part of their standard and they are at the highest level of athleticism.

372
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:15,650
Why?

373
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,190
Because you still need the basics,

374
00:13:18,359 --> 00:13:20,070
no matter how advanced you get.

375
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:22,640
You have to be reminded and practice.

376
00:13:23,390 --> 00:13:26,849
The foundational components of whatever it is that you're trying to master.

377
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,210
So yes,

378
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:29,909
tracking behavior is a simple skill.

379
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:33,750
Many of you that have been doing this for a long time can do this in your sleep,

380
00:13:34,419 --> 00:13:37,549
but it is important to just be reminded of

381
00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:39,919
all of the foundational components here.

382
00:13:40,330 --> 00:13:42,570
Tracking behavior is your go to.

383
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:43,890
Unequivocally,

384
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:45,890
if you don't know what you should be doing

385
00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:47,419
and you have no other options,

386
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:49,039
if you get in the playroom and you're like,

387
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:50,940
My mind is completely blank.

388
00:13:51,020 --> 00:13:54,530
I have absolutely no clue how I'm supposed to respond at any given moment.

389
00:13:54,780 --> 00:13:55,450
Track behavior.

390
00:13:56,619 --> 00:13:58,119
That is your default.

391
00:13:58,419 --> 00:13:59,890
You can't go wrong with that.

392
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:03,409
And as we continue in these next couple weeks we'll cover

393
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:05,169
the other two reflective responses which

394
00:14:05,169 --> 00:14:07,760
are reflecting feelings and reflecting content

395
00:14:08,289 --> 00:14:09,969
and then we're gonna move into some of the

396
00:14:09,969 --> 00:14:13,330
other skills and go through all of those 11 options

397
00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:15,489
of what we can be doing in sessions.

398
00:14:15,570 --> 00:14:18,750
So hopefully this is giving you a blueprint if you will.

399
00:14:19,390 --> 00:14:20,169
And

400
00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:22,780
it will seem much more manageable

401
00:14:23,099 --> 00:14:26,429
rather than overwhelming because I know many of you have reached out and said,

402
00:14:26,619 --> 00:14:27,489
I'm all in on this,

403
00:14:27,539 --> 00:14:29,159
but I just feel so overwhelmed.

404
00:14:29,539 --> 00:14:32,390
My hope is that this doesn't feel as overwhelming as we go through this.

405
00:14:32,419 --> 00:14:34,140
So you know how much I love y'all,

406
00:14:34,229 --> 00:14:35,960
reach out if you would like to communicate.

407
00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:36,859
I would love to hear from you,

408
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:38,650
brenna@thekidcounselor.com.

409
00:14:38,809 --> 00:14:39,590
We'll talk again soon.

410
00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:40,020
Bye.

411
00:14:41,070 --> 00:14:43,830
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

412
00:14:43,989 --> 00:14:44,940
Brenna Hicks.

413
00:14:45,109 --> 00:14:47,099
For more episodes and resources,

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00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:51,940
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.