No One Is Too Far From God: A Roundtable Discussion

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Speaker 1: Coming up. Keep it positive, sweetie.

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Speaker 2: I don't care if I go out with a full ball down on and lashes from here to.

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Speaker 3: To p Street.

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Speaker 2: Nobody tell me that God ain't still with That's right, And.

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Speaker 4: When you get to that point, that not to cut you off. When you get to that point, that is like the point where you know that in church they say you know that you know that, you know you know, and when you able to get to that point, it's nothing that anybody could tell. Even if you're wrong, and even if you fall from grace, you still know that you have your father and that he.

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Speaker 6: Guys.

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Speaker 5: I am so excited to be kicking all season six and as you can.

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Speaker 1: Tell, we are on a new set.

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Speaker 1: You, guys, and a lot of fun things as well.

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Speaker 5: Today I'm spending time with a few people who like me, understand their humanness and also their need for faith, forgiveness, and a strong foundation in God. Joining me is pastor, producer, host of Life and Perspective podcast, Brenda Palmer, author, advocate, motivational speaker and host of break Free podcast, Angela Wright, actor, singer, songwriter and social activist, Miss Lawrence, entertainment manager, entrepreneur, and the Big Fellow himself, Wes Lawrence, and my brother from Another Mother, actor author, my co host on our hit show Sisters, Asatima deval Ellis.

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Speaker 1: Guys, thank y'all so much for being here today. I really appreciate. I'm excited about this conversation. Today.

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Speaker 5: We are talking about no one is too far from God. And this conversation actually came from Brenda and I having brench with some girls in La and nobody knew that Brenda was a.

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Speaker 1: Pastor, so everybody was speaking freely.

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Speaker 5: At the table, and as the conversation went on, Brenda started speaking to everyone and it was funny. One of my friends was like, very, I guess going to church because God was within her, and she's like, I don't need to go to church, And now she's actually texting Brenda saying, hey, I found this new church you want to pull up.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, this is my actually a dope concept to.

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Speaker 5: Have a conversation of people in different walks of life, in different phases of their relationship with God and their walk with God, and just to like get some clarity on things and be opened at what we're going through. Cause so many people are struggling in this area. And I think it's so dope because there's so many things we deal with, whether it's church hurt or confusion and trying to figure out why are certain things happening?

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Speaker 1: Does God really exist? I know there's so many times we actually questioned God, you know. So I just wanted to have.

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Speaker 5: I love all of you guys, and we've all had separate conversations.

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Speaker 1: Y'all have super dope stories, so I wanted to have y'all and so we could talk about it.

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Speaker 5: So to break the ice, just tell everybody a little bit about yourselves, just so everybody can kind of know your back stories. I really want to y'all have so like your baxters are so dope, So one kind of touch on.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry with you about So.

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Speaker 7: I grew up Southern Baptist, went to church six days a week, Monday was like youth council, Tuesday was choir rehearsal, when day's Bible study. Thursday was boy Scouts Friday, Friday was youth counselor. Again, Saturday was the junior layman, and someday I went to church. So I grew up always thinking that the church was everything. And my uncle was a deacon, my father's a deacon, grandfather's a DC, and my aunt's a pastor. So I was always a part of like the quote unquote clergy. But I just always felt like when I asked questions, I got shunned, and it was always like, listen to what I say. If you ask questions, then you don't believe the way you're supposed to believe, so you going to hell. And that scared me because I was like, I don't want to go to hell, but I also.

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Speaker 3: Just don't believe.

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Speaker 7: So then it made me afraid of believing anything because I was kind of like, well, if I don't believe the way y'all believe that I'm going to hell, so then I just don't believe, you know. So after years of trying to ask questions of getting shunned, when I turned eighteen, I said, I'm going to college and I'm never going to church, and I haven't haven't turned back.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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Speaker 7: Wow, Yes, that was twenty.

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Speaker 3: Two years ago.

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Speaker 7: Okay, that's my story.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for saying that.

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Speaker 4: I grew up in church. Actually, just like you, I went to church for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My father was a pastor, and going to church that's what you did. If it wasn't choir, rehearsal, junior missionary board, it was just everything Saturday day, So dinner is this a fundraiser? So I grew grew up in church, but for me it was different. The church was everything because that's all I knew. That's what my life was pattering around. And eventually I went old, got older and came to Atlanta, went to Clark Atlanta University. I graduated, but I made a left turn and I got caught up into a big drug conspiracy case as a first time non vald offender. I was sentenced at thirty years and it's just like, wait a minute, Jesus, I didn't you know. I was looking at us. I didn't kill anyone, you know, physically, but what I realized is I killed a lot of people dreams. I messed up generations to come from just one person using drugs. I didn't sell on the corner. I sold kilos. So you just think a thousand grams as in one kilo of cocaine that can ruin a thousand lives, but you don't look at it when you want to think of it. But I never lost my faith, and I knew that once the word is embedded in you, people can take whatever they want to take from you, but one thing they.

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Speaker 6: Cannot take is that word. And I stood on it.

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Speaker 4: Even though I was wrong, and even though I had fell and hit rock bottom, I still was able to look to the hills from what came of my help, and my help came from God. So I'm sitting here, so obviously I didn't do the thirty years.

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Speaker 6: Yeah. So that that's my story. That's my faith.

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Speaker 4: I stick to it, and I know I am a beacon of light when I walk into a room. I know the gift that's within me that God has trusted me with. And before I used to say I was part of the problem, but now I'm a solution and I tell anybody on the mountain top that it was God that did it for me.

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Speaker 1: I love it beautiful.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 8: So yeah, I'll just third that I grew up in church. I grew up with PK two. Even if my parents weren't past as, they served it some level of leadership, so street ministry, youth ministry, church was.

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Speaker 1: All the time.

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Speaker 8: When I was eighteen, I was like, I'm done with this because my parents read a smaller church, so I had to do everything.

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Speaker 9: I was the oldest kid in the church.

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Speaker 8: I read an audio read, I'm tired, I'm nothing else to do with it. And so when I was eighteen, I was like, I'm finna go, you know, like live life.

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Speaker 9: I went to college. I knew how to go to college and be at college and come home and act.

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Speaker 6: Like I was good.

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Speaker 9: I did that very well.

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Speaker 8: And then probably like my sophomore year of college, I had I like what I was reading in scripture became applicable to my life, and I feel like I found like I met Jesus beyond religion and I developed a personal relationship with him. And then from there, I mean, I still, you know, teetered back and forth, but I think, uh, when I was twenty eight, I experienced church hurt, like a betrayal from my pastor that was I don't think I could have ever imagined it, and it it almost took my life, like I ain't wanna live anymore. And in that moment, I felt like I came face to face with Jesus because I knew nobody outside of him could get me out of it. And so because of that, I moved to LA I started working in the entertainment industry, but I committed my life to creating spaces for people who would experience that church hurt from people, but still wanted a relation with Jesus.

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Speaker 9: So how can I.

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Speaker 8: Create spaces for people to encounter Jesus, build a relationship with him and figure out the church stuff, figure out where I want to go, figure out where I want to land. But like experiencing like no, Jesus loves you, and even if you experience it away that doesn't feel that way from people who represent him, I still want you to have a relationship with Jesus because that's what I needed to survive.

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Speaker 9: And so that's kind of what I do.

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Speaker 8: I travel around the country hosting pop up Bible studies to ensure like to create spaces for people to do this, like talk about God so they encounter him on their own and not be detoured by all the other stuff.

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Speaker 1: Yeah kay.

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Speaker 5: And that's what I love about you, Brenda, is that I'm on this journey and I can be very transparent with you. You don't judge me, but you hold me accountable. You always push me to see things in a different perspective that I don't normally see. I appreciate that. But like everybody else, I grew up in the church. My mother did become a pastor, she's an associate pastor. She didn't become a pastor until I was like ending high school going into college, so I didn't grow up.

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Speaker 1: Like as a PK. But I was in the church every time the door is open. I was there from kids choir all the way through.

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Speaker 5: And once I got to college, I was like, I don't have to do this anymore. Same way like we had to make our bed up every morning, I wouldn't do none of that. When I left I was going to church, I was like, I'm done. And it was one of those things where I was in the streets, promiscuous, partying, drinking.

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Speaker 1: Doing all the things.

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Speaker 5: Because I lived in a very structured house, so I won't say strict like they were strict, but they also gave us freedoms within the home so that we were protected.

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Speaker 1: But a lot of times it was like.

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Speaker 5: I couldn't party, I couldn't stay out too late, all those things. So when I got out of the house, I was And it.

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Speaker 1: Wasn't until.

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Speaker 5: Freshman freshman semester I was on academic promation from clearly partying and doing all the things. Yeah, and had to spend my whole summer to get my GPA back up. And it was in that moment that I realized, I've got to get back to what I know. And I always raised Methodists, and for me, I love my church, but it was boring.

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Speaker 1: To me, very structure, very structured.

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Speaker 5: We sang hymnals and I wanted to sing Kirk Franklin, and we ended up starting to do that, like our church like changing. We like started singing really songs that spoke to us as.

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Speaker 1: A younger generation.

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Speaker 5: But I ended up going to a Baptist church when I was in college, and that's why I really encountered God, because I found him through praise and worship. Some people like I need to hear him preach, but for me, it was like I need to hear this music because the music speaks to me. So that was the pivot and the shift where I was like, Okay, my mom and dad taught me, but that wasn't my.

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Speaker 1: Own relationship with God.

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Speaker 5: This is where I can build my own and learn how to talk to him in my own way.

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Speaker 1: Like all right, Lord.

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Speaker 6: What we're doing now? Because this is ghetto, you know.

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Speaker 1: Versus heavenly Father. I just want to thank you for you know, you have to find your own way.

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Speaker 7: That's how I grew up to speaking dressed a certain way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't be myself just certainly listen.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, women couldn't wear pants.

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Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, super.

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Speaker 1: Under your skirt better bear.

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Speaker 9: Up to the neck.

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Speaker 6: Covers too short? The mother's coming out with baby about you?

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Speaker 3: He'p.

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Speaker 5: You've been on my podcast When we talked, we had a good conversation.

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Speaker 3: We had a good conversation. I grew up here in Atlanta.

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Speaker 2: I don't I'm not related to pastors or anything like that. I went to church every Sunday with my mama. But my mama was one of those parents is like okay, we got to go to church, and then she going there and go to sleep.

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Speaker 3: Go ahead and be sitting there, and.

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Speaker 2: I learned a lot of scripture by way of repetition from hearing it all the time. Yes, I didn't learn to apply it until later come to a meeting of the mind and spiritual understanding of what.

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Speaker 3: It all meant.

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Speaker 2: My battles with church came when I started singing in church, and everybody was, you know, stood at attention when I sang, but then when I didn't sing, I was frowned upon because of who I was and what I looked like, how I presented myself because as a gender non conforming or disflaming gay queen, I always put on a little powder something like that. Now I would put my little suits on for church, you know, all that kind of stuff. But it was it was gonna be something that was extracted from women's culture, and so the only time they would see me as human was when I was singing and using my voice. But after that, it was nothing for me, right, and so I stopped going to church for a very long time, and then I picked it back up later. But I get through that time. I understood, Okay, I need to go to church to be taught, and I worship in spirit and in truth anywhere that I go, and to a lot of you all's points, what I learned is forcing people to go to church because that's what they say you're supposed to do, and you're supposed to dress this way and dress that way. What I learned from my own journey is that it is true when the Scripture says that the traditions of man has caused my word to have no effects. Absolutely, And in order to be able to meet people where they are, you have to be in worship, in spirit and the truth. You'll never learn who I am if I'm not operating in truth. Absolutely, And so I learned that along my along my journey, and so I learned who God was and who he was to me and what the spirit meant to me. And it's been incredible since I came to know him on my own.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, that's a big fella.

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Speaker 10: Well, I see, I grew up in the DC area, so church wasn't it wasn't pushed into church, but you know, family, we had a family church that we always go, you know, Easter and stuff like that. I had a church in my neighborhood that me and my friends would we took upon ourselves to go to as as younger when we was younger, so singing the choir then and stuff like that. But as I got older and I moved to Atlanta, I think it was like stepan five, So like around two thousand and five, two thousand and six, I got baptized again as an adult. So it was a it was a it was a it was a great experience. I started learning more, you know, getting into it. But you know, I'm in the entertainment business and I'm in the thick of it, like I'm on tour, I'm on the road. I'm traveling, drinking, smoking, you know, so I kind of like lost myself. I got to a point where I needed to censor. I felt like the only place I can do that is with God in church. And as I started to do that, things started disappearing on my life. Things started getting better. The problems I was having was gone. So as a kid, I never saw it like that. I just saw, you know, we was growing up. We didn't have a lot, but we had what we needed.

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Speaker 7: You know.

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Speaker 10: It wasn't like you know, other families or whatnot. But I felt like, well, I'm going to church and praying for what.

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Speaker 1: I didn't have.

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Speaker 6: Faith.

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Speaker 10: So like now as an adult and you know, me exploring the word on my own.

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Speaker 3: I feel better.

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Speaker 10: I feel like I feel like I understand it more so I'm just I feel like I'm just in a better place overall with that.

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Speaker 1: That fella, I'm proud of you.

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Speaker 5: I remember we were at the house having wind one night and we're just having conversation and you were like, I'm gonna getting my Bible more. And then I remember you calling me and asked what time does her start? And then he goes to the service before me and everyone he's like, yo, you gonna love.

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Speaker 1: Like wow.

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Speaker 7: The one thing you said was that resonated to me was like getting older and understanding church. Right. And then Lawrence, you said the same thing about being taught. I noticed being a father now, right, my children are not mature enough to understand certain things.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 7: It's like you take a kid and you like, here's calculus, right, the thagoraan theorem co sign tangent. They're gonna be like, what is this. I felt like that in church when they were trying to teach me the Bible, it sounded like the Thagorean theorem. And then and because I couldn't understand it. I felt less than I felt like something's wrong with my spirit, like people getting up and running around and they crying and I'm just sitting there like.

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Speaker 6: I feel, you.

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Speaker 3: Know what, what does like?

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Speaker 10: At what age do you really think you're gonna understand the word like really like?

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Speaker 3: Because it just.

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Speaker 2: Happens, happens on its own. And I'm gonna tell you. As a child, what my.

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Speaker 3: Mother did give me was principles and.

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Speaker 2: That there is a source that you go to in the time of trouble when you need clarity, to be patient while you're waiting on clarity, and to know that that source, which is God, loves you unconditionally more than anything and anybody in this world is your best friend.

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Speaker 3: Now, I kept that with me, and to never.

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Speaker 2: Lie that I always tell people my mom always, don't you tell no lie?

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Speaker 3: You tell a lie about nothing? Now in that.

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Speaker 2: Me understanding that it's you, you should never be a liar. I never did that, which is why I get to sit here as my whole self, because I would never lie about who I was.

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Speaker 3: So in that I learned. I learned because of that, I know who I am.

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Speaker 7: So But wasn't that conflicting in the church because you can't be a liar.

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Speaker 3: But here's the piece.

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Speaker 2: It was conflicting at first until I got older. And this is what I mean when I say it all it just comes together. But because I had those fundamental principles when I was because I was there, I kept it with me.

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Speaker 3: And then it made Since later it was conflicting.

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Speaker 2: But that is why we are to study, because the Holy Spirit will show you things that why they teach you all your pastor may not be able to convey to you. They can, they can give you the word, but until you sit and you sit in it and reflect on it, and you ask God and the Holy spiritual show you what that means, that's when you'll get it.

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Speaker 1: Understand.

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Speaker 3: Life experience will lead you to that.

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Speaker 2: Unfortunately, we're gonna we get put in the situations where we have nobody else and nothing else to turn to, and that's when it clicks. And and that's where that word comes from. Trying for yourself, Yeah, you trying for yourself? Can't nobody, Nobody can change my mind about God. If I go out with a full ball gown on and lashes from here to to p Street, nobody tell me that God ain't still with that's right, and when you get to that point, that not to cut you off.

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Speaker 4: When you get to that point, that is like the point where you know that In church they say you know that, you know that, you know, you know and when you able to get to that point, it's nothing that anybody could tell. Even if you're wrong, even if you fall from grace, you still know that you have your father.

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Speaker 9: Yeah.

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Speaker 8: I think what I'll piggyback on is like the reality is like, you can't pursue Jesus without him, come on. And so I think that like to the love thing, it's like I think about Jesus picked to his disciples. They were the worst people ever, like the worst people ever, and when Jesus goes to them, he doesn't say like, hey, you're doing this thing wrong, you're doing this thing wrong. He just says, hey, come follow me. So much so his first disciples he picked, he gave them a bag like set them for life. They walked away from the bag and said, actually, I'm a go with dude. And there is this there is this learning and this knowledge that you come into through relationship. I think the issue with growing up in church is that we grow up in church, so we get into like this performance based things. I gotta look a certain way, I gotta act a certain way with no root or foundation and why we're doing it. The reality is Jesus loves us, and once I experience and embrace and accept that love, I want to receive imprecated with how I live my life. So my reason to follow Jesus isn't because I'm trying to make him. I can't earn his love. He gave it to me freely and.

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Speaker 9: Once I start.

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Speaker 8: So whenever I see somebody fall short or do something that's all censored, I go they haven't fully embraced how much God loves them.

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Speaker 9: And the issue is when we were at church, they're like, don't do this because you want to go to hell. Well, of course I'm gonna make a decision because I don't want to die and go to hell.

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Speaker 8: But then most people think, well that's after I die, so why does it matter.

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Speaker 9: So that's not even a rooted foundation.

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Speaker 8: But if I told you that somebody chose you, even if you decide not to choose them, they still made a decision about you, and nothing you could do whatever change their mind. That's the kind of person you want to get to know because you like dang, I could be raggedy and messed up and make the wrong decisions and this person never changes their mind. Yeah, and when I come face to face with that person, then I go Okay, Now, how does my life reflect the love that they've given me? I want to live up to the person that you saw fit to save that.

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Speaker 7: Way, so can I ask? This is a question. And I hate asking this question to people because I don't like to challenge people's religion. No, let's go. My biggest issue with religion is someone saying you have to you will only go through Heaven through like believing in Jesus Christ.

00:23:08
Speaker 1: That's good to me.

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Speaker 7: That creates division amongst people, right, because what if I don't live in a place where they don't present Jesus Christ to me, So they say I grew up in a Muslim, a Muslim place where there's no Jesus. You can only, for example, say you lived in the Gaza right now and there's a holy war and you were never presented Jesus. You're telling me that those people who are Muslim are going to Hell. That was a question I always had to my pastor, and no one could ever give me an answer, like someone who grew up Buddhists who never was introduced to Jesus. You telling me that that person's gonna go to hell. That just never sat right with me. And it just feels like religion became so divisive for so many people because that was a way you can control masses that it just scared me. You know, not that I judge other people, It just scares me, Like, so if I got I only believe there's one thing, What if I died and then that one thing was wrong? You know what I'm saying.

00:24:00
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think well, first of all, you ask five questions. First, the Bible says that until the Gospel has reached the ends of the earth, he won't return. So everybody will have an opportunity to hear the Gospel. That doesn't necessarily mean that they'll make the decision to follow it. And so I think about when you talk about different religions. Our faith in religion is built on Jesus. So the only way you have access to the things that are offered in Christianity is through faith in Jesus. It is a divisive world because this is a fallen world. The world we live in is not the world the Lord intended for us to live in. We live here now because we have sin. Shout out to Adam and Eve.

00:24:44
Speaker 9: It's our fault. But that's the world we live in.

00:24:47
Speaker 8: And so I think that like we have to we have to think of it, like we all have a choice. Like God didn't just say, like here's what he's saying, Like, you get to Heaven through Jesus.

00:24:56
Speaker 9: That's the only way you get there. But I'm gonna give you a choice.

00:24:58
Speaker 8: You don't have to choose Jesus, even though he chose you, and what happens at the end of your life is based off your decision. And because of that, like you have free will, you want to choose it. And so I think it's like not a sense of dividing, it is a sense of like God wants to be chosen for his sake, and if you choose to follow something else. As believers, I don't shun a Muslim, but I disagree with their choice of faith. And they believe as hard as we believe, are probably harder they you know what I'm saying, there's ten toes down there are other Jehovah's witners think that they are only a certain seas.

00:25:30
Speaker 7: Question who's righting who's wrong. The fact that you have to choose one, to me is what's problematic with religion, not spirituality. Growing up, especially in Brooklyn, I lived between Hasidic Jews, I live between Muslims. There was a church on every corner. It's like those three were like the Big Three. And I would ask questions, and when I would come across people ask questions, and me asking too many questions would get people upset, and they all at certain times felt like I was trying to tear down their religion. And I'm like, I'm not trying to tear down I'm trying to understand. The more questions I asked, people thought I was just being divisive or playing Devil's advocate, and I was like, okay, so I seek it on my own. I went to college and study And when I went to college and study religion, that's when I really started to gain my faith, because, like you both said, when you know that, you know, you know, And they were visions and things that I got in my mind when I was young, and my parents used to be like, like, who made you believe that, And I said, somebody gave me the vision and it wasn't y'all. Yeah, So there has to be a guy, because someone is giving me the things that I know in order to be successful in life and putting me in front of people.

00:26:34
Speaker 3: For example, I met a Jewish dude.

00:26:36
Speaker 7: He had his knot underneath his beard. He had a knot from trying to tie and he was just like, hey, can you get this for me? So I'm tired it for him and all my friends was like, why are you talking to this acidic Jewish dude. I'm like, he said, he need help. Then he prayed. He said, let me say something. He prayed for me, and I said thanks. I didn't know Jewish people. I was a young kid fresh. I didn't know Jewish people prayed for black people. When I was about fifteen, I said, you know, I know of chosen people and he said, who told you that?

00:27:04
Speaker 1: And I said, I.

00:27:06
Speaker 7: Don't call yourselves the chosen people? And he literally said to me, he said, you don't have to be born Jewish to walk through the kingdoms of God or the Kingdom of Heaven. And that was a Jewish guy said that to me, And I was like that was strange because I've never heard that before. Ran into a Muslim guy on Atlantic Avenue, never forget once it got asked for help, so I stopped, what's up? Give him some help? And he prayed for me, and I was just like what is that? And he's like, you have a great spirit, don't never let anything else dark in your spirit. And I'm like, here's a Muslim person that prayed for me, here's a Jewish person that played for me. And it was just like, who am I to condemn their religion because I don't believe it. So it's hard for me to believe one thing. So I've just been very receptive and open to different type of people in walks of life, and that just been like my journey, like God has been accept everybody.

00:27:54
Speaker 5: Bro.

00:27:56
Speaker 10: Have you ever tried to study like Muslim?

00:27:59
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:27:59
Speaker 7: I took for two years. I studied, I studied, and to me, it was the same thing, like the traditions of the Muslim religion. There were certain things that about it that was kind of like, you know, like they were very salacious when it came to women. And I also got a vision from God that like God was just like, well, I'm not a man. Now this is another thing too. I don't want to ever say something that people feel like. God was like, I can't be a gender. I'm a creator of authors. This is what This is the message I got from God, and this is also what I've heard. He was just like, women create everything, women come from life like, women are life like, they are the vest of life. Why would God be a man? And I was like, there's no religion in the world, not Christianity, Muslim or Jewish religion that puts women on the pedestal they're supposed to. So for me, it's always been an issue for me to just kind of go in there and go to these churches.

00:28:50
Speaker 3: And it's all men up there.

00:28:52
Speaker 7: But the people we go to for nourishment and nurture is women.

00:28:54
Speaker 3: And going back to this King James.

00:28:57
Speaker 7: Thing you were talking about, not going back we were.

00:29:03
Speaker 6: I told him not to start.

00:29:06
Speaker 3: But when you talk because when you talk about the.

00:29:08
Speaker 2: Quran, talk about the King James version of the if you look through I've never read the Koran, but I understand I have friends that are Muslim. It's all of it is extremely misogynistic. The King James birth. King James was from what I understand and my interpretation was very anti women, which is why everything is thy man and thy brother, and and and to your point, I'm like, well, from my own experience, it was women that gave me what I needed. And I'll never forget. I remember hearing debiel I say one time an Awards show. She said, every person living and breathing should pledge allegiance to the birth canal.

00:29:55
Speaker 7: We all came through that, We all came through the leg.

00:29:59
Speaker 3: Came through there. That is a fact, you know. So what I believe.

00:30:07
Speaker 2: Is that you will see them pearly gates or whatever that really looks like, based on how you serve. Because at the end of the day, what I long to hear, and I think everybody should long to hear, is job well done.

00:30:25
Speaker 7: You grew up.

00:30:27
Speaker 3: And when I hear.

00:30:34
Speaker 2: Except Lord and Jesus Christ, is yours, your personal savior.

00:30:39
Speaker 3: It's the way of what he was, yes, and how he operated, which was served. That is what we're supposed to do.

00:30:49
Speaker 2: And so I tell people all the time, at the end of the day, did you give somebody water when they were thirsty? Did you give them clothes when they were naked? Did you give them food when they were hungry.

00:31:00
Speaker 6: Don't forget visiting them while they was in prison.

00:31:08
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be honest.

00:31:09
Speaker 2: I really feel like when you check all those boxes and you know from where your help comes, and you acknowledge that, you acknowledge the source as such, there's there's no God won't forsake you.

00:31:23
Speaker 6: And I will say to you too, like have your get your you.

00:31:27
Speaker 4: You just have to have your own relationship. And once you have your relationship, ask God for clarity. Got to give you clarity whether he's sending through Wes, if he sent it through this lad, if he send it through the pastor it might be a child or one of your kids.

00:31:50
Speaker 8: I think the thing I will add to that is like I agree with personal relationships, and I think like it starts at I could tell like you're a seeker, and so it's almost like God to reveal himself to you in ways that we didn't all encounter him because of the way that you think. But it really starts with faith, and it really starts having an honest conversation like I talk to God like I'm sitting here talking to y'all, and it literally starts with God, show me who you are. Like in the most naturalist way, and he'll start to reveal himself. You already mentioned like I have visions and God talks to me this way. The issue is that when we grow up with those gifts, if people don't know how to foster them, they will shun them and not dig into that. Somebody should have been cultivating that for you, because that's the way God speaks to you, and so I feel like it has to happen that way. I think the other thing is that, like Jesus only gave us two commandments. It was to love him with all our hearts, soul in mind, and to love our neighbor as ourselves, and that is what it is. But when we talk about loving Jesus with our heart, soul in mind, that means it's hard to say it.

00:32:52
Speaker 9: It's like, because I know God.

00:32:53
Speaker 8: Is expressed in so many ways, but Jesus in the bounds of Christianity is the only way, and it's hard to understand that. But it's also a journey we take with him because I think I brought the disciples because I'm like, they didn't even know. Dude, He's just walking up on the scene as a random guy saying things. But my first experience with Jesus came from experiencing healing. I had asthma at seven and I was I wanted to be an athlete. I used to have to take the machine every night and I would go to bed at seven and be like, God, I don't want to do this, And at seven I got healed from it.

00:33:25
Speaker 9: I've never had asthma again, so I'm like, oh, you.

00:33:29
Speaker 6: Might be real, you know what I'm saying.

00:33:34
Speaker 8: And then I've seen that over and over again in life, like asking for something and watching him show up.

00:33:40
Speaker 9: Like last year, I quit my job just following the Lord. That ain't.

00:33:45
Speaker 8: I live in la It costs to breathe. It's just not a thing I could just be out here doing. But I trust God so much, I'm like, cool, I'll do that.

00:33:53
Speaker 9: I ended the year with a six figure book deal. I get to travel the world.

00:33:57
Speaker 8: And those are not the blessing. The blessing is I met Jesus along the way, and I know he's a provider.

00:34:03
Speaker 9: You couldn't make me, but you couldn't sit here argue with me back and forth and be like no, no, God doesn't provide, Oh he does. Yeah, Yet.

00:34:12
Speaker 7: We talk about living in abundance because God knows that we will provide for other people. One thing I've learned that it has been clear to me over the past five years is that me opening my heart to understanding people relieve me from certain things. Right. I grew up in Brooklyn in the nineties. Homophobia, misogyny, and having an elitist attitude was normal.

00:34:33
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Like, if you a.

00:34:35
Speaker 7: Dude and you're going to survive, you gotta think you better than everybody else. You gotta think women ain't as you know, I'm trying not to prespass, Sorry, but then you know you like going on my journey to try to understand what God wanted from me. It really was just exceptings, acceptance and accepting all things right. Every walk of life should be accepted even if you don't agree with it, because that's that person's walk, just like you said my cousin did eight years right. Grew up Southern Baptist. When he came out, he was Muslim. When he came out, he was Muslim because Muslim got him through doing that. You know what I'm saying, tell me that there wasn't something that they needed in that moment from the Muslim religion that got them through. That's so for me, it's hard for me to cast anything against anybody. I don't care what you are, who you look like. The first thing I'm gonna do is just ask questions to get to know. But I realized when I ask questions, especially in the church community, because that's what we're talking about, that's when I get my most pushback because they don't understand the.

00:35:45
Speaker 5: Fear.

00:35:45
Speaker 8: You know what I'm saying, And there are things that Scripture says right that we don't necessarily agree with, but it doesn't mean that I dehumanize you, like I still love you, even if that's the same thing, Like if she liked the falcons and I like the Bears, is like, okay.

00:36:01
Speaker 9: That's cool, you know what I'm saying, Like I can still love answer. We're gonna kick here, we're gonna hang out, we're gonna talk, you know what I'm saying.

00:36:06
Speaker 8: And I think that what we are missing sometimes in the body of Christ is the relational fact like factor like I can sit and I could talk, I can engage.

00:36:15
Speaker 9: I've been doing that more like I just want to ask questions. Like most times people will say things to me and they.

00:36:19
Speaker 8: Be like, I know you're not gonna you don't know what I'm gonna say, Just say it and then we can have a conversation, because I also want to understand what you where you're saying, where you're coming from. I also can't show you your need for Jesus if I don't know your need, So I can't even I can't even say like, oh, this is what he will do for you if I ain't never took the time to sit and hear you out and listen and learn about you as a person. And so I do think that we're missing that. But please keep asking questions. You've probably just been asking the wrong people.

00:36:48
Speaker 7: Yeah, I fear you don't want to offend people because religion people take that very personal, and I never want to knock someone off of their spiritual journey by asking the question may get them thinking something. So for me, it's kind of like, let me not even ask this question openly. The only reason why I feel comfortable is because Crystal made it up. You know, this is a place where we can be positive, you know, But I don't have like how many times we've all been in the room and I've never talked to Wess about this.

00:37:16
Speaker 3: I don't because I don't ever want to hurt somebody.

00:37:20
Speaker 7: But these are questions. I really be sitting back, like I wonder if other people got these questions.

00:37:25
Speaker 10: Do you feel like it's a block of a blessing because you don't ask the question or you don't get the answer.

00:37:30
Speaker 7: Do you feel because at some point you really don't know what you No, I get what you're saying. My first thing is I'm always gonna ask God. God for my entire life has provided me with answers. Like you said, There's been times in my life when I haven't had ship and I'll be like God, I just need a way and then bow. He won't give me the money, he gonna give me away and I got to walk through that door to get it done. Like God has done that to me so many times that nobody can tell me.

00:37:55
Speaker 5: God.

00:37:57
Speaker 4: You how you were saying about being more person like, I feel like that's why we having a hard time right now reaching this generation for sure, because churches be rooted in traditions, then we cannot be in order to reach this new generation like God, That's what I do.

00:38:14
Speaker 6: Both children now, especially at Rich Children the only way we're going.

00:38:18
Speaker 1: We can't reach them.

00:38:19
Speaker 6: My grandma then wished us we have to reach them where they are.

00:38:22
Speaker 7: And.

00:38:24
Speaker 9: Like, I love that you said that, like I asked God for something and then it happens.

00:38:29
Speaker 8: And the next step in that is like he ain't giving you the plan or the thing to be like, all right, God, I got you, hollert you next time. No, no, no, that is now your invitation to find out who he is. There is a it's a continual process. So the reason he keeps showing up for you that way is because he's like, at some point, my son's gonna come and sit with me. And I think sometimes the reason you can't find our answers externally is because.

00:38:52
Speaker 9: God wants to meet you you are.

00:38:55
Speaker 8: And so I think sometimes some things we can learn from other people, they can build on it. But by the way you think, I mean, God's gonna have to literally sit on your bed and tell you.

00:39:05
Speaker 9: Something you ain't never told nobody.

00:39:06
Speaker 8: And if you'll encounter him in a way that's gonna be like I know this is real, and no, it's gonna continue to have it that way. And then, to miss Lawrence's point earlier, then he'll show you.

00:39:19
Speaker 9: Okay, where can I go to church? Because I mean, I grew up in church. It's sometime I be like, what is going on here?

00:39:25
Speaker 1: But we need the church.

00:39:26
Speaker 9: It's how we raise families.

00:39:28
Speaker 8: It's how we are discipled because for the most part, we're having our own personal encounters. We opened up the Bible going what the heck does this mean? And so we need to be in a church that is discipling us and saying this is what it looks like to live this out because most of the time we grew up learning scriptures and had no idea what they meant.

00:39:43
Speaker 9: And it's like, oh, okay, right, but what does that mean for Monday through Saturday? And so I think like this is a safe space. Like you have people that are like, not please ask me all the questions, you know, and if I don't know, I'm gonna be like, you know what, I don't know.

00:39:58
Speaker 7: I would appreciate that because when you ask questions and people don't know, when they shun you, let me just tell you some bullshit.

00:40:04
Speaker 9: You be like, man, why you said you said?

00:40:06
Speaker 8: You could have been like you don't know. I know, I would be very I'm gonna be like nah, bro, I don't. I don't know that one, but I'm gonna find out. Like I'm gonna go, You're gonna help me become a secret as well. I'm gonna make sure I have an answer for you, Like I'm a seminary right now now, because I hate it.

00:40:17
Speaker 9: I absolutely hate it, like.

00:40:19
Speaker 8: I don't even like, but I want to learn for people like you so I can be like nah, like I do know that King James version is the most tampered with version of the Miles.

00:40:27
Speaker 9: They don't even acknowledge it. And on the scholar Like on the scholar side.

00:40:31
Speaker 7: In college, gene Wycliffe took so many words out and changed so many things because he wanted it to be a certain way, which is also what scared me when I was like how many generations?

00:40:41
Speaker 9: Yeah, you said how many?

00:40:42
Speaker 1: What he needs?

00:40:43
Speaker 9: That's crazy?

00:40:44
Speaker 6: You can't be doing that.

00:40:45
Speaker 9: But the N I V Is really really accurate, and it's.

00:40:49
Speaker 6: It's like Ladys was written one that like by multiple people.

00:40:55
Speaker 9: Yeah, so you need, you need, that's my thing?

00:40:59
Speaker 5: What is that?

00:41:01
Speaker 9: It's not everything? I mean Because here's the thing, bro, Like in older times before there was a Bible.

00:41:07
Speaker 8: That's why I keep telling you need to have an experience first, which will then filter how you experience the Bible. You need the Holy spirits to read the Bible, because if not, it's just words on a page.

00:41:15
Speaker 3: Well, that's what I was gonna say. It is you take from it and then you go to yes, because you can't. You don't. You can't listen to people to tell you who God is. You will learn him for yourself.

00:41:29
Speaker 2: And once that happens, then when you go back to those whichever book it is, and then you see him, it will then make sense. The words, all of them will come together and it will make sense. I tell people to me, the original was written.

00:41:46
Speaker 9: In Hebrew, angree and most of the words don't translate.

00:41:49
Speaker 2: The words don't translate, so nobody can tell me anything based on what they have.

00:41:56
Speaker 3: You believe and profits, and I believe even annoyance.

00:42:02
Speaker 2: Right, I will listen to those people because that doesn't come from a book, that doesn't come from a bid that comes from God, and he says, touch not my annoyance. I'm gonna sit and listen to them, not based on the book, because that means God has given them something to give to us, and I'm going to pay.

00:42:23
Speaker 3: Attention to them, which is why that goes back to what I said.

00:42:27
Speaker 2: I asked God to point me in the direction of the of the teacher that he needs me to hear from.

00:42:33
Speaker 9: I always ask this, Yeah, I think, yeah, yeah, because I live by the Bible.

00:42:42
Speaker 8: But because the same way you just said, like God would speak to a prophet and they will tell you what like what he said, same way the Bible was written, God spoke, I mean God spoke, but those people experienced because because you're in Bible times, there was not an actual scripture.

00:43:00
Speaker 9: They were orally testifying what happened, and then it was being put on paper.

00:43:04
Speaker 2: But so so my thing is, yes, is it all they they land and teaching everything from the Bible. However, I think because there there is a special annoying thing when it comes.

00:43:15
Speaker 9: To prophet for sure, But how do you know what they're seniors coming from God?

00:43:18
Speaker 5: I can tell you so just last week, it was last week week weeks ago, I was somewhere and there was a prophet there and a friend of mine was like, Hey, this is the prophet that's been praying over me for seventeen years. Everything he has said has come to pass. And I was like, oh, wow, well he need to speak over me.

00:43:42
Speaker 1: So he ends up calling and said, hey, probably wants to talk to you.

00:43:47
Speaker 5: There were things that I had literally just text my lawyer the day before that this man was saying that he had no idea like that. I so many things that are happening right now that he know me from Adam in my personal life that was having and I'm like, I know this is God. I know this guy telling me to move. I know this God tell me to start. It was something so simple as just starts. And I hit my lawyer about just those two words, and he was like, God is telling me to tell you just start, just start.

00:44:12
Speaker 1: Just start.

00:44:13
Speaker 5: I was like what.

00:44:14
Speaker 9: I was like, I just sent this email to my lawyer yesterday.

00:44:17
Speaker 1: You don't know.

00:44:20
Speaker 7: This is not It's not a made up story.

00:44:22
Speaker 3: She was like, D I got not.

00:44:23
Speaker 7: This is called just start. Then she spoke to the prophet and then she called me back. It was like, d you ain't gonna never said it happened just like that.

00:44:31
Speaker 1: And it was so many different things that he was.

00:44:33
Speaker 5: Saying and that I have been or you said, God gives you visions and then you start wondering is it just me or did God really put this in my heart?

00:44:39
Speaker 9: The man was like, God has like five things he wants.

00:44:42
Speaker 1: You to do at once. Because we started thinking we're crazy if we're doing too much. He was like, no, he all these things. He's planning you.

00:44:47
Speaker 7: He's just waiting on you to do them.

00:44:49
Speaker 5: And I was like, oh my, this But I think it's when he touches on things that you had personal conversations with God.

00:44:54
Speaker 8: That's how when I know that this is really when he finished, what did he say, Like, how did he finish?

00:44:59
Speaker 9: Like after you were after the what do you.

00:45:02
Speaker 1: Say like something like it was, yeah, I have recorded.

00:45:22
Speaker 5: Yeah.

00:45:23
Speaker 9: So the reason I asked not not that I doubt that, Like I'm like here for the prophet.

00:45:29
Speaker 8: We had like a holy counter and women together, So it's not that it's just that we also have to be aware that sources can have access to you the same way the Holy Spirit, and so what I would say will also be like a determinity factor even for people watching this, because somebody find your child not from the Lord, and so I think that we prophesying part, but the goal of that is that always pushes you back to the Lord. So I think like if a person makes it about them, like because I knew I did that, right, Like you gotta be careful because it's a line, and so I say, I would say, like a telltale sign for people watching who encounter like Jesus that way, it's like, did this person exalt and push me back to Jesus?

00:46:12
Speaker 9: Because that's the that should be the source.

00:46:14
Speaker 7: And when it's not, that would be because Kirk Franklin did that last night. He stood up there and smiled and everybody started cheering and he said no, no, no, no, no, not me God, which to me, I was like that was wild, powerful and deliberate. And then the thing is they started cheering louder because he.

00:46:31
Speaker 3: Was like no, I was like, d ain't I as powerful?

00:46:34
Speaker 7: No, Like seeing that last night was like he was like, don't give.

00:46:36
Speaker 9: It to me, give it to him because we are vessels.

00:46:40
Speaker 8: So it's like this, I couldn't sit here and talk to y'all. It's the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, like I don't know nothing, Like it's him. And so I think, like when someone wants to minister to you, that.

00:46:50
Speaker 6: Should be their heart posture.

00:46:52
Speaker 8: Is that without God, I couldn't do this, Like it's the Holy Spirit. That's empowering me to be able to live it out.

00:46:57
Speaker 5: That's so good.

00:46:57
Speaker 6: Yeah.

00:46:58
Speaker 5: Something I want to ask all of you, because you all have such amazing journeys, pinpoint a point in your life where your faith was tested, where you really had to question God or even one if your existenceuse.

00:47:09
Speaker 6: I know I've had those moments. Well, we definitely know. My faith was tested when I was in prison.

00:47:21
Speaker 4: And even though I knew I was wrong, go broke the law like and not just the not just the law, but I went against God and I knew better. We all know to who much is given, much is required. But I can say that my faith was really tested in the thick of it. I knew God, I knew I wasn't not gonna do thirty years. I knew I wasn't gonna do thirty years. But it's like faith would.

00:47:44
Speaker 6: Make you look crazy. People would begin to think you were crazy.

00:47:47
Speaker 4: So when people would ask me when I was going home, I would say next year, and make sure would come and I'll still be there.

00:47:55
Speaker 6: And then it got to the point where I woke up.

00:47:56
Speaker 4: And I told him, I said, don't call me in g anymore, call me from because I felt like every time somebody said free, they were in agreements, and so I wanted to answer to the offices, call me free, call me free, because that's what I'm gonna be.

00:48:13
Speaker 6: I'm gonna be free, and I'm gonna go.

00:48:15
Speaker 4: I'm I begin to write my book in prison, and people will say, what is she writing a book for? She is crazy, her time is getting to her. I'm writing a book because that's what. It's not a New York Times bestseller yet, but it's published. It's I came home and it's yeah, it's so. And I begin to tell God. I said, now, God, I'm helping everybody else get out of prison. I had started writing motions for people and they were leaving. And the hardest time came when I watched my friendly they told me I was in It was during COVID and they called up there. I was in confinement and they said, Karen got immediate release. And I was like, wait a minute, Jesus, wait one minute.

00:48:58
Speaker 6: Now, wait a minute. I'm helping that everybody else go and it's working for them.

00:49:02
Speaker 4: And then it really was hard because this girl was not gonna fil for clemency right, and I encouraged. I'm like no, you gotta fil you gotta file. And I said, well here, she said, I don't know how to do it. I said, take my application, take my name off of it, put your name.

00:49:16
Speaker 6: Just change the information, y'all. President Obama granted her clemency. Mom's got denied my paper.

00:49:25
Speaker 4: That's my And I said, well, I called my father boohoo, crying and I'm like, Daddy.

00:49:30
Speaker 6: What's up with your guy? What's your homeboy saying? Because how is Crystal free? And I'm still in prison?

00:49:37
Speaker 4: And that was my paperwork. Yeah, but that was the time that I really had to be like I cried and for three days late there.

00:49:45
Speaker 6: But then I had to get up and wash my favor and I had to continue to start back to throw God say, throw it in his face. You know how people throw some of your face. Take there for you.

00:49:53
Speaker 4: That's what I do, what God want? God, you said that the prisoners free. Hello, I'm still a prisoner. What are you gonna say?

00:50:00
Speaker 6: Friend? I begin to say, you know, greatest, he that's in me, then he that's in the world.

00:50:04
Speaker 4: I had to begin to speak that thing over my life, and you know, January thirteenth, I walked out of prison a free woman.

00:50:12
Speaker 9: Because faith and faith until you can't see it, We're.

00:50:15
Speaker 6: Like, I feel like, yes, yes, but you don't understand that when you're going you.

00:50:25
Speaker 9: Crystal, Crystal be there, she would still be there.

00:50:30
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it all worked together the good of those who loved you know, for you know, for yourself. When you in the middle of it, you can't see you be like, now God put you up to or it.

00:50:46
Speaker 2: Was time that I'd be like, but I have to ask you this with their moments where He sent you signs that I still got you.

00:50:54
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, yes, for sure, God, I'm in the middle of that.

00:50:57
Speaker 4: Now God sent the calling my mother of another color, she you know, Caucasian woman. And when I tell y'all, this lady fought for my freedom as if she had birthed me herself. She fought and she said, I'm gonna see you to the end of the door.

00:51:12
Speaker 6: And that's what she did. So when she came into my life, it was like, Okay, I'm still here.

00:51:17
Speaker 3: And then just.

00:51:18
Speaker 4: Then things that was not even directly tied to my freedom, like me asking God to keep my parents because there was a fear of mind.

00:51:26
Speaker 6: You know, I was older when I got to travel thirty years old.

00:51:29
Speaker 4: My parents was already in their fifty so I was saying, God, please don't allow my.

00:51:33
Speaker 6: Parents to leave this earth woman.

00:51:35
Speaker 1: So he turned me.

00:51:37
Speaker 9: Yeah and all of that.

00:51:38
Speaker 4: Yeah, he covered them. He kept and they seventy three. They're alive and well and not on any blood pressure medication. Lord keep my kid, you know.

00:51:46
Speaker 1: And he did it.

00:51:46
Speaker 6: So it was times that he always showed me like, I got you. In even some of the officers were super nice than me.

00:51:52
Speaker 4: When I was in confinement for seventeen months, seventeen months confined in the room because the government is just trying to get me to tell on other people, using me as an intimidation factor, it was still.

00:52:05
Speaker 6: Like God still had me in that moment. He still kept me. He was just like, no, you my daughter, I got you.

00:52:10
Speaker 4: And I used to tell them to you know, some of the guards that sneak me, you know, fool because they just felt bad. And I would tell them, y'all when I go home, y'all gonna see me, y'all gonna see me. Even you know, girls that thought I was crazy, they say, oh, don't pay her no attention.

00:52:24
Speaker 6: She's just crazy. She's crazy, she's lost her mind her time has got through it, but now they're on my social media scene.

00:52:34
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:52:34
Speaker 4: I continue to give God all the glory because it is Him who I live and I'm moving, I have my being, and I also know that I have a greater responsibility and we have to carry it out. But definitely times that my faith was tested, and even now coming home. You know, you want things to happen the way that you want to happen, and I look and I feel like I'm not where I want to be, but I thank God that I'm.

00:52:58
Speaker 1: Not with my mother, you know.

00:53:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's even throughout this walk, as I continue, I'm free in mind, body and spirit, but it's still times that I have to be like, Okay, Lord.

00:53:08
Speaker 6: Where you at? You said you was gonna do such and su and you haven't did it.

00:53:12
Speaker 4: And even being here in this moment, I have to say it like the way that I met a Shauna right met her through somebody, a mutual friend, and she said to me, she said, didn't you just get a warding church?

00:53:25
Speaker 6: Didn't even know where attended the same church?

00:53:27
Speaker 4: Yeah, but just things that I told her, you know, shared my deepest dreams were her and how she's been able I believe God put people in your life to aid you along, to carry your dream, you know, through and then just say here, just sit here amongst y'all, you know what I mean.

00:53:42
Speaker 6: Just thankful in this space and in this time. It's just another that God saying.

00:53:47
Speaker 1: I got you. Yeah, I got you.

00:53:49
Speaker 6: Sure, Yeah I got you.

00:53:50
Speaker 1: Sure I.

00:53:53
Speaker 7: Want to know.

00:53:56
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:53:56
Speaker 7: I was at the point in my life where like.

00:54:00
Speaker 10: Everything was off. Everything I'm talking about health, full blood pressure, pad. I was over four hundred and thirty pounds.

00:54:09
Speaker 11: I wasn't forty yet, like shoot, relationships with fam, relationships like family friends and these women, like nothing was at working, investments, work, nothing, work.

00:54:26
Speaker 10: I went through like a two year period at and I was like I had to sit down and check.

00:54:31
Speaker 3: Myself, like what are you doing?

00:54:34
Speaker 7: What are you doing?

00:54:36
Speaker 10: And when I really sat down and like locked myself in that room and had to face myself, it's all on me. Yeah, like you can't listen, nobody can help you but you. So I had to dig deep, like I'm still I'm still getting out of it. But you know, it's like I'm at a space where I'm alright, I know what caused it.

00:54:58
Speaker 11: I know how to get out of it, and I know, if I keep my faith, I'm gonna.

00:55:02
Speaker 3: Be all right.

00:55:03
Speaker 6: That's right.

00:55:04
Speaker 1: What about you?

00:55:05
Speaker 2: Oh several times the first time when I really really had a moment where he like sent somebody. I had never experienced this before.

00:55:19
Speaker 3: I was in the process of I had this idea to.

00:55:23
Speaker 2: Open up a chain of new salons when I was in a beauty I was in a beauty industry, and I wanted to open.

00:55:28
Speaker 3: Up a chain of new salons. At this time, I was also on the show Star. We were in our I think we were in our first season, maybe second season. I was like, I want to do this. I want to do this now.

00:55:42
Speaker 2: While thinking I'm about to do these salons, my body is getting extremely tired, my mind is getting really tired. I'm starting to become sick because I'm juggling being an actor, becoming a better actor, which you know takes practice, takes you know, patience. But I was also a full time hairstylists at the same time, so I literally was scheduling clients around what my film schedule would be. And then when I got off from the salon and I had to go home and study my lines and stuff to get to work.

00:56:12
Speaker 3: And make sure I deliver properly. So I was becoming sick. So I had this idea. I said, well, if I opened up start.

00:56:19
Speaker 2: The first chain of these salons, that could essentially just kind of run themselves, I don't really have to be there. That'll set me up where I can really walk away. So I went around, I kept looking for spaces. I'm like, had this is a great space. I never had a problem I could. I could open a salon with my eyes closed. But this time, every new space I found, we would get there almost there where I'm about to about to send me a lease, and they're like, all the developers said they.

00:56:44
Speaker 3: Don't want to do a salon here da D D D. It would be all kind of crazy stuff back to back. I'm like, what is going on? And getting I'm still very tired. Now I'm getting now I'm questioning. I'm like, well, God, what is going on? Like what is this?

00:56:56
Speaker 2: And I remember talking to one of my spiritual sisters one time and she said and I told her, I said, I don't know what to do. I said, I'm I'm tired, and I don't my body is is is breaking down? Like little I was turning dark losing weight. It was terrible. And she said, have you you need to pray like you need? I said I have she said, she said.

00:57:16
Speaker 6: No, no, you have to break for a moment. Yeah.

00:57:21
Speaker 3: And I said okay.

00:57:22
Speaker 2: And I said, well, maybe I haven't done that because we get caught up in our cardinal cells sometimes and.

00:57:27
Speaker 3: Don't do what we know we're supposed to do and let this go to the source.

00:57:30
Speaker 2: So I went home that night, cut off everything, and I got on my knees, I lit my candles and I just prayed.

00:57:37
Speaker 3: And I said, God, I need you to show me. I need you to tell me what it is that I need to be doing. What is it you want? What do you see for me? And and I left it there. I left it. I cried out. I left it there. Two months later, I was sitting in Houston's.

00:57:56
Speaker 2: This at this time it was on Liox Road. This woman stops by my booth. I was with one of my closest friends. This lady stopped by my booth. I never seen her day in my life. She lays her hand on my shoulder and she said, stop stressing over that salon. I swear to you just like that, She said, stop stressing over that salon. I'm thinking, maybe she's a cliet of she's she's going to one of my my stylists, and she's maybe had heard me going off.

00:58:26
Speaker 3: And I said, I said, I said, do you are you? Do you call to myself? She said no, she said God told me to tell you to let it go. So I got in the car.

00:58:38
Speaker 2: I turned on Donnie mcclark and and Derenda Clark cold let it go. And then I began to write my letter to my clients and then a letter to my staff. And I mean a baby, but I tell you I had to keep turning because I was it was and fast forward bumped the series regular.

00:59:02
Speaker 3: You know, got bumped the series regular.

00:59:04
Speaker 2: Right after that, you know, I got offered a Billie Holiday movie, and you know things were great.

00:59:10
Speaker 3: Now, let me also add every pinnacle moment of my career. Thus far, I've not had an agent. I've not been able to secure the agent.

00:59:20
Speaker 2: I've not been able to have proper management because I was always told that I was unusual talent and they don't know what the pitch would be.

00:59:30
Speaker 3: However, everything I've done has been top tier. Yes, so right there, he showed me I'm your agent.

00:59:39
Speaker 1: It's right.

00:59:39
Speaker 3: But even at that I still was like, well, God, can you send this person?

00:59:45
Speaker 6: Got an agent?

00:59:46
Speaker 7: This person?

00:59:47
Speaker 3: I don't understand what's the difference.

00:59:48
Speaker 7: But I left alone.

00:59:49
Speaker 2: I said, Okay, God, I know obviously you got me again. You keep showing me signs I get a new job or whatever case and be fast forward. Now here we are we're going to a pandemic, going to a strike. The coins have run completely out. I don't have anybody in human form working on my behalf to secure me new deals and new jobs and stuff. And so for the last two three years, I don't know, I have literally been operating on my spiritual savings account.

01:00:22
Speaker 3: We talk about my spiritual.

01:00:24
Speaker 2: Savings account and that God has placed a village that is so strong and so rich in my life that I have not There are a lot of things that I want for, and I mean everything from mortgage payments, everything from water, everything from making sure my mother is taking care of because I lost my father last year and that that.

01:00:50
Speaker 3: Was a whole new thing I had to take on. And so because I.

01:00:54
Speaker 2: Learned from my first experience to not answered him and just trust him while I get uncomfortable, a lot I get it.

01:01:06
Speaker 3: I don't like how it feels. I get very uncomfortable from not having a car to a friend of mine, like take my car and keep it till you get another one.

01:01:13
Speaker 2: Like all of that as uncomfortable as it's being, I can't explain why I still have.

01:01:20
Speaker 3: Yes, there is a piece that I cannot explain. Yes, I have no lack, no lack, I have no lack, but also no money.

01:01:31
Speaker 6: Yeah.

01:01:32
Speaker 3: And so what God showed me was I am the richest, I am the resource. I provide the abundance.

01:01:40
Speaker 4: I'm the supplier of all your leeds.

01:01:44
Speaker 1: Not a job, gosh, not a job, for sure.

01:01:48
Speaker 2: And so to answer the question, God has shown up and showed me who he was so many times and through every uh hard or hurdle or or tribulation, you name it, he has. He has kept my peace. He's he's given me a sense of miracle, signs and wonder yeah, for me to for me to stay sane and just trust him and and it works.

01:02:16
Speaker 1: That's amazing.

01:02:17
Speaker 5: Now the value I and miss Lawrence, and I mean, what's she work in the entertainment.

01:02:22
Speaker 1: Industry as well. But Hollywood and God do not mix, you know. They always try to say hey, don't say God or Jesus just or say God. Don't say Jesus. Yeah, I thank you God.

01:02:34
Speaker 5: Like no, like they they tell us to like not do those things. I haven't really been told that, but we know it. It's like an unspoken thing. Has there been anything that projects or boundaries that you set within your career because of your faith or things or just your personal beliefs or things that you like.

01:02:52
Speaker 3: I'm not doing that.

01:02:53
Speaker 7: Yeah. I've had one role where Lord it was a it was a rape scene.

01:02:56
Speaker 3: Wow, yeah, and I just refuse to do it.

01:02:59
Speaker 7: I just was like this something about that and that, and they were like, well, that's a thestpion and that said I get it, but I can use my tool for what I want to perpetuate. And the person that I was raped was not a woman of color. And I'm like, you expect me, as a black man to do this, I'm not doing that. I'm just I'm not doing it. And it was it was a small short film that you know, was supposed to give me some opportunities to go and I was like, I'm not doing thathing my kid's gonna have to watch people. And the thing is the things you put out in the world people see and how people getting introduced to you. Sometimes they can never get that back. And I never wanted someone to see me in that position. And I didn't care if the story because the story was actually a really good story. But I said, I cannot play that role. I just I refuse to do it.

01:03:43
Speaker 1: I'm the same way.

01:03:44
Speaker 5: I have boundaries, like what I show in my body, and you know, those intant scenes together and you always make sure I'm safe and that I'm protected and covered where I don't want to be shown.

01:03:55
Speaker 1: And there's there was a.

01:03:58
Speaker 5: It was I had a scene where it wasn't showing the rape, but it was the after math of the race. It just illuded that she had gotten rape but it just happened. And even in that I was like, but it was telling a true story. So I was like, okay, as a story and that certain needs to be told. So I had an audition for it, but someone else ended up getting it. I was it between me and this other person. But I even had to call my dad. Was like, Dad, like, is it had to do this? And he was like, what's the story?

01:04:28
Speaker 3: You know?

01:04:28
Speaker 5: He was like, and what are you having the show? Like it's not showing that part. And he was like, okay, so it's just the after math and the effect that I asked you. But there's like certain I've always said I'll never do, like any like demonic movies or movies that like will torture my soul afterwards.

01:04:42
Speaker 1: Certain things like I'm scary anyway.

01:04:44
Speaker 7: So yeah, so I'm.

01:04:49
Speaker 1: Always like, there are certain things I just want to do. The horror.

01:04:51
Speaker 5: I'm not really into that anyway. So there are certain things I won't do. But because of my founded my faith, I do have boundaries that I said, what a.

01:05:03
Speaker 2: Not yet I've not come across anything yet where I'm just like, no, that does not align with you know, my spirit. I am very I'm good about taking myself out of the equation when I'm offered a role or but I take my time and get to know who.

01:05:18
Speaker 3: This person is that I'm about to take one. And if I feel like like how you go to your father and ask him like, is this someone whose story definitely needs to be told? And am I the person to do it?

01:05:32
Speaker 2: And if so, I want to fully fully commit if that person, whatever insecurities that person might have had, give them to me in.

01:05:40
Speaker 3: That moment, you know, because I want to do them. I want to do them justice.

01:05:44
Speaker 2: And the only role, the role that I felt that the most was when I played Miss Freddy in the United States versus Billie Holiday, because he was a person whose name was never spoken because of who he was during the forty and fifties era, because he chose to live honest, honest and out loud, and so I wanted to give him everything that I could and that the director would allow me to get.

01:06:10
Speaker 1: He did amazing.

01:06:12
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know, you were just in Deliverance and that was a movie that it was a lot of different conversations around that movie. But I found out that you all had a pastor on set that prayed, and you guys were actually telling a true story.

01:06:26
Speaker 6: Yes, and that's what people kind of missed.

01:06:28
Speaker 1: It was like And at first I was like, I'm scared to watch it.

01:06:30
Speaker 6: They're like, no, it's a true storm.

01:06:31
Speaker 3: I was like, okay.

01:06:32
Speaker 5: I was like that I can get into it, because sometimes when you just feel like they're like making up this stuff, but like, that was a real true story that when I found you guys had a pastor.

01:06:39
Speaker 1: And that I was like, wow, that's he.

01:06:42
Speaker 2: Was on set the whole time, and he came by to everybody's trailer. Well of course you had to say it was okay for to come, and he came. He prayed and told us why he was doing this, why he was called and all this kind of stuff, and it was it was that was that was quite an experience.

01:06:59
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can image and one of the directors, Jackson, he was an atheist.

01:07:05
Speaker 6: When y'all started filming that movie. I just found this out. He was an atheist. And now he said his kids Christian school and everything. The story, Yeah, he came from.

01:07:16
Speaker 4: He told me this like just last week, and he was saying it came from y'all prayed every day before y'all got started and everything. And I just was like you, I said you was. He's like, no, I was an atheist. I just did not believe or anything.

01:07:28
Speaker 6: And he's and he's saying, now, yeah, I will meet you wherever.

01:07:40
Speaker 7: I watched my dad bro like my dad, you never met my part. I'll never forget this. My father came home working from Chase mahind Bank broad Off today. You told me you was walking on to college. You said you had me the first semester I got you broke got to provide and walked away. Little I kid you not. He had I think he had a three month contract left. The last day of the contract school, you can tell the story because I'm not lying. The last day of the contract, he's there. You know, he's getting ready to leave. No one else is there.

01:08:20
Speaker 3: This is his last day.

01:08:21
Speaker 7: He's like, let me make sure everything is cool. While he's walking out of guy saysint Troy, I'm glad I saw you. I'm doing a contract over at Sundow. I wonder if you're interested. The next day, they hired my father as a what is it called down the contractor when you help people build their business, a consultant and had to get paid time and a half. So he got paid more money consulting than he was working.

01:08:45
Speaker 3: At the job.

01:08:46
Speaker 6: And he was at that job for the next four years.

01:08:49
Speaker 7: And when I watch that, I'm like, I'm like my father, the time was coming down and he jollied every day going to work.

01:08:56
Speaker 3: And I'm like, you're not stressed.

01:08:58
Speaker 1: He said, no, got faith, never seen a righteous.

01:09:03
Speaker 7: You know what scared me though, and y'all can tell me what it scared you. I was afraid that if I don't have faith like that. I was going to hell, and I was like, whatever type of faith my father got, I want that. I don't know how to get it.

01:09:18
Speaker 3: And that's what I'm.

01:09:18
Speaker 7: Spending the rest of my life trying to get because the way you talk about God, the way you talk about God, I just I'm like, y'all have gone through things, and I'm like, Okay, maybe it hasn't been my time yet, but I will say listening to you speak, you speak, you speak as a woman of great knowledge and wisdom, but also very genuine.

01:09:40
Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying, We just don't go don't don't go to prison.

01:10:04
Speaker 3: I appreciate all of them, and I really do.

01:10:06
Speaker 9: Thank you. Questions.

01:10:09
Speaker 7: Yeah, well that's that's Chris, what she told me this. I was like, all right, well, I'm gonna come here and ask because I knew she would, you know, protect me with people that's.

01:10:16
Speaker 3: Not gonna look at me like what.

01:10:17
Speaker 7: Is wrong with this guy?

01:10:25
Speaker 1: That's what I wanted.

01:10:26
Speaker 5: I wanted to create a safe space that we all could be free to ask the questions that we want to ask, talk about our truths, and really just get some knowledge.

01:10:32
Speaker 1: Because Brenda is a wealth of knowledge.

01:10:34
Speaker 9: I asked her questions.

01:10:35
Speaker 5: About everything, We'll be going through a whole dinner and I haven't.

01:10:39
Speaker 1: She's like, inside, I'm waiting for it.

01:10:43
Speaker 9: You waited an hour.

01:10:47
Speaker 1: Yes, so seriously, thank you guys. I am.

01:10:50
Speaker 5: I just recently went through a time where I was questioning if this whole being out loud about God and Jesus was even worth it, because as we say that Christians can be so judgmental, they can be some of the I'm talking about just cruel people, you know, especially like.

01:11:09
Speaker 1: On the internet what we see all the time.

01:11:12
Speaker 5: And as I was being more and more out allowed and just transparent about me not being perfect, then it's like people come at you even harder. And even got to the podcast, I was like, I feel like my podcast becoming too turchy, Like I'm not there. I don't want to talk about God, Like, let's just keep it cool for I want them to see who I am, Like, let's have different people on and here we are our first episode talking about guy.

01:11:38
Speaker 9: Yes, I think like.

01:11:40
Speaker 8: Something I feel like I always work through is how do I hold truth and what I believe but also makes space for your journey and the Internet doesn't allow that. They just see the one moment and they don't consider, oh, she's journeying through this the same way.

01:11:58
Speaker 5: I am, absolutely And that's what I want Christians to really do more of, like understand that we're all on different paths, all in different parts of the journey, but we're all on a journey together. And if we give each other like Okay, let where are you? Okay, I see where you are, let me help you on the way, versus like literally like you ever hear doing that, you.

01:12:22
Speaker 7: Do more.

01:12:25
Speaker 8: And I think it we have a responsibility as believers to see like okay, dang, Chris needs help. So the first thing I was like, Okay, I'm here to serve you, like let me know. And that's what it's about, Like I'm gonna get on the journey with you together.

01:12:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, I appreciate it all together all right.

01:12:40
Speaker 5: So I know everyone has amazing things going on and things on horizon. I want an audience to support you because the kIPS and the Sweeties family, when I tell you, they are right adized and if we say go support it, I know.

01:12:55
Speaker 1: That I'll start with you. I know you got some dope things going on.

01:12:57
Speaker 7: Yeah, first and foremost, make sure you Sisters every Wednesday on BT Make sure you stream is a team on every Thursday on BT Plus. Make sure you're tuning into Netflix November six, Meet Me next Christmas starting Me and Christina Milian. Make sure you're tune in the Dead Ass Podcasts every Wednesday on iHeartRadio wherever you get your podcasts. And in March, make sure you go check out O That on Broadway. I'm a co producer Alongsime Brian Moreland, So go check those things out.

01:13:26
Speaker 1: Yes, give me.

01:13:32
Speaker 6: No everybody.

01:13:34
Speaker 4: I have a book out Pit to Palace Mentality, and it's ten key principles to see your way through your worst situation and some good principles in there. It's available on Amazon. Also, my nonprofit is almost tax Time. Y'all need to write off chance to change, and it's geared towards children who parents are incarcerated and right now we have a heavy focus on fighting crime. We know the gun balance is super high at Atlanta amongst the ages of twelve to sixteen years old, so we're trying to stop that trajectory or whatever.

01:14:03
Speaker 6: In the podcast, it's on all platforms. Break Free for You spell p h R E E. I still go by that.

01:14:11
Speaker 4: All right, So it's it's available wherever audio is and it comes on YouTube every Tuesday. Make sure y'all tune in, make sure y'all support your girl and Christal. I want to thank you for allowing me to be on your platform. Thank you for giving me a space to speak and you didn't even know me. Thank you for taking a chance on me. And to the viewers, I want to tell y'all that nothing is impossible with God.

01:14:35
Speaker 7: And.

01:14:38
Speaker 1: Thank you. Your story is so dynamic and I just love what you're doing, so I'm to have you here.

01:14:43
Speaker 6: Thank you.

01:14:52
Speaker 9: If he said, I know those words. I have a podcast called Life and Perspective with Brenda Palmer. It comes out every Monday.

01:15:06
Speaker 8: Y'all just really be on the gram like dropping gyms every day, hanging out with the people, going live.

01:15:11
Speaker 6: It's just what I do.

01:15:12
Speaker 8: So you can follow me at I am Brenda Palmer everywhere, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and I have my first book coming out, but it comes out next June, but you gotta follow me to get all the details. It's called The Journey of Yes, The everyday Adventure of radical obedience.

01:15:37
Speaker 9: Was waiting.

01:15:40
Speaker 1: Is not the one that no one was more accurate.

01:15:44
Speaker 8: Yes, so it comes out June of twenty twenty five. I'm super duper excited and thank you for creating this space for us.

01:15:52
Speaker 1: You inspired this. I appreciate thanks for coming all the way from Los Angeles.

01:15:58
Speaker 9: MS.

01:15:58
Speaker 1: Love.

01:16:00
Speaker 3: I think this is my camera here.

01:16:03
Speaker 1: You got it is.

01:16:05
Speaker 3: Follow me on social media, Miss Lawrence and my ss Lawrence.

01:16:11
Speaker 2: I am going into a new journey of real estate while I'm waiting on my next project, which is scheduled to begin in twenty twenty five. There is still a working title. I don't know if they're set on the title yet, but I can tell y'all this because he put it out there. I'm gonna be a detective. Will be your next.

01:16:31
Speaker 3: Next detective on your TV screens, just stay tuned.

01:16:34
Speaker 6: Fine.

01:16:35
Speaker 2: And also, I started a movement I'm calling it Plated Purpose, which I created to bridge the gap, or to aid and bridge the gap between the black LGBTQ community and the black straight community. It's something that I'm very passionate about, something that I think is very necessary, only because we are so disconnected, and only because we don't fully really understand each other and know each other. So Crystal, thank you for moments like this, because this is what it is, and this is this is very reflective actually of what Play the Purpose is. So follow me and stay tuned because there's a lot more coming with Play the Purpose.

01:17:14
Speaker 10: So well, you can first catch everything well all things crystal and next, but I also have a bigger, tall men's clothing line coming out one big Fellow, you call big smooth.

01:17:37
Speaker 3: It's coming. Don't you worry, It's.

01:17:40
Speaker 7: Coming, I Q one.

01:17:45
Speaker 1: Guys, thank you so much.

01:17:46
Speaker 5: Seriously, I feel like conversations like this are what people need you who are seeking that knowledge, who are seeking wisdom and just trying to get close to God, and really don't know how I appreciate you. Guys. We were just a woman evolved and they were saying that the likely ones are gonna be the ones that are rising up touching people, and.

01:18:03
Speaker 1: I feel like this conversation is definitely gonna do that.

01:18:05
Speaker 5: So one of the reasons I love the conversations that we have on this show is because they leave me so full and I learned so much. One of my biggest takeaways from this talk is, Guys, we are so much more like than not on this phase journey, So give each other grace, don't be so judgmental and be there for one another. Thank you, guys so much for spending some time with me today. You can follow me on all platforms at love Chris Ornee, and you can also follow our show at Keep It Positive Sweetie. If you wanna write into our positive Outcomes listener letter, you can send us an email at keep It Positive Sweetie at gmail dot com. In the meantime, in between time, y'all already know what to do. Keep it Positive, sweety. I'll see you guys next time.

01:19:00
Speaker 9: Gitar a gitar

01:19:16
Speaker 5: A gitar