We Believe in You!

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome to Becheler Happy Hours Golden Hour. We are back and thank you again for joining us.

00:00:13
Speaker 2: If you haven't listened to our episode from Wednesday yet, you really need to check it out. We have the wonderful Kelsey Anderson on who is a Joey's fiance and is she not the most amazing person?

00:00:29
Speaker 1: Way mature beyond her years, I mean, and beautiful in the hair? How about her hair?

00:00:35
Speaker 2: Okay, I can't stop talking about her hair, But I mean, wouldn't you love to have the life that they're having. They're talking about moving to New York. They've been in Hawaii and Portugal, and I mean they are living their best life, truly, absolutely, and I just hope that they continue to do so.

00:00:55
Speaker 1: They're all over the place, but don't they?

00:00:57
Speaker 2: I mean, she just seems so happy to me. Did you love the part about teaching Joey about skincare?

00:01:05
Speaker 1: I know, and he's very interested because I saw them on Instagram with the iPads and so on. But wait, how about she's the baby and the first one to be engaged.

00:01:13
Speaker 2: Can you believe?

00:01:14
Speaker 1: It's so cute?

00:01:15
Speaker 2: And then did you hear she wants to have she wants to be an Auntie and I did not know that she wants to adopt children. I cannot.

00:01:23
Speaker 1: Did you said adopt at least one and then have one?

00:01:26
Speaker 2: Why I think she should adopt one or two and have two or three of her own.

00:01:31
Speaker 1: Oh? Wait, two is good, Joey, two is good. I'm with you.

00:01:34
Speaker 2: Remember man to man to his own defense.

00:01:37
Speaker 1: And today we do have some great band questions. I can't wait to get into these, and don't forget. If you have a question for Kathy and I send them in go to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour and we'll talk about them.

00:01:53
Speaker 2: We certainly will. We have our opinions. But before we do that, let's get started with today's question of the day. Are you ready, Susan?

00:02:00
Speaker 1: I sure, am all right.

00:02:03
Speaker 2: Everyone always says when you know you know, what does that feel like?

00:02:10
Speaker 1: Oh, it's a good feeling. When you know you know, I've think of a positive thing, right, or when you know you know it's a red flag and run. It could be quite the opposite.

00:02:23
Speaker 2: But I like, what if you know, but your partner doesn't you know the other person doesn't know.

00:02:29
Speaker 1: Oh that will suck.

00:02:31
Speaker 2: I know. I don't know how many times have you known like I knew with my husband. Do you know this is true story? When I met my husband, I was at a fraternity party. I had just turned eighteen. The drinking age was eighteen back then, and he was a college in New York State. And I went to this fraternity party with my roommate and everyone was drinking with red cups. And you just saw the sea of guys in a fratnity with red with the red silk cups. And I looked at this guy across the room and I said to my roommate, I'm going to marry that guy. I just had. I just had this connection.

00:03:10
Speaker 1: I remember that story.

00:03:12
Speaker 2: Yes I did, so, I knew.

00:03:14
Speaker 1: So when you know, you know people. But hopefully you both know that's exactly all right. You ready, let's get into it, Hi, Kathy and Susan. I love your podcast. I was married for twenty five years. My husband and I did not see eye the eye financially. It came to a head when he retired early without us having good financial footing. We opened a business which left us in a six figure debt, and then he moved out. Oh God, to top it off, our divorce was horrible. He sued me for alimony. I came through all of that, God, bless you. I met a man who treats me with so much love, devotion and respect. I am not sure why, but I feel really guilty. My ex has always struggled financially, and my role in the marriage was fix her. Oh, I know that feeling. I feel like I'm not able to move on freely unless I know my ex is okay. I don't know how to let this feeling go. Wow, I can't even know what I don't part it woman she is.

00:04:26
Speaker 2: There's so many questions I have. I mean, why it came to her head when you retired early without them having good financial footing, and then he suthes her for alimony.

00:04:37
Speaker 1: Because she made more money obviously, I mean, she's the bread winner now. But you found love. He's going to survive on his own. He already went through that. You can't fix.

00:04:49
Speaker 2: Him, that's the answer, Susan. You can't. You can only fix yourself. You can't fix anyone else.

00:04:58
Speaker 1: And gone, bless you. You found somebody that loves you.

00:05:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's you know. I don't want to sound harsh, but literally, you've come through six figure debt and he moved out. You've you've you've supported him as much as you could. It's now time for you have a little happiness. If he can't figure it out, that's not your problem. But I mean I think she it's.

00:05:25
Speaker 1: When she says, unless I know my ex is okay, she can't financially, what are you going to support him?

00:05:32
Speaker 2: I'm saying you to know he's okay if he's put them in debt and any he you know, she says, they don't see I financially. Obviously, this is not a new problem. I mean, how is exactly how is she going to make sure he's okay?

00:05:46
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I wish you luck, honey, and be with the guy that loves you right now.

00:05:50
Speaker 2: You did lucky, right, How lucky she'd have found a guy that loves her. Don focus on that, Focus on the new love that you've found and let the rest take care of itself because you can't fix anybody else.

00:06:01
Speaker 1: And let the guilt go.

00:06:04
Speaker 2: Guilt is just a wasteful emotion, we wish. Okay, let me go to the next question. This is from anonymous. Okay, Hello, beautiful ladies, I need some wise advice and I couldn't think of anybody better to ask. Since my grandma has recently passed, she would have known exactly what to say on this topic. My boyfriend and I are twenty nine years old and have been together for almost five years. We are talking about taking the next step and getting engaged in the next year or so. Our relationship is honestly perfect, and I think he's the love of my life. We've lived together for three years and have the cutest fur baby together. I knew he was going to be my future husband from the second I laid eyes on him. Sounds like make of course, there was a catch. We've both been dealing with some medical issues that are making our sex nonexistent. We've tried almost everything, including working with our doctors, to resolve it, over the last two years, but it seems to only be getting worse. I want to marry this guy, and I do feel ready for that next step, But am I investing into a sexless marriage. Aren't they supposed to be our fun years. We're both attractive, spontaneous, fun loving people, so it's frustrating to only be having sex once every two months. I struggle with mixed feelings of being shallow and wanting to have a high sex drive partner. We are very affectionate, just missing the sex. We are big communicators and understand that both of us are feeling frustrated. I will take any and all advice. I love you ladies and look forward to your podcast every week. Well, thank you, Anonymous.

00:07:48
Speaker 1: Let me get this right. They were both struggling, right, and then she says she has a big sex drive. Are they just one struggling he he's struggling.

00:07:59
Speaker 2: I don't know. It is a bit confusing. She says that they've both been dealing with medical issues that are making their sex drive non existent. So to that end, you know, I could make a joke here that I've never known, but let's just move ahead. There are doctors that can help you with that. If neither one of you are interested in sex. There are doctors that you can go to.

00:08:28
Speaker 1: The go to doctors, they're saying, including working with our doctor.

00:08:31
Speaker 2: I mean a sex therapist. I'm a sex therapist.

00:08:34
Speaker 1: Whether if it's him that lost the desire or is it that he says?

00:08:42
Speaker 2: She says, they're both feeling frustrated. It sounds to me like they're both having the issue. But it's interesting to me that she said their relationship is honestly perfect. That you know, no relationship is perfect.

00:08:56
Speaker 1: Well, if she says it's perfect, it's perfect for her. So stay with the perfect and hopefully these medical issues can be resolved in the future and then you could go back to having great sex. I want to know, do you feel like if there was somebody else you would have great sex?

00:09:13
Speaker 2: Is it just yeah, I'm a little confused. Is medical issues?

00:09:16
Speaker 1: We need to know more, We need.

00:09:18
Speaker 2: To know more, you know. But here's here's here's one thing that I think you and I can both agree. They're young and if she's interested in sex, they better figure it out because that's something that could drive a wedge in their relationship.

00:09:33
Speaker 1: I very well could. I agree, and we wish you luck. But if you want to tell us a little more, maybe we can help you figure this out. But we wish you the best.

00:09:41
Speaker 2: Good luck.

00:09:52
Speaker 1: Okay, this one's from Katie. Hi, Susan and Kathy. I loved watching you both on The Golden Bachelor, and I'm so happy I get more of you on this podcast. Thanks. My question is this. I am thirty three with two little boys, a five year old and a twenty month old I've been blessed with an amazing job where I get to work from home and be a full time mom and a full time marketing director. The problem is, I never feel like I can be one hundred percent a good mom or one hundred percent a good employee. Recently, a great job opportunity popped up where I would be a teacher. I'd lose my flexibility I have now, but I get to separate work from home and have summers off. I think I want to take the job, but I'm being held down with guilt at losing time with my boys. Do you have any advice? Yes, I did, so don't. Well, you need to do you You're going to be home in the summer with them, and that's a plus.

00:11:00
Speaker 2: Think that it's one of the biggest fallacies out there that anyone can be one hundred percent great mom and one hundred percent good employee. I think that women really have it tough. You know. Historically we've been asked to do it all right, and more and more, two family incomes are required, and so women. I mean my daughter, we talk about this all the time. She has a high pressure job and her daughter now is in daycare. You can't do it all, Katie. You can't be one hundred percent great mom, one hundred percent great employee. And oh, by the way, you didn't mention this, but you need to be a good wife and partner.

00:11:48
Speaker 1: And I don't know. Is she happily married. Maybe she's a single mom. I don't know.

00:11:51
Speaker 2: Does it say that, Oh you're right, it doesn't say that, so so maybe she is single. But the point is you can't do it all, and we as women are expected to sometimes to do it all. You got to cut yourself some slack here, Katie.

00:12:04
Speaker 1: And I want to know how you did full time mom, full time job at the same time that that has to be difficult.

00:12:12
Speaker 2: I don't know. My daughter has worked from home, and I don't know. You've got two kids crawling on you. I know. I mean, I'm guessing. I'm guessing one hundred percent good employee. Maybe is in her mind only, but I'm with you, Susan, Katie, take the teaching job. I taught. I loved having summers off.

00:12:30
Speaker 1: And you'll like getting out of the house. Yeah, and you're going but fine, going to miss you in the beginning. It's going to be a struggle, but just know you'll get to spend three long months in the summer with them. I think that's and you.

00:12:42
Speaker 2: Know what, when you come home from work, it's better to have I think, you know, a couple of hours of really good quality time than you know eight hours where you're trying to juggle work and family and home. So that can take the great job. Take the great job, You'll be glad. Okay, Hi, Susan and Cathy. I really enjoy listening to your podcast. I work in healthcare and one of my patients brought to my attention a situation she is currently in. For some reason, it made me think of you both and was wondering what your advice would be. She is sixty one years old. She is a caregiver for a man who is eighty four years old. She lives with him, and both of them are single. They both have kids from their previous marriages. She loves her job and spending time with him. She told me at her appointment last week that her client has asked her to marry him. He does not have any ailments dementia included. He wants to leave his house to her and his money. Apparently, he doesn't have a good relationship with his kids. She was shocked, unsure if this is morally wrong. She admits he has treated her the nicest any man has ever. He has promised her it does have to be sexual either, just wants her to hold his hand while they watch TV. She has no idea what to do. I am dying to know what you both think. Love you both? Well, wow, that is a lot. What I think is.

00:14:17
Speaker 1: Okay, she's a caregiver, so obviously they're friends now because she's there all the time. I mean, do you have anything in your life other than this man?

00:14:29
Speaker 2: You know?

00:14:29
Speaker 1: What about her personal life?

00:14:31
Speaker 2: She said? They both have kids from their previous marriages.

00:14:34
Speaker 1: They both have children, right, Okay, so she's not married and she's spending every minute with him, right, you know, I think, I mean, do you like him? Do you love him? Because I mean, yeah, life.

00:14:47
Speaker 2: Sounds very transactional to me. This sounds like, you know, I don't think this person would be asking the question if the guy had no money, it would be no, I've got my job. I'm taking care of him. But apparently, and I don't mean to again, I don't mean to sound harsh, but she says, is it morally wrong? I don't think morals come into it. It's it's maybe ethically there's a question of is it right to marry someone because you're going to gain financial Uh, you have financial gain from it.

00:15:18
Speaker 1: But well, you know people, the kids are going to say that that, yeah, this kid, but you know what, if he's got ironclad will, good luck.

00:15:25
Speaker 2: I mean, I think that's really harsh.

00:15:28
Speaker 1: I think she has ask herself how she feels about him?

00:15:33
Speaker 2: Right, well, did you hear in this that she loves him anywhere? I didn't hear it.

00:15:37
Speaker 1: No. I think he cares about her and he wants he cares.

00:15:40
Speaker 2: About her, and he wants to leave her the money.

00:15:42
Speaker 1: But you know what she's got.

00:15:43
Speaker 2: She doesn't have to marry him to do that. He can he can leave her money in his will. I think there's more to it. I think he wants that. I think he wants, he wants, he will, he wants someone that twenty four hours a day.

00:15:58
Speaker 1: But you got to ask your self, babe, how do you feel do you want to be with this man until.

00:16:05
Speaker 2: Twenty four hours a day?

00:16:06
Speaker 1: Yes, because you will be sorrying.

00:16:08
Speaker 2: For him twenty four hours a day.

00:16:09
Speaker 1: And don just stop worrying about the kids and people's opinions. It's it's about you what you want.

00:16:16
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I don't Susan, if will you come and take care of me?

00:16:20
Speaker 1: If I believe are you going to leave me all your money?

00:16:24
Speaker 2: What money?

00:16:26
Speaker 1: Okay? The next one's from Chloe and she says, Hi, Kathy and Susan, my husband really wants to have a second child. But the more time goes on, the more I feel like I don't What are your thoughts on how to navigate this. I know you're going to say communicate, Oh, they know us, Gott, but the problem is that we do talk about it. Ultimately, he says it's my decision, but I know he really really wants it. What would you do.

00:16:56
Speaker 2: Again? On these questions, we don't have enough information. I want to know why she doesn't want a second child. I mean, to me, that's important. If it's because her career, you know, is taken off and she doesn't want to go back to diapers or whatever, you know, if that's the issue, then then they can talk about what are the ways they could get help taking care of the baby. But if it's you know, I mean.

00:17:24
Speaker 1: It's a whole new ball game when you have more than one, it really is now you could talk about having an only child and what that means and think about that you don't want.

00:17:35
Speaker 2: Would you have wanted to? I would say to have another one, because I mean I had three children, Chloe, but I would not want my child to have all the responsibility of being an only child. And many of my friends who have had only children their kids are you know, they're older now, they have said they wish they had a sibling to share the responsibilities with.

00:17:59
Speaker 1: I just at one child. My husband's career. He was traveling everywhere in baseball, and I got pregnant again with twins, and I was in shock. I love them to death today, but it was hard. It was hard when you feel like that's all you want. It's a tough decision. But you and your husband absolutely should communicate.

00:18:22
Speaker 2: Right Did you and your husband talk about it?

00:18:24
Speaker 1: No, it was an accident.

00:18:26
Speaker 2: Oh so you really only wanted one child? Wow?

00:18:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, because of our lifestyle on how we moved around, and it was just going to be too hard and it was difficult. I don't regret my boys. I love my boys, but yeah, I don't know.

00:18:41
Speaker 2: I don't think it's fair. Do you think it's fair for Chloe's husband to say it's ultimately her decision. I just don't think that's fair either. That's not fair.

00:18:53
Speaker 1: Well, he doesn't want to be the one that she blames if she has a second child and says, see, see you made me do this, that kind of thing.

00:19:01
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well you know what if, Chloe, if you decide to have a second child, and you make that decision, then you can never go back and say you made me do this, right, I don't know. I love kids, so I would say, Chloe, have a second one. Their blessings, they're fun, they're you know, don't There's always going to be more month than money, Chloe, So don't worry about that.

00:19:23
Speaker 1: We wish you a lot of luck and thank you to everyone who wrote in.

00:19:27
Speaker 2: Oh wait, Susan, we have time for one more?

00:19:30
Speaker 1: Whoa okay, so.

00:19:32
Speaker 2: Hold the phone. Roberto, who's twenty nine from Michigan High Golden Hour. I am writing in about my future father in law. My fiance and I have been together for five years and we're very much in love and looking forward to getting married. I am struggling with my future father in law though, because he is having a very hard time sharing his little girl with me. I am nothing but kind and respectful around their family, but he always finds a reason to pick on every little thing I do. He brings it up with his daughter, but never me, which puts us in a weird position. He feels like he raised the perfect woman and he's single now and I don't think he wants to share her with anyone, not just me. One time, he didn't speak to me for months and didn't tell me or his daughter. Why any idea on how to try to mend our relationship before the wedding. I want to feel better about all this on the wedding day and to feel like one family. I'm not taking this little girl from him. We all just love her.

00:20:37
Speaker 1: Oh poor guy, Oh my god. So does she know about this?

00:20:43
Speaker 2: He says? He says she didn't. He didn't talk to his fancy or him for months and they don't know why. I gotta say I had a similar relations a similar issue. My my husband was the oldest of three kids, and he his mom's favorite, and they did not like me coming along, and it was tough. It was tough in our marriage.

00:21:10
Speaker 1: What did you do.

00:21:13
Speaker 2: You know? I have to say I probably didn't handle it the best way. My husband was very respectful to his parents, and he loved his parents very much. But I remember him saying to them one day, saying to his mother, Mom, we've been married, I can't remember you thirty years. I love Kathy. Why can't you accept her? And she just looked at him and said, well, I do, But I mean and so I guess my answer is to you, Roberto, you may not be able to change your future father in law. He may just hold on to that. Hopefully, once you're married and he sees how you cherish his daughter, he will warm up to you. But like I repeatedly say, you can only change yourself.

00:22:02
Speaker 1: I would honestly have a talk with her and maybe they could approach the father together. You know what I mean, speak your piece. I mean, she it sounds like she doesn't really know what's going on as much as he feels. And I don't blame you for feeling weird about it. I get it. You want to feel welcome, you want to feel a part of the family.

00:22:26
Speaker 2: You know, everybody talks about joining families. I mean, did you get along great with your in laws? I'm sure you did. Yeah, it's hard not everyone does. I mean, I love daughter in law.

00:22:39
Speaker 1: My daughter in laws are just precious. I have no issues.

00:22:42
Speaker 2: I know that's weird. You and I share that in common, don't we both love our in laws. Well, I wish you all the best, Roberto. I hope your wedding is the day that you want it to be, and that your marriage is the marriage you wanted to be.

00:22:54
Speaker 1: I know, or Daddy might lose this little girl. You know, there's always that too.

00:22:58
Speaker 2: Oh. Yes, make them pay too.

00:23:01
Speaker 1: I know you don't, but he needs to treat him with some respect. I mean, that's a shame that could cause problems.

00:23:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we wish thank you to everyone who wrote in. We're wishing you guys the best, and if you want to send us a question, head to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit yours. Now. We love hearing from you, so keep those questions coming.

00:23:32
Speaker 1: All right. Before we wrap up of the day, though, should we play a game of our moral quandary?

00:23:38
Speaker 2: What do you think?

00:23:39
Speaker 1: Kathy? Oh?

00:23:40
Speaker 2: I love this, I love it? All right, all right, let's do it. We'll switch off reading the quandary and we'll give our thoughts on what we would do. Okay, Susan you want to go ahead and start.

00:23:49
Speaker 1: Okay, here we go. You've been dating someone for a few months and things are going well. You discover that your partner had a criminal record from ten years ago. They've since turned their life around completely and all crimes were non violent. Do you confront them about it and does it change how you feel about continuing the relationship? Well, hell yeah, you confront them. You want to know what it was. First of all, how did you find that out? I mean communicate?

00:24:24
Speaker 2: Well, wait a minute, I mean, Susan, we're talking one DUI hear all the crimes? How many damn crimes were there?

00:24:35
Speaker 1: The partner had a criminal record from ten years ago?

00:24:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think I would bring it up and ask It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. It was ten years ago.

00:24:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, and people do change. And like they said, it was nonviolent, so it could have been something stupid like a do ui. You're right?

00:24:51
Speaker 2: I mean, yes, be really serious, but yeah, I mean I would definitely got to confront him.

00:24:56
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, All right.

00:24:58
Speaker 2: Here's the next one. All right, you were ghosted by someone you were dating for several months After a year, they come back and apologize profusely, wanting to rekindle the relationship. Do you give them another chance? You're single and looking everything was great until they ghosted you. Their excuse is that they were going through a tough time, but they don't elaborate further than that.

00:25:23
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry, darling. No, no, no, new.

00:25:29
Speaker 2: No, Wait a minute.

00:25:30
Speaker 1: You wouldn't No, Oh, I would Why they don't elaborate they were going through a tough time. Well, you know what, call me and tell me you're going through a tough time before you ghost me.

00:25:44
Speaker 2: Okay, wait a minute. By definition, if they ghost you, they're not going to reach out and call you. But here's the thing, they don't elaborate further. Guess what they're going to do before I date them again. They're going to elaborate further. Yes, So I would give the guy a chance. I would give him a chance. I wouldn't say, Okay, you know, all's forgiven, let's start dating again. I would give him a chance and ask him to tell me what happened and why he goes. Didn't you? I think you would.

00:26:13
Speaker 1: I would want to know why. Yes, but he didn't once he may do it again. I don't know. No, I don't feel good about that one. I talked to him and hear his story and wish him luck. Yeah, I'm not feeling that one. Okay, you're a teenager has been acting secretive and spending a lot of time on their phone. Do you go through their messages and social media accounts to ensure they are safe? So freaking lutely.

00:26:46
Speaker 2: So, I love you, Susan. You know what I say. I'm paying for the phone. Yes, I'm looking at it anytime I want, and you don't like it. I'm the parent. I think that's one of the issues today. Parents are sometimes afraid to parent. You're not your child's friend, you're the.

00:27:07
Speaker 1: Parent, and god forbid, they're getting themselves in some kind of trouble. I mean, you have to.

00:27:13
Speaker 2: Be there, right, I think that. I think you're absolutely right, and I think the fact even if they weren't I'm being honest, even if they weren't acting secretive. My deal, I mean my kids when they were teenagers, literally they didn't have cell phones because they weren't there until my youngest, you know, but they had beepers and my deal was my oldest one. I had a beeper what's that called? You know, like you yeah, a pager and if he didn't call me right back from a landline, which because that's what we had back then, he was in deep trouble. I don't care, like that's that's the deal. So I think parents, I know I'm probably gonna catch some flat for this, but do you agree with me, susan that you should always be able to go through your child's phone at any time?

00:28:00
Speaker 1: And they're definitely not going to like it, but you got to keep an eye on them. They're teen agers. They make mistakes and their brains are not fully formed, and you're there to guide and help. They're gonna hate you for it. Trust and believe me. And my daughter just went through it. I'm like whoa. And she's telling me the things that her daughter was saying.

00:28:24
Speaker 2: I was like owls Okay. I got to ask you what age? I mean, we have grandkids? What age would you get a child phone?

00:28:31
Speaker 1: Oh? Today? In today's world?

00:28:34
Speaker 2: If you had kids today, how old would they be if you gave a phone? Ten?

00:28:40
Speaker 1: Twelve? Yeah?

00:28:41
Speaker 2: So give me a grade? What grade?

00:28:46
Speaker 1: Six? Middle school?

00:28:48
Speaker 2: Yeah? See, I'm again people aren't gonna like this. I don't think children need phones in middle school. If I were the educationals are they would there would be no phones at all in schools.

00:29:03
Speaker 1: High school. There shouldn't be phones in schools. There shouldn't, but they should have one in their back. Why not to take them to class of course, to call home, to call for the rive people. There's two working parents.

00:29:14
Speaker 2: How did you and I? How did you and I make it without cell phones?

00:29:17
Speaker 1: Katy? Times have changed?

00:29:19
Speaker 2: Okay, I just think I think young kids phones are trouble and there's just too much on the internet. I think it's asking too much. But I'm sure people aren'ting to agree on this. But that's why you and I love each other.

00:29:31
Speaker 1: We have different but definitely check it. Definitely you're in charge of that phone.

00:29:37
Speaker 2: Yep, for sure.

00:29:39
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay.

00:29:40
Speaker 2: Your boyfriend of six years gets an amazing job offer in a different country. You've just started to settle into your current city and love your own job. Do you uproot your life to support their career or ask them to reconsider the move for your sake?

00:29:57
Speaker 1: Well, that depends on how many commas are in the figure that demand's going to make.

00:30:04
Speaker 2: Oh wait, I thought you were going to go with where I was going. Your boyfriend of six years? What are you married, I mean, are living together? You know, why haven't you made that.

00:30:16
Speaker 1: Country? That's always exciting. It depends on how old you are, where you're at in your own career, where he's at. But if it's a big, huge thing, it's an experience.

00:30:27
Speaker 2: I know, see you and I that's the difference. We have lived long enough that if that opportunity came our way, we'd be like, hell yeah, the suitcase would be packed and you know, loaded for the airport before it get they had time to reconsider.

00:30:40
Speaker 1: But it does depend on a lot of how old are you right?

00:30:45
Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean, do you want to marry this person? Or do you want to live with this person? Do you uproot your life? I don't know. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this guy or this woman? Whoever it is. You know, it's an amazing job offer. Is your job so fabulous and you work remotely? Can you get another job? Do you are you going to be resentful? I mean yeah, if it were.

00:31:05
Speaker 1: You six year six year boyfriend, that's I mean.

00:31:11
Speaker 2: Maybe they don't go get married, maybe they don't want to.

00:31:14
Speaker 1: Be maybe they just live together or do they live together?

00:31:17
Speaker 2: But that's a thing you, But you and I can agree we'd be packed and ready to go.

00:31:22
Speaker 1: It depends on the country, of course.

00:31:26
Speaker 2: Okay, well there's there's there's.

00:31:28
Speaker 1: A few I might not want.

00:31:29
Speaker 2: To go to. I don't know, all right, amazing.

00:31:32
Speaker 1: Sweetheart, Do you and once again communicate with them? You know, see how big of a job this is already. So you discover that a colleague is taking credit for work you've done which has led to them receiving a promotion, do you confront them or go directly to your boss risking workplace harmony? Oh go, what a jerk?

00:32:02
Speaker 2: Well, there's always two sides of the guy sing that maybe it was a group project. We don't know all the details. But I can tell you what I wouldn't do. I would not go to the boss, and I would not confront the person because, you know what, the other person already has the promotion, so that ship has sailed. I would make sure that I am front and center on other projects and that my boss takes notice of me so that the next promotion is mine.

00:32:33
Speaker 1: I feel a little bit differently. I agree with not running to the boss and be a little snitch tattletale, but I will definitely confront him in a quiet place that nobody sees you. But you need to let him know that you're aware. Watch out, bitch, because I'm on you. How dare you? How dare you? She worked harder? They worked hard for this. We don't know the situation. Was it a team effort maybe that's what I'm saying.

00:33:02
Speaker 2: If it was a team that project, maybe you know. I mean, we only know.

00:33:07
Speaker 1: But she says, you discovered that a colleague is taking credit for work that you've done. Boom right there.

00:33:14
Speaker 2: Well, you know what if if if there's no documentation, I feel sorry for the boss because the boss probably you know, isn't isn't a detail oriented If they're not taking notice of that, I don't know that that's a tough one, but it is. I definitely would make sure that the work you do in the future, there's ways to make your boss aware of the work you're doing.

00:33:39
Speaker 1: But this happened, so what I said.

00:33:41
Speaker 2: The ship had sailed, so you know, it's not going to do anything. Bring it up.

00:33:44
Speaker 1: And I don't like people like that, but you know what, karma is a bitch.

00:33:48
Speaker 2: Did it ever happen to you?

00:33:49
Speaker 1: No? No, And I've never done that to anybody either. I would always give somebody credit, even if I helped on it.

00:33:57
Speaker 2: You know.

00:33:58
Speaker 1: Oh that's good. You know. I love the way people just write in and they're frustrated, they don't know what to do, and that's why we're here. Sometimes we can't give you the best answers, but we will give you our opinions, right.

00:34:11
Speaker 2: You know what I what I noticed, Susan, is that you and I give I think different answers now than we would have when we were in our twenties or thirties.

00:34:20
Speaker 1: Absolutely, absolutely, you.

00:34:22
Speaker 2: Know it's what is that? What is that youth is wasted on the young?

00:34:25
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:34:28
Speaker 2: Is that right?

00:34:30
Speaker 1: Yes?

00:34:30
Speaker 2: It is? Yes?

00:34:31
Speaker 1: Okay, then well that does it for this episode. And thank you so much for joining us today on Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour.

00:34:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you guys so much, and be sure to subscribe as we have new episodes and fabulous guests coming out every week that you won't want to.

00:34:49
Speaker 1: Miss, and make sure to submit your questions to us. Go to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour and send them in.

00:34:56
Speaker 2: Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the Heart Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts, See you next, mm hmm