Apparently I'm Allowed to Have a Boyfriend

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, it's La La Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally Lala. Hey, babes, it's all I can't Welcome to the bonus episode of Untraditionally Lala Tet. How we feeling, buddy, How we feeling on this Monday? Buddy? Can I tell you? I have been doing this thing when I have anxiety where I no, I like, get into my chest and do like a Tarzan and all of the sudden I can breathe. I haven't had debilitating anxiety. I did it in front of Calvin for the first time. I didn't even care he was.

00:00:38
Speaker 2: He told you, he said, you gotta just scream yeah, and you did.

00:00:41
Speaker 1: I did, Yeah. I did really well at it. You're continuing that today's the first day that I haven't really needed to do it, But to say that I haven't been in the car doing it. Do you hum? Only when I get injections, I go, I go whole bunch.

00:01:02
Speaker 2: I hum sometimes to so so when she's laying on my chest, she loves it.

00:01:07
Speaker 1: I think that just the the uncertainty of life has gotten to me, which I've talked about this before, and you know this that it doesn't happen often, but there are times where I'm like, we're feeling a bit stagnant, and I start to panic. This round of things, the amount of anxiety that I've had. I haven't had this level since my custody battle, where it's just like I dread the night because I'm a left with I'm left with my thoughts. But I'm I'm snapping out of it, and I attribute it to the Tarzan screaming. Yeah, just get it out, baby.

00:01:46
Speaker 2: Sometimes you gotta scream into a pillow.

00:01:48
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm excited for this bonus because it's along the lines. The other day, Ocean told me that I was allowed to have a boyfriend because she has four boyfriends at school. Dislike all of that. I was like, I don't love the d We're.

00:02:03
Speaker 2: Gonna pretend that they're just well they are, they are just friends that are boys.

00:02:08
Speaker 1: Well, then I asked her. I was like, what do you mean you have four boyfriends? And she was like, yeah, like this one, this one, this one, and this one, and I go okay, and so like they know about each other and she goes, well, yeah, mom, because we're all friends. They're my boyfriends and I'm their girlfriend. I was like, oh, like a friend that's a boy and she was like, yeah, Mom, what else. I'm like, oh, okay, yes, sorry, we like this age. Yes. I was just so thrilled that my daughter finally told me I can have a boyfriend, because for so long she's been like, you can't have a boyfriend. That means I won't be able to sleep in your bed. What does that mean for me? Once she like gave me the approval, I was like, oh, I like this. That's because now she is sleeping in her own bed now. She told me that for the past hold on now, oh for the weekend. I know, I let her sleep in my bed. She's been crushing it in her own bed, get herself in, tucked in whatever. I let her sleep with me this past weekend. Oh and now Amber is back in town, you guys, So now she's using to this. She's like, why is Amber here again? And I was like, you love her. She just I don't like it at night because I'm supposed to be sleeping with you. I said, during the week you have to sleep in your own bed weekends like party on, she'll come.

00:03:24
Speaker 2: When I see her, she goes, guess what t T I slept in my own bed.

00:03:29
Speaker 1: She's very proud of it. Do you make a big deal, of course, but she said that on Sunday. Yeah, so she fibbed me. We have to make a big deal when she tells us cool things. Shame with Sosa is really into the big deal right now. Yeah, we have to make a big deal for everything. Yeah, she's really funny right now. Anyway, Nick Cannon allows his fifteen year old son to date, but teen daughter is banned. So I'm a little confused by this, but also not I think I may have an unpopular opinion. And Nick Cannon revealed he's okay with his son dating at fifteen years old, but his twin sister isn't getting the same treatment. There is a difference when parenting a son and when parenting a daughter. I am more protective of my daughter. I one hundred percent agree with him. And I say this because yes, his son can date.

00:04:19
Speaker 3: You.

00:04:20
Speaker 1: I think you can control your.

00:04:23
Speaker 2: Son's actions and behaviors, like Nick Cannon saying, do not put a woman in this position. You can't tell your girl like if you're put like who knows, but you can you know, you can kind of make a roadway to your son you can't do that with your daughter. She's going to be put into positions. But you can tell your son what positions to put a woman into feel safe and say comfortable. But you can't like if he does this, you know, it's a very ital odd thing. But you can tell your son what to do and what not to do.

00:04:57
Speaker 1: You know. Cardi b spoke about this, and she's been talking about it on a lot of different podcasts. I think the one I saw, I believe it was with Michelle Obama, if I'm not mistaken, but she was saying when raising her son, she is very much teaching him that like no.

00:05:19
Speaker 2: Means no and respect. And that's where I'm kind of thinking that. And it's very hard to like if I had a daughter and I was like, so, he's gonna probably say this, this, this, this, this, It's like I have to go through a whole bunch of things of what he might say to you.

00:05:35
Speaker 1: You have to tap into the mind of a shitty man or a man that like maybe Nick has been at one point there it is.

00:05:40
Speaker 2: And that's where I'm like, Okay, he probably knows that, and now he's telling his son who not to be that he was and now his son will have some you know, a better chance at what he didn't.

00:05:50
Speaker 1: Maybe, you know broad I talk. I talk to my friends who have boys a lot, and I expressed just with the state of the world, and you know, think these men in positions of power who still maintain power after a lot of things have come out about them, and these women really fighting to not only be heard but see something done, and for the most part, nothing is done. So I've spoken to my friends who have boys and I express, you know, my concern with having girls. I never expected to be a girl mom. There are things that I have not experienced that some of my friends have that a lot of women have experienced at the hands of a man. And I remember one of my friends was like, I understand exactly what you're going through and how that could be scary. She goes, But I have to say, I am so terrified raising a boy because I have to teach them about so many things that are unacceptable. And she goes, And you think that that would be an easy job, because it just seems like it would be common sense to like treat people, especially a woman, with respect and listen to them. But when I look at a lot of these men, I sometimes wonder, like what the mom did to make them think that this was totally okay?

00:07:21
Speaker 2: And maybe it's not even what the mom did, it's what did the mom allow them to get away with.

00:07:26
Speaker 1: Or sometimes it's just people are born who they are.

00:07:30
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean, there's a lot of people I mean, I'll just say that are incarcerated that did terrible things and their mothers are out and that's not a you know, what their kids did isn't a reflection of who the mother is.

00:07:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I love what Cardi B said. Next time I see her, mama tell her that she raised a bit. I'm all about blaming the mom. I'm like, oh, your mama didn't finish the job, and I'm certain not taking over now.

00:08:02
Speaker 2: At some point, it's you're a man, and you know right from wrong, and you shouldn't need your mom to like you.

00:08:08
Speaker 1: I agree, like you raised me. Now I know right from wrong.

00:08:13
Speaker 2: I shouldn't at the age that I'm at, or even twenty three four or five and being like, but mom, did I do that wrong?

00:08:22
Speaker 1: It's like, what do you even fucking mean? You're an adult? Why are you going to your mom? Or like yes, I mean, I don't know, no, but it goes back also because you know, I'm obsessed with Kay Michelle and I just caught up on Real House. I was of Atlanta. It is so good this season. I didn't think I would like it because I did not enjoy last season, just because I like what I like. And anytime you recast pretty much an entire show, it's like, oh, this is funky, but you've got familiar faces, but you also have like a dynamic happening that I'm really freaking into. But Ky Michelle, I've spoken about this song before because it slaps so hard. Can't raise a man? She talks about, he's already grown. What do you think you're going to do about it? You wonder why he acts like a boy, It's because he wasn't raised right before you. So is it the mom's fault? I don't know. I'm a mom, and I certainly hope that when Ocean and sos to go into the world, they're not like you know what you because they could roll the tape to your friends are a huge Yes, they're the biggest influence on your life. It's what Jomies did. It's just you. You were born a bitch. You were born a bunch. You were born a bitch, and you just didn't want to listen. Because, let me tell you something, I know a lot of people that were in the rooms at Eastwood Elementary when they told us to be drug free. A lot of those people did not listen. Okay, did not listen. Care Dare Dare the Dare program. Anyway, back to dating, I feel like my my mom our mom and dad were very chilling, like do you ever remember mom or dad saying like you can't date until this time?

00:10:13
Speaker 2: No, but I assume they looked at me and thought, I don't need to worry about him dating anyone, so we'll just keep it going.

00:10:21
Speaker 1: Because you had to sit on books to like past your driving tests and stuff.

00:10:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, and Dad, here's the one thing about Dad? Then, I really just have, you know, a bone to pick?

00:10:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, what is it?

00:10:33
Speaker 2: I liked different hairstyles, but he was like, since he had no hair, he was mister tube.

00:10:40
Speaker 1: For a while, we were like, you're going to give it up? To give up that tube?

00:10:43
Speaker 2: Dad Like he would look at me and go, hey, Houston and then fold it back to down.

00:10:47
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, let's just get rid of it. Now, this is just all right. I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore. Because he had no hair, it was like, your hair is amazing.

00:11:02
Speaker 2: So I just had this long, stupidushy, curly hair. Then I looked like a cute tip and my dad just made me have it because he didn't have hair.

00:11:14
Speaker 1: So I looked like a geriatric fuck at school. Because my dad didn't have hair. You did not look geriatric. People who look geriatric are usually bald. What are you talking about? You're making no sense. I think you're upset that you couldn't do cool things with your what that's why you have dreads now, right? You did what you could never do that you wanted to do.

00:11:34
Speaker 2: I didn't even want dreads then, No, but I just like I wanted like a cool like bade on the top and my dad Dad would go just with all that great hair while you keep cutting it.

00:11:44
Speaker 1: It's like, Jesus, are you trying to live through me? Yeah? Well he did, he did. It's like when Michelle tells me she's gonna cut her hair, I'm like, why would you do that? No, don't do that. I just remember dad, or when when anyone who has a hairline that low, and they're like, yeah, I'm in a laser. I'm like, get rid of the hair. Why do you know how many neutrapols I'm popping a day.

00:12:08
Speaker 2: Dad would come out and just like back in the day on the patio and he'd bring me my wine and he'd hand it to me and then he just did your age or normally No, I didn't, Yeah I was over age. I was like twenty three.

00:12:17
Speaker 1: Oh for age. I like that. This was yeah, I was very ill, but like a couple of years before he passed.

00:12:22
Speaker 2: But he just looked at me and he'd go, got great hair, And I'd just be like, what the fuck is going on?

00:12:28
Speaker 1: As he's just bald. I was like, wow, I've never in my life. Even Brandon, like back in the day, was like, enjoy your hair while you got it, because Brandon's okay. But let's talk about this. If you shave your hair, like you get rid of the dreads and what if what if Dad doesn't grow back? No, no, I have to imagine a lot of these are not even attached to your head anymore. Do you guys want to see something?

00:12:58
Speaker 4: Way?

00:12:58
Speaker 1: San? How did we get onto dating and you're the bone to pick, said, Dad wouldn't let you get a fade. What the fuck is going on? I don't know, and I can't even find the dread but it is? Is it? Just? You know what? Oh? I need a dog laugh. That is so funny. I don't remember ever telling me another one broke. That's all she got. Well, she's like Chandler being's third nipple. No, there's a lot like this one. She's on her last.

00:13:34
Speaker 2: Dad, I'm sorry, but yeah, no, so that's your bone.

00:13:40
Speaker 1: He couldn't get a haircut.

00:13:41
Speaker 2: I couldn't get a haircut. But that's why I don't think Dad and mom were like if if you were worried about you dating, you see your five foot son and then you see like his friends who are like, you know, normal built, and they're like, they're getting the pussy, and my son's fine. I don't need to worry about him dating.

00:14:11
Speaker 1: I think my first boyfriend I carried around his school picture, Matt Taylor in the fourth grade, and then Matt was my Matt was like my first boyfriend that we'd like hold hands and just remember that was in the seventh grade. He was in eighth grade. I remember guys.

00:14:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, now talking about this, I don't ever want my kids today. I remember coming into that, like my little ass coming upstairs from the basement, just playing video games with my friends, come inside into the main room, and her boyfriend at the time is just bleeding from the phase because they just got in like a huge fire.

00:14:43
Speaker 1: I was like, I didn't get it, not you and him. There was a group of friends, guys got in it. Took a phone call, went outside when he re entered.

00:14:55
Speaker 4: Bloody, bloody white tea, bloody east in passing out, thinking I'm gonna go downstairs and play Halo again or something that.

00:15:04
Speaker 1: Hell, yeah, oh my god, there's a lot of poor dad. I know. He's like my seventh grade daughter. He was like begging Matt, the boyfriend, was like begging my mom not to tell his mom. And then his mom called my mom and was like, what happened? Yeah, he got his ass kicked. We're rats over here. Baby. She was like, why wouldn't you tell me? And my mom was like, he asked me not to.

00:15:29
Speaker 2: Mom's a fucking real one. No, our family is a real one.

00:15:33
Speaker 1: Trust me.

00:15:34
Speaker 2: They have done some things and I.

00:15:38
Speaker 1: They've kept it on lock. Yeah, because they show.

00:15:42
Speaker 2: I do love Mom, and I do think she is like she'll take him to the grave type bitch. But also I think she's a type that like she forgot what you told her type bitch. Oh yeah, she did, you know, like don't tell anyone, Like twenty minutes later, she didn't even know what she was told.

00:15:58
Speaker 1: You know, it's like she forgot the secret. Oh so it's a little dory, little dory happening. Oh yes, yeah, exactly. That Mom was always the one who, like, if I liked someone, she would we would get in the car and be like two in the morning and the boy would come out and she'd pick him up with me in the car and go drive through Wendy's and we listened to like West Side By t Q. Yeah, it was like the greatest. It was so much fun. I just remember Mom's giant car always being filled with tons of kids. Yeah.

00:16:30
Speaker 2: That was the other thing, like back in like Junior was the cool mom. No, she was because we'd be hanging out at like midnight and then most of the time all of my friends were sleeping over and they could like come over, but Lisa, like it would be like one thirty or two, he'd be like did we just walk back to your house or something and be like watch this my mom, and she'd just go, yep, I'm on my way. She'd fucking make us like breakfast at three am. She was still a vacuum.

00:16:55
Speaker 1: In this bit. Oh yeah, totally. No, she was a gem. But I think we also had it like that because we didn't have tight leashes at all, So like I didn't worry about going and I had a flip phone. Yeah, I got my first phone in like the fourth grade.

00:17:12
Speaker 2: I got mine in second because you got yours. So I think it was just like a family plan. Yeah, I got like a terrible one that I was already using.

00:17:22
Speaker 1: It to school. That was what I knew was we didn't have a tight leash. Like I never had to worry if I got asked to a dance. It wasn't some like big to do like sit down and let's talk. It was basically like, you know the fucking rules, Yeah, you break them, you take advantage of the retractable leash, You're never leaving this house again. Yeah, and I knew that, so I never took advantage. Now when I got my high school boyfriend, my dad was obviously very nervous because I was seventeen, my boyfriend was. I was a junior, he was a senior. He went to a different school. I struggled through that period of time in high school because when I was a sophomore, my friends were seniors that I had really gotten along with. They had graduated. I was just kind of lost. My high school boyfriend comes into the mix. He's like my best friend. We're together every single day, we're having sleepovers. Dad was very concerned about that. Mom said, Kent, if they want to do stuff, they're going to do it, then they can do it in a car, they can do it wherever they want. Like it's our job to just teach her, like, be freaking careful. We prefer you not do these things, but things happen, Yeah, please be careful and careful. We were yes, and then we all grew to love that man. And I've never had a functioning relationship since No. He was the only one.

00:18:51
Speaker 2: You would do so many funny things like Lauren would explode and he'd just looked at everyone, know and just fucking.

00:18:56
Speaker 1: Riler up more. It was great. He knew exactly how to deal with you, I know. And how sad that I was the same at seventeen as I am right now. Yeah, he might have burnt out. You think I don't know. We'll never know. No, I will never know. Let me tell you. I said going into twenty twenty six that I am opening myself up to being in a relationship. I will not be closed off. I'm not going to try to like set parameters around my life to try and control the situation. Because I was like, when my kids reach this age and I have this going on, this is the goal that I want to reach. And once I reach that my kids are this age, then I'll go out and start dating you. No, I'm just going to let it be.

00:19:41
Speaker 2: Do you And I know it's very early, and obviously you kind of put the parameters when you know.

00:19:46
Speaker 1: The child, But do you have.

00:19:49
Speaker 2: I feel like, like with the Ocean, I feel like when they're fourteen or thirteen, you kind of like they're different there are becoming a little human and you're like, ohy.

00:19:59
Speaker 1: K, it starts early than that now talking to Amber, it starts like eleven or twelve.

00:20:02
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:20:03
Speaker 1: The iPads, huh, I think it's more than just the iPads. It's like the schools they go to. We live in La. It's a different freaking beast out.

00:20:09
Speaker 4: Here in LA.

00:20:10
Speaker 1: I think it's Actually you're right because she lives in Bozeman and she said it's the same type of thing.

00:20:15
Speaker 2: I think it's just the way that the world goes and this is where we're at, right.

00:20:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do, Oh yeah, yeah, I don't know how I'm going to be. Yeah. I was gonna say, do you have.

00:20:27
Speaker 2: A game plan as far as like most people have like an age limit, like no, you can't date before sixteen, and like I think those are great, but like sometimes if I were to look and like, here's still a ocean and she's sixteen, Like, nah, maybe eighteen. You gotta wait, I don't think you're mature right now, like that type of thing. You know, I'm going to play it by year. I have to see how each kid is. I would like to be the parent who is chill and this. These are my expectations. I will give you all the freedom in the world.

00:20:56
Speaker 1: You are safe with me. And that's another reason why I don't if they end up watching their bump rules one day or whatever it is that I was on my social media googling me, I'm fine with it because They're going to see that their mom has lived some life. When I am talking to you about drinking, how the way you carry yourself in the world, by the way, A lot of these things you just have to experience. That's part of the growing up process. Is you act a damn fool. You're immature. You do things that you shouldn't do, and that's what kind of builds you into the person you are to go out and have children, and then you decide how you want to raise them. I want my kids to know when I'm telling you these things, there is never any judgment. You can come to me about anything in everything. If you have if you are drinking at a party and you're in high school, I know that those things happen. You fucking pick up the phone and you call me. I will not ask any questions. I will be there. Like My job is not to shame you or judge you. It is to provide you with the life life where you feel safe, taking care of and guided. The moment I feel that you are slipping away, I will fuck up your world. That's what it is. Good luck, Ocean, Good luck. What about Sosa?

00:22:16
Speaker 2: Sosa seems terrified of every shit she doesn't want to do much but cry.

00:22:21
Speaker 1: Oh, choose me Jah.

00:22:24
Speaker 2: She had her she was eating this morning eggs and she had her and stuffy.

00:22:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you tried to get it away from her.

00:22:31
Speaker 2: Oh, I just got it away from her and put her eggs down, and then she did. She was like this for three minutes, and I was.

00:22:37
Speaker 1: Like, are you all right? Right? When I moved her her? Oh my god, what's going on? Man? Did she get that stuffy back? You fucking better believe it. I know, but I'm trying to teach her that. Like now I'm doing this thing where if I do something to her, I'm like, you got to get over it. You got to get over it. I'm not giving it back to you. And then after like five minutes, I'm like, here's the fun. No, you won't give up.

00:23:03
Speaker 3: And then it kind of shops her identical to her, but you do that. She's I don't know, man, this kid, she's real. All I want to say at.

00:23:14
Speaker 1: The end of this bonus is to my parents, good luck out there. I'm sorry you have to endure survival of the fittest put him on you.

00:23:36
Speaker 2: Back to the point I think I like where I agree with him with who Cannon Cannon Jesus Christ. Oh yeah, the whole reason why we're talking about this, I do.

00:23:48
Speaker 1: Too, because you control the boy more, and I think that if you have the conversation with the daughter though, if you're like, here's the deal you, this is why I don't want you to date. Let me explain. Do you still feel the need? Do you still like somebody? Do you like him enough that you would feel comfortable with me meeting him, because that's the way I would feel comfortable. How do we come together and be a team to make sure this guy is not going to like mess around on my watch. I'm your dad, I'm your protector. I know how how dudes think, so I'm going to protect you. D yeph Okay, See, I think there's more. I think there's more of a gray to it. Not so he can date, you can't.

00:24:28
Speaker 2: I think a conversation I guarantee that to be a scary out of context.

00:24:31
Speaker 1: I guarantee you sat down and.

00:24:32
Speaker 2: Said I know shitty dudes, and this is why you're not dating. You're the shitty dude that I can actually control and make decent.

00:24:40
Speaker 1: But what does he say to his daughter that dudes are shitty? And I really can't control other dudes.

00:24:44
Speaker 2: So right now I'm in protecting mode, and you're not dating dudes because they're shitty and I can't control those.

00:24:49
Speaker 1: She's just a date behind his back. Well, she's just going to get a boyfriend behind his back. But you don't know that.

00:24:54
Speaker 2: Maybe now has done it to the point where he's like, you know what, Maybe she has talked to a couple of people and he's like, these are my you don't date.

00:25:00
Speaker 1: I don't want you dating now. Okay, I don't know.

00:25:02
Speaker 2: We don't know the full story. And he's got like we'll say, and he is a great father from what I've seen. Yeah, we don't know him, but I'm gonna say if he is as hands on as everybody the internet babies, I guarantee his daughter has a good relationship with.

00:25:20
Speaker 1: Him as Mariah Carey's kids.

00:25:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I guarantee Mariah Carey is probably in that bitch saying no, I fucking know guys, do you know?

00:25:28
Speaker 1: And then yes, like I dated your dad, yeah, and that's what we're gonna not have you do.

00:25:33
Speaker 2: And then your son, you're not going to be your dad, So that's what we're not going to have you doing things?

00:25:38
Speaker 1: Just got hell is sticky? Now I'm relating on a whole different level. No, my mind is wandering.

00:25:43
Speaker 2: Oh no, oh no, she doesn't have control over it my mind.

00:25:47
Speaker 1: Yeah today I do. Baby, we're back. I don't really. Oh, we are so weird.

00:25:53
Speaker 2: It's been You've been in like a lazy river where they're just bouncing off walls, getting stuck at points.

00:26:00
Speaker 1: I was disoriented. Can we just let it go now? I want to move on. Oh I've lived in this for two weeks. Same and now I'm over it. And if I'm over it, We're all over it. Like I don't Honestly, I don't even give one shit about it anymore. That's how good I feel today. I went from giving all the fucks in the world to like, Wow, I woke up with not as feeling inside, not existing. I don't even know what you're talking about anyway, Love you guys. Hope you enjoyed this bonus episode. I'll catch you guys again on Wednesday for regular old episode. Remember an Unlikely Affair with Myself and Amber Childers airs every Thursday night at nine pm. Uh it drops wherever you get your podcasts or you can catch it Friday morning. Let you bah bah