The Strength In Submission w/Dr. Cheyenne Bryant

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Speaker 1: Coming up on Keep It Positive, Sweetie.

00:00:03
Speaker 2: Marriage is not about kumba, y'all. It's about commitment. It's about I said I was gonna lock in with you, Kristal and be your best friend, and no matter what happens, I already forgive you, and no matter what happens, I'm gonna I'm gonna talk it out. I'm gonna have a conversation and divorce ain't an option. So we have no other option but to bring resolve in this friendship. And if my friendships aren't on that foundation, that's what I don't want them. Hi.

00:00:51
Speaker 3: I'm christ Hneate Hazlet and this is the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show, A say Stacey, Heal, Laugh, grow and love. Today's show is all about mental health, the keys to good communication, and the pathways to living your best life. Doctor Cheyenne Brian is here, and between her viral interviews and tell like it Is demeanor, there's a lot we'll be able to talk about with an unapologetic delivery and honest reads of the social, romantic, and professional lives of some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry. Doctor Cheyenne Bryan's brand is buzzing. I'm so excited to talk to her about her love life, the formula for communication without conflict, and how we can all attain mental and emotional wellness. Doctor Brian, thank you so much for coming today. This has been long awaited. Our fans were blowing you up, they were blowing me up about getting you on the show.

00:01:41
Speaker 2: So I'm so excited we got to make this happen. Yes, thank you for having me. And then when I seen you coming off the elevent I was like, oh my god, come here, give me. We're both like as if we had just like been friends for years. I was like, oh my god. Yes, I was like, they want us to do this thing, and you were just just so amazing with making it happen and so quick working with my time and your time. So thank you, Thank you. Honored to be on your show.

00:02:03
Speaker 1: Thank you as such a busy woman.

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Speaker 3: Every time I turn on my phone, I feel like there's a clip of you.

00:02:08
Speaker 1: You have been everywhere.

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Speaker 2: One day they love me and the next day they hate me. But the cool thing is that every day I love myself.

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Speaker 1: That's all that. Yes, I love that.

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Speaker 2: I love that.

00:02:19
Speaker 1: So we've we're going to get to the deep stuff.

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Speaker 3: We see you on the phone on the interviews, give having deep conversation, always therapizing and helping people. But I want to know, what does doctor Bryan Do you pour into everyone?

00:02:33
Speaker 1: How do you pour back into yourself?

00:02:34
Speaker 2: I love that well one having an amazing ecosystem. I have best friends Lola, Gina, Kia that just surround me with love. When I say they support me, sis, these women root for me. And these are twenty five plus your friendship. I could be all of myself, the loving, nurturing, catering, submissive me, the fussy Brady. I'm just hungry. It's that time of the month, you know, I want a burger from McDonald's. Me. They just get me and it's reciprocal. My best friend travels with me everywhere. She's my assistant as well. Lola. Yeah, she's very protective over me, and so that gives me cushion. My mom, who is my only living parent now, she cooks, cleans, she lives with me, and she treats me like I'm four years old. And as crazy as that sounds, I feel like it's important for all of us to be somebody's baby, no matter how old we are, and still being her baby. It just it's my It's like it helps me be vertical and it gives me a lot to stand on it. So no matter where I'm at in the world, no matter what the blogs or the people are saying in that moment, in that space, I have these people that I stand on and so it feels really good. In an addition, I meditate every day for twenty minutes. I've been doing that for ten years. I'm big on Abraham Higgs, Bishop Jake's I'm always listening to my audio books. I'm not a TV person, although I don't watch TV, but I did love Your as a Team, a show I can't lie. I used to go in there like I'm gonna to watch this with I don't watch TV, but so I do all those things and that helps keep the outside chatter completely outside. A ship sells as long as the outside water doesn't get inside and the ship that the material that the ship is built with, I always say, is your friends, your family, the people who support you, who love you. And so if you got folks who are solid and who are built, that ship is going to sell no matter what. And their job is to make sure that the outside chatter stays out, and then my job is to do that as well with them, and we do a damn good job over here. We do. I mean, I have a team. I'm telling you because we have a real marriage where marriage is not about kumbaya, it's about commitment. It's about I said, I was gonna lock in with you, Crystal and be your best friend, and no matter what happens, I already forgive you, and no matter what happens, I'm gonna I'm gonna talk it out. I'm gonna have a conversation, and divorce ain't an option, so we have no other option but to bring resolve in this friendship. And if my friendship aren't on that foundation, that's what I don't want them.

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Speaker 3: I don't want you live what you preach, even in your friendships, because we talk about your relationships and you give advice on relationships. But it sounds like you do that also in your friendships. That's amazing I do because.

00:05:13
Speaker 2: The boy I tell my girls all the time, my best friend may be like, you don't have to say it like that. I said, girl, what we gonna do to get over because you ain't going nowhere? You ain't going nowhere? Girl would body slam you. And she's always like, I'm hearing you got me? Do you have you a boy? I'm like, no, I'm not, but I.

00:05:29
Speaker 1: Will about it.

00:05:29
Speaker 2: Say you you think you walking out this door? I love you. You ain't going nowhere.

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Speaker 3: I love that in your downtime. I don't know how much downtime you get.

00:05:36
Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 3: What is like your favorite place to go on vacation just to get away.

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Speaker 2: As crazy as it sounds, I have a you know, and I say this with all humility. I have a beautiful, really big home or lot, not the property or a lot of twenty four thousand square feet or horse zone. We got to pull a pool house or game room, and we don't always have that. We always said we went from the hood to the hills. And my favorite place is like a retreat there vacation is and I have the big mama houses at home with my mom, and we have a pool day and my friends and family come over, and my bishop comes over, my pastor comes over with first Lady, and we have board games and we drink our wine and we have our drink and we're just shooting the shit literally and talking loud and having a good time. And my hairs and the birds nest and I running around in a bathing suit and everybody is at home, And as crazy as that sounds, that's my vacation. I like to be there. Yeah.

00:06:29
Speaker 1: No, I feel the same way. A lot of times.

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Speaker 3: We go so much and the home can be a vacation and actually enjoying your home. I remember telling a friend I was working so much leading up to COVID that when I had to sit home, I was like, wow, like I finally got to appreciate where I lived because it's literally just going to sleep there because I was working and on the gost so much that I realized, oh my goodness, this is a blessing and I can actually sit in this for a minute.

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Speaker 2: So I get it sounds like refuge, yeah yeah. And then being with my with my my mother, she is a ball of energy. She is hilarious, she's so, she's catering, she's loving, she's so for me, Like she creates this space. Right Like I always say, I bought the I did. I bought the house, but my mama makes it a home, she really does. And so but for me, that's where I go home, and I'm just like mommy mama, you know, and and so that's that's my that's my vacation. And so I mean, we gotta we gotta plan vacation. But my mom she's like, if it's over four hours, I'm not traveling, no acting where. I'm like, Ma, you have to go my brother, and not even trying to get her, like you have to go on a vacation. Yeah.

00:07:42
Speaker 1: No, It's funny.

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Speaker 3: I just took my parents to Europe for the first time. They've never been, and I just love traveling overseas.

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Speaker 1: And at first my dad was like, I don't know that long flight.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, Dad, come on, and he was like, it's just I don't know if I can fly that long. And a friend of his is like, if my daughter is going to take me overseas, I've been on the first thing smoking And he called me back and he goes, you know what, I'm going to do it. And it was the best decision he made, and they had. They're still talking about they have the time of their life, but I get it, you have they have to travel.

00:08:11
Speaker 2: They have to Yeah, And she's like just stalling on getting her passport. It's so cute. So we took her to her wife, and she hit about that third hour on that flight, she was fussing and cutting up. Me and my brother. We were like, oh my god, like mom stopped stop. She was like this is too Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed. The people next to us were like, can you move this woman. I was like, I'm so sorry, Oh my god.

00:08:36
Speaker 1: What did she have fun when she got there?

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Speaker 2: She had a time. She put a little bathing suit on and she was just We went a dolphin watching and swimming with the dolphins. It was adorable. We had a good time. I love it.

00:08:48
Speaker 1: You're very open about dating.

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Speaker 3: And we spoke offline about you're from Los Angeles, but you are here working a lot, and he talked about how the dating, it's not really a lot going on here.

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Speaker 2: It's not what Also, I'm in session from eight am to five pm. I leave at five point fifteen to go on set at six to feel my new talk show, and then I'm home at eleven thirty. It's true Talk, and so it's called True Talks on Fox. Thank you, Thank you. So I don't think I've really been getting out as much. I know. At home in LA I have this thing where I practice what I preach. I've committed to get out minimum twice a week to do something non work related, in super social and be in the environment with the men who I would want to date. And so I may sure I do it at home in la but in Atlanta I haven't done it. But also I'm like, where do I go? I don't have any friends, I don't know anyone, but I don't see a lot of just men out where. I'm like, oh, I want to flirt back, Hi, how you doing it?

00:09:51
Speaker 3: You said something that stood out, making sure that you put yourself in the places to attract the type of unity want. I just talked about that because my friends will I was looking today, they were like, well, where are you going? I'm like, nowhere they looking today?

00:10:05
Speaker 2: You ain't dating no more.

00:10:06
Speaker 3: I'm dating now. But like I wasn't like I'm dating someone.

00:10:09
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.

00:10:14
Speaker 3: So I was like one of those things are like what are you doing?

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, I don't go anywhere.

00:10:18
Speaker 3: And it was then I was like, I have to start putting myself in places. So what are some of the places that you go to attract the band that you want?

00:10:25
Speaker 2: Oh? Girl, you know? So I do rooftops a lot. I know, I do rooftops. I'm president of ina A CP in Los Angeles and so I go to a lot of political events I do. I go to a lot of This was election year, so I was at a lot of different campaigns that you know, my cow group put together fundraisers. We did fundraisers for our mayor, Karen Bass, and the read a lot of really good looking, you know men there who were contributors to the campaign. So we know they got the money to contribute. We know they know they're politics, so they're intelligent. They good talk. So I was there and met a couple guys, went on some dates. And I do have guys that I go on dates with, and no disrespect to them because they're all amazing men. But there hasn't been anyone that I've been on dates with that I want to just continue to date for the rest of my life. And so I say I've been saying for the past since I turned forty two in September, I'm like, I'm in my choosing stage. I'm going to choose, yes, but I ain't got no one come that I want to choose. And it's not to say they're not amazing and they're not really good men.

00:11:33
Speaker 1: It's just like, what are those things that you're like?

00:11:36
Speaker 2: That's what I love this. I love this. So I have this thing where I tell my clients is all the time, even the ones who are already married, I said, did you choose marriage or did you choose him or her? Because see, I'm not a woman who's choosing marriage, right. I had a father, And no put attention to the fatherless girls because that's it's a hard space to navigate, and you know, I don't understand that personally, but I understand that that been helping women navocate that for sixteen plus years. But I had a father. He was participatory, He was my best friend. He doted on me, he loved me. I was his everything. I was his one of his biggest investments, besides all the other six of us that he has. But I said that to say, so, I'm not choosing marriage because I need a title, validation or something that I can just hang up like an ornament. I'm really choosing a person. And so when you choose a person, that's when marriage lasts. Because if I'm choosing you, I'm plugged into you, and that means that I literally can't go outside of you and find another you. But if I choose marriage, I could take that title and put that on anybody. Right. So that's how marriage is able to dissipate so quick and the divorce rate is so high because it's like, look, I was choosing marriage to begin with. I never chose you anyway, so I can just go choose me another pretty thing like you put a marriage on her and be in a marriage, but not in a relationship. And so when I'm out with men, I'm like two things. Would I want my son to be like you? If it's a no, then it's a no. Can I really choose you? Like when things get hard, am I willing to just forgive you about everything? Because I'm not leaving my husband. And that's why I don't think women are Men who stay through anything except abuse, of course, are dumb. You know, I don't think IV acts me. On Breakfast Club, he said, do you think if a woman stays in a marriage after she's been cheated on, she's dumb? I said, I don't think she's dumb. No, that's her husband, that's her family. If she wants to stay, I think she needs to get the right tools to learn how to be in an infidelity relationship, because that takes a shift in who you are as a woman so that you can still be submissive to this man and still treat him as a king and not see him as less valuable in that. So for me, it's just it's like, well, I God forbid you end up stepping out on me or doing things that dishonor me because you're human, not because you're a bad man. Will I want to work that out with you because you're my person. Yeah, when that presents itself, I'm locking in. Yeah, I'm having babies and I don't condone the cheating, but I'm not leaving my husband. I'll leave a man. I'm not leaving my husband, your husband exactly.

00:14:14
Speaker 3: I was watching something on you know, all these it's a lot of relationship talk on Instagram, and I cannot remember who it was, but he was saying that the marriages.

00:14:23
Speaker 1: Oh, I think it was.

00:14:25
Speaker 3: The pastor of twenty nine to eighteen, Philip Mitchell. I think I don't want to miss Cody his name, Yeah, but pastor here, And he was saying that marriages can be stronger sometimes after infidelity if the both partners work towards it and they can kind of learn more about yourselves and what you can handle. But then going in and doing the work together to change you sometimes you can come out even stronger on the other side of that.

00:14:53
Speaker 2: I love that because I always say the Bible says seek White's counsel and want it's referend to seeking White's counsel. When it comes to marriage, folks have been married fifteen, twenty, thirty, forty years. They're not teaching you how to be happy. They're teaching you how to stick through the bs that's gonna come with life, whether you're single or marriage. Right, no matter what you're doing, life is gonna life. And they're teaching you that when y'all get to this space, when you get to this red seat, don't get weary and well doing it is split, right, And so it's telling you when you get to the other side, and you know there's a promise land or a wilderness depending on what you choose, and if you choose to complain after the red sea has split, God to give you a man and water to help you sustain that wilderness. But here puts you in that wardness for forty years before you gets to the Promised Land. And so that's why I said, it's not about a woman or a man being dumb for staying through anything in their marriage or even relationship. It's about do you have the effective tools to not end up in a wilderness twenty thirty more years in your marriage because you're resentful for staying with this person for what you know they did. How do you actively forgive because forgiveness it's an action word. And how can you still love them and honor them when they've just dishonored you? Because that's real.

00:16:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the real work.

00:16:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I'm working on that. I get into that, and I feel like me coming and open minded without all of these conditions in compartmentalizing like I did in my younger days when I was engaged, coming in with these conditions. If this happens, if this happened, that I'm done. Well, baby, you're already done, baby, because something's going to happen. Them things is going to happen. Yeah, you're done, that's really you know. And if you have this favorite tale ideology, fairy tales end at some point that was me.

00:16:37
Speaker 3: That was me for the longest, Like, and I feel like Disney just kind of warped our minds and I wanted that and I had. I dated a guy and he goes, you just want this fairy tale and it does not exist, and I'm like, yes it does, and he's give it to me now, yes, He's like, no, it does not, and I'm finally realizing it does not. And it's because after I hear people talk about their truths that have been made for so long, and I'm literally like idolizing their relationship, like that's what I want, that's what I want, and they tell me, no, honey, it was not all roses. It still isn't, but this is my person. So it's so true.

00:17:10
Speaker 2: And you got to learn how to see in others what you want to see in them and what you want to experience. That has been one of my biggest blessings is what do I want to experience with Crystal? So what lens do I have to see or have to see that in her? Because I'm responsible for my experience absolutely. And in a marriage or relationship, do I want to see my husband as having to be perfect so that I'm always having to find something I can criticize for or can I just accept them for being a man and say that's my husband. That's just the stuff girl girl, and I take them in dosage sometimes, right? How do we do that? And then the other thing is the Bible says marriages for discipline people.

00:17:53
Speaker 1: You were just speaking on the records floor.

00:17:55
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And that's because I have to be disciplined enough to know also how to self soothe. When you're only at sixty percent of satisfying me? What do I do with that forty percent? Do I self soothe? Do I cheat? Do I ridicule you? Do I e masculate you? Does he disempower you? Is? Does he have a side chick for the forty percent you can't cover that he knew you couldn't cover when he first met you. You knew this. When you got with this woman, you knew this, Or when you become the mother of his children? How does he self soothe while you're transitioning from mommyhood to duality of wife and mommy?

00:18:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's so yeah, I heard, yes, yeah.

00:18:35
Speaker 2: You know. And I had my first fiance's mom. She was so amazing at this we got when we first got engaged, she took me on this ryde girl and she was like, okay, honey, I got to talk to you. And I'm like okay, and she's like, you know, I buy you lingerie for birthdays and Christmas. That's from my son, which I loved. I was like okay, and she was like, you know, and when y'all have your first kids, I just want you to know. She just wants you to know now that that whole down there may not work, but as a wife, you have other holes and you have a mouth. His mom let me tell you how genius. Though I thought that was because she was looking out for her son. She was saying, as she had been married about forty years to his father at that time, as a married woman, she's saying, let me just tell you what has worked for us, and possibly maybe the mistake she might have made that yeah, And I just thought, Wow, if more moms would have that real authentic conversation versus just you know, I need to just get married and and you know, ride off on a horse in the midnight hours that it doesn't work, it's not no. What do we do when I have this baby and he has needs and I can't deliver? What are the alternatives? How do we communicate that how do I make sure that baby and father, her husband both feel seen and loved. How do I communicate to him that my hormones are crazy and I need more reassurance. Yes, I'm not in the hearing. If I am, so what support me in this? I don't care what title you put to it. Then it's insecure. Then you really need to help me become more secure. I just I just birth your baby. Yeah, this face? What does that look like? Right?

00:20:13
Speaker 3: Friends, male and female like, and I've been on the receiving of hearing both the woman of the wife and the husband vent about those things, and I'm like, we need to understand her body's going through all these different changes. And then the guys like like the same thing, like, well, I mean, let me get some head or something.

00:20:27
Speaker 2: And I'm like, but can I ask you this? I mean, do you think that's too much for a man to ask for you had a baby? I mean I'm not saying the day you come out, right, for damn, I mean a couple of weeks into it. Do you think it's too much for him to not demand it, but to say baby?

00:20:44
Speaker 1: Because it's been a long time.

00:20:45
Speaker 2: I mean, it's been reason we used to have a really active sex life. I mean, can I get some heads yeah in between? Is that too much? Or is that just adult team and him being vulnerable enough to say I got needs. I got needs, and I'm not even thinking about stepping out on you job mount job. I mean now, I don't have any kids, so I say this now without mother. But my thing is like, absolutely hold on, give them ten more minutes to be hold on. Yeah, let's not Crystal Crystal, but can't you hurry up? I'm like, and I'm dripping. Any wife I'm listen is dedicated wife on my white baby wife. But that's teamwork. What we're talking about here is teamwork because while he's on the road, I got me.

00:21:36
Speaker 1: Yeah that's real.

00:21:37
Speaker 2: While you're doing things, I need to be seen. So text me when you land, ask me where I am. Buzz me throughout the day. I want to be loved. Love me like this. Don't love me like this, because if you love me like since we got a problem, love me like okay, both ways, y'all in and out the badger me like this.

00:22:06
Speaker 1: Yes, that is hilarious.

00:22:09
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I love this.

00:22:11
Speaker 1: This is what I wanted to get into. So say that you're on a first date. What are some first aid questions?

00:22:18
Speaker 3: Because me and a Shan and so my girls even talking about questions, the wildest questions that we've been asking some turn offs.

00:22:25
Speaker 1: What are some questions that you.

00:22:27
Speaker 3: Feel are important to ask on a first date when you're like, Okay, this is going in a good direction.

00:22:30
Speaker 2: This is such an unpopular opinion. But when I said all the women tend to go yes this, I feel the same way. But he said I was insecure. I've always asked, how do you feel about your woman having your password to your phone or to your laptop and having full access. That's the first thing I want to know, because again, being loved like this means we're orbiting, means I have access, and I'm not allowing you to access my body. Yes, if I can't access your shit, I'm not doing it. I have not and I won't. And so that's the first question. And what are the answers. Oh, I've had some men be like like password to my phone? Like I just feel like, you know, if you're going to trust me, then you trust me and you don't need to have access. And in my personal experience, I go red flag womanizer red flag womanizer and womanized just means you got something going on, you're manipulative, you're sneaky, you got something that you're not transparent about. I am not into honesty. I'm into transparency. I don't want to have to ask you fifteen questions to get you to be honest with me. I like transparency. Baby. I was on my way home and I got an email from my ex girlfriend and I forwarded to you. This is what she said. Okay, daddy, you hungry. I got dinner cooked. That's me. I don't want to have to ask you anything because I'm not the woman that's see and because I'm not going to sneak and go through your phone and I don't want it. I'm not going to try to learn your password. I need to make sure that I have full access because in my last relationship I have full access and I would sit with him in bed and be like, Bay, let me see your phone real quick, and he would just go now. Sometimes because I think he knew, like okay, I think it is mind knowing my personality. He was like, either she's doing it to flex her control, I'm just being transparent and being very accountable, or like thebe like, how many times are you looking off phone before you're reassured. I'm just speaking real from what I felt a man would think, right, But he would always go right to the game. And sometimes I would joke and I'd be like, nervous. You nervous. And this is even like two years in and when a big rock on my feet and we engage the wedding is like in too much And he'd be like, he'd be like, you look in it anyways, I know you do. But he also had access to mine. And so if the phone, well, if I'm in the shower, he go, your mama call him. So you're looking to see who calls, or sometimes I say, baby, text her back and tell her this this and that. I did that for one or two things. One I wanted him a text mama back, right, But two I wanted him to know I'm reassuring you too, and you can text back, you can respond. You have that access, you have that authority. You're my man. Your minds were getting married, and I'm transparent. And if there's something you see in there and we need to talk about and I need to shift, I'm willing to shift it. No big deal. But luckily knock on wood. With both of my engagements with full access, I've never ran into anything. I've never seen it. I mean, I've had access to Facebook pages, social media, but for me, that is my reassurance and I like that type of access. And so again, on the first day, if a man is like, now, that ain't me, and I don't just walk off the dinner. I'm mature, but I do understand that that's not my type of guy. And I've had men follow up like date number two, and I say, look, I don't want to waste your time. I am a woman who's an access woman, and I just would never even be intimate with you if I can't access what's going on, because if there is a disease or if there is something coming from someone, it's in that phone. It's in that phone. And I'm not playing with my body, I'm not playing with my heart. Yeah, and so I'm good.

00:26:03
Speaker 3: I love that with your engagements, and you are still a woman who who wants to be loved, aspires to be in a relationship.

00:26:11
Speaker 1: What kept you still wanted that?

00:26:13
Speaker 3: Because I know some people when they've been engaged and maybe it didn't work out that happened twice for you? What kept you saying no, this is I still want love?

00:26:20
Speaker 2: You know what's crazy? Chris So And again I say this with all the compassion for the women who have been left. Yeah, I think if I was the one being left, I probably would be on the other side of the emotion. I probably would maybe feel a little disempowered or kind of like what am I not doing right? Or why me? But being that I was the one that was pursued obviously right, and I pursued back once I wanted them, and acts right and chosen and chose back, and then I did the leaving, and I called off both engagements or both weddings. As crazy as it sounds, it does put It gives me leverage. It puts me in a position of power, not a power where I'm taking advantage of the power of I did the leaving, so I'm still the woman who was desired pursued. They still wanted the relationship when I left, and I didn't leave because they weren't great men. I left because they weren't my men forever and I wasn't going to continue to be in a relationship even with my last fiance, where I was fully taken care of. I didn't pay a bill by a grape. I made sure he had food I was cooking. I was definitely fully submissive to whatever he needed, which I loved, by the way. I love that. I love that role. Just so you men know, I love fascimission role. You could take care of me any day. But I still wasn't going to stay and allow him to take full care of me. Right knowing that I didn't want to be with this man. I wasn't staying to use him or I wasn't staying to be taken care of. He didn't take care of me because I didn't have my own I was a doctor already, I have my own money, I have my own reserves. And I also didn't need him to support me in the sense of once I left, you know, he was giving me money to leave. No when we left, we left, and my last text message to him was I left the house, thank you for taking such great care of me. I am so grateful for you. Continue blessings. And he text me back and said same to you. You know, thank you for everything, Continue blessings. It wasn't bitter, but I thanked him because that man took care of us. I mean like literally was a retired basketball player and was doing okay. But when it got a second regular job, Christal to make sure he can fit me into his world, and to me, that is just so just admirable, you know. And when you see a man putting that much effort, my opinion is, I don't care how alpha you are, you pique, you'll submissive. And that was my first time where I literally organically my alpha was like doormatt and my submissive was like fully play. And I fell in love with me, probably more than he did because I was like, oh, this saw her so miss a woman is She's everything. I love this. And yeah, anything he needed, he can come home at twelve and working out and he's like I'm hungry. I'm like, what do you want, No problem, put my little gospel music on, and I'm in that kitchen at twelve am cooking, having a good time. So they do exist, but you just have to make sure that you're choosing what works for you.

00:29:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, at what point were you like this amazing guy, he's doing all these amazing things, going the extra mile to get that extra job. What was it that you were like this isn't my forever person, because it sounds like a great race is where.

00:29:37
Speaker 2: Y'all gonna eat my ass up. And I'm okay with that. Okay, I'm okay with that. I actually love myself, so I don't date men with kids. Oh and he knew that when we first started dating. I obviously knew that he had two beautiful young adult daughters. But we still both continue to pursue each other and ended up in a relationship, ended up loving each other and engaged. And we would sit in bed, Crystal, I'm not it. We'd have the most amazing day, things would be good, and I would just lay in bed and I say, Babe at night, I'm like baby, He's like yep. I'm like, I'm having those fills again. And he's like what. And I'm like, I love that we're a family because we were like the girls would come and we'd have dinner. I'd cook, you know, and so but I'm like, I love our family unit. It's not your girls at all. They did nothing derogatory to the relationship. I mean, he made it a breeze. There was no baby mama drama. I never even met their mama's the oldest daughter would talk to me about her mom and some concerns they would have. It I would totally facilitate it, be open. I would work out what his girls eat. I mean, it was never then, and even after we broke up, me and his daughter, she still kept in contact. But I said that to say, I would say, it's not you, it's not them, it's me. My spirit isn't letting me go against my values of what I don't want. I come from my father who has six of us by five different women. And since I can remember speaking and thinking, I used to say, Daddy, I love all my siblings, but I don't like that you did this with five women, and I don't want that. And my extance had two beautiful girls by two different women.

00:31:26
Speaker 1: So you were saying that.

00:31:28
Speaker 2: My dad was like, Baby said, and I know you think he's different, because it's too he's not. Wow, he's not. He's not. So I told you, you know, we had this agreement. And I was like, but Daddy takes care of me and he loves me and we're good. And my dad was like, Baby, I'm telling you hold off on the wedding. Hold off. And so I would have these conversations and when I learned that there was nothing he could do to shift how I felt in here and it wasn't his responsibility to shift me had to be authentic and really show my love for him and say I can't be married and have kids. And it's continued to be this burden on us, and you try to facilitate it, and through a lot of those spaces, it will cause some conflict. And he wasn't always able to have the emotional intelligence needed to totally facilitate us through certain things. And so I start saying, you know, what if I be when I're am pregnant, We're marry and are pregnant, and I'm having these these moments and he's not able to facilitate me. He's shutting down for four or five days and we're in the house together. And mind you, he was fourteen years older than me, and so in my mind, I'm thinking, which most of us think, older man, the matority's going to be there. He can facilitate this. That's not an age thing. That's just an experience and wisdom thing. And to his defense, you know, I believe he tried his best to but when it came to us having friction. The second part of it was he was still very into that an emotional intelligence work girl. We go five days without talking in the same house, and I said, baby, I can't be married like this.

00:33:06
Speaker 1: Don't worry.

00:33:07
Speaker 2: So two things. It was the reality of you have these beautiful girls who have nothing to do with my decision. It's all my values and what I want. And the other thing is you're not able to problem solve and bring resolve quick enough in this house and I want peace.

00:33:22
Speaker 1: Now.

00:33:22
Speaker 3: Do you think that if he didn't do the whole I can go five days without talking to you. Do you think you could have maybe let the having the kids slide because you love.

00:33:32
Speaker 1: The girls, they love you clearly still have a great relationship with them.

00:33:35
Speaker 3: Is that something that maybe if that was strong and the communication and maturity was there, that you could have kept that relationship going.

00:33:42
Speaker 2: I think I think no. I think God would have found a gentle way like he did in this relationship to sever it. Because God knows my heart. Yeah, and like he said, I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and give you a good life. And I know that he knows a good life for me. Is meet my husband and our babies, and he God built me, so he knows how he built my little territorial self, and he knows that I don't want to look across the room and see my husband, as selfish as it may sound for others, for me, it's not selfish, it's me. I don't want to look cross the room and see my husband engaging interacting with someone else's child that's not mine. The second thing is, I'm a type of woman that if I'm with a man with kids, I'm fully invested. Those kids will be treated no different than my kids. I will love and invest in them like their minds. And just like when him and I when I caught off the wedding, I left, He got to keep the family. I left as a single woman having to go create my own family. So that's an investment a lot of women and men make where they're coming in and being stepmom or stepdaddy, and if that relationship ends, those kids are not yours. It's very rare that those kids roll with you when mom or dad gets another relationship. Guess what, Yeah, it's the next step mommy or daddy. So where did the return on your investment go?

00:35:07
Speaker 1: Right. Yeah, So I wanna ask you this because.

00:35:11
Speaker 3: As we get older, the chances of having children and like it gets less and less and less. Have you ever had thoughts of like, dang, Like may you know what I'm saying? I I want this thing, but is this even possible? The longer I wait for this man who doesn't have children, I used to have to That was one of my ultimatums.

00:35:29
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want anybody to get kids like liter. I was in college saying that, and my right, I used to think like that.

00:35:38
Speaker 3: And I don't know if it was my mom or a friend of mine someone I was in college and I was like, I do not want anybody that has kids. I just saw the baby mama drama and I did not want that. Like you, My father has four kids by four different ways.

00:35:51
Speaker 2: Wow.

00:35:51
Speaker 3: Yeah, so, but my father is an incredible dad. And someone had to point that out to me. What an amazing far other my dad is and could you not love someone who has children. That changed my mindset and perspective on dating a man with children because of how amazing my dad was, how he honored my mother with the other women to make sure she never felt in fear that there was still anything.

00:36:17
Speaker 1: Going on, because you know, you had those issues too. So I changed my mind on that.

00:36:22
Speaker 3: But as a woman and we're getting older, how do you wrap your mind around I'm still holding on to wanting to date somebody who doesn't have kids when that opportunity for us naturally is fleeting.

00:36:34
Speaker 2: Two things. One, I've dated my first fiance had no kids. Look how good God is He gave me all the experience to choose. Our first fiance had no kids, My second one had kids, two totally different men. The relationship with no kids is more of the relationship for me regardless, and so through my experiences, I know, no, the no kid guy, that's my guy. I'm able to be fully open, fully present with him. There's just that's my thing. I just have to have that. That's a non negotiable. The second thing is, you know, faith is an action word, and you know I was a little girl in the inner city or product of two parents who were teenagers. My mom was addicted to the drug that my father sold and she's now sober, thank God, and she's killing the game. VP of my company, got her own business. She's doing her thing. And my father has transitioned last year he passed away. But before he passed away, he was a family man. He was alongshoreman, a book, he was working, so he transitioned out that lifestyle. I say that to say that God took a little girl in the inner city with abandonment issues and took my broken pieces and made peace from me. He took a little girl in the inner city and took him from the hood to the hills. And there hasn't been one promise, he hasn't one kept or double down on. And so when I had that conversation with God, he checks me and he says, I'm confused. How much more do I need to do for you to tryst that what you want will prevail? How much more do I need to do for you to understand that maybe it's your career that I need you to do right now, because if you have that husband, the type of woman that you are that loves the way you love, you might just put this career aside. And I know how you are, and so let me do what I do. If you're gonna be in my will, and because of my faith in Him and the way he shows up every day, I would be completely dishonoring him and myself, completely disrespecting God and myself to believe or disbelieve that the desires of my heart won't come to pass. And so I'm that woman. I understand Abraham and Sarah. You know, I'm not saying I want to wait till i'm eighty. But what happened with Sarah. She wanted a baby, and she she wasn't barren right, and Abraham was eighty, and she said, we'll go on and have a baby with the maid. And as soon as he had got the maid pregnant, Sarah and their pregnant, and God said, you just couldn't wait a little longer. And then when the maid got pregnant, Sarah said, get rid of this. Excuse my language, where you got to go, because now I'm burying your child. And Abraham was such a g and such a good man and Sarah, he told the maid good day. God had a conversation with the maid in the desert and said, listen, you go back, because you don't know who you carrying. You go back, you carrying what Sarah was supposed to carry. Because Sarah couldn't wait for me. Baby, I'm not listen, ain't no maid and to be pregnant with my blessing. I refuse and I believe in trust that when it's right, it happen. And I really know that that is what allows me not to react or be in despair when I'm dating. That's what gives me the verticalness of being able to stand vertical in what I want and not waivering it because God's like what you wanna, docause You're gonna get your blessing either way. You either gonna get it out after the maid gets it, or you're gonna wait and have what you want and guess what al wait ah wait.

00:40:09
Speaker 1: So I something similar to that.

00:40:10
Speaker 3: I was on the Dear Future WiFi with Latio Sweatfield and he.

00:40:15
Speaker 1: Asked me about.

00:40:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he was asking me about having children. I said, I'm so sick of people saying like I feel like as a woman in our women in our forties, it is the most annoying question is when you're gonna have some babies?

00:40:31
Speaker 2: You know?

00:40:31
Speaker 3: And I told him, I said, I'm my answer is just to stay out of my uterar. It's like people have a friend that literally dms me like every few months, have you frozen your egs?

00:40:39
Speaker 1: Yet have you frozen your egg yet? I'm like, oh my gosh, seriously.

00:40:42
Speaker 3: And I told him, I said, I'm in a space now where I've waited too late. I went to the doctor and she was like, it's too late to freeze your eggs because you don't want to freeze them and then only one may survive. And she said, so at this point, you just try to get pregnantnaturally.

00:40:57
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay and same.

00:41:00
Speaker 3: I've used the Abraham and Sarah analogies exactly like you did. And I said, you know what, where I am where my faith is, if it's meant to be, it will happen, you know, and it's gonna be a healthy pregnancy. The baby's gonna be healthy and live a great life. But I can't put that pressure on myself. But I do feel like because of M the same way I literally said this, we we may be tween.

00:41:21
Speaker 1: Where have you been?

00:41:22
Speaker 3: Because I s I told a friend, I said, you know, I used to pray like God, I have everything, but this one component, like why am I missing the love? Like I want somebody to share this beautiful life with and it would it I'm telling you, I would like sit in my room and be really sad walk into this big, beautiful home, sad to not have anyone to share it with.

00:41:42
Speaker 1: Baby. It's a real thing.

00:41:45
Speaker 3: And I was sitting there and I was like, but I knew. I was like, I literally said, if if I brought you that, I know how you are. I'm always like, what you need, what you need, what you need, how can I help? And I would have been putting so much into that person that I would have let my career go by the wayside. That would have been And I looked back at relationships and I'm like, dang, I wonder what it would have been like. It wouldn't have been like this, right, you know, because there's amount of energy that you have to put into your career to get to the level that you want to get to.

00:42:13
Speaker 1: So I'm with you on that.

00:42:14
Speaker 2: That's good and I'm await. God blesses the bold, and he blesses at the level of our belief. So anything that we want, I feel like, once we pray and every thought, maybe words of prayer, prayers, not just this, I feel like it goes out into the download system and it sits there waiting for our belief to align with it. When our belief aligns with it. It downloads. Yeah. And I used to I was poking at God more like I think maybe about ten years ago or so, and I was like, where are you taking so long? You know? And I was I'm not gonna lie. I was actually mad. I was mad and I said, I'm mad at you. And he's like, well, let's talk about it. Talk to you. I'm mad at you. He's like, well, woman, I created you, so I know exactly what to say to get you to talk to me. And I was like, you do. And so, you know, I had this conversation and he said, what if I told you to trust me, that I know where I'm going with this and that I just I know your heart, I know the plans. And I said, I commit to trusting you. And he said, listen, you've always said that you want you didn't want to be. I was used Kobe Bryant because I love my favorite players rest in peace. You always said you don't want to be Kobe Bryant's wife. You wanted to be Chyenne Briant who's married to Kobe Bryant. He says, so let me establish you and you know what it says, right, It says, those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. He said, I will establish you and make you perfect and count ups like egos. You're walking. I get weary. You're running off fame. Babe, I'm doing all right now. You're doing all of those. And I'm more vertical and more healthy and I've ever been. I told my best friend about a month agu I said, girl, I'm the healthiest I've ever been. And I'm not just talking about like because I got you know, money and consciousness before even all this viral shit even happen. I was like, well, I'm the healthiest open. I've never felt so full. And I want to tell the woman. My prayer was, God, Okay, if you're gonna have me, wait, no problem. But can we negotiate? And he said what? Because he knows how I am? He's like, what, woman? I said, can you just fill me up, tap me off as though I already have the husband, as though I already have the kids, so that the despair and in the turmworld doesn't cause a conflict where I can't show up in your will. I want to show up full for you. And he said back, you got a deal, and I'm not playing. I have been filled up and topped off as though the husband and the kids. I've been so full, so full, and this has been for the past maybe three or four years. I've just been full, and so I don't feel the lack of their not being a presence of my husband and my kids. I'm full. So by the time the husband does get here, I'm choosing again from my fullness. I'm not choosing from my deficit and got to do it. I'm telling you anything you.

00:45:13
Speaker 1: Ask will I'm a living witness.

00:45:16
Speaker 2: You're doing, you know to your point, it's funny the doctor told you you're too Oh the doctor been telling me, let's freeze your eggs. You have eight follicles over here, and you have eleven follicles over here. Let's do it. Yeah, but see, and then that's what I mean by just people going to get expert advice on certain things. It's like you got to get a second third opinion, because right, and I haven't frozen. But my doctor's like, you're forty two, and I'm like, I know, freeze you got follicles. I'm like, I know.

00:45:46
Speaker 3: But even that process, people don't talk about how hard that is on the body.

00:45:50
Speaker 1: Going through that. It's a lot.

00:45:53
Speaker 2: Put your body in the phases though you are Yeah, we don't.

00:45:57
Speaker 1: Talk about that. It's like, just go phrase your eggs. I'm like, you go, like you want me to.

00:46:02
Speaker 3: That's a whole process that I have to put my body through, watching functions to.

00:46:05
Speaker 2: See the eggs are pulling out of it. Yes, it's it is.

00:46:08
Speaker 1: It's a lot.

00:46:08
Speaker 2: And I'm I know, you know what. So if I do decide to do it natural without the eye and frozen eggs yet, but I do know that. I told God. You know, see, if God in lines with my plan, he usually does it. But I tried. I tried it. I did say by the end of next year, I want to be in a place of where I'm doing the do with someone who is going to be my forever dude. And we're just in our baby making season. But I told God, I don't want it until it's on his time. Yes, but to sustain me, keep me topped off because I love it here. I just I love it here. So I'm like, I keep it here. Yeah, and I and I it's easier for me to stay directly you will.

00:46:48
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that.

00:46:49
Speaker 3: It seems like one of your non negotiables, which is having a man who has children kind of also is in direct line with the broken homes that you talk about.

00:46:59
Speaker 1: And I saw you first.

00:47:00
Speaker 3: My first introduction to you is on Cam Newton Show, and you talked about broken homes and broke that down to him. What was it that you saw with your father and your childhood that made you say, hey, I do.

00:47:13
Speaker 1: Not want to repeat this.

00:47:14
Speaker 3: And then also, what are some things that we can communicate just to help communicate better about that so that we can try to I know it's going to be hard to like stop because it's so deeply rooted, but what are some things that we can help our black families understand how we can break this cycle.

00:47:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. Similar to your father, my dad was just the daddy of the year. You know. He was again a street dude, and so I was I'm a product of a street dude at that time when I was young, So you know, he was providing for sure. Yeah, we had the street money. He was definitely protecting because he was a very well respected ooji in his neighborhood and so the provision that protection was there. But he was a womanizer. He always had multiple women. He didn't hide that to me or my siblings. He wasn't a daddy who would, you know, hide his hand but tell you something else. He was very transparent. And what I love most about him is he would always tell me, for man looks like me, speaks like me, smells like me, does anything like me. No red flag, Do not date him. It's you know, on you damn sure by not bring him home because somebody would end up dead or in jail. Don't do it. And I stuck to that, but I remember there was one time I was dating a guy and he was he was a street guy, and everything was like and daddy, you know, and he did give me the daddy vibes, I mean to my daddy vibes. And I met my dad seeing a picture and was like no, And my dad called me every day, Crystal for two weeks, two or three times a day, get rid of him, get rid of him. Of course I got rid of him, but it wasn't because my dad said. It's because my dad was right. He was right, And so for me, I just feel like when you start to create all these houses that are homeless, I think it's a self projection of men who are overcompensating for what they've been missing. I think that they are projecting onto all these houses, which is a whole generation of kiddos and women, their mommy issues, their daddy issues, and their own inadequacies. I think it's unfair to the kids. And no matter how good of a father you are, just like your father, you can't be in the home with all of us. And so I'm not waking up on Christmas Morning with you. I'm still having to either travel to you right or you to me. And it's just unfair to all the other kids. There's seven of us, and we're all close for the most part. My sister who is not she's my father's daughter, she's not my mother's daughter. She's at my home now with my mom staying there because she lives in Vegas, but she has a new job in LA and she calls my mom mama. My mom cooks for her, my mom cleans behind her, my mom packs her lunch to go to work, Crystal, my mama. They go get massaged. When they FaceTime me, it's her and Mama, and so I love this. This is where the oxymoron comes on family. I love that it's seven of us and I love that I'm the oldest, and I love that my mama is the mama to all of them. Yeah, but I tell my mom, you have to be built a certain way to do that, and she always says, yeah, but I was the first baby, Mama. That's right, Mama, she said. If I wasn't the first, I wouldn't have did it. Shy, she says, So Mama agrees with you. Go get you a man like I thought I had with your dad where there's no kids, and start your own family. She said, all I wanted was a family. Didn't know he was going to go out and you know, kids. So I just feel like it's a disservice to everybody who's involved. Until everyone gets to a place of maturity and becoming older and we're able to process, how do we blend and how do we all equally get our love and our time with this parent. Yeah, that's right.

00:50:53
Speaker 1: I love that. So I get it. I totally I understand why you do that.

00:50:57
Speaker 3: You are the president of the Indelac I am, and we just had an election.

00:51:02
Speaker 1: I also worked on Capitol Hills.

00:51:04
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm really big into politics. And I just spoke at North Carolina Central University, and the students there were saying that the morale on campus is so low right now. Everyone was really pulling for Kamala to win, and now we are faced with our future and what it could be, and everybody is really in a low place. What are some tips that you could give our community just kind of help us navigate this because it's so fresh right now.

00:51:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that question. I'm truly honored to be the NAACP president of in Los Angeles for things like twelve years now, I was like the youngest years. I was the youngest president to come in and within my sitting in my branch. Yeah, and I was the first woman. We had all male leaderships who did a great job before me, by the way, Yeah, but I just happened to come in and continue to do their great work. I think most importantly is the messages to Kamala is that you know, since you know, you ran the best election you could run. But I think that her leadership can't stop with this loss of the election. I think that she has to still mobilize our people. I think she should still be speaking to us as a leader. I think she should still be putting together different different not policies, but different call of actions for us as a community to continue to be inspired. Leadership doesn't stop when you take an ail. Leadership continues if you're really in it for the right reasons. I know she didn't show up at Howard HU, which is her you know, her alumni, to address those kids and people who supported her. I didn't think that was a good leadership characteristic. I'm just gonna say it. Even though you know I supported Kamala, voted for her, I just think that wasn't a good leadership role for her to take. And then she sent a man, a black man, out there to do her job. To me, that reinforced to people who aren't ready to have a woman president and a black woman president. That says, look, she sent a man out there to do her job, you see, And so that's the letter, right. Yeah, But I think that that conversation. I think that people like yourself, people like me, you don't need a title to be a leader. You don't need an education to be a leader. If you feel passionate about something, you are a leader. Take that passion, create a committee, create a group, start the conversation, and really start to try to mobilize people around what you're passionate about within your community, and then join your local NAACP branches, join another organization who that you feel is black, brown minority that can push some things out. And I think it's important that we continue to do that. And more than that, though, Crystal, I feel like as as a community of black people, not Republicans are Democrats, but black people, we need to become strategic. Listen, I must go there. White people are very strategic in their politics, They're very strategic in their business tics, so they are planning things out out. Trump appointed a Superior Court judge four years ago who was pardoning him four years later for all of his felons. Felons he had someone ride up qualified immunity for him as a president. I mean this, that's all strategy. We have to become a very strategic community and not just a very here and now what's going on now? We gotta start to strategize, well, who's the next young councilwoman or man who's black that's gonna run for our local cities. Who's gonna be our next black Senate because we also didn't take the House or the seats. Who is gonna be the person who's gonna run for president. I always joke and say it might be me in four years, but it might be a Joe, not the Joe. I might have a bellt on baby number two. And I'm sad. I told y'all the christ that I was gonna run over me, but we got general. And then when say Kamala, she didn't get in office, but she needs to set up this young black leadership and start to groom them. Grooming sometimes as in the wrong way. We need to groom in the right positive way and strategize who we put in an office, from Senate to city council to Congress, all the way through even down to police chiefs of our communities. Can we get a black woman, can we get a black young man, someone in their thirties. Let's groom these folks so that they are mobilized, they are inspired to do more, and we have to support them. One thing about one of my co host Bremnations of Millennials, she's always screaming, y She's always screaming. Now one supports us. I'm like, girl, y'all just lazy. But to her point, there are some that are just lazy. But to her point, they do need support. They do need the people who who came before them, who are running organizations like myself, who are speaking at big schools, who are going to the capitol to say, all right, so what are you passionate about? Like I told you can join my NAACP, I will give you entire committee to put together. I'll put you on the executive board. What you're gonna do with it? I want to see you run something. And so we have to be able to be willing to put them in position and not be the crabs in a bucket. But we're not crabs in a bucket. You know, there's room for all of us and we don't have to be in competition with each other.

00:56:10
Speaker 1: That's good, and.

00:56:10
Speaker 2: We need leadership. We need leadership more now than ever.

00:56:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, for sure, that's amazing.

00:56:16
Speaker 3: You also have a book called Mental Detox, and I want to ask you what do you do to mental detoks after the day? This is like a busy day. You got more to do after this at the end of the day, what are you going to do to mental detalks?

00:56:31
Speaker 2: I either FaceTime my mom or my little brother Shane, and if he doesn't answer, I'm sending him all kinds of emojis, like, what the hell are you doing? That's my detil I get to poke at him he's eleven years younger than me, or meditating, and then what umbrellas? All of that is. I put on a good Bishop Jakeson.

00:56:50
Speaker 1: I love him.

00:56:51
Speaker 2: I don't play by my bishop. Listen, and if I choose you, I'm rolling with you. I tell you I'm committed like that. We're friendships. Oh well, whatever going on going on with you, my bishop. I put on sermons from twenty five years ago up until ten years ago, and I play that, or go to a really good Abraham Hicks video on YouTube where she talks about law of attraction and she talks about the belief and your responsibility, and she also ties in the Bible verse, which is one of my favorite. Think only on these things that are good, that are prosperous in Keithy, that are praiseworthy. And so I remind myself, Shy, would you pray for this? If it's a hard no, next thought, if it's a yes, I penetrate that thought. And so I go to these for me, the bishops, And you know, sometimes Sarah because she's been preaching more for him now, but I'm still a bis. I'm still like the Yeah, he just has a way about me, the voice and the presence. I do that and then you know, I like me time. I find that it's solitude, So I can sit for forty five minutes just be in my solitude. And I also find that that's a way for me to allow God to speak to me. And the relationship that we have, it's it's very humorous. There's a lot of you know, who's your daddy? I tell you so, and I'm always laughing at him. And when you build a relationship with God that's past principles, past biblical past church, past religion, you get to meet yourself and him the true essence of who you are. And it's really beautiful and it's really light, and it's really fun. And that's where you become extremely fearless, extremely fearless, extremely fearless.

00:58:30
Speaker 1: I love that.

00:58:31
Speaker 3: So tell the people what is next for doctor Bryant's love that.

00:58:36
Speaker 2: So I have my new talk, True Talks. Yes I'm Fox so Monday Friday, eight pm Eastern. I have my new book called The Divine Wilderness that should be out next year for sure. Well, it's y'all this book we use. I'm using listen the the Moses journey metaphor with the rest c and the promise and the wilderness. Yeah, I'm gonna have to be ready for this book, my goodness. I have my online Hybrid Certification program where I certify other existing therapists and psychologists and coaches and new coaches on how to apply my hybrid modality, which is therapy and coaching. Because I started off as a marriage from a child therapist transition into a life coach psychology experts, so I couple bad and it's called hybrid effects. Anyways, I have my online school that registration has just opened up, and we have a lot of students who have taken the course and have really amazing successful practices where they're healing and changing lives just like me, and they're just maybe not on these huge platforms, but they're doing it just as good as me, if not better. I mean, I'm so proud of my students. And so I have my speaking tour every weekend for the next year, I am on a speaking to every weekend. So I am on Tonight's Conversation speaking tour coupled with my own Doctor Brian speaking tour. I have my own Chicago. Outside of Tonight's conversation, I have Iowa, I have Michigan again, Detroit, we have la and this is outside Tonight's vertation. But then we also have their tour, so I have co mingled them too. Wo Yeah.

01:00:04
Speaker 1: I have a lot of busy.

01:00:06
Speaker 2: And hopefully you know, I have the husband and the kids. I'm gonna throw that in there. I'm not rushing, you got but I am, but I'm not. But I am, I am, but I'm not, but I'm ready.

01:00:18
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, that is incredible.

01:00:20
Speaker 3: Well, I just want to say thank you so much taking the time, have your extremely busy schedule to come sit down and talk with me. This has been such a refreshing waiting.

01:00:30
Speaker 2: And thank you for having this platform because I've watched some of your some of your episodes, and they have all been so informative, so emotionally just inclined, so touching. And you know, I stick to the Bishop Jakes and Abraham Hicks because it's hard for me to learn a lot. I resonate with a lot, but I don't learn a lot because of how much I do read and how much I am doing what I do every day. But I've learned a lot from watching your episode seriously in your podcast, So when they were poking at me to be on the show, I'm like, go tell her, I'm waiting.

01:01:05
Speaker 1: Oh, I got the memo lauding we heard you.

01:01:07
Speaker 2: So thank you for having this platform because, whether you know it or not, and I believe you know it, you're changing lives because a lot of women can relate to you. They are relating to you, and you're so vulnerable about just your journey of the single woman and wanting to be a mom, and that is more of our story than a lot of women know. And you're giving women a space to feel heard, to feel understood, and to feel valued without having to be a mommy or a wife. And that's huge. We need that. It is and that in itself is what leadership looks like, ladies, So thank you for doing that so much.

01:01:41
Speaker 1: I appreciate you too. It's been amazing.

01:01:49
Speaker 3: Doctor shy Ande Bryant came through and guide us all the way together, as I knew she would. But the part of our conversation that really struck a chord with me was when she spoke about wanting mayor and wanted a family, but knowing that certain things you have to weigh on. And she used the analogy of Abraham and Sarah, and in that she also asked God to fill her up in the places that she may have felt empty, as though they already existed.

01:02:15
Speaker 1: And I love that I never looked at it from that perspective. So I want to challenge you.

01:02:19
Speaker 3: Whatever you feel like you may be missing in your life, pray for those things, but also ask God to fill you up as though.

01:02:24
Speaker 1: They already exist.

01:02:29
Speaker 3: Thank you all so much for watching and all of your support of the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. I also want to thank doctor Chyenne Bryant once more for being our guest. To keep up with all the great things happening in season six. You can follow me on all social media platforms at love Chriserine, and you can also follow our show at Keep It Positive Sweetie. If you want to write into our positive Outcomes listener letter, you can send us an email at keep It Positivesweetie at gmail dot com. In the meantime in between time you know what to do. Keep It Positive, Sweetie, You guys, Next time, t