312 | CCPT Mindset: The Final Mindset Shift…From Doing CCPT to Being CCPT
Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy
In this final episode of the CCPT Mindset series, I wrap up with one of the most foundational shifts we must make as child-centered play therapists: moving from doing to being. I explore how the pressure to "do it right" in session—say the right thing, follow the right steps, get the right outcome—keeps us stuck in a performance mindset that actually undermines the very heart of the model.
Instead, I walk through what a being posture looks and feels like in the playroom: calm, grounded, attuned, and fully present. I talk about how our presence—more than our techniques—is the true intervention in CCPT. This episode is an invitation to reflect on how we show up with children and how we care for ourselves so that who we are supports healing, growth, and authentic relationship.
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If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com Twitter: @thekidcounselor https://twitter.com/thekidcounselor Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast
Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
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0 00:00:00,469 --> 00:00:04,309 You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks, 1 00:00:04,469 --> 00:00:08,220 your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching. 2 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:08,710 Hi, 3 00:00:08,789 --> 00:00:09,810 I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, 4 00:00:09,819 --> 00:00:10,550 The Kid Counselor. 5 00:00:10,710 --> 00:00:12,789 This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get 6 00:00:12,789 --> 00:00:15,300 a master class in child-centered play therapy 7 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:17,610 and practical support and application for your 8 00:00:17,610 --> 00:00:19,329 work with children and their families. 9 00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:20,659 In today's episode, 10 00:00:20,790 --> 00:00:24,969 we are closing out the CCPT Mindset series, 11 00:00:25,469 --> 00:00:28,540 and this week we are talking about 12 00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:30,059 being versus doing. 13 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,270 And we've hit on this before, 14 00:00:32,418 --> 00:00:36,930 but I think this will really wrap up the series in a helpful way, 15 00:00:37,259 --> 00:00:41,889 and it will tie into the other three topics that we've addressed in this series. 16 00:00:42,299 --> 00:00:43,259 Before we get into that though, 17 00:00:43,340 --> 00:00:45,930 I have a couple of housekeeping announcements. 18 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:47,770 If you are new to the podcast, 19 00:00:47,979 --> 00:00:48,459 first of all, 20 00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:49,009 welcome. 21 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,180 Very glad you found us, 22 00:00:50,299 --> 00:00:51,290 very glad you're here. 23 00:00:51,659 --> 00:00:54,049 This is an incredible group 24 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,549 of CCPTs from all over the world. 25 00:00:56,979 --> 00:00:58,439 And you have joined 26 00:00:58,770 --> 00:01:02,200 the listener tribe and really glad that you're here. 27 00:01:02,490 --> 00:01:06,779 I know I have mentioned several times about the CPRT course that we are releasing. 28 00:01:07,089 --> 00:01:09,360 I spoke with Joseph with Corwell today. 29 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:10,599 It is ready. 30 00:01:10,849 --> 00:01:14,519 We are ready to launch probably within the next few days, 31 00:01:14,849 --> 00:01:16,529 so I wanted to make you aware of that. 32 00:01:16,809 --> 00:01:19,879 Podcast listeners and my community, 33 00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:21,879 you are going to have a week 34 00:01:22,129 --> 00:01:25,169 where you can get $100 off the price of the course. 35 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:27,690 And this is a thank you to you all. 36 00:01:27,860 --> 00:01:30,330 It's an acknowledgement that you're my people. 37 00:01:30,739 --> 00:01:31,180 And so 38 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:35,169 I negotiated with them that we're going to offer the first week 39 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:39,889 with a promo code so that you can get $100 off the course if you're interested. 40 00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:43,260 Let me really quickly tease what goes into this course 41 00:01:43,260 --> 00:01:45,400 so that you are aware of what you're getting. 42 00:01:45,699 --> 00:01:47,699 It's 16 hours of CEUs. 43 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:53,620 And what makes this different and why I structured this course the way that I did 44 00:01:53,910 --> 00:01:57,139 is you don't just get the facilitation content 45 00:01:57,349 --> 00:01:59,139 out of the book and the manual, 46 00:01:59,430 --> 00:02:03,050 you actually get video examples of me facilitating 47 00:02:03,430 --> 00:02:04,940 each week to parents. 48 00:02:05,389 --> 00:02:09,389 So you get the instructional video about the content and then you 49 00:02:09,389 --> 00:02:14,710 get a demonstration video of me actually teaching the content to parents. 50 00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:18,880 So this is the most comprehensive CPRT training course 51 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,919 that is out there as far as I'm aware. 52 00:02:21,690 --> 00:02:24,039 And it will give you 16 CEUs to boot. 53 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:28,789 So not only does it help you to facilitate CPRT with confidence and competence, 54 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,220 but it will also give you CEUs, 55 00:02:31,229 --> 00:02:33,740 and most of you all need about 30 or so 56 00:02:34,039 --> 00:02:35,240 for your license renewal, 57 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,070 for example, 58 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:40,910 so that's more than half of your requirements for your 2 year license renewal. 59 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:41,559 It will all. 60 00:02:41,699 --> 00:02:45,600 So count toward your RPT hours if you're working toward those, 61 00:02:45,889 --> 00:02:48,080 and it will be CCPT in theory. 62 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:48,960 So 63 00:02:49,130 --> 00:02:50,710 I'm super excited about this 64 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:51,850 and stay tuned. 65 00:02:51,889 --> 00:02:53,860 We will do an email newsletter about it. 66 00:02:53,970 --> 00:02:55,210 We'll announce it in the Collective, 67 00:02:55,289 --> 00:02:56,759 we'll announce it on the podcast, 68 00:02:57,089 --> 00:03:01,240 and I'll give you that $100 code so that you can save money to boot, 69 00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:01,600 so. 70 00:03:02,309 --> 00:03:02,910 Very excited. 71 00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,380 That has taken us a ton of time, 72 00:03:04,429 --> 00:03:05,300 a ton of work. 73 00:03:05,509 --> 00:03:08,820 Corwell has just put in so much energy and effort into this, 74 00:03:09,029 --> 00:03:10,279 and I can't say this enough. 75 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,630 Corwell has become such a champion for CCPT 76 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:15,139 in the CEU world, 77 00:03:15,309 --> 00:03:18,380 and I'm really grateful for Joseph and Katie and their team. 78 00:03:18,669 --> 00:03:20,029 They have been fantastic, 79 00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:21,429 and they really believe. 80 00:03:21,485 --> 00:03:25,785 In what we're doing and they believe in the model and they've been so supportive, 81 00:03:25,824 --> 00:03:28,134 so that's a huge benefit to us 82 00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:31,955 to have someone that is coming alongside CCPT and 83 00:03:31,955 --> 00:03:35,764 wanting you to have access to all of your requirements 84 00:03:36,035 --> 00:03:37,065 in your model, 85 00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:38,914 and that is a huge gift. 86 00:03:38,955 --> 00:03:40,664 So I'm really grateful to Corwell as well. 87 00:03:41,345 --> 00:03:41,725 All righty, 88 00:03:42,074 --> 00:03:44,315 so let's dive into the being versus doing. 89 00:03:45,449 --> 00:03:46,160 We, 90 00:03:46,429 --> 00:03:47,309 I think often, 91 00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:48,449 as we should 92 00:03:48,910 --> 00:03:52,139 focus on mastering the skills of the model, 93 00:03:52,509 --> 00:03:53,940 and we need to know them, 94 00:03:54,029 --> 00:03:55,380 we need to execute them, 95 00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:56,910 we need to be adherent. 96 00:03:57,229 --> 00:03:58,860 So those are important 97 00:03:59,110 --> 00:03:59,949 points of focus. 98 00:04:01,210 --> 00:04:02,800 But the heart of the model 99 00:04:03,570 --> 00:04:04,490 is never 100 00:04:04,899 --> 00:04:05,919 about what we do. 101 00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:08,330 So the skills matter, 102 00:04:08,410 --> 00:04:08,919 yes. 103 00:04:09,889 --> 00:04:12,059 But Landreth even discusses 104 00:04:12,389 --> 00:04:16,700 that if you just robotically recite the skills 105 00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:19,260 and the phrases and the concepts. 106 00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:23,559 It's not effective because it's about the relationship. 107 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,119 It's how we show up. 108 00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:28,600 It is about us being in the room 109 00:04:28,809 --> 00:04:31,920 and it's about being CCPT 110 00:04:32,570 --> 00:04:34,000 that's the heart of the model. 111 00:04:34,829 --> 00:04:35,589 And so 112 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,429 I want to be real clear as we wrap up this CCPT mindset. 113 00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:41,630 I don't want us to get lost in 114 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:42,589 the doing 115 00:04:43,119 --> 00:04:48,190 we're we're not doing CCPT we're not doing skills we're not doing therapy. 116 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,109 This isn't a checklist. 117 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,630 This is a way of being 118 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:56,799 and I really want that to kind of be the way that we wrap up this set. 119 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:57,470 So 120 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:00,880 if these are questions that you ask yourselves. 121 00:05:01,850 --> 00:05:04,079 You probably are in a doing 122 00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:05,170 mentality. 123 00:05:06,070 --> 00:05:07,579 So if you've ever said. 124 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:09,380 Did I do that right? 125 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:11,410 Did I say that right? 126 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,200 Did I execute that right? 127 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,630 Am I doing this right? 128 00:05:16,429 --> 00:05:18,170 That's a doing mentality. 129 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,329 What should I say here? 130 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:22,730 What should I do here? 131 00:05:23,730 --> 00:05:24,760 Doing mentality. 132 00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,269 What should I use in this moment? 133 00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:30,350 to help, 134 00:05:30,619 --> 00:05:33,100 what should I use in this moment to 135 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,290 Help the child move further along, 136 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,899 what should I do in this moment, 137 00:05:38,019 --> 00:05:38,989 doing mentality? 138 00:05:40,709 --> 00:05:41,320 And 139 00:05:41,519 --> 00:05:42,359 here are some signs. 140 00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:43,839 Those are questions you might ask yourselves. 141 00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:44,959 Here are some signs. 142 00:05:46,209 --> 00:05:48,850 You feel pressure to respond quote correctly. 143 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,339 Or 144 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,850 you measure your effectiveness by what you said or did. 145 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:55,679 So in other words, 146 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,049 you get to the end of a session, 147 00:05:57,119 --> 00:05:57,750 you're like, 148 00:05:58,119 --> 00:05:58,399 man, 149 00:05:58,559 --> 00:05:59,390 I was like, 150 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:00,880 really on it today, 151 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:04,230 like that was an awesome session cause I said and did the right things. 152 00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:09,600 Or you evaluate the session based on the outcomes. 153 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:11,880 Oh man, 154 00:06:12,029 --> 00:06:12,809 that kid 155 00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:14,470 had a huge symbolic shift. 156 00:06:14,510 --> 00:06:16,839 That kid had a new theme developed. 157 00:06:16,989 --> 00:06:19,950 That kid all of a sudden was able to articulate emotions. 158 00:06:20,029 --> 00:06:21,859 That's exactly what we were waiting for. 159 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,649 That's all doing mentality. 160 00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:27,950 So then in contrast, 161 00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:30,010 the being posture. 162 00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:30,829 I 163 00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:32,970 calm. 164 00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:35,059 And grounded 165 00:06:35,790 --> 00:06:37,670 And non anxious, 166 00:06:38,299 --> 00:06:40,010 those are the adjectives, 167 00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:40,769 but 168 00:06:41,299 --> 00:06:42,529 the important piece. 169 00:06:43,299 --> 00:06:44,239 Is presence 170 00:06:45,769 --> 00:06:49,959 You're calm and grounded and non-anxious and you're present. 171 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:53,730 You have a deep trust in the model 172 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,339 and in the child, 173 00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,029 those have to coexist. 174 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:02,160 You are willing to reflectively respond. 175 00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:05,170 Instead of rescue or fix. 176 00:07:07,459 --> 00:07:09,670 And you are able to embrace and boy, 177 00:07:09,750 --> 00:07:10,190 these are, 178 00:07:10,350 --> 00:07:11,309 these are tough ones, 179 00:07:11,429 --> 00:07:13,380 but this is the being posture. 180 00:07:13,829 --> 00:07:15,980 You're able to embrace silence. 181 00:07:17,299 --> 00:07:19,420 You're able to embrace stillness. 182 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:23,239 And or you're able to embrace repetition. 183 00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:26,890 And those, 184 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,149 as you can see, 185 00:07:28,179 --> 00:07:32,209 obviously the doing mentality versus the being very different 186 00:07:32,359 --> 00:07:33,170 in tone, 187 00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:34,130 in approach, 188 00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:35,529 in aura. 189 00:07:36,709 --> 00:07:37,459 And here's 190 00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:39,779 I think kind of 191 00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:42,440 thought provoking concepts here. 192 00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:45,220 Kids don't respond to techniques. 193 00:07:46,339 --> 00:07:47,369 They're not cognitive, 194 00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:48,369 they're not rational. 195 00:07:48,459 --> 00:07:49,809 They don't have abstract reasoning. 196 00:07:50,850 --> 00:07:52,760 They don't want to be told what to do, 197 00:07:52,929 --> 00:07:54,839 they don't want to be given an agenda, 198 00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:56,510 they don't want an activity, 199 00:07:56,769 --> 00:07:58,239 they don't want a worksheet, 200 00:07:58,450 --> 00:08:00,420 they don't respond to techniques, 201 00:08:00,769 --> 00:08:02,000 they respond to you. 202 00:08:03,540 --> 00:08:05,970 Landrithth emphasizes again and again. 203 00:08:07,149 --> 00:08:08,540 How you 204 00:08:08,790 --> 00:08:10,859 are an integral piece of 205 00:08:11,420 --> 00:08:12,940 the CCPT process. 206 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:15,989 Your presence, 207 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,320 your being, 208 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:18,549 your 209 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,109 engagement, 210 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,160 the relationship with you. 211 00:08:23,089 --> 00:08:25,290 You are a factor 212 00:08:25,549 --> 00:08:26,859 in the process. 213 00:08:27,429 --> 00:08:28,820 They respond to you. 214 00:08:30,529 --> 00:08:33,500 And the model works through congruence. 215 00:08:34,308 --> 00:08:35,609 When you are congruent, 216 00:08:35,830 --> 00:08:37,539 when the child is congruent, 217 00:08:37,869 --> 00:08:40,099 when there's congruence to the model, 218 00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:42,780 when there's congruence in the relationship. 219 00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:45,650 That's when the model works. 220 00:08:45,820 --> 00:08:48,159 It's not about outcome or performance. 221 00:08:49,549 --> 00:08:51,440 It works when there's congruence. 222 00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:53,869 Let's go back to Roger's core conditions. 223 00:08:55,450 --> 00:08:56,229 That's one of them. 224 00:08:57,479 --> 00:08:59,369 So it was unconditional positive regard. 225 00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:02,849 These are things that are brought in. 226 00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:04,940 That is why it works. 227 00:09:05,059 --> 00:09:08,729 The core conditions have to be met for self-actualization to take place. 228 00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:11,880 And doing 229 00:09:12,229 --> 00:09:13,299 can be 230 00:09:13,549 --> 00:09:14,440 imitated, 231 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:15,390 right? 232 00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:16,690 So you can, 233 00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:17,030 OK, 234 00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:18,030 I gotta tell you a quick story. 235 00:09:18,229 --> 00:09:19,799 I was on a coaching call this week 236 00:09:20,190 --> 00:09:21,130 and 237 00:09:21,739 --> 00:09:24,530 They were talking about what they were doing in sessions. 238 00:09:25,289 --> 00:09:27,150 And I forget who someone said. 239 00:09:28,010 --> 00:09:28,770 And I just, 240 00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:29,229 I heard, 241 00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,869 I heard your voice in my head. 242 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,270 And then someone else said, 243 00:09:32,359 --> 00:09:32,700 Oh yeah, 244 00:09:32,799 --> 00:09:33,440 I always think, 245 00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:35,150 what would Brenna say or do in this moment? 246 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:36,780 Another one says, 247 00:09:37,479 --> 00:09:37,599 you know, 248 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:38,080 Brenna, 249 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,070 you're always like, 250 00:09:39,159 --> 00:09:39,429 you know, 251 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:39,880 the, 252 00:09:39,919 --> 00:09:41,840 the person on our shoulder in the session. 253 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:42,039 Like, 254 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,669 you're always on our shoulder coaching us. 255 00:09:44,799 --> 00:09:45,549 And I was like, 256 00:09:45,799 --> 00:09:45,880 Yeah, 257 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,830 but am I the angel or the devil at that point? 258 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:48,000 Like, 259 00:09:48,039 --> 00:09:49,989 I don't know how I feel about this. 260 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:51,190 So, 261 00:09:52,039 --> 00:09:52,190 uh, 262 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,690 you can imitate me. 263 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:54,030 All right. 264 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:54,960 You, 265 00:09:55,039 --> 00:09:56,919 you can listen to these podcasts, 266 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,830 you can join the Collective and learn in there. 267 00:09:58,880 --> 00:09:59,890 You can coach with me, 268 00:09:59,969 --> 00:10:02,159 you can read on all the seminal works, 269 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:02,669 whatever. 270 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,119 You can imitate. 271 00:10:05,159 --> 00:10:06,669 What you should be doing. 272 00:10:08,070 --> 00:10:09,299 But being 273 00:10:09,849 --> 00:10:09,859 I 274 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:11,349 developed. 275 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,150 Being 276 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:14,669 is a process. 277 00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:17,419 Being as cultivated. 278 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,070 So if we focus on the doing 279 00:10:22,239 --> 00:10:23,369 and the imitation. 280 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:24,900 Of 281 00:10:25,109 --> 00:10:26,909 the more adherent version of ourselves, 282 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:27,700 for example, 283 00:10:27,869 --> 00:10:29,789 or the more confident version of ourselves or the 284 00:10:29,789 --> 00:10:31,780 more equipped or trained or skilled or whatever. 285 00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:33,669 If we focus on the doing, 286 00:10:34,190 --> 00:10:37,429 all of a sudden we've missed out on the process of becoming. 287 00:10:38,890 --> 00:10:40,159 Being is cultivated, 288 00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:41,349 it's a process. 289 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,090 And your presence 290 00:10:44,219 --> 00:10:44,809 is 291 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:45,900 the intervention. 292 00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:50,000 If you ignore everything I've said in this whole episode, 293 00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:51,760 please listen to that. 294 00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:54,760 Your presence is the intervention. 295 00:10:56,130 --> 00:10:57,369 It's not the doing, 296 00:10:57,450 --> 00:10:58,450 it's not the skill, 297 00:10:58,530 --> 00:10:59,799 it's not the technique, 298 00:10:59,969 --> 00:11:01,270 it's not the clinical, 299 00:11:01,450 --> 00:11:03,739 it's your very presence 300 00:11:04,049 --> 00:11:04,890 in the playroom. 301 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:07,250 That is the catalyst for change. 302 00:11:09,039 --> 00:11:09,530 So, 303 00:11:09,719 --> 00:11:11,080 to wrap this series up. 304 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:13,909 Many times 305 00:11:14,119 --> 00:11:16,349 the questions that are raised are 306 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,119 what should I say? 307 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:19,390 What should I do? 308 00:11:20,630 --> 00:11:22,700 We need to move away from that 309 00:11:23,109 --> 00:11:24,979 to who do I need to be. 310 00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:28,729 Who do I need to be 311 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,020 with my kids? 312 00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:32,390 Who do I need to be in the playroom? 313 00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:34,969 I need to be patient. 314 00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:37,409 I need to be unconditionally accepting. 315 00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:40,099 I need to be gracious. 316 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:41,979 I need to be calm. 317 00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:43,700 I need to be grounded. 318 00:11:44,419 --> 00:11:46,130 I need to be consistent. 319 00:11:46,409 --> 00:11:47,849 I need to be adherent. 320 00:11:49,169 --> 00:11:50,679 Who do I need to be? 321 00:11:52,150 --> 00:11:54,539 That is the question that we need to ask ourselves. 322 00:11:55,789 --> 00:11:57,190 And how do we do that? 323 00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:00,130 How do we become who we want to be? 324 00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:01,909 Well, 325 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:02,919 self-care. 326 00:12:04,489 --> 00:12:07,580 Intentional practice of self-regulation 327 00:12:08,109 --> 00:12:09,219 before sessions, 328 00:12:09,549 --> 00:12:10,780 after sessions, 329 00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:12,250 during sessions. 330 00:12:13,890 --> 00:12:13,900 There 331 00:12:14,239 --> 00:12:15,109 are 332 00:12:16,289 --> 00:12:19,599 Mechanisms that we need to have in place that help us go, 333 00:12:20,059 --> 00:12:20,250 OK, 334 00:12:20,289 --> 00:12:21,679 I need to give myself a minute. 335 00:12:22,719 --> 00:12:24,039 That session was, 336 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,119 was a little bit much. 337 00:12:25,190 --> 00:12:28,309 I'm gonna go close my eyes and sit in my office for 2 minutes. 338 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,580 I'm gonna lay on the playroom floor and deep 339 00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:33,890 breathe for a couple of minutes after that session. 340 00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:37,890 I'm going to go into a room and turn the lights off and just give myself 341 00:12:38,099 --> 00:12:39,669 lack of stimuli for a minute. 342 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:41,969 Before, 343 00:12:42,130 --> 00:12:42,450 during, 344 00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:43,690 and after sessions. 345 00:12:45,739 --> 00:12:47,049 We need to be self-regulating. 346 00:12:48,729 --> 00:12:52,650 That's the only way that we can be the things that we want to be in the playroom. 347 00:12:53,979 --> 00:12:56,159 And notice if your internal state 348 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:57,119 feels 349 00:12:57,770 --> 00:13:00,210 anything other than if you start feeling anxious, 350 00:13:00,309 --> 00:13:01,409 if you start doubting, 351 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,969 if you start feeling 352 00:13:03,479 --> 00:13:05,039 performative in your thoughts, 353 00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:06,169 if you start saying, 354 00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:07,640 what should I do right now? 355 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,030 Notice that catch those things. 356 00:13:11,479 --> 00:13:13,469 That's the checks and balances for yourself. 357 00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:17,659 The goal is that 358 00:13:17,969 --> 00:13:19,359 you work on 359 00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:20,659 your being, 360 00:13:21,049 --> 00:13:22,369 not just your skills. 361 00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:23,559 Skills are important. 362 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,080 Don't mishear me. 363 00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:26,049 You can't just say, 364 00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:26,210 well, 365 00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:29,159 I'm just gonna be in the playroom and things are gonna work out. 366 00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:32,440 You can be doing nothing if you're, 367 00:13:32,570 --> 00:13:34,169 if you have no idea of the model, 368 00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:34,840 OK? 369 00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:35,719 So 370 00:13:36,130 --> 00:13:38,039 I can't just be one or the other, 371 00:13:38,330 --> 00:13:39,640 but it's not 372 00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:41,570 just about skills. 373 00:13:42,219 --> 00:13:45,280 It's also about your way of being that should be 374 00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:47,039 what you focus on 375 00:13:47,690 --> 00:13:50,030 because the magic of CCPT 376 00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:53,169 and that word gets thrown around a lot and my staff makes fun of 377 00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:56,010 me if I throw it out because I typically say that that doesn't, 378 00:13:56,289 --> 00:13:57,159 it's not helpful 379 00:13:57,489 --> 00:13:59,640 because what does the magic of anything mean? 380 00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:00,609 But what it, 381 00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:02,679 what makes CCPT special? 382 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,739 There are magical things that happen in play, 383 00:14:05,909 --> 00:14:07,260 or there's no denying that. 384 00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:11,950 What makes it special is not the methods as much as it is you. 385 00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:15,299 It all comes back to relationship. 386 00:14:16,010 --> 00:14:16,659 As always, 387 00:14:16,809 --> 00:14:17,659 ad nausium, 388 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,289 here we are relationship again. 389 00:14:20,489 --> 00:14:23,669 We're not striving to master the model. 390 00:14:24,869 --> 00:14:28,570 I hope we're striving to let CCPT master us. 391 00:14:31,710 --> 00:14:34,210 And when you are CCPT. 392 00:14:35,059 --> 00:14:36,619 You are able to bring 393 00:14:36,989 --> 00:14:38,099 the same you 394 00:14:38,469 --> 00:14:39,739 to every child, 395 00:14:39,989 --> 00:14:41,219 every time, 396 00:14:41,669 --> 00:14:42,900 every session, 397 00:14:43,190 --> 00:14:43,989 no matter what. 398 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,570 That's the heart of what we're doing. 399 00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:48,809 That is 400 00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:51,140 the CCPT mindset. 401 00:14:52,409 --> 00:14:54,260 It's being CCPT 402 00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:55,940 so that every kid, 403 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:56,650 every time, 404 00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:57,500 every session, 405 00:14:57,580 --> 00:14:58,340 no matter what. 406 00:14:59,359 --> 00:15:00,909 Gets who we are. 407 00:15:01,909 --> 00:15:03,619 And we are CCPT. 408 00:15:05,539 --> 00:15:06,119 I love y'all. 409 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,159 We'll talk again soon. 410 00:15:07,359 --> 00:15:07,559 Bye. 411 00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:11,450 Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. 412 00:15:11,609 --> 00:15:12,520 Brenna Hicks. 413 00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:14,650 For more episodes and resources, 414 00:15:14,770 --> 00:15:19,530 please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.