355 | Costumes, Playroom Essentials, and First-Person vs. Third-Person

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

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Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get

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a master class in child-centered play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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I am answering two questions from Mikaela in Illinois.

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And one is about

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costumes and puppets in the playroom.

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And then one is how to respond when a child is

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narrating

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or role playing with characters,

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figurines,

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etc.

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how we direct our dialogue.

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So,

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two really helpful questions.

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So,

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let me read parts of each of those and then we'll tackle them together.

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I wanted your thoughts on what you would consider to be

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the bare bone essential costumes and puppets for a playroom.

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I need to be mindful of how much space I take up as I work with all ages in my office.

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Related aside,

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thank you for throwing out my phrase to me.

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My supervisor

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told me today that I take up the most space per square

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feet of stuff out of all the therapists in our practice.

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As a designated play therapist enthusiast,

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I took it in stride,

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I would as well.

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That said,

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I don't have the space capacity for a giant

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puppet stand or costume chest in my office,

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and I've definitely been creative with storage

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for costumes.

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I'm also mindful about things like lice with having too many hats or fabric things,

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and I've been trying to think about alternatives

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like headbands,

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face masks,

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accessories like wands,

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capes,

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etc.

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These are also smaller and easier to store.

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For puppets.

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I've discovered there are large hand puppets,

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smaller silicone rubber ones,

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or tiny finger puppets.

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Do you think there's a big difference in what size puppets you have in a room,

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or do you focus more on themes,

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making sure to have aggressive,

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safe animals or diverse people?

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All right,

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so let's pause on that question and then we'll tackle the next one.

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I,

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it's interesting that this came up because the week of Halloween,

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I actually did

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a theme in the Collective on our call about

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costumes in the playroom.

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So,

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I realized I've never talked about it on the podcast.

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So,

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Mikaela,

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I appreciate this.

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All right.

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The costumes

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are

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really important for the real-life category of toys.

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And therapists that do not have costumes in their playrooms,

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they're missing a large chunk of the real-life

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category.

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So,

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I think it's very important that you have costume-related items.

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Some of the things that I suggested when we did that collective call

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is to not think about it in terms of costumes as much

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as items that can be

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Used to become something else.

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In other words,

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you don't need an entire costume per se

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of a superhero.

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But you might need

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Captain America's shield

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and or an Iron Man mask

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and or Hulk gloves.

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Where the child can become that

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other

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persona

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without having to put a head to toe costume on.

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Costumes are prohibitive

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because they are sized.

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So individual pieces make it far easier for a child

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to

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play out what they need to

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without

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having to say it's too small,

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it's too big,

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etc.

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And you also want to think about limiting

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the number of character-driven costumes that you have.

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You do want to have a couple of superhero options in there,

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but the bulk of your accessories and costumes,

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you want them to be real life options.

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So,

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military,

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firefighter,

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police officer,

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doctor,

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veterinarian,

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teacher,

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professional that goes to work.

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Then you also want to have some fantasy-driven options.

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So,

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fairies,

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mermaids,

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butterflies,

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dragons,

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knights.

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Those kinds of things and and the goal is that the child can come in and quote,

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put on.

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Literally and figuratively,

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another

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persona.

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And that's part of the self-actualization process.

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Because

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when I become a doctor,

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I become a rescuer,

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I become a hero,

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I become a fixer.

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When I become Captain America,

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I become a force for good and justice.

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When I become Hulk,

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I'm strong and

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I can destroy things.

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And essentially what happens is the child

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is able to experience what it feels like to be someone other than who they are,

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and that ideal versus actual

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kicks in.

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Related aside,

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no pun intended,

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if you're going to do this

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in a comprehensive way,

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costumes also need to have a mirror.

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Because

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it's very important for a child to be able to see themselves

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while they are someone else.

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So they need to see their reflection as stronger,

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faster,

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smarter,

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braver,

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more capable,

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whatever the scenario is.

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And mirrors are very important to have with costumes and dress up items.

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And then my final thought as far as your space concerns,

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there are several options.

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You do not want kids to have to rifle through bins to find

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dress up items.

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So your best bet is 3M hooks

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that you can put on the wall

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and buy children's hangers

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and hang up your items,

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and they can hang in,

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you know,

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3 or 4 hangers together on a hook.

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On one of your walls

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and you can display quite a few

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of your

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dress up items that way.

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Another option is a small clothing rack,

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and then everything can be hung and displayed because there's

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hooks down the side as well as the top bar

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where you can hang things.

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And that allows for kids to be able to see everything that they want to play.

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And the helmets,

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the masks,

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the hats,

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all of that can be down the sides and on the bottom shelf.

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And then the actual garments can be hung up.

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That's really important.

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Keep in mind that

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the

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dress up items do not have to be.

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An entire outfit.

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In other words,

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you can get

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swatches of fabric,

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you can get tulle,

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you can get scarves.

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There are all kinds of things that will be used in dress up,

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and it's not particularly an entire costume,

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and it's not even related to a specific outcome.

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It's just

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one of my therapists,

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I watched one of her videos a couple of weeks ago.

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And she found at a thrift store a sequin gown,

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and she cut the sleeves and the neck off,

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and then it just became

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a long piece of blue sequin-y fabric.

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And the girl used it as part of a pageant,

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and it was this really creative,

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cool

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session,

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but it wasn't a dress anymore.

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It was just the blue sequin fabric because it had been cut.

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So things like that are really useful

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in dress up segments of the playroom.

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OK.

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Oh,

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and to speak to your point about

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hats

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and lice and fabric,

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as much as possible,

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try to have plastic things that go on the heads.

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So masks and hats that are plastic.

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So helmets,

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you know,

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a fire helmet,

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a night helmet,

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a plastic police hat.

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Those are the ways that you can get around the concern of lice

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and then you can spray them down with microband after they're used.

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All right,

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so let's move on to the second question.

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When kids choose animal or characters as a medium for their play,

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do you reflect through the lenses of those mediums?

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For example,

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would you focus on the shark being the one who is emoting and making choices,

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or do you keep your focus on the child's choices for the shark

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and how they feel?

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I tend to think along the lines of,

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if I focus on the character,

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then I'm stepping into the play world of the child.

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If I focus on the child,

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I'm externalizing but focusing on the experience of the child.

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I don't think either is more valuable than the other,

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as they're both valuable and both can happen at once,

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but I'm curious to know what you gravitate toward and why,

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because hashtaghey matters.

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Indeed it does.

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Related aside,

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#2.

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We are planning an in-person event in January,

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so the last weekend of January in Tampa.

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So,

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if you would like to escape your cold weather

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environment and come hang out with me in

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pretty and warm Florida in January,

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Just

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make a note.

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You may want to start planning for that,

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and

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we are going to have

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some

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CCPT phrases on things at the conference.

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And so,

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I'm sure the why matters will

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make an appearance there.

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All right,

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so,

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your rule of thumb for a scenario like this.

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is to speak.

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In dialogue

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to what is happening.

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So,

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the child will give you first or third person reference more often than not.

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In other words,

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if the child is grabbing

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the army figurine.

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And

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is saying,

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and now I'm going to go over here,

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and now I have to go lead the battalion,

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and now I'm going to order the troops to do whatever.

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OK,

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it's the army figurine,

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but Child has made it first person.

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It's very clear that that's an archetypal play.

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And therefore you're going to say you,

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because the child has referred to the army figurine as I.

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So,

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in that scenario,

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you're going to say,

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you're going to order the troops,

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you're commanding the battalion,

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you're making sure things get done,

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because the child indicated

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it was first person.

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If the

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child picks up the army figurine

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and is just moving it

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and

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Doing things

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and or saying he

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or it.

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Then you're going to follow suit.

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So if the child keeps it in third person or does not indicate first person,

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then you're absolutely going to say,

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oh,

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and now he's going over there,

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00:10:06,890 --> 00:10:07,950
and now he's doing that,

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now he's commanding the troops.

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You're always going to follow what the child has given you,

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and the child will usually make it very clear if they are using it as themselves.

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And so to speak to your question of if I focus on

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00:10:22,849 --> 00:10:25,270
the character that I'm stepping into the play world of the child.

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Unless the child specifically says I.

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You're always going to refer to what's happening as

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the character.

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So he or she or it or they.

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And

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You know,

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00:10:41,250 --> 00:10:41,359
they,

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00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:41,570
they,

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00:10:41,650 --> 00:10:44,929
there's can be this very extensive narration going on,

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00:10:45,049 --> 00:10:45,549
you know.

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00:10:46,049 --> 00:10:46,510
There's

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the,

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00:10:47,359 --> 00:10:49,150
the town and the

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00:10:49,469 --> 00:10:50,859
earthquake that came in,

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00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:53,169
and then the rescuers show up,

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00:10:53,390 --> 00:10:56,390
and then there's like this bad guy that's trying to get involved and everything.

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00:10:57,010 --> 00:10:58,349
It's always going to be,

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00:10:58,539 --> 00:10:58,770
oh,

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00:10:58,890 --> 00:10:59,960
now they're here.

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00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:00,510
The,

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00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:02,789
the ambulance and the fire truck showed up.

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00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:03,390
Oh,

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00:11:03,489 --> 00:11:06,809
but they're over there trying to make sure that the house is still intact,

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00:11:06,969 --> 00:11:07,130
and,

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00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:07,369
oh,

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00:11:07,489 --> 00:11:09,710
he went to go tell the so and so.

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00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:11,919
Always 3rd person

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00:11:12,219 --> 00:11:15,520
until a child refers to themselves in 1st person

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as a character.

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We know now that that 1st person shift is very deep and significant.

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00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:22,500
And

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we're going to then say you.

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00:11:25,890 --> 00:11:28,780
Even if it's a character or a figure or

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00:11:28,890 --> 00:11:30,070
something representing

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the child.

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So,

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we always are just going to make sure that we are aware,

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00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,590
default to third person,

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and every once in a while,

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00:11:41,479 --> 00:11:45,469
if the child is actually playing first person and just hasn't declared it,

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00:11:45,950 --> 00:11:46,869
and you say,

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00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:47,929
oh,

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00:11:48,369 --> 00:11:49,359
he's doing that,

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00:11:49,489 --> 00:11:50,030
he'll say,

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00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:50,369
no,

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00:11:50,450 --> 00:11:51,270
I'm doing that.

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00:11:52,890 --> 00:11:53,739
And then you just say,

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00:11:53,849 --> 00:11:54,090
oh,

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00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:55,640
you're going to go do that.

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00:11:55,809 --> 00:11:57,669
And then you continue with that

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00:11:57,969 --> 00:11:58,849
role instead.

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00:11:59,179 --> 00:11:59,289
So,

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00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:02,429
they're very quick to correct you if you're not fully on target,

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and then you just are going to assume that that

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00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,489
can be consistent throughout the rest of the play.

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00:12:08,599 --> 00:12:08,840
All right.

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00:12:08,919 --> 00:12:08,969
So,

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00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:09,479
Michaela,

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00:12:09,549 --> 00:12:10,820
thank you so much for the questions.

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I hope that that's helpful for all of you.

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00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:16,460
I would love to hear from you all if you would like to ask questions or just

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00:12:16,719 --> 00:12:17,539
send a greeting,

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00:12:17,940 --> 00:12:19,719
brenna@thekidcounselor.com.

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Stay tuned for lots of updates.

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We're getting close to the end of the year,

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so we're unrolling a whole bunch of things.

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So,

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make sure that you're

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00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:31,989
not fast forwarding and skipping the beginning or the end of the podcast,

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00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,719
as I know you all are prone to do,

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00:12:34,059 --> 00:12:35,200
because when I did the meetup,

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00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:36,489
I,

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00:12:36,729 --> 00:12:37,429
on one of my

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00:12:37,570 --> 00:12:38,270
pop quizzes,

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00:12:38,570 --> 00:12:39,250
I said,

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00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,059
what's the intro to the podcast?

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00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:42,250
And everyone was like,

385
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:42,440
Oh,

386
00:12:42,489 --> 00:12:43,609
I skipped past that part.

387
00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:44,169
See,

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00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:46,090
you don't want to do that because you never know what's going

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00:12:46,090 --> 00:12:47,690
to be at the beginning and the end of the episodes,

390
00:12:47,719 --> 00:12:48,080
y'all.

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00:12:48,489 --> 00:12:51,570
Sometimes golden nuggets show up and you skipped right past it.

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00:12:51,659 --> 00:12:52,049
So just,

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00:12:52,109 --> 00:12:52,590
you know,

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00:12:52,929 --> 00:12:54,239
PSA to my peeps.

395
00:12:54,289 --> 00:12:55,630
I just don't want you to miss stuff.

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Love y'all.

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00:12:56,369 --> 00:12:57,250
We'll talk again soon.

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00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:57,690
Bye.

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00:12:58,830 --> 00:13:02,619
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

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00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,789
For more episodes and resources,

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00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:09,710
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.