Parties + Celebrations: Making Getting Together Fun (and not Stressful!)

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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, and speaker.

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Speaker 3: And this is Sarah Hartunger. I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are two working parents who love our careers and our families.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 2: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, and time for fun. From figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. We want you to get the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura Today. In this episode we are going to be talking about parties, adult parties, kid parties, memorable parties, how to have a good party, Lots of topics about parties. It's funny when I was saying that, I was in my mind running through Have you read Dragons Love Tacos?

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Speaker 1: You must have read Dragons of Course and the sequel.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's true, Dragons love tacos too, But they talk about how how dragons love big parties.

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Speaker 1: Dragons lofve little parties.

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Speaker 2: There was no big parties with accordions, tiny little parties with charades, right like something like that. So many many different kinds of parties. I have not had a big party with accordions or a little party with charades, but they sound great, especially with tacos.

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Speaker 3: That's actually a great kid party idea. If your kid loves that book, you could do a taco party based on you could give the book out for a party favor.

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Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I have a whole thing in my mind.

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Speaker 2: They could all go bury the spicy salsa in the backyard, right so the dragons don't eat it and get the tummy troubles. Because when dragons get the tummy troubles, Oh boy, oh, I just love that concept. I mean they were the authors like sitting around thinking, like, you know, what would be really funny, like a dragon with indigestion, what would happen?

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Speaker 1: And next thing you know, we have dragons love tacos. So, Sarah, given that you have not.

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Speaker 2: Hosted a dragon taco party, what is a memorable party that you have once hosted?

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Speaker 3: So I interpreted this question more on the adult side, although perhaps I will answer my most memorable kid party as well now that you mention it. The most memorable adult party was probably my husband's fortieth, which was now nearly no more than eight years ago, because he happens to be that old. And that's the last time we threw a decent sized party, like in our own venue or really anywhere else for that matter, which makes me really kind of sad. I think we did throw kind of a party after Genevieve's birth, but I think that was my in law, So yeah, it's been a really really long time. I mean to put in respective like she didn't exist back then. I do remember that I had childcare, which made it like a little bit less stressful because at the time I had like a two year old and a zero year old, so that definitely helped a lot. And we did catering and music, we got like Mediterranean food, we invited like everybody in my husband's life basically, and it was so much fun. And the more I think about it, the more I'm like, I need to do that again, so I can't wait.

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Speaker 1: My most memorable.

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Speaker 3: Kid party probably would actually be the time we did it at a kids cooking school and we did it for Annabelle and they got to like make their own pizza and it was like perfectly led, you know when some places just like have that rhythm right and the kids are never bored and they're just super into it, and it's like there's no time for them to like act crazy or bad or anything. It was just a great It was a great party. So yeah, those are my favorite adult in kid parties, at least within the last decade.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, interrelated, I think my thirtieth birthday, which more than a decade ago now, but we hosted at a cooking school in New York City and had a couple tables of people in a private space and we all participated in cooking and then eating the meal with lots of wine as an accompaniment. And it was you know, fun for me because I knew everyone, of course, and we were actually actively doing a project, so you're not just standing around talking. You know, though to a degree you are because as you might imagine, and anyone who's done this as like a corporate bonding activity or something, the staff takes over about one drink in because it turns out that a group of people who are all trying to catch up with each other is not actually a good group of people to keep a dinner, you know, on the conveyor line, getting it in the oven, getting it out on time, Like there would be burnt everything, it would be messed up. So the staff takes over approximately one drink in. But you feel like you have really made, you know, your own meal, and you're doing something other than just standing around talking and so that can be kind of cool.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, that was good.

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Speaker 2: We also hosted a pretty good book party for Off the Clock. Rented out a restaurant in New York and had a ton of people come and just you know, again, it's fun because.

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Speaker 1: It's like, you know everyone.

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Speaker 2: I'm an introverted person, but of course if I am hosting the party, then that problem is solved.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm not having to meet new people.

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Speaker 2: I already know everyone, and so I tend to like like that kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So but we've been part of it. You know, what is it that makes the party good?

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Speaker 2: I mean, as you think about, like, what was it that you think made Josh's fortieth birthday party particularly good?

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Speaker 3: I think it was right sized. I mean, it wasn't enormous. I knew everyone fairly well. A lot of those people knew each other because you know, it's Miami Beach and everybody knows each other. And yeah, it's just like a surrounding of loved ones.

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Speaker 1: It was pretty low key.

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Speaker 3: I didn't put a lot of pressure, and I outsourced what I needed to outsource. I didn't try to cook a bunch of things that might have gone awry. There was a point to the party, which we'll get to. Like, the focal point was clearly celebrate this fortieth birthday, and so you know that was nice, and yeah it was. Again, I haven't thrown that many parties, so it's not like this one stands out among the fifty parties I've thrown as being the winner. Yet thinking about it definitely just makes me think we should do these types of things more often. And I have an aside to add, which is that whenever you have your next book release party, let me know because I'm coming.

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Speaker 2: You're coming, Okay, sounds good. We'd love to have you. I need to write another one. I need to come up with an idea, so I'll get on that.

00:06:14
Speaker 1: Welcome ideas.

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Speaker 2: Anyone's got a time management book they're dying to read.

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Speaker 1: I need to write one.

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Speaker 2: So oh, how about some interesting party? You know, Like you said, neither of us have hosted so many parties. I've hosted some in my life and would love to host more. But what are some that you've seen other people host, like ones you've attended that have been particularly memorable.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So I have done karaoke at several parties, and it may just be that I personally enjoy karaoke a lot, but it makes those parties memorable. And I have to say, there is nothing like a couple of drinks in karaoke to bring out the side of like work friends that you just are just kind of work colleagues, even that you just never expected, because there takes a certain like vulnerability right when someone goes up and sings. And so when somebody that you don't know well that feels comfortable enough to do that in front of you and a bunch of their peers, like it gives a special intimacy and like a celebratory quality that's really really nice. So the last work party we had actually was not that long ago. It was at one of the doctors I work with. Her house is like right near the hospital, and she has a karaoke machine and she she's actually a pretty quiet, introverted person, but she gets into like a party mode and that karaoke machine comes out and there's a lot of like Latin music because just we have a lot of people from different countries in my office and like, yeah, it's awesome.

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Speaker 1: So that was very memorable.

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Speaker 3: And then I'll say my in laws are really good party throwers, Like they're very good at like picking a theme and just going all the way. My mother in law will do like little subtle things with decor and is great about creating things for the kids to do while the adults are socializing so that it doesn't feel forced. But it's like, ah, they have an activity and you thought about it and it goes with a theme, and like that's so awesome. So yeah, my in laws do a great with a lot of the holidays and themed celebrations.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the theme thing is keym and for reasons we'll get to in a minute.

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Speaker 1: But I went to one.

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Speaker 2: I don't think this gentleman listens to this show, although if he does, that's awesome. But a friend of mine in New York many years ago would annually host something he called the Coco Motion Party. So I don't know if anyone else has wound up with this small kitchen appliance, but it is a hot cocoa maker called the Coco Motion and he.

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Speaker 1: Had bought himself one.

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Speaker 2: I suppose it's kind of a funny concept if you think about it like that. You would need an actual machine to make hot chocolate, which is chocolate blended with a liquid like overheat. So any pot can do that, right, But anyway, so the Coco motion machine both heated and stirred for you. So he had found space for this in his Manhattan apartment. But it was a good time to have a party because it was always in January, Like it's in the January dol drums with like nobody's doing anything. It's like miserable outside and you're done with the holidays, and here's the co commotion party. And then you come and have hot chocolate of various different varieties. You know, you can make it mint, you can make it alcoholic, you can make it various different ways that you can spice that up. So I always thought that was kind of a fun one to have regularly, and as it was happening regularly every year for a couple of years, at least people come to plan on it, which is also a nice thing with a party.

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Speaker 1: Our preschool also.

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Speaker 2: Has a Mom's Wine Night in March, and actually the host this year does listen to the podcast, so shout out. It was excellent, you did awesome. But the goal is to get donations of wine bottles for the silent auction that the preschool hosts later in the spring. You bring one rated ninety plus for the basket, and you know, one to share for the night. You know, obviously it's just general socializing with other moms at the preschool, but it.

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Speaker 1: Had a purpose. It's like, why you all came there to contribute to this.

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Speaker 2: Basket to get people excited for the upcoming silent auction. So you know, even if you didn't know anyone from the preschool, you might have met a person or two. So then when you do go to the silent auction a month later, you have people to talk to.

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Speaker 1: There as well. So I always thought that was a great idea too. And you know, obviously if we have.

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Speaker 2: A marvelous host shout out again to our listener, then it's even better.

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Speaker 3: That sounds really fun. We're going to get to parties that we fantasize about. But I have also always wanted to do like a wine tasting party where you compare like really really inexpensive wine with really fancy wine and everybody tries to guess which is which and say which is better, because I just think that would be fun.

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Speaker 2: Well, honestly, I think if people are blindfolded, they wouldn't even know if they were having red or white.

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Speaker 1: The price point is an entirely different thing.

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Speaker 2: So yes, yes, all right, Well let's take a quick ad break and then we would be back with more on party practicalities. Well we are back talking all things parties. So I know a lot of listeners have read Priya Parker's book The Art of Gathering, which if you haven't read, is a good read. It has some elements of social parties, which are gatherings, and of course work meetings are also gatherings, and I think some people have read it in the context of that, like if you're planning a conference, if you're planning a big meeting for people, there's a lot to think about in terms of needing a reason you're gathering and needing an agenda, and you know, needing to think about the experience. And it turns out that the two have so much in common, and you don't necessarily think of, you know, the neighborhood block party as having much in common with the meeting where you've got all your new hires gathered to welcome them to your office. But the in fact, they do have a tome in common when you're bringing people together. So just running through some of them and we can we can talk about a little bit of them that she says, a good gathering needs a premise or a purpose, so you know, it's why are you all coming together? And does everyone know that? I mean, you know that's why Josh's party Bartley was good, right, I mean, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, yeah, definitely a clear purpose there.

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Speaker 3: I was getting distracted by the own world part that we're going to get to in a second.

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Speaker 1: But I'll just read it like.

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Speaker 3: The host curating the guest experience and putting the gathering into its own world like decor and music. And sometimes I feel like this is one category with like the more dramatic it is, like the more over the top people go, the more fun and memorable it is. I mean, obviously, within reason, you don't want guests to actually like be afraid for their lives at a Halloween party or something like that, but like think of those silly parties in college where like every room was a different decade or there was like Heaven and Hell or something so silly like that, and people were costumed, but like that was really fun. We can do that even as adults, maybe in a slightly more sophisticated fashion, but still like you got to kind of create a world, create an experience.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: She also talks about having good exclusion, meaning that the people who are there are there for a reason, and that doesn't mean that there can't be like an everyone come sort of thing. But who is the everyone? I mean, we don't know everyone on the planet, So why are you bringing these particular people together? And in something like a neighborhood black party, it's the people who live in a certain area. Who would you want them to get to know each other? And so it's not saying that you know, if your cousin is visiting, she can't come to the party. Obviously she can, but the point isn't for you to introduce your cousin to everyone. The point is for everyone there to be getting to know each other to have a more cohesive neighborhood. Or if you are welcoming new hires into your office, you need the new hires there and the other people who are there are there because there is a reason they need to meet the new hires. Now, obviously you want them to meet everyone in the company at some point, but these particular first people are there to be part of the experience of these new hires being welcomed, and so people run into this with meetings that there's sometimes extraneous people at the meeting because it has I don't know, become like the cool kids table at the middle school, Like, oh, Joe's going to that meeting. If I'm not there, I'm not on par with Joe as I Well, no, I mean, you know, Joe has been involved in this project for two months and you passed it along, Like you don't need to go so as much about who is there for a reason? Who is not there for a reason.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And it can be about just connection to one specific person too. I mean that's kind of your logical exclusion for a birthday party, right, Like is this person a loved one of that person? Okay? If they are, they go on the list. And those can give you quite a diverse mix of people because that person may have work friends and home friends and family, et cetera. But at the very least they all have the connection of knowing that person and surprise. That's a really easy icebreaker at that kind of a gathering, right, like, oh, how do you know Joe? Oh well, I'm his neighbor. Oh I'm his mechanic, I'm whatever.

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Speaker 1: Exactly.

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Speaker 2: There also needs to be an opening and an end, and uh, Priya has a particular thing like, don't open the funeral with announcements. I mean, she says, you know, people do this and I've experienced this in various worship services too, that you get there is the beginning and then the person gives up to get announcements about something, right, and you know that with the funeral, it's like, Okay, we're gathering to celebrate the life of Joe. The reception afterwards is going to be at this place and if you need to park, this is where you go. And it's like, okay, yes you need to convey that information. But maybe there can be another way to do it other than this experience of you know, gathering to celebrate Joe. Unless Joe was really into parking details and this is honoring his memory in that way, but thinking about how people get there and how about you know, people end the experience, how they leave this world that you have created.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, super interesting, which.

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Speaker 2: I mean one random thing I was saying about it just like where are people park?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: I mean I know that's why you know they were talking about with the funeral and the logistics of parking, but just something like with your house, like do people know where they're supposed to park? If it's not obvious? Like right, you know there's a lot of parking on the street or I don't know, you happen to have a huge yard whatever it.

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Speaker 1: Is, But do they know?

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Speaker 2: And that's even thinking how do they get from there to your door? You know, what is the whole experience when they come in?

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Speaker 3: What is it?

00:16:43
Speaker 1: What do they see? And so forth? And Sarah, I think you'd ask about an end time? Is that even?

00:16:48
Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Well about the parking, I'll just I think it's so helpful to provide people with as much information upfront as is practical, because at least as a guest, I know, I so prefer to just know exactly, Oh there's be of la great, you know, versus like being surprised. So shout out to anybody about to plan a party. If you can let people know details, it's great. But yes, end times, do you give them. Is that considered rude? Like how do you kick people out if you are done partying because you're just like not a stay up until one am kind of a person, or you have kids that are gonna wake you up at six?

00:17:21
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts?

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Speaker 3: I don't have having not thrown a party since you know, the mid twenty tens, I don't have a strong opinion on this, but i'd like to know for the future.

00:17:31
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I don't mind an end time.

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Speaker 2: I think that's fine to say, because I think people want to know what they're getting into, and you know, sometimes people aren't going to come right at the beginning, so they want to know, like when can I come two? Like, you know, if you aren't going to have anyone there after ten o'clock, that's probably helpful to let people know. Or sometimes you know, we've had a couple of kind of late afternoon parties. I like this window, like the four to seven pm window is actually I think a really good time for a party because then people aren't going to stay all night. They're going to go do something else. But it's you know, still enough that people can have.

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Speaker 1: Food there or whatever. Still feel like like an end of day kind of celebration.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, maybe it's just having been in the habit with like kid parties obviously put an end so the parents know when to pick them up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, true, And honestly, if you're in kind of our phase of life, the end time can be helpable for kids who people who have kids and are leaving them with the sitter, so they at least kind of know when to expect the festivities to be over all right, I'm pro end time. Hopefully that's not like the wrong etiquette because.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, although I think when in the book The Art of Gathering, I mean thinking about how a gathering ends, it's more that people aren't just like shoved out into the world, but you know, thinking about what the.

00:18:45
Speaker 1: Ending of the experience is like as well.

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Speaker 2: And that's one of the reasons if you think about it, that kid parties end with like a party favor, Right, it's something that you're taking out into the rest of the world from your experience there, and you might not necessarily do that with an adult party. But about how it ends and how people experience the ending of it, it, you know, just adds an extra little special layer.

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Speaker 3: I'm thinking about how parties end in movies, and I feel like it's either like the parents come home or like the police break it up. Like there's a lot of great examples of like how to effectively end a party.

00:19:18
Speaker 1: Something else happened. Yeah, well, I don't know some party supplies. What should you own?

00:19:23
Speaker 3: Hmm Ooh okay, So I agreed with you about like I feel like an adult because I have folding tables and chairs. Like this was a huge milestone because we'd be like, oh, ten people over and I'd have our residence over and be like, oh God, they have no where to sit. And then finally I think we went to like Walmart, Like it wasn't so extravagant outlay and it didn't even cost very much at all.

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Speaker 1: They're like plastic.

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Speaker 3: But now I can see like a bunch of people, and it's definitely common handy, even for kid birthday parties, to have the kids have somewhere to sit, or to have the adults sit while the kids are doing something else. So that has been item number one for me. Long folding tables that could either be fit in the house or out side, and more chairs than you think you'll ever need, just like the cheap folding ones. Yeah, those are super helpful.

00:20:07
Speaker 2: Yeah. We got a couple of card tables this year when we hosted a few outdoor parties for different things, and it was like, oh, yeah, that's why people own them. And yeah, literally I was like thirty dollars for you know, not even the cheapest one on there.

00:20:23
Speaker 1: So yeah, they're definitely good to have.

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Speaker 2: We also have been trying to just have like plastic silverware and plates and napkins so that for whatever reason, you know, if you need them, you have them.

00:20:38
Speaker 1: Right And they're good for parties, So there's that.

00:20:40
Speaker 2: But sometimes even if you have family coming over for a meal and something has gone wrong in the dishwashing process and now we don't have enough plates, it's good to have these things around so you can quickly make it work and not be stressed.

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Speaker 3: We always end up like collecting extras from various kid birthday parties and so like when people come over, it's like, oh, like three Mermaid plates and then like two video game plates, and it's a mix. But yes, we like to have we kind of keep a stash and that's definitely helpful to have. I was also going to mention that you can rent things like big tables and chairs. So if the issue is that you truly don't have a place to put them without like really disrupting stuff. The problem is like renting does cost almost as much as owning them, So it's really only makes sense if you have no where to put it, which could be the case. I mean in our old house, like in our Miami Beach house, we actually did not really have anywhere to put it. I didn't want to live with like a huge table in our house. Now we have a decent sized garage, so it makes this very easy from a storage perspective. But you can have your party company on speed dial, and if you use the same one over and over again, you kind of know the process and what they offer, and sometimes then you don't have to clean certain things up as well.

00:21:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, that you could just send it back and they'll clean it. That sounds like a nice thing. We also bought a big cooler what I don't know, what's that? What's that brand?

00:22:02
Speaker 3: It was like like coleman or Yetti or something that Yetti Yeti's a fancy one Coleman's Like, well.

00:22:08
Speaker 2: It was kind of crazy because you put the ice in there and I you know, hadn't cleaned out all of it, like four days later, there was still ice in it. It was just like, oh, I guess I can take this on a camping trip if I if I needed to, and also adequate glassware. So I think this is another sign of adulthood because it also doesn't cost much at all. I think I bought oh boy, like twenty four red wine glasses and twenty four white wine glasses at bed Bath and Beyond, which I'm you know, they may be liquidating.

00:22:42
Speaker 1: The stores now.

00:22:43
Speaker 2: I'm not sure where that stands at the moment, but it was very cheap like, and especially they always had those thirty percent off coupons that they kind of hand out on the way in as well.

00:22:53
Speaker 1: And it was not much.

00:22:54
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, it's a dollar or two of glass, and so then you have it, right and people can actually drink out of the glasses, although you can also buy plastic like champagne flutes or something like that. If you're gonna have a special cocktail that you need a special glass for, it doesn't have to be an expensive ordeal.

00:23:10
Speaker 1: But yeah, Ikia sell them right there.

00:23:13
Speaker 3: Yeah, Ikea is what I was gonna say, is our go to for a very inexpensive glassware. And the nice thing about dollar glassware is also that if one of them happens to break because the party is really raging, then it's not really at.

00:23:25
Speaker 2: The end of the world, not at all, which is why it's helpful to have a big trash can. So this is something you definitely need to think through with a party, is what is the trash situation? Because I mean, most people don't want to just leave their trash lying about. If they are the nice people that you would have invited to your party, they want to be responsible with their trash, but if they can't find the place to put it, and I feel like in a lot of modern kitchens there it's like very exciting to hide the you know, trash and some drawer that it doesn't look like it's the trash, and so you know, people are gonna have to be opening like ten different drawers to find where you put your trash can. Put it out, have a big one, line it with really heavy plastic and then you can just wrap it up at the end of the night and take it out and you're good.

00:24:13
Speaker 3: Totally makes sense. We have definitely done that with kids' birthday parties. Make it obvious, make it easy, otherwise you'll have paper plates all over year on Sarah's the music, Yeah, what do you Yeah, I've made playlists on occasion. I mean we just like turn on our speakers. When I say like we just do this, well, I mean we do it for like smaller dinner parties, which we have done since twenty fourteen. Don't worry, but yeah, and then other times I just let Apple or Spotify, like you can just look up like chill dinner party or like fun nineties music or the Yay playlist, which is my kid's current favorite, would be great for a kid birthday party. Yeah, because the people at those services kind of do a good job of curating playlists because it's turned out.

00:24:53
Speaker 1: I think they do that all day long.

00:24:56
Speaker 2: So you get into the idea of what makes it, you know, all nice, alternating different kind of isaaca, but all in the same theme. Yeah, exactly, party menus. So what's your favorite party food?

00:25:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I would say ease over anything else. I think cheese is always a wind giant cheese plate. No one's gonna say no to that. I think takeout can be your best friend. As I mentioned, I think Mediterranean is particularly good. Here's why not that expensive? Usually so many good appetizers, like who doesn't like peda triangles and hummus and like all the different dips. It has a lot of foods that would be good for people who are like vegan or vegetarian or like paleot like. They kind of have serve every dietary end of the spectrum and it's delicious. So that's what we did a million years ago is probably what I would do again if I was hosting a big party at the house for kid parties.

00:25:48
Speaker 1: Of course there's pizza.

00:25:50
Speaker 3: Those are my big go Tou's. Oh and Trader Joe's has a lot of like if you're throwing a party that's supposed to look fancy but you're not actually fancy, get a million of those Trader Joe's appetizers like minikeishes and stuff because they look impressive, but like they're very easy and not terribly expensive.

00:26:05
Speaker 2: So I'm going to do a shout out for Costco shrimp trays because in times I've looked into like catering parties or something like that for whatever, the shrimp tray is often incredibly expensive and a lot of people like shrimp and cocktail sauce, and it's you know, looks fancy and it fits with you know, anyone who can eat shellfish, and obviously that's a big allergy in there, but you know, it's it's a good party food. But it tends to be really expensive when you're getting it catered. But costco shrimp trays are very cheap for how much shrimp you are getting, So you just load up a couple of them and then you've got a huge thing of shrimp that people can can dig into. So we've wound up buying like three or four of them for a big party and then feeling like we have tons of shrimp.

00:26:51
Speaker 1: It's very exciting.

00:26:53
Speaker 2: I will say that I'm always curious about the veggie tray, and people can write into me about this, but I feel like they are created to look like all the different colors. So you have the carrots, you have broccoli and cauliflower. Usually on these veggie trays, do people actually eat.

00:27:13
Speaker 1: Raw coliflower and raw broccoli?

00:27:15
Speaker 2: That's it strikes me is there'se They're not the world's best raw foods.

00:27:19
Speaker 1: You know, carrots totally good, but.

00:27:21
Speaker 3: In theeum with you and yet in practice, Like at least two out of three of my kids would totally eat the raw cauliflower and broccoli, especial if they can put a bunch of ranch on it, and especially if there's little kids. I think parents like having like a little healthy something to put on their plate. Now, whether it actually gets eaten not always, but I don't know. I think it depends on the audience.

00:27:39
Speaker 2: Don't get the veggie tray, like, just get a big thing of carrots.

00:27:43
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, those are the most populars.

00:27:45
Speaker 2: Are the most carrots are cucumbers or even celery sticks. I think, you know, because people like, you know, if you had like blue cheese or something that would yeah, buffalo sauce. I think carrots and celery are like the two veggies that people are most likely to actually eat.

00:28:00
Speaker 1: And same thing with the fruit tray.

00:28:01
Speaker 2: I mean, so fruit it's a little bit more people will eat all of it. But I think sometimes like the honeydew melon gets less dug into than the strawberries, So you might just buy a bunch of strawberries or a big bowl of grapes, and then you don't have the extra stuff that.

00:28:19
Speaker 1: People aren't necessarily eating. I don't know, maybe that's just me.

00:28:25
Speaker 3: I kind of like the trays that they exist because they can be such an easy whenever there's a school thing, if I see that on the list, like oh ooh ooh me because it's like easy.

00:28:33
Speaker 1: Like yeah, you know you're going to find it.

00:28:35
Speaker 3: It's not a specific brand, like you're not going to mess it up and you don't have to do any work.

00:28:40
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, No, I just say, if you were going to make a veggie tray, like just put it with the veggies people actually eat, or fruit tray, you know, make it with two the strawberries and the grapes or whatever.

00:28:49
Speaker 3: I feel like this is a business idea waiting to launch Laura's veggie trays that people actually want to consume.

00:28:55
Speaker 2: Versus the ones that I just just look pretty with the multiple different kinds of veggies.

00:29:01
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:29:01
Speaker 2: Now, I'm a big fan of pita chips and flavored hummus. That's another cheap and easy option. And Costco actually sells cheese trays right that you have like four different kinds of cheeses that I'm sure have been chosen because they go together as a cheese flight. So if you are not in fact a cheese expert.

00:29:21
Speaker 1: That can be good.

00:29:23
Speaker 2: I've thought about doing a party sometime where you get a food truck to come.

00:29:26
Speaker 1: Have you ever experienced one like this? Yeah?

00:29:29
Speaker 3: I went to a kids one with an ice cream truck that was a big hit. I mean it was like free for all, like get whatever you want. It was pretty cool.

00:29:35
Speaker 2: Yeah. But I mean one of the food trucks that sells like a certain kind of food.

00:29:39
Speaker 1: I don't know the main lobsters.

00:29:41
Speaker 2: That's probably really expensive one, but I don't know, kebabs or street tacos or something. And you have it park in your driveway and then people can do that as they're entree, and then you supplement with the veggie tray.

00:29:56
Speaker 1: That could be fun. I don't know.

00:29:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, for a big party that would be that'd be great. I also recently saw a blog post about the comeback of Ruffel potato chips and like sour creamin onion dip.

00:30:08
Speaker 1: Oh. Yeah, And I will say that is a classic. It is a classic good party food. It does. I mean people will probably eat it.

00:30:13
Speaker 2: It may not look that fancy on your table, but people will no doubt eat it. Sarah put a question in hear of any fantasy parties you want, what's your fantasy party, Sarah.

00:30:24
Speaker 3: My fantasy party is my is the Taylor Swift party that I have yet to throw because I'm not going to concert because I just couldn't could not. I mean I could have, but I prioritize other things, let's put it that way, then spending like probably ten k on tickets for the terrible seats.

00:30:40
Speaker 1: So since I'm not doing that, I.

00:30:42
Speaker 3: Was like, I want to throw a Taylor Swift party karaoke and Taylor videos and like invite everybody I know who loves Taylor Swift and we all just sing and like talk about Taylor Swift. We could have like a quiz game, there could be party favors themed I think this would be really fun. I also, I'm not sure it will actually happen. I actually think I just want to go to this party. I don't want the work throwing it.

00:31:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, you want somebody else to throw the Tailor Swift party, Yes, yes, I do.

00:31:08
Speaker 3: So.

00:31:09
Speaker 2: Speaking of parties that we sometimes have other people throw, we may pay for them, but you have other people doing the work at kid birthday parties, so you mostly do yours at venues or with somebody else running it right.

00:31:23
Speaker 3: Usually we're doing our first home one in about a month, so I'll let you know how that goes.

00:31:27
Speaker 1: But I love a good venue.

00:31:29
Speaker 3: We've done basketball, We've done cooking, as I mentioned, We've done gymnastics, We've done pitt your own pottery, kind of done like a lot of different parties. And I just love having somebody else kind of run the show, in part because I have more fun if I can like talk to people and not worry so much about being master of ceremonies or keeping everybody occupied. And so that's been our go to and the kids are usually excited about it. Video Game Truck was a hit for Cameron two years in a row. I could see doing that for a while.

00:31:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good one.

00:31:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've done and I remember there's one memorable year where we did three parties at Bounce You. Like our three older children, I think they were like eight, six and four or something. We did all three of them at Bounce You in the course of the year, so we were we were good customers there. I will do a shout out though, if you are doing a party at a venue and they do the pizza and cake or whatever to actually bring the fruit tray because we did this with Alex's party in January, brought you know, we did like an orduruv tray and a fruit tray because that well, maybe some adults will stick around and then we have stuff for them to eat other.

00:32:31
Speaker 1: Than just you know, the pizza. But I was surprised how many kids took the fruit.

00:32:36
Speaker 2: They're like, ooh, it was like pineapple and you know, strawberries, and so I was like going around dishing those out and we actually got takers for a lot of it, so that was good.

00:32:46
Speaker 1: And then there was you know, one.

00:32:47
Speaker 2: Kid who even ate the olives off them. Kid, it was a more sophisticated palette.

00:32:53
Speaker 1: I was like, it didn't mean that you couldn't have it.

00:32:55
Speaker 2: I was sort of like this was for the adults who are there, and then the kid is like over there like covering at it, looking at the alives. I'm like, you could eat it too. You could have the cheese and olives and you don't just have to eat the mass produced pizza. That's not your thing.

00:33:10
Speaker 1: Have a say yeah, if you do it at your house. So we did.

00:33:13
Speaker 2: Ruth did a sort of Halloween party because her birthdays in October that we did at our house, and you really it's a lot more work because you have to think through the whole guest experience, so and think about what activities could they do, and we wound up getting some of those, like polaroid cameras so they could take pictures of each other in their costumes and in front of different scenes, wrapping kids up like a mummy with toilet paper, decorating pumpkins, telling scary stories outside with flashlights. So I think definitely need to have a theme and then think through the activities, because that's what they do at a venue, is there's a theme, because you're at a place that has a theme, presumably, and then they move them to different stations, usually at different points, and so you sort of have to think about what's your equivalent in your house.

00:34:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good point.

00:34:02
Speaker 3: I'll have to think about that and kind of an estimated amount of time that each will realistically take, and probably have some extras in case certain things are not hits and you got to move on.

00:34:11
Speaker 1: This is why I do venues. It's like a lot. Yeah, yeah, so favors.

00:34:18
Speaker 2: Given that favors is it sends people out to the outside world. We tend not to do them that often for adults, but for kids, if you do. What do you think about this, Sarah?

00:34:27
Speaker 1: I hate them.

00:34:27
Speaker 3: I wish we could just make a rule that you don't do it. I mean, I will say they're useful for really little kids, for providing an endpoint that's not just them screaming because they have to leave a party. I feel like that's kind of like their one purpose. But I wish people could be more like a minimal about them. I mean, I do think you the best ones are like something very consumable, like a cookie or I don't know, like a thing of bath jab with a ribbon around it, if it was like a girl's part I mean, I don't know something like that, although.

00:34:57
Speaker 1: Paperback book would be good.

00:34:58
Speaker 3: I just like, people go so overblown and so like fifty different plastic pieces that just go everywhere and get thrown out, and it just like makes me sad, just even environmentally. I mean, yes, these parties in general are not like big environmental wins, but like at least everything's being used during the course of a party and enjoyed. Like I don't even think those little bags really like serve much of a part, Like the trade off's not worth it.

00:35:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think, yeah, if there's something that's related to the theme of the party and that the kids will actually use, and I'll just make a pitch here for shifting your party budget somewhat to think of. If you're going to do a favor, maybe do a slightly nicer one, like put a few more dollars into that, or maybe it's like that there's fewer kids coming and so they could all be nicer, and then maybe not do something else in order to shift that over there, because usually, I mean you often don't even have to dom it. So if you go to Target off and has that three dollars section in the front where they have different things, I mean, I wouldn't inflict plato on other parents. But we managed to get like three pack paw patrol plato thing at Target for three dollars, and I could see that being you know, something that's consumable that would be a little bit more I don't know, you throw it out eventually, versus little plastic junk. Or if it was a cooking party, like a rolling pin or something from the cookie cutters from the three dollars section, you know, that could be a reasonable amount.

00:36:24
Speaker 1: We did.

00:36:24
Speaker 2: For Alex's rock climbing party, we did sidewalk chalk because you used chalk with climbing, obviously different form of chalk, but sidewalk chalk packs and rock candy like the little on a stick.

00:36:37
Speaker 1: Those those rock candies that people got those as the theme. That's a good one.

00:36:41
Speaker 3: I mean, that's nobody's gonna worry about that cluttering. Chalk always gets used. Yeah, I think consumable is the key, whether by eating or just by using up in some other fashion.

00:36:52
Speaker 2: Though I have to say I remember now now and them thinking about it. For Sam's Game truck party, we didn't do any favors, and I don't think anyone cared or noticed.

00:37:00
Speaker 1: I guess by the same after a certain age they get.

00:37:03
Speaker 2: To thirteen, people are like, yeah, where's my pizza, where's my where's my video game?

00:37:09
Speaker 3: I have gotten some like monogram towels at swim parties and I'm like, wow, that's like over the top. And then I'm also like, ooh, this is actually how we'll use this.

00:37:17
Speaker 1: How can use it? Sounds great?

00:37:19
Speaker 2: Well, So, speaking of ages of kids, this brings us to our Q and A, which is at what age do children actually start really having parties. So, if our listener has, you know, got a baby here, what should she be prepared for in terms of when it's going to start being expected when she might need to start calling the bouncy house place versus when they don't need to worry about that.

00:37:46
Speaker 3: I think when we're thinking about when is the kid going to care, it's probably around four. I think prior to that you could probably get away with we're doing a special trip, we're doing a special treat. Obviously, when they're one, they have no idea. I'm not saying don't throw those parties. Those parties are so fun for adults, but they're definitely more for the adults and celebrating the milestone of having kept your child alive for a year and surviving as a family. So I think that's worth celebrating and really really fun. But I don't think the kid cares until around four in my experience.

00:38:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say for Henry's party for turning three this year, it was a little late because we weren't all together on his third birthday.

00:38:26
Speaker 1: For starters, we.

00:38:27
Speaker 2: Had my parents come and a family friend who has a daughter the same age as Henry, and they got to play together for a while, and he opened some presents and then they could both play with them together while they were there, and we all hung out, had an early supper, and that was it. I think he will have a real one next year, just because it's they're in preschool often at that age, and so their classmates start doing it too. He's gone to a few this year, four classmates, and they tend to be the older classmates. It's a monastery, so it's like three to five in the same group, but the older kids who are turning four or five, you know, some of them are having parties at various places, and so he's gone to a few and has definitely liked it. So I think next year he will know that his birthday is coming up, and I think he will be more aware of that. I found the interesting thing of when is it acceptable to drop a kid off? Now, obviously it's a three year old that's it was definitely not like he needs an adult.

00:39:24
Speaker 1: With him all the time.

00:39:27
Speaker 2: But you know, my eight year old, I drop off sort of without even thinking about it. I just assume, like if the parents haven't said anything like they require adults supervision, like you would have to put that on the invite.

00:39:37
Speaker 1: For parents to notice.

00:39:39
Speaker 3: Day highly regional. Yeah, so I put on Cameron's ninth birthday party, feel free to drop off, and so many people stayed. Oh interesting, I don't know there there's just yeah, there's different levels of comfort and that's okay.

00:39:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, I personally much.

00:39:56
Speaker 3: Prefer to drop my child off, because I mean, unless it's a that I really want to get to know the parents and like, and there's somewhere for the parents to comfortably sit and chat, like if there's an actual mini parent party going on, actually, then I'm happy to stay. But if it's like crowded around in some tiny room while the kids are doing something like, oh my gosh, please make it clear, so I'll say. I do think it's nice when invitations specify whether that's either an option or because I don't. I also feel like I don't like being like, so can I can I drop off? Like? Better to be explicit, feel free to drop off? This is drop off only. Please stay with your child. We'll have lots of snacks. Like, I think it's better to stay outright. What your policy is going to be?

00:40:37
Speaker 1: Excellent? All right, Well, love of the week. What do we have this week?

00:40:42
Speaker 2: I can go first, so I mentioned that at roots party, we had those little Polaroid cameras. I had different companies make them. Now it's not just Polaroid that had the technology, and they're really cool. Like the actual getting a printed photo right there, it gives you something that's a memory of the party, a tangible memory that is actually cool to have. I mean as opposed to a cheap plastic favor. You know, you have a photo of you and your friends, and many modern children actually do not have a whole lot of printed photos of themselves and their friends, and adults don't either. So if you are having an adult party, you might buy a couple of these. You know, they're not terribly expensive. You can get you can look for sales on them, is what I would say. If you hunt around on Amazon, they're often somebody's running a sale. If you've you know, looking at this over a month period of time, and get a few of them, and get some extra film, and then people can take photos of the party and then you have, you know, something to send guests home with.

00:41:43
Speaker 1: I love it.

00:41:44
Speaker 3: Or you could like decorate a picture frame and then you can take your picture home for a kid's party or something that's awesome. Mine's totally unrelated to this entire topic. And this also sounds like a sponsor, but it's not. We have no relationship with this company but Marriott Bonvoy. So I'm a member, and like, you know, I guess points whatever, but I have to say, like the app is great, like the idea that you can just be somewhere and be like, oh crap, I don't know, I don't actually have a place to stay, and like look on the app and like book it immediately.

00:42:10
Speaker 1: It kind of saved us.

00:42:12
Speaker 3: My husband was took Cameron skiing and like he needed some last minute hotel booking help and it was just super easy. And I was like, huh, this is nice. Like you don't have to talk to a person, you don't have to go to a website, you like, pick your location whatever. Done.

00:42:25
Speaker 2: So wait, So if he took Cameron's skiing and didn't know where he was staying at night.

00:42:30
Speaker 3: Oh, this is a long story not for the podcast, So just leave you all with that. Okay, gosh, he was fine, He was fine. Okay, nothing was wrong. It was just some stuff happened. Some stuff happen it's all good, all right, Well, you know it's it's happened.

00:42:47
Speaker 2: I once had a booking at a hotel that like had a flood or whatever, and you know you have to find somewhere else like these things, these things happen, ye happens, happens.

00:42:56
Speaker 1: All right.

00:42:57
Speaker 2: Well, this has been best of both worlds. We've been talking about all things parties. We will be back next week with more on making work and life fit together.

00:43:06
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.

00:43:07
Speaker 3: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you.

00:43:14
Speaker 2: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best of both Worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on making work and life work together.