Mondays are for Masturbating

00:00:00
Speaker 1: Hello, Gorgeous. It's La La Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, La La. Hello, Gorgeous, Welcome to Untraditionally, La La. I am back not so better than ever. Hi Amber, Hi Loala. This is so exciting because we finally get to talk about the project we've been working on.

00:00:23
Speaker 2: Finally.

00:00:24
Speaker 1: Yay. You guys know that I had Amber on the first episode of Untraditionally Lala, and we had been going back and forth about doing something in some capacity together for I want to say, like four years. Yeah, probably right, it's been a minute, and finally it was the right time and our new podcast, An Unlikely Affair, is officially happening. I'm so excited about this.

00:00:53
Speaker 2: I know so might.

00:00:54
Speaker 1: What made you feel like it was like the right time for us to do something like this?

00:00:58
Speaker 2: You know, I think what we said on the previous podcast is that we were both like it's kind of like a marriage, like one wants to leave and one wants it to stay, and one the other one wants to leave it. So and I think you and I were just in different parts and healing parts of our life. And for me, I mean, I'll just speak on for myself. Is like now I could finally talk from a place of healing not hurt, because you know, obviously, everything that I've been through in my life with you, with my family, it's sometimes it can really stir up a lot of emotions and that those emotions are shame, anger. And it doesn't mean that like I don't get there, because there are definitely days and you know this because I call you hright, but I just I feel like it's like, Okay, finally, now is the time that like we could go out and help other women who've experienced or are going through something very similar like you and I have.

00:01:51
Speaker 1: I fully agree with that. And there are so many moments where I feel like I'm over something, whether it has to do with friendships, certain relationships that I've been in my past, where you do come from a place of anger and shame and if you start looping. And I'm so proud of the progress that I've made in so many of those moments where it's like, wow, I can sit here and I can think about every detail of my past and not feel any of those things. And I'm excited for us to talk about the light at the end of the tunnel, because when you're in it I know so many people who are like, this is my life forever and how am I ever going to recover from this sort of anger and shame? Especially with the holidays coming up, it's like a very isolating time. If you have to co parent, that is a fucking nightmare. By the way, are you in it or are what's the deal with that? I'm figuring it out.

00:02:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm figuring it out. I'm like a big mush fall during the holidays And what do you mean? The holidays are just really special for.

00:03:05
Speaker 1: Me, Like I get depressed. I do.

00:03:09
Speaker 2: I do get depressed, and I think I get more depressed, like the day after Christmas. And I've always been this week, especially as a kid, because it was like my family went went all out for Christmas. It was like we would have a halftime and so I gave my kids that with you know who, and it was beautiful. But now it's like now when you have to split that the holidays just never feel the same after you get divorced.

00:03:33
Speaker 1: Ever ever, you know, I with the person we have in common, I just remember every single moment, whether it was a dinner on a Tuesday or Christmas Day being rushed like there was no magic to anything with him, so.

00:03:49
Speaker 2: Like, get through the Christmas present as fast as possible.

00:03:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I've never experienced a holiday in a relationship with a child, you know, Ocean's always been split for everything, which.

00:04:04
Speaker 2: Is good because she'll know the difference. Yeah, she'll or she won't know the difference. She won't know the different difference.

00:04:10
Speaker 1: I don't know the difference, yeah, because I have nothing. I mean I was around your kids on you know, Christmas, even Christmas Day when you guys would have to do the exchange. But it's it's so different when it's your own child, obviously, and so I don't know, like this is just my norm. Yeah, and it's hard to because now So says getting to a really fun age and Ocean is looking at her like, oh my gosh, this is my friend. And now when I say like, hey, you're going to your dad's house this weekend, she's like, but my sister, I don't want to leave, and that that's kind of like. I love that she wants to go over to his house, because if she didn't, that would be got wrenching for me.

00:05:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a whole nother yeah, ball game, but he makes it very fun he does make it very fine, very fun over there.

00:05:06
Speaker 1: But I love that, Like, oh, Ocean is now looking at so says like her little her little friend. So I'm starting to get a little bit nervous about the holiday approaching because I know Ocean's gonna want to he with her sister.

00:05:19
Speaker 2: I know, but you know what you just have to I think the most important thing that you should do is just acknowledge Ocean's feelings right totally. And I think this is the age where I wish I would have had all the all of the resources and books that I have now that I've read or you know, friends that have helped me along the way. Just acknowledge your feelings, like, yeah, I understand how that could be really hard, Like you have to identify the name of the feeling because she doesn't know these yet. So don't dismiss it, like, oh, you'll be fine. You know, we'll see you whenever you come back, and we'll have our Christmas. It's like, oh, tell me how, like that must feel really hard or that must make you sad? Does that make you sad?

00:05:55
Speaker 1: Totally? You know, Ocean's really good at pinpointing her emotions and.

00:06:00
Speaker 2: If she's anything like London.

00:06:01
Speaker 1: Yes, yes she is. Do you think that like when you see Ocean? I know she's only four and a half. Do you see similarities in our kids? Oh yeah, oh.

00:06:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see a huge similarity between London and Ocean.

00:06:17
Speaker 1: Okay, and what are those similarities?

00:06:20
Speaker 2: Super talkative, like very verbal, like just says it how it is. I call it diary of the mouth. You're just like, oh my god, I cannot point. My fucking child just said that. But it's cute, like she's you know, I see the biggest now with Riley and Ocean, I haven't. I feel like I haven't been around them enough together, Like I see Riley's taking on such a mommy roll when it comes to Ocean. But I think London and Ocean are like even there. I mean, I've shown you pictures side by side. It's freaking scary. It's like, oh my god, it's so cute.

00:06:57
Speaker 1: But I think Ocean looks like you really, Yeah, I've told you this before. It's so cute AND's sosa oh yeah, like they both maybe they maybe they are, maybe they both resemble you maybe in a previous life.

00:07:12
Speaker 2: Maybe you know it's funny you posted something on I think it was a a story and I actually saw Ocean and Sosa for the first time.

00:07:23
Speaker 1: Really, okay, can I tell you you are not the first person to say that to me?

00:07:27
Speaker 2: Oh?

00:07:27
Speaker 1: Really No, It's something that I posted recently, yere I had people I.

00:07:32
Speaker 2: Had to like stop it and go, oh my gosh, she looks like Ocean a little bit.

00:07:36
Speaker 1: Wow. I could be making this up in my head, but I do feel like Ocean is starting to look more like me. She obviously looks like him. I know that he's participated in the making of Ocean, but I feel like, okay, you like some of my DNA is. Yeah, yeah, not just in the personality of her being a back.

00:08:00
Speaker 2: I think her personality is more like you.

00:08:03
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, I'm going toes with I lied to you. She's very much like me. However, she's a lot like him, where she will verbally waterboard you until you're like, fine, I don't give a fuck, leave me the fuck alone, you know, like the fly that's oh.

00:08:21
Speaker 2: My god, relentless, relentless.

00:08:24
Speaker 1: It's exhausting. I will look at her. We were in Hawaii and I was like, I don't want to go toes with you today. Make mommy's life easy today. Yeah, mommy's life is gonna be easy.

00:08:34
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:08:34
Speaker 1: Are we gonna have a good day or bad day? Yeah? She's like, I know, mom, but I just wanted to know. And I'm like, I've said it five fucking times no, and then you want to know what happens. I give her what she wants because I'm like, I don't want a battle. I just the beach. I know, I am. Did you have fun in Hawaii at the best time? Yeah, I'm exhausted.

00:08:53
Speaker 2: Your ass looked a really good in some of those photos.

00:08:55
Speaker 1: By the way, I was like, damn, okay, a lot of you do nothing popping it the right way? Are you joking what? Everyone's like, Oh my god, you're bounce back. I'm like, okay, yes, but at the same time, angles, yes, angles and lighting, lighting, editing, you know, yeah, but you don't need a lot of editing. I've seen your your you've seen my naked body before. Yeah, I'm a naked lady. I've seen your.

00:09:26
Speaker 2: Naked body a lot, front, back, inside, all of it. But we don't need to go there. That was like six seven years ago.

00:09:33
Speaker 1: Oh Amber, why would you do that?

00:09:35
Speaker 2: I just I couldn't you open the door.

00:09:39
Speaker 1: You opened the door literally, Yeah on the phone? What are you talking? Oh my god, I want to throw up. No one knows this story.

00:09:48
Speaker 2: Oh really, well, then let's save it for later. Then, you know what, I feel like this is a good New Year's story.

00:09:54
Speaker 1: I feel like this is a good first episode of an unlikely affair story. Yeah, how do you feel like the person that we the reason for why you and I know each other, is going to react.

00:10:09
Speaker 2: Listen, I'm not doing this for anyone but us and women out in the world and mothers out in the world.

00:10:16
Speaker 1: I like it.

00:10:18
Speaker 2: It's this is this is our thing. I agree with that, and I don't need permission anymore in my life. I'm arrived at a very different phase, and you know, a lot has to do with just time and healing and forgiveness and sobriety and removing and you know what, I'm fucking I don't give a fuck.

00:10:34
Speaker 1: I don't care. I love that you just said that, because there were many moments that you and I would talk and I feel like you would come from a place of fear. Yeah, because I was.

00:10:57
Speaker 2: I was, I had the hands around my you, Yeah, in a big way, and I just I can't. I'm not living my life anymore. Like you know, I'm I'm a grown woman, you know, right, And I'm I'm just I'm just at a different phase of my life. Like I said before, It's like I'm talking from a place of healing and compassion and experience and what you and I went through. And still I'm still in the shit. You know, I have an almost sixteen year old and a twelve year old. I'm in a really tough spot when it comes to co parenting teenage daughters.

00:11:33
Speaker 1: Right, It's hard. Yeah, No, I can't. I can't imagine. We spoke about this the last time I had you on untraditionally La La. But I come to you because you know your girls and the co parenting of it all that is a window into my future, in Ocean's future, and just being a mom going into teenage years, which I'm gonna blink and that's going to happen. And it's just a different world than when I grew up. And there's city kids living in LA with phones and iPads and Instagram and it freaks me out. And then you take two households and in our situation, it being impossible to co parent there's it's only parallel parenting because you have no fucking idea what's going on over there. No one is honest, no one is truthful.

00:12:26
Speaker 2: And there are more Well, that's because everybody that has worked over there lives in.

00:12:29
Speaker 1: Complete fear in hands around the neck. Yeah, I, for the most part don't even know where the fuck my child is.

00:12:36
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:12:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I want our podcast. I want an Unlikely Affair to be about you and me and our experiences. That person is one just some the reason for why you and I know each other.

00:12:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, listen, this is gonna be such a fun podcast.

00:12:59
Speaker 1: So much fun. And this person is a silhouette, like he's nameless in all of it. This is this is a way for women or even men to come and talk about the challenges of co parenting, the upsides, what it's like to go out and venture into sex. I mean, you, guys, I hit up a twenty six year olds on Instagram. I went in for a twenty three year old and my mom was like, that is so fucking foul la la oh my gosh. Yeah wow. Yeah. She was like, I won't allow it.

00:13:30
Speaker 2: Did you do a kissy face emoji?

00:13:32
Speaker 1: Like I didn't even send it because I was I got shamed.

00:13:37
Speaker 2: Good, you know what, Thank you. I'm gonna call Lisa today and be like, you know what, Lisa, good for you.

00:13:41
Speaker 1: Yeah, twenty three is a little young. It is.

00:13:44
Speaker 2: It's funny.

00:13:44
Speaker 1: You go young and I go like, you go too fucking old amber. They're like ready to be buried.

00:13:50
Speaker 2: Wait, can I say something to you?

00:13:52
Speaker 1: I do hot to let saggy old man balls slap against your ak. Okay, I will not allow it any longer.

00:14:01
Speaker 2: Okay. I took your advice, and I would like to declare something to declare it 'tis the season okay for masturbation Monday?

00:14:09
Speaker 1: Oh oh so fun. It's so what is this about?

00:14:14
Speaker 2: Remember last time you told me? Yeah, you shared your like mid day find a day of the week, midday and do your thing. And I started in Montana. I started doing it. It's amazing. So I said, Okay, my schedules a little nuts. So we're going to declare Monday for masturbation Monday. And I want all the women in the world between from like twelve and like pickup time right like twelve and three, twelve and two depends on how old your kids are, take care of yourself.

00:14:44
Speaker 1: You don't have to twist my arm. It was beautiful Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Stursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

00:14:50
Speaker 2: Like, where's laala? I no wonder when you're not replying to any messages, I'm like, this chick is masturbating. Geez.

00:14:57
Speaker 1: I love this idea. Yeah, And can I tell you ocean sleepy in the bed is a little bit of a buzzkill.

00:15:04
Speaker 2: Oh, I can't get Riley out of my room.

00:15:06
Speaker 1: And that's why you have to have that window. And just like a little toy, you women need it. Why do you think Sony Morgan is so happy all the time. She is freshly fucked at all times.

00:15:19
Speaker 2: You know what it's like making love to myself for the first time.

00:15:21
Speaker 1: I know. That's the way.

00:15:22
Speaker 2: Like I put on music and I light a candle and it's like a whole It's like a whole beautiful thing.

00:15:28
Speaker 1: And I think about my own self.

00:15:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I love you, Amber, I love you too.

00:15:34
Speaker 1: I don't think about anybody else. I think about myself. I'm like, yeah, that's the spot. And does it like my little drawer full of toys?

00:15:48
Speaker 2: I know, I know, I just have one.

00:15:51
Speaker 1: Oh, we gotta step it up. Yeah, yeah, do you know how many? How many companies send me vibrators? And my mom's like another one came and I'm looking at it.

00:16:00
Speaker 2: Even went to your mom.

00:16:01
Speaker 1: I've given them, I've given them to her, and I'm like, this is a fucking you hear Lisa, like Uki, if I heard that, I would die. I would die.

00:16:11
Speaker 2: No, Amber, I know, I get it, I know, but your mom is a she. She's got to do her thing too great, lovely. I don't want to hear she's probably at your house doing it right now.

00:16:22
Speaker 1: She should. I'm gone, Easton's gone, kids are gone. These are the types of conversations we will be having on an unlikely affair at all times. I want to mention all of it.

00:16:36
Speaker 2: I can't wait to dive in. I want to know who you're sleeping with, but I want to know, like what's going on because I feel like you just you, You're I feel like I could learn a.

00:16:45
Speaker 1: Lot from you. Yeah you do, I do. I do. Like in terms of what I love talking about sex, Oh my god, that's my same topic that I'm the most excited about. But on top of that, feeling like so says what fifteen months, and I still feel like I'm coming out of like this postpartum journey. And I know that I put on my Instagram that it takes seven years from what I've read for a woman to like fully heal and remember who she is in her own identity. I'm still working on trying to figure out, like who am I? Because I have out of body experiences a lot, and I know that I'm not the only one. Anytime I'm not with my kids, I feel like I'm removed watching myself be a normal thirty five year old woman, going, God, you're so fucking stupid. Shut up, go home to like your babies and like lay in bed. I feel like I my purpose is one thing and one thing only right now, which is being at home with my kids. And anytime I'm not doing that, I have an out of body experience.

00:17:54
Speaker 2: Yeah there's a lot of guilt and shame. Yeah that comes with being a mom, but you have to just it's it's balance. And like people were like, oh, there's no such thing as balance.

00:18:04
Speaker 1: I don't know.

00:18:04
Speaker 2: If I fully believe that that is true, Like, like, you're you're doing such a great job. You handle so much like people don't realize behind the scenes of everything else that they do, and they see you, like in front of the TV screen what you handle well, thank you and you're doing it.

00:18:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's all you can do.

00:18:24
Speaker 2: You just show up every day and listen. We like we're in a program where it's a twenty four hour day at a time. Like that's all you have in front of you.

00:18:31
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that, and I love you and I'm so excited to do this with you.

00:18:37
Speaker 2: I love it too, sex and rock and roll.

00:18:44
Speaker 1: I love you, guys. Thank you for listening to another episode of Untraditionally La La. I will catch you guys next week, and remember an unlikely affair with Lalakhent and Amber Childers is coming your way. Love y'all. Bye,