Milestone Birthdays.

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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Unger. I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are two working parents who love our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. We want you to get the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and forty six, which is first airing May nineteen, which means that tomorrow is a big day. You want to tell us about it? Yes, on May twentieth, nineteen eighty, welcomed Sarah Hart and she yes joined the world at that point. I was about one and a half at the time. But that means that Sarah is turning forty tomorrow. So happy birthday, Sarah, Thank you so much. Yeah, I guess I'm feeling decent enough about it that I propose that we do an episode on milestone birthdays. So we could have just not mentioned it. It can't be that terrible. Either that or we were just digging deep for content. I don't know one or the other. We were tired of talking about the state of the world on coronavirus. Yes, let's do birthdays. Yay, exactly. Yeah, I mean I want you to talk about your fortieth since you have been through this milestone approximately a year and a half ago. Is that correct? That was a year and a half ago. Yeah, so you'll have to tell me. I don't know what to expect. Well, it's not like anything changes immediately overnight. These are all incredibly arbitrary markers of you know, the world has revolved around the sun forty times since you emerged into it. But no, I don't know. I mean forty is I don't know. It just didn't seem quite as milestonish as I guess I thought it might have. But maybe it's just because nothing really did change, or I didn't feel like there was something I wanted to have done by age forty that I hadn't done by age forty. I guess I don't know. It's I didn't feel all that like it doesn't change you as much as say, having your first child, or like landing the job that you really wanted, or even finding that partner, getting married or anything like that, because those are things that do in fact change your life in a way, and an age does not. And it's not like there's like turning twenty one or turning sixteen where there's something you can actually do that you you couldn't have me as what a letdown, So I don't let you do sort of like, well, fifty, you can like contribute extra into your retirement accounts, right so, or at some point in there and start getting like AARP membership of it. Nothing at forty as far as I know, I haven't found out about it yet, so oh well, well, to me, it's still I will say, yes, arbitrary correct, but similarly to the beginning of each year, which feels meaningful to me despite it also being completely arbitrary. I do feel like there are some feelings attached to it, and I think you did too, because you wrote a pretty long post, or maybe it was just like, oh, this is a good opportunity to write this long post. I think on all of your accomplished the accomplishments and like kind of the biggest things you had done up until the age of forty which I thought was pretty cool. Although I do not really plan on doing that. I did it, but yeah, I mean, why not I have a blog streak running. You got it? No, I know, but I wrote a post like that like a couple of years ago, and then Josh was like, wait till you're forty to write that. But now I feel like I don't feel it yet, don't have it somewhere you saved it, you could probably not thirty seven for thirty seven as opposed to the forty for forty? Is that how you struck for forty? Yeah, forty things I'd done by forty. I think I did a hopes for the next decade kind of thing, forty things, and then I did some things i'd learned, so get Yeah, I forget exactly what I did, but it was an opportunity to come up with a few themed ideas and celebrated in my own little way. Since I didn't have a big party or anything, I just did some family celebrations. My parents came over and we went out for dinner. My husband and I did a longish Saturday night date night where we went and got a couple's massage and then went out to dinner. At a nice place. So you know, we did a couple of cool things for that. I'm so jealous. Well, we can talk later in this episode about what I wish we were doing, but definitely not doing anything close to that. Well, let's talk about the upsides. So there are upsides of being forty, particularly professionally. I think you had mentioned I think there are ups and downsides professionally. I mean, I think I mentioned that I think I like being I don't know, it's fun to be sort of the younger one, the more flexible, the one, the one with more potential, and that does start to fade around now. I mean, it is hard to kind of like be the fresh young thing when you're not that young anymore. And then there's definitely a coming to terms with that that I feel a little bit of sadness about, oddly, and I know nothing changes like on a specific date, but you know, it's just acknowledgment of reality that time does pass and you can't be the new one forever and that's fine, but you're right, there are definitely good things that go with that. I had a colleague, one of my pediatric intochronology colleagues, that I did fellowship with that was like very proud of her gray hairs, and she was not. She is not an old looking person. She's very you know, fit and cute and put together. But she never did color her hair. And she's like, yeah, the patients take me more seriously. Like I appreciate these gray hairs. I don't really have that many gray and I'm not really committed to what I would do with them if they be when not if, but when they become more a parent on my head. But I'm not like sad that I'm not great to be like my friend. But that said, of course, you know, you start to look older, and patients probably do you know, take you more seriously or if you can say, you know, I've been doing pediatric undrochronology for ten years, which I have if you count the years of fellowship, which kind of count. And I know one of my colleagues loves to throw around I've been doing this for thirty years and it's like, yeah, well then who's not going to believe what Jesus? So there are upsides in terms of having the experience and being taken seriously or maybe being considered for more leadership types of things. So that's I guess a good thing. Have you found that to be the case, Well, I mean, I'm not in any sort of organizational structure, so it's all what you put out there anyway, I don't know. I mean, I think the thing that helps me people sometimes take me more seriously when I talk about time management or things like that is like the number of children I have, which it doesn't. It's not about how old you are then. I mean, you could be a thirty year old mother of five if you've got a quick start on things, But that seems to come into it more than you know, being a forty one year old time management expert does not in some way make it better than being younger. But one interesting thing, so when we're pitching and promoting this ebook that I've got coming out this summer on working from home, one of the things they put in the advertising copy is that it was drawing on my eighteen years of experience of working from home, and I thought that was WHOA, that is true. In fact, I have been working at home for eighteen years, and that's a long time. But I guess that, you know, since there's a lot of people who've been working at home for approximately two months. That makes it sound a little bit more like there's some sort of seniority there. So well, that's legit. Eighteen years of working at home. It's funny that you said number of children, because I thought you were going to say number of books published or something, and you're like children, Like, let's be branking about. Well, how do you How do you feel physically? I mean it has so the thing for me with forty. So when I was forty, I was not pregnant, but then I got pregnant a few months thereafter, and I definitely feel like it was harder on me physically at forty than it was at twenty seven twenty eight. So I'm curious and the recovery as well. So I'm curious how you've been feeling, Like, do you feel any of the physical affects of it? Well, I have no. I have nothing to add about the feelings of pregnancy being harder because I don't plan to do that experiment. Although I mean, I'm with you, I felt like pregnancy was harder, like even at thirty eight, I guess thirty seven thirty eight that I was for Genevieve compared to thirty one thirty two that I was for Annabelle. Yeah, that does definitely get harder with time, or maybe you just also get more tired of doing it. Plus there's more kids running around, so there's like but no, that won't be a factor for me. I mean, I don't feel bad. I need to think everything was going to fall apart, like oh my gosh, my knees, my aching knees, bathing back's funny. Like from a fitness standpoint, or like even a body composition standpoint, I feel pretty good. And that's probably because I've done more strength training in the last two years than I've done the rest of my life combined, I would say, and I think that has really been helpful. But I will say, like, you know, I used to put a lot of stock in my running speed, and I never felt like I recovered after my third pregnancy, which coincided with being in my late thirties. And I know some women are blazingly fast in their late thirties and set prs and such, but I think for me a factor is that I don't have the willingness to vote to vote. You know, a lot of the women that are setting prs are probably naturally talented women who weren't running sixty miles a week in their twenties. But I was so like I put in the attempt. I don't think my natural is like that amazing. It was what it was like. And I was joking with Josh, like every time I would get to a point where I was like happy with my speed, I would get injured like the next day, because really the amount of miles it took for me to build, like the kind of speed where I could run like, let's say a number of eight minute miles in a row, was exactly like the point at which my body would break down and some tendon wouldn't work anymore. Again, I didn't do superbalanced training back then, but I guess regardless, long story short, like I definitely can't run as fast as I did, you know, a decade ago, And I'm okay with that because that's not really like there's no race. I wasn't winning metals then and I'm not gonna win them now, and that's okay, And I feel like otherwise i'd feel good, Like I don't feel like I need tons of sleep. I'm like happy with the place where my body is, you know, entering forty I don't feel like my metabolism is tanked yet. Now. I know a lot of people are like, just wait, like that's later, that's your mid forties, that's fifty whatever. I'm sure you know. It is a gradual slope, and you have to adapt to that slope along the way because there's it's just the way nature works. But there are some things you can do to counteract it, and then there are some things you can do to just accept it, Like, Okay, things that were routine in your life, like eating certain things might become more like seldom, things that you still can eat sometimes but less often. And I get that, and I accept that, and I have fairly good genetics for this as well. My parents are pretty healthy, have remained fit, you know, into their seventies now, so hopefully, hopefully that will be passed on. I worry more about like the decline of my brain than I do the decline of my body. Actually, I feel like my brain is in decline, but that's because I'm not getting enough sleep. But that's a different way. That's that's that's the infant that's not forty, you know. Well, I do wonder if there is an age related response to that because like I think back to residency, and yes, it was I hated staying up all night like it was torture. But there were definitely weeks upon weeks where I wasn't getting optimal amounts of sleep and I was kind of okay. And now I feel like I'm more sensitive to one or two days with less, Like I just the next day, I'm more foggy. I find myself not able to, you know, function at my highest level. And I don't know if that's a little bit age related as well. It probably is. I mean, I think we'd become much more obsessed with getting to bed on time. Like I mean, I feel you're twenty two, it'd be like, yes, a great party. I'll go to the great party and they'll stay out all late and it'll be fine. And now you're like, yeah, even if it is a great party, I want to be in bed at ten thirty, Like it would take so much to get me to stay out late at this point. Yeah, I think the shifts of the schedule were so easy to recover from when you're twenty five and not as easy to recover from now. I really do want to start more strength training. I mean, I keep saying that, and then I don't so maybe I don't really want to. Yeah, but you did. You asked me some specifics about some of the stuff that you said, how long does that take? And I was like, ooh, she's she's thinking about I mean, the contemplation phase. I guess. I think, well, a lot of people have been raving about the orange theory app as well, so that could be something you could do from home. I think those workouts are like forty minutes long, or my other I did twenty one day Fix, which is just twenty one days, thirty minutes per day to kind of recover from Genevieveman. I felt like it was a great like twenty one days. Maybe I can't do. I mean, I'm also giving myself permission at this point to not worry about much of this until children are out of my percent. And between the children being in the house twenty four to seven and breastfeeding a baby every three hours, I just I don't I get a run in like two miles most days, and that's about all that's going to happen at the moment. And that's great, I'm telling myself, you know, And when he is a year old, or so it'll that space will start to open up. By the time he's two, it will definitely open up, and then I can be a little bit more focused on that. Although I am still signed up for the marathon in the fall, so if it happens, I'm going to try. I mean, I ran seven miles last weekend and it felt pretty good, so I can do it. It's just that's exciting. I don't I don't want to make space. No, we talked about doing We talked about a marathon, and I talked about it during my fortieth years, specifically when we had another Mother Runner Sarah bone Shay episode, and I would still consider it. I love the strength right now. But like for me, I think that's it's a nice like seasonal thing because running is so much nicer here in the winter, and then it's not so nice in the summer. So it could be like, you know, I have two seasons, kind of like like i'rea yes, yes, we are the opposite. Running is not fun in January here, whereas running in you know, June is is quite lovely. Yeah, even July and August, if you get out early enough, it is usually quite fine. I mean, there's rarely a day in the Philadelphia region that it doesn't get down to the seventies at some point, so you just have to time it for that. Yeah. Yeah, for us, if we're lucky, I mean, we might get like a low of like seventy nine, but then it's like a sweaty seventy nine. It's still kind of gross. All right. We do have to take a quick ad break, and then I want to talk about hormones. Ooh, well, we are back talking turning forty, which Sarah is doing tomorrow when this first airs, and apparently now we are going to talk about hormones. So I'm not the extrat ones like you. You take it. You take it from here, although you've probably got lots of competing personal experience by that, but not no actual actimal expertise. Right now, you probably have very high prolactin and very low lh FSH and probably estrogen as a result of your prolactin being high, which is an interesting state to be in, and I think it has some interesting effects. But like what we can I don't know, Like I felt like more emotionality, but then also like a little bit of like I wonder if it's like part of what allows you to wake up when you hear the baby cry, and like all kinds of different, you know, baby centric effects on your brain, which would make evolutionary sense that the hormones which allow you to lactate also kind of put you in a protect the baby kind of a mode. So yeah, I think there are some effects. That's I have not reviewed the literature on that recently, so that's a little speculative, but there you go. But I will tell you from my own personal hormonal experience that my late thirties was when I really well you know going back, don't. I don't know when my issues with mood variations along the cycle really began because I spent many, many years on birth control, then many years pregnant and breastfeeding, so who knows, but I certainly felt them very acutely in my late thirties post Genevieve, and I've talked about on this podcast a little bit before because I think these things are worth talking about and I have no problem so talking about it. So I I mean, I checked off all the boxes. I'm not a psychiatrist, but if I had to diagnose myself, which I kind of did, I think I had PMDD, and my obigi in agreed with me. And PMDD, for reference, is pre menstrual dysphoric disorder, which is when you just are a complete mess for the weeks prior to your period. And for me, this was like I was starting to calculate it. At first, I was like, oh, it's just a few days, and I was like, actually, it's like seventeen out of thirty days, which is not except to know that's not acceptable. So I ended up going on a hormonal birth control at the recommendation of my obigin and doing some of my own research. And I know I'm like on the older side to be doing that, but it helped me so much, Like see change. I've never been on an SSRI, but I mean now I'm kind of like, okay, okay, medicine can really help you when it comes to moods, because for me, I guess my moods well, I figured it out they were very hormonally mediated because it was completely luteal phase. Like whenever my progesterone was high, I was a mess. And by taking this medicine every day, I have none of those swings and I just I almost feel like I'm just calmer overall. So that's amazing. And then the one thing I just wonder is as I get older, like what's the cutoff point? Like you can't take it until you're sixty, I know, but I don't actually know what the sort of deadline is for safety because at some point there could be an increased risk of blood clots or strokes or that kind of thing. So I'm going to rely on my ob who I love to kind of tell me when that time is. And then you know, if it's late forties or mid forties, I know, there's other hormonal things that you can do. So if the issues come back again, there's there's other things I could try, and at some point it stops being a menstrual cycle thing anyway, right I mean correct, correct, Yeah, yeah, but I mean that could be that could be a fifty time yeah exactly. Yeah. So anyway, that's been something that's come up around the age of forty. For me, that was kind of a big deal, but thankfully was able to find a solution. And there's other things that work for people as well. I mean, some people respond well to therapy, some people respond well to SSRIs like Zoloft actually has a number of studies where if you take it for like the luteal phase, it actually helps symptoms in some patients, which goes against everything I was always taught about SSRIs in medical school, which was like, oh, they are long acting, they take a really long time to work. But there's actually data to prove that it does help some people. So that's, you know, another option. It wasn't the road I ended up going down. But if this is affecting, you talk to your doctor about various choices, because it does often effect kind of in that perimental benopausal period, and it is not something that you should just assume is not treatable. Yeah, I know, maybe we'll have to do a whole episode on I think we did. I think we've had enough AC and let's talk about an a puzzle horror. I love that your friend in the note we should have we should have an obiji Oh my gosh, if I could get my obijiba and to be on she's amazing. She has at least one child. She could talk all about this, so who knows, maybe we'll have an expert. Well, let's talk about your goals, Sarah, other than keeping your hormones at acceptable levels. Are what are your goals for your forties. I do not have a lot of goals, because I am very I set a lot of goals anyway, and I don't feel like I need to add a whole other list. I did as I wrote the email to you, I sort of thought about it. I just really want to make sure that it's just a reminder that life is finite. It's fairly it's long and it's short, depending on how you look at it. And I want to make sure I'm living kind of the life that I want to live, keeping in mind that statistically, maybe i'm halfway through, maybe I'm ninety five percent through. Maybe I'm ninety nine point eight percent through. If today turns out to be a really bad day too. But I don't think i'll air this episode as is. If that is the case, true, well you can air it in my honor, and I'm just gonna okay, we'll stop. I will say that I would love to be financially for Josh and me to be financially independent by my sixtieth so we've got like a twenty year timeline. I feel like that's doable. I know what we've already kind of set on that path and done some calculations. Again with the state of the world, who knows, but we can at least try making some assumptions based on history, and I will say, like there's something about forty or I don't know. Yeah, just being able to say forty that makes me less concern with peers or like society's script for what life is like. You know, It's like, if I'm halfway through, why would I want someone else's ideas for what my life should look like to dictate what I'm doing with it. So I don't know, just want to be a little bit less apologetic in life. I like that. That's a good goal. So what were you going to do? Let's celebrate your fortieth birthday. Oh, this will be a fun discussion, Okay. So I had booked a three day trip to Washington, DC area with Josh that we were going to do songs kids. And the reason I had picked that area is because I looked up what the three star Michelin star restaurants were, and I mean, we had previously done French laundry. I didn't want to go all the way out there, and I just figured, let's look for something different. And I came up with in it Little Washington, which is like this lovely, like very historic estate in rural Virginia. I think it's like an hour and a half away from DC, maybe two hours. And I was like, Oh, that would actually be really kind of fun and you can stay there. So the thing is, when we went to French Laundry, we were like passed out in a playground. We went for lunch, we had to recover, which was actually kind of fun. Like I have very fond memories of that little adventure, but it's kind of funny. And so the idea is like, oh, we could have like a luxurious dinner and we'd already be home, like we have to drive anywhere. We would just like roll into our you know, lovely, luxurious hotel room. So I thought this would be a lovely way. I had my birthday booked, I had the night booked. They have a really weird schedule, like they're closed on Tuesdays. On my birthdays a Wednesday, and I couldn't get Thursday night. So we were going to do kind of like a one night there and then go back to DC. And I had plan on a pilgrimage to the Aeron Condren store in Fairbax, Virginia, because why the hell not I and I mean here there again, no apologies, Like I want to see the Aeron Condren store, and this is a great time to do so. So for those uninitiated, Aaron Condron just makes very colorful, happy stationery and planners and lots of different things. And I've seen photos of the stores and they just look so rainbowy and inviting, and I wanted to see it. And then we were going to include, you know, some trips into the city, maybe find some more casual but fun places to eat, and then a spa day of like couple's massage. So I had I mean I really like and I spent some time planning this. On the upside, I enjoyed every second of planning it because it was like anticipatory fund to put it all together. And you know what, I still had that fun even though it's not happening. So yeah, maybe you can do it for twenty twenty one. I mean, obviously celebrated for forty first birthday is slightly less exciting, but it can still work. I would totally do it for twenty twenty one. I felt so bad when I called to cancel this at the place, you know, this, this places which has been around for ages. They're like, yeah, we only have one person working here on the phones now, and we're really hoping that we can like survive this. So oh my goodness. I mean I would happily book for twenty twenty one. Now as long as I knew that, you know, nobody was still traveling, I could cancel it. But yes, I will use that planning in the future. So that's what we're going to do. And instead I think, well, okay, what are you going. Yeah, I may convince I haven't fully Josh has already said kind of, but I haven't like fully solidified it. But I think I'm going to use some of the funding that was going to go into that trip to work on my wardrobe because that was something that is a fun little project that I started, and why not. I mean it seems kind of appropriate. And then my Josh is going to cook me dinner. I think he talked about doing something like one of my favorites and trying to make like a restaurant quality meal with scallops or something like that. I don't know what we're gonna do with the kids. Maybe we'll give them pizza, and like, I haven't watched a movie while we do this, so that we can have a little celebration, or because the problem is they're not going to eat the fancy meals. Maybe they will, but I don't know. We haven't completely solidified the involvement of the kids, who will obviously be home, but we'll figure that part out and then we'll probably drink some wine. And I have been into like karaokeing with my husband while he plays guitar and we have a really flattering microphone, so I think there'll probably be some like wine fueled singing on my fortieth birthday, because why not? You should that's wort it, you should record it. That'll be our best of both world's No, how about not? Maybe I'll maybe I'll like do an Instagram story that's that's that gets deleted, that not out there, So so yeah, low key, I'm sure I'll get some lovely texts hopefully, And you know what I don't want. I definitely do not want a drive by. I'm kind of like over the drive by. I haven't actually gone to any drive buys. There's something like weirdly unappealing about drive bys to me, and I'm sorry, I'm gonna offend a lot of people. If you enjoy drive bys, you should absolutely do the drive bys and like enjoy them. But like, yeah, well, I was slightly worried that you were going to say the thing I was going to send to you. It'd be like the one thing I don't want is It was gonna be the one thing I don't want is whatever Laura was. Laura was coming you like, well, I'm gonna go back to the drawing board. Then, well, sounds so funny. It'll be a nice day. So we're all wish Sarah a happy birthday. If you're listening to this on the first day it's out May nineteen, make sure you wish her happy birthday tomorrow. You can read a comment on her blog at the shoebox that's th e s h U b o X. You could do it on her Instagram page or the Best of Both Worlds Instagram page. You can you know, any of any of those means of contacting her, so thank you, or if you want to leave us a positive review on Apple podcast. Oh yeah, that would be an amazing birthday, Sarah. Yes, that would be great. That's awesome, all right, well, let's go to our question. So I'm going to compress this a bit to make sure that she's anonymous. Yeah, so this is about a listener who's considering a professional opportunity, and she wanted our feedback on whether it was, you know, we were going to say, oh, that sounds great or that sounds insane. So anyway, she is has one job where she lives near her ex husband and their ten year old daughter. The ten year old daughter is with the father most of the time during the week. She lives a car ride away, but she is considering a job that would take her for maybe a year or two somewhere that would be a plane ride away. Now, this would be a very prestigious job. It would be very exciting for her professionally. The question is she would be flying back a lot, since she normally has the daughter on like two to three weekends a month and any longer breaks. So she was saying, well, is this crazy that I would consider taking this? And then I would maybe on those weekends when I would normally have my daughter fly back on Thursday, work at home on Friday, and have her there the weekend and then fly back Monday morning or Sunday night. Is it crazy to be a plane ride away from my daughter instead of just a car ride away from the daughter? In terms of that limiting her involvement, I think we should mention the car ride as a long car ride. Yes's a short car ride. It's a few hours, correct, Yeah, because it's not twenty minutes, all right, so they don't live a day different anymore. Yeah. Yeah. And so she wanted to know did we think she was crazy to take this job? And my thought was, no, I don't think she is. I think I mean, obviously you'd have to work out in terms of the whatever your custody agreement is, that this might need to be gone over carefully. And I think part of the issue is somewhat of a tense co parenting relationship with the ex, so this is going to be a difficult discussion. But then she would not be immediately available, for instance, if he needed her for something during the week, so that would be a little bit harder. But if she decided to make it work, she certainly could do that flying back and forth, and she could also decide in the middle, like, you know, this isn't working. She said, she didn't actually have to completely give up what she was doing before that she could take a leave of you know, it's hard to describe, but she would probably be able to go back to her other job if she wanted to so, and the opportunity is a prestigious opportunity that likely could lead some other career options for her. Yeah, or if nothing else, her previous employer would be excited that she would have done it right, and then she'd come back and have that gold star on her So, you know, I thought, Yes, it's going to be tough, it will be a lot of flying, it will require working, you know, more with your ex on coordinating this, and given that that's not an entirely happy conversation, that's going to be emotionally fraught. But on the other hand, I think she's going to be very from the way the email sounded, I think she was going to be very unhappy if she didn't do it, and you know, she could try it. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but then she at least knows and isn't From a pure logistics perspective, time tracking wise, like, I don't think this would be that different just because she was previously driving back and forth three hours. That was three hours. She couldn't do anything other than maybe take phone calls and you know, listen to things. Now she's going to be going to airports, but the flights would probably be three four hours. Maybe she'd be spending a little more time in the airport, but she could work during that time. Obviously, she's going to rank up in her status with the way that she is flying, so if she did need to come back at fairly short notice, she probably could do that. I mean, we're talking about big cities, so as long as she's able to afford this type of commute, I almost think she should just think of it as like if she's already three hours away anyway, now she's three hours away via a different vehicle. And in fact, it's probably easier to get work done on a plane that you are not lying than it is in a car where you are doing the actual driving. So I don't know. I feel like, yes, her scenario is really unusual to start with, but I'm not sure that this is going to be truly that different. With a little bit of kind of bending, yes, there's like a little bit of lost flexibility, but honestly, if you really drill down it's not that much because she can still get back pretty quickly if she needs to, and with it opening up so many potential avenues for her career, I think that if she wants to do it, I don't see that many reasons why she shouldn't. I don't think she's insane at all. Yeah, I say, go for it. All right? Well, then we both we both validated that one, because I think that was much world. Yes, all right, well, this has been our love of the week, Sarah. What's your what's your love of the week? I mean, is it turning forty? Did I forget? Oh? I forgot to put a love of the week in this particular one. Hmmm, you do yours first, I'll think of mine. Hmmm. Oh okay. Actuateora package. My Sephora package did arrive, and so I was very happy about that, and I was reminded of how much I miss the product Good Genes by Sunday Riley, which is a lactic acid thing that's like the only I don't know of all my products. It's the one that, like, my face feels noticeably different when I don't have it, and I only use it every other day, and it's disgustingly overpriced, but it's yeah, that's my love of a week. Yeah, honestly, I mean mine is like shopping via my phone. I this whole quarantine thing, Like I cannot imagine how this would have worked with you know, all this stuff like the household needs if this had been before the era when you can just open an app from some shopping site on your phone and click, click, click and get it. And just so, yeah, I haven't all been doing Amazon. I mean, yes, Amazon is a chunk of it, but then like I've been doing other places too, like overstock and home Depot and all these other places. And my husband actually loves to order from like individual small companies. Yeah no, I mean I used to fight Amazon in that way. And yeah, a lot of times you get great customer service. Well, especially Amazon has slowed down some of their shipping on items, like you actually are just as well off ordering from some places. They may not be able to match Amazon's like overnight shipping, but then they're not doing that for a lot of items now anyway, so most places allow for that. I mean, I know your your sister's store for instance, right, the warm and fuzzy yarns there uh, yeah, they share your yarn there have online, so yeah, it's it's been like the fact that I can order something while I'm nursing a baby, for instance, even in a dark room, it just seems like whoo time deepening. Glad I can multitask like that. All right, Well, this has been best of both worlds. We've been talking about Sarah's fortieth birthday, so wish her a happy birthday tomorrow and we'll be back next week with more on making work and life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more on making work and life work together.