312 | CCPT Mindset: The Final Mindset Shift…From Doing CCPT to Being CCPT

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are closing out the CCPT Mindset series,

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and this week we are talking about

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being versus doing.

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And we've hit on this before,

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but I think this will really wrap up the series in a helpful way,

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and it will tie into the other three topics that we've addressed in this series.

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Before we get into that though,

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I have a couple of housekeeping announcements.

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If you are new to the podcast,

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first of all,

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welcome.

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Very glad you found us,

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very glad you're here.

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This is an incredible group

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of CCPTs from all over the world.

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And you have joined

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the listener tribe and really glad that you're here.

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I know I have mentioned several times about the CPRT course that we are releasing.

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I spoke with Joseph with Corwell today.

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It is ready.

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We are ready to launch probably within the next few days,

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so I wanted to make you aware of that.

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Podcast listeners and my community,

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you are going to have a week

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where you can get $100 off the price of the course.

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And this is a thank you to you all.

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It's an acknowledgement that you're my people.

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And so

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I negotiated with them that we're going to offer the first week

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with a promo code so that you can get $100 off the course if you're interested.

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Let me really quickly tease what goes into this course

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so that you are aware of what you're getting.

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It's 16 hours of CEUs.

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And what makes this different and why I structured this course the way that I did

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is you don't just get the facilitation content

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out of the book and the manual,

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you actually get video examples of me facilitating

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each week to parents.

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So you get the instructional video about the content and then you

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get a demonstration video of me actually teaching the content to parents.

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So this is the most comprehensive CPRT training course

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that is out there as far as I'm aware.

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And it will give you 16 CEUs to boot.

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So not only does it help you to facilitate CPRT with confidence and competence,

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but it will also give you CEUs,

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and most of you all need about 30 or so

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for your license renewal,

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for example,

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so that's more than half of your requirements for your 2 year license renewal.

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It will all.

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So count toward your RPT hours if you're working toward those,

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and it will be CCPT in theory.

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So

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I'm super excited about this

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and stay tuned.

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We will do an email newsletter about it.

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We'll announce it in the Collective,

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we'll announce it on the podcast,

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and I'll give you that $100 code so that you can save money to boot,

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so.

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Very excited.

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That has taken us a ton of time,

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a ton of work.

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Corwell has just put in so much energy and effort into this,

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and I can't say this enough.

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Corwell has become such a champion for CCPT

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in the CEU world,

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and I'm really grateful for Joseph and Katie and their team.

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They have been fantastic,

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and they really believe.

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In what we're doing and they believe in the model and they've been so supportive,

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so that's a huge benefit to us

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to have someone that is coming alongside CCPT and

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wanting you to have access to all of your requirements

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in your model,

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and that is a huge gift.

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So I'm really grateful to Corwell as well.

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All righty,

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so let's dive into the being versus doing.

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We,

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I think often,

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as we should

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focus on mastering the skills of the model,

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and we need to know them,

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we need to execute them,

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we need to be adherent.

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So those are important

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points of focus.

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But the heart of the model

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is never

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about what we do.

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So the skills matter,

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yes.

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But Landreth even discusses

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that if you just robotically recite the skills

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and the phrases and the concepts.

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It's not effective because it's about the relationship.

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It's how we show up.

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It is about us being in the room

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and it's about being CCPT

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that's the heart of the model.

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And so

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I want to be real clear as we wrap up this CCPT mindset.

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I don't want us to get lost in

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the doing

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we're we're not doing CCPT we're not doing skills we're not doing therapy.

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This isn't a checklist.

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This is a way of being

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and I really want that to kind of be the way that we wrap up this set.

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So

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if these are questions that you ask yourselves.

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You probably are in a doing

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mentality.

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So if you've ever said.

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Did I do that right?

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Did I say that right?

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Did I execute that right?

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Am I doing this right?

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That's a doing mentality.

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What should I say here?

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What should I do here?

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Doing mentality.

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What should I use in this moment?

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to help,

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what should I use in this moment to

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Help the child move further along,

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what should I do in this moment,

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doing mentality?

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And

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here are some signs.

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Those are questions you might ask yourselves.

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Here are some signs.

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You feel pressure to respond quote correctly.

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Or

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you measure your effectiveness by what you said or did.

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So in other words,

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you get to the end of a session,

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you're like,

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man,

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I was like,

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really on it today,

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like that was an awesome session cause I said and did the right things.

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Or you evaluate the session based on the outcomes.

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Oh man,

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that kid

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had a huge symbolic shift.

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That kid had a new theme developed.

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That kid all of a sudden was able to articulate emotions.

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That's exactly what we were waiting for.

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That's all doing mentality.

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So then in contrast,

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the being posture.

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I

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calm.

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And grounded

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And non anxious,

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those are the adjectives,

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but

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the important piece.

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Is presence

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You're calm and grounded and non-anxious and you're present.

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You have a deep trust in the model

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and in the child,

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those have to coexist.

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You are willing to reflectively respond.

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Instead of rescue or fix.

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And you are able to embrace and boy,

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these are,

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these are tough ones,

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but this is the being posture.

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You're able to embrace silence.

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You're able to embrace stillness.

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And or you're able to embrace repetition.

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And those,

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as you can see,

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obviously the doing mentality versus the being very different

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in tone,

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in approach,

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in aura.

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And here's

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I think kind of

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thought provoking concepts here.

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Kids don't respond to techniques.

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They're not cognitive,

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they're not rational.

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They don't have abstract reasoning.

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They don't want to be told what to do,

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they don't want to be given an agenda,

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they don't want an activity,

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they don't want a worksheet,

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they don't respond to techniques,

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they respond to you.

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Landrithth emphasizes again and again.

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How you

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are an integral piece of

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the CCPT process.

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Your presence,

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your being,

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your

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engagement,

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the relationship with you.

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You are a factor

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in the process.

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They respond to you.

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And the model works through congruence.

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When you are congruent,

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when the child is congruent,

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when there's congruence to the model,

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when there's congruence in the relationship.

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That's when the model works.

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It's not about outcome or performance.

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It works when there's congruence.

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Let's go back to Roger's core conditions.

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That's one of them.

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So it was unconditional positive regard.

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These are things that are brought in.

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That is why it works.

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The core conditions have to be met for self-actualization to take place.

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And doing

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can be

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imitated,

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right?

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So you can,

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OK,

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I gotta tell you a quick story.

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I was on a coaching call this week

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and

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They were talking about what they were doing in sessions.

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And I forget who someone said.

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And I just,

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I heard,

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I heard your voice in my head.

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And then someone else said,

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Oh yeah,

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I always think,

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what would Brenna say or do in this moment?

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Another one says,

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you know,

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Brenna,

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you're always like,

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you know,

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the,

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the person on our shoulder in the session.

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Like,

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you're always on our shoulder coaching us.

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And I was like,

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Yeah,

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but am I the angel or the devil at that point?

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Like,

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I don't know how I feel about this.

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So,

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uh,

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you can imitate me.

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All right.

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You,

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you can listen to these podcasts,

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you can join the Collective and learn in there.

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You can coach with me,

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you can read on all the seminal works,

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whatever.

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You can imitate.

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What you should be doing.

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But being

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I

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developed.

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Being

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is a process.

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Being as cultivated.

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So if we focus on the doing

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and the imitation.

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Of

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the more adherent version of ourselves,

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for example,

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or the more confident version of ourselves or the

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more equipped or trained or skilled or whatever.

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If we focus on the doing,

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all of a sudden we've missed out on the process of becoming.

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Being is cultivated,

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it's a process.

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And your presence

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is

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the intervention.

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If you ignore everything I've said in this whole episode,

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please listen to that.

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Your presence is the intervention.

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It's not the doing,

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it's not the skill,

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it's not the technique,

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it's not the clinical,

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it's your very presence

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in the playroom.

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That is the catalyst for change.

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So,

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to wrap this series up.

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Many times

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the questions that are raised are

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what should I say?

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What should I do?

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We need to move away from that

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to who do I need to be.

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Who do I need to be

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with my kids?

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Who do I need to be in the playroom?

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I need to be patient.

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I need to be unconditionally accepting.

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I need to be gracious.

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I need to be calm.

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I need to be grounded.

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I need to be consistent.

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I need to be adherent.

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Who do I need to be?

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That is the question that we need to ask ourselves.

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And how do we do that?

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How do we become who we want to be?

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Well,

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self-care.

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Intentional practice of self-regulation

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before sessions,

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after sessions,

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during sessions.

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There

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00:12:14,239 --> 00:12:15,109
are

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Mechanisms that we need to have in place that help us go,

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00:12:20,059 --> 00:12:20,250
OK,

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00:12:20,289 --> 00:12:21,679
I need to give myself a minute.

335
00:12:22,719 --> 00:12:24,039
That session was,

336
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,119
was a little bit much.

337
00:12:25,190 --> 00:12:28,309
I'm gonna go close my eyes and sit in my office for 2 minutes.

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00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,580
I'm gonna lay on the playroom floor and deep

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00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:33,890
breathe for a couple of minutes after that session.

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00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:37,890
I'm going to go into a room and turn the lights off and just give myself

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00:12:38,099 --> 00:12:39,669
lack of stimuli for a minute.

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Before,

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during,

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and after sessions.

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We need to be self-regulating.

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That's the only way that we can be the things that we want to be in the playroom.

347
00:12:53,979 --> 00:12:56,159
And notice if your internal state

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00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:57,119
feels

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00:12:57,770 --> 00:13:00,210
anything other than if you start feeling anxious,

350
00:13:00,309 --> 00:13:01,409
if you start doubting,

351
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,969
if you start feeling

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00:13:03,479 --> 00:13:05,039
performative in your thoughts,

353
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:06,169
if you start saying,

354
00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:07,640
what should I do right now?

355
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,030
Notice that catch those things.

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That's the checks and balances for yourself.

357
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The goal is that

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00:13:17,969 --> 00:13:19,359
you work on

359
00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:20,659
your being,

360
00:13:21,049 --> 00:13:22,369
not just your skills.

361
00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:23,559
Skills are important.

362
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,080
Don't mishear me.

363
00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:26,049
You can't just say,

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00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:26,210
well,

365
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:29,159
I'm just gonna be in the playroom and things are gonna work out.

366
00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:32,440
You can be doing nothing if you're,

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00:13:32,570 --> 00:13:34,169
if you have no idea of the model,

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00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:34,840
OK?

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00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:35,719
So

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00:13:36,130 --> 00:13:38,039
I can't just be one or the other,

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00:13:38,330 --> 00:13:39,640
but it's not

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00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:41,570
just about skills.

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00:13:42,219 --> 00:13:45,280
It's also about your way of being that should be

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00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:47,039
what you focus on

375
00:13:47,690 --> 00:13:50,030
because the magic of CCPT

376
00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:53,169
and that word gets thrown around a lot and my staff makes fun of

377
00:13:53,169 --> 00:13:56,010
me if I throw it out because I typically say that that doesn't,

378
00:13:56,289 --> 00:13:57,159
it's not helpful

379
00:13:57,489 --> 00:13:59,640
because what does the magic of anything mean?

380
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:00,609
But what it,

381
00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:02,679
what makes CCPT special?

382
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,739
There are magical things that happen in play,

383
00:14:05,909 --> 00:14:07,260
or there's no denying that.

384
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:11,950
What makes it special is not the methods as much as it is you.

385
00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:15,299
It all comes back to relationship.

386
00:14:16,010 --> 00:14:16,659
As always,

387
00:14:16,809 --> 00:14:17,659
ad nausium,

388
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,289
here we are relationship again.

389
00:14:20,489 --> 00:14:23,669
We're not striving to master the model.

390
00:14:24,869 --> 00:14:28,570
I hope we're striving to let CCPT master us.

391
00:14:31,710 --> 00:14:34,210
And when you are CCPT.

392
00:14:35,059 --> 00:14:36,619
You are able to bring

393
00:14:36,989 --> 00:14:38,099
the same you

394
00:14:38,469 --> 00:14:39,739
to every child,

395
00:14:39,989 --> 00:14:41,219
every time,

396
00:14:41,669 --> 00:14:42,900
every session,

397
00:14:43,190 --> 00:14:43,989
no matter what.

398
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,570
That's the heart of what we're doing.

399
00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:48,809
That is

400
00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:51,140
the CCPT mindset.

401
00:14:52,409 --> 00:14:54,260
It's being CCPT

402
00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:55,940
so that every kid,

403
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:56,650
every time,

404
00:14:56,700 --> 00:14:57,500
every session,

405
00:14:57,580 --> 00:14:58,340
no matter what.

406
00:14:59,359 --> 00:15:00,909
Gets who we are.

407
00:15:01,909 --> 00:15:03,619
And we are CCPT.

408
00:15:05,539 --> 00:15:06,119
I love y'all.

409
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,159
We'll talk again soon.

410
00:15:07,359 --> 00:15:07,559
Bye.

411
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:11,450
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

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00:15:11,609 --> 00:15:12,520
Brenna Hicks.

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00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:14,650
For more episodes and resources,

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00:15:14,770 --> 00:15:19,530
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.