Finally, A Little Love for Lala!

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It's La La Kent.

00:00:02
Speaker 2: Welcome to Untraditionally, Lala, Hello, gorgeous, Welcome back to Untraditionally Lala. I am hyped out of my effing mind because we are doing the opposite of a hater's podcast today, and we are doing an episode of a lover's podcast.

00:00:20
Speaker 1: That's right.

00:00:21
Speaker 2: You guys wrote in you wanted to give me my flowers, you wanted to toot my horn, you wanted to show me some love. And you are rippin' if you think I would say no to that. So I've got three callers on the line. I'm going to zoom in a lot of you guys said on the beef things. You're like, that one's Kristin Doty, that one's this person. You guys, I'm zooming with these people. We're not showing you their faces because we want to protect their privacy, but I see them. There's no one I know on these calls. With that, let's get it popping. With my first caller, Miranda, I'm so nervous.

00:00:52
Speaker 3: I'm nervous. Don't say that.

00:00:54
Speaker 1: You're nervous too, Hi, Bibe, I don't know.

00:00:59
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm more nervous for this than I was about having the haters on.

00:01:03
Speaker 3: Oh that's so funny. I'm like, great, she's saying, she I'm nervous. I'm like talking into my camera because I wanted you to know I am recording on my phone. If that's okay with you.

00:01:11
Speaker 1: I would love that. That's amazing, like.

00:01:13
Speaker 3: Behind the scenes. But I'm literally saying like I'm nervous. Okay, here they come. And then that's the first.

00:01:17
Speaker 1: Thing you say, I know, No, we're right here, We're in sync.

00:01:19
Speaker 2: It just goes to show that, like I'm so much more comfortable in conflict than I am with like sweetness and softness.

00:01:30
Speaker 3: Originally, I was supposed to come on for the hater podcast just saying I don't know if you know that. No, okay, Well I reached out about that just because I was like, I have a lot to say to this girl, and like I like her. I used to like her. He ticked me off a little bit, you know that last season whatever, But the sobriety for me has been like the biggest grounding point I guess with my parasocial relationship with you.

00:01:52
Speaker 1: I'll say, okay, I love this.

00:01:53
Speaker 3: So I like reached back out and I was like, yo, can I talk with her about sobriety?

00:01:57
Speaker 2: I would love this. Okay, so you you wanted to or you did reach out for the Haters episode because I ticked you off. Tell me why I ticked you off.

00:02:07
Speaker 3: It's just this switch up, dude. I was like, I have no idea, like I was such, I am like, I love you, come on your Lalla. And then it was like what happened the girl that like I don't want to say I fully like role modeled you. But I was like, Okay, this is somebody who I actually align with. She knows very confident with herself, and I felt like I had a sense of Lalla in me. So it's like you reached a certain target with people, and then when we assume those roles, right, it's like, Okay, I have this mindset, this headspace. Now I'm giving them Lalla in my every day as Miranda, right, I expected you to then give Lalla all the way like with that me being a Lalla person is like I am and I know you hate the word because I do. Listen girls, girl, but how about just people's person?

00:02:53
Speaker 1: I love that even more girl.

00:02:55
Speaker 3: Out of it people's person. I didn't understand it, but there was a lot going on that we all didn't understand. Actually, so I think that, like hindsight's always twenty twenty. But I mean, I've listened. I listened to the Haters podcast and everything you said, your growth is there. I can't hate on somebody who's actively trying to be a better version of themselves every day. So that's why I was like, I'm just I want her to know that. Like I didn't understand that whatsoever, because I really expected you to kind of be there more so for Arianna, I guess, and like I'm a very big vander pump Rolls fan. I mean I watched since the beginning. I moved out to West Hollywood, not because of the show, just because I saw the life and I was like, ooh, I'm a speech therapist. I'm gonna move out there.

00:03:38
Speaker 1: And so I love this.

00:03:40
Speaker 3: I made a song for Katie and arian and Sandwich Shop something about that. I don't know if you ever heard it, but anyway, but I'll download it.

00:03:48
Speaker 1: Why do I get it Spotify?

00:03:50
Speaker 3: It's a big, big fan. So I always loved you guys. Was very confused at that end, but I think that you had just your own stuff going on, and the other thing is production. They should show I know more of what's going on because you're like having these like attitudes and these energies and like we don't know where it's coming from. So again, while we're watching, I could be so ramped up, but like I'll always be like all right, his side her aside the truth, So like what really went down?

00:04:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that that's you know, I've been doing this for a decade and I have learned to never get married to my own story because even though I am on a reality show, there's a job to do.

00:04:30
Speaker 1: This is entertainment for people.

00:04:32
Speaker 2: So I almost have to develop, or I guess, disassociate from my own reality because what I'm sharing may not be interesting enough, it may not make sense because we don't have the time to capture it all. And I have to know that everything I've shared I'm not married to. If people don't know, I hope that they enjoy the show. Season eleven was horrendous and horrible. You listen to the episode. I've said it many times. I I should have never gone back. I should have focused on myself and my kids and and honed in on what I needed to do to accept my reality, and it just didn't land. But this was a part of my journey. And I'm so happy that you wrote into the Haters episode, but I'm even happier that you're writing into this one.

00:05:16
Speaker 3: Oh thank you. And I was gonna say, like, okay, so the circling of this, I am what we would call California sober. So I haven't alcohol in over a year.

00:05:26
Speaker 2: I did just celebrate a year of sobriety and congratulations, really.

00:05:30
Speaker 3: A year sober from alcohol. And the reason why I wrote in with the sobriety was because in my sobriety journey, I then realized more about what happened, honestly, because my expectations of you during your sobriety, I mean, I have an expectation as I'm watching right, so she's sober, why is she acting like that? And that was something that like it during my own sobriety, I was like, WHOA, I'm acting in certain ways? Why am I acting like that? I'm not drinking, why am I acting like so? It's just it's been such a big learning curve of like introspection and then also just like realizing others different realities. I've always been like a feeler, but I just feel like it's let me. I've opened up and like unlocked a new layer of my empathy, which is very cool. If that makes sense.

00:06:13
Speaker 2: It makes all the sense. Okay, I get everything you're putting down right now because I'm in it with you.

00:06:18
Speaker 3: Bring up the Haters episode because it does connect to the sobriety, which is like, if I were to watch that now, ooh, my mindset would be so different, the expectations would be so so.

00:06:28
Speaker 2: Different due to your path in giving up drinking. Yes, that is you know, there have been many moments where I've been a dry drunk, and those moments are still alive and well where I have to check myself. And it was interesting during that entire season that there were some women that were sober and said, I know exactly what she's doing right now. This is step five, this is step four, this is step nine.

00:06:58
Speaker 1: And I wish that.

00:06:59
Speaker 2: Van under Pump rules would have captured more of my sobriety and what goes into it, because it's not just I wake up and don't drink. There's a lot of things I'm held accountable, whether it's on camera or not. I have a sponsor that I go to and I it's I'm in constant conflict because everything that I practice in my sobriety to God into the world is counterintuitive of what I do for a living, and it is a mind fuck. And there are so many times Sorry.

00:07:33
Speaker 3: Oh it's okay, I have goosebumps. I want you to know I feel what you're saying.

00:07:37
Speaker 1: Thank you, Like at.

00:07:40
Speaker 2: Night when I come home from filming and things, and I'm like, I know that, like I spoke my truth and things like that, and I know that, like this is my real life, and I know that this is also entertainment, but I feel like I'm I'm letting myself down and I'm like trying to make it right with God.

00:07:57
Speaker 1: Like I hope you understand.

00:08:00
Speaker 2: It's very confusing at times. So I'm happy that you're coming from a place of not drinking and knowing how it can be a conflict. Sorry, I did not expect that to happen. I should expect it to happen.

00:08:13
Speaker 1: I cry.

00:08:14
Speaker 2: I am a crier by nature. Anyway, there's that. And I'm really happy that you called in to talk about one of the biggest pieces of my life, which is sobriety. It's the most important thing to me. Without it, like, I can't show it for my kids, I can't provide for them. I'm worthless to every single person. So I'm so happy that. I mean, your skin alone shows that you don't drink. By the way, you've got gorgeous skin and hair.

00:08:42
Speaker 3: Well, well, I appreciate that a lot. I love crying. I encourage crying As a speech therapist, I encourage all of this, like express yourself. Okay, sometimes we don't have the words cry, that's us feeling. We're on a spinning rock in space. So if we can feel for a moment. I love that. Online I go by Connection Queen, because I actually like connecting people. This is real life. Yeah, this is a connection. So that being said, you know, sobriety for me also kind of leads into my life as a speech therapist. I started to really focus more with my free time of not planning outfits and makeup and where you know, now I have to go to the grocery store and grab alcohol and then prep the drinks and YadA, YadA, YadA. Right now I get to actually like focus on things that matter the most to me, which is my health, my family, and I call them my families, the families that I work with. I'm a really big advocate because special needs is it's prevalent, it's here and everything. I was at Bravocan you were on stage with Britney cart right for the Valley one of the interviews, and that was a moment during my sobriety journey. I was celebrating a year like two weeks later that I was like, oh my gosh. In the past, I would like take a shot or something to ask the room. There was a lot of people in that room. Yea, I know, I talk to people every day, but it's a little different, you know, when you're in front of people. And that was when I was like, no, you're just going to take your deep breaths. You're gonna think about your question because you got this, and that was so empowering. I was like, yoh, new level unlocked. It's just like I don't know how to explain it other than like if you know, you know, if I know there's something like that where yeah, like in the past, I would have had to rely on this as a crutch. Now it's like, nope, I am the crutch. It's me baby. We got to do this.

00:10:20
Speaker 1: I'm just so happy for you.

00:10:22
Speaker 3: Thank you. No, it feels good.

00:10:24
Speaker 2: I wish I could show people, because you do start to think like, oh my gosh, if I give up drinking, am I going to know how to like connect with people, talk to people? Am I going to be interesting? And I sometimes when people have come to me to you know, trying to get sober, I'm like, you, drinking is not interesting, it's sad, it's there.

00:10:44
Speaker 3: How else to explain it other than this is just the behavior that you've adopted into your every day and until you really like take a second. But I do feel like we have to be the ones to do it. I've had so many different things happen in my life where people have brought it up to me, and I just have been so ignorant, naive, selfish, I don't know what to call it, genuinely, but I didn't see it.

00:11:05
Speaker 1: I weren't ready.

00:11:06
Speaker 3: I just wasn't ready. Yeah, it was not there, Like even if they held the picture in front of me, I'd be like, nope, it's blue, not green. So until I was in that place mensally where I was like, all right, actually I'm curious. Now I've done my twenties drinking, I want to know what it's like in my thirties to not drink. That was just an idea that I had. That's how it happened. And then I just said I want to keep I want to be thirty thirty, my thirtieth birthday no alcohol. And now it's just something that I'm going to keep doing. I enjoy it. I like the Miranda I'm becoming every year. I mean, it's just different. It's just different.

00:11:44
Speaker 2: I'm very very happy for you, and you know exactly where to find me if you ever need an uplifting you know, DM, I've got.

00:11:51
Speaker 3: You think you know. I appreciate that. And also like, this isn't the first transformation I've had. I used to be two hundred and fifty pounds. I had weight loss surgery almost like nine year years ago. Yeah, the first. Yeah, that was the first transformation that Miranda had. It took Miranda almost a decade to come to this new level. But that's why I'm like each year kind of throughout that journey, I learned so much about myself that's incredible. So it's just cool, Like I really do encourage people to change. Like, I know it could be scary and stuff, but it is. It's such a good feeling. There's no word. I don't have a word for it. It's just a feeling, you know.

00:12:27
Speaker 2: No. But I'm excited for people to see this video because I think you can just tell, like from what you're exuding right now, I get like, yeah, you get giddy and you're very You're just alive. And I am digging everything that you're saying. So I think you're a walking testimonial to what taking your life by the ovaries and you know saying this isn't working for me anymore. So I'm going to make a change. And you know what I always say, I reserve the right to change how I feel today tomorrow if I feel differently. If you are not here to tell me if that's right, wrong, or point it out to me, I'm well aware what once worked now doesn't and tomorrow could be different.

00:13:09
Speaker 3: I and didn't get that until I got sober from alcohol.

00:13:12
Speaker 2: I know.

00:13:12
Speaker 1: It's pretty incredible, right yes.

00:13:15
Speaker 3: And now, like that's the part of the empathy I'm talking about, because with that you're able to then empathize and go, oh well, maybe it didn't work for them today. But if we don't have that awareness, how could I even id at a thought like that?

00:13:27
Speaker 4: Right?

00:13:28
Speaker 2: No, you're you're a smart bitch, and thank you for all the work that you do helping families advocating for them.

00:13:34
Speaker 3: Yes, please, parents know you're right. Parents have so many rights for their kids, and school districts don't want you to know about it. So please, if any parents have any questions, please please let me know. I will do pro bono work and help families out because it's my life's mission to help families, especially as a speech language pathologist with speech cases. You know, IEPs are scary, So please, if we could use a little piece of this to just you know, help advocate about special needs, the IEP, the school districts, all of that, it would mean the world to me.

00:14:03
Speaker 1: What is your handle? Where can people find you?

00:14:06
Speaker 4: So?

00:14:06
Speaker 3: Yes, my handle is Connection Queen. I definitely talk about a lot of reality TV stuff. I am in the works right now of coming up with a new platform where I can actually like help just you know, streamline education and advocacy for special needs.

00:14:20
Speaker 1: For sure, you're an incredible person. We're very grateful.

00:14:23
Speaker 3: Thank you. No, I appreciate that, Lava so so much. Thank you, thanks for letting me come on and just ramble, and.

00:14:29
Speaker 1: You're always most welcome. You're a part of the pod.

00:14:32
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I love that. Thank you, No, seriously, though, I do appreciate it and what you've done and share your life. Not many people could do so as much as all of us yap online about it. It's like to be able to say to you, like, thanks for sharing, thanks for letting me talk my online. I appreciate it.

00:14:47
Speaker 1: You're so welcome, You're very very cool.

00:14:49
Speaker 3: Please end my sessions by the way with my students two thumbs up, round of applause and a heart. So I'm gonna do the same for you.

00:14:56
Speaker 1: I love it, baby, Thank you so much. We'll be in touch. I'm going to hit you up.

00:15:01
Speaker 5: Thanks.

00:15:01
Speaker 3: Yes, if any of your friends have questions, let me know with the.

00:15:04
Speaker 2: Kids, definitely bybe able Kristin, Hello, gorgeous, Like you are.

00:15:21
Speaker 6: So good at taking accountability for the things that you've done and the journey that you've been on. And I also think that it's a lot of people are casting judgment that haven't walked them out on your shoes. And I think it's really easy for people to be able to tell you what you should do when they haven't done any of.

00:15:40
Speaker 1: It, you know what. I feel like?

00:15:42
Speaker 2: That's kind of life though, right, Like every every situation is so nuanced, and there's so many ins and outs of life, and then you take into account how someone was raised, like their upbringing and things that they experienced as a child that they may have carried into adulthood, and it's just so complex. And I had like reading the hate comments, the beef comments, and seeing such an overwhelming amount of people who were asking to do this episode, like let us show you love, let us give you your flowers. It was such a moment of like I really put which I haven't.

00:16:27
Speaker 1: I haven't always done.

00:16:28
Speaker 2: This is the more recent in the last couple of years where I fixate on the hateful comments and I forget about all of the people who really have rocked hard with me and had constructive criticism, which I always welcome. And during season eleven, You're gonna die the amount of messages my mom got showing me love and then at the end saying, if you choose to share this, please don't mention my name.

00:16:55
Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, I am so alone.

00:17:01
Speaker 4: And that's unfair and it shouldn't be that way.

00:17:03
Speaker 6: And I'm so thankful as a viewer that you've been vulnerable and shared some really hard things, because some of the things that you've walked through aren't things that are talked about.

00:17:15
Speaker 4: And so for those people out there that.

00:17:17
Speaker 6: Are listening and that are watching you go through these things, not that it gives them a roadmap of what they should do, but it gives them the feeling of not being alone and not being isolated.

00:17:29
Speaker 4: And I'm just so.

00:17:30
Speaker 6: Grateful that you've shared your journey and the things that you've gone through. I know I wrote in a little about my story, but I think it helps like connect the dots a little bit.

00:17:39
Speaker 2: If you will, Can you share I know your message, but I also want our listeners to know your story.

00:17:47
Speaker 6: Yeah, so I guess it really starts in twenty thirteen. We have my family had a car accident. My two daughters and I were involved in that. My daughter, Aubrey was eight months old at the time, and she passed away pretty quickly. We got to the hospital and they told us there was essentially nothing that they could do. We just had to wait for God to take.

00:18:10
Speaker 4: Her from us.

00:18:11
Speaker 6: Essentially, our other daughter, Brooke, was four, and she was intubated on the scene.

00:18:18
Speaker 4: She was fighting for her life.

00:18:20
Speaker 6: The girls couldn't be in the same room because of their needs, so they were separated. And I didn't know the severity of Brooks injuries at the time. I sat in that hospital room beside my eight month old and I just remember praying for God to provide a miracle in that moment, and we were watching the monitors and her ICP number started to drop, and I really thought that was God answering our prayers. And I asked the nurse and she said, with tears in her eyes, she said, no, honey, unfortunately, her brain has gone down into her spinal column and that's why that number has gone down. And she just had sat with me and listened all night to my story, our life with our girls.

00:19:09
Speaker 4: I was still breastfeeding, we were co sleeping. So she in that moment, she.

00:19:14
Speaker 6: Walked out and she got a regular hospital bed and she wheeled it into that room and she got my daughter out of that crib and she laid her in my arms and I sang her her favorite song, You Are My Sunshine, and before I finished that song, she had passed away, and in the midst of all of that, my other daughter was still fighting for her life. And I prayed reverently that if God were going to take her, that he would take them so they could go into eternity together, and also selfishly so I didn't have to walk through that lost twice. But Brooke was a fighter, and she fought so hard, and so as she sat there in that room fighting, I knew I had to fight alongside of her. So the day after Aubrey passed away, found out that Brooke had a spattal cord injury at level C three C four, which essentially means that she's paralyzed from the neck down. She was unable to breathe on her own. She needed a ventilator to breathe for her. She was on two feeds for nutrition. She had to have a pacemaker place because her heart continued to stop when she was getting respiratory treatments. She had to have a cervical shunt place because she also had a severe brain injury in the accident like her sister did, and.

00:20:32
Speaker 4: That cervical shunt maintained the pressure around her brain.

00:20:36
Speaker 6: She rehabbed and did really well In the beginning, they told us that she was not going to progress beyond her four year old state, that she was going to need a passy mirror valve to speak over her trake and vent. They told us that she'd likely never eat again on her own. They didn't think that she was going to grow cognitively like I said. They didn't think she was going to remember her sister that had passed. They were wrong about every single thing they told us. Brooke was able to eat on her own before we left the hospital. She had full feeling from her neck down. Despite her level of injury. She was talking before we ever left the hospital. She learned how to drive her power wheelchair expertly with her head. She continued dance after we discharged from the hospital, and she even competed. She was the very first event patient at this ranch that's local to us, Wings of Eagles Ranch, and they put her on a horse and a rider sat behind her and strapped the vent to their back and rode her. She lived for a little over three years and she started getting pretty sick. We really didn't know what was going on. Brooke cervical shut had malfunctioned, so she needed to have surgery to replace that. She was terrified. I mean, she was seven years old and had faced undeniable odds and had beat every single one of them. She had a spirit like no other. I mean, our entire community rallied around her. She had more faith than any grown adult I've ever met. She was only seven. She taught me a lot about life. She did not want to have that surgery. She told us she was afraid to die. It was supposed to be an outpatient procedure. She had the procedure done. She came out of the surgery fine. She was awake and talking. We had had another baby in that timeframe, and I had to go home.

00:22:37
Speaker 4: To be with her because it was flu season.

00:22:38
Speaker 6: She wasn't allowed to be at the hospital on the floor, and I was still breastfeeding, so I went home to be with her. My husband's stayed at a hospital with Brook, and things just took a turn for the worst. Unfortunately, the cirvicle shunt was not working, and all the signs that would typically point to a shunt malfunction would be lowered heart rate, decrease in respirations, and a change in mental clarity. Brooke had a pacemaker, so her heart was never going to go below sixty beats per minute. She was unable to breathe on her own, so her respirations were never going to decrease beyond what the event would give her. And after surgery, she had complained of being in pain, and when I pulled her medical records, she had received more pain medication than she should have. There's a lot the more that went into that story, but ultimately Brooke did not make it and she was declared brain dead.

00:23:33
Speaker 4: The next day.

00:23:35
Speaker 6: Our family decided to donate Brook's organs because Brooke was the most giving person I know, and I have no doubt that had she been there standing beside me, she would have said, mom, if it can help somebody else live, I want to do it. If it can help another mommy or daddy not feel what you're feeling, then I want to be able to do that. And Brooke was able to save several children and adults lives with her organ donation, which was beautiful for us. And as you can imagine grief, you had your own journey with your loss of your father. Everyone responds very differently to grief, and everybody's journey is very personal. And I am not one to say how anybody should grieve.

00:24:18
Speaker 4: My husband and I responded very differently.

00:24:21
Speaker 6: I really leaned into therapy and going to church, and he tried therapy and it just wasn't for him. He felt like he failed his little girl because he promised he was going to bring her home and he didn't, and he didn't know how to deal with that. So his pain and grief turned to alcohol, where mine was I leaned in in a way to honor the girls in a positive way. He just struggled, and we faced a lot of criticism from the people that had supported us, that knew what was going on, just because of his walk and his path, and I'm not going to it was really scary at times. I contemplated divorce for quite a while. In North Carolina, the custody laws are very difficult to navigate. You have to be first of all, you have to be legally separated for a year before you can file for divorce, and they're very pro both parents having equal rights. I know several people that I've gone to court with proven sexual abuse, proven physical abuse, and still had to share custody with their former spouse. So while we were going through this really dark time, it was something I felt like I couldn't. I was being judged for not just walking away, but in my mind, walking away in that moment wasn't protecting my kids either, and that was really difficult for me to walk through and to have to deal with the judgment of other people that had no idea what we were going through, had no idea what he was going through. And while I'm not making excuses for him whatsoever, there's never a reason to go down that path and to stay there. I lost those two girls too, and I know how hard it's been for me, so it's hard for me to stand in judgment of that. And also during that time, to compound all of that, my mom was also an alcoholic and she was very abusive. My grandparents raised me from the point of twelve years until I graduated high school. My biological father was not in the picture. I later found out that he was in jail for murder, so I just.

00:26:33
Speaker 4: Did not have that family unit.

00:26:35
Speaker 6: My grandparents were amazing, they really were, but we don't live near them anymore. We're eight and a half hours away, So eight and a half hours away, isolated, really going through it and facing judgment from the people that I considered my community and that was really hard and it changed a lot in me. And I've seen you walk through a lot of that. I've seen you be vulnerable, I've seen you be real. I've seen you be honest with struggles you face and say, hey, I'm not perfect, but I'm waking up every day and trying my best and I'm trying to be a better version than I was yesterday. And I think you deserve credit for that because I know that pain and you're doing amazing. The fact that you have been able to stay sober and have fault, that fault seeing someone fight that I can't even imagine, just from the family member's perspective. I know how much pain that is to carry, so I can't imagine what it's like for you every single day.

00:27:30
Speaker 4: You know.

00:27:32
Speaker 2: Just listening to your story, I mean, I feel like, and I've said this before, I feel like, because I believe in God, that's my higher power. And I don't consider myself I consider myself to be spiritual, but I was raised with Christianity, and you know, me and God are really thick. And I think we come to this planet and it's within us that when our parents and die. We know how to handle that grief. You know, it's just the circle of life, you losing two children. Sorry, I find you to be very inspiring that you leaped into your faith.

00:28:23
Speaker 1: Even when I lost my dad. I did not do that. I turned to alcohol.

00:28:32
Speaker 2: And the fact that you have faced what you faced and sent me a message praising me. I'm very humbled by this conversation, and I really appreciate because I can't even imagine what you faced.

00:28:51
Speaker 6: It was unbearable. I don't know else to put in. You don't know until you've walked through, and you don't know what you can handle until you have to either. When Aubrey passed, I had no choice but to rally because I had this four year old little girl that was beautifully fighting for a chance at a meaningful life, and despite her limitations, I believe we gave that to her. But when we lost her, I kind of lost my purpose. Honestly, I'd gone to school to be a teacher. Everything about me was my kids. Like I mentioned, we had another daughter after the accident. She's now ten. We've since had a son. He's six and amazing, but all boy in trouble trouble trouble, and I decided to go back to school to become a nurse and actually work at the hospital that my daughter was treated and also passed away at.

00:29:55
Speaker 2: So wow, I'm just I mean, God, bless you and your family. I truly cannot imagine. And I am so just grateful that you reached out to me. When you hear stories like this, it really puts life into perspective. All of these things that we care about are just so meaningless when you think about the larger picture. I truly don't even know what to say to you, except I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you, But I also find you to be extremely inspiring and I'm just I'm going to pray for you guys.

00:30:36
Speaker 4: Thank you Ella.

00:30:38
Speaker 6: If I can just leave you with one thing my pastor shared with me in those early days, and I just I've seen it. I've seen it come full circle. I've seen it the truth in it, and I believe it and I know it's true for you too. God doesn't waste to hurt, even the really really big ones. Yep.

00:30:58
Speaker 2: Oh, You're an incredible Thank you so much for taking time to write me. Thank you so much for taking time to sit here with me and share your story. I'm sending you so much love and I feel very proud to have you a part of my pod like my orchipod, but also a part of this podcast.

00:31:18
Speaker 4: Thank you, I appreciate it.

00:31:20
Speaker 1: You're welcome, my love.

00:31:21
Speaker 4: Have a good day you too.

00:31:23
Speaker 1: Bye. Hey, George, Hi, how are you? I'm good?

00:31:38
Speaker 3: How are you?

00:31:39
Speaker 5: I'm great. It's so nice to meet you.

00:31:42
Speaker 1: It's so nice to meet you too.

00:31:43
Speaker 2: I'm so thrilled that you wrote in I heard that you won one of the lip giveaways like back in the day.

00:31:50
Speaker 5: Yeah, back in the day.

00:31:51
Speaker 7: What is that like twenty twenty it was one of the lip duos. Yeah, yeah, I got all of them. They're amazing, you know what.

00:31:59
Speaker 2: I'm so happy that you like them. Let me tell you, I I'm so proud of that brand, even though it's no longer the only once you I've learned now when you get into a business relationship, it's like a marriage, right, Absolutely, you better fuck hard with that person for real, for real.

00:32:18
Speaker 7: And it's so much dedicated time, like oh you can't. You can't give it any free time, no away from it.

00:32:27
Speaker 2: So I'm hoping that you know the reason it was dissolved was because we just weren't on the same page, me and my partners.

00:32:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so I'm like, all right, so.

00:32:35
Speaker 2: Let's just call it a day here, recreate, start from scratch, and I'm like, this is exhausting.

00:32:41
Speaker 5: Yeah.

00:32:42
Speaker 7: Well, it's funny you say that, because I also feel like that's what kind of brought me back to you in the podcast after your Haters episode that you recently did, was understanding the evolution of like friendships and how in a moment of time, I may not have agreed with something, but at the end of the day, you're still You're still a lala. You're like still my bitch, you know. And so it's one of those things where it's just like, Okay, this is the person that I connected with back when you first came on vander Pomp and then you and I actually are very similar. We have two kids and they're both very similar in age. So, like I think Ocean's like a February baby, right.

00:33:24
Speaker 1: She'll be she'll be five in March.

00:33:26
Speaker 7: Yeah, so my oldest just turned five in December, So like that's another connection point for us, is like we both had our kids during like that COVID period where totally isolating, and then my second baby is a May twenty twenty four, and I think Sosa is like September right, so very close in age, so like it's almost like that automatic connection, you know, like, right, you understand everything that I was going through. I understood what you were going through, And even though we've never met, just having that connection point is just like a really nice thing.

00:34:00
Speaker 2: Well, I think that that's what's so great about reality television is obviously you know, we're putting our lives out there and we get a lot of criticism, and the criticism I shouldn't even call it that hate because I'm open to criticism, like you have something productive to share with me, you know, I'm in it. So I'm always into like a thirty thousand foot perspective on my life, like how can we shift, how can we do better?

00:34:25
Speaker 1: The hate is so loud, but when you get into.

00:34:31
Speaker 2: The nitty gritty of it all, there's so many people who are watching that we connect with, right, And when I did the hater episode, which I thought was going to be wild, I was like, Oh, we're going to.

00:34:42
Speaker 1: Get so fucking many. I've seen the comment section.

00:34:44
Speaker 2: It was like crickets and I was like, where are you guys.

00:34:48
Speaker 5: Because it's easy to hide bind a keyboard.

00:34:50
Speaker 1: Are they yes exactly.

00:34:53
Speaker 2: I was like, we can go Toe's face to face and like, I'm actually not that scary, Like I'm not scary at all. I'm actually a pretty fucking cool Oh bitch.

00:35:01
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:35:01
Speaker 2: And then we aired the Hater episode and so many people were dming and sending so much love and it made me feel Obviously everybody loves love, but it made me want to do this because it's not just about me, Like I want to know who is sharing their lives in the reality TV space, who has helped you through a hard time, Because at the end of the day, we're filming our lives and it sounds cool and it's amazing, but it's very isolating.

00:35:30
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:35:31
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and to see such a small part of our lives. And you know, I was just talking about this, I have to separate my reality from my reality because I can share what I'm going through, but what I'm going through may not be that interesting to people watching, and I have no say over what's interesting.

00:35:49
Speaker 1: It can be chopped and screwed.

00:35:51
Speaker 2: And then you watch people and the comment section, they're like, oh, this person has no storyline.

00:35:57
Speaker 1: But then if my life goes to shit, I created.

00:35:59
Speaker 2: It for a storyline, So you can't win there either, you know, and it just becomes a lot.

00:36:05
Speaker 5: Yeah.

00:36:06
Speaker 1: So it's it is the things.

00:36:07
Speaker 2: Like motherhood, like you were saying, where it's like, okay, I understand this person.

00:36:13
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I think I think the other part of reality TV too.

00:36:16
Speaker 7: It gives you an outlet, right, it gives you the ability because I know that you watch like Ronnie is like your go to right, Like you just kick back and watch old episodes of Ronny and like that's your thing.

00:36:27
Speaker 5: It's an escape for you.

00:36:29
Speaker 7: So even though you are so close and in reality TV, it's an escape for you because you know, even though you live such an amazing life and you are are so privileged and blessed in your own life, the level of like being a housewife is like it's another level.

00:36:45
Speaker 1: Right, It's just fabulous decodance.

00:36:48
Speaker 7: And like dripping with diamonds, you know, And it's just such a an entertaining thing to watch, and you watch it to see and almost gain perspective of what are they dealing with because even though they are living fabulous, amazing lives, they too deal with struggles right right, How are they navigating it?

00:37:08
Speaker 5: How do they navigate conflict?

00:37:10
Speaker 7: And you know, as someone that's I kind of am very extroverted, I'm very out there. I also don't like conflict though, And so watching you or like a Bethany Frankel or Heather Gay go through conflict, you you get these little nuggets and you're able to like.

00:37:31
Speaker 5: Apply that to your actual life and to my work.

00:37:35
Speaker 7: And I don't know, it's just it's really it's really helpful in that way.

00:37:40
Speaker 2: I love that you have Just I always say people who watch reality TV, you have to appreciate the art of it. Yeah, very much so, and you fucking do. And Heather Gay, when I watch her, I'm like, oh, I wish that I could convey myself.

00:37:55
Speaker 1: She uses like these big words and like rounds out her points so well. I'm like, how do I do that? She's so good?

00:38:02
Speaker 7: But you do you do it in a way that is bold and out there, Like I think, I don't know if you feel this way, but you know your character arc if you will. Throughout your time on vander Pump and now transitioning to the Valley and your journey through sobriety, there's still this constant of bold lalla right, and sure there's ups and downs in your relationships.

00:38:28
Speaker 5: But at the core, you are still who you have always been.

00:38:31
Speaker 7: You're not afraid to go toes with someone, You're not afraid to challenge the status quo and call out some bullshit like it doesn't matter. You have just been very consistent throughout your existence on reality TV.

00:38:49
Speaker 5: And sure friendships come and go, but that's.

00:38:51
Speaker 7: Life, right Like who I am today doesn't mean I'm saying I'm friends with the same people. We're moms now. I have lots of friends that are not moms and are not married. They don't get it. We're just not in the same period of life at this point. So it's just it's changed. But at the same time, I'm still Jasmine, like I'm still myself.

00:39:12
Speaker 1: Talking to you is very refreshing.

00:39:14
Speaker 2: I just want to say that, yes, you just talking has brought me a lot of peace right now, so I want to thank you for that. I think you get it the nuances of life and you watching. I appreciate that there are people like you who are watching. That gives me hope going into the Valley, which they have now announced that I'll be a full time cast member on I think people are excited, but I think that the hate is loud, and there are people who are not excited always. And I'm nervous. I have never been nervous about how people will view me, and after my last season on vander Pump Rules, I'm really fucking nervous.

00:39:58
Speaker 7: I get that, and I think it's it's very and self aware of you to be nervous, right. I would be worried if you weren't nervous, right, just because that hate is so loud. But I think the beautiful thing about shows like vander Pump and The Valley and Summer House and things like that, you guys are like legit friends like that is your friend group. And so even though the haters may be loud, you can rely on your friend group and you're going through the same.

00:40:27
Speaker 5: Experience at the same time.

00:40:28
Speaker 7: And even though some things may be divisive and some people might look at your last season of vander Pump Rules as like she just took like a sledgehammer to every single relationship she had, I think it was a moment of growth for you, right, It was a moment of I need to reevaluate where I am and grow from there.

00:40:49
Speaker 5: And you did that right.

00:40:51
Speaker 7: I mean, you recognize that you were just in a very dark place with he who shall not be named, and you decide. I think it is so bold and amazing that you have decided to go forward with having Sosa by yourself.

00:41:06
Speaker 5: I mean, what a badass, bitch move.

00:41:08
Speaker 1: Thank you.

00:41:09
Speaker 5: I have a husband and I'm over here struggling with two kids.

00:41:12
Speaker 7: Okay, like it' hmm it is not okay over here, like especially with two boys.

00:41:18
Speaker 5: Let me tell.

00:41:19
Speaker 1: You, Yeah, they rock your world. Man, I can only imagine it is.

00:41:22
Speaker 5: Not for the week.

00:41:23
Speaker 7: Although listening to your stories about Ocean, she gives you a run for your money.

00:41:28
Speaker 1: Yeah she does.

00:41:29
Speaker 5: It's a trip. But I think at the end of the day, you going into the valley.

00:41:34
Speaker 7: I'm excited to see you back on my screen consistency, consistently. I think it is just going to be. It's gonna be like old Farander prompt days.

00:41:42
Speaker 5: I hate to say it.

00:41:43
Speaker 1: But like I love that.

00:41:45
Speaker 7: That's the hope that I mean, that is what it's going to be. Like you you have your your friend group. It's not manufactured, it's not fake. It's those are your friends. Those are your girls like you got Shortzy in there.

00:41:59
Speaker 5: I know it's going to be great.

00:42:01
Speaker 7: I think you just need to remember how much love is behind you from like people out here that are not in reality TV.

00:42:09
Speaker 5: There is our love should outweigh the haters.

00:42:13
Speaker 2: Jasmine, I fuck with you so hard. I am so appreciative that you wrote in I'm so happy that you're on my screen.

00:42:20
Speaker 1: You are a bad bitch.

00:42:21
Speaker 2: You have made me feel amazing. Everybody loves some love, and I hope you know how much.

00:42:28
Speaker 5: It means to me, absolutely, and I am so grateful for the opportunity, so thank you.

00:42:33
Speaker 2: Of course, give your boys some love. I will, and I hope you enjoy season three of The Valley.

00:42:40
Speaker 5: I can't wait. I can't wait to see it.

00:42:42
Speaker 1: I love it. Write in comment tell me what you think.

00:42:45
Speaker 5: I will and maybe we'll do this again. Sometimes happy to be in LA and meet you, and.

00:42:49
Speaker 1: I would love that you know where to find me.

00:42:51
Speaker 2: Girl.

00:42:52
Speaker 1: You slide on my DMS and we'll talk. I will all right, love you, lave all right, love you babe. Bye Hye.

00:42:58
Speaker 2: Wow you guys, I am feeling all of the fields. I am feeling all of the fields. So as you guys know, I did the hater episode and we had wonderful people write in. They were constructive, they were amazing, they were down to go toes. And then we got we got a lot of people writing and asking to do an episode to kind of show me some love. And I know that you guys have watched me for many years on television. I think you see a different side of me when we do the podcast. This is like my safe space with my pod. I felt really weird about it. I'm like, I don't know if I want to do an episode where it's just like tooting my horn and giving me love. So the reasoning for this is I want people to be able to give flowers where they are due. We have so many shows that are reality based where everyone is putting their lives out there and living their authentic lives, the good, the bad, the ugly. We see them in peace, we see them in disarray. We watched their homes go from happy to oh my god, we're getting divorced, and my life looks different like we're with them watching. And I find it very important because the comment section can be hateful and judgmental and loud and unfucking productive, but to see the amount of love I had in the DMS. I want you guys, or wanted you guys to also share and make this podcast more about people who are putting their lives out there on TV, who you relate to, and.

00:44:44
Speaker 1: We don't get our flowers very often.

00:44:46
Speaker 2: I want people who are on reality TV to get their flowers because sometimes those messages go unnoticed.

00:44:55
Speaker 1: So I wanted this to be the platform to do that.

00:44:58
Speaker 2: As much as I love y'all too, I kind of wanted to everybody's horn.

00:45:02
Speaker 1: Who's like, really in a.

00:45:05
Speaker 2: Fun position of filming a reality show but getting fucked up by that comment section. Man, we know who we are until we read the comment section. Then we look at the mirror and go, oh shit. I thought I was like a pretty bad bitch. I handled shit like a champ, but y'all have made me think otherwise. I hope you enjoyed this episode just as much as you enjoyed the beef episode. I'm gonna catch you guys on Monday and again on Wednesday for the regular episode.

00:45:31
Speaker 3: Bye