Amira Martin:Believe in Yourself: A Social Worker's Journey to Breaking Barriers

Welcome to Why Not Me? Embracing Autism and Mental Health Worldwide?
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Tune in, be inspired, and join us in transforming the
world one story at a time. Hi, I'm Tony Mantur.
Welcome to Why Not Me? Embracing Autism and Mental Health Worldwide.
Today we welcome Amira Martin, the heart and soul behind
MAA Therapy. Amira is a compassionate and skilled therapist whose
mission is to empower people to embrace their journey toward
healing and self discovery. She creates a warm, non judgmental
space for clients to navigate life ups and downs. Known
for her authentic approach and deep commitment to mental wellness,
Amira is here to share insights that will inspire and
give hope. So before we dive into our episode, we'll
be back with an uninterrupted show right after a word
from our sponsors. Thanks for coming on my pleasure.
My pleasure. I was able to read up a little
bit about you and look up some of your story
and it's pretty cool.
Thanks so much. I appreciate that out. Could you give
us a little background on what you do?
So I have a licensed clinical social worker, so I'm
a psychotherapist, so I do talk therapy, but I have
a group practice where I have other therapists who also
work in the practice and provide services. And we're very specific,
like there's a large focus on women and there's also
a large focus on women of color in my practice.
The mission is really twofold, right, Well, I have like
a few different things that are all through one in
ma A Therapy is my company. The most important thing
is providing bias free psychotherapy to women and particularly to
women of color. We also work with men. We also
have a section focused on LGBTQIA plus individuals, but are
real like the base of our mission started there and
so that's where we do most of our work. So
not only are we aiming to provide really good, high
quality care at affordable rate. But also the women who
come into the practice, you know, I prepare them in
terms of like supervision. We have multiple supervisors on board,
so they get good supervision. They also gain their clinical
hours and when they're ready, help them to establish their
own practices. So we're also kind of like just spreading
and growing people of color, women of color owned private
practices by doing that, and they also take their caseloads
with them. So that's really like the bulk, the main
thing that I do and the most important thing to
me that I do.
That's really good.
So are you like a school where you teach people
to become therapists or are they already therapist coming to
you to get more exposure and experience.
So I'm a therapist, and when they come in their therapist,
but they may not be fully licensed yet, they may
not be sure that they can do the sort of work.
Some come in with tons of experience. But yeah, so
I work with them to get them to the point
where they can reach their full licensure and have enough
hours and past their exam, and also train them along
the way and how to set up their own private practice.
So in your therapy, what kind of person would you
be seeing walking through your door? Can you expand on
that sum?
Yeah, so anyone who comes through our doors, honestly, but
we reach out particularly to BIPOC women and women in general.
That's our largest client base. And then we also have
some LGBTQA plus folk that go to a mirror for them.
That's another division that we have, and then a mirror
for him, which is our male BIPOC focus group.
Okay, so when a person comes through your doors, how
do you start? What's your situation in where you try
to get them to relax, to open up so that
you can help them, because, needless to say, going to
a therapist could be very intimidating for most people.
Absolutely, So a couple of things. I mean, I think
when people first start, they are very often very nervous, right,
They're afraid of being judged, They're afraid of saying the
wrong thing, they're afraid of suddenly seeming like a psychopath, right, Like,
all the anxieties that just kind of come up for
them because they know that they're kind of being watched
and looked at and observed, and that's a pretty scary feeling.
Sure.
So the first thing is really just explaining to them
that everything private, everything's contidential unless there's like some major
form of risk, right like they're going to commit suicide
or something like that. And then after that just welcoming
them into the space and talking with them about what's
been happening for them, like why did they decide they
wanted to start therapies? There anything pressing for them, And
I think just giving them that level of consideration of
really turning it into like, I'm here to assist you
and what your needs are, I think that kind of helps.
And also them knowing that, you know, this is not
something that's going to be shared. It's literally illegal for
me to share this. And then like once they start
with that, it's a little easier to get into like
the full assessment and figuring out what their whole history
is and different mental health challenges that man have come
up for them, or emotional states, how they were raised,
all those sorts of things to really get you know,
a really layered look at them.
Now you work with people in the mental health community,
what conditions is it that you see? Is it schizophrenia,
bipolar disorder ADHD, or anxiety. With all the individuals that
you work with, what would be the most common scenario
that you would expect to see walk through your door.
They're definitely spread out. I'd say, I definitely get a
lot of clients with ADHD, a lot of women with ADHD.
In terms of bipolar disorder, we do have some clients
with bipolar disorder for Sureizophrenia not so much because that's
really more of a particular clinical style, and they also
need more support than we're able to give, you know,
so we really lead through and assess carefully to make
sure that we can provide them with the proper care
and the services that they need when they reach out.
I'd say our most common diagnoses that we see in
people are like generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, anxiety disorder,
trauma along at a PTSD, a lot of trauma. Those
are really the more common ones. And then yes, also
definitely ADHD, bipolar disorder, those are probably the most common ones.
Okay, Now do you see autistic people They can have
issues of trying to fit in, masking all the things
to go along with that.
Do you see them at all?
Yeah, we do see them, like that's not our particular focus,
but it's become something that we've had to learn and
really learn how to do and understand and assess, and
a population we've had to learn to work with more
just because I think that not that they are more diagnoses,
but I think that there's just a little bit more
of an awareness around it now. So when we have
couples coming in with communication issues or challenges, or somebody's
coming in and they've had like repeated relationship challenges at work,
at home and all these different areas of their life,
as we kind of peel back the layers and like
really get to know them and understand them, a lot
of times we do see that someone somewhere on the
autism spectrum.
You know, do you find yourself working with a lot
of therapists that are trying to expand themselves, or do
you find yourself working with a larger group of people
that could walk in off the street, or do you
find yourself doing both.
It's really well, I'd say I do more direct client
services to people who want care than anything else, but
it is definitely part of my mission to brain other
therapists and helped them to get into this field, especially
women and also in addition to that, especially women of
color only because through my own journey, that was very
challenging getting into this field. A lot of times when
you're in these different careers, it's hard to get a mentor,
it's hard to get somebody to help you take your
stuff to that level or understand what those steps would
look like, even if you have the licensure. You know.
So that's always been something really important to me.
That makes total sense.
I think it's interesting you bring up challenges because everybody
faces their.
Own challenges, absolutely.
Yeah, what were.
Some of the challenges that you faced, and are you
able to use those challenges that you face and overcome
to help people overcome their own challenges?
Yeah, so you mean, like life challenges in general. How
far do you want me to go back, Tony?
Yeah, I guess a good place to start is some
of the challenges that you faced that you might have
thought held you back some or in your mind you
thought held you back, but then and when you faced them,
you found out that it really didn't help you back
and you move forward.
Yeah, you know, this is an interesting one. I think
the biggest challenge that held me back was for me
growing up in a community where I didn't see success
that looked like me. I didn't see people that looked
similar to me in professional roles. Nobody in my family
except for one aunt. My aunt Lauren, had a college degree,
So it was like, can I really do this? Can
I really go to college? Can I really you know,
do these things? Am I smart enough? Am I capable enough?
And I have to say, in all honesty, it was
probably my sister Gail who really believed in me the most.
My older sister and I'm one of seven, Okay, my
sister Gail believed in me the most, and she was like, absolutely,
you can do this. You've got this. If anybody can
do this a mirror, it's you. And so I think
she said something to me that has stuck with me
all my life, which was don't stop yourself, let other
people stop you. So just that belief in self trying
even when you're afraid and you haven't seen it done before.
I think that that's probably one of the biggest obstacles
of personal deep work that I had to do for me,
just to believe that it was possible for me.
I think that's great.
It just shows to everybody that something can happen if
you try.
So what college did you go to? So?
I went to all UNI all the way so City
University of New York, the least expensive systems that I
possibly could find, Lehman Colleges where I got my bachelor's degree.
I graduated magna cum laud. I had an amazing experience
with a social work faculty there. And then I went
to Tilberman School of Social Work at Hunter College, an
advanced program which is really incredibly competitive and also incredibly inexpensive,
which is also part of CuNi. So those were the
two schools that I went to for my education and training.
Wow, that's great. Now you say you focus on women
of color and sometimes you will get men. What are
some of the challenges that you see or they may
see that they are going through.
I think a lot of the self belief across the
board for bipoc folk and also for women, and also
for poor white folk. I think belief in oneself is
a massive challenge for lots of populations that are not,
you know, considered the ideal population, right, So I think
that's one, But I also think that just having the
multiple demands, right, so having a family where you might
be the only one to go to college or one
of a couple, and then having to take care of parents, grandparents, siblings.
These of the nephews need help, so lots of like
financial and personal obligations that other people might not have
who are also in the field or in the profession. Okay,
I think that's one. Then also I think finding the
opportunities and opportunities that they can actually do right, because
a lot of the people that I work with in
my practice, as like nicians coming in and also buians,
are dealing with some of the same similar stuff, which
is like not enough income and not enough opportunity and
trying to figure out how to create the best out
of a situation where they're just where there may be,
you know, really challenge with finding what they need.
Sure, that makes perfect sense. Now do you see most
of your clients in the city. What locations are you
finding them from?
Yeah, well it's in New York, New York State. We
cover all of New York State. We see most of
our clients virtual, But we started in Brooklyn in Bedstye.
We were in person there until the pandemic had We
had a few offices there and then we've gone online.
Haven't gone back.
Yes, the pandemic changed everything for sure. So where do
you find that your clients fall into. Is it middle class,
lower middle class, working class with a little higher income.
Where do they fall or is it a combination of everyone.
I would say it's a combination of all. We definitely
have a combination. M'd say we get the most of
our clients are probably working class, after working class, middle class,
and after middle class upper income folk. But I'd say
the bulk are working and lower middle class people.
So do you see a lot of the same challenges
across the board? I mean a lot of people think
that if you make a lot of money that everything's okay,
and we know that that's not the truth absolutely, So
do you see a lot of those things coincide with everyone,
no matter what the income range may be.
I think, you know, it's really hard when a person
has lots of means and still can't find satisfaction in
life and has to do a lot of work to
find joy and satisfaction in one way, that's an incredibly
difficult challenge, right, like having all the means that you
can possibly have and still not being able to find joy.
So I think that's definitely one that I've seen. And
then I think in terms of the working class group,
I think really finances, childcare, understanding trauma, understanding the impacts
of trauma, police brutality, or housing, Understanding all of these
different things and the impact on their lives living in
rural areas. We have clients who live in rural parts
of New York, so just really understand how the environment
has impacted them and what those challenges have meant for
them and how they can make changes. I think that's
also been incredibly hard.
Okay, So I've always been interested when you have someone
that comes to you. They seem to have the perfect life,
good job, good family, everything seems to be in place,
yet they just are not happy. How do you approach that?
I mean, it's an internal thing. They are going through something,
but you got to dig it out, You got to
find out what is causing it, what is the root cause.
So I would think that that could be very challenging
as well. So how do you approach that?
It absolutely is? It absolutely is? So I really use
a lot of like literature and research in my work
sometimes with those sorts of clients, And so what we
know from studies is that Happiness comes from being part
of community. Happiness comes from a sense of belonging. Happiness
comes from generosity, connection and giving. That's what all the
studies have shown. So I challenged them to do things like, well,
how are you connecting with your family? Is there a
church or a spiritual group or a mission that you'd
like to be part of where you'd feel a sense
of connection. How can you give to the community that
you're part of or the community that you care about.
How can you give and stay connected or get connected
if you're not feeling connected literally finding ways to be
part of a group and also to be an active,
useful part of a group in terms of giving and
having that role of like connecting through care for others.
That's what research has shown is part of what makes
people happy. So I work with them on having them
take those actual steps.
How do you get them to do that?
I mean, sometimes they could be afraid to come out
of that shell for whatever reason it may be. They
might have that preconception that the more they open up,
the more vulnerable they are. They might feel like because
of that they'll get taken advantage of.
So that's a tough thing to overcome. How do you
approach that, Yeah, I mean I.
Talk about it very transparently, right and like and also
there are ways to give and connect without having to
become like a mark, right. There are ways to do
things where you don't feel like you are going to
be used or miss used, or you might feel like
you are, but you won't.
Allow it to happen.
So I talk alful with them about boundaries, but I
think that once we get to about session four or five,
they usually feel pretty safe and vulnerable enough to really
speak to those things. And I just address them authentically
and honestly, well, yeah, you know you feel this way,
and I can understand it, right, Usually I can fully
understand it and what their experiences have been or why
they may feel that way. But you're not happy, and
if we're going to get you to the next step,
then something has to change. So these are the things
that I know can help that usually do help. Do
you want to try them or do you want to
try something else? Or you just kind of content where
you are And I just kind of lay it out
there really honestly and transparently and let them make the
decision that's going to work for them.
Yeah, totally makes sense. Now we're living in a society
that's changed over the last five or ten years. Yeah,
some of that has put a lot of pressure on people.
They're afraid of losing their jobs or all the social
change is happening. I mean, we can create a list
of things. Yeah, how do you address something like that?
I mean, that's not anything that anyone can control. Then,
when we look at things that's going on in the world,
and then what's going on in our little part of
the world, it's still something we can't control. So how
do you help them get to a better place so
at least they are not stressing out about things that
are out of their control.
Yeah. I think that's a great question. And I just
want to add I've had clients who have already lost
their jobs and the changes that have happened. My husband's
about to lose his job based on the change that
has happened, and my clients, many of my clients get
on and are like, this is horrible. My cousin just
lost her job. I don't know what's next. Well, I
have healthcare. I can't control it. I'm spiraling like that.
I have a good number of clients who are going
through that and jump on every session and want to
start there, and I'm open for it because they're really
in crisis. But the way I have to really look
at that sort of a situation is it's true validate
that we don't have control over that, right, So what
do we do and we don't have control over a
situation where we are really at risk?
Right?
First of all, we express ourselves. We find people that
we can talk to who share a common belief system
where we can express how we're feeling on a regular
basis and get empathy and understanding, and just that shared
sense of expression and understanding with each other helps. Second
thing that we do is we find the way to
take care of ourselves on a daily basis, every single day,
to provide ourselves with a sense of calm and peace
going through the world. So I may not be able
to change what's funded or not funded throughout our country
and the world, but I can take control over my day.
I can control getting up at the same time. I
can control meditating in the morning, I control having tea.
I can control calling my aunt in the afternoon. I
can control certain things. I can control going to bed.
I can control the sense of normalcy in my life.
Those are really great points. Are there any other subjects
that you add to that to help them feel better
about themselves and what they're going through.
The third thing that I think is really important is
to find a way to be active. Find a way
to be active with these things that are causing you pain,
that are causing you this trouble that you're worried about,
that you're saying, are you gonna Whether it's writing a letter,
or writing two letters, or signing up for one of
those email one of those sisters, really send you an
email and ask you to, you know, send this to
your congress person, whether it's a two in a march,
whether it's that you want to go to church and
pray with a group about these issues, whatever's going to
work for you, finding a way to be active in it.
So those three things. One is taking care of yourself
day to day and having your routine. The second is
doing the things that are connecting with community. And the
third is, you know, really making sure that you find
the way that you can be active and work against
the things that are harming you or that you feel
a harmful in the way they're manageable. Right, Because I'd
never tell people like, oh yeah, go out and protest,
but what feels okay for you and the reality of
your forty plus hour week and your wife and your
three kids.
Right, Yeah, those are all great valid points. Now, if
a person needs meds or they just need some little help,
are you in a position where you can help them?
Do you write them or you just turn them on
to someone that can help them get what they need.
Yeah, so we do turn them to someone else to
do that. So we have a few someone else as though.
We have three psychiatrists that we work with on a
regular basis and have built relationships with. So we have
those individuals that we refer directly to and we usually
share information. And you know it's helpful, right because a
lot of times with the prescription, it's not a one
time deal. They have to go back, they have to
get refined and this medication working. What are the side
effects that too strong? Is it too weak? Do they
need something else altogether? Like, it's a whole process. So
we've built relationships with a few specific providers to make
that process easier for them and for us.
Yeah, everything you said is just so true. So how
long have you been doing this with your practice.
So I started my practice in October of twenty eleven
in the basement of my home in Brooklyn. So it's
been almost fourteen years.
Wow, fourteen years. So what are some of the changes
that you've seen from when you started to where you are.
Now in terms of the practice.
Yeah, your practice, the type of people you're seeing, the challenges,
are they any different, the emotions of the way people
are handling things, just overall. Have you noticed the difference
between the way people acted and reacted when you started
to where you are now.
I'd say yes, there has been a dramatic change. I
think probably about eight years or so ago, there became
a really big change where people anxiety started. I'd say
probably actually around COVID about four years ago when COVID started,
that was a more significant shift in terms of like
the amount of anxiety and trauma and loss that people
were dealing with. And then with the current political climate
that's been stepped up again. Now it feels very similar
to that time where people are like every day I'm
getting calls and people are reaching out, and my client
base is worried and afraid and uncertain and having to
intentionally I'm having to intentionally work with them on finding
peace and finding something of control in their environment.
Yeah, I see where so many people have been affected
by so many different things. Now, you work with men,
you work with women, you work with any children at all.
Me personally, I work with adults. I have worked with
children in the past, but it's really challenging for me
for lots of reasons, just in terms of like a
lot of times with children the issue really lies in
like their parenting and the way they're being parented in
the situations around them. Sometimes they have their own specific issues,
but it's really a family approach is needed a lot
of times when children are involved, parents are working or
busy or uncertain of how to deal with it. So
I find that dynamic really challenging. And I also just
love and enjoy working with adults, so I focus more
on adults some adolescents. But I'd say my prime group
is eighteen to seventy five probably.
Wow, that's a wide age varians there. Now, what percentage
of women versus men do you work with?
Oh, I'd say at this point earlier in my practice,
that's one change that has happened. I probably have maybe
forty percent men, sixty percent women. Now, I have about
ninety percent women, ten percent men, and I market more
directly and explicitly two women. Now.
Okay, so earlier you mentioned you work with more women
of color than others. Does that still hold true or
are you expanding to many different people.
We have a blend, but it is more women of color,
but we do have a blend. We definitely have a
good percentage of women that are not.
Yeah, and that's the main thing.
If you can help someone, I mean, that's your goals
to help everybody that you can help. Now, I understand
that you have something else on the side that's kind
of like a course to help people. Can you expand
on that a little?
Well, one thing that I do, but I feel like
almost embarrassed to mention it. I have a private practice
course that I also give my clinicians for free when
they work with me. And I also do have some
trainings that I do around private practice building. So that's
one other thing that I do. I think that's great.
The more people you help, more people they help. So
it's a really great thing that you're doing. Now, when
you get into subjects with people, I'm sure it can
get pretty dark at times, So when that darkness starts
coming out and you feel their pain, how do you
turn it around to help them?
Yeah, so I explore the ugly part with them too,
and I talk about the ugly part, and then I
talk about and I compare and I have them think
through with me creatively, like, well, who do you who
else might be dealing with this sort of a challenge?
What about this group or what about that person you know?
Or could you see this happening to someone who was
dealing with X, Y Z And they're able to usually
kind of like normalize the struggle and some of the
challenges that they deal with, for sure.
Yeah, I think that's a good way to handle it.
I mean, this is a tough world right now. It's
probably one of the toughest we've ever seen. It definitely
triggers people's anxieties and touches on so many things. So
with all the anxieties this happening, we just have to
find a way to get it back to at least
a more structured, peaceful form of living so people can
build their lives, move on with the lies, and then
hopefully thrive.
Absolutely, So, what would you like to.
Tell the listeners that you feel they really need to
hear something that tells them what you're doing, what you're
trying to do, what you're accomplishing, maybe things that can
give them hope that their lives can change as well.
Yeah, thank you, I love that question. So I think
a couple of things want is to look at things
from through a historical ends. There have always been and
every you know, a couple hundred or so years, there
are all sorts of different challenges that tend to pop up,
so you know, we're not dealing with any challenges separate
the global warming stuff that are brand new, right, Like,
these are things that have happened, and they've happened in
the US, and they've happened in other parts of the world,
and we get through them. And it's not easy, and
it's not saying that no one's going to suffer or
there won't be harm done, but we manage to get
through and get to a sense of a normal place again. Right,
I can take a while, but it will likely happen.
And the other thing I think that's really important is
that people understand that their fears and their feelings, their
concerns are normal and that they should connect with others
who they feel understand them and they need to take
good care of themselves nowadays, right, take really good care.
Take an exercise class, or do a YouTube video workout,
or go for a bike ride, or you go to
bed at the same time every night, at the very least,
like take care of yourself because it is a challenging
time and you can come through it less scathed or
you're unscathed. Who knows if you do some of those things.
Yeah, that's absolutely true. Well, this has been great, good conversation,
good information. I really appreciate you taking the time to
join us today.
Terrific. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you having me.
I really really do so thank you.
Oh it's my pleasure. Thanks again.
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