“Porn Was My Safe Space”: Capri Cavanni on Porn Dicks, Stigma & Starting Over

<v Speaker 1>Stan.
<v Speaker 2>Hello everybody, Welcome back to Holly Randall Unfiltered. I want
<v Speaker 2>to first welcome my new Patreon members JJ Patrick and Kevin.
<v Speaker 2>If you are not a member of my Patreon, you
<v Speaker 2>should be because for as little as five dollars a month,
<v Speaker 2>you can watch these interviews lide streamed. You can also
<v Speaker 2>get access to bonus Q and a content behind the
<v Speaker 2>scenes of my shoots, and so much more. Go to
<v Speaker 2>patreon dot com slash Holly Randall Unfiltered to check out
<v Speaker 2>everything that I have to offer. But right now, I
<v Speaker 2>am very excited to welcome an og milf to the
<v Speaker 2>podcast today, not to mention an avid animal lover who's
<v Speaker 2>not afraid to speak her mind. This veterinary technician turned
<v Speaker 2>adult star disappeared from the industry in twenty fifteen to
<v Speaker 2>start a family. However, she is back in the new
<v Speaker 2>landscape of the only fans and content creation world while
<v Speaker 2>working through veterinary school and juggling parenthood. Welcome the one
<v Speaker 2>and only Capri Cavani. Hello, Hello, Hello, how are you?
<v Speaker 2>Oh well, thank you, I'm good. So welcome back. Thank
<v Speaker 2>the porn world. Yes, how long have you been back?
<v Speaker 2>Twenty twenty? Okay, so years five years. Yeah, well I.
<v Speaker 1>Did only fans on twenty twenty, but I didn't actually
<v Speaker 1>come back to porn porn until twenty three. Okay, Okay,
<v Speaker 1>it took me a few years to get back at it, Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>to get yes, yeah, to actually make that jump back in.
<v Speaker 2>Well, I want to get back into all of that,
<v Speaker 2>like while you left, while you came back. But you know,
<v Speaker 2>generally I like to start at the beginning. Yes, So
<v Speaker 2>let's talk about, you know, your love for animals, because
<v Speaker 2>I know that you know, that is something that actually
<v Speaker 2>a lot of adult stars have like a great affinity
<v Speaker 2>for animals, and like do I know a lot of
<v Speaker 2>adult stars that do like rescue and work with animals.
<v Speaker 2>I also know a lot of adult stars that do
<v Speaker 2>like nursing, And I think there's a lot to be
<v Speaker 2>said about like that nurturing side of people and then
<v Speaker 2>also like nurturing boners. I don't know, but like there
<v Speaker 2>is a there is a carrying intimacy to like both things, right,
<v Speaker 2>there is.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I feel like a lot of adult stars are
<v Speaker 1>so into animals, animal rescue. I know tons of chicks
<v Speaker 1>are like, I give so much money to all these rescues,
<v Speaker 1>and maybe it's just loving being able to love.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like, I don't know. I think people forget about that.
<v Speaker 2>You know. People often see porn as like this dirty,
<v Speaker 2>you know, skeezy thing, But and it's root. It's about love, right, Yeah.
<v Speaker 1>It's about intimacy and love and feeling good. Yeah, so
<v Speaker 1>that's at the end of the day, that's really what matters,
<v Speaker 1>is feeling good.
<v Speaker 2>I agree. So do you remember when you first knew
<v Speaker 2>that you wanted to like work with animals, Like when
<v Speaker 2>how long have your have animals been like a big
<v Speaker 2>part of your life?
<v Speaker 1>Since I was a little girl.
<v Speaker 2>So I was child.
<v Speaker 1>I got my first dog when I was nine, and
<v Speaker 1>I disobeyed my mother and I took said dog on
<v Speaker 1>a walk by myself when I wasn't supposed to fit.
<v Speaker 1>I already said that okay, and the dog got attacked
<v Speaker 1>by another dog. It was very traumatic. Oh no, I
<v Speaker 1>was in deep shit with my mom. We were dirt
<v Speaker 1>broke and she couldn't afford surgery to fix the dog,
<v Speaker 1>and I was really upset about it because this was
<v Speaker 1>my dog.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, So I knew that I wanted to make a difference.
<v Speaker 1>I knew I wanted to help people who were broke
<v Speaker 1>and genuinely loved their animals, but I had a hard
<v Speaker 1>time paying when should hit the fan?
<v Speaker 2>Yeah much so.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I kind of made up my mind then. And
<v Speaker 1>then along the way, I just veard to the left
<v Speaker 1>a little bit.
<v Speaker 2>You went to the to the make money angle I
<v Speaker 2>did first year. Well, you wanted to help the animals,
<v Speaker 2>but then you realize it's actually very expensive to help
<v Speaker 2>the animals, and so you went and the school down. Yeah.
<v Speaker 1>When I was younger, I was not going to commit
<v Speaker 1>to that type of school.
<v Speaker 2>There was no way. There was no way. So you
<v Speaker 2>wanted to be I feel like every kid wants to
<v Speaker 2>be a vet growing up because like all kids love
<v Speaker 2>animals and it sounds like such a cool like job.
<v Speaker 2>Did you want to be a vet from that moment
<v Speaker 2>or was it earlier?
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so from when I was nine. That's when I
<v Speaker 1>realized what I wanted to do. But then once I
<v Speaker 1>got into high school and realized I wasn't interested in school,
<v Speaker 1>things were like I changed my mind. But so once
<v Speaker 1>I graduated high school, I was trying to figure out
<v Speaker 1>what to do. I was working as like a reception
<v Speaker 1>I worked in offices for like car dealerships and water companies,
<v Speaker 1>random things. And I actually went to school to become
<v Speaker 1>a veterin and technician instead because that was easier define
<v Speaker 1>a reachable goal.
<v Speaker 2>I mean veterinary school. You used to go to VET school.
<v Speaker 2>I think longer than it is to be a doctor, right,
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I'm pretty sure it's like more schooling.
<v Speaker 1>It's well, I don't know how much a doctor is.
<v Speaker 1>But VET school's four years for a bachelor's and then
<v Speaker 1>four years for VET school. Right, I don't know what
<v Speaker 1>med school is.
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think it depends on like what specific route
<v Speaker 2>you take, right, Like you get your general like you
<v Speaker 2>get a general medical degree, and then like obviously if
<v Speaker 2>you want to specialize in neuroscience, it's like a whole difference,
<v Speaker 2>right thing.
<v Speaker 1>But right, it's a lot, as I'm learning now, it's
<v Speaker 1>a lot. But back then I was not interested in
<v Speaker 1>committing to that whatsoever. I wanted to be my age.
<v Speaker 1>I wanted to party. Yeah, I get it, I did.
<v Speaker 2>I get it. You know, it's funny. I also wanted
<v Speaker 2>to be a VET when I was a kid, A
<v Speaker 2>really big surprise. And I'm somebody who's really hard on
<v Speaker 2>themselves about like achieving things, and so I had this
<v Speaker 2>idea that if I was going to be a VET,
<v Speaker 2>I had to start studying really early, so around the
<v Speaker 2>age of I would say, more like maybe eleven ish.
<v Speaker 2>My mom had this whole like veterinary series handbook. Like
<v Speaker 2>it was a whole like series, right, I don't know,
<v Speaker 2>there's like five books or something, and I would force
<v Speaker 2>myself to read like a chapter or half to chapter
<v Speaker 2>like every day because if I didn't do that, then
<v Speaker 2>I would never be a VET. Now, like I was
<v Speaker 2>like eleven, like that that stuff is unreadable now at
<v Speaker 2>forty seven, you know what I mean. And it's like
<v Speaker 2>so dense and it's literally meant for doctors. But I
<v Speaker 2>remember being like, you have to read this otherwise you'll
<v Speaker 2>never be a VET, and like I couldn't understand it.
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't digest it. And I remember being so angry
<v Speaker 2>at myself for not being able to understand it, and
<v Speaker 2>like beating myself up about not understanding the veterinary Handbook
<v Speaker 2>at like the knowledge. But yeah, that's funny. And then
<v Speaker 2>I also realized that maybe that was not the path
<v Speaker 2>for me, so I get that. Yeah, so okay, so
<v Speaker 2>you're now you recognize, okay, veterinary technician much easier.
<v Speaker 1>Did that round the hospitals. I was broke, but I
<v Speaker 1>loved what I did, Like I loved.
<v Speaker 2>Working in the hospital. Loved it.
<v Speaker 1>There was never a day that I said I hate
<v Speaker 1>my job.
<v Speaker 2>Really, yes, what did you love about it? Because I
<v Speaker 2>feel like for me, there would be a lot. There
<v Speaker 2>must have been a lot of really hard moments.
<v Speaker 1>Of course, of course, but it's worth it. Yeah, because yeah,
<v Speaker 1>when you get to help people, when you get to
<v Speaker 1>help pets. My biggest what I get off on is
<v Speaker 1>helping people help their pets. So when I can talk
<v Speaker 1>to an owner and I can explain things, and I
<v Speaker 1>know that that information that I tell them is going
<v Speaker 1>to better this animal's life, I love that. Like, man, Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>they're innocent little creatures, and there's so many people that
<v Speaker 1>just don't know they love animals, but they're not like
<v Speaker 1>a super geek about it, so they don't really know
<v Speaker 1>what they're supposed to be doing. So yeah, in the hospital,
<v Speaker 1>it was great. It was sad, of course it was.
<v Speaker 1>There was some devastating moments. Yeah, but I think it
<v Speaker 1>taught me, man, It taught me a lot, and it
<v Speaker 1>taught me empathy. It taught me how to let go
<v Speaker 1>of things because you have to know when it's the
<v Speaker 1>time to let go. And that's again I dealt with
<v Speaker 1>all my clients. I would help a lot of them.
<v Speaker 1>So one of the most common questions I was asked
<v Speaker 1>is when is it time for you know what?
<v Speaker 2>I feel like every single pet owner is that question.
<v Speaker 1>And legally, like we're not allowed to tell them right
<v Speaker 1>now is the time? But I I would help educate
<v Speaker 1>people to make the best choices and ultimately the animal
<v Speaker 1>got the benefit of that.
<v Speaker 2>So, yeah, how do you like what would be? How
<v Speaker 2>do you know? Yeah, how do you know?
<v Speaker 1>When there's no quality of life? So when they're not
<v Speaker 1>eating on their own, when they can't get up, that's
<v Speaker 1>when that's it. If there's no pep in their step,
<v Speaker 1>if there's if you don't get even a glimmer of
<v Speaker 1>a tailwag you But if they don't want to eat,
<v Speaker 1>because food to animals is everything, right, If they're not eating, yeah,
<v Speaker 1>then you know, but they're if they're let's say, if
<v Speaker 1>they're not eating but they're still really happy, well then
<v Speaker 1>there's probably just something wrong in medical attention, right right, Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>quality of life, that's it, that's all it is. Some
<v Speaker 1>people hold on for dear life and the animal ends
<v Speaker 1>up suffering.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's the problem I remember like having because you know,
<v Speaker 2>I've had quite a few dogs, and you know, unfortunately
<v Speaker 2>I've had to put them all down. I mean, I
<v Speaker 2>think that that's the way that most you know, if
<v Speaker 2>they live a long life, that's how their life ends.
<v Speaker 2>One dog that I loved, the best dog I've ever had,
<v Speaker 2>Bonnie Scott Nails actually gave her to me. Really yeah,
<v Speaker 2>she was the best dog in the world. And I remember,
<v Speaker 2>like towards the end of her life, like I knew
<v Speaker 2>that the day was coming, and every morning I woke
<v Speaker 2>up like hoping she was dead, honestly because I didn't
<v Speaker 2>want to have to make that decision because I knew that,
<v Speaker 2>like like and I was like, please, just like can
<v Speaker 2>she just die ready, sleep like on our own so
<v Speaker 2>I don't have to be the one to do it
<v Speaker 2>and have like a peaceful death. And yeah, I mean,
<v Speaker 2>I you know, I remember that when I woke up
<v Speaker 2>and she just looked at me and I was like,
<v Speaker 2>this is the day. And it was awful. I mean,
<v Speaker 2>you know, all the animals that I've had to put
<v Speaker 2>down has been terrible. But yeah, I know it's definitely
<v Speaker 2>and I always think how ironic it is that we
<v Speaker 2>get to alleviate animals suffering, but we don't get to
<v Speaker 2>do that with humans. They do in Canada. I know,
<v Speaker 2>like I don't know. I'm a strong believer in euthanasia,
<v Speaker 2>and I know that there's a lot of nuances around it,
<v Speaker 2>and I know it's a very complicated situation because it
<v Speaker 2>can definitely.
<v Speaker 1>Be abused the right situation. But in the right situation,
<v Speaker 1>the old couple who they spent their whole lives together, Okay,
<v Speaker 1>they were like in like their nineties or something. It
<v Speaker 1>was just in Germany, and they want us to die together,
<v Speaker 1>and so they did, and.
<v Speaker 2>It was beautiful, like they don't have a whole one. Yes,
<v Speaker 2>it was so cute.
<v Speaker 1>Like I can't say death isn't cute, right, But what
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying is that, right, just the fact that they
<v Speaker 1>had this option to die together. They said their whole
<v Speaker 1>lives they were together, and they wanted to end it
<v Speaker 1>this way. And the government said.
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so I'm assuming one of them was like terminally
<v Speaker 2>ill and then the other one was not. I guess
<v Speaker 2>I guess it's just old.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, interesting, right, Yeah, But if someone wants to do that,
<v Speaker 1>then who are we to tell, you know, if they
<v Speaker 1>don't have any mental health issues?
<v Speaker 2>Right? And that's where like I think the reb lies, Right,
<v Speaker 2>how do you determine who has a mental health issue
<v Speaker 2>and who is just ready to go? Yeah? You know.
<v Speaker 2>But it's also like infuriating to me too that they,
<v Speaker 2>you know, like the government will force you to keep
<v Speaker 2>like somebody alive and they're just like this, they're just existing, right,
<v Speaker 2>and they're not like there is no quality of life,
<v Speaker 2>and and you have to assign like an advanced directive
<v Speaker 2>to even you know, get to allow for your children
<v Speaker 2>to like make the decision to like let you go.
<v Speaker 2>I mean, that's what happened with my dad. You know,
<v Speaker 2>we had to make the decision to take him off
<v Speaker 2>life support. Oh wow, which is one hundred percent what
<v Speaker 2>he would have wanted. I mean, he was he had
<v Speaker 2>Parkinson's and he was starting to like decline like a lot.
<v Speaker 2>And he actually went out in a better way than
<v Speaker 2>he could have. He fell and he hit his head
<v Speaker 2>and he ended up having a brain bleed and he
<v Speaker 2>went to a koma. Oh wow, brain dead, And so
<v Speaker 2>we let him go. It's okay, thank you, But I remember,
<v Speaker 2>you know, when he was really starting to become like
<v Speaker 2>immobile and it was really starting and he did not
<v Speaker 2>want to live like that, right, Like he and he
<v Speaker 2>remember he turned to me and he goes, if I
<v Speaker 2>get to a place where it's really bad and I
<v Speaker 2>want to go, He's like, you need to be the
<v Speaker 2>one to take care of it. And I was like,
<v Speaker 2>that's not bad, Like you know what I mean. But
<v Speaker 2>he didn't want to be trapped in that body.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>Living here in the in the States, he doesn't have
<v Speaker 2>that option, right, he doesn't get to make that decision
<v Speaker 2>when like he's decided that he's had enough and he's
<v Speaker 2>suffering and he's just trapped in a body that can't
<v Speaker 2>serve him. Hmmm. So then to change that here, of
<v Speaker 2>course they should. Yeah. So then like he's sort of
<v Speaker 2>jokingly but sort of not like puts it on me,
<v Speaker 2>like I'm going to trust you to take me out? No,
<v Speaker 2>what my dad?
<v Speaker 3>Like, dad, No, oh my god. Right, that's intense. I know,
<v Speaker 3>thankfully that didn't. I don't found that way, but I
<v Speaker 3>mean I sort of like understand.
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I wouldn't want to live that way. I wouldn't
<v Speaker 1>want to be like put on my missile. Yeah, no,
<v Speaker 1>thank you. Yeah, it's hard enough as it is, let
<v Speaker 1>alone in that condition, like I know, yeah.
<v Speaker 2>And the way that you know, I mean, you know,
<v Speaker 2>human beings were not meant to live as long as
<v Speaker 2>we do, right, I mean, like our bodies give up
<v Speaker 2>after a time, and we've had wonderful medical advances where
<v Speaker 2>we can live a long, high quality level of life
<v Speaker 2>for a long period of time, and that's fantastic. But
<v Speaker 2>like once you're done, like you're done. But like you know,
<v Speaker 2>we just keep people like alive on machines or like
<v Speaker 2>just alive and they don't know where they are, and
<v Speaker 2>they're just like a vegetable and they're just like spoon
<v Speaker 2>feeding them. I mean, like what the what the fuck?
<v Speaker 2>Is that crazy?
<v Speaker 1>Right?
<v Speaker 2>You're just like a breathing lump of flesh. Anyways, Welcome
<v Speaker 2>to the porn podcast where we talk about death a lot.
<v Speaker 2>I talk about death a lot on this podcast. It's okay,
<v Speaker 2>it's a part of life. I talk about death a lot.
<v Speaker 2>I don't know why the last few episodes especially, I'm
<v Speaker 2>just very heavy. Sorry. Maybe I should just do a
<v Speaker 2>separate podcast called Holly is Itsess with Death? Would you
<v Speaker 2>watch that? Probably?
<v Speaker 1>Not.
<v Speaker 2>I think they might. Yeah, yeah, maybe we should talk
<v Speaker 2>about dicks. I don't know, back to dicks. Should we
<v Speaker 2>get back to to dicks? Okay, we're worried before we
<v Speaker 2>started going up the bed.
<v Speaker 1>School well no, no, the bet tech thing, and then it
<v Speaker 1>broke Vettech ended up in worn because I've gotten porn
<v Speaker 1>because I want to sleep girls.
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so let's go. Let's go back to that very
<v Speaker 2>sexy part moment in your life.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so I was dating this here's actually how it went. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>so I'm dating this guy. This guy comes on the
<v Speaker 1>animal hospital picks me up.
<v Speaker 2>Damn it.
<v Speaker 1>This always happened the worst ones. They win me over
<v Speaker 1>with these fucking pitble puppies.
<v Speaker 2>Ah, and so he takes me a hit bull, no
<v Speaker 2>pick up gode he tried.
<v Speaker 1>He came in once before and tried to hit on
<v Speaker 1>me and I shut him down. And then he came
<v Speaker 1>in with the puppies.
<v Speaker 2>And then he's like, this is what I need. I
<v Speaker 2>need a pit bull puppy and then I can get her.
<v Speaker 2>And then he got me. Oh with my fucking puppy
<v Speaker 2>that he gave away.
<v Speaker 1>Was I started dating him? Yes?
<v Speaker 2>Yes, mm hmmm mm hmmm mm hmm. Somebody should start
<v Speaker 2>a service where they just like rent out puppies to
<v Speaker 2>like desperate, lonely men and they can use him to
<v Speaker 2>pick up on chicks. Oh my god, they really should,
<v Speaker 2>They really should, so that everybody.
<v Speaker 1>We go on our first date, he takes me to
<v Speaker 1>a nude beach. I had never been. I was a
<v Speaker 1>total prude, total prude. We had sex with one person.
<v Speaker 2>Did you know he was taking you to no beach?
<v Speaker 1>No, he took me to this place called wreck Beach
<v Speaker 1>in Vancouver, and I'm like, what the fuck. And then
<v Speaker 1>he takes me back to his apartment and he's like,
<v Speaker 1>let me make you a sandwich. I'm like, okay, parents
<v Speaker 1>are there. They live in his apartment.
<v Speaker 2>You get naked at the beach?
<v Speaker 1>No, no, he just took you to a nude beech. Yeah.
<v Speaker 1>We sat there, smoked a joint and left.
<v Speaker 2>Okay.
<v Speaker 1>And then he's like, hey, let's go, I'll make you
<v Speaker 1>lunch and I'm like okay. So he makes me this
<v Speaker 1>like chicken and pickle sandwich.
<v Speaker 2>Sounds kind of delicious. It was still like a Persian thing.
<v Speaker 2>It was really good. It was that sounds really good.
<v Speaker 2>It was like pickles a lot.
<v Speaker 1>And his parents are there, and his parents lived with him,
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, okay, this is cool. And then he's like,
<v Speaker 1>let me show you my ex girlfriend. And I'm like,
<v Speaker 1>who the fuck is your ex girlfriend? And why are
<v Speaker 1>you showing me your ex girlfriend? Oh she's a porn star.
<v Speaker 1>What the fuck her name was? Valerie Shaw? Okay, I
<v Speaker 1>don't know, I like just from way back in the day.
<v Speaker 1>So I was like, huh, interesting, and I got jealous,
<v Speaker 1>Like automatically, I got jealous, and it made me like,
<v Speaker 1>look at the psychology behind us. It made me more
<v Speaker 1>interested in him that he had this chick like, I
<v Speaker 1>don't know, man, psychology is so interesting.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, he got me, and I was like, hm,
<v Speaker 1>I can be a model too. So I started doing
<v Speaker 1>photo shoots. I ended up I was just doing like
<v Speaker 1>lingerie and swimsuit work. I ended up doing catalogs. This
<v Speaker 1>is back in the what was the website called Model Mayhem?
<v Speaker 2>Remember that? Oh yeah, I do remember it, and I
<v Speaker 2>believe it still exists really yeah.
<v Speaker 1>And there was one more. There was Model Mayhem and
<v Speaker 1>another one. I forget what the other one was called.
<v Speaker 1>But I ended up making a whole portfolio. I started
<v Speaker 1>getting modeling jobs. And then a guy named Waldy Martin's
<v Speaker 1>who was a photographer for Playboy. He called and was like,
<v Speaker 1>can I shoot you for Playboy? And I was like, okay,
<v Speaker 1>I'll take my clothes off the fuck and that led
<v Speaker 1>to like, well, then he was like I want to
<v Speaker 1>fuck you and another girl, and I was like, what
<v Speaker 1>not the photographer, your boy No, the boyfriend.
<v Speaker 2>And he's like yeah.
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, you just want to do this because you
<v Speaker 1>grew with a porn start before.
<v Speaker 2>And he's like, well, it's really hot. So I'm like, okay,
<v Speaker 2>let's do it. So we did it.
<v Speaker 1>And I had the best fucking time in my life
<v Speaker 1>with this other girl. She was beautiful, she was an escort,
<v Speaker 1>so we hire.
<v Speaker 2>He let me go. He got a professional Yes, I mean.
<v Speaker 1>He yeah, it's funny.
<v Speaker 2>We're still friends. It's you and the escort. No, are
<v Speaker 2>you the guy? Are you the guy?
<v Speaker 1>I make him shoot with me for only fans?
<v Speaker 2>Okay? I know that pickle sandwich went far. It really
<v Speaker 2>did it really really did.
<v Speaker 1>So wow, my whole story and now I'm getting lost
<v Speaker 1>pit bull puppy puppy sandwich.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, all of that. There you go, guys, there's the
<v Speaker 2>playbook and then.
<v Speaker 1>We split up and I was like, no, well, I
<v Speaker 1>also I wanted to sleep with more girls, and I would.
<v Speaker 2>You have any inkling at all that you liked girls
<v Speaker 2>before this, before I did three way with him? No,
<v Speaker 2>I had no idea.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was like wow, wow, like she was beautiful.
<v Speaker 1>I had a really good time. So then I started
<v Speaker 1>sleeping with other girls, but they weren't like the kind
<v Speaker 1>of girls that I was really attracted to.
<v Speaker 2>I was just fucking them just to fuck them.
<v Speaker 1>And what kind of girl are you really attracted to?
<v Speaker 1>Very feminine, very very feminine girls. Okay, and they're just
<v Speaker 1>I was going to this club called Celebrities, was gay bar.
<v Speaker 1>I was trying to find myself. It wasn't working.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it wasn't working. And yeah, so.
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, okay, well what if I did porn because
<v Speaker 1>I'll get paid and I'll get the hot girls. It's
<v Speaker 1>a win win.
<v Speaker 2>Wow. So that's what I did. Interesting, Yes, So it
<v Speaker 2>was the women that brought you in.
<v Speaker 1>It was I initially only came to do girl girl,
<v Speaker 1>and when I sat down with Derek Hay, he said,
<v Speaker 1>you're not good enough to only.
<v Speaker 2>Do a girl girl. There's no working girl girl money.
<v Speaker 1>How are you going to afford everything out here? You
<v Speaker 1>have to do boy girl? And I was like, it
<v Speaker 1>sounds like Derek right, yeah, and that was it.
<v Speaker 2>Derek k. But by the way, Is was the owner
<v Speaker 2>of one of like the top adult industry agencies called
<v Speaker 2>Eli Direct Models. Just for those of you who don't know. Yeah,
<v Speaker 2>so that was it.
<v Speaker 1>He had me on my first shoot with Vivid with Marcos.
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, is zip porn life? Did you ever
<v Speaker 2>see his music video?
<v Speaker 4>No?
<v Speaker 2>Oh girl, but he is just I gotta send it
<v Speaker 2>to you after you've never seen Marco Bunderris's music video
<v Speaker 2>of The Porn Life. Nobody talks about porn life a lot.
<v Speaker 2>Wait what he did a music video called the porn Life.
<v Speaker 2>It's what he's saying. A song. He made a song
<v Speaker 2>and he did a music video called The Porn Life.
<v Speaker 2>I swear to god it's the foot I love you, Marco.
<v Speaker 2>It's the funniest thing.
<v Speaker 1>So I could totally see him doing something.
<v Speaker 2>Margot was great, but like he was a solid performer, great,
<v Speaker 2>a great.
<v Speaker 1>Guy that white smile.
<v Speaker 2>Love working with him, but really over the top impressions
<v Speaker 2>in pictures. I had to usually be like Margot Kenya
<v Speaker 2>just hide your head behind her or just done it
<v Speaker 2>down a little bit, because all of his expressions were
<v Speaker 2>like they were like the So it was a little
<v Speaker 2>bit much. Oh that's great. I love all these memories.
<v Speaker 2>But Marko and Dere's was he was. He was a solid.
<v Speaker 2>I worked with him a lot. He was good. Oh
<v Speaker 2>my god.
<v Speaker 1>All the guys in the beginning, so many of them
<v Speaker 1>that just aren't even like Billy Glide and he was
<v Speaker 1>my first Naughty America scene, no second Naughty America sane.
<v Speaker 2>But anyways, who is still around back then? That was
<v Speaker 2>around back then? Tommy again, Yep, he's still around.
<v Speaker 1>We were talking about him earlier. Actually, yeah, he's great.
<v Speaker 2>Who Derek Pearce, Derek Pearce, Yes, Karen Well, Kiaren is mean?
<v Speaker 2>Yes right yeah, kering Lee, he's like herds. He won't
<v Speaker 2>go away. I love you, karens Yes.
<v Speaker 1>Well.
<v Speaker 2>Johnny sins is like a legend now, he is literally
<v Speaker 2>a meme, right right, I mean, it's insane. Who else
<v Speaker 2>I don't know?
<v Speaker 1>Ryan hasn't the Instagram is the state of Ryan.
<v Speaker 2>Ryan McLain, Yes, okay, around back then too. I don't know.
<v Speaker 2>I feel like he's not.
<v Speaker 1>But the guys who are on like a heavy rotation
<v Speaker 1>back then they're not around anymore. Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean it's like people talk a lot about
<v Speaker 2>how the industry is like hard on women, it's hard
<v Speaker 2>on men, yes, Like it really is because that equipment.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's harder for them too. I feel like because
<v Speaker 1>you know, during the scene, like if a girl is
<v Speaker 1>not being very nice or something, and he still has
<v Speaker 1>to perform, Like we can always perform whether we're mentally
<v Speaker 1>checked in, yeah, whatever, but if he's not, you know,
<v Speaker 1>the whole he like it all lays on him.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I know. It's a lot of pressure. It
<v Speaker 2>is a lot of pressure. Yeah, let's talk rail talk
<v Speaker 2>for a second, guys, because this is something way more
<v Speaker 2>common than you might actually think. Did you know that
<v Speaker 2>over thirty million men in the US experience a rectil dysfunction?
<v Speaker 2>And it's not just an older guy problem, though it
<v Speaker 2>does become more common with age. By the time you're
<v Speaker 2>in your forties, about forty percent of men deal with it.
<v Speaker 2>In your fifties over half, and by sixty nearly seventy percent.
<v Speaker 2>But here's the thing. ED isn't a personal failing. It's
<v Speaker 2>often just biology, stress, heart health, hormone levels. Even certain
<v Speaker 2>medications can play a role. So if you're struggling, you
<v Speaker 2>are far from alone and there's absolutely nothing to be
<v Speaker 2>ashamed of. This is where blue Shoe comes in. It's
<v Speaker 2>a discreete convenient service that delivers chewable tablets to help
<v Speaker 2>you get and stay confident in the bed. There's no
<v Speaker 2>awkward doctor visits, no pharmacy lines, just a quick online
<v Speaker 2>consult with a licensed medical provider and if you're approved,
<v Speaker 2>the chewbowls arrive right at your door in discrete packaging.
<v Speaker 2>So why not take control of your life, make life
<v Speaker 2>easier by getting harder and discover your options at blue
<v Speaker 2>choo dot com And here is the hookup. Try your
<v Speaker 2>first month for free, Yes free when you use promo
<v Speaker 2>code Holly. Just pay five dollars for shipping. Again, that's
<v Speaker 2>promo code Holly at blue chew dot com. Visit the
<v Speaker 2>site for more details and important safety information and of
<v Speaker 2>course a huge thank you to blue Choo for sponsoring
<v Speaker 2>the podcast and for helping us keep that spark real. Okay,
<v Speaker 2>so I want to get into a little bit more
<v Speaker 2>detail about your first scene of course with Marcolm Manderas.
<v Speaker 2>Do you remember what company it was?
<v Speaker 1>For Vivid. Okaya, oh right.
<v Speaker 2>You said that, yes, okay, So tell me, like, walk
<v Speaker 2>me through that day. What was your thoughts walking on set?
<v Speaker 1>So I showed up and I had my big ass
<v Speaker 1>suitcase and got dropped off by the driver and I.
<v Speaker 2>Was like, yeah, what the fuck?
<v Speaker 1>And they're like, okay, pull out your wardrobe and I'm
<v Speaker 1>picking up my wardrobe and he walks in and I
<v Speaker 1>nearly had a heart attack because he's so big. I'm
<v Speaker 1>so little, so short, he's very tall. He's very tall,
<v Speaker 1>very broad shortly, he's a man like whoa and that
<v Speaker 1>white smile and just he was just so big. And
<v Speaker 1>then he got naked and I was like, oh, my
<v Speaker 1>fucking god, are you kidding me?
<v Speaker 2>I can't do that. Like his dick was so big
<v Speaker 2>that I.
<v Speaker 1>Had never experienced anything like that before prior to porn.
<v Speaker 2>I think one two maybe.
<v Speaker 1>I saw up with three people.
<v Speaker 2>Oh wow.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so I hadn't seen a lot of penises, and
<v Speaker 1>I was very scared. I was super scared. But he
<v Speaker 1>was really nice. Yeah, and he was as gentle as
<v Speaker 1>it could have been, So it went well. I remember
<v Speaker 1>being really sweaty, I remember being very hot, and yeah,
<v Speaker 1>that's pretty much.
<v Speaker 2>I remember being really sweaty. Was it during the summer. Yeah,
<v Speaker 2>and they probably turned off the air conditioning, probably when
<v Speaker 2>you're running the act, because they never that's the one thing.
<v Speaker 2>All right, we're rolling down, turn off the air and
<v Speaker 2>everyone's like fuck. Yeah, I remember those days. Yeah, I
<v Speaker 2>was worse. Oh my god.
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I was very afraid of the penis size.
<v Speaker 2>And was it painful? Were you able to acclimate after
<v Speaker 2>a while?
<v Speaker 1>You know, I don't remember exactly, so that tells me
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't that painful, because.
<v Speaker 2>If it was, you would remember remember. Yeah. So how
<v Speaker 2>did you feel after that? Happy? Good? Yeah?
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you felt like, okay, that wasn't as bad. Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>it's like, okay, that's cool, I can do this. I
<v Speaker 1>had no problems having sex in front of people, which
<v Speaker 1>is interesting.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, where do you think that is?
<v Speaker 1>I have no idea.
<v Speaker 4>Have you always kind of been like an exhibitionist but
<v Speaker 4>not at all interesting? I know there's a whole other side.
<v Speaker 4>There was stuff that I wanted to try, but I
<v Speaker 4>was just too scared. I was too much of a prude.
<v Speaker 4>I was afraid.
<v Speaker 1>I was afraid I was going to get hurt or
<v Speaker 1>something if I put myself in a bad situation, So
<v Speaker 1>porn was really it was really good for me because
<v Speaker 1>I got to really learn who I am in a
<v Speaker 1>controlled and safe environment where everyone's tested. Like, man, it's
<v Speaker 1>got such a bad rep and it really shouldn't in
<v Speaker 1>my opinion.
<v Speaker 2>No, I mean, you're literally like the hundredth person I've
<v Speaker 2>heard say those exact things, Like it was a safe
<v Speaker 2>space for me to try out all of these different
<v Speaker 2>things that I wanted to try because I want to
<v Speaker 2>set with a bunch of professional people, like you know,
<v Speaker 2>there's accountability because I'm surrounded by others. I'm working with
<v Speaker 2>professionals like you know, for the most part, if you're
<v Speaker 2>working with reputable companies, yeah, they have your best interests
<v Speaker 2>in mind, and you know, you're able to state your
<v Speaker 2>boundaries before the scene starts, and if something is too
<v Speaker 2>much for you or painful, you can stop things and yeah,
<v Speaker 2>you know.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you don't have to worry about you know.
<v Speaker 2>Things been taken too far and you being powerless to
<v Speaker 2>stop it. Yeah. Yeah, Now, looking back, do you think
<v Speaker 2>that there is anything that you would have done differently
<v Speaker 2>knowing what you know now in the beginning of your career.
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I wouldn't have been so dodgy with whether I
<v Speaker 1>was doing boy girl, girl girl, Like I started with
<v Speaker 1>boy girl, and then I would go on periods where
<v Speaker 1>I was only doing girl girl, and it was always
<v Speaker 1>why was it because of a man?
<v Speaker 2>Really? Yeah? Who knew?
<v Speaker 1>So they have cute puppies too. This one had no puppies.
<v Speaker 1>Actually he was just a really good in bed.
<v Speaker 2>Okay, that was it.
<v Speaker 1>He won me with the dick, yeah, but he kept me.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what it was. I was young and
<v Speaker 1>I was.
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I don't know.
<v Speaker 1>My older self looks at my younger self and it's like,
<v Speaker 1>what were you doing?
<v Speaker 2>But you know what am I going to do?
<v Speaker 1>Now? Yeah? Yeah, hindsight's twenty twenty. It is so if
<v Speaker 1>I wish I had never met him, because then maybe
<v Speaker 1>I would have stayed just on track and not flipped
<v Speaker 1>and flop and like some directors joke about it, like
<v Speaker 1>are you doing boy girl this month?
<v Speaker 2>Now? Is there any advice that you would give new
<v Speaker 2>talent looking to start out in the adult industry just
<v Speaker 2>in general, not necessarily like things you wish you'd done differently,
<v Speaker 2>but like now knowing what you know, if someone was
<v Speaker 2>to come to you and say I want to get
<v Speaker 2>into porn, Like, what are some things that you would
<v Speaker 2>tell them that they should really keep in mind or
<v Speaker 2>look out for.
<v Speaker 1>I would definitely say to stick to the boundaries, to
<v Speaker 1>write the boundaries down and stick to them. Yeah, and
<v Speaker 1>don't break them for money. Don't break them because somebody
<v Speaker 1>makes you feel guilty or I really want you to
<v Speaker 1>do this scene.
<v Speaker 2>Would be so good to see you do an X,
<v Speaker 2>Y and Z. That's cool. But it lives on the
<v Speaker 2>internet forever.
<v Speaker 1>That's rights. I've learned that it lives on the internet forever.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, I'm assuming that you've done scenes that you've
<v Speaker 2>probably regretted.
<v Speaker 1>Yep, Yeah, I sure do. There's a couple out there
<v Speaker 1>that I wish I had not done. Yeah, and what
<v Speaker 1>am I gonna do now? Right?
<v Speaker 2>Probably not mention what they are on this podcast so
<v Speaker 2>people don't go with them.
<v Speaker 1>They'll probably already have an idea. Like there were still
<v Speaker 1>good times. It's not that I ever had like bad experience.
<v Speaker 1>I never had a bad experience on set. Oh that's
<v Speaker 1>really good. Yes, I have no bad stories that I
<v Speaker 1>could do.
<v Speaker 2>You just feel like it just didn't align with your
<v Speaker 2>brand seem that you did Yeah, Yeah, that makes sense.
<v Speaker 1>I did it more because Robert was like.
<v Speaker 2>Come on, will you do this please? Yeah? I was like,
<v Speaker 2>fuck Robert at Ellie Direct. Yeah yeah, fine, Now you
<v Speaker 2>I'm assuming are no longer a vet tech at this.
<v Speaker 1>Point, No, so stop doing that.
<v Speaker 2>Gotten the porn.
<v Speaker 1>I stopped working with animals altogether, and then I that
<v Speaker 1>I missed so much, so I started volunteering in a
<v Speaker 1>shelter and that led to me. The short of the
<v Speaker 1>lung is the shelter led to me going to dog
<v Speaker 1>grooming school, which led to me opening up a dog
<v Speaker 1>grooming company. And when I disappeared, that's how I made
<v Speaker 1>my income as a full time dog groomer.
<v Speaker 2>Oh wow, yeah, I know. So tell me about leaving
<v Speaker 2>the industry, like, why was that? How was that? I
<v Speaker 2>did miss it?
<v Speaker 1>But I was in love, so I didn't miss it
<v Speaker 1>that much at the time. Yeah, I knew that I
<v Speaker 1>needed to figure something else out because being in the
<v Speaker 1>industry just doing that wasn't filling my emotional cup. It
<v Speaker 1>was filling my financial cup. But I almost felt I
<v Speaker 1>felt like I wouldn't allow myself to be in a
<v Speaker 1>relationship because I was having sex with other people and
<v Speaker 1>I do appreciate monogamy. I myself wouldn't want to be
<v Speaker 1>in whatever the word is for multi people relationship. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>so I'm not I'm not like that now. But I
<v Speaker 1>wasn't trying to go broke or I didn't want to
<v Speaker 1>just be a webcam girl. I didn't want to just
<v Speaker 1>do solos. And whether I'm fucking a girl or a guy,
<v Speaker 1>to me, it doesn't make the same or I mean,
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't make a difference because I'm into both of them.
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, and I didn't want to be like, oh,
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna go after work and go sleep with somebody
<v Speaker 1>else and you're just gonna chill at home like without
<v Speaker 1>you going to do it.
<v Speaker 2>No, it didn't. It didn't work for me.
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, so I kind of phased out of shooting.
<v Speaker 1>And then what happened. I phased out of shooting a
<v Speaker 1>little bit. I was shooting every so often. Oh, and
<v Speaker 1>then I got attacked.
<v Speaker 2>By a dog.
<v Speaker 1>That's what happened. Oh, I got mauled by this dog
<v Speaker 1>in the shelter. Yeah, and I was on crutches.
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, yeah, oh my god. And I met him.
<v Speaker 1>I met this guy and he how sorry, can we
<v Speaker 1>just talk about real quick, what like, where did he
<v Speaker 1>where did he attack? He latched on I was wearing
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I think I was wearing my ugs
<v Speaker 1>and I was in a dog cage with him, and
<v Speaker 1>he he just he turned. It was transfer aggression. So
<v Speaker 1>he was barking at a dog. I looked at him
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, no, stop barking, and because he
<v Speaker 1>was well, he looked up at me and was like, okay,
<v Speaker 1>let's go. So it's called transfer aggression. It's like when
<v Speaker 1>you see when two dogs are at a window and
<v Speaker 1>they're burb and you see then they start attacking each other,
<v Speaker 1>so it just.
<v Speaker 2>You know, feeds over.
<v Speaker 1>So anyways, yeah, he went at me instead and he
<v Speaker 1>grabbed my legs. I had to give him something. Well,
<v Speaker 1>he was nipping out my shirt and then I'm like, okay,
<v Speaker 1>shit's going down. I'm about to get molded by the dog.
<v Speaker 1>So I turned around and grabbed the chain link and
<v Speaker 1>was trying to make my way, but he was lunging,
<v Speaker 1>so I stuck on a leg. I have four pendages
<v Speaker 1>I could offer him.
<v Speaker 2>And this is is that really what was running through
<v Speaker 2>your mind when you did that? Or was it just
<v Speaker 2>like an instant like you.
<v Speaker 1>Have to give him something to bite because he was
<v Speaker 1>going up my belly. Yeah you know, you know, because
<v Speaker 1>you know. So I gave him a leg and he
<v Speaker 1>grabbed on and thank god I was wearing my ugs.
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, because he his teeth were right on
<v Speaker 1>the stitching, and but he ended up ripping through them,
<v Speaker 1>ripped through my jeans. He was trying to kill me.
<v Speaker 1>It was so fucking scary. So I'm holding onto the
<v Speaker 1>chain link trying to get my boots and they're just.
<v Speaker 2>Fucking climb the chain link.
<v Speaker 1>But my boots were so fat that I couldn't climb them.
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, fuck, I'm not gonna rip my shoes off
<v Speaker 1>right now.
<v Speaker 2>There's no way.
<v Speaker 1>And then I'm screaming. Finally somebody hears me. This is
<v Speaker 1>going on for like a minute that I'm in a.
<v Speaker 2>Cage with a dog ball my god, getting ball, and.
<v Speaker 1>She comes in and couldn't get him off me. And
<v Speaker 1>then a kennel attendant finally hurt us because she's like
<v Speaker 1>blowing her whistle. He comes up, throws a bucket of water.
<v Speaker 1>The dog lets go and they're like get out, So
<v Speaker 1>I go and the dog grabs me again, and I
<v Speaker 1>was like, holy fucking They're like, you need to slide
<v Speaker 1>your foot out of the boot.
<v Speaker 2>Let him have the boot.
<v Speaker 1>And I was like okay, and I slipped my foot
<v Speaker 1>out and I fucking ran and the dog on the
<v Speaker 1>boot and then spat out the boot and he looked
<v Speaker 1>at me and he charged for me again. So then
<v Speaker 1>I hopped into like one of the small little kennels
<v Speaker 1>and I locked.
<v Speaker 2>Myself in a dog cage.
<v Speaker 1>So then he went and started attacking the kennel attendance.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and yeah, I'm assuming he had to be put down,
<v Speaker 2>Yes he did. Yeah.
<v Speaker 1>I mean if he's gonna go like not even a
<v Speaker 1>bit and release, like bite and release, you might be
<v Speaker 1>able to work through that. Well I don't think got
<v Speaker 1>the shelter, they would work through that. But no, no,
<v Speaker 1>that was a.
<v Speaker 2>Full on your mind.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so I got taken to the hospital, stitches, blah,
<v Speaker 1>blah blah blah, a na big old scar on it.
<v Speaker 1>A lot of people think I got burned by a
<v Speaker 1>tailpipe of a motorcycle because it's this like huge huge wow.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah wow. So that happened. And at the same time
<v Speaker 1>I met this guy, and at the same time I
<v Speaker 1>was in dog gromming school and I fell magically in
<v Speaker 1>love and that was it.
<v Speaker 2>But the dog attack did not, like lessen your love
<v Speaker 2>for animals.
<v Speaker 1>No, it definitely made it harder to work with that
<v Speaker 1>specific color and breed of dog.
<v Speaker 2>But I forced myself.
<v Speaker 1>I remember I had this one client come in and
<v Speaker 1>the dog looked identical to the dog, and I know
<v Speaker 1>the ship myself, but I made myself do it. I
<v Speaker 1>pushed myself to get past the anxiety and the fear.
<v Speaker 1>And I know that they can feel your feet, so
<v Speaker 1>it's going to say feel you. Yeah, so yeah, I
<v Speaker 1>did it. Do you know the best way I actually had?
<v Speaker 2>I had an aggressive dog that was more so problem
<v Speaker 2>with never like try to kill a person, but definitely
<v Speaker 2>tried to kill a couple of other dogs, and I,
<v Speaker 2>you know, would have issues with with her and other dogs.
<v Speaker 2>Do you know what is the best way? Do you
<v Speaker 2>know the best way to like get a dog out
<v Speaker 2>of like a dog attack, Because I've heard like people say,
<v Speaker 2>like you shove your finger up their butt. No, you
<v Speaker 2>I've heard other people say, like water.
<v Speaker 1>Why your first that would be if you have if
<v Speaker 1>water is accessible, that would be my first thing. But
<v Speaker 1>you go after the aggressor, you take a leash. So
<v Speaker 1>if your dog is getting attacked, you unhook your dog's
<v Speaker 1>leash so that you can let your dog run. You
<v Speaker 1>take your leash and you use it like a slip knot,
<v Speaker 1>and you put it over the other dog's head, the
<v Speaker 1>aggressor's head, and you choke the dog up, you lift
<v Speaker 1>it up.
<v Speaker 2>Now, what if they're lacked onto your dog and you
<v Speaker 2>can't get it over their head.
<v Speaker 1>Then you need to go from under and you won't
<v Speaker 1>be able to You won't be able to do the
<v Speaker 1>actual like.
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I see what you're sailing actually, and that takes
<v Speaker 2>you can do that right because you're not putting it
<v Speaker 2>out of the head.
<v Speaker 1>Like if you were able to grab the back of
<v Speaker 1>the collar, let's say, and pull the dog up and
<v Speaker 1>you can get it to release for a second, you
<v Speaker 1>could slip it over.
<v Speaker 2>But if you just have a leash, then.
<v Speaker 1>Yes you obviously you know, and poist that dog up
<v Speaker 1>and you choke it out. You cut off the stair supply. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>that is how you stop a dog. Okay, there's all this,
<v Speaker 1>picked them up by their back legs. No, it'll hurt
<v Speaker 1>their acl No, you'll fuck it dog up like that
<v Speaker 1>and it would not even guaranteed to work either. Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>the dog would also turn around and come on you
<v Speaker 1>a case of transfer aggression.
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, you just the neck, so you got to
<v Speaker 2>be able to like lift it up.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>That could be really very hard for a lot of people. Yeaheah.
<v Speaker 1>Otherwise I don't think there's any real good way.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so water is the first option.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and sometimes even dogs won't let go. Me and
<v Speaker 1>my ex we had these two dogs that, oh, they
<v Speaker 1>got in a fight once and it was twenty seven minutes.
<v Speaker 1>They were fighting for twenty seven minutes. We tried to
<v Speaker 1>separate them, We used water, We choked them out.
<v Speaker 2>You can't.
<v Speaker 1>They were big mastives. There there was no there was none.
<v Speaker 1>And then we went to the vet thousands of dollars
<v Speaker 1>later in surgery and they both survived. They just they
<v Speaker 1>gotten a fight over Like I don't know, do.
<v Speaker 2>They normally get along.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I didn't live with them as as I had
<v Speaker 1>already left him by then. Okay, I was at the
<v Speaker 1>house for some reason. Yeah, he had these two big,
<v Speaker 1>huge mast ups like one hundred and thirty pounds and
<v Speaker 1>one hundred pounds.
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, they got a lot.
<v Speaker 1>They were okay, but no, this fight was like, oh
<v Speaker 1>my god, intense man, all right, back to Dick's.
<v Speaker 2>Sorry. I guess it's just like I talk about Dick
<v Speaker 2>so much. I'm like, I'm always like, of a new
<v Speaker 2>topic comes up, I'm like about that, yeah, And I
<v Speaker 2>just know that like the you know, me as like
<v Speaker 2>a dog lover and a dog owner and somebody who's
<v Speaker 2>had problem dogs, Like, I'm always interested to hear like
<v Speaker 2>the best ways to deal with stuff like that, and
<v Speaker 2>I know that there's a lot of people out there
<v Speaker 2>that have the same questions. Oh yeah, for sure, you know, yeah,
<v Speaker 2>dogfights are scary. Yeah yeah, so you you fell in love,
<v Speaker 2>you left the industry, yep, and when did you come back?
<v Speaker 1>Twenty twenty is when I started my news social medias.
<v Speaker 2>Is this like mid pandemic before the pandemic, early pandemic.
<v Speaker 1>I think mid pandemic, so like the spring or the
<v Speaker 1>summer summertime.
<v Speaker 2>I think, Okay, then that was mid pandemic for sure.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.
<v Speaker 2>I think I remember specifically because I got pregnant right
<v Speaker 2>when the pandemic hit. Okay, I got pregnant and then
<v Speaker 2>like I don't know, a month later, like the world
<v Speaker 2>shut down. So that must have been tough. Actually it
<v Speaker 2>was rad really, yes, it was the best time to
<v Speaker 2>get pregnant, best because I got to spend my entire
<v Speaker 2>pregnancy just like chilling. That's true, I guess too, you know,
<v Speaker 2>Yeah that's known. Yeah, okay, so I'll say this. It
<v Speaker 2>was a mixed bag. So I got pregnant in January.
<v Speaker 2>I didn't find out until February that I was pregnant.
<v Speaker 2>But I remember, like because I remember the day. I
<v Speaker 2>just remember, like the day we had sex and I
<v Speaker 2>had one of those trackers and I remember and I
<v Speaker 2>was like really keeping track, but I remember looking at
<v Speaker 2>my phone and it was like this is a very
<v Speaker 2>high likely day to get pregnant. And I was like huh.
<v Speaker 2>And then I went to APN obviously like didn't know
<v Speaker 2>I was pregnant, and then you know, and then I
<v Speaker 2>found out afterwards. But it was great because yeah, you know,
<v Speaker 2>like I was I'm a photographer and I you know,
<v Speaker 2>I mean, you know, like in the industry, our sets
<v Speaker 2>are like twelve hour days. It was like really really
<v Speaker 2>long days and exhausting, and doing that pregnant would have
<v Speaker 2>been so so I guess you're right. What about the
<v Speaker 2>doctor's appointments though, so the very first doctor appointment that
<v Speaker 2>I went to, the first sonogram that I went to,
<v Speaker 2>my husband couldn't come into and that was like devastating
<v Speaker 2>because it's the first time you get to see your
<v Speaker 2>baby and he couldn't be in there, and like I
<v Speaker 2>was really crushed about that. He was on FaceTime, like
<v Speaker 2>out in the hallway and he could see it, but
<v Speaker 2>that was like shitty. But then after that they he
<v Speaker 2>was allowed to They loosened up it a little bit
<v Speaker 2>and he was allowed to come to the rest of them.
<v Speaker 2>That's good. He was able to be there in the
<v Speaker 2>delivery room. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I gave birth in October,
<v Speaker 2>so by then they were okay with it. But before that,
<v Speaker 2>like I know someone who gave Like if you gave
<v Speaker 2>birth early in the pandemic, like around the April, they
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't let you. Yeah, and you had to get COVID tested,
<v Speaker 2>and your partner had to get COVID tested, and your
<v Speaker 2>partner had to wear a mask. And there was a
<v Speaker 2>time earlier than I went in that they would make
<v Speaker 2>you wear a mask. But it was like debatable they weren't.
<v Speaker 2>They hadn't really loosened up the rules yet. Like halfway
<v Speaker 2>through my pregnancy, and I just remember being like, if
<v Speaker 2>you're going to say that my husband can't be in
<v Speaker 2>the delivering room when I give birth, I'm having the
<v Speaker 2>home home birth, Like go fuck yourself, Like I'm not
<v Speaker 2>having a baby, our baby by myself. So but it
<v Speaker 2>ended up being okay and he was there. Good. But
<v Speaker 2>it was also nice because like only he could be there,
<v Speaker 2>which meant that my mother couldn't come crush the birth,
<v Speaker 2>which she very much wanted to do because you know,
<v Speaker 2>she was a midwife fifty years ago and she knows
<v Speaker 2>better than those doctors. I mean, you know my mom,
<v Speaker 2>so you know what she's like. And I was like, sorry, Mom,
<v Speaker 2>the doctor says you can't be there.
<v Speaker 1>I think it's weird to have a whole bunch of
<v Speaker 1>people and people do that's such an intimate experience. Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>like who why would you? Why would I want a
<v Speaker 1>whole bunch of people in there to see what's going on?
<v Speaker 2>Dude. I know some like creators who've had like a
<v Speaker 2>film team in there and had like a makeup artist
<v Speaker 2>for like the post baby pictures. I'm not kidding. You've
<v Speaker 2>seen some models who've got their baby afterwards and like
<v Speaker 2>there's no way they didn't get glam right afterwards, they
<v Speaker 2>got like the lashes. They like, look, no one looks
<v Speaker 2>like that after you've given birth.
<v Speaker 1>Right, Yeah, it's one hell of experience.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah it's yeah, so joke, yeah so but yeah, so
<v Speaker 2>so it was so honestly, it was great because I
<v Speaker 2>got to just like you got to chill, I get
<v Speaker 2>to chill. I got to chill at home. I get
<v Speaker 2>to like enjoy my pregnancy, you know, my husband and
<v Speaker 2>I get to spend a lot of time together. It
<v Speaker 2>was also really cool too because my brother's wife was
<v Speaker 2>pregnant at the same time. She gave birth to her
<v Speaker 2>first kid four months ahead of me, and we actually
<v Speaker 2>all lived together. Okay, yeah, so they lived in the
<v Speaker 2>guest house behind my house. We had like this little pod.
<v Speaker 2>That's cool. We get to let's be pregnant together and
<v Speaker 2>like nice little community. Yeah. So it was actually, like, honestly,
<v Speaker 2>it was great. Yeah, it was really nice. That's good.
<v Speaker 2>So not bad, but okay, So for you, so it's
<v Speaker 2>so you started your only fans back up now only fans, like,
<v Speaker 2>or did you start it for the first time, because
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't really like a thing back when you were
<v Speaker 2>shooting before right, I don't even think it existed.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah. I came back and I was like,
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck is this thing called OnlyFans? And they're
<v Speaker 1>like what I've got shu?
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Wow?
<v Speaker 1>How what a game changer? I know, like serious game changer.
<v Speaker 1>I put so much power into the hands of the talent. Excellent.
<v Speaker 2>It changed a lot of the power dynamics in the
<v Speaker 2>industry and pushed a lot of people out of the
<v Speaker 2>industry who liked to abuse the previous power dynamics in
<v Speaker 2>the industry, if you know what I mean. Yes, yeah,
<v Speaker 2>I think only on this great. Yeah, it really leveled
<v Speaker 2>the playing field. Yeah, and I think it's only been
<v Speaker 2>a positive thing. I know, there was like a lot
<v Speaker 2>of producers that initially complained and some that still do that.
<v Speaker 2>You know, like, oh, we lost a lot of like
<v Speaker 2>the big talent because now they're just doing their only
<v Speaker 2>fans and they're not shooting for companies anymore. And I'm
<v Speaker 2>just like, you know.
<v Speaker 1>What that should speak to you about the experience the
<v Speaker 1>ellent had.
<v Speaker 2>But also like I feel like I would rather only
<v Speaker 2>work with people who want to be on set. If
<v Speaker 2>you don't want to be on set, if you're only
<v Speaker 2>there because you need to make that paycheck. Then like,
<v Speaker 2>if you can make just enough money at home and
<v Speaker 2>you would rather just shoot like stuff in your bedroom
<v Speaker 2>and you're doing great with that, that's fantastic, right, But
<v Speaker 2>there's still a ton of super successful performers that still
<v Speaker 2>do scenes because they love it. Like Angela White's a
<v Speaker 2>perfect example, you know, like clearly, like she's one of
<v Speaker 2>the most successful creators in the industry. She I'm sure
<v Speaker 2>she does great on Only Fans. Oh yeah, I'm sure
<v Speaker 2>she doesn't need to shoot scenes, but she likes she
<v Speaker 2>likes doing, she likes being on set, she likes the crew,
<v Speaker 2>she likes the production, she enjoys the process, and that
<v Speaker 2>makes it enjoyable for everybody. Yes, you know, yep, I
<v Speaker 2>agree with you. So that must have been like a
<v Speaker 2>really interesting shift for you.
<v Speaker 1>It was, yeah, learn it even just to begin with,
<v Speaker 1>learning how to use OnlyFans as a whole. When I
<v Speaker 1>look back at my vault now, I'm like, oh, my
<v Speaker 1>fucking god, you uploaded the same thing like fifty.
<v Speaker 2>Five times because you didn't know that you.
<v Speaker 1>So, yeah, learning how to use the platform was was interesting.
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, it's made everything different. So for me, I
<v Speaker 1>get to definitely use my voice, Like I'm not shooting
<v Speaker 1>for companies right now, but during the year that I did, Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>I got to speak up. I got to say exactly
<v Speaker 1>who I wanted to work with and X Y and
<v Speaker 1>Z and I appreciate that because it's my body and
<v Speaker 1>I want to want to be there. So I want
<v Speaker 1>to give the best scene. I want to do the
<v Speaker 1>best at what I can do, and I need to
<v Speaker 1>I need a few certain things to go my way
<v Speaker 1>so that I can be that.
<v Speaker 2>You've said before that you're not as vanilla as you
<v Speaker 2>used to be. What does that mean means?
<v Speaker 1>I guess I was just such a prude when I
<v Speaker 1>came in and I had these ideas about things.
<v Speaker 2>I was curious.
<v Speaker 1>I had judgments, and I had judgments of things I
<v Speaker 1>was curious about, but I was scared of. And yeah,
<v Speaker 1>I've learned, And no, I think I've just evolved. Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>I've changed, I've evolved. I really enjoy femdom Okay, yeah,
<v Speaker 1>I would love to be a dominat trix.
<v Speaker 2>It was stopping you. I don't know. I'm too busy,
<v Speaker 2>fair enough.
<v Speaker 1>I would need to learn and I live pretty far
<v Speaker 1>and I don't think, well, I'm sure, there's a dungeon
<v Speaker 1>nearby something.
<v Speaker 2>So there is a school for dominatrixes. And actually she
<v Speaker 2>came on my podcast, Mistress Domiani Chi. Really yes, and
<v Speaker 2>Rachel Steele took her course and she came on my
<v Speaker 2>podcast and she talked about the course and she said
<v Speaker 2>it was amazing. Really yes, So she runs a school
<v Speaker 2>for dominatrixes that would be out here in La Huh.
<v Speaker 2>I'll send you her info. Okay, Okay, yeah, I like
<v Speaker 2>that stuff. Yeah, I could see I could see you
<v Speaker 2>being good at that.
<v Speaker 1>It's yes, I like holding that power.
<v Speaker 2>Now you're back from veterinary school, is that right? Yes? Okay.
<v Speaker 1>So I finally decided that I'm going to do it
<v Speaker 1>well because my alash girl was like, oh, you can
<v Speaker 1>get your bachelor's online. I was like, wait, what, I
<v Speaker 1>can get my bachelor's online nowadays?
<v Speaker 2>And she said yes.
<v Speaker 1>I was like, fuck, sign me up then, because I
<v Speaker 1>can't go to a school. It's not with the grooming
<v Speaker 1>company and the family life and the fucking zoo that
<v Speaker 1>I have at my house in taking care of the house.
<v Speaker 2>It's just I can't go to.
<v Speaker 1>School plus pay the bills plus shoot, like I can't
<v Speaker 1>do it all right, So yeah, but now I am
<v Speaker 1>doing it just online and it's a lot.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, just as hard as you remembered it would be
<v Speaker 2>back in high school. Yes, yes, yes, it's yeah. I'm
<v Speaker 2>in calculus right now. Oh god, I know that's a
<v Speaker 2>dirty it's really bad. Where are you planning to like
<v Speaker 2>finish your degree, quit adult and become a veterinarian? Is
<v Speaker 2>that like the path? Are you just going to kind.
<v Speaker 1>Of see I'm just going to see where things go. Okay,
<v Speaker 1>and I want to finish school, but I mean that's
<v Speaker 1>a long process, Like we're talking seven years. So yeah,
<v Speaker 1>and so I'll be here. I'll still do the grooming thing.
<v Speaker 2>My hope is.
<v Speaker 1>Once I finish that school. Yes, I want to be
<v Speaker 1>a veterinarian. I want to use my platforms to spread
<v Speaker 1>awareness and goodness and raise money and I want to help.
<v Speaker 1>I want I think that all space and neators should
<v Speaker 1>be free. I think I should be paid for by
<v Speaker 1>the government. I got some plans.
<v Speaker 2>I disagree with you at all.
<v Speaker 1>We have a huge animal crisis going on, and the
<v Speaker 1>cost of space and neuters the majority of people can't
<v Speaker 1>afford it. You know, the majority of people aren't making
<v Speaker 1>ten grand a months they're not making you know, like, yeah,
<v Speaker 1>so my friend called me the other day. Actually, the
<v Speaker 1>guy from the bed hospital with the puppy, he got
<v Speaker 1>a new puppy and just so funny that he moved
<v Speaker 1>out here.
<v Speaker 2>Too interesting, weird.
<v Speaker 1>He's like, Oh, it's gonna cost me like twelve hundred
<v Speaker 1>dollars so new or my maltee. I'm like, that's that's wild,
<v Speaker 1>Like people can't afford that, and hence why we have
<v Speaker 1>an animal.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, price, what's going on? Yeah?
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, and I would like we'll see, I don't know,
<v Speaker 1>we'll see, We'll see how I look. We'll see, because
<v Speaker 1>you know, that's I'm already forty three. So by the
<v Speaker 1>time I finished school, let's say I'm fifty, and what
<v Speaker 1>if I go downhill really quickly, I don't know.
<v Speaker 2>You never know how things are gonna go. So I
<v Speaker 2>don't know. I mean, you know, I was like the
<v Speaker 2>number one search term and adult, right is it really?
<v Speaker 2>No shit, that's the biggest niche really, yes, it's sport
<v Speaker 2>to God or were the best all that experience, you
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean?
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm way better now than I was one hundred
<v Speaker 1>years ago. Way better, Yeah, way better. I mean, I
<v Speaker 1>know my shit now.
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I think you're going to be fine. I
<v Speaker 2>think you can stay in as long as you want.
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I just want to do what I want to do, right,
<v Speaker 1>and I want to do everything I want to do. Yes,
<v Speaker 1>so that's the plan. I'll probably start Mobile Veterinary Hospital, okay, Yeah,
<v Speaker 1>so that I can go around to people help them
<v Speaker 1>that I can do mobile cat, Earth, cat Neuter and space.
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm. I love that. All right, Well, thank you
<v Speaker 2>so much for coming on. I know that we do
<v Speaker 2>actually have some more questions for you from our Patreon members,
<v Speaker 2>which we are going to do in a separate segment.
<v Speaker 2>Is there anything else that you have planned for this
<v Speaker 2>year that people should be looking out for or do
<v Speaker 2>you want to just give them a shout out on
<v Speaker 2>your socials let people know where they should follow you
<v Speaker 2>and they can kind of keep track of what's to come.
<v Speaker 1>Yes, so everyone can follow me on Instagram, which is
<v Speaker 1>copri Kivani dot ig. My TikTok has more like my
<v Speaker 1>personal day to day okay, data day, bullshit, me complaining
<v Speaker 1>about Calculus that Rikavani dot TikTok. And then my Twitter
<v Speaker 1>is where I promote my scenes. So I suppose that
<v Speaker 1>would be the one.
<v Speaker 2>Okay, right, or they could just follow you on all
<v Speaker 2>my ex my ex or all of them.
<v Speaker 1>Yes, that's even better.
<v Speaker 2>That's my ex, the Kubri Kavanni, the Carikavanni. Yes, okay,
<v Speaker 2>got it. And then of course you're only fans.
<v Speaker 1>Not only fans which is just Abriakavoni.
<v Speaker 2>Okay, all right, And then you guys of course can
<v Speaker 2>follow me at Holly Randall on Twitter and on x
<v Speaker 2>Go to Patreon dot com, slash Holly Randall and filter
<v Speaker 2>to get access to these shows streamed live. The bonus
<v Speaker 2>Q and A is like we're about to do now
<v Speaker 2>and so much more. Go to Holly links dot com
<v Speaker 2>for access to all of my platforms. Thank you guys
<v Speaker 2>so much for watching, and I will see you guys
<v Speaker 2>next week