220 - This Messy Gorgeous Love

Secular Buddhism

In this episode, I talk to Devon and Nico Hase about their book, This Messy, Gorgeous Love. We explore how the Buddhist concept of dukkha, or inherent unsatisfactoriness, applies to relationships, reframing difficulty not as a sign of failure but as a natural and even beautiful aspect of partnership. Key takeaways include understanding that relationships are inherently challenging, the importance of "deep listening" to ourselves, our partners, and the space between us, and redefining patience not as passive resignation but as active, courageous engagement with difficulty, or "patience with teeth." This approach offers practical tools for navigating conflict, such as understanding different conflict styles (volcanoes, diplomats, and dodgers) and practicing regular "check-ins" to foster deeper connection and understanding in our messy, gorgeous lives.

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2026-04-29 62 min

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