The Accountability Architecture: Building Systems That Hold You Without Shame!

[SPEAKER_00]: grow squad, how you doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: Hope you're having a great week so far.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hope you're doing well.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hope you're taking care of yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now really, I know a lot of people are lying to themselves and they're thinking that they're taking care of themselves.
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, I might get an all in your business but I am.
[SPEAKER_00]: Take care.
[SPEAKER_00]: view.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I'm so amazed.
[SPEAKER_00]: When we look at the news, social media, so many people who are passing away.
[SPEAKER_00]: And some of it, you can't control it, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And others, I'm like, man, reports are coming out how, you know, they just didn't take care of themselves.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I made a commitment this year, and I hope you've made this same commitment.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to do much more taking care of myself.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to show you a way to get it done in just a moment.
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's pray God, thank you again for this moment for this time and be with us.
[SPEAKER_00]: We ask, Amen.
[SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever thought about why people have accountability partners?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you have an accountability partner?
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, one of the worst things we can do.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think, this is just my offering, is to get an accountability partner that's a person that's afraid to hurt your feelings.
[SPEAKER_00]: That really doesn't work.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oftentimes, excuse me, oftentimes we find out I say I was like Francis, if you get a coach at the gym, a trainer.
[SPEAKER_00]: Usually that person is somebody you don't know.
[SPEAKER_00]: Usually that trainer at the gym is a person that's, you know, they're to do a job, they're to help you get some results.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they don't mind hurting your feelings.
[SPEAKER_00]: In other words, they don't mind telling that you're slacking off, they don't mind telling you that, hey, you're lying, hey, have you ever told somebody, like, hey, I'm doing X, Y, and Z in the person.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I don't see the results.
[SPEAKER_00]: You gotta be lying.
[SPEAKER_00]: You missing something.
[SPEAKER_00]: Something isn't adding up.
[SPEAKER_00]: Almost like, you know, almost like your kids.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you ask your kid, you do your homework, you do this, X, Y, and Z, and you like whether results are not matching what you said you put in.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so oftentimes accountability partners are people that don't care about our feelings.
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I say that respectfully because of course,
[SPEAKER_00]: Nobody's out here making it their business to crush your heart or to make you feel bad about yourself.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no, no.
[SPEAKER_00]: But accountability partners are concerned with one thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what that one thing is?
[SPEAKER_00]: The truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: Accountability partners are only concerned with ensuring that you and I stop living a lie or
[SPEAKER_00]: In fact, I was looking at, I don't know if it was a YouTube video or a podcast or something where there was a gentleman talking about the fact that the best coach, if you have a coach, your coach must have a coach or else they will only be able to take you so far.
[SPEAKER_00]: Accountability partners must also have accountability partners or else they can only take you so far.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm encouraging you this year.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm encouraging you this week.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm encouraging you this day to strongly consider if you got some things you're trying to reach, some things you got trying to accomplish.
[SPEAKER_00]: You see how fast we got to this point in this year?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that time ain't playing with you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Time is not waiting for anybody.
[SPEAKER_00]: Time is moving, and time is doing what it does.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is up to us to make sure we feel in the time with meaningful things that's actually moving the need to in our lives.
[SPEAKER_00]: Check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out.
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember the first time I went to the gym seriously.
[SPEAKER_00]: I say that, because I've been going to the gym for years.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I kind of been like, you know, kind of just doing something.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
[SPEAKER_00]: Nice, nice time I read some of this 20 years ago.
[SPEAKER_00]: The first time I actually went to the gym with purpose, prior to that 20 year mark, prior to that, I should say, prior to the year 2000, let's say, 2000, yeah, 2002 somewhere around there.
[SPEAKER_00]: I got this, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: About going off of what I learned from, you know, some coach in high school and, you know, doing the regular sets and the regular reps and getting regular results.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's basically what I was doing.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I heard a sermon the other day.
[SPEAKER_00]: This guy talked about how he went to his trainer again this year.
[SPEAKER_00]: And his trainer was like, man, what's he been doing?
[SPEAKER_00]: He kind of told him what he was doing and how much he was benching in the guy said, but you were benching that this time last year and almost done them.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was like, yeah, you right.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he's like, he can't, he got this revelation that you can go to the gym to the same thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you expect different results, you got to do something new at the gym.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I use the gym as an analogy because it's the easiest thing, typically, when I'm, when I'm, when I'm sharing, but whatever it is, I'm going to encourage you if you're really trying to move the needle, right, the first I'm going to the gym, I was almost adamant that I didn't want to train her, right, I'll send to myself, I can get it here and do it.
[SPEAKER_00]: but I had a trainer for like three days, I think with three days.
[SPEAKER_00]: I said, give me the basics.
[SPEAKER_00]: And something what I need to do to progress, something what I do, something what progressive overload look like.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, just show me all the basic steps.
[SPEAKER_00]: What should I eat?
[SPEAKER_00]: What should I drink?
[SPEAKER_00]: What should I not eat?
[SPEAKER_00]: What should I not drink?
[SPEAKER_00]: I took the or three days and man, I took mental notes like nobody's business.
[SPEAKER_00]: and I lost whatever I lost in a short amount of time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Excuse me.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I had a person at least for three days that held me accountable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now when I didn't continue with him, I had a buddy of mine.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, we both decided that we were going to go on this fitness journey together.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we held each other accountable.
[SPEAKER_00]: Phone calls.
[SPEAKER_00]: pop-ups.
[SPEAKER_00]: Checking your refrigerator, seeing what you got going on.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because accountability partners, once again, care about nothing but the truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've, in my time, working in the community, I've facilitated a lot of things.
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember one year we were approached on a building
[SPEAKER_00]: we were approached by organization call alcoholics anonymous.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, it was interesting because
[SPEAKER_00]: As they approached us to ask us about using our facility to have meetings, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't fully understand because I'd never had that can't go through that process or ever had that challenge before to what I needed to have our call to anonymous.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, let's talk about what you all actually do.
[SPEAKER_00]: Not so much I was grilling them, but I really was interested.
[SPEAKER_00]: Number one, because I had to share this with a whole committee of people who would make the final decision and vote.
[SPEAKER_00]: And number two, I was curious.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you get people who have been drinking for 30 years, 10 years, 40 years, 5 years?
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I get to a point?
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, they can actually overcome their habit of alcoholism.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so they didn't call the person and account a ability partner, but the gentleman who was over the group that was going to meet at the site at our site, he said, man, we have we pair people up with a sponsor.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the term he used.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not sure if that's the same term that they use now, but at that time, some 20 years ago, or 15 years ago now.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, they call people who I'm calling for this time together and a counterability partner.
[SPEAKER_00]: They call them a sponsor.
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, as you begin to describe how sometimes people are turned off at first.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because their sponsor is all in their business at first.
[SPEAKER_00]: and their sponsor is all in their business to give them the tools, to give them the strategies, to give them the tactics, to help them to overcome what they say they want to overcome.
[SPEAKER_00]: Which was drinking.
[SPEAKER_00]: But he said something interesting to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if it was just for that group or if that's the national thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: But he said at some point, I kind of tell my sponsors to chill out.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now it's a responsibility.
[SPEAKER_00]: Now if you see somebody, it's like some kind of danger.
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been, you know, a lot of days or consecutive days.
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course, you want to go ahead and reach out, but put the ball on their court.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because one thing for me to call you, to check in on you, to make sure you're doing what you're supposed to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's another thing for you to call and report to me.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, man, I'm doing a good job.
[SPEAKER_00]: Today I had a urge.
[SPEAKER_00]: Today I had an inkling.
[SPEAKER_00]: Today I had I wanted to but I did what we discussed man and I'm fine.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm at the house right now drinking a smart water.
[SPEAKER_00]: I would have whatever it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: The accountability partners sponsors, coaches, mentors, whatever you want to call them.
[SPEAKER_00]: Several real purpose.
[SPEAKER_00]: And some of you listening right now, you, you know, and sometimes you turn your nose up to the idea of somebody auditing your business, I get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't like people all in our business.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm with you 1,000%, I don't like people all in my business.
[SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes if I'm going to succeed, sometimes if I'm going to become the best version of myself, I need somebody to be all in my business.
[SPEAKER_00]: That's just the God-honest truth.
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes the stuff that you don't want nobody to be in your business about is the stuff you struggle with and you're gonna keep on struggling with it until you let somebody get all in your business.
[SPEAKER_00]: Respectfully.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you think you're good at basketball,
[SPEAKER_00]: And all you dribbling it is that one hand, since you've been five years of age, and you think you're about to get on a team and take your games to the next level and you reject coaching, you got nothing coming.
[SPEAKER_00]: You better get somebody in your life so they're gonna tell you and gonna show you, not just tell you, but show you, not just tell you, but also show you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, listen to me, not just tell you, but show you how to use your left hand.
[SPEAKER_00]: The best cultures, the best mentees, the best cognitive partners.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're not just running them off telling you, oh, you should be this.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, they're giving you game.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, those of you for my neighborhood, you know, giving you game is giving you the tools that you need to be successful in the area that y'all are discussing.
[SPEAKER_00]: If I'm horrible in the kitchen and you can't cook, I, you're just complaining, you ain't, you ain't, you ain't, you're not coaching nothing.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you can't cook either, and all you can do is almost as those people, it cracks me up when I see, I mean, rooms, I mean, places where people are critiquing a football game.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it's funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's one.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's one.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm speaking at Utah.
[SPEAKER_00]: This may be before your time, but Darren Williams, just to play for the Utah Jazz, to become a Utah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you're talking about how he was traded from the Utah Jazz, he went to, I think, Brooklyn, and he had a hit coach who, instead of giving him the tools to get better.
[SPEAKER_00]: When he saw him going or doing something in a game and then going over film, and he would see that, oh, you missed this.
[SPEAKER_00]: He would always just simply say, man, if I was this, I would do this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, if they were me on the court, and the guy, the daring wins like, man, I would always hit to myself, man, you, oh, sit down, so you wouldn't have done anything.
[SPEAKER_00]: And as only he had that mindset, where he was unable to receive how the guy was trying to deliver some strategies as a game, he was close off to the tips and the tools, the guy didn't know how
[SPEAKER_00]: to explain outside of using himself as an analogy, this is what I would have done if I were to bend in your shoes.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was so hung up on the fact that that guy is not better than him.
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course, there's a four to year age difference.
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course, he's not better than you.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was just simply giving you some information and using himself as an example.
[SPEAKER_00]: What am I saying?
[SPEAKER_00]: Accountability partners,
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, they hold you accountable, but the best accountability part is that I've ever come in contact with can also share information with you to help you level up.
[SPEAKER_00]: They can also share information with you if they're given a critique, okay, here's my critique on that, but here is here are some tools.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's an app.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's a website.
[SPEAKER_00]: Here's something that can help you get better, overcome, and move forward in that area.
[SPEAKER_00]: So check it out.
[SPEAKER_00]: If you've been contemplating getting a coach, connecting with that kind of early partner, and a rule of thumb for me is my accountability partners
[SPEAKER_00]: But this doesn't mean everybody has a different and I get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: When you think about accountability partner, sometimes you're like, well, we're on the same level and we struggle with the same thing.
[SPEAKER_00]: For me, that doesn't work because we just did here trading war stories.
[SPEAKER_00]: I leave my accountability partner be somebody that I look up to.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I may not have necessarily gone through what I'm struggling with or need to be held accountable for.
[SPEAKER_00]: but they've got some skin in the game.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what I mean by that, they, it meant I have my story, but they've got a story.
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't have to be an extreme story, they don't have to be the story that's all off the wall and they've been, you know, prison art, no, no, I'm not saying that.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm saying they've got some data.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying to think of the name that when I was doing my graduate studies, they had, oh, yeah, that's what it is.
[SPEAKER_00]: They have a case study, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: They may not have gone through my, they may not have struggled with a weight, but they had some other mountain they climbed up.
[SPEAKER_00]: They may not have struggled with alcoholism, but they've got some mountain that they've climbed up.
[SPEAKER_00]: They can give you evidence of such.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thus, they can give you tools and tips that will help you gain the momentum to become everything you were born to become.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hope this encourages you to stop just thinking about it'll be cool to have an accountability partner.
[SPEAKER_00]: But go actively seek out one that will aid you and help you alone the way.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that this year, you can become everything that you would want to become.
[SPEAKER_00]: Share this message out with somebody who you know needs a coach, needs a mentor, they're working toward a goal and you just want to help them have the courage to find somebody to help them along the way.
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you subscribe?
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you like?
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you share?
[SPEAKER_00]: And as we continue to join together, all of us each and every day, our supple gold is to go to grow and to blow.
[SPEAKER_00]: Listen, thank you for tuning in today.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for your time.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for your attention.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hope that you and yours have a wonderful rest of the week.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'll see you next time at the same time, saying place.
[SPEAKER_00]: Take here.
[SPEAKER_00]: Be good to yourself.