Pablo's Rhino – Act Three

Three clueless friends and a guy's trip to Columbia accidentally
kill Pablo Escobar's beloved pet Rhino, luring the notorious drug
lord out of hiding after years of being presumed dead.
Now they have just two days to replace it or
face Pablo's wrath.
Ah, it's a cool shit.
Okay, Okay, here we go.
Bablo doesn't just let them off easy. No no, no, no.
He drops them out in the middle of nowhere and
gives them an ultimatum. You have two days to replace
my preciures right now, or I eat your face. The
bottles are crazy, and for extra motivation, he's holding that
Copa Charlie, sweet Little Crush as collateral.
Keeps things interesting.
No victim whimpers, Cartel guy spends the chamber one last
time silence.
Now, with this little delivery, you get them back on
Pablo's good site. Or have they just brought themselves one
step closer to the grave.
Let's listen the deafening click of the trigger followed by
a gun show oops. Act three exterior Columbian Pueblo day.
Dirty street children play outside ramshackle buildings. Hardworking men walk
by pushing wooden carts laden with scraps of metal. Women
hang close out to dry and gab as they pick
through beans for the day's meal. A van pulls up
and tosses Charlie, Marcus, and Sam out before taking off
in a cloud of dust. Everyone on the street stops
with sudden interest. Two seconds later, another van pulls up.
Martinez and Knowles hop out, grab Marcus, Charlie and Sam
and throw black hoods over their heads. Squeals like a girl.
Knowles punches him out and throws them all in the
truck and takes off. Everyone in the street turns back
to what they were doing, as if this were a
common occurrence. Interior scusy hotel room night Noles finishes tying
up Marcus and Sam to a couple of chairs. He
crosses the room and exits through an adjoining door. Marcus
and Sam wriggle and moan through their gags, wondering what
the hell is going on outside. Through the wall, we
can hear some major partying going on, like where it's
some kind of frat house.
Interior adjoining room continuous.
Charlie is tied up in this room, also blindfolded and gagged.
Martinez stands behind him.
All right, they're not going anywhere.
What the fuck is going on out there?
Potus is in country. Some of the Secret Service douches
are on a bender.
Christ again, why don't they use their own safehouse? We
take bullets all the time. That never stops us from
being professionals.
Should I say something?
Let's just get this over with.
Knowles pulls off Charlie's hood.
Tell us what we want to know, and maybe we'll
let you live.
Charlie doesn't understand. What are you doing.
Disguising my voice?
He can't see us, He doesn't even.
Through the walls.
We hear more chanting and some random gunfire, followed by
more cheering.
That's it, how's anyone supposed to work like this?
No let me.
Martinez opens the door to the hall and sticks his
head out.
Hey guys, guys, a little professional courtesy. Some of us
are trying to work in here.
Someone chucks a plastic cup of beer at Martinez's face,
soaking him.
Thank you to Knowles.
We should be good now, All right, Charlie, I'm not
take off the hood, but if you scream, I start
pulling fingernails.
Clear Wait, wouldn't that just make him scream even.
More whyever, he gets the point, Knowles waves him off.
Martinez removes Charlie's gag.
What are you doing in Colombia?
I'm on vacation. Martinez flicks Charlie's ear.
Hey, try it again, what are you doing in Colombia?
No?
No, no, seriously, I'm on vacation. Knowles turns to Martinez
out of ideas.
I got nothing. Guy's a steel trap. I've never tortured
anyone before. Should we boil water and tear some bed sheets?
Only if he's pregnant?
Okay, look, maybe it would help.
Speed things along if you just told me who you
are and what you want.
They exchange a look shrug. It's toward the shot.
On Special Agent Martinez, and this is special Agent Noles
where with the Drug Enforcement Administration.
A wave of relief washes over Charlie.
Oh thank god. Okay, look, my friend and I are
American citizens. You gotta help us. We were kidnapped by
Pablo Escobar. He's still holding one of our friend's hostage.
Hold on.
Pablo Escobar has been dead for ten years.
Suddenly, a secret Service agent bursts in his sucking face
with a prostitute, oblivious of everyone else in the room seriously.
Noles grabs a dry humping couple and guides them through
to the adjoining room, where Marcus and Samar.
Sorry about that, where were we?
Okay, listen, he's not dead. He's been hiding this entire time.
If I don't wear places h nosris in two days,
here's going to eat my family.
Martinez looks over at Noles and nods. Knowles takes out
a photo of Escobar.
Yeah, that sounds like a zimo.
Is this the man you met?
Well he's older now, but yeah, that's him. You're sure, Yes,
that is Pablo Escobar.
Noles and Martinez give each other a solemn nod, then
behind Charlie's to view do a quick happy dance.
The man you met may have been an imposter. Escobar
was known and keep severalbody doubles on hand. That's how
he was rumored to fake his death in the first place.
Well, whoever it was, If I don't give him what
he wants, he is going to kill me and everyone
I know.
Men, you must have really pissed him off to bring
him out of id.
Some intense sex sounds are starting to build in the
next room. Martinez and Noles try to ignore it.
Can't you just go and arrest him? Oh?
Sure, you want to write down as a dress for us,
and we'll get right on it.
Off screen, the sex noises start to intensify.
It. It's starting to really get under Martinez his skin.
They had a bag over my head.
Not so easy, then, is it, smart guy, He's.
Like a Colombian yetti.
No one's ever gotten.
This close to him and lived to tell about it.
We need you to lead us to him like bait.
Oh no, no, no, no, I don't think so.
The off screen orgasm builds to an earth shattering crescendo. Look, Charlie,
you guys are in pauses for the final scream for.
The love of God, finish already.
The secret service officer in the prostitute exit the room,
not even noticing Charlie. Sam and Marcus can be heard
crying in the other room.
We could lock all of you up right now for
money laundering, trafficking, jaywalking, anything we want.
Martinez crosses to get in Charlie's face.
It doesn't even have to be real. This is Columbia.
Son accidents happen all them.
Stubs, his toe, mother, cocksuckers, shit locking, Oh my god,
I think I think.
I broke the nail. Martinez stumbles around the room in
agaty okay? Can we focus? What do you want me
to do?
Carry on like everything is normal normal?
Can't you guys just give me a rhino?
Shit?
But what do we look like?
The animal keeping people?
You believe this guy?
Understand this escobo has eyes everywhere. He has to believe
you are completing his little test.
And what drop by rhino? Martin asks for one rhino
to go?
Should have thought of that before you murdered the man's pet.
And don't tell anyone about this. Meeting Charlie or finding
a rhino will be the least of your worries.
Seriously, that's your plan. Sit back and watch. Oh my god,
you guys are the worst, fucking.
The words you're looking for is civil servant.
Martinez replaces the tape over Charlie's mouth as Knowles brings
down the hood over his head.
Exterior, Columbian Village day.
A truck pulls up and tosses the guys out before
leaving them once again in a cloud of dust. They
get up, slowly, dust themselves off, and without a word,
stumble into interior cantina day. They take a seat at
the bar. The bartender pours them ea to drink like
he was expected them. The canteena is otherwise empty, asigdn
from an old drunk passed out at the other end.
No one speaks for a good long beat till Sam
breaks the silence.
Okay, what the actual thought was that? I think it
was like a wrong number or something. Kidnapped, brought to
an orgy which we don't.
Even get to participate in, then dumped back in the
anus of nowhere.
We still have no clue how.
The moving on perfect.
Kidnapped, brought to an orgy which we don't even get
to participate in, and then dumped back in the anus
of nowhere, where we still have no clue.
How the hell we're supposed to find another rhinoceros in Columbia.
Yes, Charlie, pray, tell, what is this brilliant plan of yours?
Whoa whoa, whoa whoa my plan? Why all of a
sudden is it my plan?
Anyone who didn't promise Pablo Escobar new rhinoceros?
Raise your hand.
Everyone in the bar besides including the past out drunk,
raises their hands.
We're not actually doing that? Are we Uh no.
Okay, are you fucking kidding me? We can't just leave.
We's here with that maniac. Look, none of us would
even be in this mess in the first place if
Marcus didn't bring us down here to be extorted by
drug dealers.
Oh well, excuse me, mister midlife crisis. I'm sorry if
this doesn't live.
Up to your big shot accountant life of excitement.
Wait, I have an idea.
Charlie downs's drink and taps his glass for a top of.
We should have stayed in prison. At least we would
have been safe behind bars. Or not, we should have
stayed home. That way we would be saved.
At whole, A whole life is safe. You wrote eight
books about taking.
Zero rests as opposed to you.
My daddy left me money, so I nevery day they
grow up, Well, why don't we get arrested?
So they just put us.
Back in jail.
Marcus and Charlie both stop and turned to Sam. Sam
your genius? What that is a stupid idea? A better
idea would well, okay, we'll need to commit a crime.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, uh.
Like, what what are you talking about here. Uh, maybe
off a hobo.
Marcus nudges his head in the direction of the drunk
guy at the end of the bar. What no, you morons,
they've stopped listening to him altogether.
Okay, it should be something minor, so they hold us
long enough, but not too long.
I can't I can't do hard time. Maybe just soft
court time.
Right right right, right, right, right right right. Maybe Uh
we could shoplift something small.
Marcus tries in diostreetly to swipe the ashtray off the bar, but.
It's glued down.
Woo.
How about we all whip them out and wait at
the school kids for a good old public in decency charge.
Seriously, guys, I know where we can find.
Oh, I can get plenty in decent Wait is that
even a crime in this country?
Guys? The old drunk at the end of the bar
lifts his head long enough to speak as Meal Myers things,
a lohico, you gotta look at you.
The old drunk slumps his head back down. They look
at the bartender confused.
Oh do we not have a bartender?
Congratulations, you say, why don't you go to the zoo
and Kelly and just think what you want?
Papa Sancho makes a good point.
I'm not gonna let a little thing like a four
ton rhino stand in the way of my dreams.
That's what I was trying to say.
Sam just shakes his head and walks out. Marcus shakes
his head disapprovingly at Charlie.
Really, Charlie, I mean, now you're taking credit for the
old man's ideas.
Too typical.
Marcus walks out, leaving Charlie dumbfounded.
Idiots dissolved to exterior CALLI Zoo Entrance day. The guys
take up different positions around the entrance, trying to appear
in conspicuous. Marcus reads a newspaper, Charlie casually eats in
that banada, while Sam pretends to be a blind shaking
a tin cup.
All looks clear. They each drop what they're holding in
approach the entrance.
A woman walks by, dragging her fat kid, who sloppers
over a huge ice cream cone. A scoop drops from
the kid's cone. The guy's all freeze, unsure what to do.
The kid wails, but the mother just yanks him away harder.
So the guys continue their approach, but the kid breaks
free and goes after the fallen scoop, the guys freeze again,
trying to look in conspicuous. The mother runs back, grabs
her kid by the wrist scolds him to leave the
fallen scoop. Sam, fed up, grabs the fallen scoop off
the sidewalk and slaps it back on the kid's cone.
The mother and kid are momentarily stunned by this. The
kid goes back to licking his cone as his mom
hauls him.
Away quick before the fat LRD tries to leak the sidewalk.
Marcus runs over and laces his hands for Sam to
climb onto.
They fumble and grunt.
To get over the wall, while Charlie walks right on
through the entrance and stares at them from the other side.
Marcus calls out, oblivious.
Charlie, Charlie, I need a hand.
Where the hell he go?
I canal him down. Don't don't let me fall, Don't
be fool.
Charlie pulls on Sam's pant leg and squeals, would you
get down here already?
Sam falls with a hard thud to the ground. Marcus
looks up. Here's Charlie on the other side, confused, how'd.
You Charlie pokes his head out the front gate.
Right, exterior zoo grounds day, Marcus Hurry's in.
Sam dusts himself off.
I could have been killed. You know.
The zoo is.
Run down and the place is empty except for a
couple of grounds keepers off in the distance.
Okay, look, we scope the place out and we gather
as much intel as we can.
Yes, good, so far. We know there's a front gate.
What if someone sees us get on all fours and
bark like a dog?
Right, Charlie punches him in the arm. It's a public zoo, dingus.
You're here to see the animals. Ye, yeah about that.
I'm not seeing any What are you talking about? Of
course there?
Charlie rushes up to one of the pant Maybe they're hiding.
The groundskeeper drives by a motorized push cart. The guy's
swooped down on him, taking him by surprise.
Signor animals where all? WHEREO? Where all? Seriously?
Sam pushes Charlie aside and puts a hand to his
head like it's a horn. He trots around in a circle.
The groundskeeper looks even more confused.
What the fuck are you doing? I'm communicating? You look
like a retarded unicorn.
Oh, you're looking for the animals.
Oh you speak English?
Yeah for sure, why would and I you're too late?
Zoom moved.
The groundskeeper takes out a flyer and hands it to Charlie.
Marcus grabs the flyer.
They moved the zoom. Can they do that? No?
Uuhh no, No, they're supposed to be a rhinoceros. Here
checks his watch, all packed.
Up on the train to the new animal sanctuary in bobaita.
Boatah, that makes no sense. Sam pushes Charlie aside, step byside,
It'll take forever you were waiting.
Sam goes back to his rhino impression. The groundskeeper mind's
driving a truck. This turns into a conversation made up
of weird imitations and sound effects.
Sam he already said he speaks anglersh yeah, but he
speaks idiot which one.
Okay, so it looks like we just missed him.
By Sam turns back to the groundskeeper and does an
imitation of an eagle on the sun. The groundskeeper nods.
Twenty minutes. The truck's just left for the train yards.
That's how they're transporting.
The small ones from there.
The big ones, including one rhinoceros are going by truck
to Bogata.
Fine, except they left twenty minutes ago and we don't
even have a car. Ooh, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Sam looks the groundskeeper up and down. Now he's way
too scrony to pass for a rhinoceros. The three turned
to the groundskeeper, who smiles back. Nice suit. It was
like the exterior Columbia Highway day.
Sam holds onto Marcus, who holds onto Charlie as they
race down the highway on the groundskeeper's motorcycle. Marcus is
now wearing the groundskeeper's coveralls. Exterior train Yards night. Charlie
scopes out the yards from the other side of a
chain link fence. Charlie's p O V Zoo workers offload
animals from cargo trucks onto train cars. We see a
few tape ears, a hippo, and finally a rhinoceros back
big out of nowhere, a pistol is jammed in his back.
Hello, Charlie, missus.
Oh fuck.
Charlie turns slowly to see noles and Martinez eating oble
What is.
This obs.
Okay, okay, that's the only food we all know Charlie
turns slowly to see Knoles and Martinez eating epanadas.
He puts his hands down.
You're a hard man to nail Charlie down.
What still chewing?
He's a hard man to nail down.
Really well, I'm sorry. Maybe it'd be easier to find
me at the zoo and Cali. Oh wait, they shut
that down.
I'm sensing a little hostility.
Okay, Look, unless you haven't noticed, I'm kind of busy
at the moment.
Charlie turns his attention back to the yards.
Consider this a friendly reminder to keep your yap shut
about our little arrangement.
The walls have ears.
We're outside.
It's a figure of speaking.
Okay, look, I didn't tell them. Okay, the guys holster
their weapons. Good.
You worry about finding that animal and leave the rest
to us.
Well, it may be a long wait unless you can
figure out how three guys on a scooter can transport
a four ton.
N posceus Noles and Martinez side by each other and
offer up a smug smile.
Now there, we might be able to help.
Exterior curbside train yards day, Sam and Marcus and on
the sidewalk sipping a couple of Club Columbia's wrapped in napkins.
Charlie approaches, Okay, we're in business.
I saw them loading animals onto cars, including one rhino.
Marcus and Sam get to their feet relieved. Fucking hey, so.
Now do we just saunter over and say your rhino
or your life?
Oh no, no, we'll come back after dark.
That'll give us time to get supplies and maybe some peans.
Two of them actually, Marcus and Sam not enthusiastically at
the suggestion. Exterior train yards night, Marcus and Charlie are
crouched behind an empty railway car.
Sam sidles up beside them.
Okay, I spotted two guards, but one is watching reruns
of Latino Mattlock, so really there's only one. Okay, I
spotted two guards. One is watching reruns of Latino Mattlock,
so really.
There's only one. What about the animals?
I doubt they could see it was a pretty small TV.
Are they still there?
Oh?
Oh right, right?
Yeah, well I heard plenty of grunting and snorting, which
is either the animals or someone be getting there PHCD.
Marcus and Charlie give them a weird look. It's a
new thing.
I'm trying no to ethnic never mind.
Okay, come on, come on, we'll just split up. Anyone
runs into trouble, just call out and one.
Of us will come find you. What's your signal? I
don't know. You do a bird call or something? Oh,
I could do a Moroccan fire chicken. That could literally
be any animal. It's fine, it's fine. Whatever. Okay, let's
do a supply check. What did you find?
Marcus looks in his bag. First things first, he passes
out fake mustaches. They put them on without question. Reached
to the bag.
What else?
Let's see doggy treats, stuck tape, folk cutters, pennyhose, sound.
Like here, gotta get his the record? Am I right?
Still?
No?
I also got these.
Marcus pulls out a small red packet and gives them
to Charlie.
Firecrackers for what uh? Because they're awesome.
Charlie can't argue with that. Sam grabs a pack.
Ooh, did you get the sparkly kind that shoot out
different colors?
Could we please focus for a second, Sam throws Marcus
a look, mocking Charlie.
All right, here's the plan, Sam, since you speak the
most Spanish.
And Rhino, Charlie lays out the plan over a series
of shots set to Latino heist music. Sam SLINKs around
between the railcars, checking each one.
You'll be our scout. Find out which car the rhino
was in. Marcus and I we will wait for your signal.
Once you're located, we'll come find you.
Marcus hugs the side of the guard station while the
guard dog gnaws happily on a bone.
Marcus, you handle security. Make sure that dog stays put.
As Marcus peeks in, we see a fat guard glued
to his television. Marcus rolls up his pant leg and
sticks out at pantyhose' leg into the booth. The guard
sees the leg raises an eyebrow. Whatever you do, keep
it quiet. We don't need any undue attention. After the
guard is out of commission, open the gate and I'll
come find you. Guys with a truck.
Where are you gonna get a truck?
I'll get one. Just make sure the gate is open.
This sounds all great and all, but how are we
supposed to get said rhino off the train?
Sam takes out a cabbage from his bag. Let's bend
split in half and houled out with a ball of
paste in the middle.
Oh, this baby is packed with enough goof juice to
put down a I don't know, like a really big
horse or smallesh elephant or something.
Where the hell did you get that?
Oh for Mama, the medicine man.
You had a gift shop too.
Oh, I also got this watch.
It's Sako.
Exterior train yards night. Sam peeks his head around a
railcar to see a zoo worker sealing up a box
car before moving off. Sam sneaks between the rows of
railway cars, wrapping on the sides and looking between slats.
Here, rhino, rhino, rhino.
We hear snorting. Sam peeks his head into one car.
An elephant sneaks its trunk out with the slats and
slapped Sam hard, momentarily stunning it. Sam shakes it off,
but the elephant sprays some putrid brown liquid on his face.
Today's out of the closet.
I'm already taking it in the face.
He wipes it off and looks in another car. This
time it's the right one. Sam slides it open. Sure enough,
it's a young fourteen hundred black rhinoceros.
Right over, Alert, right.
Over, Alert.
Marcus appears behind the train car. Damn Sam, over here,
over here, I think we may have a problem.
Marcus rushes over and looks in the rhino is assend out.
Yeah, that's a problem.
Did you try giving it the cabbage?
Charlie said, not until it was on the truck. Well,
Charlie doesn't know about this. Why say give it to
him now? Oh all right?
But why do I always have to be the fluffer?
Marcus smiles.
Sam huffs and takes out the cabbage, lamely waving it around.
Here.
You go, boy, got a nice, big, good cabbage for you.
You have to climb up there. He needs it to
ump are waiting? Are you you have to climb You
have to climb up there. He needs to smell it.
Are you fucking Coco puffs?
I am no.
I'm not getting in there with that thing.
By can't see in the dark.
I'm codline, Sam, Sam, Where are you all fine?
You big baby? Exterior interior box car night.
Sam climbs into the car and suddenly realizes the floor
is covered in three feet of rhino.
Turn Oh good, oh my god, I'm me deep and
after first, forget that.
Just give him the cabbage and get out.
Sam tries to shimmy around the rhino, who seems pretty tame.
He waves the cabbage around. The rhino turns its head
and swats Sam's face with his tail.
Take it, digg it.
The rhinos slowly lumbers to its feet and tries to
turn around to the tight space, pinning Sam against the car.
Hurry up, I think I hear someone. Sam wheezes and
smacks at the rhinos. Get it to move.
The rhino barely notices. Sam throws the cabbage down. The
rhino shifts over to sniff it, trapping Sam in the
rear of the car.
Marcus, Marcus, Help.
I'm stuck.
Headlights appear through the cars. Marcus ducks down. Charlie pulls
up in a cargo truck. The letters DEA are shoddily
painted over in white, like liquid paper. He pulls up
alongside the railcar parks and gets out.
Where's Sam. He's in the car with the rhino. Oh
what the hell is he doing there? Even at the cabbage,
neither noticed. The train has lurched full.
Okay, that was supposed to be from when the rhino
was already on the truck.
Hey, hey, well we're moving. I had to improvise.
It was facing the wrong way, and now we have
we're moving.
The train is not supposed to be moving. They look up. Shit.
Charlie and Marcus take off, running alongside the box car.
Shit shit, Sam, just hang on, don't worry. Sam, just
fuck you mean, don't worry.
I'm trapped behind the fudge maker of a.
Motherflipp a dinosaur. Stay with him, I'll get the truck.
Charlie runs off while Marcus tries to keep up with
the car.
I'm running, I'm running, I'm dying.
Marcus reaches out and grabs onto the car's door handle.
The momentum jerks him off his feet till he's able
to catch up and grab on. Charlie drives up alongside.
Well, one of you do something, Barkis, I'll hold her.
Steady tells Sam to jump before the trane picks up speed.
Charlie says, you gotta jump? What jump? I can't get
around this thing.
Sam tries slapping the rhino's butt harder and harder, but
the runner doesn't.
Even feel it. It just chews on a cabbage. He
says he can't. Carla cheers to him in a.
Vision Jnathan up the boomer No matter how they are
that's son of.
A bishop, puff off every time.
Tell him to ram his fist in it butt hoole
as hard as he can.
Trust me, Charlie says, you gotta bunch it in the
starfish as hard as you can. I change my mind.
I don't love me.
Yeah.
Sam hums and haws grossed out until he swings his
arm back and rams his fist part of the rhino's
rectum freeze frame on the rhino as it jolts up.
Marcus swings out of the way. At the last second,
the rhino breaks through the sidewall of the car. Charlie
turns the wheel at the last moment, narrowly missing the rhino.
The truck rolls up on two wheels, inches from rolling over.
Marcus and Sam leap from the train and roll into
the dirt, kicking up a dust cloud a few yards
ahead of the truck. Charlie holds a tight grip on
the steering wheel. He jams on the brakes, trying to
process what the hell just happened.
The rhino takes off running No no, no, no no no.
Charlie unbuckles pops down from the truck just as Sam
and Marcus catch up They all watch dejectedly as the
rhino runs off in a cloud of dust.
We're dead men.
Wait, look, the rhino wobbles unsteadily and whomp it buckles
stoned out of its core.
Perfect.
Now, how the hell do we get Andre the giant
here on the truck. They all look defeated for a beat.
Then suddenly we hear them.
Of propeller blades.
They all look up to see a camouflaged Huey helicopter
A harness drops to the ground above the rhino.
Knowles leans out the side and gives them a thumbs up.
It's okay, they're with me.
Exterior Highway Day. The cargo truck cruises down the expressway.
Its rear suspension is completely shot, and the back edge
of the truck scraped sparks along the asphalt with every
bump they hit.
Soon exactly when you go in and tell us that
the FEDS were involved. I couldn't. I couldn't. They said
that they'd arrest all of us if I.
Told they were playing you.
They want us to turn on each other. You can't
fall for the mind games.
Look, I'm sorry, I've been an asshole, and I know
it all. Anna Kiljoy Okay, you're right. Look, whatever happens,
I just want you guys to know I would never
turn on you, not me.
I'd leave you both on a hot second for the
right piece of ass.
They all mutually agree on that.
Fine, Fine, I admit it may be by fault we're
in this mess.
Okay, definitely, I guess.
I just, I just I was really hoping I could
pull this off for the three of us, like we
dreamed about when we were kids, our own private hideaway.
Well, maybe it's time we all grow up and stop hiding.
Sam spots something in the side mirror.
Guys, looks like we got company.
A black suv pulls up alongside the passenger. A tough
guy in mirrored shades motions with his pistol for them
to follow.
He found us.
It's license plate reads Satan Cut two exterior Finker Hideaway. Later,
they reach a large gated compound flanked by guard towers.
A guard with an oozy.
Approaches the window and yells at them and Spanish to
get their hands up, then to Charlie to roll down
his window.
So it u uh delivery for mister Escobar.
The goon heads around to the rear of the van
and opens it to see the stone run. The goon
motions to the guard to let them through.
We're there.
Cut two exterior Escobar hideaway courtyard Day Sam Marcus and
Charlie pull into an open air courtyard. Charlie looks around
and clocks two armed guards on a balcony. The large
wooden gate closes behind him. Through awkward smiles and clenched teeth, Charlie.
I hope the hell you know what you're doing. Just
stick to the plan, right the plan? What was the
plan again?
The door's open. Out walks Pablo back in full mobster form.
Hey Charlie, you made it back alive. Color me impressed.
You have my package. I held up my end of
the bargain.
They opened the back of the truck to reveal the rhino.
Pablo steps forward, delighted, his eyes well up, bites his fist.
She's beautiful. Okay, you got your rhino. Now let Lucia go.
Escobar wags a finger and a henchman steps up, holding Lucia.
Charlie, Lucia, you are a man of your word.
Nevertheless, the henchman puts his pistol against the back of
Lucia's head.
And cocks the trigger.
Well, you said that if we got you the right show,
but that Nicklam's supposed to be dead, and since you
all saw me.
No, is this the plan yet?
The henchman hands Pablo his pistol. He pointed at Charlie.
I got here, ka wait wait, I know what it's like.
We know what it's like, convincing yourself that you're happy
because you have everything you could ever want to.
Get, still feeling like something is missing.
Never pursuing your true passion because somehow wife had other plans.
Maria barges in holding her dog.
What the fuck is the hold up?
You go what you want it, now, finish it.
Sam steps forward, only living to try and please others,
never being true to.
Who you are, living a lie to make other people
feel comfortable.
Why we all want to log in Pablo shoot them.
But Pablo can't hear her. Not When finally he has seen.
Trying to live up to other people's expectations instead of
setting out on your own with a courage to make mistakes,
never feeling free to be me, Pablo lowers the God
for the.
Love of God, for God's sake, fuck in methist.
Maria moves to grab it away. No no, no, no no
no no no no no.
Pablo yanks his hand back. The gun goes off and blame.
The henchmen nearest to him fall to the ground dead.
Oh. Pablo shakes his head, turns on Maria. See what
you maybe do? I am sick of you constantly micro
managing me from now one don't know? So I got
be done? So I got be done? I got be done?
Did he just caote LaBamba? He's had a roll? Go
with it.
Lucia, capitalizing on the distraction, grabs the yuzy from the
dead thug run and opens fire on the other henchmen
in the balcony.
I'm not leaving you.
Wait do we miss a light at the bottom of one?
Three? He's on the wall. Go with it. Oh, I
said that, no one. You might want to follow the
walk from up on the balcony. The henchman returns.
Fire bullets smack the stone tiles inches from Charlie, Marcus
and Sam. They all die for cover, terrified as the
firing continue.
Okay, now we can leave.
Oh wait, it's even big Bold riding and I can't
even still.
Okay, now we can go home.
Lucia expertly takes out another henchman, sending him over the
railing to the ground in a clasp of dust. Two
more henchmen come running out. Lucilla turns to fire, discovering
she's out, you know. Lucia drops the gun and holds
her hands up as the two draw down in her.
Come on out, Charlie, it's over it. You may not
have lived like a man, but you can at least
die like one. The guys all step out with their
hands off.
Pablo escomore, this is the United States Justice Department.
We have the police surrounded.
We do and your whipps and surrender immediately.
That's the plan. Well play, Charlie, but this change is nothing.
Pablo ask out, does not surrender.
Everyone cocks their guns when suddenly the rhino it stumbles
out of the truck, clearly still stoned. It turns to
Pablo and his men on henchmen. He raises a rifle.
Pablo stops him.
What's the matter, would.
You get it? The rhino charges.
Everyone scrambles in terror as the rhino goes on a rampage.
Consider they say the board. Maria looks genuinely shocked.
Yeah, what little guy.
Case it whine.
Off screen and the distance automatic gunfire can be heard.
I will no longer continue to let you cause up
my manhood. Then allow me.
Lucia straight arms Pablo, knocking him flat on his ass.
On Maria, she grabs a gun and turns the fire
on Lucia when the rhino butts her, sending her flying.
All heads turn to watch her sore through the air.
The rhino breaks through the courtyard doors and keeps on running.
Nolesa Martinez bust in with their guns drawn, followed by
several other gun toting dee a Lackey's please, nobody.
Move if you say freeze, nobody moves, implied no, That's.
Why I said it.
Knowles and Martinez see Charlie and Lucia standing over an
unconscious Pablo.
Good work, and remember this never happened.
As the Feds pour in, taking charge of the situation,
Lucia sweeps Charlie up in a heartfelt embrace.
Thank you, Charlie for not giving up, and thank you
for being the reason I came to Colombia in the
first place.
In a statement issued by the Colombian President today, candle
A visuals around the country are being held to honor.
The eleventh anniversary of the death of infamous drug kingpin
Pablo Escobar, ending years of torment for the people of Colombia.
Exterior jeep driving Day one year later. A military jeep
races through the jungle. It pulls sharply off the path
onto a paved road. They pass a couple shoulders who
patrol the road on either side of them.
Of DeCamps.
It pulls sharply off the path onto a paved road.
They pass a couple soldiers who patrol the road on
either side of them. The guards give a thumbs up.
The road takes us to a large gated checkpoint. The
jeep stops. A guard comes out and is handed a
metal briefcase. They salute each other as the guard takes possession.
Interior hallway Day. The guard knocks on.
The door, Iffie, it has a right come.
The guard opens the door and enters into interior office Continuous,
a modest looking office with a wide oak desk. The
man behind the desk, with his back to us, turns
in his leather back chair and we see that it
is Charlie, dressed like mister Rourke from Fantasy Island.
Thank you Jason the guards.
Charlie opens the briefcase, where inside he finds a copy
of his new novel. The cover depicts a white rhinoceros.
The title reads El Contador. Charlie flips it over to
see a black and white photo of himself looking a
bit like Indiana Jones. There's a sticky note attached that
reads Happy Rebirthday TC. The sound of a walkie talkie
squelches Charlie. On my way out Exterior Resort day. The
villa has been modernized and expanded into a full blown resort.
The grounds are buzzing with workers beautifying the grounds. Exotic
flowers and topiaries are everywhere. Charlie comes out and waves
to a gardener shaping a shrub into a giant rhino.
Looking good Don Diego parts.
An assistant comes out to greet Charlie. They do a
walk and talk through the resort beneath a wrought iron
sign that reads Parasomo got a ESOMEO continuous.
I rescheduled her four o'clock with the developers like you asked,
and the Secret Service sent over a gift basket.
With a check for damages.
They're interrupted by Marcus, who approaches holding said gift basket.
Marcus wears reading glasses.
Can you believe this shit who sends a fucking fruit
basket to a tropical resort in Columbia?
Public relations is your department? Let me go better handle
it before it turns into another international incident.
Please, like anyone would find out? Are you joining us?
Someone's got around the joint. Marcus goes back into his office.
Everything is set up on the observation.
Deck as you requested.
The assistant smiles and takes her leave. Charlie looks over
to see Lucia sunning herself by the pool, sun kissed
and fabulous.
Charlie, you promised you wouldn't spend the entire day working,
just one final thing. I need to take care of me,
and then I promise I am all yous. All we
are a long, passionate kiss and too suanous.
Charlie crosses past a hot tub where Sam is enjoying
a fruity cocktail with Philip, his French lover.
Looking good, Sam, feeling good, Charlie.
Exterior pwat youse meo observation deck continuous. Charlie walks up
a few steps to a gorgeous terrace, overlooking a spectacular
vista of waterfront property. Charlie sighs and takes in a
deep breath, soaking it all in.
Come on, Dad.
We pan over to see Ben standing with a bungee guide.
Charlie throws up an apologetic hand and takes off his jacket.
The guide clips him into a harness.
Sure you want to do this? Are you kidding? I
live for this. Sad as Charlie goes over the edge,
fade to black. The end, any.
Anything to be
Block