Audrina Patridge of The Hills

00:00:06
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, it is a Lala mother. Ethan Kent't We're back baby. I got Audrina Patridge on the podcast today. You guys gave me all the feedback in the world last episode, because Justin and I were like, what do I want to see it on the podcast? Like what do you want to listen to? And my little give them give them Lala squad. They came through. They did.

00:00:30
Speaker 2: You guys did come through.

00:00:31
Speaker 3: We got so much feedback and I'm so excited to sit down with Lalla and go through it all and maybe we'll do it on the podcast even I don't know.

00:00:39
Speaker 1: I would love to, like after this episode, next week's episode, let's go through like all all of them. Yeah, like let's talk about it. Yeah.

00:00:52
Speaker 3: So you guys even have another let's say five days to be safe. If you didn't give feedback, you might as well, because we're going to go through as much of it as we can right on next Yeah. And so what I've been seeing the most is DM just DM give them La La podcast, and that's how we're.

00:01:12
Speaker 1: Going to go through it. Well. The whole point of like the rebrand of the podcast was like I want my listeners to be heard like it's a platform where you know, let's be open and honest and like create this little community of you know, people who are going through the ups and downs of life. And I think that, you know, my my guests also have to reflect that. Does that make sense? Yeah, of course, of course, you know we we I originally came into this podcast from the jump of like, what's the format. There is no format, right, it's going to be bumping gums and like have great guests on. But you know, I want I want to know what my listeners digm. You know, it's the whole reason, Like I said in the episode with my brother, without my listeners, without my friends, my people, I'm just freaking talking to myself in a microphone, wasting a whole lot of time. Like it's got to be productive. I like things that are not productive in my life they gotta go. Yeah, I'm listening to Chris Medina in the sense where he's like, you gotta burn bridges in your life. Yeah, whatever that means. And now if it's like it's not productive, it's not serving me. You're bringing out aside of me that I don't like. Granted, my mom always says, like you're in charge of your own emotions. People can't make you feel a certain way, but you can allow them to make you feel a certain way. It's like, you know what, No, you're making me feel this way and I don't need it right, So give me the gasoline and a match, because I'm torching the bridge right.

00:02:49
Speaker 3: People always tell told me you are who you hang around, and I agree with that fifty percent, and I disagree. But I did notice when I would hang around on friends who were always complaining, always talking shit, always bitching, I felt myself starting to do that and get in a very very negative space. And then my friends who were like positive and whatever, on the up and up and always like going after what they wanted and their goals, I felt myself being more that way. So I don't know if I agree with it necessarily because my childhood best friend she's like my ride or die and we're completely different. But still I'm like, we're different, but I'm like, so I don't agree with.

00:03:29
Speaker 2: It in that sense.

00:03:30
Speaker 3: I'm not like her, she's not like me, but we're still best friend totally. Yeah, But I do think in some certain circumstances it happens, like do you hang out with people that bring you down and or are negative, and then you feel like you get negative or no, You're like I can be around that person and I'm myself.

00:03:50
Speaker 1: No. There are definitely people I've been around where I leave and I go home and I'm like, I feel so heavy, Where's my giant bundle of sage? Right? Yeah? But as I've gotten older, I have pulled away from people who make me feel that way. But like yesterday, yesterday was a throwaway day for me, Okay, tell tell me about thatll. I just like I woke up and you know, my mom was in Newport and I had to film later, so I had like a full day and you know, you had things that I needed to get done, and I was like, today, it's just it ain't hidden.

00:04:28
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:04:29
Speaker 1: I literally hot boxed my bathroom with sage, right, you know, but I opened the door and looked back into the bathroom and it was just smoke. Because I have this huge someone I think it was like, uh, someone sent me. Oh, I know exactly what it was. At the book signing, someone gave me tober, someone gave me a huge bundle of stage. I mean, I can't even imagine what it cost them. It was so sweet, but I burned that. Okay, I manifested, I prayed, I you know, did my whole thing with God in the universe that I so often do when I'm feeling like, Okay, we're going down the fucking rabbit soul. We rather to pull ourselves together. And after I did that whole thing, you know, I lit my stage and I'm like, you know, saying my little prayer, manifesting whatever. And then I listened to Break my Soul by Beyonce on repeat and was just like holding my stage. Yes, motherfucker, No one is breaking me. Yes, hell no. Because I so often preach like, if our minds are strong enough to take us to a dark place, they're certainly strong enough to get us out of that place. Now, however, I am by no means saying that people shouldn't be on medication if they're suffering from depression or anxiety, Like science is incredible and you should go to a doctor. And I believe in therapists and all of these things. So I'm certainly not saying like I have to do is talk yourself out of it.

00:06:03
Speaker 2: Right.

00:06:03
Speaker 1: That is not, let me repeat, that is not what I am saying, Right, but in those moments where you're going there, I think we should empower ourselves to say we're not going here. I won't allow it. So I'm taking a moment to myself and I'm gonna do what I need to do to connect with something or someone greater than me. And I'm gonna put on Beyonce and I'm fucking taking on the rest of the day. Right.

00:06:32
Speaker 3: I don't know what you meant by throwaway day, but I think those days.

00:06:36
Speaker 1: Are very important.

00:06:37
Speaker 3: Like that's why I can on a Sunday tell Kyle, like, literally, I'm waking up and I'm bingch watching TV until five PM.

00:06:45
Speaker 1: I'll take a break and take Margo on a few walks. But like, to me, that is just my.

00:06:50
Speaker 3: Version of mental health sometimes, and like those days are just as important as the days I wake up at like four thirty am and I'm like, I'm gonna go to the gym and then I'm gonna get right and then I'm gonna go to work and then.

00:07:01
Speaker 1: I like those are just as important. So yeah, I think that in the world, like in our society in America, where we're like it's so instilled in us that hustle harder wake up, work until the sun goes down, and then all you can sleep when you're dead. Make that money, and it becomes like you go to other places and they have like two hour lunch breaks and then it's time for nap, like they really just enjoy life. And take take that as like I'm not productive in what I need to get done if I'm not feeling centered and well rested, Like America is a different type of grind. And it's like I can have a day that's a Saturday and feel no guilt, you know, just kicking it. But if you're taking me on a freaking you know, Tuesday, and I'm like, it's a throwayday, then then I struggle with the guilt of like you should be hustling. I should be making money. You should you know. And it's just because that's the world.

00:08:04
Speaker 3: That we have been brought up in, I know, and it's all over social media if you're and I don't think there's anything. I think there's few things that are more damaging than the quote unquote no days off mindset. And if that means like of work, working out, literally anything, I think that's could be one of the most damaging things mindsets when like no rest, no days off. I think that's very damaging. First so too, so I'm glad you took.

00:08:34
Speaker 1: But even on social media, yeah, people are you know posting it's like, oh today you're resting today by the pool. Well, I'm resting harder in the Amalfi Coast on a yacht and right what now the fuck? I can't even rest without feeling, you know, you're really like someone's resting harder than me.

00:08:54
Speaker 3: It's literally the summer of everyone in Europe, and I'm like, what do you do for a living, because I'm like from college.

00:09:01
Speaker 1: How are you spending your summers in Italy? What's going on? You know? I was talking to Katie the other day and you know, because season four it was like I'm going to Italy on a modeling trip. Yeah, and I'm five six, you know, you know, and I had like it seemed like I was one of those girls who was always on like amazing vacations. But truth be told, I have never been on like a really extravagant vacation that I didn't pay for. Like with my ex. Of course, we we went on really beautiful trips, but it wasn't like the Instagram like quote unquote models that you see now, like the influencers. Yes, And I was talking to Katie and I was like, you know, I said that I was. I was just a fun bitch to be around, and that's why they were inviting me. But I'm sure if I would have gone, maybe they would have expected me to bust it wide open or like, I don't know, you know, I was. I still am. I'm like very I mean, I'm aware, but like I'm naive when comes to like what people expect from me, right, or like I don't know when people are on drugs. I mean I do now, yes, but like I just didn't surround myself with people like that. Yeah, So when someone was like, want to go to Italy, I was just like fun.

00:10:18
Speaker 3: We had a friend once who would always tell us whenever we got in those situations. She would go, no, this is a college friend. No grown man wants to be your friend, Like, because we had I had friends who would be like, but he's just so nice and he wants to take me to wherever. And she would always be like, no grown man wants to be your friend. Just remind yourself of that.

00:10:38
Speaker 1: And I'm like, that's a good point. I mean yes, I mean that might not be true, but it's a few and far between that you're going to find the older rich man who's like, you know what, I enjoy your company, Yeah, come and hang out. Yeah you're like, no, no, no, And if you find that person, good on yet, you know, good for you? Right? Yeah?

00:10:58
Speaker 3: Did you ever go to that Italy trip that you're talking about on season four?

00:11:01
Speaker 2: When?

00:11:02
Speaker 1: No, you didn't, No, because I was slutshamed. It was felt so bad that I was like, I'm going home to Utah instead.

00:11:09
Speaker 3: I mean, my mom, No, So you didn't after all of that, you didn't even go after all that skank shaman.

00:11:16
Speaker 1: Oh no, I went back to the beehiveste Damn damn no. But yeah, that was wait the row back memory. I know that was a little, a little tangent, but spoiler alert, some people love those.

00:11:32
Speaker 3: A lot of people love those. When you go on tangents, spoiler alert for next week.

00:11:38
Speaker 1: They want more Lalla. We well the podcast is give them Lala.

00:11:43
Speaker 3: I know, you know, yes, they want all Lalla that people love Lalla and again haven't been through them. All excited to go through them, all the messages, but yeah, it's very much people. I think what I've seen being like, we love it when you talk about ocean and all all this stuff.

00:12:00
Speaker 1: But can I tell you, Jess, it's still even though I've been doing what I've been doing for a while, it's still perplexing to me that people give a shit about me. Like I constantly am like why, And you know, on tour or with the podcast, I was, I'm always obsessing over who's my guest? Who's my guest? Yes? And I forget like my people are coming to support me, like they don't care about I know the guest is, I tends maybe they do. I don't know. I'm sure, I'm sure the guest is like the cherry on top, But I do still feel like this, like bitch from Utah, like why do people give a damn about me?

00:12:40
Speaker 3: I hear you, But you were exactly right when you said the guest is the cherry on top. I think a majority of the time, but like you have to remember you're the ice.

00:12:47
Speaker 1: Cream and the whip cream. Oh, I love it all of the guests. Is that the right word metaphor? I don't know. I should know well because in an interview I kept using the word analogy and I think it wasn't analogy, it was a metaphor. What were you saying analogy about? I was talking about my life as a puzzle, and then I considered myself butter and my beef with Schwartz with a microwave. I don't fucking know what. It made zero sense, but I just rolled with it. And I was like, I kept saying strange analogy, and then I'm like, I don't think that that's the right word. I'm literally I think a metaphor is when you take something that's happening, yeah, and use like a puzzle. Yes, metaphor, I think that's it. To an analogy, I think is me taking something I'm going through and then being like, Jess, it would be like you doing this. I think so too.

00:13:43
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:13:43
Speaker 1: So I completely used the word. Well now you're using it. They ran us weekly and I read it and I was like, I have to stop reading. I sound like such an idiot. It's confusing.

00:13:53
Speaker 3: I didn't go to college, and I did, and I still don't know.

00:13:58
Speaker 1: So there were so many times in school where like I knew I was a bad tester. Yeah, and so I'd roll up on my teacher and I'd be like, here's the deal. I was a fucking hustler since day one. I'm like, can I instead write an eight page paper on why I'm bad at test taking? Would they let you? Yes?

00:14:15
Speaker 2: Stop?

00:14:16
Speaker 1: Yes, there were a couple teachers that did let me. Yeah, are you kidding me? I also wrote a paper on why it was so hard for me to understand how to learn a ruler. You cannot grasp the ruler. See right now, I'm like, it's got to be either.

00:14:38
Speaker 3: To the inch or a half, like no, you know that makes sense, like the and three eighths like having to be so.

00:14:46
Speaker 1: So then can you tell time on a is it called an analog clock?

00:14:49
Speaker 2: Can you tell?

00:14:50
Speaker 1: You can? I can totally. Sometimes it's in between the time thing. Yeah, but that's easy because it's the fives and then in between they say the ones.

00:14:59
Speaker 3: Do you know how many I saw TikTok about them going up to gen Z people or even like people in their twenties and saying showing them a clock, like ninety percent were like I have no idea what that means.

00:15:11
Speaker 1: And cursive is a lost art. Okay, anyway, I'm so good at cursive. By the way, you because we had to we had to. I also had to learn what was the penmanship called calligraphy, calligraphy. I had to learn how to do calligraphy in school. They were like, okay, my, have your moms take you to fred Meyer. That was like the local little grocery store that had, you know, this arts and crafts. Obviously we're from Utah, always in arts and craft section no matter where you go. And we had to get like calligraphy pens.

00:15:44
Speaker 3: Do you know people pay like good money for those classes. Now, like I was gonna pay for I didn't learn calligraphy.

00:15:49
Speaker 1: What if you rolled up day one of your interview and I'd be like, you have to write everything in calligraphy, No phones, no Google calendar, caligraphy only.

00:15:59
Speaker 3: I would think that it was so funny, And Hilaria said, I would take that so seriously.

00:16:03
Speaker 1: I'd be like, yes, you also have to wear my face on all your clothing. You have a uniform. You would have thought I was insane. I would have laughed, I'm wearing my face enough for the both of us exactly. Don't even worry about it. All right, So there's our tangent. There's the intro. I'm excited to have Audrena on, So stick with me, my little sexy muffins, because when we come back, we have like an og of reality TV. You're welcome, We'll be right back. We are back, and I am so excited about this guest. You guys know her obviously. Her name is Audrina Patridge. Hello, my love.

00:16:40
Speaker 2: Hello, I'm so happy to be on your podcast.

00:16:43
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have you on my podcast. You're like the og of reality television.

00:16:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I feel like before I even started reality I didn't really know what to compare it to, aside from like the Jessica Simpson and Nicholaschey Show, But that, right, I think that was it at the time.

00:17:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, the I mean the reality TV world. You know, I just remember like growing up and having the real.

00:17:09
Speaker 2: World, real world, that's right.

00:17:12
Speaker 1: But your show was like where you don't all live in one house together, and it was just, I'm sure very strange for you to have cameras on you following your every move at the age of what you were nineteen.

00:17:25
Speaker 2: Almost nineteen when I started.

00:17:28
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

00:17:30
Speaker 2: Like barely nineteen, and we filmed a full year before the producers kind of decided. I guess like how we all fit in with each other and what they wanted to show because we were all kind of getting used to the cameras. I know, Lauren and Heidi had experience, but Whitney and I did not, So we were trying to figure out how we all fit.

00:17:53
Speaker 1: In right, how to like what your place is, what your role is. It's so funny because I was having a conversation with some one. Oh it was Jeff Lewis yesterday. He was on a reality TV show. There's so many people who have such strong personalities and the second you throw them into like a reality TV space, they freeze up.

00:18:13
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:18:14
Speaker 1: Did you find that happen to you?

00:18:17
Speaker 2: I think I did in the beginning, because I was going on auditions for modeling and doing little acting things and got gigs here and there for music videos and commercials and stuff. But the whole reality side of it, like there's three cameras around you, you have all these people staring at you while you're trying to go on a date, and you're like, going on a date for the first time is bad enough, and then you add all all these other layers. It was tough. You freeze up.

00:18:46
Speaker 1: That part scares me because I have yet to like do a date on camera, like a new date, you know, because cameras always want to capture the first date because it's awkward, and then you add the cameras.

00:18:59
Speaker 2: It's it is, it's really awkward. But I feel like we at this point, you know, were kind of seasoned, right, and I feel like all these new guys I remember, they would totally freeze up, and it's like you can't really get to know someone with all these cameras. But then you get the the alcohol flowing, and sometimes that loosens them up or takes the edge off. But really it's just it's it's a whole different world. People have no idea until they're thrown in front of a camera.

00:19:27
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, and you can't explain it to people. I can watch reality TV as a viewer, but also because I've been a part of it. At the end of the day, like you know, moments that I've had where I'm mortified, I have to step into that viewer perspective and go, but you made great TV.

00:19:46
Speaker 2: Well that's the thing too, even with the last season of The Hills that we just did, I respect the entertainment value side of things. So whenever you need to kind of improvs a scene to make it more dramatic or more interesting because it's too boring. You step it up and you kind of have to. And that's why sometimes the producers would step in and they're like Adrina, like you're out of three. Take it to a ten, I need tears, or I need this, or go in there and say this and stir the pot. It's like, okay, let's.

00:20:20
Speaker 1: Do it right. Because even though it is a reality like it is real life, yeah, it is a produced show because it's for entertainment, so you definitely do have those moments of a producer stepping in and being like what are we doing?

00:20:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, like this is boring. No one's gonna want to watch this. You guys step it up.

00:20:40
Speaker 1: So I'm intrigued by you because you know reality TV obviously now a lot of people say that it's like oversaturated, like everyone and their dog can get a show based on their life. Do I agree with that? Absolutely? Not yea. And not every reality show is iconic. You are from an iconic reality television show and you have managed to make yourself a household name. Is that strange for you?

00:21:09
Speaker 2: You know? I feel like it was in the beginning because it was so surreal, and I had these girls coming up to me giving me hugs and crying and shaking and I'm just staring at me and I was like, I'm a human, Like, hi, normal too, It's just because I'm on TV. But then I would also have older women that would watch it and come up and give me advice like I was their granddaughter or their niece or something about Justin and I'm like, all right, first off, you don't know everything, but thank you. I appreciate your advice. You know, it was so crazy, it's so weird.

00:21:45
Speaker 1: It is crazy. And then but you almost have to be grateful for those people because they're the loyal fans who are watching every single episode every time you come out with a product or like you you have your book coming out, by the way, congratulations, thank you. That is not easy. Did you enjoy the writing process.

00:22:04
Speaker 2: Well, it was probably a year and a half. It was. It was hard. There was days where you know, I would get on the phone with the ghost Rider Jen. He was amazing. She's almost like a therapist, and I would break down crying. I'm like, I don't think I could go. I blocked so much of my life out and I just want to move forward. Like I never thought i'd have to go back and dig and like bring those emotions back to the purpose. So that for me was very therapeutic. It was healing in a way because now I can read it and I'm okay to talk about it. I'm beyond that point now where it's like I'm finally in a good place.

00:22:40
Speaker 1: How did you come up with the title of your book? Because me, I was sitting there racking my brain and then it was just give them alack like everything else.

00:22:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know I need to read your book too. I did not have a name. I just kind of started basically my book. I really wanted to emphasize everybody has the power to choose. When you wake up, you have a choice whether you want to have a good day a bad day. The decisions you make in your life lead to certain consequences that you know you just have to deal with that time. So a big part of the book and what I wanted to make a point of was the power to choose. So because I kept talking about that so much and the choices I made in my life that led me to all these different paths and you know the choices I could have made, but I took this direction instead. It all we were all talking about it, and it's like they said, Adrina, you're talking about your choices so much and where you've gone in your life, and we were like, well, choices and then to the hills and back again.

00:23:39
Speaker 1: It's an amazing title.

00:23:41
Speaker 2: Thank you.

00:23:42
Speaker 1: I know that you have had rough patches in your life, one of which was obviously your marriage, because I'm kind of in that zone too, and I start thinking about my choices and then I look at my daughter, which you have a daughter, and I'm like, this is why I made every Like the universe had me make all of these choices to lead me to this person, right hereat Do you believe that?

00:24:07
Speaker 2: I completely believe that, because if I didn't meet my ex husband and go through what I did, I went through a lot off and on for a long time, but it was all for my daughter because she was meant to be here and I love her so much. I'm sure you get it too. It's like, of course, it's like a whole new love that you never knew that you could love someone so much. And at the end of the day, it's like, yeah, it was all worth it because I have her and now we're good and she's happy, and I made the right decision leaving, and I'm happy with my choices.

00:24:43
Speaker 1: We're back to choices and how old? How old is your daughter? And what's her name?

00:24:49
Speaker 2: Her name's Kira. She'll be six in June.

00:24:52
Speaker 1: That is such a fun age.

00:24:54
Speaker 2: Yes, I love it. Every year it gets so much more fun and they become their own little people and their personality and all the different characteristics they have, and just like their outlook on life. You know, the other day, she asked me a lot of questions about food. So, you know, if we're making a ham sandwich, she's like, well, what meat is that from a hamster? And I'm like, no, we're not eating hamster. It's from a pig. And she's like, why isn't it called a pig sandwich? You know, like all these little thoughts.

00:25:29
Speaker 1: And they're very valid too, Yeah, questions we should all be asking. How did you go through? So I remember going through doing my book and they were like, send the chapters and the breakdown of each one, and I'm like, oh my god, how do I do that? When you went through how many chapters? You were going to put in and which one, like what stories each chapter would consist of. Was there a lot of stuff that you were like, this isn't going to make the cut, Like this may be important to me, but it may not write with a reader.

00:26:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, we went through so many things, and we took so much out and added different things and took chapters out. Especially after doing audio and reading it out loud, it changes everything. So we even had to change some things around and there because it just didn't sound right reading it out loud, right, so crazy?

00:26:21
Speaker 1: Did you do that too? Yes? In fact, so you mentioned your ghostwriter and I said this on tour. I spoke about a ghostwriter, and the tour manager was like, they were not understanding what that meant. So I just want to put this out there for our listeners. Audrena has a book. I have a book. Many people have a book. The reason for the ghostwriter is Audrena wrote her book. I wrote mine, But we are not writers. I don't know how to format a book for the life of me. Okay, So that's where the ghostwriter steps in. They format your book, they make it a book, which you and I, obviously I don't do for a living.

00:27:01
Speaker 2: Oh, I did not go to school to learn that.

00:27:03
Speaker 1: Right, So we it's all of what we wrote, and then they formatted it. So there's like the writing for dummies, which I took the crash course.

00:27:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, the chapters like you were saying, But there was a lot of stuff too where I didn't necessarily want to indulge about, like I don't.

00:27:20
Speaker 1: Want to write.

00:27:20
Speaker 2: I was like, I'd rather be more vague about this. I don't want to go there. And she's like Audrina because they do their research and they're like, this is what's out there. Because for a lot of the times in the past and the media, I bit my tongue all the time. I never really stuck up for myself or cleared my name or said the truth. I was like, whatever, Like the people that matter know the truth. If they want to think that, I don't care, you know. I think it was also from being on reality TV so long, you just start not caring because nobody's really ever gonna know the truth, or if they do, they might not believe you. But in this sense, this was my op opportunity to clear the air on what's been out there and the truth.

00:28:04
Speaker 1: That's so interesting that during the writing process. You were like, I don't want to dive into this, and someone had to tell you, like, this is your moment, because I actually had the opposite feeling. I was, this is my one chance to really Now, looking back, a lot of the shit that I wrote about I probably would not have written about. But I think I may be overshared.

00:28:26
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean then, I'm sure your fans loved that. You know, they probably ate that up and wanted more.

00:28:34
Speaker 1: I think they do, just like I think when your book comes out, which is the end of July, people are finally going to get an unedited version of you. Yes, and that's what people crave. Yeah, And I.

00:28:49
Speaker 2: Was so I was like, Okay, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to be open. I'm going to be vulnerable. Here's my perspective. I'm not writing this book to put anyone down. It's not about talking about other people and what they went through, what I thought of them. This is about me and the choices I made and why and where it led me, and especially with my marriage and what happened. There was a lot of gossip and rumors and you know, TMZ would get all the information from the court before I even knew what was happening, and it was spread all over. So on top of that, I'm sure, like you get it. Like it's already hard enough going through what you're going through, and to add on top of that, like everybody's judgment and the media and the blogs and the press and just like putting their two cents and when they they only know like a fourth of what really.

00:29:41
Speaker 1: Went on, absolutely and they pick up the one thing that is the smallest part of everything but makes the most incredible headline, and that is so frustrating.

00:29:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, So with this book, it's nice to be able to clear that up and set the records straight.

00:30:03
Speaker 1: I get a lot of questions about are you worried about what your daughter will read? Do you worry about that?

00:30:11
Speaker 2: That was something that was It's always on my mind now and even with the Hills, you know, I was gosh, eighteen nineteen, all in my twenties, I had no responsibilities. I didn't care. We went out every night. The last thing you think of when you're twenty twenty one, twenty two is what my kids are going to think of me one day? Or where is this show.

00:30:31
Speaker 1: Going to lead? You know?

00:30:33
Speaker 2: Right? But yeah, writing the book, I did have Kira in mind, and the thing is all she asked to do when she's older is google my name, and she's going to see a lot of random stuff that's not true. She's going to see some stuff that is true. It's no secret that I was in a toxic relationship, and it's all out there, so it's not a secret. But at the same time, and I'm very honest with her when she asked me questions and only giving her enough information for her age and what she can handle. At the end of my book, I did write her a letter and a lot of it is about her and like being a strong woman and being okay to walk away from a toxic situation and not forcing yourself to stay in it because you're a people pleaser or you want to try to make things work, just because it's like you have to do it's best for your child and for yourself too.

00:31:27
Speaker 1: So, Kira, you said that they they develop their little personalities, right yeah, But I think they come exactly how like they are who they are the second they pop out of your cookie or however they come to the planet, right yes, Ocean, I'm like, I will do my best to teach her things. But that little girl will look me dead in my eyes when I tell her not to do something, and the look is like, go fuck yourself.

00:31:56
Speaker 2: I mean, they definitely come out with a personality. It's just as they learn more words and know how to express their feelings and their thoughts, that's what it like. Things come out of their mouth and you're like, what did.

00:32:08
Speaker 1: You just say? Right?

00:32:09
Speaker 2: You say that?

00:32:10
Speaker 1: It really is. I said this over and over again when I was in Utah because I was just like in it being a mom. I wasn't working because I was visiting family, and I was like, I just love being a mom. Yeah, like it's just the best I know.

00:32:25
Speaker 2: Do you want another?

00:32:26
Speaker 1: Yes? I want another. I don't know how that baby, the next baby will get here, but that's the plan.

00:32:34
Speaker 2: I'm in the same boat. So we'll see. I do want another one or two, but we'll see. You got to meet the right guys, you know.

00:32:41
Speaker 1: Or like, I don't need a guy at all, Send me to the nearest sperm bank.

00:32:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, just get get a book and you get to like choose, yes, who you want to have that baby with.

00:32:52
Speaker 1: I guess shopping for a baby daddy. That sounds awesome. And then I don't have to deal with them after even better, what is your dating life right now?

00:33:01
Speaker 2: Honestly, when I was on the show, I went on that date with Sean Stewart, which was for the show, that was only with cameras. But I haven't went on like a real date in a long time, probably three years, since twenty nineteen.

00:33:16
Speaker 1: And what's the reasoning for that? Are you not ready?

00:33:19
Speaker 2: I wasn't ready. I've went through so much healing and with Kira and just going through so much personally that it wasn't in a headspace to give myself or my mind or attention to someone else. It wouldn't be fair for someone. But I mean I have went out and I have flirted and met guys, but like I haven't actually went on like a proper date or been in a relationship. Okay, but now I'm ready, Like I'm finally at a good, peaceful place right now where I'm finally open to it and I'm ready.

00:33:56
Speaker 1: I think you're very smart. I'm in that zone, and I'm obviously very fresh into this like new single mom life, and I'm very passionate about the topic of single mothers. So you're doing a great job let me just tell you that. But I feel the same way. And I said, I don't have anything to give someone right now, and everyone I said this on tour and everyone was like, you have so much shit give. I was like, no, bitches, I fucking know that. But yeah, if I have extra time and energy, I want to place it into my daughter or my existing relationships, not on someone new exactly.

00:34:34
Speaker 2: And that's what I would always say. You know, I had so many friends like you have to go meet this guy, and I'd be like, I look at they sell either picture and tell me about it. And I was like, you know what, Like why am I gonna have to get a babysitter leave her to go on this date where I know it's not going to go anywhere? For what a free dinner? I can make myself food. I could take myself out like, I don't care, it's fine.

00:34:55
Speaker 1: No, your outlook is like exactly like mine. But when when you're in my or I'm in yours, like we should go have a girl's night. That's easy. Yes, I love girl time. So if you're still open to girl time even though you're ready to date, I would love to take you out on a date.

00:35:12
Speaker 2: Let's go on a date. I would love that. See that's like fun and making genuine, like good friends that because I kind of have an idea what you're going through and bend through it. So it's hard, you know, and it's hard being a single mom, especially when you do start dating. It's like this is all new that I'm learning now, Like when do you introduce your child to this person? Or like you know, there's so many things that run through my mind now where I'm like, Okay, I have to really like read out all the guys whoever I'm going to date, like they have to be very special before I even introduce them to my daughter.

00:35:49
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, It's like the stakes are so much higher now and you're going to think I'm a whack job, But I actually brought on a PI who I literally if I I'm even just talking even though I'm not ready to date exclusively, if I'm just welcoming a person into like my atmosphere, I run a background check.

00:36:11
Speaker 2: I actually that's smart because I don't Yeah, if you're going to bring someone new that you don't know anything about, you want to know who's around your child. Can you trust them?

00:36:22
Speaker 1: Right?

00:36:22
Speaker 2: And that's the thing from being on reality TV too. It's like your circle grows becomes so small, and then you do develop trust issues because at certain times you're like, well do you really want to be my friend? Or like there's so many blurred lines. And even dating on the Old Hills, you know, it's like I would get guys that were hot and they'd be like, let's just date on your show, and I was like, well, you're good. Look you know, I'll go on a date with you. So it becomes like, okay, you want to use me, I'll use you, Like, come on the show, we'll go on a date. And then that's the end of it.

00:36:55
Speaker 1: Well, and I think dating in LA is hard enough as it is, even without cameras being on you. But I like that you developed that you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. It's like, well then I'll just parade your fine ass on TV like a show pony.

00:37:09
Speaker 2: Say it works for TV.

00:37:12
Speaker 1: You did bring a lot of hot men around, I will say.

00:37:15
Speaker 2: Thank you, Yeah, I tried. Yeah, there was one in particular. I remember it was like I brought a lot of models on male models like supermodels. They are very good looking, but their intelligence level or right, we didn't have a lot in common or any I don't know.

00:37:32
Speaker 1: See, I have to have substance. I got to be able to go deep with you. I need to be able to talk about the universe, even if you don't agree with what I'm saying. Like, I have to be able to like, I can't stay surfaced with anybody.

00:37:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, like get deep debate, like find out why you believe in these things, because I'm open to hearing other people's perspective. You know, I'm not just till I'm not closed off, but it's interesting to like to be able to go back and forth and talk.

00:38:00
Speaker 1: Absolutely. I have to ask you about Justin, Bobby. Where is he in the world these days? Do you even know Justin?

00:38:08
Speaker 2: He lives down here in Orange County?

00:38:09
Speaker 1: Are you still friends?

00:38:11
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:38:12
Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah.

00:38:13
Speaker 2: The last well, he had a show, I think it was either at the end of last year, I don't know, like maybe six months ago in Huntington. So I went to a show. And then it was his fortieth in March, and I think he went to Vegas with all the guys and then he was going to go to Tuloom. We talked a little bit after that and then I haven't heard from him in the last couple months.

00:38:36
Speaker 1: Was that a toxic relationship or do you think you guys were just young and trying to figure out like where you wanted to be in life.

00:38:42
Speaker 2: I think at that point we were just young trying to figure out our life and dating. And I met him before the Hills, like I brought him onto it, so we had a relationship before, and then once he was on the show, it totally changed our dynamic and kind of changed everything. And then once he was on it, I couldn't get him off of it. There's no getting Justin out of my life. So we've both accepted it and we're just we're friends now forever.

00:39:13
Speaker 1: But it'll never evolve into something more now that you're both older and wiser.

00:39:19
Speaker 2: We've talked about it. I don't know, you know, I feel like I'll always have love for him, and he always checks in on me and Kira, and if he's around or I'm down in Huntington and Newport, like you know, we might meet up. But Justin's a mysterious man. He is a nomad, he's a gypsyam. He just loves not having any responsibility, not answering to anyone and just doing whatever he wants. He pops in and out of my life.

00:39:45
Speaker 1: Right, he's a popper, I will say, take all of that out of it. You guys would make gorgeous babies, thank you. But you would make gorgeous babies with anybody. I mean, look at you.

00:39:55
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.

00:39:57
Speaker 1: I had the best time having you on my podcast.

00:40:00
Speaker 2: I know, let's grab lunch or dinner.

00:40:03
Speaker 1: I would love it.

00:40:04
Speaker 2: Please, yes, let's do it.

00:40:06
Speaker 1: Congratulations on all of your success and it was such an honor to have you on my podcast. You're a fucking icon. Thank you, Thank you, babe. Have the best day.

00:40:16
Speaker 2: Bye.