The Way Love Goes w/ Brat + Judy

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Calling all my Sweetish to the forefront. I'm your host, Christo and this is the Keep It Positive, Sweetish Show. Welcome to the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show, the place where we he'll grow and learn together. Today's guests are The Bratt and Judy. The Brat and Judy are a couple people have grown to love watching, but today's conversation is about what it takes to happiness on purpose. We're talking love, partnership, accountability, and everyday choices that protect home. Welcome to the Kid's Sofa, The Bratt and Judy. Hey, ladies, No, I love that we need the energy. That's y'all brought good energy for the moment y'all walked in, So yes, I appreciate it. I have been admirers and fans of y'all's first since y'all got together, and then Brat like since I was a kid, like I don't know if I told you this, and I was like, you know, you meet somebody like did I say that out loud? I think when I met y'all Doller's house, I was like, I used to write your rap lyrics down on papers and then like I was.

00:01:03
Speaker 2: Like, Crystal, what, No, it's Okay, I appreciate that.

00:01:08
Speaker 1: Weird Okay, didn't Okay, you know, like after you play something, you're like, was that too much? No, No, you.

00:01:13
Speaker 2: Don't bother me at all. I appreciate it.

00:01:14
Speaker 1: No, yes, no, It's.

00:01:17
Speaker 3: Like we have been following each other for a long time and finally got to put you.

00:01:19
Speaker 1: Know exactly, No, for sure, Judy, you have grown a multi billion dollar company empire from your salon roots.

00:01:28
Speaker 3: Speak that into existence. You said, multi billion.

00:01:31
Speaker 1: That's a billion a million, you said, that's what gods, Yeah, you said it.

00:01:37
Speaker 3: That's what we're doing.

00:01:38
Speaker 1: That's what you're doing.

00:01:39
Speaker 3: And I believe it.

00:01:40
Speaker 1: Touch and agree, Touch and agree, all right, I believe in that power of tongue. But you have done so much and I've watched you grow so inspired by everything that you do, like your drops, every literally your drops and your drops. Everything is so creative and I love everything you all do together. Brad, you have had such a legacy from starting on very young rapping and just so so deaf that was like the and still is holding its name to this day. And everything that you have done and how you evolved and grown over the years is just outstanding and admirable.

00:02:15
Speaker 2: Thank you so much.

00:02:16
Speaker 1: No, seriously, thank y'all vote for taking the time. When I got the call and it's like, would you want to I'm like, what I want to?

00:02:21
Speaker 2: Yes?

00:02:21
Speaker 1: I love him, so thank you so much, thank you. Yes, No, you guys have y'all have been very intentional and like out with your relationship and with everything you have going on. I feel like this season has been a little more quiet. Has that been intentional?

00:02:39
Speaker 3: I feel like motherhood keeps us quite busy, and then there is a sense of privacy that we want to have with our child. We shared him with the world, but then you know, once once he got here and we started. You know, my wife is the first time yes, so just extra protective, extra everything. So I try to make time away from social media a lot to be more present. And she just don't give it about social media at all anyway, So if I'm not pushing it, it's the true right she you know, she's in love with being a mom.

00:03:21
Speaker 1: I love that. Let's talk about that first time mom. Yeah, and even the process of becoming a mom, because I think we're around the same How are you? Is it public? How are yeah? So we're about the same age. So for me, I just went to the doctor feeling like I've waited too late to freeze my eggs. Talk about that journey of actually having a baby later on in life.

00:03:43
Speaker 2: Oh man, Well, I didn't realize.

00:03:46
Speaker 4: That your eggs go south after like forty maybe even sooner, some people even sooner. So once I realized that, I was like, oh no. But then my wife has some good old eggs up in there, so it's like, okay, we're gonna get some of them. So, you know, we were able to get some of her eggs extracted. But she went through a horrible process. But we can elaborate on that, you know, later. But we got her eggs extracted. I was able to be the oven and I was able to carry it. You know, I got examined and all that to make sure I was good and I was able to carry.

00:04:22
Speaker 2: At first, I was like carry, I'm not carrying. I don't look carried. I thought what she said.

00:04:29
Speaker 3: What she said was, oh God, beautiful, you should do it because it's gonna slide right out since you had other children. But that's the exact word. I mean you. And she put this on People TV. She said that on television.

00:04:43
Speaker 4: I did say that, but it means that your body has had three children already, so it knows how to open and close and form.

00:04:52
Speaker 3: That ain't what she said said, It just.

00:04:56
Speaker 2: Slide right out.

00:04:56
Speaker 4: I shouldn't have opposed to somebody who's never had a child before.

00:05:01
Speaker 3: And not only that, but she is, you know, she's it's hard exterior, but she's the most nurturing person I ever met my whole time. Wow, So I knew that mother. I knew that not only motherhood would be greatful her, but I knew the experience of pregnancy she would enjoy every moment of it.

00:05:17
Speaker 1: And she did. Wow, she did.

00:05:19
Speaker 3: She I'm talking you know, I share. I documented the moment when she first felt it moving, and I mean she was just crying and embracing all the parts of it she enjoyed.

00:05:31
Speaker 1: Like yeah, no, that's beautiful. And like, Brad, you are You're known for your hard, tough exterior, but now I see a softer side of you. Has motherhood brought out that side in you?

00:05:42
Speaker 2: Absolutely? I think it's brought it out more.

00:05:45
Speaker 4: And like doing our show and stuff, having to show so much vulnerability like that, that made me probably like a little softer publicly, I've always been kind of like a cream puffin side, but I have preferred to keep it hid until she came along and made it all like come out. And then after having our son, everything make me cry. It's like I'm extra emotional about every especially when I look at him. Any little thing he does, it's just like I'm crying or I'm.

00:06:13
Speaker 3: Like, oh my god, it's so adorable.

00:06:15
Speaker 4: Like you know, you just are so proud of every little thing, and you know, yeah, I'm a cream puff when it comes to him.

00:06:21
Speaker 2: I used to like to keep it under wraps, but now I don't care.

00:06:24
Speaker 4: I'm old enough to be like, you know, not caring about what people think of me or any of that stuff.

00:06:29
Speaker 1: Right, And was that part of like the persona as an artist and she thought you had to keep up?

00:06:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely absolutely. I was always taught.

00:06:36
Speaker 4: My grandmother actually taught me, you know, you don't show them your weakness. Come on and showed them your weakness. Then they play on that and then pull on your heart strings. So I was, you know, taught to be a tough little kid growing up in Chicago. Plus I had to fight, you know, I had to fight.

00:06:53
Speaker 1: I've heard Chicago can be a place that really makes you tough for sure, Judy. Where are you from? Originally New Orleans? It was okay, so that's another city where like you gotta know, I'm good.

00:07:05
Speaker 3: Well, I didn't have to fight growing up, I had my first like I had three children before the age of nineteen. But you know, so I was into other stuff.

00:07:14
Speaker 1: So when did you get into the hair business and like start, when did you start doing hair and know that that was a skill that you had.

00:07:20
Speaker 3: I started doing hair like when I was five, Like, you know, I used to do My mom always tells the story, like I used to She used to buy me Barbie dolls, and I used to just try to cut their hair and give them a little bob and then cut a little bit short until they ball head, and then it was wound up with another you know, I had to get another Barbie doll. And then I used to sit on my dad's back and just put borrettel over his head. So I used to sneak clients and also used to sneak my friends in from school to do their hair when my parents were at work.

00:07:47
Speaker 1: Wow, this is something that was just in you. Yeah, when did you know that you had something to create? KLAIDI scope.

00:07:54
Speaker 3: I didn't, really, I didn't. I mean I liked doing hair, I know, I always wanted my own salon. When I got my own salon, I used to like buy products from somebody that was always coming to sell products. You know, back in the day, they used to have an open floor salon you know where, and then people used to come in selling CDs, shirts, food, and so this guy used to come in selling hair products all the time, and he was like, you should, you should make your own and I'm like, I don't want to do that. I'm charging two hundred fifty dollars for sewing. I don't want to sell no five dollars sprints. But he talked me into it, and it just so happened. On one of my clients cheated on me for another hairstylist, and she came back with a boss by the middle of head, so I had to grow her head to the middle of her back. So, even though it wasn't my fault, I then felt compelled to tell the guy that had asked me that, well, can we figure out something for this, and so that actually birthed drops.

00:08:50
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, well thank you for the girl to cheat it, because we wouldn't listen. You know, I love that. Recently you talked about the importance of boundaries and self awareness. What is it that made you say, like now you talk about being more private and protecting home. What is it that really made you decide that you wanted to just set boundaries and have more something. So I think and being with my beautiful When I first Metfulness, she was really reserved, and I've always been one hundred percent open, and I feel like us coming together it's me understanding my transparency is my transparency, and her transparency it's her transparency.

00:09:36
Speaker 3: So even though we share a child, I also have one hundred percent for respect for what she feels is appropriate to share and not share with our child. So then it's okay, Yes we are transparent, but then there are sometimes where we just need to be moms. You know. I like content creation. That's something that I enjoy doing, whether it's the big cameras or whether it's just us doing a quick little TikTok. Right, she doesn't necessarily I'm not gonna say she hates it, but she doesn't like it as much. She doesn't participate in it as much. So it's finding the middle ground.

00:10:09
Speaker 1: Of what works best for us, like when.

00:10:11
Speaker 3: We do our content together outside of it feeling like pulling tea sometimes. Well, okay, so I could get probably two three hours out of that's good. But that if my son don't want to do it, we don't make him do it. We don't don't like it. If he looks like he's in the mood, he's not gonna want to do nothing, He's not going to be in it. I do feel a little sense of responsibility though, since we've given people a peep into our life to give them some updates, but not as much as I would do with our life and our relationship for sure.

00:10:42
Speaker 1: No, I tetally you understand that, Brad. You have talked about spending years in survival mode, which is something that I think a lot of people can attest to, especially at the way the world is now, Like every time you turn around, it's something, but like we all feel a sense of like survival and like I gotta make it. I gotta make it from protecting yourself and staying guarded. When did you realize that you didn't have to be in survival mode anymore.

00:11:08
Speaker 4: That's a great question, because I think I was in survival mode until I'm at beautiful. Wow, it's been survival mode since twenty just before twenty nineteen.

00:11:20
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty nineteen was the Essence Fest.

00:11:24
Speaker 1: Is that when y'all met.

00:11:25
Speaker 2: We met in twenty eighteen. Help me out, beautiful.

00:11:32
Speaker 3: Let's see how many years is it this year.

00:11:35
Speaker 2: Of being together? I think five? Is it five or six?

00:11:40
Speaker 3: I moved to Atlanta twenty nineteen, so it might have been twenty eighteen.

00:11:45
Speaker 4: Yeah. So my thing was I was always guarded. I didn't want people in my business. You know, as an artist, we're told to well back then, you didn't want people to know you in a relationship, right if that could ruin your record safe, So everything stayed private. I was definitely still in the closet, so I definitely wasn't telling that, let alone talk about any relationship. But it was Essence Festival twenty nineteen, and for the first time I felt like I didn't care what anybody said, and the love that I felt from her, I just wanted everybody to know.

00:12:22
Speaker 2: You know, I wanted to hold her hand.

00:12:24
Speaker 4: I wanted to just be close to it, and I have never did that in my entire life.

00:12:30
Speaker 1: We all were like whoa.

00:12:32
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:12:32
Speaker 4: We were at the Essence Festival and I grabbed her hand and my whole team is like, the what is going on? So they all grabbed each other's hands, so it looked like we were all just walking together like you would walk through a club or a crowded room. And I'm like, no, you know, like, let my hand go. I want to hold her hand. And I was just all up close to it. My team was looking like.

00:12:56
Speaker 3: I said on her now closed to go to our play. I was like, because I didn't know that this was We're not supposed.

00:13:01
Speaker 2: To be doing it. They lost their minds.

00:13:03
Speaker 4: They were like, what are you doing? I'm like, I don't care anymore. I was like, I this is who I'm feeling right now. And I'm like, and I want the world to know I don't care. I want to be close to her. I want to touch her. I want to Oh. I just wanted to be all up underneath her and I that was the first time at Essence Fast twenty nineteen that I didn't care.

00:13:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, what did that feel like? Just to have that freedom?

00:13:24
Speaker 2: It felt so good.

00:13:26
Speaker 4: It felt good to not care, you know, and just be around somebody that made you just want to do that, you know what I'm saying, not want to hide them. And she was already kind of like she wasn't like a private person like that. I didn't realize that. You know, she was all on social media and stuff with her different partners, you know before before before me. Yeah, I didn't scroll down that far. I was only into her. So I was only into the you know, the callistope stuff because I was doing promo for you.

00:13:58
Speaker 3: They would have been deleted. You wouldn't have seen them. What you mean, when we were dating, you wouldn't have seen them because they would have they were to get you get deleted. What is that? You don't stay on the page from your phone though, don't start a girl.

00:14:12
Speaker 1: That's what we're doing today.

00:14:14
Speaker 4: This is the same spaced Yeah, this is just the way love goes list.

00:14:19
Speaker 3: Okay, let me explain that.

00:14:21
Speaker 2: Don't start put it out there.

00:14:22
Speaker 3: I have if you get my phone, it don't matter one hundred and like seventy thousand pieces of content, literally like it's it's one hundred yeah, one hundred and forty four thousand people. Oh I see it.

00:14:37
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:14:39
Speaker 3: She she went in my phone and she found something that I forgot was in there.

00:14:42
Speaker 4: Yeah, like it's buried on the content in the relationship. You scroll, you scroll and you delete. You scroll, you scroll from.

00:14:50
Speaker 2: The time you met that person to the time you still with them. You scroll and.

00:14:54
Speaker 1: You delete words. Otherwise, scroll and aleag and delete. You about the way love goes? I want to get into it. You guys have a new book that's coming out in February. What's the exact release date? February third, February, let's go. I'm excited. Happiness is framed as something you pursue, not something that just happens. What sparked the idea to say, Hey, beautiful, we need to write a book.

00:15:21
Speaker 2: Her.

00:15:23
Speaker 1: It's like, so you're in the brains of like the business, like and the ideas.

00:15:26
Speaker 2: Yes.

00:15:27
Speaker 4: Yes, February twenty third is a day after our anniversary.

00:15:32
Speaker 3: I get a second on the third.

00:15:37
Speaker 2: Oh, come out on the third. You're right, Okay, So I feel like.

00:15:42
Speaker 3: There's so much potential, especially when you have a likeness. You have people that follow you, you have people that want to know more, People want to sow into your life, you know what I'm saying, And not like pastor church wise, but people want to support you in anything that you're doing like my wife as an artists like being an artist. No, we about to sell hair products, we're about to sell books, were about to do a show. And because I felt like she didn't understand her fullest potential, we're working. I mean we were together and I was like, are you much money sitting right?

00:16:18
Speaker 1: And we don't leave money on the table.

00:16:20
Speaker 3: Right at the table and not anything that goes against your morals or you know, super extra hard work. But why don't we just do why don't we just do this?

00:16:28
Speaker 1: Yeah? I love that? So what are some of the principles that we're touching on? And the way love goes we talked about, I guess.

00:16:41
Speaker 3: Because celebrity or not, everybody has it ups and their down absolutely, and we gotta get the real absolutely, So relationships, you're gonna argue, you're gonna disagree, you're gonna find your way back though. I think that's the key. And also knowing that it's not like a lot of people think it's fifty to fifty, but it's like eighty twenty in some areas, it's ninety ten in some areas. It might be fifty to fifty in some but it's not that And it's it's almost like we try to give people different tibits of make what make what's your thing is your thing? Like lean into the thing that's yours, and don't try to replicate or duplicate something else that you see whatever, whatever your person is strong in, let them lead in that whatever whatever you know that you know what I'm saying, you might be weakened. It's okay to let them lead in that thing. And you don't have to fight over like the power position.

00:17:36
Speaker 2: Right.

00:17:36
Speaker 1: I love the Brad. Was there anything that you were like, we need to put this in the book, or that you really want to talk about or you don't.

00:17:43
Speaker 4: I mean we kind of go toe to toe in the book. We kind of get into it a little bit. I mean we were having in writing the book, we were having like conversations and recording them about real life situations and things that happen and experiences.

00:17:57
Speaker 3: Because you don't see it the right way, you know.

00:17:59
Speaker 2: You don't see it the right way way.

00:18:00
Speaker 4: I mean she has looked at my phone and saw something I had in my phone a text, and threw my phone across the room. And you know, we we have real life situations. This is a real relationship.

00:18:10
Speaker 3: You know, if your ex told their I mean, if your current situation told their EGX, oh your feet are pretty, or they sent the picture of their feet in like, oh that's cute.

00:18:19
Speaker 4: What it was a harmless compliment, Like it wasn't like I was salivating over their toes and nothing.

00:18:29
Speaker 2: It was just just forget it. I don't even want to see.

00:18:31
Speaker 1: But this is like the type of things we talking about conflict results. How do we resolve that?

00:18:37
Speaker 3: You get your phone throwed across the phone, that's how you resolve it. Break.

00:18:41
Speaker 2: That wasn't a good reaction.

00:18:43
Speaker 4: That's an example of a bad reaction right there. It didn't have to She ain't have to break my phone, because then that caused more issues. I had to go get a new phone, and I felt really bad over a simple compliment instead of us just sitting down talking like we kind of know how to do now.

00:18:59
Speaker 2: That was early on in the relationship.

00:19:01
Speaker 4: She had to break my phone because then I could have turned around and like, you broke my phone, I'm gonna break your phone, And that doesn't resolve things, you know what I'm saying. But I just let her have her little funky attitude and be mad about it, and then we got over it, you know, after a few days of her not talking to me, which I hate. I do not think you should go to being mad with the person you love.

00:19:20
Speaker 2: You just fall right. All sleep well, so eat some food and go to sleep, and all.

00:19:25
Speaker 3: Fairness, all fairness. Being a person that has to carry as much as I do, sometimes I have to turn off. It's either that or the worries of the world will overtake me. And I'm not gonna want to do any of this anymore, you know, not life, but just all of it, like that business, all of that. There's so many different things that have to be carried as like the CEO of a business, as a person that is a provider for you know, different layers of their family. It's like, okay, so I know we're going through this, let me put this on in the bag for right now, so I can go to sleep, because because then as soon as I open that Pandora's box, it's all coming in. And also when it comes to a conflict resolution, I don't I don't respond immediately because I know I'm gonna say something I shouldn't, So I prefer to take a hour or two or a walk or something because I don't I don't want to say something that I don't mean because I'm mad right.

00:20:31
Speaker 1: To know that? Yeah, exactly, And that's smart because all happen.

00:20:35
Speaker 4: When do you bring it back up? When is it time to discuss it?

00:20:40
Speaker 2: Is there time? Do you carve out time?

00:20:43
Speaker 4: Or then does your schedule get a little bit more booked and busy earth?

00:20:48
Speaker 3: I think we figured it out. I think so. Her thing is she wants to talk about it right there. My thing is it might be a week later.

00:20:56
Speaker 2: That's a long time.

00:20:57
Speaker 1: There is a lot of time, Jerry.

00:20:59
Speaker 3: But we stay mad still because she'll say, oh, so we're not gonna talk about it, and we kind of move past it, like I try to get positive conversations going, and then when we finally talk about it, neither one of us are heated.

00:21:14
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I can't.

00:21:16
Speaker 2: For the week.

00:21:17
Speaker 3: This is what you made me feel like in that moment. This is what you made me feel like in that moment, And I feel like it's more level headed conversation that can be progressive versus.

00:21:28
Speaker 1: The night that in heaven. And I'm like, I need a minute, Yeah, but let me let me challenge you on this. Jud And you too, Brad, Like if either one you make each other mad, it doesn't have to be resolved immediately before, but before you go to bed. I'm mad at you, but I love you, so at least you go to bed. And it's like, you know what I'm saying. So because if my mom.

00:21:46
Speaker 4: She won't say, she ain't the one that's gonna say she will take us to sleep, turn over you like you're gonna you're gonna sleep good like that, and we're going through this.

00:21:59
Speaker 2: I'm just sitting there like, really.

00:22:02
Speaker 3: I accept your challenge.

00:22:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, because my mom did always teach me that never go to bed angry because the worst it is not promising. People are going just like that, not to get too deep. But that's something she always taught me, and I held on to that because I'm like, dang, like, you're right, how would I feel if tomorrow woke up and you didn't wake up with me? I would be crushed? So I always think about that. No matter nothing is that deep. You know what I'm saying. I love you, but we're gonna figure this out later. I'm still mad, you know, right, So times with y'all, Yeah.

00:22:31
Speaker 3: She could do that. She is the one oh, so you ain't gonna say nothing. Well, I love you too.

00:22:37
Speaker 1: Then, so she is already you probably like roll your eyes and turn around, be like no.

00:22:43
Speaker 3: I'm probably sleep.

00:22:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, she probably sleep.

00:22:46
Speaker 3: And it's not that I don't care. It's not I comes off as that sometimes and I'm sorry that it does. It is literally me going into what you just say, almost survival mom was going into Okay, let's focus on the good, yeah, because we don't need the bad to come crumbling in something.

00:23:03
Speaker 1: I want to ask both of you, what is something that you both have learned about love as adults that you wish you had to learn earlier in life.

00:23:13
Speaker 3: I think for me learning that understanding your love language is one thing, but understanding your partner's love language is another. Because although I'm a gift giver, she prefers acts of service. So I don't give a how much I give to her. She would just want my time. She would just want me to, you know, like take the initiative to take her out on a date. And a day could be in our kitchen and I cooked us some spaghetti, and I've made time, and I put a candle up about the bundley I bought her that none of that, but me what But that's what I learned. I had to learn that even though gift given is a thing for me and it makes my heart smile and that's how I show love, how does she interpret or receive loss?

00:24:10
Speaker 1: That's so good and that's real? What about you, Brad? What is something that you've learned about love that you wish you had to learn earlier?

00:24:16
Speaker 4: On HMM, I would say to really listen to your partner instead of answering just to have an answer or reply, like, really listen to what they're saying, and try to understand where they're coming from so you can kind of meet them and kind of put yourself into the situation where they're coming from, opposed to just talking to respond. And I'm used to kind of being a little combative and like, come on, we're gonna go toe to toe.

00:24:55
Speaker 2: And that's just not her thing, so you know, and sometimes she'll say, what you're listening, but you're you're responding to.

00:25:03
Speaker 3: What You're listening to respond because you that means you haven't heard what I said. I'm trying to get you to receive it and not in a bad way, but you're listening to respond. Like you literally listen to defend yourself right versus understanding.

00:25:20
Speaker 1: I think a lot of us are guilty of that. I'll definitely been that person. I'm trying to right. You ain't gonna make me look bad. That's not what I meant. I'm saying, you know, yeah, exactly, like yeah, but you have to have a little more patience too. I'm trying you have to have a little more patience.

00:25:40
Speaker 2: With me when it comes to that.

00:25:44
Speaker 4: Should you be ready to give up, get out the car, walk out the room, slam the door, and in the conversation and it just shouldn't end like that, I don't think so. You should work on your patience as I still work on my other stuff too.

00:25:56
Speaker 1: This is so good. I feel like we're like in therapy right now, this too.

00:26:02
Speaker 3: And I think that's another thing is love is like it's not a destination. It's like you have to work on it every day. Yeah, and you have to be committed to it, and it will be difficult. Sometimes it will feel like the best thing ever, and then it will feel like.

00:26:16
Speaker 2: You better not say the worst thing ever.

00:26:18
Speaker 3: No, no, not the worst thing ever. But I was I was making a face, Okay, So it feels like, you know, not today. You know.

00:26:28
Speaker 1: Y'all comedy, y'all are so fun. That's all that's you.

00:26:34
Speaker 3: I'd just be going off her.

00:26:35
Speaker 2: Boy, girl, that is a lot. You are hilarious, No.

00:26:38
Speaker 1: Seriously, so funny. I want to ask you in writing this book, were there any private moments that you had a challenge with actually putting it into the book where you're like, I don't know if I want to share this or do you guys feel like pretty much open book, literally open book.

00:26:51
Speaker 3: You know what's crazy. I thought she would be a little bit more private. She went to talking about our sex life, and I was like, you, we're talking about this because she's she's super proud when it comes to stuff like that. She like, I'm a I'm a public displays of affection. I'm all of that. Sh It's real, you know girl. When she was I said, so you're gonna telling people that? So I was surprised. So I don't think when it came to the thing that I.

00:27:18
Speaker 1: Thought, yeah, you know, it wasn't that girl. She's a girl.

00:27:22
Speaker 3: I didn't even understand who this woman was when she was doing this book.

00:27:26
Speaker 2: Really on that part, I was like, I'm surprised.

00:27:29
Speaker 3: Girl.

00:27:30
Speaker 4: You had gave up so much information. I felt like I wasn't giving up enough, so you had to step up. Yeah, I had to step my game up to keep up with you, girl.

00:27:38
Speaker 3: But you and your exes of you.

00:27:40
Speaker 2: And yours, honey, yours? Uh uh.

00:27:46
Speaker 3: The difference is mine were gone prior to us starting to date. She was still clearing her path, so they had some remnants and lingering.

00:27:56
Speaker 1: That's fair.

00:27:58
Speaker 2: You're you're accurate.

00:28:01
Speaker 3: See what I talk about the pretty feet, I mean, I'm the bread I had some. I did say you didn't. I should have been gone before you got one, That's true.

00:28:08
Speaker 4: But I didn't know I was gonna fall in love with you. I ain't know it was gonna escalate to what it escalated to. And I was gonna be spending the night at your condo and all of that stuff. I ain't know I was gonna go in the door and never want to leave. And that's what happened. So I was like, I got some cleaning up to do. And it took a while. It took a while. There was children involved. I had to you know, it just took more time than I wanted it to take. You because of course, I wanted to clear everything out for our situation, but it didn't happen quite like that.

00:28:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, she also didn't articulate that.

00:28:39
Speaker 4: I was scared to articulate them because I didn't want to lose her, because you know, you tell somebody, well, you know, I kind of got a situation that'd be like, oh, well, I'm out picture situation.

00:28:48
Speaker 2: I'm gonna holler at.

00:28:48
Speaker 1: You right because I'm doing I found out.

00:28:50
Speaker 3: I told her. I said, I'm gonna give you a little bit of time. She did give you a little bit of time, you better get together.

00:28:55
Speaker 2: And what you said was you should have got rid of your other.

00:28:59
Speaker 4: Girl and before you got another one and mushed me and got out of my truck. I was like, but the good part is that she didn't leave me.

00:29:15
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, because that's what I was scared of.

00:29:17
Speaker 4: I was like, I'm gonna lose her soon as she finds I'm gonna lose her.

00:29:21
Speaker 2: And I didn't.

00:29:23
Speaker 1: Oh, here we are, and here we are a child later, right Exactly, a lot of people struggle keeping their identity when they're in relationships. You kind of lose yourself in each other. How have you both been able to continue to keep your identity, but you're still lost in each other. Like I can tell the way y'all walk in and look at each other. It's like I just love her, but you both still stand on your own power. Please, I advocate for her to keep her.

00:29:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, what you mean, that's a bad way because motherhood has consumed her so much. That's what she is. Being a girlfriend first and being a wife consumed her so much. Like I told her recently, leave take three days for yourself. I need you because I do that, I volunteer. I'm just let you know in about a couple of weeks and she'll she'll take me to the place like I'm not trying to get away from my family, but sometimes you need time away. And I was just telling her to leave, even down to you know, maybe go somewhere with your friends. And not that I'm saying get out, but I also I've been the person that's lost myself in somebody else or lost myself in a situation and I look back years later regret it. And what I said, what I never want her to do is feel like she's been everything to me, but you know, disregarded herself because now if we if we're about to eat lunch, and she hate when I say this, if we're about to eat lunch, and it's like, okay, well what do you want to eat? Whatever you want? And I'm like, no, what do you want? Whatever you want? No, what do you you want?

00:30:58
Speaker 4: Anything from any place? That She too, just I don't think that's a bad thing.

00:31:02
Speaker 3: It's not. So even down to when we were talking about like I was talking about life plans, I'm like, okay, you know the success of the business, we have, all of this, all of this, you know money we're making, and you know what do you see yourself doing? Do you want to invest in this? Do you want to do this? Do you want to do that? Do you want to do this? And she's like I'm happy like this, And I'm like, no, we need to figure out what you want being a planner. But just it's like what do you want.

00:31:29
Speaker 2: To do it?

00:31:30
Speaker 1: But okay, yeah, I think.

00:31:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do that.

00:31:34
Speaker 1: I like that because I feel like if everybody was a judy, you know what I'm saying, Like, it's like everybody can't be as ambitious as you are. Like you are highly ambitious, Holly, you have the vision, you know. And then there are some people like I've dated a person like you, Brad, where he was just like I'm okay with him? Like how are you okay with? Just like we need to be So I'm like you, so I get it, but I feel like kind of each other.

00:31:55
Speaker 3: So do you want? You want to go to Paris for a month? Do you want to? But she she's done a lot of that, you know, So it's like, okay, So she's done that, she's done that. She's just like, I'm okay, No, we got stuff to do. What do you want to do?

00:32:09
Speaker 4: Tell me whatever you want to do. I'm gain whatever you want to do. I'm gonna support it. Let's do it, and I'm gonna have fun doing it. I'm gonna live my life just like that and enjoy it no matter what we do. As long as we together with our family and everybody's good, all the people we bless and help and take care of that warms our hearts and our souls and our spirits. And as long as you could keep being Judy Clause and Judy this and and all this stuff, and I could keep being Brad and getting loved on and loving on people like that's all I need. I live day to day. Tomorrow is not promised. I don't know, no plan. I don't give what's going on. As long as we happy alive together and we got God and that's it.

00:32:47
Speaker 1: Were good, that's beautiful. I love that. I love it, and I think y'all balance each other out. I think it's perfect. And you just gotta be like, Okay, five years.

00:32:57
Speaker 2: From now, what do you want to be doing?

00:32:58
Speaker 3: I don't know.

00:32:59
Speaker 1: I ain't about tomorrow.

00:33:00
Speaker 4: You're like, you want to be whatever whatever we're doing with you, race my son whatever, he'd be like five years from now, what you know?

00:33:12
Speaker 2: Wherever we are? Do do you want to live in the same house?

00:33:15
Speaker 3: I don't know.

00:33:15
Speaker 2: If we move, let's move. If we don't, we'll be right here.

00:33:20
Speaker 3: Like, I don't know.

00:33:21
Speaker 1: I love that. I love I do because I and I feel you because I get frustraight, I'd be like like come on, but like if Tyler had to tell me that, Crystal, everybody isn't wired, that we we're wired. And there's some people that are just like I'm good, and sometimes I aspire to be like the I'm okay because I'm always like what's next for snacks? Like what we're doing, like I'm always I.

00:33:40
Speaker 3: Think that's the thing because I will never forget my first Guinness for a Record I.

00:33:45
Speaker 1: Got, come on say again, the first, the first, not.

00:33:48
Speaker 3: The the first Guinness for a Record I got less than an hour after receiving it. I was I'm at my house and I'm like, okay, we're we doing. Now, what's the next thing. I couldn't stay like, there isn't staying in a moment. I don't. I don't know how to like, yes, you could celebrate, but you don't celebrate and lose yourself.

00:34:05
Speaker 4: But you also don't give yourself your flowers and you don't and you don't like for people to point out that you're an amazing let's give them to your beautiful mother. Just everything. You're everything that a woman can aspire to be. You are all that, like wrapped in one person. I don't know how you run Kaleidoscope as the CEO.

00:34:25
Speaker 2: It's so many you gotta wear everybody's hat. If one person mess up.

00:34:29
Speaker 4: You're doing everything like you. I just don't know how you do it. You're on you're on phone calls twenty four seven, the computer, you're fixing this you're fixing that at the same time, your mother to True, your mother to Daisy, your grandmother to Kinzie, you have a daughter, to your mama, like it's it is. I don't want to ever be a CEO.

00:34:48
Speaker 2: I'm gonna just stay right.

00:34:49
Speaker 4: Here with you and be your wife and your baby mama like and rapper and actress and all the other things I do separate from that, Like you wear a lot of hats and you don't like to get your flowers, but you are everything and you deserve them, and I love you and I appreciate you, and you're the best thing that's ever happened to me and my son and my family and anybody you come across, because you are that and you prove it every single day.

00:35:20
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm about to cry.

00:35:21
Speaker 3: I know why does she do that?

00:35:24
Speaker 1: Receive it, Jesus, receive it, You receive it. Okay. Now I have another challenge for you, gd I want you to also take moments to just because I know you, I know your woman of faith and God has blessed you tremendously, take moments to just sit in it. Because gurd now you're about to cry. I tried to control.

00:35:49
Speaker 3: That was so beautiful, because I think the reason she's upset is because in this season, no matter how much you try to give people grace, it's just the thing that I would never let happen. I would never let my company anything like we've had some and just sub that's what I say.

00:36:05
Speaker 4: Yeah, well semester millions of dollars. But she got to fix it.

00:36:09
Speaker 3: Oh, I always. She always. I built this from the ground up, strap, no investors, no nothing. So I was a person that had to control inventory planning from when we were ordering thirty pieces to when we ordered three hundred thousand pieces. So there's not there's no part of the company that I'm unfamiliar with. So because of that, I am going to be in the meetings six o'clock in the morning, ten o'clock at night. I am going to stay up at night doing the Google she trying to correct somebody's inventory order forecast. I am going to be doing the budgets for administrations, said, I am going to That's that's what I So she's she's witnessed me having to do that.

00:36:46
Speaker 4: Because the people that mess up they have no repercussions. They might get fired, but they don't have to compensate for the millions that got lost and misplaced or whatever. And I can't go up because I got true and I got a family, and I got my ch.

00:37:00
Speaker 3: But what I kind of no matter what I explain to her, maybe you can help me on this. If I've empowered somebody in the seat to be able to make a decision that could cost me millions of dollars, that was my risk and even though it was their mistake, it was my risk because also in my company, with having no shareholders or anything, I benefit the most. So that means you also have to take the most losses. So if if year one through and we in year eleven, if ye're one through eight eight eighty percent of the profit. You know, companies come a year or two later. If it's something that I have to sow back into it, it's something that I fall on the sword every time I will fall on. You have to take even if it's somebody else's, But it's my company.

00:37:44
Speaker 4: So that's what happened, right exactly.

00:37:50
Speaker 2: And the rapper and all that good stuff over here, right, So yeah, just.

00:37:54
Speaker 3: Being responsible and hiring and I can tell you that's the talent that I hadn't had so I'm learning how to better hire. I am perfectly okay with saying what I'm good and not good at because I don't feel like I know everything. I feel like I know I'm good at marketing, but not even all parts of it. I know I'm good at social media, but not even all parts of it. And everything is also ever evolving, yes, but being open to say, hey, we need some help, Hey I need some help when it comes to building out structures. KPIs building our systems and processes because I never had to have that. I didn't go to college. I didnt even go to my high school graduation. So getting it I was here by guys grace by you know, the mess ups to you know, and the mess ups are gonna be expensive, but the generated income is also way more money than the mess up. Like, yes, we had a million dollar mistake, but made twenty five million a year. So you feel what I'm saying, Like, what's the that's a part of the business I started. When we first got in a relationship, I didn't let her in much because she is angry, she does want to punch somebody in the face. Let her in much. But then I realized the more I left her isolated the more she didn't understand why I'm taking these long meetings, why she understand why I'm doing this person shop. But now that I've let her in, yeah, she's angry, and I'm like, well, this actually is the order of business when you have a company. This happened, Yeah, it's it's there's no company that has succeeded that has been All workers have done their job one hundred percent the whole entire time, and anything that ever falls it always gonna roll to the topic.

00:39:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so true, so true. I love that. I have really enjoyed my time with you guys today. Seriously, we've had tears, we've left, we had a little therapy session. Okay, we got a few challenges. I appreciate you guys. The Way Love Goes comes out February third, twenty twenty six. Can we pre order now?

00:39:43
Speaker 2: Yes, you can pre order, Yes, pre ordered.

00:39:47
Speaker 1: Now. Let's make this a New York Times bestseller and beyond.

00:39:50
Speaker 2: They send our bios as well.

00:39:52
Speaker 1: Perfect, We'll have your Instagram handles so that everybody can tap in and get your bucks.

00:39:57
Speaker 2: Now.

00:39:58
Speaker 1: Okay, let's award these ladies. I love you guys. I know our community loves you and we support you. Let us know anything else we can do. Is there anything else besides the book that you have coming up that we need to be all look out for.

00:40:09
Speaker 3: We have a new launch, but yeah, we can just talk about the book.

00:40:12
Speaker 1: All right, all right?

00:40:13
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Thank you so much. I love you, thank you.

00:40:22
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, what an amazing conversation. We laughed, we cried, all the things. Today's conversation was reminded that love is one thing, but happiness takes attention. Thank you guys so much for tuning in to another episode of The Keeping Positi Sweety Show. Don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with someone who could use a little positivity today. And it's always stay blessed, stay encouraged, and remember keep your positive.

00:40:46
Speaker 2: I love you guys until nex's time.