World Junior Record to NCAA Glory — Amy Bilquist in Her Own Words

Whisp speaks the voice of women's Hello and welcome to the third episode of Behind
the Blocks. I'm your host, two time Olympian and four time Olympic medalist,
Caitlin Sandino. Be sure to follow us on social media at Caitlin Sandino
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am so excited to be joined today by five time National champ, American record
holder, NC two A record holder, five time International medalist, and twenty
sixteen Olympic Trials finalist, Amy Bill Quest. Amy, thank you for joining
us on behind the Blocks today. Hey, Caitlin, I'm so excited to
be here. Thank you. So thrilled to just touch base, see how
you're doing, how things are moving forward. I mean, obviously an unexpected
twist while preparing for the Olympic Trials. Do you mind sharing that wave of
emotions that you probably felt the last few weeks. Yeah, it's definitely been
an emotional roller coaster. The last couple of weeks. I kind of had
a gut feeling that the postponent was coming, but I think the little optimistic
part of my brain was like, no, it'll be fine, everything will
work out. And then the day the news came out, my phone was
being flooded with pecks and I just kept being like, I'm totally fine,
I'm fine, like kind of saw it coming. And then once I had
like fifteen minutes of downtime. It kind of hit me and I cried a
little bit, just because you know, I put so much into preparation and
was really expecting it all to happen sooner rather than later. So I kind
of felt defeated in that moment. But then I was like, you know
what, we are lucky to have the opportunity for it to be postponed and
not just completely canceled. So it's time to kind of screw my head on,
look at training at differently for a bit, and just keep working towards
that ultimate goal. I love that. I love the positivity and the shift
in mindset. So now how do you direct the new plans, the new
goals, Like what is that process like for you? And what are you
doing to help you get ready for the postponed Olympic trials. Yeah, so
it's a big shift in mentality, you know, and something that's pushed back
an entire year. But I think my biggest thing was I'm unfortunately not going
to be in the water for a little bit, so how can I continue
to get better outside of the water, So trying different forms of cardio and
trying to keep my swimming mentality strong by visualizing my race, and just always
trying to practice positive self talk during this time, because I think it can
be a time where you can easily get down on yourself and feel like giving
up. So I've been really putting the time into making gratitude lists and just
remembering how much I should be thankful for my family's health, my healthortunity to
be able to work out in some form, and I just think that moving
forward, I just have to be kind to myself because I think it's easy
to really get into the mindset of I'm not in the pool, I'm not
going to be fast, instead of you know what, You're doing your best
at this moment, and that's all you can do, and just keep saying
positive and keep trying to get better in new ways. I love that.
I'm so I'm like already feeling inspired so quick into this. I just love
what you're saying about the gratitude list and just being thankful for it you have.
I just think that's so important. Now, was there ever a moment
where you were debating, like should I keep going or is this where I
say so long? Or we like all right, it's pushed back, here
we go a new plan, or was there any hesitation. There was definitely
a chunk of hesitation, and I really have been facing that chunk since December.
I knew I had to get a knee surgery, and when before trials
were supposed to be in June still and I was supposed to be getting a
knee surgery in January, and I was just kind of debating whether or not
I should get back into the sport after that knee surgery, or should I
just call it a career at that point, but I had realized that looking
down the road, like ten twenty thirty years, I would be really disappointed
in myself or not just trying to give it another shot. So when this
postponement happened, I was like, oh, maybe this is a sign that
I should have just stopped. And I just kept going back to the little
girl Amy who wrote on all of her what do you want to be when
you grow up? A professional summer, an Olympic summer? I wrote that
on everything, and I just don't want to disappoint her and I want to
give her the opportunity to chase her dreams. And I think by having a
two week period where I was in my head being like, oh, you're
a retired summer. How do you feel. I just didn't feel like I
had given it that final shot that I deserved and that I've wanted since I
was a little girl. So yes, there was a peer of hesitation just
because of the limits on my body. However, I feel like your mind
can really help you overcome anything, and I've overcome so many injuries that I
was like, you know what, we can do it one more time.
Let's go absolutely And that makes you wonder. I mean, you had an
incredible twenty sixteen Olympic Trials. I mean that was the end of your freshman
year right going into your sophomore year. Yep, if college. So you
go to the Olympic trials in twenty sixteen and you get third in one hundred
meter backstroke, which obviously means you just barely missed the Olympic team, and
you get fourth in the tuner backstroke. Is that keeping you hungry or do
you feel like you have unfinished business? Were you happy with that performance where
you crushed? What was that like knowing you were so close to making your
first Olympic team. Yeah, so I highly don't recommend getting third or fourth,
but it definitely definitely crushed my spirits for a while. But I think
the thing that was hardest for me to process is I knew I could make
that team, Like I had, I put my money on me. I
really thought I had it, and I put everything in that moment, and
you know what, like I was pretty darn close about as close as you
can get. And I think the hardest thing for me to process was everyone
was like, you were so close. No one thought you were going to
be that close, Like you should be happy with that, and that kind
of narrative. In my head, I was like, well, no one
thought I could do it, Like why did I think I could do it
if no one really thought I could? And so I was a little down
on myself. And then I kind of switched that positivity. You know what
I was like in my career, I've kind of always been like an underdog
or slightly overlooked, and you know what, I popped on that scene in
twenty sixteen, and I was like, I'm here, And so I think
that also made me more hungry to like get my hand on the wall and
make that team and just honestly keep believing in myself. Because I believed in
myself at that moment, and I was able to achieve so much, so
immediately it did kind of feel like a failure. But the further I've gotten
away, I'm just really proud of that moment and proud of the that I've
kept swimming and didn't and that didn't let that fail. You're feeling deter me
from the sport, you know, it really made me want to come back
stronger and solidify a spot. Absolutely, and talking about coming back stronger,
I mean more recently, you won Nationals this past summer after just breaking your
hand. Mentally, you must have been feeling pretty pumped up coming off of
the great Nationals. Yeah, I was super excited. I Mean it was
really funny because the day before I broke my hand, I had this great
interview with you on the side of the pool deck and I was like,
you know what, I'm just excited for the meat, like Tomorrow's the hundred
back to be free day, Like that's my bread and butter. And then
broke my hand during that warm up and kind of just felt like a giant
defeat. I was like, why does everything, like why do these moments
keep being taken away from me? That's kind of what I felt, and
you know, I really had to switch up that mindset of Okay, maybe
I didn't have that moment, but why can't I have a greater moment now?
And the whole summer was just kicking all the time, and that was
really mentally challenging. But at the same time, it showed me how much
I really was driven and how much I wanted to get in the water and
even if it was just kicking, I wanted to do that. So m
having that end of the momentum in the summer, it was just it was
just great. It was a cherry on top and really provided me with a
lot of motivation heading into the ISSL season and a lot of confidence. Absolutely.
Now let's let's touch Let's touch on these these injuries a little bit.
I know they're not the most thing to talk about, but I think they're
very relatable because I think you know, well, I know, I get
a lot of questions, how did you keep going during your injuries? And
our sport, even though it's on a context sport that there shoulder injuries,
the knee injuries, they pop up quite often. And you know, you
have a quote that you said, I feel like I have a new injury
pop up every season, how do you mentally overcome that? And what would
be your advice to any you know, younger generation or even currents athletes going
through those injuries right now? What is your advice to press through and just
keep on trucking along. I think for me, as much as injuries have
drained me mentally, sometimes I think it also invigorates my love and passion for
the sport, because when you're injured, you can't always practice all the time,
and I'm like, wow, like I want to be in the pool
so badly right now, and it just reminds me how much I love swimming.
So I think it's channeling that energy into excitement for when you get to
get back in instead of using that energy as oh, like I feel so
bad for myself. I just wish I could swim. This sucks. I'm
really hurting. You know, that mindset isn't going to do anything for anyone.
You know, you're just gonna get stuck in a rut. You're gonna
feel bad for yourself, and every so often it's okay to feel bad for
yourself, but you've got to snap out of that and be like wow,
like This is showing me how much I miss the sport and how much I
love it. What can I do with my limited options right now to make
me better when I get back in the pool. So for me, when
I had my knee surgery, it was just doing all the upper body stuff
I could, so when I got back in the pool, my upper body
wasn't as much of a weakness as it used to be. So I think
it's channeling your passion and drive and to what can I do right now to
make me better when I get back in because I might not be able to
do everything I was able to, but I can still do something, So
let's do those things well wise wise words, I absolutely love it. And
how is your knee doing right now? How is recovery going? Yeah,
it's going really well. Actually, I just passed the three month mark and
we were hoping the four month mark is going to be the golden charm,
but it's been feeling great and I'm I'm just really excited. My surgeon and
my pt are just absolutely amazing, fantastic. We'll sending you will wishes always
as you're continuing to you know, men through this process. Maybe it's a
little bit of a blessing to be at the pool where you can really focus
on that rehab, and like you said, there's other avenues or aspects to
keep building that strength even though you're not in the pool. I would love
to revisit your college days. I am so curious how a young lady from
Indiana ends up in northern California. What was that recruiting process like for you?
And how did you find yourself at CAW. Yeah, so most of
my life I actually grew up in Arizona, but my dad lost his job
between my sophomore and junior year of high school and I remember saying he said,
my mom and I Dad, I'm like, hey, we're going to
move to Indiana. And I was like, who lives in Indiana? Like
do people actually live there? So I moved out there on my sixteenth birthday
and finished my junior senior year there and really did well at Carmel Swim Club,
which opened a lot of collegiate doors for me, which I'm so thankful
for. And my top four were Georgia, USCU of A, and Cal.
And I think Cal ultimately one in my heart because not only did I
fall in love with the team, I fell in love with the academics of
the school, and academics have always been important to me. And I also
figured I probably would never get an opportunity to live in a place like Berkeley
again, so I thought it would be a really exciting experience for the next
four years of my life. So you touched on it real briefly that you
had a successful time while in Indiana. You're an Indiana state record holder,
You're coming off of a really impressive senior year of high school. You had
to call, and you end up having a phenomenal freshman year at CAL.
Was that an easy transition for you or what do you you know, who
do you think for having such a smooth, exceptional freshman year, because you
don't always see that being the case. Yes, So it's it's funny because
my freshman year was anything but smooth. Every day just felt like a constant
struggle, And I remember calling my parents, especially the false semester, like
can you just please come pick me up? I tried, you know,
just please come on come get me. Yeah. So, I but it's
funny because I feel like any time in my career where I've been in a
place that has just pushed me relentlessly and I've just been so uncomfortable is the
points where I've excelled in swimming. So when I first moved to Carmel,
I was super uncomfortable going to a new school, new training program, and
that first season I had I really exploded. And it was kind of the
same thing when I transitioned to cal. Unfortunately, I think at the type
of person that just does really well when I'm super uncomfortable and everything's new.
But I also think that's because everything's new and exciting. It's not so much
of a rut and it's you're not walking in knowing what you're going to be
doing every single day. At that point, everything still fresh and you're trying
new things. But I think transitioning into college was a little bit easier because
I did have that move in high school, so I was able to learn
how to kind of like fend for myself a little bit and make new friends
and join a new team. But I think I was super lucky to have
upperclassmen like free to Osman who really just like and Camille Chang who just took
me under their wings and are like, hey, it'll be okay. This
is kind of how it works here and just taught me the ropes and really
just emphasize I had great leaders like Rachel Acker, who is an amazing student,
amazing student, and she was like, you can be both. You
don't have to just be good at swimming. So I was just really lucky
to have those older role models on the team to kind of guide me in
the right direction. Well, you just touched on it. I was just
so impressed when I learned that you were the scholar athlete for the highest GPA
among all senior female student athletes your senior year. I mean that just blows
me away. And how do you do it? I mean you just said
you had great leaders that motivated you to let you know you could be a
great swimmer and a great academic, you know, learner. But how did
you balance that all? I think that is a question that constantly gets asked
and I get I get asked that and I wasn't even that stellar in the
classroom. How did you do it? I mean, I think for me,
the best piece of advice I got as a freshman is one learn how
you study best, and it might not be how your friends study. So
it's funny a couple of my friends. One of my friends is super outgoing,
loves to be in a room with people and kind of she can talk
and get her work done. And then my other roommate was needed dead silence
locked her door, like was in a cave type of thing, and I
found out that I'm much better if I'm kind of in that like a lone
situation as well. I tried for a little bit trying to study with friends,
and that just wasn't what was working for me. And then the second
piece of advice that I got that really helped was be one hundred and ten
percent present and wherever you are. So if I'm in the middle of swim
practice, I need to be solely focusing on swim, like there's nothing I
can do at that moment in time to make my like scholar self better.
You know, like I'm not going to help myself if I'm in the middle
of the heart set and I'm thinking about, okay, dad should be the
answer to this question on my test. It's like, no, I need
to be present at swim and then when I'm done with swim, go home
and study, put my phone away, don't worry about how practice went,
and just be there for my schoolwork and just really start putting those things in
boxes and giving them all all you have at that moment. And I think
that was the trick that really helped me excel in both the pool and the
classroom. That's incredible. I love those points. And so spot on what
did you major in media studies? Oh? Excellent? And where do you
see yourself after swimming? Is it anything with your media studies? Yeah?
You know, I've really bounced around with completely different career scenarios. To be
honest, I would love to stay in the sports realm in some aspect.
I thought broadcast journalism for a while. However, I went into college wanting
to be a detective, so I kind of still have a love for like
the criminal law. So I was also thinking maybe going to law school.
Short answers, I really don't have a clue. I like a lot of
different things, so I think once my swim crew is over, I really
want to try different things and see what I really want to do. I
love that at the criminal that's amazing. I mean, look at you a
little like undercover cop here. I think I'm as slightly too tall to ever
be undercover. But so let's go back you had this incredible freshman year.
You win pack twelves and the tuner backstroke, he gets third in the hundred
backstroke, and then you go into the NCY Two Ways and throw down what
I think is a very impressive freshman year. How would you describe the NTY
two Ways setting for, you know, the swimmers that had never been there
or looking forward to going there, because this is a pretty unique environment.
Yeah, I would definitely say it's probably the most energy packed meat I've been
to up to that point. It's it's crazy because it feels just like this
giant, glorified duel meet, but just spectators everywhere and it and for me,
I think it was the first time that I was really not swimming for
Amy anymore. I was swimming for the name on my cap. I was
swimming for Kyle, swimming for the girls on the pool deck with me and
just really just feeding off to energy from a giant crowd. And it was
so cool to me. I love the environment of racing and just doing it
for the team, and that was my first opportunity of really being on like
big relays that had a chance of winning a blaze and the chance of setting
American records, So that energy is just for me. It's four days of
just NonStop energy. And I think after nc's is always over, I hibernate
for a week, like you will not see me for a week. I'm
just so tired and sleeping all the time after it. But it's just it's
the most high energy, fun hours of my life, to be honest.
And it's crazy because you work in a season and then you have four days
just to put it all on the line with your team. So it's really
nerve wracking. But if you channel your nerves in the right direction, you
can make that meet really fun. And how would you describe your sophomore,
junior, and senior year. I mean, you become like this clutch relay
summer right, and you're still you're still swimming strong in your individuals, but
I almost feel like you just you just talked about You're about you're a part
of something bigger than yourself, and you're the go to, you know,
leg on those relays. How was that different between your freshman year and then
moving forward to your final three oh, you know, your next three years
at cal Berkeley. Yeah, I think freshman year I was feeling the emotion
of I'm just lucky to be on this relay. You know, I've just
got to swim my mind out right now. These girls are depending on me,
and I think as I moved through the three years, it was less
of those kind of nerves and more like I need to be this for the
team. Like even if I didn't have the individual swim I needed, I
need to let that go and put everything I have for the relay. I
was taught by my age year coach when I was young. He's like,
you should be popping out of the pool after an individual race and make sure
that doesn't look like it hurts, but you should be after a relay.
You should get out of the pool and then you should be crawling. You
should have put everything on the line for that relay. And I think that's
just kind of the mentality I've always functioned with, and it was it was
kind of crazy. I remember I was going my senior year. I split
twenty point eight on the two free relay and I went about twenty one five
or six from a flat start, and it was just like, why are
you almost going a full second faster on a relay? And I was like,
I'm trying my best in both, but there's just this extra component on
a relay that I can just get into this next year and like don't think
about anything else but go, go, go, go go. So yeah,
relays are really fun for me. So you're obviously this huge team swimmer.
How has that been transitioning into the life of a pro swimmer, which
is obviously a lot different now? Yeah, it's been crazy because I think
my senior year of college I got really good at when I wanted to talk
like negatively to myself. In practice, I would look over at the person
next to me to be like, you're doing great, let's do this.
So every time I had a negative thought, kind of outwardly transitioning it to
a positive thought to someone else. You know, it was taking that away
from me and giving positive ativity to someone else. And going into the professional
world, it was a lot more training by myself. So I had to
really find a way to be able to positively talk to myself and not to
get rid of that negative energy by talking to someone else. And I think
for me that's been the biggest transition. It's instead of leading and inspiring other
people, I have to do that inwardly now and do that for myself and
find that within me. And I've been able to do that pretty successfully so
far, which I've been really proud of myself. But yeah, instead of
kind of leading a group and leading a team, it's really having to lead
myself, which I found a different and interesting challenge. You're just I just
absolutely love everything you have to say. I'm just sitting here, I'm like
taking notes, and you're making me a better human being. Something that I
love that you're passionate about is you're driven to break body image stereotypes. Talk
to me a little bit more about that and what first sparked that fire in
you. Yeah, so growing up, I mean I'm a very tall girl,
and I was just consistently tall my whole life and just not really able
to put on weight or muscle when I was little and got teased all the
time for being a stick and stuff like that. And I think a lot
of people think that you can only be teased about being overweight and it doesn't
really go the other way. But I think it really put like a negative
self image view of myself in my own head. I would look in a
mirror and be like this is just not cute, Like this is not what
like a woman or a young girl is supposed to look like. I literally
looked like a stick figure. And then as I approached my first Olympic trials,
I was super excited. I was fourteen years old. I was super
super excited and nervous, and I walk on deck with my coaches and my
dream college at the time. I remember the coach came up to me and
said something along the lines of you look like you just got out of the
Holocaust, and I was. I was just distraught and I couldn't think about
anything else that me my first Olympic trials. All I could think about was
how I looked, and I was fourteen years old, and that should have
never happened. And I think I growing up decided that, you know what,
I don't really care what other people think I look like, or I
don't care how they perceived me. I'm confident in myself. My body has
given me so much and helped me go so far in this sport, and
it's kept me healthy, and I just should be so thankful for it instead
of critiquing it and thinking it should look more like something that it doesn't.
And I think for me, I just didn't want any young girl to ever
feel like how I did at a swim me. You know, I should
be focusing on having fun, going fast times and just celebrating all the training
I've done instead of what I look like and being super conscious about how I
look in a mirror. End. For me, it's just celebrating young woman's
ability to do sports. You know, it's sports make you. The sport
you do makes you look a certain way. You know, swimmers have those
broad shoulders. It's just are blessing and being able to embrace that and be
like, you know what, this is what makes me so good at I
mean, I'm so proud of my shoulders and instead of being like, my
shoulders are so big, like this is not feminine, this is not cute.
So just kind of changing that mindset and trying to spread that message to
young girls, because, especially with social media, there's just so much outside
influence that's telling you that you should look a certain way when you know what,
maybe looking that certain way, all right, that's cool, you're pretty
in that sense, But at the same time, what are you achieving in
your sport? Probably not as much as when you look like when you have
those muscles when you can embrace them and feel confident in that. I think,
to me, that's what beauty is, having the confidence and your body
and being able to celebrate it and embrace it. Absolutely. The confidence,
I just think is so critical and it's usually so lacking from our youth.
You touched on you fourteen year old Amy. I think fourteen year old Amy
would be shocked to know that, you know, present day Amy is now
modeling. I mean, is that something you ever expected to cross your path?
No, definitely didn't. I always thought I was kind of like just
the ugly duckling and like too tall to everything, you know, and I'm
just blessed. Like I still don't think I'm the most beautiful girl in the
world, but I'm excited to share my confidence and how I feel about my
body and how proud I am of it to other people and hopefully that they
can start gaining confidence in themselves. Yeah. So it's more that the confidence
is being beautiful. Being beautiful is the confidence that you share. And you
know, I do think that we're starting to see that image of quote unquote,
you know, strong is sexy. I think that is starting to pick
up a little bit more but people like yourself that are strong advocates for it
and putting it out there and aren't bashful to embrace it and you know the
quote unquote swimmer shoulders, to really embrace it and knowing that these shoulders are
what makes me go and it gives me the success. And I just love
that mission that you're on to spread that. I just think it's so powerful
and if it's something that we can continue to pass on from generations to generations,
I just think the or that that look, that quote unquote model look
is going to be embraced. That there's not one set that defines beauty.
And I just I love that you are vocal about it and a strong advocate
for it. So thank you for you know, on behalf of women and
for you know, people that like to support the younger generation. I just
think that's so admirable that you're you're out there doing that. Another thing that
I love that you're doing is just you your passion for giving back In other
senses. I would love to hear more about this surfing with Nixon for autism.
Can you tell me how you got involved in that and what that experience
was like. Yeah, that was so fun. That was such a fun
day. So they are basically using water as a form of therapy for autistic
children, and a lot of the times it's water is such a sensory experience,
so it can really calm them down and get them to focus on certain
things. And for me, getting in the water at such a young age,
it's always been such a calming place, so I feel like I can
really relate and that's our And they had reached out to me, and I
was super excited because my sister is actually actually a speech language pathologist, so
she works with autistic children all the time, and I was like, Oh
my goodness, I would love to come to the event. Can I please
bring my sister? And it was just such a great experience to be able
to work with the kids, surf with them, so with them a little
bit, and I just really love loved being a part of it and can't
wait to continue with it in the future. And I just think it shows
how swimming and just water in itself is just such an inclusive environment and how
we can really use that to connect with one each with each other and use
it as a safe and calming space. I love. I just got the
goose bumps. There's such an amazing individual. I just love it. Okay,
so this is the fun part. Well, I hope it's all been
fun. But the final question, all are you ready for this one?
The show is called Behind the Blocks? Amy? What are you like behind
the blocks? What is your behind the blocks routine? Like? Very very
serious and I would say calculated. I would say most of the time when
I'm behind the blocks, I have a strict like go through this same slap
my legs seven times, hit my arms, sports like kind of this just
like series emotions. I do that kind of call my nerves, but also
get me super excited. I'm definitely like, hit my arms, hit my
legs, wake up a little bit, and then I put one leg on
the block and I look down and back the number of laps I'm swimming.
So if I'm doing a two hundred long course, I look up the down
four times and in my head, I'm like, that's easy, you can
totally do this. Let's go. So I think for me, it's I'm
very within myself. I'm not listening to music. I'm feeding off the energy
from the crowd, but I'm also telling myself positive things and I'm just like,
let's go. I'm in full gamer mode and just really want to throw
down at that time. I love it again. I just got the chills.
I can like see you so locked in, and I love that.
It's been so interesting for me hearing everybody's kind of superstitions or rituals or you
know that you're so calculated, like you said, I just I love that,
just so locked in. If I was next to you, i'd be
like, oh, I'm scared. But the ice person. We actually had
Beta Nelson on last week and she was talking about, you know how her
behind the blocks was kind of changed from time to time and she starting to
talk to more people and getting to know people, and she specifically brought up
you. It was so it was such a lead in because like she's our
guest next week, and she talked about what a pleasure and it's been to
connect and she specifically highlighted you just being so friendly and getting to know other
athletes out there. So I was proud to know you when she said that.
Yeah, she's so awesome. I remember when she said that. I
remember going into the hundred back with her my senior year, her junior year
at MC double ways and I before the race, I looked over and I
was like, you gotta get to your American record back, like, you
better throw down, you better throw down on this race. And then when
she did, I just like gave her a big hug over the Wayne line.
You know. At that point it was of course I wanted to win,
but I was like, if she's gonna be me, she better go
on American record, And so that was That was a really awesome opportunity to
be with her. Amy, It has been such a true pleasure. You're
so inspiring. I'm constantly rooting for you. I know that you're going to
use this next year to get even stronger and leave your footprint in the swim
community and just keep inspiring and keep pressing on. And just thank you so
much for joining me on behind the blocks today. No, it was so
awesome to be here. Thank you so much for having me. Absolutely conversations
from the world of wooden sports. This is Swiss Sweet, and that's our
show for this week. Thanks again to Amy bell Quest for being my fabulous
guest, and to our sponsors Highlands Earache Drops. Please visit them at Highlands
dot com. Slash ear don't forget to follow and share on social media at
Keitland Sandino and at Whist Sports. I'll be back in two weeks with the
true female swimming icon, Amanda Beard. So until then, thanks for listening
and helping us turn up the volume on women's sports s