Becca’s Message to Bachelor Nation + Life and Love with The Birds Papaya

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Speaker 1: What's up, Bachelor Happy Hour listeners. I'm back again this week, riding solo. Michelle is still taking some time off and focusing on herself and hopefully doing some self care after all of the craziness that has been transpiring these last couple of weeks. So it's just gonna be me today. But I know I asked this last week, please give Michelle some grace, some patience, some support, some kindness, and whenever she is ready to join us back on Happy Hours, she will be welcomed with open arms. But like I said, you just get me today. So I have to say as weird of an episode as it's going to be in the beginning, just to catch y'all up in chit chat for a bit. I do have a very exciting episode planned because we're talking to somebody who I have personally have been wanting to get on this podcast for quite a while. I have followed her on Instagram forever. She's absolutely incredible. She's somebody who is really doing their part to create a better future for the next generation of women. So shortly we will have Sarah Nicole Landry aka the Bird's Papaya joining us, and I can't wait. To hear all about her journey and what led her into the world of body confidence advocacy. But before we get into it with her, like I said, we're gonna chit chat, You're going to listen to my voice for some time, So I apologize in advance, but you know I'm doing my best here and Happy Hour writing solo. One thing that maybe some of you have picked up on social media, if you've been on the Bachelor Happy Hour Instagram page or anywhere else, is it's been a lot this past week in the world of Bachelor Nation and in breakups in general. And I personally saw a lot of trolls on Instagram just demanding information from Michelle and from Nate about if they're going to give any comments or address the entire split, and just wanting details. And like I said last week in this podcast, they need some time. Going through a breakup in general is one of the most difficult things, and it's never easy. If you've gone through a breakup, you know that heartache is one of the worst things to feel. Add on the fact that Michelle and Nate are in the public eye and have to see and hear things on social media and with people reaching out to them. They also are probably dealing with a ton of press inquiries and articles being written about them, And I know from experience when I was going through my last breakup, it was so hard to endure because literally every week I would have outlets and journalists and media platforms reaching out consistently demanding answers, asking for a comment, saying they had some sort of bit of information that they were going to leak and they wanted to hear from me or my friends or family, so they would email me, they would DM me, they would reach out to friends and family, and I can imagine that same thing is happening to Nate and Michelle and their friends and family, and it is a lot to handle, and it's not something either of them probably ever expected to have to deal within their lives. So once again, please give Michelle and Nate some time and some space and some patients to just process this all and stop demanding answers because they're not ready to give it to anyone, and so just back off a little bit. I feel like my mom a bear and my just I don't even know what to say. My mom a bear is just coming out for Michelle right now, and you know all we can do is support them through this time. I don't wish what they're going through on anyone. And so just if you're on social media and want to type out something or ask them questions or think that you deserve answers, you don't, so back off in some happier, more lighthearted news. If you paid attention last week to the podcast when Thomas was on, you'll know that it was his thirtieth birthday and we had a great time over the weekend just celebrating with his friends and family. We love a good themed party, and because he was born in ninety two, I had to go all out and throw him a nineties themed birthday bash, which was an absolute blast. It was like bringing me back to nineteen ninety eight, living like in my jelly shoes with my Dunker Ruse and my three d Doritos. It was so much fun. So if anyone wants to plan a nineties themed birthday, please dam me because I have a ton of snacks and leftover decorations and extra outfits from the nineties, So let me know and I will send them your away because I do not want to keep it all here. Other than that, that's mainly all that's been going on in this world. Hopefully next week Michelle will be back again. I don't know. I just really want to give her some time in space to heal, and whenever she's ready, we are here with open arms. But in the meantime, I think we should just bring on our guests because she's somebody I'm so excited for. She is not only a mom, but a huge, huge advocate for body confidence. She's a speaker, a writer, an occasional model, and she's even host of her own podcast called The Papaya Podcast. So please everyone, welcome Sarah Nicole Landry aka the Bird's Papaya. All right, Sarah, welcome to Bauch her Happy Hour. It is so great to finally meet you, and I have to disclose that you are somebody I have been dying to have on the podcast for quite some time. No wait, this is like a career high for me right now, Like I'm so happy to be here. It's a career high for me. So just to catch everyone up, how are you? I am good. I have switched up my life schedule and I feel like a happy human in the last two days because I actually podcasting with somebody who was like, if you don't schedule yourself care, you won't do it. So I'm sort of trying to schedule something in the beginning of the day, and it's so hard for me to like roll myself out of bed, like I just like to lay in bed and play wordle and then like scroll every news story for an hour and a half. And I was like, if I treat me getting up and doing a workout or doing whatever I need to do, like I need to catch a flight, I would treat it so much differently. And I'm always catching flights for work, So what if I did that? And it's the last two days. It's been two days, and I'm so proud of myself that for two days I've been like, you have a flight to catch, and I get up and I've been doing my thing, and it makes me very happy and I feel like I'm in a very good mood because of it. I love that I also can admit that I'm I've struggle in the mornings, you know, I'm kind of like you or I just want to lay in bed and like online shop. And so lately I've told Thomas, I'm like, make sure when my alarm goes off, I can't press news, like I just got to get up and go, and so it's just me. Yeah, it's just it's such a good start to your day. So it's a big accomplishment, congratulation, thank you so much. And it's the first time I genuinely am approaching exercise as not a means to alter my form, but it means to alter my mind. Does that make sense? Like I'm just genuine like, if it doesn't feel good mentally, I don't want to do it anymore. So it's just been nice to be like, this is for you, this is your moment, have some time, and it's just it's just putting me in the best state of work and mood that I've been in for Like, I mean, out of the last three days, my last tunings have been amazing. So I attributed all to this do change. I love that. What kind of workouts do you like? What do you gravitate towards? So there's this one woman on Instagram that I found called Lauren Level, and she does like these amazing just like bar classes and stretches, So I do her like on leisure when I want to. And then I love a twenty minute Cody words by Peloton Ride. Oh I don't work, but like incredible on just like today, he was like, We're going to ride these hills like they are your titties. We are going to do this speka like they are the mounds of the breast. And I was like, I don't know where did he come from? I love it so much. He is a true gem of a human. I have never met him, but I like what you said, where does he come up with this? Like the shit that he says to motivate people. I'm like, this is so wild, but it's so wonderful and so motivating. He I will watch his videos and I won't even work out. I'll just watch yeah now, yeah, if you got it all over the place, They're like motivational speeches. I've slid into his DM so many times yet I've not gotten a response, but I just constantly need to tell him how amazing he is so that one day he'll open it up and one probably block me, and two just like genuinely feel like, Wow, I'm actually making them back in this world. If he doesn't know already. My favorite thing that he's ever said during the workout is he's like, you are not I don't never know what he said. He's relating somebody to like a chili's entrain. He's like, you are not a You are this sizzling chicken fahita that as you walk by, you smell great, you look great, and everyone whips their heads to look at you. And I actually said that to my fiance and just like the clip of him saying that, I know every time I'm like feeling down, he's like, you are a sizzling chicken fahita platter, like thank you, thank you so much, but we need. That's what we need. And this podcast is turning into the Cody Riggsby I love it, just kidding. So I want to get into all that you are doing because you are absolutely incredible. I have followed you for so long and I feel like I have so many freaking questions and I feel like I'm going to go off on a thousand tangents, so I apologize in advance. But everything that you're doing is so inspiring. So also kind of like Cody Rigsby, so motivational, not even for young women, but just women in general. So since you inspire all of us so much at least me on a daily basis. I want to know who or what truly inspires you. I feel like it changes all the time. I think at one point in my life, I really realize that we know there's no such thing as original thoughts. So everything we think is something we've picked up along the way. It's something that we've gravitated to, and it's something we've absorbed and taken on as our own, Like our original words were the words that our mothers say, which has always made me a really intentional thinker, as opposed to like when I speak around my children like you're the first language that I learned, So I can never really pinpoint it to like one person or one inspirational thing. I feel like my entire life is a culmination of just inspiring people that I've paid attention to and a lot of times getting it wrong. But also like ending up in a place where I feel like I am hopefully a collection of some incredible women who have led incredible conversations with me and with other people on social media whatever that have now somewhat become the baseline of my own thoughts, which I think is so what is so beautiful about social media? I want to take it back just a bit, just so our listeners can actually know and understand you a bit more and what exactly the bird's papaya is. So just give all of our listeners a background, and then I obviously want to get into way more of everything that you said. So I actually the birth papaya was birthed at a time that I had moved far away from my family with my ex husband for a job that he had. So I was a stay at home mom in this new city that I knew nobody, and I had this like broken laptop and this dream of I don't know, finding connection. And it was at a time of like the birth of blogging, and I remember finding mommy bloggers and it was like the first time I didn't feel alone in doing everyday task, whether it was like making meals or decorating or home and at the time, that's what blogging was. And I just I felt so good when I had a I was twenty three at the time and I had a toddler and I had a baby in this new town and young and married and really just looking for a place to connect. It was a very lonely time for me, and so I like googled how to code my own blog, and I started blogging, and it was probably could win awards for being one of the worst blogs. It was so bad, but that's like where I got my start. And I love when people I love them were so bad at something, because then you know that's the beginning, Like we all have to do video now, and I'm like, this is going to be so bad, but this is great because this is like the ground floor. I know what it's like to work from the ground floor of like googling how to make a blog and just going after it. So I spent almost a decade sort of spinning my tires in this creative space and never really getting anywhere. But I loved it so much because I just loved I loved finding connection with other people. And I also just loved I'm a talker. It's been on every report card in my whole life that I talked too much, and it just felt really nice to be able to have a space that was my own to talk and share from. And then we moved. I had a third child I'm now post part of my three kids at twenty five. I moved home to my hometown at twenty eight and at that time, I just suddenly I struggled with my weight my whole life. I'd always been the biggest girl in my class and growing up, and I was very used to relying on my personality to get through friendships and being around other people. I'm very much used to being the butt of the joke and like making the butt of the joke to sort of like claim that ownership over when I knew everyone was staying behind my back anyways. And so when I moved home to my hometown, I was a lot. I had gained a lot of weight through just like being so isolated, living far away and having three kids and the natural flow of like your body changing. But I didn't have any positive messages around that. I had a lot of negative ones, and I was so determined if I was going to be back in my hometown. It actually, actually, truthfully, it started because somebody tagged me in a photo on Facebook where I was at a baby shower, and it broke me. And as I went on to lose weight by without any help from a professional or nutritionists or any proper guidance, just downloading an app and definitely not eating an app, and way over exercising the headline was really bad Facebook photo encourages woman to lose one hundred pounds, And at the same time, showing up online with a weight loss story was like my ticket into everything I ever wanted. And not only did people treat me differently, but I was given this pass into like a following, a career making money based on changing myself constantly. And that was a really exciting time, especially after like ten years of sort of like grinding through. I suddenly had this mass following of people really excited for me that I lost weight. The reality was, as I went down this line, the pressure to constantly change, to get smaller, to get prettier, to get thinner, to get you more and more quote unquote healthy, was actually killing my body and killing my spirit. And you know, this restrictive lifestyle was restricting me from every angle. And I was also going through a divorce, and so I was now thirty years old in the most oppressed state I've ever been in, living at my parents' house with my three kids and going through all of this, and all anybody looked at me and said was, oh, my gosh, congratulations, you look so good. And all I could think was, if only you knew I'm in like not only that my health was declining, I actually lost the feeling of my legs. I never got formally diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I had to face the reality that I definitely had one, and I was terrified to eat without constantly exercising to erase it, to kind of exist in the world, to be around people, to grow assize anything. And so I remember there were some people on social media that had very similar stories. There was actually a lot of people who seemed to have lost weight and now they were like, ah, that didn't actually solve all my life problems. And I found I used to hate these accounts. I used to just see them and be like, no, that's like so unmotivational, like why would you even put that out and into the world. And then I found them being like this warm blanket of security that I needed during the darkest time of my life. And the more I started to show up as myself without the conditions, without the editing, without the constant need to be smaller and quote unquote better, I found myself really actually truly showing up in my world more and more and more, and there were some viral moments along the way, like the first time my stretch marks were shown and it went viral, and at the time, this is like four years ago, nobody had done this before that I had ever seen. So there was just a lot of these moments where I just realized, all this time, I've been seeking connection by becoming something, by being this mold that I thought I needed to be in order to be accepted by other people. It's almost like growing up and like waiting for party invitations, Like you just want to be invited to the party so bad, so you need to become that person that gets invited to the party, only to turn around and go, I actually don't like this party. I don't even like the people in this room, Like I don't like being here. I think I'm going to start my own party. And everything shifted for me. I lost a lot of the original followers, and then I gained two million new ones. So it was like what I thought was going to tank me turned into my greatest success story, which was how do I show up in my life right now as I am, no matter how that is and how that changes, and trust me, I've been challenged by that in the last two years. In postpartument pregnancy that was complicated, and now I just want to show up and continue to be just a vulnerable self. But I'm also dancing with the understanding of humanity and how shame works, and sort of working towards dismantling my own like fat phobia, my own like standards for myself, my own shame, my own issues, and doing it in a journalistic way on social media. And that's essentially what I've done over the last four or five years, which is in a bumpy but beautiful ride. I mean, I have to commend you are You are so fun to follow because it's so real and it's so raw, and like for anyone watching you, it's like I feel like, speaking for myself, I can relate, and I'm sure most people men and women have gone through different struggles like that, And you're such a catalyst to like actually put it out in the universe to have people feel like, you know, I'm not alone in this. Why is body confidence advocacy is so important in today's world, especially from somebody who has such a big platform and who has children that she's trying to raise to probably just be the best versions of themselves one day. Why is it so important. My biggest why is comes a lot around. I cry every time I talk about this. It's okay, I'm okay, brief everybody. I had three kids by the time I was twenty five, and I was so ashamed of my body that I just didn't show up in their childhood. There was so many times they'd asked to do things that I would say no. There was times it would get in the pool and I would just sit on the sides. And now I have this baby. My kids are now teenagers and I have this new baby and I look at her and I go, oh, my gosh, I've missed so much with them, and I've missed so much with like even my husband, my now husband. The first years of our relationship, I like wore a full outfit in bed, like I just had so much that I robbed myself, like my own joy, my own intimacy, my own pleasure and happiness. I robbed myself because I sidelined myself based on what somebody else might think, that I've decided that they think of me, or that they judge me for. And now I look, I look at this little girl, and I look at this soft timmy. She gave me and I thought like no, like I'm not doing this again, and I have to show up and I have to keep showing up and I have to be here because I get it now as I watched my daughter who's sixteen, and I look at our and I don't get that back, like I only you only get I know they always say those lines you only get eighteen summers, But like how true that is? Like I think we just act like everything like it's fine, like if I'll go on the vacation when I look like this, or when I'm here, or I'll go do this thing when when when? And we hinge our life on what we look like, and we hinge our experiences based on meeting goals, which goals aren't a bad thing, but you can't not live while you wait to meet them. And so my why remains deeply in regret of a loss of experience and awareness of that we really just like remember the tooth isn't like late two thousands when everyone said yolo, but like, truly we only get one shot. Nobody else is gonna everyone's gonna forget you in like a little bit. But like the people who love you like they want you here, They don't. Actually, they might know what you look like, but they don't care. With my kids have never that our relationship hasn't changed based on my weight. My husband and I our relationship hasn't changed based on our weight. And I realize that's not everybody's story, but that is truly a story that is possible and beautiful. So I just fight to not sideline myself and it is very hard some days and it takes. And I won't be the kind of person that goes just wear the bikini and go do the thing. If you need to wear like a long sleeve shirt and jeans to the beach, I don't care. Are you there? Like? That's the point I think at the end of the day, is like how can we show up even in the roughest, toughest of days, because there's a lot happening and I don't want to miss it based on my fears of what other people think and say. I love how you just asked like are you there? Are you present? Are you enjoying what life has to offer in that moment? And I'm sure anybody can relate to having those moments where they stepped out of something that they wanted to do. And said no because they didn't feel okay or presentable or whatever it might be. I don't even want to say confident, but just feel like themselves in their own body. Yeah. One thing, So I came across one of your posts that actually I think YAHOO wrote an article about which I loved. Is you so many people asked you, I'm sure on your blog and on Instagram, you know, like you're so confident. How do you feel so confident all about that one word? And you change it and you're like, it's not confidence, I just am coming home or it's that type of thing. Can you get into more about that and explain that thought process. Yeah, my friend Ariel a story I just did this incredible voice thing where she also sentimented the same thing that I've written about, where it's like people are always like I just want to like get my body back, or I just want to like find myself, like you didn't go anywhere you've been here this whole time. Like it is not about going in, finding yourself out in the world or finding yourself through these things. It's coming home to yourself. All of us, I think, are inherently like when I go back into the roots of who I am and what I fought to become. It wasn't fighting to become anything, It was returning to who I was, almost a childlike version of myself. Like who I was then is very much the essence of who I am now. This like old girl who loved stages, who love to talk, who love to share, who wanted to do all these things. And I think we shush that person over time, we slowly but surely shush her because we've just taken in. As much as we taken these and sponge these positive things, we also sponge negative stuff and it starts to form and shape us in new ways. And I think so many of us are just like searching for like where am I? And how to in this imposter syndrome of like where do I fit? And where do I go? And I think the more we realize that like a lot of us struggle on like how to get dressed every day, a lot of us struggle on like do they like me? And they struggle in am I worthy? In my job? Am I allowed to do this? The more we realize that a lot of us are having these thoughts and it's actually just those who are choosing to continue to step forward who are getting more is sort of a very eye opening thing, and I think is what continues to drive me personally is just like really coming home to the essence of who I've always been and kind of shushing out the other side, shushing out the people who have a lot more to say, because they're always going to have something to say. I'm learning this so much, lady, Oh, I feel you. I mean, I've only been in the public eye for a couple of years, but I've learned like, You're never going to please everybody. You could do the best thing on the planet, and we will still have haters. You will still have people trying to drag you down. And I love listening to you speak, and I just love all of your posts that I've been reading and even your captions on Instagram. And somebody wrote in to one of your posts, and I think like the sentiment just entails it so well as they said, you are a wordsmith and a warrior. Do you ever feel like you know, because you are on this public platform and you do have so many followers watching along, I'm sure, I mean, you have to know you are inspiring to so many people, But do you ever feel like that pressure of like trying to keep that up as well. Oh, I'm like the biggest people pleaser, and I think I also often forget, like I've been doing this for so long, so when you start like sharing about your life, it just becomes an extension of you. I didn't like suddenly fall into this. I've been doing this for fourteen years, so I think sometimes it sort of like wakes me up to like, oh, when I say something randomly in my stories, I have to be braced for a lot of people to have a thought back, Like it is a lot to take in a lot of people's opinions. But I'll give an example. I'm such a huge advocate of everyone choosing for themselves. And even though I work in the arenas of like self love, I also am like work in the arena of like if you want to fully go do like an entire body makeover, like, do not expect me to boobooing on the sides, like I will be there, like with bandages if you meet them, like, I am not here to judge anybody else's for their choices. But yeah, I wasn't giving myself that same grace and opportunity, and a few months back, I very privately went and got botox in my jaw and it was helping astronomically with my headaches and migraines. And yet people were always assimulated, do you get botox? Do you get botox? And I was like yeah, but then I was like stuttering and like feeling ashamed that I was like saying yes, But I'm like I would literally not care if anybody was doing this for cosmetic reasons or for migraines or anything, like why am I feeling so much shame? And the shame took over so much or the like the fear of disappointing people, to the point that I didn't rebook an appointment. And then I landed in the hospital on my daughter's sixteenth birthday with a migraine and my husband was like, You've got to go back and get this done, and I'm like, I just I hate having to answer this question by people. And today I very much was like very vocal of like I can't keep disappointing myself at the like out of fear of disappointing other people. And that's really hard to do when you have a job, and a lot of people have jobs like this where you come into a performance review every single day, people will tell you what they think of you every moment of the day, and you have to come to grips with like what parts of these are real and things that I care to hear about, and what parts are things that I need to really quickly let go of. But being a people please are in navigating social media, it is very hard and it is an ongoing work to sort of push through those kinds of I know, you know, but like it is, people will judge from the sidelines, from shoes they have never walked in, and that's a hard thing to deal with for sure. I ran just talking to right now. I feel like you're inspiring me to think differently too, because I at times am like you were all you know, it's like, yes, I'm doing something, but and I'm trying to like explain it away or give a reason, and when in reality we don't have to do that, right, Like, it's really no one else's business in anything, And so I feel like I'm going to try to be better about that. If I feel like I need to defend myself or defend why I'm doing something or whatever it would be, you know, like yeah, I think because we're like always, we're gifting so much of ourselves and to know, like what and I love that, Like I genuinely love sharing, but I also love having good mental health and like drawing the line in the sand when I need to. And I think I also just have to come back to like why am I holding back and my holding back because I'm ashamed or my holding back at a fear of judgment, And those are two very different things, right, Like, if I actually own my choices and own my decisions, then I should be free to share them, even with judgment. But if I'm feeling ashamed, that's something I have to work on. And I have to look at the roots of why I'm feeling shame, because for me, my worst self esteem issues meant health issues stem from pockets of shame that we have, and that's where I'm like, we need to work on some things to figure out why we're feeling this. I feel like your kids hit the jackpot with you as a mother, and motherhood is such an important part of who you are and overall branding. I want to know overall that you've experienced in the past sixteen years with your children, what has been one of the best parts of being a mother and one of the hardest. I think one of the best parts is like from the womb, they are who they are and you're just sort of like jumping in to guide them. And I think a lot of times we think like the way, sure, the way we parent them might structurally change things, but like who they are is who they are. Like just I've seen it so much with my kids, Like who the way they behaved in the womb like actually translated to their personalities. And that's like one of my favorite things is like truly the honor of sort of sitting in the passenger seat of somebody else's ride. And I also I didn't connect with a lot of other moms and mom groups and like mom blogs in that way, Like I liked that there was other people doing what I was doing, but I didn't really want to talk about my kids all the time. What I love about parenthood and like my own motherhood is that it is like it's your own choice, Like they're my own spawn, Like I kind of get to write this map a little bit. I actually get to enjoy the parts that I do the most, and I don't have to do I don't have to be like mother Goose Martha Steward of parents, Like I can be whatever kind I want to be. And I'm so glad that I've leaned into what is the most fun and what I'm really good at and not trying to be this version of a mom that I'm just not. And I would say the hardest part is the fact that it is like having four heartbeats walking outside of you that you have zero control over. You know the Finding Nemo movie where he like constantly is protecting Nemo. And every year when the kids are about to start school, I watch Finding Nemo, and I watch the entirety the movie for one single line, and that's when Dory says to Marlon, if you don't let anything happen to him, nothing will ever happen for him. And then it always cluds me and like, my job isn't to just protect them. My job is to actually teach them how to navigate this world. And I think that like brings me into like a whole other mental space when I'm like, it is not my job to like keep you at home and keep you sheltered, It's to teach you how to go out and be in this world and it's the hardest part and it's the best part all in one. Oh my gosh, I you just listen off all these things. It's already I don't even have a baby yet. I don't even have a child, and I feel like I already am going to think that way. I just know me, I know how I operate, and every like my mom tells me every day, like you have to let go of control. You have to just want to be like, you know, you just have to take it day by day and go with motherhood whatever strown at you. And I'm like, but I'm gonna be so anxious, you know. So I think that's beautiful that you even say that, just to know, like moms and dad's parents probably feel that on a daily basis, and it probably won't ever go away. You just got to do your best to navigate through. And moms with mental health like anxiety can still be incredible mothers. I think a lot of people feel like they're exempt or that they will never be able to qualify for parenthood because they struggle with mental health or that they struggle with anxiety. I can tell you firsthand, growing up in an environment where my mom struggled with anxiety and depression. Made me more empathetic, made me more understanding, made me, I think, a better person. So I think to anybody listening who's like I could never deal with that anxiety, you can. And it'll actually shape your children into being very beautiful people because of it, because they will also feel safe and supported to struggle as well, so that you can kind of lean in on each other. Okay, So I also want to ask you this because more people around me, a lot of my friends an sister, are having babies, and so what is some advice you would give to mothers to still feel sexy or to still feel like themselves while going through a pregnancy, a birth and just raising children. Now, I think for me, it comes down to stop trying to like reach back into who you were and instead figure out how to move forward. So instead of bouncing back, bounce forward and also like honor and like own what magnificent things you've done, and don't just make it in the way that like, oh, my body is carrying life now, so now it's like a valuable thing knowing your body has always carried life and now it's carrying more like honor. The hell out of it, through every stage, even afterwards when it's no longer being celebrated and the doors aren't opening for you everywhere anymore because you're no longer pregnant. It takes a grieving process to go through that, and grief in the way of when we go through change, you have to acknowledge it. You can't just like try and race it. If you face it and you understand it, and you say, like, I missed who I was before, to give room for who you're becoming, to find your sexuality again, to find who you are again, to like own the like powerhouse that you are as you've become that instead of feeling like society teaches us that we become less and less and less valuable the more like everyone wants you to have a baby, until you have a baby, and then they're like, can you just like make that look like it didn't happen, Like can you just make that go away? And like what if your husband doesn't want to have sex with you anymore? Like forget all of that, Like if you own how magnificent you are. And this is something I've worked on mentally, because I went from saying all of these things and then hiding in the closet to change after I gave birth, and my husband's like, what are you doing? Like I don't understand, and I was like, I'm just struggling because after this baby, I've had like an overhanging stomach. And he's just like, yeah, it's like a kangaroo pouch. It's like science, it's like how skin works. Like, what are you doing? I want you here? And I was just struggling so much. I had to grief and if I kept trying to hide and feel shame and put myself away, I wasn't going to be able to get to where I am now, which is like boning in the shower in the morning. It's great, figured out, we got back. We got back there. Oh I love that. I mean, I if a way I ever do decide to get pregnu or have babies, I'm calling you up and we're just get a chat. And oh my gosh. I love that well. And it sounds like you have such a supportive partner too, and I think that's a huge part of your life. And it's just it's nice so you have him as a support system to be like, I still want to do this life with you. Don't hold up and shell up, and you know, wait till you feel better one day, Like I still want to experience all of the ups and downs with you. Yeah. I wrote this whole post because when I met him, I was actually at my thinnest, and so I wrote this and I'll just read it quickly, but it says I'm fifty pounds heavier than when we met. And I think about that sometimes when the dobt creeps in, and when I feel unlovable for simply changing. But then I remember the journey we've been on. I remember that this change is actually a beautiful one. It's first dates, it's second dates, it's the thousands of them more. It's the travel, the taste of it, the laughing till we're sore. It's cocktails on a Friday, curling up on a Sunday. It's sickness overworking, joy and healing. It's having a baby together, woven inside my body. It's fifty pounds of what's made our family. So when I think about it in the doubt creeps in, I ask myself, what would you rather have this life or be thin? And I smile at him and I look at our life. It's not even a question. I would do it all again. Oh God, Okay, tears and chills right now. I just have such a heart for like women going through change in the way that we like erase ourselves and sideline ourselves from our partners and our experiences. So like that's my heart today, and like I feel like I'm like on a tangent, but like it's oh yeah, I love that. I mean even from my experience, like meeting Thomas in the past year, I I definitely and there are days where I'll get done because like, oh, Thomas Sawyer, I was cooking together and eating and drinking and like just enjoying life. Yes, but I and some days I'll wake up and I'll be like I just feel lethargic, and like I gained weight since we started dating, and I want to go back to like when we met on Paradise saw the things, and He's like, you're beautiful, And I think about this past year has been the best year I've ever experienced in my life. Like there's been so many moments where we've been able lucky enough to indulge with each other and just partake in all that life has to offer. And I'm like I would. I wouldn't change that, you know, like there days where I get down, but I would do it all over again. And I hope I can still keep doing this for the next fifty sixty years. Yes, because it's so special in that post, I honestly want to print that off and just at the top of my Instagram right now. But like to your sentiment, I wish more women shared stories like this because we when we look at the most joyous times in our lives, it's usually in an in a time of gain. And that's a gain across the board. It's a gain on your body, and it's a gain in your health, and it's a gain and your joy. It is a game across the board. And I think the more we share stories like that, we allow more ebbing and flowing up and down across whatever it is, and really allow space for that. So thank you for joining that, because that's like, oh, like, I just think that that's like the message that we need to hear more and more and more because we're we've so been conditioned to see a before and after photo and the first one she's so sad, and the second one she's so happy, and that like relates it to like an inner joy, and that's not always the case. Like, wouldn't it be so cool to see before and afters of like people genuinely like this has been the best year of my life and like look what I've gained, Like that's so cool. I love the way that things are changing. I love that. Before we get into that game, though, I feel like we haven't even really talked about your podcast, but the Birds probably cover so many topics. What is one of your favorite episodes that you've ever done, or who has been one of your favorite guests on that Okay, favorite guest. I've had them on twice and it's been so good both times. As JABN like Japan was like, write down your absolute favorite person that you would ever like to have on your podcast, and I wrote it down in year one and then in year three. Have now had them on twice and just like a genuine human that's just so open to sharing with the world and has like, I don't know, just like one of the best people. I love being in podcasts with them. One of my favorite things about podcasting is it's like the ultimate experience of like putting your phone down and having a conversation and I could talk to anybody about anything for hours, so I don't really plan them, I don't structure them. I sit down and I ask really curious questions for like half an hour. And it's called the Papaya Podcast because I couldn't think of anything else because it was an adorable little nickname, and then it kind of stuck. So it's the Papaya Podcast. It comes out every Monday, and we've been going strong for three years. It's like it was like this, this like side gig I was doing that now has become such a huge part of my world and I love it so so much. It's such a good outlet. I mean I've said this on our podcast before and Happy Hour that yes, it's technically I'm getting paid and it's a job, quote unquote a job, but it doesn't feel like that. It's just such a fun experience where you can just go, I'll hold up in my happy place, I love my coffee. I'll just sit and talk to incredible people like you. It's just it's such a joy and something I never thought I would be able to do and have conversations that I never thought I would and so it's I mean, I just feel so grateful for this opportunity and so happy that you joined us today. Okay, I'd be remiss if I didn't ask you this, since it is botched our happy hour. Are you a fan of the show. Have you watched it before? Oh? Yes, I watched it a lot, and I have slowly crept my way into Bachelor Nation because of Caitlin. I was on her podcast like three years ago and was like, man, I'd love to be friends as hard and now we are friends. I love that, And she's just been like she's connected me with a bunch of people. But like, Bachination is such a special little place. But I love the show. I mostly love watching the show to sit with my husband and have him like be so frusty. He's like, I don't care about the show, and then he's so opinionated about it. I have watched for years and years, and I get so caught up in all of it. I loved the I only watched Paradise for the first time on your season, Like that was the first Paradise I ever watched, So I'm hooked on that now. I might love it even more. Do I do? I have things that I would like love to come in and change about the show. Yes, but I also like, I'm so done with having guilty pleasures. It's a pure pleasure for me. I genuinely enjoy it. I love that my only reality show. Usually I'll ask our guests at the beginning, but we've had such a good conversation, Like I gotta as if she's even a fan, but I love of thoughts. How do you well? So I want to ask you, how do you feel about the upcoming season with two baturretts. I just need clarification, Like I just need to know what you and all of the world. Yeah, I'm interested to see how it's going to work out. I do love that it's showcasing what it would look like because this entire thing I always am like, are they following love? Are they just in competition? Because that can be confusing. So I think this is really neat that we have two people that genuinely were in competition but also allowed to set that aside to be each other's friend. And I think that there's times in our lives that that truly happens. So to watch that, like if you think about you and a friend going for the same job, or like just even a fellow woman doesn't even have to be a friend or like getting an opportunity that you had really hoped for. It takes a lot, especially as women, especially knowing that, like statistically there's really only one spot for women at a table of six men, we inherently will be competitive. So the notion that we brought two people to I'm now part of it all. The show has now taken two women that were in competition and put them into supportive role for each other. Like love it. I can't wait. Oh man, I'm gonna have to be DMan. You in the middle of this. What are your thoughts? I'll maybe we'll have you back on the podcast again. I would love to. Yeah, no, I love this kind of chat. Um. Okay, Miss Sarah. We are going to play a quick game that would do with all of our guests. So this is basically rapid fire, but it's just giving all of our listeners an opportunity to learn more about you and partially getting your advice. So I'll just ask you a question and first thing that comes to mind, easy enough, okay, So what is the favorite way that you treat yourself? S gtt care get care. I love that kind of the beginning and end of the day. It's the book ends. So if I can get that and it's only five minutes, it's enough. So it's scare I love it. I love how fast that was too. What is your favorite thing to do with your family? Anything that's like group activity related, even if it's like just going to the movie or going to an arcade. I love when their energy levels like up. And also, like Mario Kart, We're a big look Mario Kart family, and I'm so down for that. You don't even know. Thomas found his Mario Mario Kart in the garage a couple of weeks ago, and every night now I just hear this theme song going and I'm so over it. I'm like, if I have to hear this Mario Kart theme song music one more time, So anytime you're in southern California, let me know, come over listen. I have an actual league back. I love this. I love this. Yeah, I'm terrible at it. I'm so bad at it. I oh, I'm also very bad. I rely on getting that like rocket that like in third place, like all the time. But I just love it. I don't know. It's like something about like being with family and like competing against you, so it's a healthy, happy competition. What did you want to be when you grew up? Fascinating because I actually thought that I would do something on a stage. But that's like I thought like an actress or a singer. But I actually had really brewed rutle stage fright when it came to acting. And even though my our parents put me through a lot of music school, I have a stage fright that shakes my voice. So I never became a singer and I always felt really lost, Like I thought I was going to be on a stage. I thought I was going to do this thing, which is so cool because if you think about like six year old Sarah thinking she was going to be on a stage one day, the stage of social media didn't exist. The stage to which I would do like public speaking that I do now or even a podcast was not even in the realm of possibility. So the fact that that's like a thing now and the fact that I dreamt of something that didn't exist yet was I think is really cool. Okay, one more question before we do a Rosenthorne, what is your advice for women who want to add a little spice to their lives, any kind of spice, whatever it might be. Oh my god, what is a spice? I hope you just say pepper. So after I finished breastfeeding, so I can't drink alcohol anymore because I really trigger migraines. But I tried like edibles and they're legal here, So we tried edibles. And what I don't think that many women understand is it like elevate sex, like quadruple, Like it is so wild and for us that has like totally changed. Not only that, but like I feel so liberated in my body because it's like so it's so like sensation driven and so that has been like that has been the spice in my life. I love it. Okay, So we have our last part of the podcast, which is Our Rose and Thorn. So basically we ask everyone each week what was your rose, which is like the best moment, the highlight, or the thorn which was the worst, the messiest, worst part of the week. Oh okay, I'm gonna start just to make it easy. The thorn worn this week is kind of a random one. So a couple of weeks ago on the podcast, it was actually right after Thomas and I announced our engagement, and we're giving the whole story of like the day leaving up to the big event, and one of the parts we talked about was that morning we had walked through the farmer's market and found this woman who was there. She was there with the jewelry company, but she randomly just started talking to us and like reading our tarot cards and just kind of like having this whole spiritual media moment. Yeah, So we talked about this, We raved about her, and she ended up getting let go from where she was working because I don't know if it was an issue with her boss or what it was. So I felt terrible when I found this out because she was absolutely incredible. So I was like, I feel terrible if we had any part of her not being able to sell at the farmer's market anymore. So I'm gonna turn the thorn into a rose right now and give a shout out to Shelby because she is absolutely amazing. She said some spot on, just incredible, really crazy stuff to Thomas and I that day before we got engaged about just us in general and about my father. So if anyone wants to check her out, her name is Shelby. Her Instagram handle is at spiritually sitting pretty underscore. We've just gotten the show Shelby some love Okay, Oh I love that. Okay. My thorn this week would be that I broke community guidelines on TikTok and was a little bit banned for a hot second. What did we break? I actually don't know. I was probably just in my underwear too much. It's typical. And my rose this week is going to be that, Oh my gosh, I have so many There's so much good stuff happening right now. I'm trying to just like pick one to be grateful for, you know what, I'm gonna just like throw it to two different things. One that I owned my own needs and I went and got the boatox from my migraine, which was like really causing issues for me. But like two, my kids are all like gradually and they're like finishing school and they're like they're just like doing such amazing things and I'm very excited for that. And another rose is that m so you know Jillian Harris for my friend Laurette As This ties into the show. We just found out we're going on the same Disney cruise together, so we get to hang out that realization was so exciting. And so I've never gotten to like hangout with her family before. We've only ever seen each other at a workstep. So I'm so excited that not only are we like going to get to hang out, but like our families are going to be there. It's coming up so soon. And I'm like, I don't like I'm a Disney cryer, Like even looking at the videos, I just sabbed and solved and sold, Like I can't even go on YouTube about Disney. So I am that was like a really exciting thing to happen this week. I was like, oh my gosh, Ally we're going, but there's like somebody else there that I get to hang out with. I'm just yeah, that is even to be such a blast. Oh my god. I might just have to invite myself. I will carry your luggage, I'll do whatever. Oh my gosh, I absolutely love It's going to be much fun. She's an energizer bunny of a yes, some would say a golden retriever. She is just salt of the earth, amazing and also just such a blast. So I'm really excited to go with her. Yeah, I absolutely love her. Oh my gosh. That is going to be so much fun. And I have to also say this has probably been one of my roses, one of my favorite episodes. And I'm not just saying this because you're here right now. One of the favorite, my most favorite episodes that I've ever recorded. It really is. I really think it's gonna be such a fun listen for everyone and just a real raw conversation. Like I definitely orge everybody to go check you out really quick. For all of our followers, where can they find you? On your blog, Instagram handle all of the things. If you go to the Bird's Papaya on ig that's the wheelhouse. Most people come from my Instagram stories. You might stick around. You're either going to laugh or cry, there's really no in between. Might come and like be a part of Instagram. That's where everything will link to everywhere else. So that's the best place to find me. I'm also on TikTok, but like somebody stole my handles on like the dot birds dot Ohiah. But yeah, you can find me everywhere. You have been incredible. I would love to have you back if you're ever willing. I would love that, especially we talk about bachelor's stuff and bachelorette stuff, no, and I really appreciate that and for everyone listening, Like I spend four hours a day in dms and comments, so like community is like where I'm at, and I I love people coming and joining us there and just like finding different ways to connect and like intersect our lives. So I'm in for it all. Thank you, thank you, Sarah. Well, it was such a pleasure having you. Please stay in touch. Thank you so much. Well that's your happy hour, listeners. That was such a fun episode to record. I hope you enjoyed it. Sarah is such a pleasure, such a gem to talk to. And even though this episode this week wasn't solely focused on the Bachelor, I hope you still took something away or can at least go check her out and see all of the incredible things she's doing because she is just She truly is inspiring. And we have a lot of Bachelor coming up in a few short weeks. We will have the full season to get into. We will get our fix at that point. So it's been fun these past couple of weeks not having to recap a season and getting totally knee deep in boucher and just giving everyone a little bit of a break, but have no fear it will come back very soon. So thank you to Sarah for being here, and thank you to all of our Bachelor Happy Hour listeners. Please make sure to hit us up on social. You can follow us at boucheler happy Hour on Instagram and from there you'll be able to find everything that you need to follow us on both Twitter and TikTok. Boucher Happy Hour is available on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen, and you can always listen ad free by subscribing to Wondering Plus in Apple Podcasts or the Wondering app. Thanks everyone, and we will see you next week. Have a good one.