‘Golden Bachelor’ Rewind with Gerry Turner | Golden Hour

00:00:07
Speaker 1: Welcome back, everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour.

00:00:11
Speaker 2: Kathy and I are back to join you. We're so excited, a don't we, Kat.

00:00:14
Speaker 3: We are always so excited to get back together. Be sure to check out our latest episode. We've been having so much fun answering all your questions and chatting with all of your Bachelor Nation.

00:00:27
Speaker 1: Faves, every single one of you. But today we have one hell of a guest baby. He is very special to us and he was the first ever Golden Bachelor.

00:00:41
Speaker 2: Gary Turner, Hey, Gar.

00:00:43
Speaker 4: Welcome, Hi you guys. It's so good to see you and hear your voices again. Love you guys to pieces.

00:00:50
Speaker 3: Welcome, Welcome.

00:00:52
Speaker 1: It's been a minutegare So before we even get started, I have a bone to pick with you, if you don't mind, Can I do that right off the bat. I was so excited that it was you coming, because let me start with this.

00:01:07
Speaker 2: Can you define friendship?

00:01:09
Speaker 3: Oh boy?

00:01:11
Speaker 4: The definition of friendship would be forgiving of someone who's close to you, being tolerant of them, understanding them, staying oh man, because now I'm gonnas myself.

00:01:24
Speaker 2: No no.

00:01:25
Speaker 1: So, when you were on TV the other day, I was watching and I sent you a text, well spoken, Gary, you didn't send a response.

00:01:34
Speaker 2: Joan was there, she sent a response. Anybody else but my.

00:01:37
Speaker 3: Friend Gary sasn't. Don't feel badly. He doesn't answer me either. He's very big now, he's very popular. He must have a lot of dates. We're gonna, we're gonna figure out why Gary.

00:01:48
Speaker 2: Are you not read your text? Looking? He's looking at this poem? Did I get it?

00:01:52
Speaker 4: Yeah? I missed it. It's not that I saw and ignore.

00:01:56
Speaker 5: All Right, we're gonna we're we're gonna, we're gonna grow you. We're gonna grow you later, Gary, But right now, we have so much stuff we want to dive into. So we're gonna get things started, and we want to know what you've been up to. Just give us, give us the day in the life of Gary Turner. What's going on with you?

00:02:16
Speaker 4: Well, So it was a nice winter. It was the first time that i'd been able to get away from the Midwest winters. And I went to Mexico for a couple of months, so an awful lot of time. And then of course when I'm down there, my dad passed away, so I had to rush back and you know, take care of a bunch of estate things for him, and I've been dealing with my siblings and the things that come along with dealing with the estate.

00:02:43
Speaker 3: I'm doing the same just as my head.

00:02:46
Speaker 4: Above water now on those things. And I'm back to playing pick a ball three or four times a week, and pretty much I'm really having a good time. I'm enjoying myself.

00:02:56
Speaker 3: So waite, how was Mexico? Where were you? Do you speak Banish? Tell me about Mexico.

00:03:02
Speaker 4: So I don't speak much Spanish, but the place I was at was San Carlos, which is about halfway down the Bahats on the west coast of the mainland, and the nearest big city is there, Mascio. There's an airport there, and the people there are so genuine and so kind that if you try to communicate with them and use a few Spanish words, they help you so much. There was a little grocery story I went to all the time, and there was a guy in the butcher shop. He always wanted to practice his English with me, and I always wanted to practice my Spanish. Oh god, it was nice, it was scary.

00:03:41
Speaker 3: All you need to know is don dasti Albano. Albano. Then you just need to say, maserve beer or you know, gusto, uh me, gusta mucho, vino tinto. I love red wine. I mean, any of those things will get you where you want to go.

00:04:05
Speaker 4: Just no bus.

00:04:09
Speaker 2: What made you go to Mexico?

00:04:10
Speaker 4: Gear, Well, so I have a cousin who has a sailboat there, and so she had the boat, I rented a condo. We shared, uh, quite a bit of time. You know, we'd go to meals together. She was a fairly accomplished mountain climber, and so I had a climbing partner. I had a yeah, yeah, I know.

00:04:32
Speaker 2: We'll get to that.

00:04:33
Speaker 4: So it turned out to be a pretty good combination for the two of us.

00:04:40
Speaker 3: So your daughters came down for a short time. Angie and Jenny came down for a bed.

00:04:46
Speaker 4: They did for the last five days.

00:04:48
Speaker 3: Nice.

00:04:48
Speaker 1: They came all they got from the whole winter. You only had the girls for five days.

00:04:54
Speaker 4: They have jobs. I do not. I have no place I got to be.

00:04:59
Speaker 3: All right, So you're back. You had a good time in Mexico. We saw you at AFR. How was that getting back and seeing Joan and Chalk and you know everybody. How did that gel must have been a little surreal.

00:05:14
Speaker 4: Well, I tell you what, I really liked it because the Friday morning breakfast I got to sit with Joan for quite a while and we compared notes. Then Chalk shows up, Clayton shows up, so we're all chitty chatting. And then that night the same group plus Leslie sat down for you know, a couple of drinks. And that was a ball. Man. You just hear in everyone's different perspective on what has happened and what's good, what's not working out right, and so forth. I loved it.

00:05:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's no hard feelings.

00:05:44
Speaker 4: I mean, no, no, no, no.

00:05:46
Speaker 6: Uh.

00:05:47
Speaker 2: Leslie looked great, didn't she She did?

00:05:50
Speaker 4: She did.

00:05:50
Speaker 3: I swear that girl gets younger every every time I say her. It's like she looks younger. She's living the good life. That's all I got to say.

00:05:56
Speaker 6: Yeah.

00:05:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, But was it weird though? To be back there, and you know, because you were the lead, you know, was it weird or not?

00:06:04
Speaker 4: I wouldn't say weird. I was. I was thankful to be there after a long hiatus, Uh, to get the invitation back and get to see so many of the people. I was. I was really thrilled with that, genuinely from my heart. I loved it.

00:06:18
Speaker 3: All right, So are you dating anyone now? Gary? What's going on anyone new in your life?

00:06:24
Speaker 4: There is there, there is something going on. It's a little early to talk about, I think. So that's exciting. That is exciting, And you can, uh, maybe get back to me in a month or so and we'll talk about I'm.

00:06:37
Speaker 2: Calling your ass again.

00:06:38
Speaker 3: I'm calling You can call him, but he doesn't answer or return calls, so you're screwed.

00:06:44
Speaker 2: You don't respond the messages. We're gonna we're gonna talk about this further.

00:06:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, Gary, is she local? I mean, just can we just? Is she local?

00:06:54
Speaker 4: Yes?

00:06:55
Speaker 1: And I have a question, how did you meet?

00:07:00
Speaker 4: Tell you that yet?

00:07:01
Speaker 2: Was it tender?

00:07:03
Speaker 4: No? I don't even know what.

00:07:05
Speaker 3: I bet it was on a pickleball court.

00:07:09
Speaker 4: No, it's a story, but it goes along with the story of you know, how it's happened, how I feel about it. But mostly I want to make sure that it's as solid as it feels.

00:07:26
Speaker 2: Because you talk about it, and then I will.

00:07:28
Speaker 4: Give you a really nice story.

00:07:30
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, So, Kathy, if it's not how he thinks it's going then he'll be on paradise.

00:07:35
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, there you go, Susan, when you have a PhD in logic here, I'm just paying attention.

00:07:44
Speaker 2: I see that sometime.

00:07:45
Speaker 3: So so well, certainly, Gary, we're happy for you if I mean, of course, and seriously we hope that whoever she is, that you are happy that you found love. You know, Susan and Kat well you know strike wise person's out there for.

00:08:03
Speaker 4: She won't let it go, Susan.

00:08:05
Speaker 3: She just never wanted the talk about. All right, so Gary, you but you are still in Indiana, right, that's where you are now? Yeah, still same house, same everything's good, and your health is good. We have to you know your health is good.

00:08:23
Speaker 4: It is you know. The The whole point is, as long as I don't have symptoms, I don't have to talk about treatments yet, and every six what tests I you know that one test is going to be way out of whack and get more out of whack as time goes by. But quite honestly, I feel great. I am enjoying life right now tremendously.

00:08:48
Speaker 3: And I told you Gary, but I'll bachination I have. The kind of cancer you have is very rare. It strikes one in a million men. And believe it or not, I dated a guy who uh got your same diagnosis, is about six months before you got it. And he I know, right, I know too, and I know two guys and whatever. But he is fine. Just to let you know, he's he went through the treatment. He waited like a year and a half and then he had the treatment and he's fine. And the doctors have said. Something else is you know you're gonna get hit by a bus and die before this cancer gets you. So bats our nation, Gary Turner is around for the long haul, Susan. He's gonna return your message. Leave him alone, the poor guy. All Right, we got to get into our question of the day. We're gonna we're gonna play. So we're gonna we have a question of the day, Gary, and we want you to wait in on it. Okay, So to the young listeners out there, of which there are many, what advice did you give them when it comes to facing big disappointments in life, like, you know, for example, not getting their dream job or a relationship not working out, those kinds of big things. What would your advice be?

00:10:13
Speaker 4: You know, that's a really good question. I think that. My first reaction is to tell them that part of the learning process in life is dealing with disappointment. And it's why I wanted to be in a team sport my daughters. I wanted them to be in team sport because when you're defeated, when you lose, you learn so much more, I think, than when you win. So look at those things as an opportunity to improve yourself or or you know, find new additional things to add to your resume, or whatever the case may be. But look at failure as a positive building block or what you do next.

00:10:53
Speaker 2: Garry, when your daughters.

00:10:56
Speaker 1: If your daughters had their first relationship not work out and they had broken hearts, how did you Because you don't want to hear that, you know, time heels, life goes on. You'll remember this later. It'll help you grow At that point you want to cry, don't.

00:11:12
Speaker 2: Tell me that.

00:11:13
Speaker 4: But the thing is isan you know Jenny, you know my oldest daughter. You know her pretty well. And the huh you by the way, yeah that's.

00:11:23
Speaker 2: True is his carving copy.

00:11:25
Speaker 4: Yeah. The first time she broke up with a serious boyfriend, my wife and I were relieved. We didn't like the guy. It's like good written good.

00:11:37
Speaker 3: I do like your advice, though, Gary, because I do think that, you know, it's it's it's not what we win what we lose. It's not the things we get right in life. It's the things we get wrong that teach us the biggest lessons. So I think that's really good advice.

00:11:53
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think that it's close to home for me as well, that the things that in the recent past, the last two years, that I've done wrong have been tremendous lessons for me on how to do better going forward.

00:12:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know, I repeat mistakes sometimes now that at this age I'm finally getting it. Care Gary, did you know that you can't you know people you know how close Susan and I are.

00:12:20
Speaker 3: I don't know if you know this. Two years ago, not quite two years ago, I broke my wrist exactly the same way, fell backward on it, had the same surgery, same hand. And the funny thing was, Susan has four pins and a really large plate in her wrist. And I said, of course you end out to me, Susan, because I had two pins and a small plate screwed sorry, two screws. Yeah, pins and plates is what they call it. You know again, I got pins, Susan get screws again.

00:12:47
Speaker 4: You know, the two of you are not competitive on who gets screwed the most.

00:12:53
Speaker 3: Gary, this is a family show. I win, Susan, you always win.

00:12:58
Speaker 2: No, I'm just saying, okay, now, all right.

00:13:01
Speaker 3: We're moving on.

00:13:03
Speaker 2: All right.

00:13:04
Speaker 1: So we have a collection of our most asked questions by our listeners, and Gary, we're.

00:13:12
Speaker 2: Going to give these listeners some advice.

00:13:15
Speaker 1: You're going to go first after I, Kathy and I read them, and then we'll put our two cents in. Sometimes Kathy and I, like earlier, when we did a podcast the other day, we agreed on almost everything, which is unusual.

00:13:30
Speaker 2: Okay, So if we agree with you, great, If we don't, that's great.

00:13:33
Speaker 4: So okay, all right you ready, yep.

00:13:37
Speaker 1: So what advice do you have for single parents introducing their children to a new partner?

00:13:47
Speaker 4: Oh? Wow, what a Oh that's a good one. I think the setting and the planning and the preparation are critical. You pick a happy place. Uh, you make sure that.

00:14:02
Speaker 2: New world in case they freak out. You want to be a problem.

00:14:06
Speaker 4: We don't care. But I think the important thing is is being don't over talk, but be honest. You know, if you start over explaining and saying too much, then it looks suspicious. Kids are really intuitive, So one hundred percent honest, but just don't overdo it.

00:14:26
Speaker 1: And don't you feel time like how long have you been seeing someone before you do?

00:14:31
Speaker 2: The introduction matters? Or I think it's not necessarily.

00:14:35
Speaker 4: Well, I think that depends. We're talking about a younger single parent. Then you know with smaller children, right, I guess yeah, And then I think yes, you have to be protective of the kids. You have to make sure that the partner that you're about to introduce has a very high level of success in your relationship. You don't want to be, you know, a revolving door. Right.

00:14:59
Speaker 3: I think you're right with you young children, but with older children, Gary, we are you're a widower. I'm a widow. I think that has a different set of rules for for for us because adult children. Because with me, I have not introduced my kids to one guy that I was dating, and then if a guy's a friend, And the reason is I feel, really I want my kids to know that I'm never going to replace that I'm not even attempting to replace their dad and you, I'm sure replace your wife. Uh So, I try to have those conversations with my kids before, you know, before I even think about meeting having the meet a potential partner. You are you that way?

00:15:50
Speaker 4: Well, I would push back on that a little bit. My recent experience. The person that i've I've just started dating, got to meet Angie and Jenny early on. We all went to dinner. It was.

00:16:07
Speaker 3: I'm gonna let you finish this conversation with Gary. I've got Jenny on speed dial and Angie, so I'm going to I'm gonna find out. I'll get back for the end of this podcast with all the scoop for you.

00:16:17
Speaker 1: But with adult children, I don't think there's anything wrong with it, as long as you feel a certain way about this person, right right?

00:16:25
Speaker 3: Do Wait a minute, do your kills? Gary? Wait? Do you do? Angie and Jenny who you know, Susan, I do know well, and we love them. They're lovely ladies. But when they meet someone, because you know, you've had a few girlfriends since the show, how do you say to them you know or don't you do? You just want you to meet?

00:16:48
Speaker 4: I do everything I can to not bias them because after the fact, I don't even ask for opinions, but it's important and significant to me how quickly they get back to me and what they have to say. So I'm not inviting anything, but when I get it, I know I'm getting the straights true.

00:17:08
Speaker 3: So what if what if your daughter had to yeah, really? What if your daughter said to you, yeah, really, They're like, god, Dad, please?

00:17:16
Speaker 2: We were instant friends though, Jenny.

00:17:19
Speaker 3: That's we were. We were. But my question is, Gary, what if Jenny Nanjie called you and said, I'm just going to use the name Kathy Susan Kathy Sue. That's that's your data. Kathy Sue, Kathyue, and and Jenny and Angie call you and say, Dad, what the hell are you thinking? Are you going to still go out with Kathy Sue?

00:17:45
Speaker 4: They would never say that. Well, what they would say that would send me the same message is Dad, do you know this person well enough? Dad? Do you have you asked all the right questions? That's all they need to do to be gracious, but send me the same message. And because they'd never say those negative.

00:18:05
Speaker 1: Things, can I ask you, Gary, what those questions would be like that they were referring to?

00:18:12
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, the things that I've learned to be a better communicator about is is talking about long term plans where someone would want to live. Financial security, you learned, You learned, Yeah, slow, but I get there, you know too, That's what we I'm a guy, so some of those questions that are important and the answers are so yeah.

00:18:42
Speaker 3: I don't know when do you know when to have those questions?

00:18:45
Speaker 4: Though I have antecdotally. I think there's a certain rhythm that you fall into with someone that you feel like you click with. And when you feel that rhythm, bringing hard topics up is very easy. It's amazingly easy. I had a really nice experience this weekend. She and I spent some time together and we started talking on the sofa, and an hour and a half later, we're at my island, both of us eating ice cream out of the same container. I love this and we didn't even realize.

00:19:23
Speaker 3: Wait, wit, Garry, what is it with you? What is it with you? You share a milkshake with Teresa, you have a cup of ice cream. I share with this car.

00:19:31
Speaker 2: He got me cotten candy.

00:19:33
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, there is such a thing as let me buy you an ice cream cone. Look the point is they were I'm just pulling your chain, you know that communicating.

00:19:44
Speaker 2: I think you're right.

00:19:45
Speaker 1: I think if it were my if it were me with my mom introduced me with somebody or something and I didn't care for them, I would probably.

00:19:54
Speaker 2: Say nothing.

00:19:57
Speaker 1: Until I was asked and then say, you know it's about you, and well.

00:20:01
Speaker 3: That's but Susan, you're an adult. Think about your daughter. They are adults too. But like my my kids, my kids and Gary, when I say these things like what the hell are you thinking that, I don't really think your daughters would ever say that. I'm just the gist is what I was after your Your daughter's polite. I'm polite. I would never say that either.

00:20:22
Speaker 2: It's just you don't even need to say those things.

00:20:24
Speaker 3: He knows that right, So, but I will say my children would say to me Mom. My kids would be polite but direct and say Mom, I don't I don't know what you're thinking. I know you're lonely, or I know you'd like to find someone, or whatever. They would say, but I think you need to get to know this guy better before we spend any more time with him, and that would help you.

00:20:50
Speaker 2: Have you met my sons why.

00:20:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, why what would your kids have been?

00:20:57
Speaker 4: Really?

00:20:57
Speaker 2: What do you think? Thanks?

00:21:01
Speaker 6: Son?

00:21:03
Speaker 2: What were you thinking? Wow? Okay, next question.

00:21:06
Speaker 3: All right, I have. The question I have is how do you go because I deal with this again like you do, Gary, how do you go about supporting yourself while also supporting your children after the loss of their parent, your spouse.

00:21:25
Speaker 4: Oh, Kathy, that's how I struggle. Yeah, it's we just metaphorically joined hands and wouldn't allow the others to sink too far. And in that circle, it wasn't just my daughter's but also my granddaughters. They played such a big role. My oldest granddaughter, Peyton was only fifteen at the time, and when the family got together at the house and everyone was ready to leave, Peyton looked at me and she goes, Paul, I'm not leaving. You can't be in this house by yourself this week. And it's like, oh, I got it. Was like that's the kind of support, that quiet, happy, supportive thing that people do when they're a close family. Yeah. So that's the best thing I got.

00:22:23
Speaker 3: I for me, I mean, my grandchildren one wasn't even born and the other one was not even three. They were babies. But I just you know, it's still my kids have gotten How long has it been for you, Gary since your wife died?

00:22:39
Speaker 4: This coming July, it will be eight years.

00:22:42
Speaker 3: Okay, so I just had my sixth anniversary. It feels I think my kids still your kids were older, we have. Some of your kids were older. My kids were in their early thirties. So so it's still hard though, I mean, I have to be honest, it's still hard.

00:23:00
Speaker 2: We support each other, children, parents. Everybody has their own way of mourning and.

00:23:06
Speaker 1: For loss, but you're there together and you touch base all the time that you happen.

00:23:11
Speaker 4: Now, there's there's unspoken communication at times, at certain times of the year, certain little events where we just look at each other and we go, oh, we know she's looking down, and because we all think the same thing at those moments.

00:23:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well we.

00:23:27
Speaker 1: Do times sometimes I'm sure you say, mom will be cracking up right now. Oh yeah, squashing that one.

00:23:36
Speaker 3: I gotta I have to tell you, I'm not I don't know what I think about reincarnation. But another topic. But my newest granddaughter, who will be two in April. Of course, so she was not alive, but she literally has my husband. Her middle name is Daryl, my husband's name. And she has his eyes, not just the color. My daughter and my been had the same colors, but her eyes are exactly my husband's. But the thing that and she gets me every time my husband used to say like he'd see something, he'd smile and you go wow all the time it was wow. My my granddaughter does it all the time. And I just know that, you know, I just feel like that is nice.

00:24:21
Speaker 4: Yeah, awesome, So.

00:24:23
Speaker 3: I feel like, but you know, I agree with you, Gary, it's great. It's great advice that just marking those times and feeling it together and just knowing that, as you said, Susan, we all grieve differently, but we all we all.

00:24:38
Speaker 1: In the case of a Divorceee, you're still not going to introduce your children until it's the same thing.

00:24:46
Speaker 2: You're not.

00:24:47
Speaker 1: It's not replacing a father, but when you have adult children, it's it's a whole different Yeah.

00:24:54
Speaker 6: Picture, if you will. Okay, we have another one.

00:25:04
Speaker 1: What advice do you have for those entering their golden years that struggle with aging, whether it be mentally managing their physical bodies, changing, et cetera. What challenges do you think come with aging that you think people don't expect or talk about.

00:25:24
Speaker 3: Oh my god, go gety go there are I mean, I was shocked.

00:25:33
Speaker 4: I think that one of the things that strikes me is the challenge of getting good sleep. You get up and down to the bathroom three or four times a night, and that causes the next day to be just a touch more groggy than it should be. The aches and pains of staying physically fit. Okay, so you decide that you don't want to go to the gym, or you don't want to go to pick a ball, you've wasted away. But when you do those things, you have to accept the fact that you're going to hurt a lot of the time.

00:26:03
Speaker 2: It's a lot.

00:26:04
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not Susan.

00:26:07
Speaker 2: There's just like Atlas over there, she pumps on.

00:26:11
Speaker 1: She doesn't nobody can compare to this one, but.

00:26:17
Speaker 4: She's the exception.

00:26:18
Speaker 3: No, wait a minute, wait is that great?

00:26:20
Speaker 2: Things easier?

00:26:21
Speaker 3: Wait, it's true, I've fed my share. Let me just say, Gary, I think, uh that working out everything you just said, like, sometimes things hurt. But you know what, if we're working out and you're after the age of thirty, you start losing muscle mass, right, So if we're maintaining or just losing slightly. We're ahead of the game.

00:26:43
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true. You know, from another angle, a slightly different thing is training your your mind to remain nimble. Yes, this is a simple example. But I was gone to Mexico for two months. I came back, go to shady nook next door to say hi to friends, and there's this momentary what was his name again? Because I haven't seen it once, and it's like the memory just is a little slower than it used to be. And I really hate that.

00:27:15
Speaker 2: I know, good friends, my friend mind's like a complete crawl.

00:27:20
Speaker 3: Okay, go ahead, Gary, you what you went to friends?

00:27:23
Speaker 4: What?

00:27:24
Speaker 2: So?

00:27:25
Speaker 4: You want to hold your friends tight, you want to honor them, and you want to make sure that you maintain those relationships, because I think that's important as you get older and you just now and then forget people's names.

00:27:39
Speaker 3: But let me just say I have two things to say. Number one, who are you talking to right now? It's a little mental challenge for you. Who are you talking to? That That one wasn't again he's struggling there. And then that other that other zip I would say, Gary, that one of the things that you're your You haven't mentioned, but you're sort of mentioning it is. As we get older, some people fall into isolation, and that loneliness the isolation, so it takes more work. As we get older, we have to get out, make new friends, have activities, because if we don't, the slide down is a whole lot faster. I think.

00:28:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, shared with the world.

00:28:21
Speaker 1: That was our message coming off of that show, the first ever show. What we felt was it isn't over. Everybody, life is not over. Keep moving, get out. It's full of possibilities.

00:28:35
Speaker 2: I mean, we didn't get the guy what guy?

00:28:39
Speaker 3: What guy? The Oh you mean the guy that gave away gifts to everyone but me? Oh that guy garrig You need my address to send me something because you know I'll send.

00:28:49
Speaker 4: It to you.

00:28:51
Speaker 1: We love you, We love you.

00:28:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, we really are. We pull your chain, I put your chain, but we are genuinely happy for you.

00:29:01
Speaker 2: Really does she realize she has to meet us?

00:29:05
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that comes I'm told.

00:29:07
Speaker 4: I think it would be fun.

00:29:09
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's been I can't wait a second. Gary, you did, and I'm putting it out to vaccinations, so you can't deny it. Susan, back me up. On this Gary, did you or did you not say you were going to have a bunch of us out to go out on your boat?

00:29:23
Speaker 6: Oh?

00:29:24
Speaker 3: Yes he did past ten a.

00:29:27
Speaker 4: Hund No, that is an open invitation.

00:29:31
Speaker 3: We need, definitely, we need, we need, we need a date and a time, Carrie, yep.

00:29:37
Speaker 4: And everybody shows up and we party like crazy. That would be a very popular event here man. Yes, it would totally renewed the celebrity status. It an amp up like you would not believe.

00:29:49
Speaker 3: Listen, will you make me a drink? Because I made you vodka Cranbery on the show? Will you make me a drink?

00:29:54
Speaker 4: I absolutely would? Okay, I of course absolutely would.

00:29:57
Speaker 2: And I'll cook always.

00:30:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, Oh my god, that'd be awesome. Well, you know.

00:30:03
Speaker 2: You got to make them plain.

00:30:04
Speaker 1: But Garret, how grateful are you to this day of having this happen in your life, having that opportunity, I mean, did it not change so many things?

00:30:16
Speaker 4: I have expressed that gratitude many times, many different ways, to many people. Granted, the whole experience wasn't all one hundred percent great, but my personal development, the things that I've been able to do, the fun I have being around people, Oh god, it's it was amazing and it still is amazing. I actually love going through Indianapolis Airport because it's still like everybody knows who I am and it's all fun.

00:30:50
Speaker 1: And did you learn anything that you didn't know about yourself?

00:30:55
Speaker 4: Yes? And that question is answered before and it's an easy one. I didn't know I was so easy to cry about stuff. I know.

00:31:04
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, you, wait a minute, you didn't know. I'm being serious. You didn't know that you were a crier?

00:31:11
Speaker 4: No, no, Kathy, it's like this. I think I got much more empathetic when my wife passed away.

00:31:18
Speaker 3: Okay, I can't believe you just said that, Gary. Why Because I say that all the time. I've always cared about people, and even though I have this big personality, I don't like to hurt people's feelings. After my husband, Daryl died, I am so even more empathetic. I've just never heard anyone expressed it what I feel.

00:31:41
Speaker 4: By a very clear watershed moment.

00:31:44
Speaker 3: Yes, And then with.

00:31:46
Speaker 4: Passing month and year, I feel like it became more that way. I genuinely felt like I cared for people and their well being much much more. And so then you know, the experience of of sending women home after I tried so hard to form a bond with them on the show.

00:32:05
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, that's just one example. My wife and I used to watch Chicago Med and Chicago Fire, and there's always about relationships. I sit down and watch that show now and I have to turn away because it gets.

00:32:18
Speaker 1: Me, okay, think about my wife, But I can't.

00:32:23
Speaker 3: I honestly, you you got me on this one because I've been pulling your chain all day and having fun with you because you know I love you, but in in the friendship friendship way. But I honestly, those are the things I watch. I cannot a I can't watch anything violent just because of my husband's death. But anything that I watched I used to make fun, in good fun of my husband, who cried and everything. He would cry at sappy movies and I say, what is wrong with you? It's Collywood, It's not for I mean, I just we used to laugh about it. From the day he's died, I am a crier that I never used to be, and Susan always saying me, did you cry? I just don't announce it. But I'm so much more of a crier now than I ever was, it's.

00:33:11
Speaker 1: In touch with your emotions. Now I cry over Hallmark the Clydesdale.

00:33:15
Speaker 3: Come, Susan, you cry over changing the TV channel. Let's just you, guys.

00:33:19
Speaker 2: You both mentioned something that I heard.

00:33:22
Speaker 1: You have more empathy than you ever had. I, however, was cursed at birth, and I have so much empathy. I would love to give some away because I take it home with it. I could never be a nurse, you know what I mean, when taking care of people. I'd bring that home. But and I love that you both feel that, and all people in the world should recognize that quality that they do have within them, and it would be a better place.

00:33:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right.

00:33:51
Speaker 4: One of the nice things I realized about this empathy is it's not just about sorrow or suffering. But Kathy, you can attest to this, Susan, I feel very empathetic when someone succeeds nicely, they overcome a challenge, It's like you want to celebrate for them and you feel so good for them. And that's the other side of that coin. Yeah, you get the joy of that.

00:34:17
Speaker 3: I think I think you just I can't speak for everyone, but I feel emotions. As you just said, it's not just the savage, but the the you know, ambulance. I When something good happens to people, I'm just like, oh, it's like I want to celebrate exactly. You just want to.

00:34:33
Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation fans like me because I did Teresa's hair when she asked me the girl it this way, I go.

00:34:39
Speaker 2: Do you know how long I've been doing hair?

00:34:42
Speaker 3: That's not celebrating Susan.

00:34:44
Speaker 2: It was she had the date. You're a boss, way way too bad.

00:34:52
Speaker 3: Will you do my hair? If I get a date?

00:34:55
Speaker 4: Yes, you cauns go ahead and talk amongst yourself. So I'll just sit over here in Indiana and wait.

00:35:00
Speaker 3: You know, Gary calling Gary, listen, we need a date and a time. I actually need a date and a date.

00:35:06
Speaker 4: If you get it, I do, I get it, And I can only help you out with half of that.

00:35:13
Speaker 3: You know what, I'll put a want to add out he has.

00:35:20
Speaker 6: All.

00:35:22
Speaker 2: This has been great for you.

00:35:23
Speaker 1: We're so happy for you, and we're calling your daughters assume as we're done, and no, no, I.

00:35:31
Speaker 3: Got a month's speed done it. It's gonna do it for me. This episode of Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks Gary, we really did enjoy having you. You gave out some great advice. We knew you would. We are both so happy. I'm speaking for Susan as well. We're happy that you seemingly have found someone that, at least right now, is making you happy and that makes us both really happy.

00:35:58
Speaker 4: Definitely, and I absolutely love talking to the two of you. Pleasure, and this has been allmine at one time.

00:36:08
Speaker 1: I know we eat chat severally, but when you get two on one, you're no. We're always laughing, We're always smiling.

00:36:14
Speaker 4: Isn't that like a Golden Oreo sandwich.

00:36:21
Speaker 3: Gary's the middle, Susan, you are not always the centerpiece. Susan, Jeez Lowie and Bachelor.

00:36:26
Speaker 2: Nason and all our other fans.

00:36:28
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for joining us today, and make sure the follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new shows coming out every week and you don't want to miss them.

00:36:37
Speaker 3: I mean, come on, if you enjoyed listening to Gary today as we did in having this chat, that we've got more coming. So make sure you submit your questions to us, your comments, your thoughts, uh, you know, your guesses on who Gary's dating. We want to hear it.

00:36:52
Speaker 4: All.

00:36:53
Speaker 3: All you got to do is go to Bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour or dm us on Instagram at happy.

00:37:00
Speaker 1: Hour and when we find app cats, we're telling, OK, We're telling Oh yeah, Gary, your toes buddy. Make sure to listen to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app, foor wherever you listen to your podcast.

00:37:13
Speaker 2: Have a great week, everybody,