Stillness, Clarity & the Courage to Transform

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Calling all my sweetish to the forefront.

00:00:03
Speaker 2: I'm your host, Christians, and this is to keep it positive.

00:00:06
Speaker 1: Sweetish show.

00:00:10
Speaker 2: Welcome to keep it positive. Swede the place where we heal, grow and learn together. Today's guest is pastor, author and thought leader whose work challenges us to slow down, tune.

00:00:20
Speaker 1: In, and trust the voice within. With his new book, Knowing.

00:00:24
Speaker 2: The Journey to Certainty in an Uncertain World, he invites us into a deeper understanding of clarity, discernment, and what it really means to trust ourselves in.

00:00:33
Speaker 1: A world full of noise.

00:00:35
Speaker 2: I am so glad to be sitting down with Terray Roberts. Today's guest is someone whose message goes beyond inspiration.

00:00:43
Speaker 1: It's about transformation.

00:00:45
Speaker 2: Known for his ability to break down complex spiritual truths into something practical and personal, he's helped so many people navigate identity, purpose, and inner clarity. In his new book, Knowing the Journey to Certainty and an Uncertain World, he explores what it looks like to move through life with certainty, not because everything is figured out, but because you've learned how to trust what's already inside of you. This conversation isn't just about answers. It's about what happens when you learn to listen differently. Kid's family, please give a very one. Welcome to Terrey Roberts, Terray, how.

00:01:21
Speaker 3: You doing great?

00:01:23
Speaker 1: You are here. We had Sarah on before.

00:01:28
Speaker 3: And it was at the house.

00:01:29
Speaker 1: At the house we moved. You know, we've elevated, We've evolved. Woman eat.

00:01:36
Speaker 3: Clearly.

00:01:36
Speaker 2: No, it was one of those things where the podcast grew so much, and you know, home is your safe space.

00:01:42
Speaker 1: So I had to find a place where.

00:01:43
Speaker 2: People can bring their crew and the posse whoever they want to bring, and I not feel like when I go to sleep at night, they'renna run back up on me.

00:01:50
Speaker 3: Yes, understood, listen start you know.

00:01:54
Speaker 2: But yeah, I love it. And God has been so good what he's done with this platform. But I want to talk about you. You are doing so many amazing things, got a new book, your podcast.

00:02:06
Speaker 1: I feel like.

00:02:08
Speaker 2: How I see you now and the way you are showing up in our community is not just from the ministry lens.

00:02:15
Speaker 1: What made you say I'm going.

00:02:16
Speaker 2: To step out and really like focus on all these other talents and gifts that I had to actually serve our community.

00:02:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's amazing. I am. Many may not know this, but I started in business. Wow, so my background is tech. I'm a tech entrepreneur. And so for me, even starting at church was rooted in me wanting to scale the impact that Christ was having in my life. So I got really touched. In two thousand and I started talking to all my friends in business. They started getting touched one on one, and so the entrepreneur in me said, how do I get the maximum result for this energy that I'm putting out? So for me, starting the church was like listen, instead of talking to people one on one, can create a system and set up a structure where I can touch fifty people, one hundred people, and then it became thousands and more. So but I realized that there are people who are called not just to church, but can have greater impact outside the church. So even pastoring Hollywood taught me.

00:03:21
Speaker 1: That that's amazing.

00:03:22
Speaker 2: And then you went to have one church, La, which is where I was first introduced to you. And every time I was in La, I would go to your service, send a lot of people there to them, like you're looking for a church, because I'm like you and living in LA, you need to be in a church like, it's so many distractions in Los Angeles, so you need to have that foundation. And your church was one of those churches I feel like really resonated, especially with the youth and people who were lost and looking for some type of home and belonging. You really did that, and you said to talk about people are being called the same of your podcast.

00:03:53
Speaker 1: It's what made you say, I'm going to call it the called.

00:03:57
Speaker 3: I think that when people think about a calling automatically go to a church men talent. They think, I'm called to be a preacher. I'm called to be a worship leader, maybe a deacon. And I wanted to expand the concept of what it means to be called because I do think that business is a calling. I think that science is a calling. So I wanted to expand that and then show them how to be called in that space. You can go to theological school if you want to be a preacher, and that's wonderful. But who teaches the person who's called to start companies? Who teaches the person who's called to be a scientist and create, by the spirit of God, groundbreaking health solutions. I said, I guess I gotta.

00:04:44
Speaker 2: Be I love that That's so good because, like you said, people automatically first go to ministry, and that is not everybody's calling.

00:04:52
Speaker 1: It is not.

00:04:52
Speaker 2: But there's so many things that you can that God has blessed us with that we can really tap into and still have that foundation and lean on this of Him knowing that he's our source, yes, but knowing that it doesn't just have to be this.

00:05:04
Speaker 1: We talked about being a monolith. We're not a monolith. There's so many different things we can do.

00:05:08
Speaker 2: And I love that you are tapping into that and letting people know, Hey, find your superpower.

00:05:13
Speaker 1: Let's lean into that. I absolutely done that very well.

00:05:15
Speaker 3: Because we Christal we need it. I need that scientist who knows the Lord and can get in there and make a decision not only a scientific decision, but a kingdom decision about something that can affect millions of lives on a continent of Africa or an India, what have you. I need that person. I need that creative person who is getting ready to put out content all over the world and the Internet and every other place distribution channel. I need that person to see it as a calling so when they're in the room, they can just sometimes just a little tweak in the script yep, or a little change in how you carry out that scene can invite God and sometimes without yelling that it's God, but projecting the essence of God. And so so I said, I got to do it. I need that person who has this business acumen that can create systems. Business. Business will get you into doors that church can't come on. Business will get you the ear of the king, the ear of the president, of the of the world, of any nation. So somebody needed to pour. And I'm not saying I'm the only one, but because I have that background and see, so that's my calling exactly is is preaching and I love preaching. That's a wonderful boss. But I'm passionate about activating people and what they're called. Yeah.

00:06:39
Speaker 2: So hearing this now, I can imagine how hands on and instrumental you are in Woman Evolved, something that has grown into this massive weekend that women from all over the world come to. I'm telling this to be my I've done it for three years straight. This will be my fourth year. And when I tell you it is i Ve transformed every single time. But the way you guys do everything is like if I feel the tech. I feel like everything that you're talking about is already inside of you. I can see it all inside this this one event.

00:07:16
Speaker 1: How is that building that?

00:07:17
Speaker 2: And like are you I can tell I'm pretty sure your very hands on with that part of it.

00:07:22
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, you know, my wife is an incredible.

00:07:26
Speaker 1: My girl.

00:07:28
Speaker 3: Yeah, she loves you like crazy. I love her does and she she's incredible. And my blessing has been we've been able to augment one another's strengths, you know. And so I mean she is she's a powerful business woman, very creative, and so what she misses I catch that, and what I miss she catches and uh. And then even to the point of call the people that we've assembled, you know, there's a lot of negotiation. Let's just keep on just love Business's a lot of you know, we're in the back talking real time, making decisions. But it's been amazing to watch her floor sheet for me represents really my calling, you know, to to support, to help, to anchor, to facilitate, to give strategic advice, and then to watch it flourish and so and then I get to be married to her and have a family with her and live life with her.

00:08:26
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see you on the sidelines, even a woman evolved when she's preaching you. Just looking at her, I'm like, he is proud and so full of so much do I can see it watching.

00:08:36
Speaker 1: Your queen thrives.

00:08:37
Speaker 3: It's beautiful.

00:08:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. I love that.

00:08:40
Speaker 2: Well, you are here. We are talking about your fourth book. Yes, she is an author, y'all. It's fourth book, Knowing the Journey to Certainty in an Uncertain World?

00:08:50
Speaker 1: My god, on today?

00:08:52
Speaker 2: Are we living in a very uncertain world and uncertain times?

00:08:55
Speaker 1: Like every day I wake up, I'm like, what's next?

00:08:57
Speaker 3: Right?

00:08:57
Speaker 2: Like I keep the TV on, singing, and they're like, like an old woman. Every time you come to your house, TV's on CNN, And I said, because I don't know what's about to happen next, and I need to know in real time what's happening so I can be ready, you know.

00:09:10
Speaker 1: But I want to get into that. But before we get into it, I do want to ask you something.

00:09:14
Speaker 2: So many people come to you for clarity, direction and everything with that comes a lot of weight. Yeah, how are you doing on today?

00:09:25
Speaker 3: First of all, thank you for asking that question. I was David Banner. We were at the Love David so talented thevent Yes, and he saw me and I hadn't seen him in maybe two years something like that, and he grabbed me and huggy hugged me, and he looked in my eyes. He's like, how are you? And I was like, I'm doing good. He's like, no, right, pt, how are you? And he looked and I needed I needed that. So he reminded me that when you asked me like how are you, and I want to answer honestly. Uh So, first of all, thank you for asking. I'm doing I'm doing I'm doing well. I am I'm in a process. And I was just talking to, you know, one of your amazing producers and she mentioned one of the chapters in the book that really stuck with her and I'm like, I'm well because I am open to the fact that I have growth opportunities and so I'm doing really good. Yeah, people do bring a lot to me. I am learning to have boundaries. You know, the phone will go off, it will blow up, but I'm learning to be okay with not immediately responding and trusting that they are emotionally intelligent enough to know that a delay in response is not It's not any sort of indication of how I feel, and so I'm learning to manage my capacity better than I have before. And I think because I'm doing that and because I am leaving space for me to grow, that's why I'm doing well.

00:11:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that, And thank you for being honest.

00:11:12
Speaker 2: You know, it's a lot of times we do get so used to that nobody wants to hear I'm good, I'm great, everything is great, Like you don't want to hear it anyway, but sometimes people like no, I really want to hear it. And also, I think people hearing you say how you really are feeling it helps them be more honest and transparent bout how they're feeling.

00:11:26
Speaker 1: So thank you for sharing that. Seriously.

00:11:29
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I want to play a little game with you. It's called now that you know we're talking about knowing.

00:11:36
Speaker 3: I love that.

00:11:37
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, So now that you know what peace feels like, what's something that instantly disrupts it?

00:11:44
Speaker 3: Oh, I gotta go with what came first, lack of effort. Lack of effort. I feel like we are blessed with life and the opportunity to do incredible things, and God matches our excellence. I really do. And so when I and I believe in excellence, and I live for excellence. And when I see I see people not putting in the just the effort, just the effort, that that that disrupts my piece. And I have to readjust in order to get my piece back.

00:12:33
Speaker 1: There's me all day.

00:12:34
Speaker 3: I'll be like, I mean, it's excellence is free.

00:12:37
Speaker 1: It is, it's free.

00:12:38
Speaker 3: It's just it's the best you can do.

00:12:41
Speaker 1: That's it, you know. I love that. That's good. Now that you know what you like? What is your go to comfort meal?

00:12:51
Speaker 3: All right, I'm trying to do it is sushi.

00:12:54
Speaker 1: What's your favorite sushi restaurant?

00:12:56
Speaker 3: Oh? Well, I mean you got your noble but I found there's a spot in California in Thousand Oaks in Westlake Village called butter I think it's called Butterfish.

00:13:08
Speaker 1: Oh yes, you're talking about.

00:13:12
Speaker 3: Right now, right now, right now, it's called Butterfish. It's the best sushi I've ever had in my life.

00:13:21
Speaker 1: Amazing. I love that.

00:13:22
Speaker 2: Sushi is one of my favorite too. So if you're in Atlanta, you have to go to Umi. Okay, it's right behind the.

00:13:27
Speaker 1: Saint Regis Hotel. I just want you can walk to it.

00:13:31
Speaker 2: It's literally like right, like literally, you go downstairs and go to the right, it's right there.

00:13:37
Speaker 1: I didn't know.

00:13:38
Speaker 3: Five.

00:13:39
Speaker 1: It's good thathing might have to happen.

00:13:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, and get the They have this butter lobster that they like.

00:13:45
Speaker 3: Cook right in front of you, butter lobster.

00:13:47
Speaker 1: Yes, but the sushi is soga. It's to live for.

00:13:51
Speaker 3: Oh God, right here, right now. I love it. I'm on it.

00:13:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, and then okay, now that you know how it works a little more, what's something that still does not make sense to you?

00:14:04
Speaker 3: Oh? Hm, pride. The more I learn, the more I come to know, the more I realize what I don't know. And once you realize that this is gonna be a little harsh, but just let me be a little raw. Once you realize that you were kind of stupid about.

00:14:29
Speaker 1: Something, come on, yeah, I've been there.

00:14:32
Speaker 3: Like then it should create a humility because if I was stupid then and I didn't know it, or let me, let's make it positive, because le's keep it positive because I was uninformed then, and I was unaware that I was uninformed. It seemed like it would create a humility in where I am now because there's another version of me that's gonna feel the way about this version of me that I feel about that version of me, So pride doesn't make sense.

00:15:02
Speaker 2: That's really good. That's really good. Now that you know growth is important. What is one thing that you never want to grow through again?

00:15:09
Speaker 3: Oh man? Okay, all right. So I have experienced a lot of loss in my life. Lost my best friend when I was twelve years old. She got killed. Lost some friends that weren't best friends but close friends growing up, lost at a very one of my good friends was an actor. He passed away in twenty twenty. And I've learned a lot about death and grief, and it's what I've learned is great. It is comforting and all that kind of stuff. But I don't want to do that.

00:15:55
Speaker 1: I feel. Yeah, that's oh man, that's good.

00:15:59
Speaker 2: Now that you know your younger self, what would he be shocked about you now?

00:16:07
Speaker 3: Hm hmm. I think that he would be shocked at how this version of me, this older self, doesn't have to be afraid anymore. Because fear was fear was. We didn't call it fear. We called it just being alert, you know what I mean, just watching my back alert. But it was fear. Yeah, And occasionally, I don't have to sit in a restaurant with my back allowing me to face the door. Everyone's everyone's depends on where you need to switch. Yeah, every once in a while, I'm okay, I'm okay.

00:16:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good. Thank you for playing along. Yes, I appreciate that. Now let's get into the book. I want to know. This is your fourth book. How do you know when is the prompting that it's time to write a book?

00:17:02
Speaker 3: I feel like when when I have a message that if I didn't write any other book, when I have a message that is strong enough, compelling enough, broad enough, and relevant enough to the moment that we're living in. When I when all those boxes I can check, that's when I know it's time to write. And that's how that's how annoying it.

00:17:26
Speaker 2: Is for me amazing, So let's talk about it. What was that process like for you day in and day out? You're an author, because some people don't understand what it takes to write a book, and you're a busy man, So I want to know, like, what was it like balancing? What was that day in and day Are you an early writer? Are you a nighttime writer? Or is it on the plane. How does it work for you?

00:17:46
Speaker 3: So this project was about two years in the making, but when I finally got full clarity on what it would be, I actually wrote it pretty quickly, like within three or four months. But so for me, I get thoughts and I immediately honor those thoughts and write it down. This is important, like God one idea, one thought can change everything. And the challenge is if you don't have some sort of means to capture that thought, not only are you missing the value that thought, but you can't get another thought. You know what thoughts build and so so I have tools like even now I use this device called plaud uh and it's amazing. It's a it's an AI based note taking system, but it captures your thoughts, organizes them, etcetera. Paud p l O p l A U D. You're gonna love it to So so I honor those thoughts and then an honor, I also honor creative rushes uh. And sometimes I was gonna say, unfortunately, sometimes those creative rushes coming three at three in the morning, so I can say, oh, I'm tired. No, when God blesses you with the creative rush, you gotta honor it no matter where you are. If you're out, I mean I was driving here, you know, Oh hold on, pull my phone out, you know. So So if you're going to be a good steward over God's insight creatively, you have to be ready to catch the flow whenever it comes.

00:19:17
Speaker 1: That's so good. That's good. I love that. Now you're forward. I thought this is really cool.

00:19:23
Speaker 2: It was written by your nine year old daughter Ella. Tell me about that, and what made you say I want her to write this?

00:19:30
Speaker 3: It was a few things. One, she she's you know, we have we have a blended family. Yes, you know I had three from previous marriage. Sarah had two, and Ella is our child that we have together. Yes, And she kind of believes she's the only child, and she has she's so smart. She has kind of deduced that, you know, I'm the only child by y'all, like you a little rascal, you kind of I almost can't argue that. But she's always had this hmm, this unique ability to perceive beyond her years and beyond her circumstances. And she would almost stumble into it. It was like she would know, but not even fully know what it was that she knew but knew it enough to say it. So she came to me and she's like that I should write the foreword.

00:20:29
Speaker 1: First of all, nine years old, knowing what a ford is. Yes, yes, because.

00:20:33
Speaker 3: What And Crystal I was like, but when she said it, something in myn knower was like, don't brush this off, you know. And I looked at her and I say, okay, I said, you know, let's but I knew that she was supposed to do it. Now selling that to my publisher and selling that even to my agent. I have an incredible agent, but selling it to them, they were both like My agent was like, oh no, no, absolutely not. My publisher was like, you know, they try to be nice because they know you're an artist and they probably have this way of thinking about artists and you have to be gentle with them or whatever. And I have a great publisher as well. They both were like, are you sure, And I was like, yeah. But here's the thing. She's closer to knowing it and she's ten nows she's not at the time. She's closer to the presence of God's voice, the presence of truly knowing, than a lot of the adults that are around me. Because she hasn't been yet shaped by things that take our knowing away. Yes, And so I interviewed her. We were in Greece. I interviewed her, you know, and she.

00:21:47
Speaker 1: Had it right there. We were in greeted.

00:21:50
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:21:50
Speaker 1: Yeah, we went a life for the time.

00:21:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is crazy. Yeah, it was. And she and when I interviewed her, I'm like, oh no, this is this is it? So I had to fight to go to bat for her from my publishers, like, no, you need to have some special person or somebody who's a subject matter.

00:22:09
Speaker 1: Hello.

00:22:10
Speaker 3: I'm like, and let me tell you. And I had told her yes, So there was no ration that there would be nothing they could say this is going to happen. And then once it was written and they saw it and they understood the press angles even yes, they were like that was brilliant. That's another thing you gotta like when it comes to knowing, Like when God gives you something and you know it, even when people around you don't get it. People you love, trust and respect. That's why you got to cultivate that, because there's something that God sees that he's revealing to you that if you honor it against the naysayers, it's gonna set you up for success. No.

00:22:52
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I'm glad you stuck to your guns.

00:22:54
Speaker 2: I'm glad you listened to Ellen when she said that, because sometimes it's I'm not a parent, but I know somebody. I'm a time, so I know sometimes when I tell my parents that, they're like as a kid, they're like, okay, girl, Like okay, you're thinking too, Like that's never gonna happen, you know. So the fact that you took the moment to listen to her and hear her and then gave her a shot, that is something that is going to stick.

00:23:16
Speaker 1: With her forever.

00:23:17
Speaker 2: And I believe that as she grows up and she's never gonna be afraid to shoot her shot. If I can shoot my shot to my dad, like that's that's huge.

00:23:26
Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah, I never looked at it that way.

00:23:28
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:23:29
Speaker 2: But you also talked about how we can project how we've been shaped and our experiences on our children.

00:23:35
Speaker 1: You touch on that in the book. Let's talk about that.

00:23:37
Speaker 2: That is so important because I do that even now sometimes like with people that I mentor or my nieces and nephews, and I was trying to protect them, and it is a form of protection for us. But let's talk about that and how you've had to kind of reshape.

00:23:50
Speaker 1: How you do that.

00:23:51
Speaker 3: It's funny bring this up. So my trauma that I'm realizing was a lot deeper than I thought it was. It's a lot deeper, and I'm finally actually beyond intellectually processing it, really processing it at a soul level and doing the work. So LA, for me, LA is I actually wrote a little song about La, which I'm gonna send it to you one day, but l A, I love LA. But you know in the song, I talk about how La broke my heart a lot of times, and I broke her heart too, And you know, I got shot in l A. I was exposed to a lot of things in LA, and so I have I do have trauma from some of the things that I experienced growing up. And I started in Watts and before and I started in Watch and I live very far away from Watts in the mountains. So my life reflects my journey in LA reflects me pushing further and further and further away. You know, almost literally, you literally can't go any further away in LA than where my house is. And my son came to me, he was in Corporate America and he said, you know, I feel called to leave corporate America and I'm gonna really trust God about where he's gonna send me next. And that was about a month ago. And then he pulled me into the to a conversation the other day and he's like, hey, Dad, so I feel like, you know, I'm called to move back to LA. He lives with us in Dallas and Crystal I was like, because the city it feels I mean, La is great, but anyone who's there knows that the city feels a little different.

00:25:43
Speaker 1: It does.

00:25:43
Speaker 3: It doesn't feel as abundant as it used to. I got scared. I got scared, and it pulled up some trauma like it was really a trigger for me. But what I did do in that moment was, even though he can see it in my face, I said, if God told you to do that, you know you you have to do it now. That's what I said to him. And I wanted to given that, but inside I was a mess. But I do know I don't have perfect theology on my kid's destiny. Only only God does. I don't know. There's certain things that I'm blinded by because of my love, and so I have to trust that the God who took care of me, who kept me and protected me, will keep and protect all my children in whatever path that he directs them on. And that's a real conviction I have. And I just go back and I cry in the Marriorim go ahead, throw up or whatever. I got to do it, you know, but I don't want to. I don't want to hinder them. I don't want to be like Peter, you know, and have to get rebuked by Jesus because Peter loves him and he's saying, hey, you can't do that, and I mean Jesus calls him satan. He says, get behind me, Satan. So even though so I don't want to be Satan, you know what I mean, calling it love and protection.

00:27:01
Speaker 1: Absolutely, that's good. I heard them. That is so good. And I want to know.

00:27:10
Speaker 2: You said, you're working and working through things and you're doing the work.

00:27:14
Speaker 1: What does that work look like for you?

00:27:16
Speaker 3: Uh? Therapy? Yeah, therapy, I am. You know, I've done therapy before, but I've never well, actually I was gonna say I've never done trauma therapy. I tried this trauma therapist before, and she touched something and I was like, this is done. We ain't doing this no more. Uh, you know, because you know you want to be in control. Yes, but when I realized that my trauma can affect my kids and can affect everything, my marriage, my life, my business, yeah no, I want everything. I want all the tools. I want all the tools, and so for me, yeah, it's it's you know, I'm starting to starting therapy.

00:27:56
Speaker 1: That's amazing.

00:27:57
Speaker 2: I love that, And I think our Black men need to hear more of it, to see people like them that are thriving and they look at you.

00:28:03
Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, they got it all together.

00:28:05
Speaker 2: To know that you as well, like you're working through things, you're human, and that it's okay.

00:28:12
Speaker 1: You know.

00:28:12
Speaker 2: I think there's such a huge stigma, even though now like more people talk about therapy. Well, I feel like since COVID twenty twenty, we began to like really process our trauma.

00:28:21
Speaker 1: And realize, oh, we're not okay, and we talked about it.

00:28:24
Speaker 2: But I still feel like with our black men, there's still a little hesitancy when it comes to like sitting down and talking to somebody. The black family has been so quick to know we don't talk about our business.

00:28:33
Speaker 1: We're not doing that, we're not touching that.

00:28:35
Speaker 2: We don't leave it alone, but we haven't healed from it, and we keep carrying on generation and generation.

00:28:40
Speaker 3: It's true, and we can't talk about it enough. We've got great people that we all know and love that are talking about this. But so I started therapy, you know, I started therapy when I was going through my divorce and all that kind of stuff, right, or trying to figure out if it was gonna work, and then after it right. But there are levels to it, and so we need to continue to be reminded, like Yo, you might have gotten free from that, but especially black men, because we you know, we beat our chest, we pride ourselves on what we can handle right, and yet if we would go to therapy, we would actually be able to handle more. So we'd be stronger because we'd have more tools, more agency, more opportunity, more vulnerability. I'm learning, Like I gotta tell you this story. Yes, Sarah came to me. She had watched some documentary about men in general and how we have to be tough and hard, and there was certainly a lot of black men in that documentary and it awakened her, like her and she was passing around to her friends. So she came to me and she's like, baby, I'm so sorry, you know, like what what you've gone through and what you had to be I'm come here, come here. I pushed her away. I'm like, babe, what do you like? Don't don't patriotize me, like you know, and and and she wasn't. The intention was good. I was just so unhold that I couldn't even perceive.

00:30:14
Speaker 1: The value in that her seeing you.

00:30:17
Speaker 3: Fast forward to me being in this new season where I'm like split open dealing with my trauma, and I went and I said, Babe, I said, oh, you an apology, you know, because like, you know, this thing with my son really opened stuff up, and I need that hug. I need her to like, you know, I need her to wrap me up because you know, vulnerability, the initial feeling is lack of control.

00:30:42
Speaker 1: Felt like, oh my god, and.

00:30:44
Speaker 3: She's my safe place, you know. And so I said, babe, you know what, you remember a couple of months ago when you came to me and you were like, come here, I want to hug you. And I kind of like rejected that because it felt like, you know, I didn't understand I said, first of all, I'm sorry, I said, I get it now, you know, and that hug, I need that right about now.

00:31:04
Speaker 2: I love the accountability and that's important in relationships.

00:31:08
Speaker 3: Yes, that is so important, and you make listen, we're gonna make a mistake, just own it.

00:31:13
Speaker 2: That is you know, you were having a human moment when she even said that from things that you hadn't dealt with.

00:31:19
Speaker 1: Yes, a knowing you know. Yes, that's good, that's really good. I love that.

00:31:24
Speaker 2: You open up in your book of talking about uncertainty is everywhere. Yeah, not just in the world, but within us.

00:31:29
Speaker 1: My goodness, and I can I can attest to that. You said that we can be.

00:31:34
Speaker 2: Wise and still feel lost, prayerful and still feel pressure. I want to know what does that actually look like when you have the faith, you have the wisdom and the experience, but you still don't feel sure about things.

00:31:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can tell you right now. We're not doing And when I say we am talking about society, we're not doing as well as we think we are. And here's why we're managing. We are making do we're still working, we're not quitting. But we were not wired to experience this level of consistent uncertainty. We literally we weren't built for that. Even science shows that the brain craves predictability, and when the brain does not have predictability, it starts doing all kinds of stuff. First of all, the prefrontal cortex, which is obviously where our creativity, our decision make comes from, that shuts down. So in uncertainty, which is a time where you actually need your best foot forward, your best thought forward, that part of your brain shuts down. You go into that fight flight freeze mode. So either you are stuck in paralysis and won't move because you got decision fatigue. Youre trying to figure out what is the right decision, and since you can't predict it, you do nothing. You react from a place of fear. You're you're just reacting to things, and you make a decision, but it's not the best decision. We're not doing well and so so for me. And then again it's perpetual uncertainty. So it's so baseline is uncertainty, and that's a and that's a big deal. And that's really one of the reasons why I wrote this book, because I'm like, listen, we cannot keep the world from being uncertain right, we cannot shield ourselves from the reality of us being inundated with information that perpetuates this sense of uncertainty. I said, but we can be grounded, yes, and we can be anchored in the middle of it, so that we can take advantage of the opportunities. So can I just be a preacher for a minute, please? So the scripture tall, everybody's heard it. Everything that can be shaken Hebrews twelve. I'm paraphrasing, every thing that can be shaken will be shaken. So shaking shouldn't shake us, to be honest with you, because one of the things, I'm from California, so one of the things that when an earthquake happens, the ground is never the same again. So we're praying for change. But the process of change, like permanent change, often is about shaking. So I have to be able to think and see clearly in the midst of the shaking, because I believe that the shaking is the process of the tails becoming the head. So here is the advantage of the believer. The believer does not have to sorrow as those who have no hope. In other words, we know that God is causing all things to work together for good. A. B. We know that God is the last shelby first is causing those who were the tails to be the head. But the only way that we're going to get there is if we learn how to keep our heads yes, and be round it so that we can see the opportunity that is on the backdrop of the chaos. So for me, that's what knowing is about. Knowing is about. Okay, let me, you know, let me figure out what's certain, Let me ground myself and what's certain, and let me allow let me recognize my knower, sharpen that knower and use that nor so that I'm seeing clearly, which I'll keep going, which brings me into a leadership position. Right. You know, we got a leadership crisis in our world, certainly here you know we you know we have a leadership crisis. Well, how do true leaders emerge? Leaders emerge when they have clarity, right, when they have conviction, when they have solutions. That sets up the church to be the heads of nothing to do.

00:35:51
Speaker 1: So you feel me, I feel you.

00:35:53
Speaker 2: Yes, it's crazy you say that because I'm in the Book of Jeremiah right now, and God has given him these these prophecies like go tell my people this, and go tell them this, and he's saying, this is what I'm about to bring a wreck in to this area, like if my people don't get it right or turn away, and he talks about how I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you. And as I'm reading with everything that's going on in the world, I'm finding so much hope because I'm like, he's letting you know, I am gonna bring my rath, but.

00:36:21
Speaker 1: If you're with me, you ain't got to worry about it.

00:36:23
Speaker 2: Yes, we find the hope and the comfort and the peace and that that's yeah, because there is.

00:36:28
Speaker 1: So much uncertainty.

00:36:29
Speaker 2: And I've been praying about certain things and I feel like every time I pray about it, when I'm in my word, he's giving me answer.

00:36:35
Speaker 1: I said, Brenda palm Er something yesterday Sprea shot.

00:36:37
Speaker 2: She says, you did to being the word, and I was like about falls profits and there's this person. I've been trying to figure out if she was real or not, you know, And Brendan was like, I don't know. I got I don't have a good feeling about it. So as I kept reading, I said, there's my answer right there. If I'm uneasy because God is not the author confusion, and I'm reading, I'm like, oh my goodness, Like God, you just gave me the answer.

00:36:58
Speaker 1: It's in't the word, it is right there.

00:37:00
Speaker 3: And then look for on that note, uh I look for pride, if a profit, even if you you you are seeing right, if somehow the attention gets back to you that or you just a prophet, should be humble. You know, first of all, if you are tapping into God at the level of clarity that you are, you're gonna be very humble because you realize how how powerful that opportunity is. And and you you just you you just lay flat to the ground because you know it ain't you. So when it starts kind of pointing back to this and this arrogance, that's one of the first signs of my estimation that maybe you aren't a a false prophet, but you're an unhealthy prophet, and an unhealthy prophet will be a false prophet. But but you you were talking about all this stuff that's going on in the world and how you're grounded even Jesus. In Matthew twenty four talked about how all these crazy things were going to happen, wars, rumors of war, ultimately what will be pandemics, weather stuff and everything, and then he talked about this is very interesting. He talked about and the love of many will grow cold because of offense and all these sort of things. And then at the end of that he says, but this gospel of the Kingdom will be preached to all nations. So I see a pattern there. I see a pattern of chaos. I see a pattern of Watch this our response to the chaos. The love of many will grow cold. That's our response to the chaos. So we'll be reacting. And then I see the Kingdom doing something. It's if it's spoken that the gospel will be preached, this gospel the Kingdom we preached to all nations, and then they will come in the context of this intense chaos, then it's going to be an intense advancing of the Kingdom as well. And we see it, yes, And sandwiched in between that is whether or not we will have emotional regulation, because if we have emotional regulation, stillness will be able to tap into our knowing come on, come on, so that we can set up what God is doing. But if we are reacting and responding and we are troubled and confused just like everybody else, we miss it.

00:39:20
Speaker 1: We are missing. Oh my goodness, that's good. And I wanted you talked about stillness.

00:39:24
Speaker 2: Yes, let's touch about let's touch on that because it is so hard. I feel like we're we're living in a hustle world. It's like I gotta get I gotta get it, I gotta get it, and sometimes we've missed the moment to just be still. Oh, yes, let's talk about that. And how do we know when it's time to sit down?

00:39:39
Speaker 3: Yeah? Well, first of all, you know, one of our favorite well known passes of scriptures be still and know that I'm God. Yes, but let's let's cut that in a let's cut a third off of that. It says, be still and know Come on, let's just start there. So knowing and knowing God and everything happens in stillness. And for me, like in a world where I am inundated with information, I mean it is everywhere for me, stillion stillness is an act of defiance. It's me rebelling, it's me resisting against this inundation of information. That's trying to deregulate me. This distable me. You know, you got fake news, you got all kind of you talking about miss knowing, I mean misinformation I had. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and we were to someone we really respect sent an article saying, oh, this is going on, and just two clicks would reveal that this was fake.

00:40:42
Speaker 2: Now that that grinds my gears when these are so quick to see the lady, you.

00:40:47
Speaker 3: Know, and so so I guess, I guess the point that I'm making is now, stillness is not like this optional thing, you know what, I just need to find something. No, no, baby, we have to find still this time every single day in order to be clear, because our default is misinformation or too much information. So you know, stillness is everything. If we are still, will know. You know, there's there's this this part in the book where I talk about that there's one word in Hebrews that was translated into English senses and it's only by one time, and it literally means your organ of perception. So God, the same God gave his ears to hear and eyes to see and no smell, also gave us the ability to perceive him well, I have to shut everything else down. I have to get still so that I can tap into miner that thing that God gave us. And not only do I have to find it, I gotta exercise it. I gotta train it, you know, and get good at it. And it's hard for it to be so clear enough that it governs our life if we don't take time to be still.

00:42:01
Speaker 1: That's so good.

00:42:02
Speaker 2: Was there ever a moment in your life where you weren't being still and you made a decision? You look back like if I had just taken a moment to pause.

00:42:11
Speaker 3: All the time. You know, there's this passage of scripture that says be angry and sin not, and it looks like a real quick thing, be angry and sin not, But no, there's a gap, be angry, gap and sin not. So that space, that space between then you're then that space between your legitimate anger and your response. Sometimes it needs to be a weak you know what I mean, And so I can I mean, many times you know, in uh, you know, things that I you know, may have said to the kids, you know, in my fear or nothing abusive or whatever, But I could have done so much better decisions that I've made in leadership, you know, getting you know, getting upset and you know sometimes you know you you you'll I are somebody that you could have, uh and I haven't done that in a long time, but but someone you know, part of let me just give you, like a leadership lesson. One of a big leadership lesson is knowing who you need to train. That will be a great asset if you have a little bit of patience versus you know, I've worded it this way. Knowing who can grow into your vision or who must go for the sake of your vision, and like true leadership. So I've made all kinds of decisions. And that's why I want to be regulated because sometimes just three seconds, Crystal, just just a breath before you react, just one breath. It'll be the difference between you know, use some of a sucker or or let's prey. You know what I mean. You know, just this is a little beat.

00:43:50
Speaker 1: You know, for sure, I have to take a beat every day.

00:43:53
Speaker 2: Although it was like the little moments, like even in the way here, I was like something happened.

00:43:57
Speaker 3: I was just like, just.

00:44:02
Speaker 2: It's fine, We're not saving lives here, Like you get so quick. I'm like you was just in the word, how are you about to get that give intense about something so quick?

00:44:12
Speaker 3: Yeah? We're human.

00:44:15
Speaker 2: We are human, yes, and I have to remind myself with that. But I also have to remind myself that you are working progress. And when you feel that happening, take a take a beat, yep, don't allow it to consume.

00:44:26
Speaker 1: You, and then regulate, all right, what are we doing?

00:44:29
Speaker 3: And it and it passes.

00:44:30
Speaker 1: It does.

00:44:31
Speaker 2: That's amazing things literally within two seconds that I'm good.

00:44:35
Speaker 3: But check this out. So that urge is so strong to react like it almost feel like I got to you know. But if you can just settle yourself for a minute, yeah, it passes, because that if you give into that, it's gonna throw your whole next ten minutes off literally and there will be loss creativity, inspiration. You know, you can miss something that's coming a way. It ain't worth it. No, it's not worth it to not be the best mate. Yes, And that moment of stillness self regulation allows me.

00:45:10
Speaker 1: That's so good.

00:45:10
Speaker 2: I'm glad I'm not alone in that one. He gets an ear for every day like I'm with you, I got you, and I just like dump it on him He's like, I got you.

00:45:22
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, so.

00:45:24
Speaker 3: That's a blessing.

00:45:25
Speaker 2: It is a blessing, and everybody need a West. I appreciate you. Another thing I love and just about you period is how real you are. Now you talk about how part of your seasons are cocoon period. I love that because I feel like so much of my life before I really took wings, I feel like I was just trapped, you know, and if I had changed my perspective, it was really cocoon. Or I'm turning from that caterpillar to the butterfly so I can literally fly. Let's talk about that, because I love that analogy in that metaphor.

00:46:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I know part of I talked about if if the cocoon could talk, what would it tell you? And the challenging part about about being in a cocoon is that you don't know it. And sometimes I imagine, like the caterpillar, I don't know if caterpillars have caterpillar school where there's a nice little whiteboard in the background. Now, listen, you getting ready to go through something, right, It's gonna be real dark, You're gonna be real disoriented. In fact, your whole sense of who you were, your whole sense of identity, how you move about, how you navigate, how you get around, all of that is going to come to a complete stop, and you're gonna be in darkness and then you're actually gonna turn into this little mush. But when it's all though, oh, when it's all over, you're going to become something that you couldn't have even fathom becoming. You didn't have the capacity. So if the cocoon could talk, that's what the cocoon could tell you. And we find ourselves in cocoons. It's when God knows that we have to become something else, that the version of who we are right now does not match the calling, the purpose, the environment, the destiny that you're assigned to. Now, I can't explain that to you because that information revelation wouldn't even fit into the version that you are. It would blow your mind. So I just have to let you enter into this cocoon without your permission, because I'm your God. And so what you have to do. First of all, the first time you go through it, you'll learn, and once you go through two or three cocoons, you'll figure it out. But there are things that you have to realize. First of all, it's dark, and so now I have to trust the character of the one who allowed me to go into that cocoon. I gotta do that. I also have to know that it's temporary. It's like, you know, it's not going to last forever there, It's going to be an emerging you know, there's several things I have to know that I'm protected because here's the thing, like, even with me working through this trauma on the next level, I felt like I didn't want nobody to see me like, because you know, I'm big, bad tore, you know what I mean. I'm leading people on bull out the line, you know what I mean. I'm doing business and all that kind of stuff. And I didn't like, I didn't feel strong, you know, But that's okay, because yeah, you are weak, but you're weak under my covering. And me and Sarah we were talking and we were watching Dave Chappelle's documentary and he acknowledged not his documentaries, let me not, let me tell the truth. Well, man, I thought documentary, but it wasn't. It was a kind of a documentary moment at the top of his thing where his mother said he said, my mother taught me something, and she says, sometimes you gotta be a lion so that you can be the lamb that you really are. Talking about being bold, and then Sarah was like, yeah, you know, and sometimes you got to be a lamb, yeah, so that you can be the lion that you really are.

00:49:21
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:49:21
Speaker 3: And that space of me being in this new cocoon where I do feel like I got to be a lamb or I do feel like I can't be the roaring lion, but I gotta be the sacrificial toree so that God can shape me so that I can come back and be the bold lion that am. But this is the cocoon process. You got to know that it's temporary. You gotta trust God's heart when you can't see his hand, you know. You got to know that you're protected in it, you know, and that you're coming out and when you come out it's going to be worth it. You'll kiss the cocoon later, you know. But while you're it, it's not fun.

00:50:01
Speaker 1: It's not fun. Now.

00:50:02
Speaker 2: What do you say to the person who runs from the cocoon phase and continues to repeat the cycles and they're missing that moment to go through the darkness, go through the uneasiness and the uncertainty to get to the other side of that. What do you say to that person who just continues to repeat the cycles.

00:50:21
Speaker 3: I feel them, and I understand how easy it is to do that, because it takes courage, like to submit to a process. I would say to that person, here's the hard truth. You got to get to the other side.

00:50:35
Speaker 1: No, you have to, and.

00:50:38
Speaker 3: You're not going You're not going to get to the other side going around the mountain. You're going to have to trust God, and it's going to be uncomfortable, and you're going to have to You're gonna have to get naked. You're gonna have to get to that place where you are naked and undershame. And here's the thing, you know, even as it relates to like knowing, we were actually born to know. People think that like awareness, spiritual awareness, God's voice, intuition, whatever you want to call it. It ain't the sixth sense. It's the first sense. We were created to know. We were created in the context of the one who is all knowing, and we had a direct flow with him, and in that context we were naked and unashamed. The moment that the enemy comes in and watch this moves us from knowing with God to wondering or to questioning. He breaks that flow, and now what are we doing? We're naked and now we're trying to cover ourselves. Now we don't feel safe, and so part of getting back to who we truly are is recognizing that I am covering. See here's the thing, God says, who told you were naked? He's like, first of all, yeah, yeah, you're naked. But who reintroduced what it meant to be bear in front of me to you and made it a negative? Who distorted vulnerability the idea of vulnerability, who distorted that you? And so to that person, I would say, God really really loves you, and you can show him everything, and you can yield yourself and do whatever it takes to yield to the process. Because if you had just just an inkling of an idea of how much God loves you and is into you and is not disappointed in you, which is a lie because in order to be disappointed, there has to be an ignorance in order for them to be disappointment. And God knew what you were going to do before you did, and all this kind of stuff. God not disappointing you. He has perfect knowledge, so he's not disappointed. He loves you, and all he wants is for He doesn't want from you, He wants for you. Trust the process. And I'll say this prophetically to that person. God will have people, and don't run from the people that are assigned to your life. They make you feel a little uncomfortable. Not talk on people who judge you. Get rid of them. But I'm talking about people who see you and who challenge you and push you a little bit. Don't run from those people. Those are gifts. And God will always have somebody around you that will see you, speak into you, and be a part of His natural covering. As you walk through this cocoon, get in the cocoon, get don't don't run from it. Don't run from it, and don't deliver yourself too early. You'll mature to a place where you're like God, I'm in the fire and I don't like it as hot, but don't take me out one second sooner. I want to be I want to be done. I want to be done well done, so that I don't have to go back to where I was. She said, So good, you know, And I can say that because I trust you. You're not gonna burn me. You're not gonna burn me, you know, Oh my goodness. But if I get out too soon, I'll.

00:54:02
Speaker 1: Be raw exactly.

00:54:03
Speaker 2: We don't want that, oh goodness, susceptible to everything.

00:54:06
Speaker 1: Yes at that point.

00:54:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is so good. Thank you, Thank you for your time. I'm excited for everyone to get your book. Can you tell us where we can find it?

00:54:16
Speaker 3: Uh? Everywhere? I mean you go to Tory Roberts dot com on the website. I'm talking about it. I want the world to have it.

00:54:21
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, weeded to. I know the Sweedis are going to definitely go get it. I have an unofficial book club, so we're going to read it.

00:54:28
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:54:28
Speaker 2: They post books that I'm reading and they all go by it. So we'll definitely get on this a way and whatever.

00:54:33
Speaker 3: If you want me to zoom in and talk, yes.

00:54:37
Speaker 1: Thank you, it's my pleasure.

00:54:40
Speaker 2: And tell us about your podcast, Greg, Can you find that because you want to tap in?

00:54:43
Speaker 3: Yep, it's called the called podcast. It's everywhere YouTube and of course on all the audio platforms awesome.

00:54:49
Speaker 2: We will definitely tap in. Is there anything I may have missed that you want us to know about.

00:54:53
Speaker 1: I know, Woman Evolved. Is it sold out already? Yes?

00:54:57
Speaker 3: But we're doing the overflowing, you know, the overflow experience hopping.

00:55:00
Speaker 2: Let me tell y'all getting the overflow. That's what the podcast is. We have so much fun over there.

00:55:06
Speaker 3: Indeed, and then the called I don't know when this airs, but the called the conference in Miami fifth that's gonna be crazy.

00:55:13
Speaker 2: What month is at April? Oh wow, that's coming up? Okay, awesome. Yes, I'm really loving everything you're doing with the call actually a tendager event you had in art Basel.

00:55:22
Speaker 1: Yes, phenomenal.

00:55:23
Speaker 2: I love what you're doing bringing people of the faith to their into their other gifts. I think that's a beautiful thing and letting us know that, hey, we can tap into all these different things that God has blessed us with. Absolutely, so thank you for everything you're doing past the tarade. I appreciate you. And not to be another person that's calling you asking you for advice, but I'll be calling.

00:55:42
Speaker 3: Asking your advice and you're modeling. You're modeling everything I stand for.

00:55:47
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, congratulations, thank you, all.

00:55:50
Speaker 2: Right, this is good.

00:55:54
Speaker 1: What I appreciate.

00:55:55
Speaker 2: Most about this conversation is the reminder that clarity isn't always loud. Some times is quiet, Sometimes it's uncomfortable, and sometimes it requires us to unlearn everything we thought we knew. Sorey, thank you so much for your honesty, your perspective, and for showing us that knowing isn't about having all the answers.

00:56:14
Speaker 1: It's about having the courage to trust yourself, even in the unknown.

00:56:19
Speaker 2: Thank you all so much for tuning in to another episode of Keep It Positive, Sweety. Be sure to grab your copy of Knowing The Journey to Certainty in an Uncertain World wherever books are sold. Don't forget to download Season eleven Kit's reflection sheet God at Chris Llinaehezel dot com. Subscribe and share this episode with someone who needs it. Hey, guys, if you ever need advice or just want to share what you're going through, email us at Keep It Positive Outcomes at gmail dot com. As always, stay blessed, stay encouraged, and keep it positive, Sweety.

00:56:51
Speaker 1: I'll see you guys next time. Love y'all,