Serena P. Talks Emotional Departure and Seeing Matt for the First Time at ‘Women Tell All’

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Speaker 1: Welcome back Happy Hour listeners. And as we are recording this, I just had a thought cross my brain, and that is, we only have two weeks left of Matt James this season. Obviously we saw everything go down last night. We are going to do a quick recap today, but next week is the finale, which is crazy to think. I feel like this season has been so long at times and then so short at times. But I can't get into the recap and I can't get into our amazing guests that we're having on later without some incredible reinforcements. So I thought I would bring none other than my girl Tasha back. So Tasha, welcome once again to Bachelor Happy Hour. What is I'm so happy to be back. Honestly, this is very fun and honest I don't want to tell my co host that I'm here, like it feels like doing something a little naughty, to be honest with you, but like, well they don't know, it doesn't hurt, you know what I mean? So let's have some fun. This is, you know what I've I've heard this many times this week, But it's better to ask for forgiveness and permission or for permission, so you know, We're just going to get into this. Joe and Natasha and click bait can get at you after this, But um, while we have you here, we have to get into it because, like I said, we have an incredible guest coming on today, one that I think fans have been asking for for a while, and especially after the gut runching goodbye and her hot scenes on Women Tell All. So very soon, you guys, we will be bringing on Serena pa I can't wait to have her sit down and just pick her brain a little bit more of like what was actually going through her mind when she said her goodbyes, when she self eliminated and also when she saw him again at Women Tell All, because I know from experience that scene and X is never easy, it's uncomfortable, Like so, I just want to hear woman to a woman like what was going through her her brain and her heart at that point. But before we do, it's a spicy week, you guys. It's it's fantasy Sweet Week, and it's so funny because we both as leads have lived through fantasy in a Sweet Week as a contestant and getting in our heads knowing like that the sky that we like that we're falling for that we're dating, that we're trying to potentially end up with at the end, is seeing other women. And then we've also lived it on our side where it's like the ball was kind of in our just say, the balls were kind of in our core and like we got to do several of Yeah, they literally were like yes, serious, yes, And so it's like, you know, in that moment, you're kind of like living this high and you're like, oh, this is everyone's dream. I'm you know, it's so fun to be able to do this. But you've had the most recent fantasy suites because you know it was your season last season, So what is it like remembering like reliving those moments and then watching it back on a different season. Oh my gosh, I just remember how like intense that week was for me because I am such I guess I'm not really reserved, but it's not typical that I take like three to four guys guys into a fantasy suite, let alone date twenty of them. But what I'm trying to say is I just remember, you know, how many emotions you're going through and like trying to really just feel out each relationship and seeing where that's going and really trying to see those people in your life like long term. And I was feeling for matches because I know how stressful that week is, but also for the girls because you can get really in your head and get very self conscious. You have no idea how the other relationships are going. I mean, you know, especially now, usually the women are separated, but they're in the same hotel, so they're seeing each other. They're seeing each other come back and from the dates and whatnot, and you can see if they're happy, if they're upset, like whatever it is. And so I had only imagine how it feels for that. That was like my one takeaway, Like and I honestly like, I don't think we need to get into like a date by date night by night, because like it was pretty standard. It was very straightforward, like nothing two major really happened with the individual overnights. But like the fact that the women still have to live together and see each other and talk about it, that in itself has to be difficult because I remember on my time on The Bachelor, like and I was separated from the girls. We were all in separate hotels. I didn't see them saying like and so I can't even imagine, And I was so in my head at that point. I was like, I'm going stir crazy, just like pacing my room back and forth, being like, you know, I have this really strong connection and I feel so confident, but like he's having a nice little slumber party with somebody else, and you just like run through all of these scenarios in your mind runs away with you. And the fact that like these girls have to sit down and I'm sure eat some meals together and talk about like things that they don't want to necessarily talk about with people that are, you know, dating the same man. Like it's that. That was like one of my major points that I was like, God, that sucks, Like, yeah, I mean because I feel like, you definitely want to try to stay I don't know, in your own line, I think about only your relationship and knock, start to compare and do all that kind of thing, do all that kind of stuff, but you are forced to literally be in that situation and be like, so, how was it. I don't care how it was? But their dates look like they've written really well. I think Matt Michelle have such an amazing connection. Bree and him, I think had such a conversation that was really tough for her and for him, And I'm so happy they were able to bond, you know, um with their dads and everything. And as far as like Rachel in the pottery date, I feel like it kind of started off a little rocky, but well, there's always a one. There's always that one person that I swear they always save them for last. Yeah, head, like, so I get it, like there's always that one. But speaking of the conversation like that he had with Bree, and you know, he he had mentioned well and he had mentioned it to most of the girls that he had finally had this very uncomfortable, i think, long overdue conversation with his father. Right, let's get into this, because I'm sure we have like maybe different thoughts, but like watching that conversation when his dad came in, I felt for Matt in that moment, like honestly, and maybe it was just me, like, who at this point in my life, I don't have a father in my life because he had passed away. Like watching this conversation was so gut wrenching to me, but it also made me feel slightly uncomfortable, Like it like I felt like personally, it's something that I shouldn't be watching, like it should not have been aired, like this was such a hard It was very intimate, very intimate conversation that like part of me wish he would have had it. I think it was needed for both of them, but like also I wish it would have been kept private a little bit and in the same boat with you. It was very gut run ching. In fact, I was crying just because I can tell, like he had so much emotion and there was so much hurt there, and even his dad just like you can tell that he knew that he had hurt Matt. You know, it was very heavy, and I feel for him so much. But I'm happy they had the conversation. But I have to agree with you, it seemed I wish the conversation would have happened like behind closed doors. But I think another beautiful thing about this like journey is that it really puts you in uncomfortable positions to really face feelings that you're having and have these tough conversations, especially with the girls, but also with your family, like I had some of my dad, Like I never used to talk to my dad about like Madden and whatnot, but you have to do it at some point. And so I felt kind of awkward, no why that it was so intimate, But I'm so happy they were able to finally have that conversation because it seems long overdue. Yeah, and I think Matt said it best he made and I might botch exactly what he said, so please bear with me. But he made the comment like this isn't going to be fixed in one conversation, Like this isn't Jeremy. It's gonna take time. It's gonna like something that's going to have to continue to happen. I'm glad that he recognized that and that he said that because it's so true. It's not something that can just be fixed in a fifteen minute conversation on national television. So I think moving forward, I just want to leave it at this is like I hope that they started this solid foundation where they can continue to build off of that and continue to have conversations and being each other's lives in some capacity. From what we saw, it was the start of that, and they were able to hug it out, and I think Matt was able to feel some sort of weight off of his chest. So I truly just like praying home that he continues to fight for that with his father, if that, if that is indeed what they both want. So absolutely, Oh of this entire episode, that was like one of the most I think potent moments that that we saw go down. That really stuck out to me. Same here. I mean, I don't think we've seen such like a raw conversation before. Yeah, exactly, Yeah, so's it started with the heavy It then got into the little hot and heavy if you will, with the little overnight fantasy sweets, which we won't get into because you know, we saw it all go down. Nothing major, major happened. It was just pretty standard. Yeah, very standard, your typical fantasy sweet Weeks. There's always someone in their head. There's always awkward moments like, um, shout out to Bree for continuing to stay classy and elegant and so poised and respectful, like when she was going home, my heart goes out to her. No breakup is ever easy, So Brie, you are credible. I'm sure hopefully at some point we'll maybe have her on the podcast. We'll see. But interesting, guys, we just have to bring on our girl because it's time for the women of the Hour. Like I said, people have been asking for her, so you guys, let's just bring her on. She made the tough decision to send herself home after the hometown dates, and we saw her and Matt have some wonderful closure on woman till all. But today she's going to be here to answer all of our and your questions because so many of you submitted so many questions, so thank you. So without further ado, you guys, please welcome Serena Pee alrighty, well, first and foremost, Serena, Welcome to Bachelor Happy Hour. We are so excited to have you, mainly because I'm selfish and you've been one of my favorites this entire season. So I just want to start it off asking how are you? How have you been since film? And Philison? Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here, so thanks for having me. I've been good. Life has been crazy. This is not I thought I would be, but I'm super happy to be here. And you know, the support I've received is amazing. So I've really been receiving and feeling nothing but very loved and supported lately. That's so good. How did you we always asked this question just because I'm we're so intrigued of how anyone ever gets on the show. But how did you initially get on to Matt season? So I applied like very late in the application process. I applied because it was Matt he got announced, and I applied about two months later. I think it took a little bit of pushing and shoving from my mom and my sister, but they finally broke me down and got me to apply. So yeah, I stilled out something online and the ball kind of started rolling and kept rolling, and that I ended up on the show, So I'm so exciting. My sister, Yeah, that's so exciting. It was then like propelling you to do it, and then you made it as far as you did, and they got to meet him too, So it's crazy. You know, I've been a fan of the show for years that I never imagined myself actually going on it. So it definitely took some encouragement to get me that place, but I'm grateful for it. Do you think you would have applied had it been any other Batchel or was it solely for the fact that it was mister Matt James. No, it was definitely very much because it was Matt James. I think, you know, COVID in the State of the World obviously has a factor in that citin, But I couldn't have seen myself applying not knowing who the bachelor was. That would have just been difficult for me. I saw that obviously, He's an incredibly good looking guy and just kind of the few things I've seen from him on the internet. I remember thinking, like, if I'm not this guy at a bar, I think we'd hit it off, Like I think I would shoot my shot with him, and I love that. Yeah, I mean I feel like we did end up having a great connection. So well, speaking of connections, I mean, you guys seemed to hit it right off the bat, like you were one of the very first girls to get that one on one date. So two part question, A did you feel that spark right away, like that insect connection? And B did you expect to get a one on one with him so early on? I think it's hard to know when that one on one's coming. Everyone's helpful for it right off the bat. I definitely felt that connection from night one. I mean it was just really easy and natural between us. We had great conversation and it never felt forced. There's obviously be an attraction there. I mean from the first group data, our relationship really hit the ground running. So getting that one on one early on was it was great because I felt like our relationship was on a fantastic track. So to have that extended time to just propel it that much more forward, I mean it was I was really lucky you'd that received it. Yeah, I definitely feel like I saw a spark between you guys really early on. Did you did you feel like that as well? Especially with the one on one coming on, I feel like, I don't know, you kind of have like an idea or like a little bit of an instinct like, oh my gosh, I feel like we're doing really well. This might be me, Like did you kind of have an idea or did it totally take you by surprise? No, I can definitely relate to that, I think. I mean, after the first group date, we had, like had a great conversation and we kissed and I was like, oh my gosh, there's a huge start there. So I definitely felt that week. I was definitely feeling like it could have been me on that date. Car. Yeah, and you never know. I think a lot of girls feel that, but because of how strong our relationship was so early on, I was hopeful and felt like there was a good chance that I was kind of in the running for that date. M Okay, Serena, I have to say, because you, like you from the beginning, were somebody who seemed so easy going, oh he's laughing. Just you had this like beautiful spark of energy about you that like, really, I feel like you were just like down for anything as long as you were with Matt, enjoying the moments, like you were open to it. But you kind of did get the short end of the stick because your first one on one with Matt, obviously you had what like donkeys or ponies all up in your face, like as you're trying to make out with him, and then you're It was the second one on one date, which was the yoga date, that you really could tell you were out of your comfort zone. You did not seem to enjoy it, Like what was going through your head during the time of the yoga date where you just like gosh ding it another date where it's just like uncomfortable, Like talk us through your thought process in that second one on one, yeah, definitely. So going to the second one on one, I was obviously over the moon. I was not expecting it because it was a second one on one, so I was like, what are we doing and so excited. And I remember someone had said, oh, do you think you're doing like yoga or cantric yoga. I really hope not, but let's see. And then we showed up and sure enough, I know, cantric yoga there we were. You know, a lot of people have said, oh, it was so obvious she wasn't intimate on that date and they didn't have chemistry and they didn't have this connection, and for me, that really wasn't what it can damn thro. I'm very attracked to Matt. We were extremely affectionate through our entire relationship with each other, and I loved that component of it. I just didn't love the forced intimacy, and I was pretty vocal about that, and I think that's why, you know, when I told Matt later it wasn't my thing, I don't think he was completely thrown off or shocked. I did say, though, it's not something I would do again. I didn't feel comfortable, but I was glad to hear that he enjoyed that experience and he felt like it bonded us and throw our relationship because at that point I was still very invested in him and very invested in us, and to hear that he gain something from that experience, I was like, Okay, I didn't like it. I won't do it again. But there's a silver lining here, and that was that it meant something special to Matt. And yeah, I mean everything I said, I feel one hundred percent. It just really wasn't for me. It wasn't in my comfort zone. And when it comes to physical intimacy, I don't think that's an area where you should really be forcing yourself out of your comfort zone in a little Yeah, but it wasn't to be super organic. And I f like, okay, like you have to kiss him, now, kiss do this and that, especially when you're it's a new relationship, and so like, I don't know, I totally get that, Yeah, especially when it's a new relationship, like that's not something that anyone would usually pick to do on a first date probably, and so the fact that, yeah, adding in that added layer of like you're not only around a crew who is filming this, but like you know your family is going to be watching this back in a few short months, and like, how do you explain this? And hopefully it's not where I totally get that, Like you're talking to the girl who watched the Fantasy Suite week with her entire family, and I was like, this, Oh, not how I want to be spending my time right now. I made sure not to do that. Yeah, you're smart, You're smart. I totally get it. So, Serena, if you're ever in that position in the future, like bad Shurette on Paradise, like just don't watch it back with your family. But right now, how has it been happened? Because obviously, like they were shown because you did make it so far, you did make it to hometowns. So how is it watching the entire season back with them? What do they have to say? Like are they supportive? Like is it there like girl who they know and love? Like are they seeing you reflected as who they know you are on TV? And then how excited were you for Matt to finally meet them? So I have been at home because we're in lockdown in Canada, still in a lot of areas, So I have been watching every episode was basically just my family and specifically my parents. So there's definitely been a couple of awkward movements, but they are They're so supportive and they're super proud of me, which is so great. I'm very happy they got to meet that. They really loved him, and they really loved being able to come and meet him and kind of share that experience. It's really unique having had my family come because it's one of those things I say to my friends, You'll never fully understand what I went through because you watch the show, but there's so much behind it, but my family actually does, so I feel really privileged I've kind of gotten to share that with them. But yeah, watching it back is unique. But a lot of the feedback from family and friends has just been that the person I am sitting on the couch in my house is the same person you see on TV. And that was kind of my goal in the show was to just stay ground and who I am and put my whole stuff on the table, you know, claws and all, Matt, this is who I am. Make a decision if you like me or not. Because we only got a couple of weeks, and I think that my family and friends were able to see that. So that's been kind of cool to hear that feedback. We like nervous or excited at all? Like what tell me your thought process? Like what were you hoping to come out of your hometowns? Like were there some hesitations that you had? What was going on our hometowns? Yeah, so going into hometowns, I was kind of starting to have those debts that you saw boil over. I was starting to recognize that there might be something there that pulled me back when I was just so hopeful that I was going to feel I was gonna be like I'm in love. After that day, you know, I was falling in love. I really wanted to get there. We had this amazing relationship on paper. There was just nothing wrong. I couldn't figure out any reason to have these doubts, but they were there. So I was like, my dam is going to meet him, so they're gonna love him. It's gonna be phenomenal. It's gonna be rainbows and butterflies and unicorns, and I'm gonna be ants when I leave today. And that's always not what happened. But that's not to say that it was it was that. It was just I got clarity. I just think gets the clarity that I walked in hoping to get right. I was able to really figure out where I was at. And I'm glad that that happened that week versus a week or two down the line. You know, I don't want to be I'm mine or Matt. So I'm happy that I was able to have that reflection with my family and also then take it to reflecting on myself, like where am I at? Where is it going? Like there's only a few weeks left. Yeah, let me let me ask you this because So we talked about you sending yourself home last week on our podcast and kind of like, so, and this was me and this is why I'm so happy we have you on to kind of clear the air a little bit. I was watching it and I said something along the lines of like a lot, like on paper, Matt looks perfect, like he probably checks all the boxes at this point that she would want, but maybe just like that that like one spark, the like passions not there like whatever it might be like, there's like just something missing. So knowing that and then having your family sit down and be like, you know, you don't seem like you're fully committed. You don't seem like you're all in or ready for this. Like had they responded differently in that moment, would you still do you think have self eliminated or had they been like fully supported, all in, like, oh yeah, you see it, he's great, go for gold. Would you have stuck around longer? Do you think? Um, potentially, I think that has that, you know, not ended our relationships in the following weeks, I still might have. I think I still might have gone to that place on my own. It might have just taken me a little bit longer because what the audience didn't get to see with my family being like, if you fall in love and getting gaze this guy, we'll throw you. If he's party and be thrilled for you. I mean he's great. He seems like he really cares about you. You seem like you could be a great fit together. So we're happy either way. They were very much this is what we see and this is what we hear from you, and those are some things that you need to address within yourself. But if you come to us and say, nope, I fell in love, we got engaged, this is all great. They would have been totally happy. So it really wasn't them pushing me in a certain direction. It was them picking up on those notes that I was having when I was trying to express myself and talk about my feelings and struggling to do so. And you had like a very emotional conversation with your mom and she brings up your past relationships and looking back, do you think that that's affected your ability to move forward with that? I don't think that was what affecting my ability to move forward, Like I don't see what I went through my past relationship as a block. Yeah, I think what it was was in my last relationship, I really trusted my gut and that relationship ended in heartbreak and pain. So I was struggling to trust my gut again with Matt because I didn't want to make the wrong decision and I didn't really know where my gut was leading me because I wanted I wanted it to work out. But that's kind of what I got to with my mom in that conversation while I was so emotional, and there was a lot going on that whole week, and I mean, you can you've both experienced at hometowns, it just gits a lot, you're very aware of the soom engagement that's coming up. So I was really overwhelmed. I was struggling to trust myself in that moment and struggling to just figure out what this feeling in my gut was. Was it fear? Was I just scared of getting heartbroken again? Or was it something more than that? Was it something that should make me consider removing myself in the relationship. Having your family there really makes it real, like really quick, and it really makes you check yourself and just being a glock. I know, like I'm a smart girl and I have good instincts and whatnot, but at the same time, it's like, I don't know, am I in lovald a little bit? Like do any to check myself and think about reality and like what life will really look like after this. So I totally understand that Mom always puts in everything into perspect so totally well. And your family they know you best, and a lot of times too, they'll check you and they'll they will recognize and call out things that you either a don't even seeing yourself or want to acknowledge. So sometimes in those scenarios like you really need them to solidify. One way or the other, like what's what's going to be the best decision in the long run, because at the end of the day, like say you were to get engaged and get married, like you're not just marrying this one person, Like you're marrying into the family, like you are bonded for life, and that's like it should not be taken lightly. And so Serena, like, I kudos to you for really like listening to what your family had to say, and it sounds like they were so incredibly supportive. But at the end of the day, like really feeling like what are my emotions here? Is it fear? Is it like the fact that I could get hurted or whatever it might be? Like I think that's really strong of you as a woman to listen to your gut And I mean, I will say, like watching that break up that stay when you said a goodbye to Matt, like it was gut wrenching, Like yeah, we watched, We've all seen the show. And like some breakups, you know, like tug at your heart strings. Some are easier than others, some are just like pitiful like whatever might be, but like yours truly like I felt like you guys cared about each other and had so much respect and you know, Matt, like I think at the end of the day, was so into you, but it was also respectful of your decision and be like, look like I you know, I can't like if you don't want to be here, Like I can't talk you into it, Like this is a two way street. So going into that conversation and that breakup, what were you telling yourself? Like did you kind of have a game plan? Were you thinking like did you assume he was going to respond one way? Like? Speak on that going into it. Yeah, I definitely wanted to the breakup. I guess you could say prepared as prepared as you can be. I mean, breakups are really emotional, and I wanted to kind of have an idea of what I wanted towards toquilate, to ensure that I gave him as much close as possible and wasn't overcome by emotion and wasn't able to kind of perspectively communicate to him. I didn't know how he's going to react, If I'm being completely honest, I mean, I think you can really know someone, but going through a breakup is a whole other thing. And we've never been through something similar to that, so it was really a first and his reaction was something I kind of just left open in the sense, you know, whatever comes comes, and we'll have whatever conversation he wants to have. I know that, you know, my delivery was a little on the harsher side with kind of me saying you're not my person. That wasn't an accident, it was a choice, and I agree that it's a harsh statement, and it really really killed me to say it because I knew it would hurt him. But I felt, and you know, maybe maybe this is right, this is maybe this is wrong, But in that moment, I felt being as clear and direct as possible about where I stood in that relationship and what my feelings were and why I was leaving was the best thing I could do for him. Because he has three other women, he doesn't have weeks to ponder. We don't have time to have multiple conversations. It's one conversation and then I'm gone, and then he goes on dates with other women. So I didn't want him to leave that conversation with any doubt, any what if any questions. I wanted to be as straightforward as I possibly could and it was hard. It was hard emotional. Yeah, I don't think it was harsh. I don't think you need to beat yourself up. I think in that case when you say, like time is of the essence and you like at that point there was four of you left, Like I thought that was commendable, like to be honest, like putting myself back into the shoes as a lead, Like if somebody would have said that to me, Like, sure, it would have been hard to hear, but at the end of the day, like I can't fault you for that, and I would rather have that directness than have multiple conversations back and forth trying to figure out like, oh, but could this work. I want them to stay, but like do they want to and like like you said, all of the what ifs and the unknowns, Like I think you handled it like in a very respectable way. Absolutely, there was a point where like someone did say, like, you know, I can't be here anymore because I just don't know if I can get engaged. And unfortunately that breakup kind of went back and forth. He was like I don't want to hurt you, like you're everything I want, but like at the same time, it's like I don't know if I can, and like even the goodbye process was like he was walking into the car and then came back and held my hand, then walking into the car, and then came back and give me a kiss, like walking into the car, Like I understand. It seems like very harsh for you to be like you're not my person, but at the same time, it's so crucial I think in this like journey specifically, because you're making such intense decisions so quickly that it's like someone leaves you, you know, so I don't know, but just like no reassurance that you know they have confidence in their decision. It's really sad, like it's really sucky. It makes you because second guess everything. It makes you like, Okay, well, maybe should I talked to in this play? Should we have a little bit more time, you know what I mean? So I love the way that you did it. I think it was you spoke your truth. Matt needed to hear it. As harsh as it was, it wasn't really harsh. So yeah, it's like the back and forth, that limbo phase that you're in doesn't ever help anything or anybody. So I think, yeah, cutting the cord quicker. If you know it's not right helps, especially when things are so sped up in this show. Yeah, I mean, Serena, when you were driving away, did you ever have the moment where you were like, did I make it? Did I make a mistake? Like? Was that the right decision? Because there was one time on my season where I sent a guy home, really and it was the only time where I was like, h did I do that too fast? Like should I? Should I have kept around a little bit longer? Like did that ever cross your mind? Yeah? I mean I remember driving away being like I missed already? What the heck? Guy? I just left him and I already missed him? And I think it's so easy and normal after a breakup just to go through those what IFFs. And my biggest what if was what if I'd stayed one more week? What if I'd stayed till fantasy? This week we got a whole night together. It was Unmike off camera time that we could have spent together. Would that have changed anything? Did I call it too since I give myself one more week? But I think in the emotional state I was in, I would have felt really guilty doing that to him. Because to take a spot from someone who was certain and I knew the other three women were. They were in a place of certainty. How disrespectful to take that valuable time away from one of his other relationships to figure out if he might be my fiancee. I just didn't feel authented doing that. I felt kind of just shade. It would have felt really shady to me. And in the real world, you know, the real world. I mean, this is the real world, but you know what I mean, a normal dating, you kind of have that time to be like, Okay, I'm not sure, like let me give this another week or two, let me go and seem a few more times before I make that decision. But we just you don't have the luxury of that on the show. I don't want to keep harping on it, but was there like one specific red flag that you were just like, you know, this is just something we're not saying at eye on or that kind of kept resonating you kind of think, because I would love to have that, Like I would love to be able to say, like X y Z is why I didn't work out. And I mean I think every relationship there's things that you're completely eye to eye on and then those things that you maybe are not completely eye on. But there was nothing big enough that I was like, this is a red flag, right, I had a run like it was it was. There was nothing that was just so obviously wrong or any big issue, which is what made it so difficult. I mean, it was just like emotionally torn over this decision, because when there's nothing wrong, it's like, well, why am I doing this? Like I'm leaving this great guy, I'm leaving this great relationship. But right at the end of the day, I just felt like I had to fall in my gun in my heart and felt to prison for doing all that. So let's get into women tell all, Because that was your first time then seeing Matt since that hard goodbye? What was it like sitting down seeing him face to face, having that first conversation since the breakup, like talk us through what you were feeling in that moment. I was really nervous to see that for the first time. I think when he walked out, the first thing I thought was, oh my gosh, the bearded hard to miss that is looking at him so funny. So yeah, I'm grateful for the beard. Um. It definitely just called my nerves for a second, but it was to see him. I mean, I do wish the best for him. I hope that he's happy. I mean all those things. We didn't get to, obviously have an extensive conversation. We just kind of got to briefly address each other. But I was glad to be able to just reiterate why I made that decision to leave for what might have felt like quite abruptly, and just to be able to say I care about you, and I still care about you, and I wish the best for you, and I hope that this journey did work and you found love. I mean, like looking back, like, how do you feel about everything now? Like, obviously you're still happy with your decision, Obviously you're doing well, But it would there be anything you would ever change or how are you feeling? I don't think so. I mean, I think hindsight's obviously played twenty twenty and walking yourself back on TV is just a whole other level of hindsights and I would experience so weird. But I think overall, I'm proud of the way that I handled myself, and I'm proud of the decisions that I made, and there was a lot of hard decisions and hard moments. I mean, this is not an easy journey. But there's nothing that I sit here like, oh that's a huge bread or I really wish I'd done or said this differently. But I mean it's still learning experience. But I've learned a lot from that show. That's not to say I didn't take away things that I will change or work on in the future, of course. Yeah, I think, and I've said this many times before, like there's no possible way that you can go on the show as either contestant or lead and not learn so much more about yourself as an individual, so much more about how you handle relationships with the partner, relationships with the other women, with the crew, Like there's just so much that you can take away, Like, and we asked some some of the other guests, but like one thing that you learned most about yourself that you want to share with us, what was that? So for me, I have a really tight knit community of family and friends at home, and I love to have everyone way on way and on big decisions in my life. So I tend to go to them for advice and support and to hear their opinions. With this, You're completely disconnected, you have no technology, nothing. Everyone else in this house is either working on the show or dating the same guy as you. So I really felt like, and that's not to say didn't have friends or people that I confided in, but I really felt like when it came down to decisions for me and for my relationships, I had to ruly myself. And I think I've always felt comfortable making decisions, but I've gained a new found sense of confidence in my ability to make decisions and to give myself the leeway to maybe make mistakes, and being able to trust my gut, trust myself and be like, Okay, I'm a twenty three year old, confident woman who knows who she is and knows what's best for herself, and if I make mistakes, that's okay. But I'm capable in making those decisions and those calls independently. It's definitely a wake up call to like, because you don't have anybody to call on and you have to rely on yourself, and it feels really freaking good to come back and be like, yeah, I freaking did that, and you feel good about every decision you made. So I love that, Serena, we have some fan questions for you that I really want to get into, because, like I said, you were like a fan favorite for me for so many people. But before we get into that, you know, I love the fact that you are a confident woman, that you gained more independence and confidence from this show. There's a lot that the world has to offer into of bachelination and all of the fun things to come. So what's next for you is paradise potentially on the horizon for you? Oh, she smiled big. You see that. I see almost, seeth girl. I mean, my season just ended, so I feel like I'm just kind of coming down from all of that and I am back at work at my job. But I had to pose experience with this show and can see how it can work and can see how you can find love in it. So I would definitely be open to consider an opportunities again with the franchise in the future. It's exciting, it's okay time And you're right, you can't find love on the show. Yes, yes, Tati knows firsthand. I know I knew it for a little bit. But uh, speaking of I mean, and there's not only paradise like Obviously, paradise isn't a few short months, so you have some time to figure out work, like what path do you potentially want to take? But um, would you ever also consider becoming bachelorette in the future if you were offered it, I would consider it. Yeah, I con I like it. Keep those options open. Girlfriend. What was it like kissing a six five man? Oh my gosh, it was like Matt is actually really good about not making the high difference awkward. Like I've met guys who are really tall and they feel tall when you're around them, like trying to hug them, and like just the overall interactions. I'm like, and I'm five too, Like I'm a small person. So being that high difference between me and Matt, the girls and the house who make fun of me saying like I have to like reach up to grab his hand or that I looked just like so little next to him. But no, he is definitely tallic guy I've ever dated, and I can't say it was awkward in any way. If anything, it was fun because he could pick me up like I was nothing. Oh my gosh, And that's that's always fun. So let's see if you guys were both single. Would you give him another chance? Really the question of the day. It feels like, look, Matt one on that show to find his future wife and find love, and that wasn't me at this time. I do hope that he's found that with someone. He had three incredible women left, and I'm hopeful he got what he was looking for from that journey. I mean, I'll never say never. Who knows where we'll be a few years down the line if our past reconnect or recollide. Like I said, we had an amazing relationship and I still look on it really fondly and still care about him. But at this time, you know, I've made my choice please relationship, and I'm hopeful that he's so much Yeah that's sweet. Yeah, all right, Suina Pe. We have one more question, well actually two more questions, because I can't forget the main question that we skull of our guests. But I'm dying to know, as as are many of our fans, because I actually got a lot of dms after I did an instan a story announcing that we were going to have you on the podcast. Um, how tasty was the actual poutine that had with Matt on your hometown date. Oh my gosh, I mean not tasty at all. The image for itself. I listed the lid lids on all of the food dishes. So I listed the lid and I looked at Matt was like cold. And then we tasted it. I was like, oh, it's cold. It's cold. This has been sitting here for a few minutes. Um, It's definitely not made in Canada. Don't be wrong. You can't really go wrong with cheese, fries and gravy. But if mat ever comes to Canada, I definitely encourage him to try our poutine. All right, Serena, Well, we ask all of our guests this, and because you know, we're basically almost at the end of the season and you've lived through so much of the drama and the love and like all of the things that this wonderful show has to offer so overall for you, what was your rose and what was your thorn of this journey? Oh gosh, I guess I'll start with my thorn. Not to take this in a dark urn, but just to give you guys a little bit of insight on something that I went through on the season that, out of respect for me and my family, wasn't shown a few days before Hometown, my grandmother passed away, so that was kind of the first piece of news I found out from the outside world and being trapped in the McColl and you know, our teason didn't travel at all. So I mean, I'm sure Tasha, you can relate to this, being in that bubble and having no idea what's happening for weeks on end. It was a really hard kind of hit for me and for my family, and I know my friends were like, you look exhausted in some of these episodes, and just because there was a lot going on. So it made seeing my family and getting to have that reunion with them at Hometown's that much more special and that much more meaningful. And then you know, to take it on a little better of a home. I'm so sorry to hear that, by the way, I'm so sorry. Yeah, thank you. My Rose was my relationship with that honestly it was. I know that sounds kind of silly to say, because obviously I ended that relationship, but I think that you learn and grow from every relationship you have, and we made some incredible memories together that I still to the stay cherished, and I'll take everything I learned from him and from that relationship into my next relationships and into the future, so I am very grateful for that. Yeah, this is I mean, yes, acquaintatious sentiment about your grandma. I am so incredibly sorry. I understand what it feels like to lose family members. I can't imagine losing it when you're away from them and can't be there to hold and support the rest of your family members. So you know, I'm wrapping you in a big virtual hug here, and I'm so sorry that you guys had to deal with that at such a terrible, terrible time, especially with this year and everything happening. Thanks, well, maybe Paradise, maybe bachelortte one day. Who knows the world is your oyster, so soak it all in. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me, guys, I really appreciate it. This was fun. Oh my gosh, Titia, she was such a pleasure to have on. I'm glad that we finally sat down. She's someone that I think the fans have been wanting to hear from for a while since her very first one on one. So she's a sweetheart. What did you think of her? I just lovely, I mean I always thought that she carried herself so well, and it's just super fun being able to talk to the girls right after they come off of the show. I mean, I'm not used to it over there at click Bay, but this is a really I'd like that we give them the opportunity because you learned so much more about them. Like I was happy that she was able to talk more about her family and just like what that meant to her, and you know, yeah, I'm really happy we were able to talk to her. Yeah, And that's the thing. And I have said this many times, and like, please, people call me out when I do it, because I always go into the season's being like the cast is so young, I feel so old. I can't relate this, and then like I'm kind of a downer about it. But I have to check myself and hold myself accountable because I have these women on who are Yes, they are younger. She is only twenty three, but she has a lot more maturity than a lot of the contestants that we've seen who are much older. And so that's the beauty of being able to do this podcast and have amazing guests like her on. So thank you guys, all for hanging out and listening to us today. I know that you had been asking for Serena p for a while, so thank you to Serena herself for stopping by to share her story with us. And as always, guys, keep writing to us and letting us know your thoughts, any comments, questions, whatever you want, please send it our way. You can find us at their Happy Hour on Instagram and at Batch Happy Hour on both Facebook and Twitter, and does always if you don't remember, I'm going to say it once more because it's always here. But if you never want to miss an episode, please subscribe to our podcast and you can do that on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the Wondering App, or wherever you are listening to us right now. Have a good night, guys. Thank you,