306 | CCPT Mindset: The Myth of the Therapeutic Agenda

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi,

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I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,

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The Kid Counselor,

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and this is the Play Therapy Podcast where you

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get a master class in child-centered play

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therapy and practical support and application for

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your work with children and their families.

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In today's episode,

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we are continuing in the CCPT Mindset series.

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We are talking through the myth of the therapeutic agenda today.

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Essentially

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how even good intentions can derail us and deviate from the model.

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So we're gonna dive into that,

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but I want to share kind of an exciting announcement.

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I am partnering with APPTA for those of you that do not know what that stands for.

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That's the Australasia Pacific Play Therapy Association.

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They actually are the ones that invited me to speak in Australia last fall.

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They are doing a webinar on

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stateside June 20th.

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If you are in

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Australia

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and that part of the world,

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it will be on Saturday.

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And we are going to talk through

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technology

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and devices

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inside and outside of the playroom.

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In other words,

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how our devices

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and technology and screen use

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impacting children in and out of the playroom?

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How we can notice when children might be overexposed,

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what we can share with parents,

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the science behind

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what has come out in research about how dangerous and damaging it is.

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Really gonna be

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a deep dive into all things related to kids and technology.

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So in the states,

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it will be on Friday night,

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June 20th

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at 10 p.m. Eastern.

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I know,

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I'm staying up late to do this y'all.

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I mean,

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I stay up late anyway,

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but I was like,

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I'm gonna do a webinar at 10 p.m. Oh my word.

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Anyway,

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so it will be 7 p.m. Pacific on Friday.

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And then 8 and 9 and 10 depending on where you are in the states.

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But if you are an Aussie,

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a Kiwi,

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if you're in Hong Kong,

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it will be Saturday morning afternoon for you all.

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So just wanted to let you know if you want to sign up,

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there will be a link in the show notes

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and

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for us,

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as the conversion rate is different,

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it will be $39

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for you all to attend

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and it will be an hour and a half hour webinar for $39.

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So it's actually a really good deal.

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And for my

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Kiwis,

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Aussies,

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those in Asia,

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I'm actually going to be doing a Saturday your time event,

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which is kind of exciting because you usually don't get me on the weekends.

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So,

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really excited about that.

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Huge thank you to APPTA for giving me the opportunity and I

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think we're gonna be partnering to do more webinars like that.

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So I'll keep you all posted on that.

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But June 20th,

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10 p.m. Eastern and we'll give you the link to sign up if you all are interested.

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OK,

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so

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when we're talking through the myth of the therapeutic agenda,

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you know,

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last week we talked about the want to help.

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This week we're talking about

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this subtle but very pervasive

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notion

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that therapists need to

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accomplish something and I'm air quoting that

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in sessions.

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And that can be

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helping a child quote open up

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it can be helping a child gain insight.

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It can be helping them work through something

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and I'm kind of air quoting all of those things

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because we really need to reframe

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those very well intended

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therapeutic agendas

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as remnants of

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directive pull.

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And

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what we're really wanting to do

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is provide the environment and the relationship,

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essentially the time,

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the tools,

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and the opportunity

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for the child to do the work that the child needs to do.

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We have to trust,

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we have to be present,

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and we have to let the child lead.

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So at any point,

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if we feel like we need to accomplish something.

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We're now outside of CCPT

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and therein lies the myth

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because the agenda derails us.

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So often these are statements that

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we will hear.

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We either say them ourselves or we will hear them.

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Well,

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I really want the child to work through this.

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Whatever that this is,

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or

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I hope there's a breakthrough today.

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Or

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I just need them to understand,

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fill in the blank.

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And they sound gentle,

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and they sound compassionate.

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And they make sense.

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But their agendas

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And in CCPT there is never a destination.

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There is only

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presence.

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There's only being with.

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There's only

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allowing the child to self-actualize.

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So,

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if we recognize those things as agendas,

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I wanna dive a little bit deeper into maybe more practical definition.

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Any goal that we might have?

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Any hope that we have

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or any outcome.

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That we are shooting for that we bring into the session.

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Now,

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we may not

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be aware that we bring those in.

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Often I think this is probably unconscious.

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Sometimes maybe they're conscious.

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I really hope dot dot dot

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or my goal is,

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whatever,

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but I think often it's unconscious.

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So,

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how many times have

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we

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thought,

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man,

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I want this kid to

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process this trauma.

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Or

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I really hope that there's some kind of progress

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so that I can talk to parents about this.

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Or

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Maybe I can lead the child just a little bit so that they'll get some

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insight or

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emotional connection or something.

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Here's what happens when we think those

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well intended.

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And understandable,

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but as soon as we think or say any of those things,

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we have an agenda,

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and that puts us ahead of the child.

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CCPT meets the child exactly where they are.

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We're always walking side by side on the path

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and CCPT.

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We're never ahead of the child.

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Never

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But an agenda will always put us ahead of the child,

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and we're

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pulling the child.

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We're,

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we're tugging the child,

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we're trying to bring the child,

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we're trying to drag them,

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we're trying to move them.

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That's not CCPT.

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And these very subtle

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agendas.

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Get us

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Off center

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And essentially,

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if we begin

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tracking a goal,

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for example,

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Is the child becoming less aggressive?

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Is the child getting in trouble less at school?

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Is the child having tantrums less?

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Is the child not getting notes home every day?

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If we're tracking a goal.

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That's

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an agenda.

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If we are disappointed

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when

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something doesn't happen.

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For disappointed that a child didn't change their play.

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If we're disappointed that a child refused to come back

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to the playroom for the 4th week in a row.

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If we're disappointed that we got another email

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from parents about what happened at school.

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That's an agenda.

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And if we even gently are steering the process in any way.

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This is really important.

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It introduces pressure.

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Often it's unspoken.

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Often it's invisible.

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But it's felt by the child.

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There's no longer freedom.

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There's no longer autonomy.

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There's no longer permissiveness.

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It's pressure.

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And we would never come out and say

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anything that would make the child feel pressured.

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We would never want the child to feel pressured.

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But

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though even those quote

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well intended agendas.

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It shifts our focus from being with

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to doing to the child.

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It's not the doing to attitudes,

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it's the be with attitudes.

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Why?

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I'm here,

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I hear you,

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I understand,

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I care,

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and I delight in you.

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Those cannot coexist with pressure.

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Non-directivity cannot coexist with pressure.

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Child centeredness cannot coexist with pressure.

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And here's the beauty of Landrith's writing.

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Here's the beauty of the model,

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as it has been eloquently stated many times.

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Our presence

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is the intervention.

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It's not a plan,

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it's not pressure,

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it's not purpose.

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It's our presence

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Our presence is the intervention.

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It's the relationship.

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We know this,

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we talk about this all the time.

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It's never about a plan.

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So,

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why do we get caught in this trap?

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Why,

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why do we even unconsciously sometimes

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have this stuff swirling around or maybe even we say or think or feel these things?

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I would argue

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it's because

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There's

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temptation for this.

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Here's what I mean.

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First of all,

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if we

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have this stuff in our heads,

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it makes us feel

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like we're trying to be effective.

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Well,

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I can't just do nothing.

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I can't just sit back and say nothing.

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I can't just wait this out.

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I,

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I need to feel like

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I'm effective in some way.

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It will often ease anxiety

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about unknown outcomes.

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And it will almost inevitably satisfy pressure

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from parents or teachers or school staff

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or agencies,

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sometimes supervisors,

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co-workers,

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colleagues.

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There's pressure

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that we're getting from

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00:10:03,409 --> 00:10:04,409
external sources.

285
00:10:05,179 --> 00:10:07,080
And it will satisfy the pressure

286
00:10:07,429 --> 00:10:08,000
if

287
00:10:08,369 --> 00:10:10,919
we lean into the temptation for an agenda.

288
00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:14,599
And I think finally and maybe more often than not,

289
00:10:14,969 --> 00:10:16,530
it creates the illusion

290
00:10:16,890 --> 00:10:17,969
of control for us.

291
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:23,080
I cannot tell you the number of emails that I've gotten.

292
00:10:23,780 --> 00:10:25,739
The number of calls that I've had,

293
00:10:25,909 --> 00:10:27,679
the number of conversations

294
00:10:28,030 --> 00:10:31,539
over the course of the Collective and coaching and things like that,

295
00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:33,219
where people say,

296
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,520
So I used to be,

297
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:36,549
fill in the blank,

298
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:37,510
eclectic,

299
00:10:37,599 --> 00:10:38,679
integrative,

300
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,270
CBT,

301
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,380
ABA,

302
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:41,809
whatever.

303
00:10:41,919 --> 00:10:42,880
So background,

304
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,119
very anti-theoretical to CCPT.

305
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,229
So for this amount of time,

306
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,130
I was whatever the model was.

307
00:10:50,309 --> 00:10:51,390
And I

308
00:10:51,909 --> 00:10:52,960
was just frustrated.

309
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:54,710
I didn't have a clue what was going on.

310
00:10:54,919 --> 00:10:58,669
I felt like there were never the gains that I was hoping for.

311
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,270
I just felt like I was floundering.

312
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:02,200
And then

313
00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:04,690
I started fully CCPT.

314
00:11:05,429 --> 00:11:06,250
And I just said,

315
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:06,690
OK,

316
00:11:06,739 --> 00:11:07,820
with this kid

317
00:11:08,380 --> 00:11:09,369
from the very beginning,

318
00:11:09,580 --> 00:11:11,780
I'm going to be all in CCPT.

319
00:11:13,219 --> 00:11:14,200
And I saw it.

320
00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:16,369
And I watched it

321
00:11:16,919 --> 00:11:18,219
and I witnessed it

322
00:11:18,369 --> 00:11:20,460
and all of a sudden there were outcomes and

323
00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:22,780
all of a sudden there was progress and all of

324
00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:25,020
a sudden we were making gains and all of a

325
00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:27,619
sudden things were changing and I was seeing the shifts

326
00:11:27,859 --> 00:11:29,750
and you want to know what boggles my mind y'all?

327
00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:33,289
The phrase that I hear over and over and over again is.

328
00:11:34,119 --> 00:11:37,780
And everything you said was going to happen started happening,

329
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:38,820
end quote.

330
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,830
And I have never once,

331
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:42,109
I'm,

332
00:11:42,229 --> 00:11:43,429
I'm being really transparent here,

333
00:11:43,510 --> 00:11:44,580
not like I'm ever anything else,

334
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:45,309
but this,

335
00:11:45,429 --> 00:11:45,469
I,

336
00:11:45,590 --> 00:11:47,099
I've never even said this out loud before.

337
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:49,909
I have never once

338
00:11:50,309 --> 00:11:51,299
said anything

339
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:52,380
in the Collective,

340
00:11:52,390 --> 00:11:53,030
on the coaching,

341
00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:53,859
on the podcast,

342
00:11:53,909 --> 00:11:54,789
in any of my speaking.

343
00:11:54,869 --> 00:11:56,140
I've never said anything.

344
00:11:56,710 --> 00:11:58,859
This is exactly what you can expect

345
00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:00,659
when you do CCPT.

346
00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:01,500
Never.

347
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:02,859
Every session is different,

348
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,239
every kid is different.

349
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:04,659
I,

350
00:12:04,710 --> 00:12:06,219
I have never once said,

351
00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:07,460
here's your list,

352
00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:08,390
here's a checklist,

353
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:09,679
here's here's what you're gonna notice,

354
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,580
here's what's gonna happen,

355
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,159
and you can just follow this step by step.

356
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,419
That's not how it works.

357
00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:15,960
So when I hear that phrase,

358
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,349
and everything you said was going to happen,

359
00:12:18,479 --> 00:12:19,169
started happening,

360
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:19,760
and I was like,

361
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:20,159
wow,

362
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,119
this works.

363
00:12:22,330 --> 00:12:22,690
Y'all,

364
00:12:23,289 --> 00:12:25,359
everything I've said that's going to happen.

365
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,219
Is the model

366
00:12:28,919 --> 00:12:29,080
There,

367
00:12:29,159 --> 00:12:30,239
there was no projection,

368
00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:31,789
there was no magic ball.

369
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,559
I don't have psychic powers.

370
00:12:33,599 --> 00:12:35,830
I'm not foreseeing things in the playroom.

371
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,549
All I ever did

372
00:12:37,719 --> 00:12:39,429
was talk about the model.

373
00:12:40,219 --> 00:12:41,460
And when you do this,

374
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:42,669
this is the outcome.

375
00:12:43,059 --> 00:12:44,119
When we remain adherent,

376
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:45,429
we know this will happen.

377
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,849
It's the model.

378
00:12:48,219 --> 00:12:52,390
And we get so caught up in wanting to have an agenda.

379
00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:54,739
And

380
00:12:54,950 --> 00:12:57,419
therapists have felt so discouraged because they

381
00:12:57,419 --> 00:12:59,260
didn't quote get anywhere in session.

382
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:00,969
First of all,

383
00:13:01,169 --> 00:13:02,840
if you're trying to get somewhere,

384
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,080
that's an agenda.

385
00:13:04,919 --> 00:13:05,950
Sorry to call that out,

386
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,070
but let's just call a spade a spade here.

387
00:13:08,239 --> 00:13:08,880
If we're like,

388
00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:09,159
man,

389
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,989
I just felt like I wasn't getting anywhere,

390
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,390
you had an agenda.

391
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:17,539
And now all of a sudden when you're all in CCPT.

392
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,580
And you are fully adherent to the model,

393
00:13:20,809 --> 00:13:22,049
and you trust the process,

394
00:13:22,130 --> 00:13:23,200
you trust the child,

395
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:24,419
you trust the model.

396
00:13:25,309 --> 00:13:27,140
All of a sudden there's no agenda

397
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:28,549
and things start happening.

398
00:13:29,669 --> 00:13:32,020
And it's not exactly like I said,

399
00:13:32,409 --> 00:13:33,919
I just taught you the model.

400
00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:39,260
That this is so beautiful in the most spectacular way.

401
00:13:40,119 --> 00:13:42,630
Because CCPT is different

402
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,630
than every other approach.

403
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:45,390
Why?

404
00:13:45,719 --> 00:13:48,049
Because it trusts the child's internal process.

405
00:13:49,140 --> 00:13:51,289
It believes that they will express

406
00:13:51,729 --> 00:13:53,299
what they're ready to express.

407
00:13:54,030 --> 00:13:56,659
They will move through what they need to.

408
00:13:56,989 --> 00:13:59,179
They will lead us where they want to go.

409
00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:02,609
And it will be when they're able to do it.

410
00:14:04,169 --> 00:14:05,429
If we trust

411
00:14:05,650 --> 00:14:07,400
all of the things we have to trust

412
00:14:07,849 --> 00:14:08,130
ourselves,

413
00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:08,799
the child,

414
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:09,320
the model,

415
00:14:09,369 --> 00:14:10,200
and the process.

416
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:14,070
They will do the work

417
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,000
at their pace in their way.

418
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:18,280
It will naturally unfold

419
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,200
and all our job is.

420
00:14:21,729 --> 00:14:22,059
Yes,

421
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:23,059
is presence,

422
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:24,859
but we're going to witness.

423
00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:27,020
We get a front row seat.

424
00:14:27,429 --> 00:14:28,309
What a gift that is.

425
00:14:28,469 --> 00:14:29,539
We get to witness it.

426
00:14:30,630 --> 00:14:31,500
We reflect

427
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,450
We unconditionally accept them.

428
00:14:36,789 --> 00:14:37,650
And we wait

429
00:14:39,929 --> 00:14:40,809
We're not rushing,

430
00:14:40,919 --> 00:14:41,849
we're not redirecting,

431
00:14:41,929 --> 00:14:42,830
we're not doing anything.

432
00:14:44,010 --> 00:14:46,750
We trust everything that needs to be trusted.

433
00:14:47,460 --> 00:14:49,650
And we remain adherent and things happen.

434
00:14:51,159 --> 00:14:51,929
So,

435
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:55,330
how can you catch hidden agendas maybe?

436
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:56,429
So if you're,

437
00:14:56,559 --> 00:14:57,830
if you're thinking through this,

438
00:14:58,039 --> 00:14:58,479
and you're like,

439
00:14:58,599 --> 00:14:58,880
OK,

440
00:14:59,039 --> 00:14:59,239
so what,

441
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,950
what do I need to be careful of,

442
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,760
or what do I need to caution against?

443
00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:05,309
Here are some common signs,

444
00:15:05,349 --> 00:15:06,940
as I would identify them,

445
00:15:07,109 --> 00:15:08,820
that maybe there's a hidden agenda,

446
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,700
maybe even unconsciously you're not even aware.

447
00:15:12,309 --> 00:15:15,469
Maybe if you feel frustrated or disappointed after a session.

448
00:15:17,010 --> 00:15:17,229
Now,

449
00:15:17,369 --> 00:15:18,950
feeling exhausted after a session,

450
00:15:19,130 --> 00:15:19,799
different story.

451
00:15:19,969 --> 00:15:21,929
Feeling overwhelmed after a session,

452
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:23,580
emotional after a session,

453
00:15:23,650 --> 00:15:24,210
exhausted,

454
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:24,530
whatever,

455
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,039
that that's not the same thing.

456
00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:28,690
But if you feel frustrated or disappointed.

457
00:15:30,289 --> 00:15:32,059
That's likely a hidden agenda.

458
00:15:33,010 --> 00:15:35,239
If you feel the urge to

459
00:15:35,659 --> 00:15:36,760
move things along.

460
00:15:38,429 --> 00:15:40,059
Push the pace a little bit.

461
00:15:40,289 --> 00:15:41,510
Get things moving.

462
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,419
Probably a hidden agenda.

463
00:15:44,590 --> 00:15:47,799
If you reflect something or say something to the child.

464
00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:50,650
Hoping that it will provoke

465
00:15:50,979 --> 00:15:52,950
something deeper to emerge,

466
00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:56,169
or it will move them into a different kind of play,

467
00:15:56,460 --> 00:15:57,369
or it will

468
00:15:57,659 --> 00:16:00,570
give them some kind of perspective that you think they need,

469
00:16:01,179 --> 00:16:02,409
likely hidden agenda.

470
00:16:04,169 --> 00:16:04,609
Or,

471
00:16:04,690 --> 00:16:05,609
and this is a big one.

472
00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:07,960
Maybe you share

473
00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:11,049
a session summary with a parent in a consultation.

474
00:16:12,150 --> 00:16:13,940
And it sounds like justification.

475
00:16:16,260 --> 00:16:17,289
Likely agenda

476
00:16:18,969 --> 00:16:23,289
So here are some phrases that maybe you need to safeguard against.

477
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,840
I was trying to get him or her to.

478
00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:31,900
Or I wanted him or her to realize no,

479
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:32,369
see,

480
00:16:32,729 --> 00:16:33,210
understand.

481
00:16:35,340 --> 00:16:38,400
I think this behavior probably is.

482
00:16:40,609 --> 00:16:42,880
Those are subtle control statements,

483
00:16:43,130 --> 00:16:44,880
and they're not adherent to the model.

484
00:16:46,289 --> 00:16:47,059
So,

485
00:16:47,260 --> 00:16:49,409
let's kind of summarize this so that

486
00:16:49,539 --> 00:16:50,820
we can put a bow here.

487
00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:55,059
Be mindful that as a CCPT.

488
00:16:55,719 --> 00:16:56,890
You are not

489
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:58,739
a guide for the child.

490
00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:00,090
You're not guiding them anywhere.

491
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:02,099
You serve as guardrails.

492
00:17:02,869 --> 00:17:04,959
You are a grounded presence.

493
00:17:05,939 --> 00:17:07,030
You are

494
00:17:07,510 --> 00:17:08,180
their

495
00:17:08,550 --> 00:17:09,780
fellow sojourner,

496
00:17:09,790 --> 00:17:10,420
if you will.

497
00:17:11,308 --> 00:17:13,479
But you are not guiding anything.

498
00:17:15,188 --> 00:17:17,958
Your role is never to engineer anything.

499
00:17:19,489 --> 00:17:20,040
It's

500
00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:20,719
to

501
00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:21,640
observe.

502
00:17:23,588 --> 00:17:25,648
And this is probably how

503
00:17:25,898 --> 00:17:26,928
it'll all settle.

504
00:17:28,368 --> 00:17:29,589
CCPT

505
00:17:31,329 --> 00:17:34,060
Requires an act of radical trust.

506
00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:37,599
Radical trust.

507
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:41,099
Remember the Yuri Bronfenbrenner quote that said,

508
00:17:41,109 --> 00:17:45,300
every child needs an adult that has an irrational love for that kid.

509
00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:48,170
Similar concept here.

510
00:17:49,010 --> 00:17:50,680
To be CCPT.

511
00:17:51,599 --> 00:17:53,780
It is an act of radical trust.

512
00:17:54,859 --> 00:17:56,410
Almost irrational.

513
00:17:58,140 --> 00:17:59,619
Groundbreaking,

514
00:17:59,859 --> 00:18:00,810
mind-bending,

515
00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:02,689
crazy levels of trust.

516
00:18:04,189 --> 00:18:05,619
It's not agenda driven.

517
00:18:07,339 --> 00:18:08,229
We say,

518
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:09,709
I believe in this.

519
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:10,790
I believe in you.

520
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,680
I'm just going to have radical trust in this.

521
00:18:15,689 --> 00:18:17,560
When it doesn't seem to make sense,

522
00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:18,959
when it seems slow,

523
00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:21,040
when it seems that we're going nowhere,

524
00:18:21,239 --> 00:18:23,670
when it seems like we're never going to have a breakthrough,

525
00:18:23,849 --> 00:18:27,199
when it seems like this kid's resistance is the biggest you've ever seen,

526
00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:29,520
when you're on week 8 of Room wreck,

527
00:18:29,729 --> 00:18:33,160
when parents are saying they're gonna bail and take the kid to CBT,

528
00:18:33,489 --> 00:18:35,239
when fill in the blank,

529
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:36,599
any scenario.

530
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,530
CCPT requires an act of radical trust.

531
00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:43,469
So,

532
00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:45,869
to be mindful of

533
00:18:46,219 --> 00:18:47,979
the myth of the agenda.

534
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,109
Even if you have a softer a gentle one,

535
00:18:52,439 --> 00:18:53,589
it's a deviation.

536
00:18:53,839 --> 00:18:58,030
So start noticing where you hold maybe even subtle expectations

537
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,829
for what a session should look like or what should happen in a session,

538
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,150
or what the child needs to do or think or feel.

539
00:19:06,359 --> 00:19:07,280
And

540
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,719
here's a wrap-up thought.

541
00:19:09,719 --> 00:19:10,709
Your worth

542
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,209
as a CCPT.

543
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:14,660
Is never measured

544
00:19:15,089 --> 00:19:16,530
by what happens in the playroom.

545
00:19:17,849 --> 00:19:20,140
It's measured by your willingness

546
00:19:20,670 --> 00:19:22,130
to stay present

547
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:23,270
in what is.

548
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:25,890
Let me say that again,

549
00:19:26,020 --> 00:19:27,849
your worth as a CCPT.

550
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:31,739
I never measured by what happens in the playroom.

551
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:37,459
It's measured by your willingness to stay present in what is.

552
00:19:39,079 --> 00:19:40,729
Whatever it is,

553
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:43,060
you just sit in the pocket of it.

554
00:19:44,329 --> 00:19:45,410
And you trust it

555
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,319
That's all that's required of us.

556
00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:49,949
We don't have to have an agenda.

557
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,180
It is exhausting.

558
00:19:51,589 --> 00:19:53,339
I've had therapists share that with me too,

559
00:19:53,589 --> 00:19:55,180
how exhausting it was

560
00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:57,979
to always be guiding the ship,

561
00:19:58,349 --> 00:19:59,670
always be steering everything,

562
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,699
always be coming up with what activity was going to be done and what was gonna be said

563
00:20:03,699 --> 00:20:05,310
and how we were going to teach this and

564
00:20:05,310 --> 00:20:07,670
what mindfulness activity we were going to do and

565
00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:10,439
what needed to be introduced so that we could blah blah blah.

566
00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:11,829
That is exhausting.

567
00:20:13,329 --> 00:20:15,050
Stay present in what is.

568
00:20:16,109 --> 00:20:16,619
That's it.

569
00:20:17,819 --> 00:20:18,790
Be with

570
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:20,979
We are CCPT.

571
00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:23,849
I hope that that encourages you.

572
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:25,849
Hope that it inspires you.

573
00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:31,050
Catch yourself if you have a tendency to kind of veer in those directions.

574
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,829
We don't want to say that I have to help kids,

575
00:20:34,839 --> 00:20:36,839
we also don't want to have a hidden agenda.

576
00:20:37,930 --> 00:20:38,719
Next week,

577
00:20:38,849 --> 00:20:42,079
we're going to talk about ways that we try to sneak.

578
00:20:42,890 --> 00:20:44,810
Or subtly weave in

579
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:46,040
teaching

580
00:20:46,489 --> 00:20:47,560
into sessions.

581
00:20:48,469 --> 00:20:49,589
Because that happens a lot too,

582
00:20:49,630 --> 00:20:50,040
y'all.

583
00:20:50,189 --> 00:20:50,540
So,

584
00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:51,790
all right,

585
00:20:51,910 --> 00:20:52,550
I love y'all.

586
00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:53,540
It was great to be with you.

587
00:20:53,550 --> 00:20:54,380
We'll talk again soon.

588
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:54,829
Bye.

589
00:20:55,930 --> 00:20:58,790
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.

590
00:20:58,949 --> 00:20:59,869
Brenna Hicks.

591
00:21:00,030 --> 00:21:01,989
For more episodes and resources,

592
00:21:02,109 --> 00:21:06,869
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.