Friendsgiving: Part 1

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Speaker 1: Hello, what's up everybody, and welcome to another episode of Bachelor Happy Hour. And you guys, you are in for a treat today because not only are you just listening to another episode, no no, no, no no, this is the first ever Bachelor Happy Hour friends Giving. Now you hear some voices in the background, but you don't know who that is yet. So let me just start off by saying, I couldn't do friends Giving by myself because if this was Thanksgiving, I wouldn't be doing it by myself. I would have my wonderful husband with me. So he is in the studio today joining me. He came all the way to La to host friends Giving with me. What's up everybody? Hi, babe, I am so excited that you're here with me, first time in person on the Bachelor Happy Hour podcast. And we aren't alone. We have some of our dearest friends from Bachelor Nation joining us in the studio today. So everybody welcome, Eric, Katie, Tasia, Joe, and Kendall. I'm so happy that you guys are here. Thankful in the spirit of friends Giving, I'm thankful that you guys are here. We're gonna have a lot of fun today. We're going to keep it real honest, tell us say things we're not supposed to say, which is what I love to do. But most of all, we're gonna have fun. So let's just get right into it. Okay, we all know each other through this Bachelor Nation world, but we were all on different seasons. I mean, Brian, Eric, we were on the same season together. You guys, Joe and Kendall were on Paradise together. You guys were on Colton season Katie and Tasia together. But so Brian are the first removed from the show. I guess I want to feel like, what would you say are some of the biggest changes from the show between our time to you? You guys, because you're the most recent on the show, did you watch the show before? I'm Ben was my first season. I watched okay, and then I watched Joe Joe's and then I kind of like, oh, you fell off to No. No, I watched your season, but I just didn't watch it all the way through. I think it was more of like the friends that I was hanging out with at the time, my girlfriends in high school, especially, they had Bachelor Mondays, so they had like a big group of girlfriends, and then kind of like when people were going to college and moving around all that stuff, everything kind of like changed. But yeah, everything was super new for me. But the most the thing that I learned about most, I would feel was finding myself. I think because, like I shared on the show, I went through a divorce, so I was just really finding who I was and just doing things for me for like the first time in my twenties. So it was really transformative in that aspect. Yeah, the show is such a crazy experience, you know, me personally, I'm glad it's over. How do you guys feel about that? Like, are you glad that the show is over and done with and you can kind of move on? Definitely? I think so because when you're on the show, when you're on the show, you're looking for love and you're trying to find more about yourself and who you are as a partner. And afterwards, I feel like I learned so much more about being in a relationship, not only with someone else, but also being like my individual self in a relationship. I learned a lot about um. So I feel like I was excited to learn from the show and then go into like the real world with that knowledge. So yeah, I feel like you Candel and show are together. Yes, Brian and I are. Mary Katie, you're engaged, okay? Eric? Are you currently single? I'm single, so I've been dating all year. Would you go back on the show? No, you're done. So we're all done. I mean unless I get to pick. Yeah, what if they made you the lead? Would you do it? Yeah? I will do it? Okay, sure, just because I have options. No, that's right out there. I just think it's better that way. When you go through Paradise and go through the first season. It's a lot twenty Rachelor, I mean, campaign is star. This is the first year. Honestly, I really really was like, man, I really really want to do this early. I be in a relationship and figure it out, but failed whole year. Really is it really hard to date in LA because you don't know women's true intentions? What do they want from you? Already dating me because of your status or your saying, um, I asked for real questions? So what is it about me? You did fail? Though? No, not fail. I'm learning. Yeah, but you know what I've learned. It's not my time, it's not your time. I'm like, damn, like cannot what. I was like, you know what, let it happen. It's hard to date in La. I think there's a lot of different people, a lot of different temptations, a lot of shiny things, and being single in LA. When I was living here as a single woman, it was very difficult to stay focused on so many distractions. Especially with the apps nowadays, it's like, oh gosh, I feel like people treated as a game yeah laughter, are always trying to upgrade quote unquote so well. You also don't feel the sense of like, oh, I have to really work at this relationship. There's always the thought of, oh, if this doesn't work out, I can just go back on the app. Like I know so many people who download the app to lead it, download it, deleat it, and it's just you know, it's like a a savior if you feel like a relationship isn't work safety net exactly. You feel like you feel like you don't have to put as much energy into a relationship because there's always the next person. Yeah, is that why you went on the show, Just because like it's more controlled, you know, I guess, and maybe people you would hope people are all coming in with the right intentions, and I honestly didn't go on the show expecting to ever find anybody. I mean, I was definitely open to it. I think the one thing you have to have is openness to find somebody. But I went on it because I thought it would be a really transformative, amazing experience, and it was and I did happen to find somebody, but neither of us expected to find each other, which I think was the best part, about one hundred percent the best way. And Joe, I know why you came on the show. If y'all didn't know already, Joe's approached in a grocery store and literally said, sure, I'll be the bachelor, and she's like, wait a minute, there's steps to this. You don't just get to immediately me the bachelor. No, she didn't even tell me that. I actually called a friend and they're like, no, that's not how it works. You need to go on the first one. So we all did say yes, and we did it. Tasia and Katie, why did you originally decide to go on the show. So my girlfriends actually nominated me to go on the show, and at that time I really just had nothing tying me down. It was the thing that I was just trying to find myself, and I felt like I was open to it, but I just didn't know what I wanted yet. So I feel like this is just a way for me to grow up. I feel like the show helped you find yourself. It does. And before I went on Colton season, I was reached out on Instagram by a casting really on July fourth, and I was like, I wonder if she's drinking at a party, maybe she's confused. Like I didn't sure, no idea. I was like, I don't know what's happening, but then walked into casting. It just kind of flowed from there. But my friends definitely pushed me to do it. I was really nervous, as you should be. You're going on TV today, Like it's yeah. I was just feeling almost like, oh, I'm gonna feel violated or expose myself too much, but you know what, then we do it. Who did anybody do anything to prepare to go on the show. So, and I'll preface this by saying, for me, I had never seen an episode before I went on it. Crazy enough, I had been to watch parties, but I just went to socialize and drink. I never paid attention to who was actually on the screen. So before as I was packing, like I'm literally packing to go to La, I watched Bin's season and I got through like a couple of episodes, and I remember I called the girls who signed me up, and I was like, absolutely not. I had a house with these type of women. This is not for me. I hate this. But I'd already signed the contract and so I was like, all right, at this point, I just have to go. I was pleasantly surprised. I love the people that I was on the season with, um, but I'm interested in how you guys prepared. Did you watch someone's season? Did you maybe work out? You know, I saw it, I met you. Can we talk about that? Yes? So I signed up. I probably was the end of January. It was like, you're on the show. I don't know right before you got casted as the league. I didn't know she was going to be the bacherette, but I'm in La. She was in La at the time. I'm getting out of my car and I'm walking into the gym and I look over and it's a girl like a red band down on working out. I'm a hold up, this can't be So I called my boy. I'm like, bro, you're not gonna believe this. I think she's at my gym. He's like no, he's like, you have to say something. I was like, this can't be real. It was like the week of my birthday as well. It was crazy right before I saw it the week later. But anyway, so I go out, I go in, I come back. I was like, that's her. What's going on? What is the universe trying to tell me? So she came in. I said, uh, I was speaking to her as I knew. I was like, right, I see you working hard. She's like, I'm trying I give a file. I was like, I see you seen. She's like, I'm scared. I was like and looked at But I've never told anybody because I was scared, you know, like when you're when you're new. I had already gone through the Bachelor, right, but as the Bachelor rette, it's like, do I tell a producer that this guy I met this guy? I didn't want you to get kicked off the season. So I just was like, I don't know. So I kept it as a secret. So then when you eventually told a producer they said, why didn't you say that you met Eric before? And I was like, I was just trying to like not mess anything up or yeah, no, that was crazy. So, yeah, you were at the gym working out before and then I saw you on A yea yea yeah. I was like, what is this? Yeah, because at the time, you didn't know you were going to come on the show. Yeah. So my season was the first season where they started bringing people out at Afar, So you got to meet some of your guys before you actually met them coming out of the them that night. And this is crazy, and I truly was surprised. A lot of people were like, did you know and I said no. They said we have to take your phone away early. I was livid, and they said, we just don't want you to know what's about to happen. Something's going to happen, and so that's what ended up happening, and I got to meeting. It's a miracle season. What about you guys, did you do anything to prepare for the show? Joe and Kendall A haircut, tell story, tell a story? All right, okay, okay, let's say well, funny enough. I actually watched the first night of like multiple seasons to prepare myself. So you went home the first day and then this I actually went. So I'm like, okay, I gotta get a nice suit. So I went to Gucci and bought and bought a suit, and then I thought it was tom for I'm not finished. So now we're trying on. It's like we have like four days to go and and it like just doesn't fit right, and my friends like turn around. Then I'm at his house. He's like it's really tight on your ass and it's like riding up and now, well, I'm like, what am I gonna do? Because I can't look like pee wee Hermann on this show, and so I'm like, ah, So I'm like, I mean I only go on TV once. Fuck it. We go to tom Ford and buy another suit. So I bought. I spent like so much money on suits and like nice ones, and then I went home the first night, so I have the Time four one, the Gucci one. They took it back and they gave me the credit. And then I bought another suit and tried to wear it to the mentel all and they wouldn't let me wear it on TV. This bad luck with suits and I was like one dude that he got like a whole new wardrobe, six suits. He was crying like, yeah, you got to send home the first night. It was terrible that I remember his name was Milton. Yeah, let's talk about first night. This is a big one for you, Joe. You can really participate in this station. That was the worst night. You know, I don't remember, like other than Eric and Brian because you were on my season, I don't remember everybody's limo exit. So I'll go great, good, this makes for good content. I want to know, let's go around the table and say what your limo insurance was? Okay, so mine? I was prepping and um, the producers like, you know, just don't talk until you reach her. I'm like okay, And as soon as I've opened the doors, I'm like, are you doing? Like mister Italian comes out. Then I walk up to where I talked to her for like two minutes and I'm not making any sense, and I know I'm not making any sense, and I could just feel myself get like pale, and I'm like, this is this is just horrible. So finally I'm like I forgot everything I was gonna say, and she's like after talking for two minutes, She's like what, And I'm like, nice to meet you. I'm Joe. And I walk in and I say what the fuck? And they actually irrit it, which I couldn't believe, and and that was it. Then I walked in and I kind of was like all right, and I stood there and got a bear and I tried talking to people, but I just couldn't really groove with anyone. Yeah, first night, it's tough. And then you got to Becca and he said, what's your biggest Then I got to be guy. I would have had the second conversation with Becca and I said, what's your pet? Peas? And I couldn't believe I asked that question and I didn't even have an answer for myself. She looked at me like I was crazy, And next thing I knew, she was gone, and I was standing there by myself, and I thought, I cannot believe I agreed to come on this show. What is wrong with me? This is so embarrassing, And then I went home. I would have thought that Joe would have been cute the first night, because that nervousness. He's kind of like that on Paradise the first day too, But I would say that you were a little more suave on the first day of Paradise because he went in for the kiss the first day. Well, Obrien, it was it was right after I said, Oh, I'm so glad that no one's trying to kiss me or not kiss me. No one's trying to like make claims. Everyone kind of feeling it out. And he's like, well, that's what I'm trying to do right now. But Paradise. Paradise was different because Paradise you could chill for your chilling and talking to everyone for like eight hours, you know, and then you're going for the kiss. Spoilers like that in the bath re Bachelorette where yeah, you had to make a move quickly before anybody else did. Correct, Kennel, how did you come out of the lima? Oh it, would you have a dead animal? No? I did not have an animal. I waited, I think maybe day to bring it. I brought the first piece of text for me. I brought was a pickled bat, and so that a pickled bat, and then are named her Victoria. Wow. Did we see that? Yeah? Okay, because I was gonna say, I like, that's what I hope that at friends Giving, we tell some behind the scenes things that people don't get. We have so many dead animals in our house. Okay, well I like to see them as the art of nature, you know, the art of nature preserved. We have many specimens. I love it privage for Halloween by the way, No, yeah, it's And Joe actually contributed to the collection. He got me a badger that we've named beaver because I thought it was a beaver. Well, we were at this tax that room shop in Texas and I really wanted this badge because I've always wanted a badge room my collection. And Joe is like, how much for the beaver and the tax terms? And I were like, he's actually a badge, So it's the badger named beaver um. But yeah. So for the first night, I was extremely me nervous. I was also very paranoid, and because you don't know going into it, I'm thinking I used to work behind the scenes in television, and I was thinking where's the actors and all this stuff? And I was fully on guard, praying for people to mess with me. But it wasn't like that, like there were there was no actors. It was very much so much more real than I expected it to be. And I think after I got an idea of um, oh this is real. All these people are here, um and they're real people. They're not you know, I don't like a script or anything. That's when I let my guard down. But it wasn't until like the first week until I was actually like realizing that was the case. But what'd you say out of the limo? Didn't you sing a song? Oh? No? I sang. I sang Ari, a song that I had written for him the second time we met. Okay, oh not the well, like the second talk of the night. I'm like, I don't know that they show that they did. I was, well, I was so nervous that I sang. I mean, my voice wasn't that great. My voice isn't great in general. But yeah, so I like had the ukulele underneath the bench. We're sitting on the bench and I was like, I got something for you whipped up and I was like, whoa that. Yeah, I was just I think that's a bold move. You know it was you didn't know how that was gonna go. No, And I wrote the song the night before the day before. No one more costume than the first time he got a skin rash, that was all. Yeah. He was on the sidelines for the first night. He was sitting on the side like we had a chickens too, chicken, yeah, a chicken. We had this yeah cycle running him. Um no, I see. I think when people wear a costume it's really daring. So it's like, you know, I got to give you an a for effort. And then with Matt breaking out in a full body rash, I couldn't send him all to you and your rash get okay ta, how did you come out of? Well? Eric, I know, I'll let you give a chance to say, how you well? It was really simple and quick. I was nervous, purvous. Uh, it was frightening. I was in a limo with Dean and de Mario and I wasn't drinking. I was so nervous. I got the rachel. I don't know what I said. I think I said, why do I keep seeing you? Yeah? And I think that was it. Not just but we had already met because of well the gym and then Afar, so it was like three times three times. So but it was cool, but nervous. I was the same way. I didn't have anything prepared. Coming out of Lamo, I just like walked out and I remember looking at him and I was like, what the heck am I doing here? And I completely blacked out and I was like, Hi, I'm nervous. I know nothing about you, but you have a big heart, so do I. And then I walked in. But then I had Tashia land inside, so that was fun. Yeah, that's cute. I was like, what do I do? What do I do? So I just started coming up with lots of ideas and spin things out. All of a sudden, I was like, what if I do a magic trick? I don't know magic, but I'm gonna try and do one. And she was like what are you gonna do? I'm like I don't know, So I'm just like give me ideas and she's like, what if you do something because he's a virgin, and I'm like, shoot, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. But I said pick a card, any card. He grabs a card and I'm like, hold on, like, just imagine what card that is? Like, like put it into the universe. I grab the card, I shuffled them up. I'm like, no, pick this card. And he's like, okay, I'm like, no, pick a card again. I grab it and I'm like I look at it, like I think I know what your card is. I'm like, I don't know what it was, but I think I just took your V card because I go, can I take that? I was like, I'm so lame. I'm not a nervous person, but I was nervous that night because I don't think what people get is you roll up to them. It happened so fast. You roll up to the mansion and then like whoever the lead is is just standing there and it's eerily quiet, and you think you're going to see all these cameras and they're kind of farther away than you, and the ground is wet, and you're like, oh, hey, my dress. You know, you guys don't have to worry about that, and it's just so scary, and you're like, this is it that there's no turning I remember thinking there's no turning back. This is it. Here you go. It's terrifying. I walked into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror and thought, there's no going back. I can't, Like, there's nothing I could do let me go back out there. You're like make your way back out all right times too. Yeah, if you have to give advice to someone who, I mean, like we know Peter filming his season, and so they've already done their first night. So I think that's the best night when you get to meet the people for the first time, see the hometown packages, and then also see what crazy things they do the first night. If you're going to give advice to someone for this next season, whoever the bachelorette's going to be and who's coming out, what would you tell them to do? Should they go all out? Should they make a scene? Should they have a prop? Should they just say a speech? I mean, and I always follow the I followed the kiss principles, keep it simple, stupid. I came out just myself, smiled, talked a little in Spanish. I actually got great advice going on the show a good buddy of mine Eric, you know him. Just literally focus on the lead no matter what I mean. I had seen the show before, so I knew that she was going to have relationships and connections with other guys, so I mentally prepared myself for that. But then also, don't start any drama, and don't talk behind anybody's back. Just follow those three pieces of advice, and that kind of helped me out a lot. Yeah, I mean you want to showcase your personality in some way. Yeah, and I feel like taking a big breath before you get out. I was the first one out of my limo, and so I think when I walked away, Ari said, oh, she was really nervous, you know. So it's it's just I think maybe putting it in perspective of, you know, it's not just you meeting them, They're also meeting you, you know, and so having that perspective of it's not all about them, although they are the lead, it's also about you, Like that's meeting you and you your personality. So I would say that's what I would buys. I mean, you were nervous. Imagine I guess I wasn't nervous because I thought they are here for me. This is so empowering that and then you can I could hear them saying Rachel in the car, and I was like, that's me, you know, they're here to see me. And I was so excited for who was going to come out and what they were going to do, and all these new people that were coming into my life, and I just like couldn't wait to meet everybody, you know, whether you were going home the first night or not. I was just so excited. And one thing for me, I kept saying, never forget what it feels like to be in their shoes. So anytime I was talking to someone, I tried to give them my full attention because I was like, I know what it's like to have just five ten minutes with them and they've been waiting all day, or you've been waiting all day to talk to that person. But what was your least favorite part of filming? I'll tell you mine. It's girl chats. Straight up, girl, you want to go have a girl chat? No, I don't. I hate them. And so for those of you who don't know girl chats are, or those of you listening, girl chats are when you know everyone else, not everyone, but people are off on a date, whether it be a one on one a group date. You're sitting around the house with absolutely nothing to do, but tan read may pretend to work out, drink and like they're or cook if if you're one of them, I was definitely not the going to cooking in the house, there's always one. There's no chef in the bachelor mansion. People don't know forget that. But girl chats or guy chats are when they say, hey, do you want to go talk about it? And usually you're talking about your feelings or the other girls that are on the date and what that feels like to be at home. But there I despised them. I would always try to, like sleep or I don't know, run away, actually have a different perspective. I mean, I don't know about you, Eric, but I've never talked about my feelings more in my life with another dude. Then I did on that show for sure, and you liked it. I thought it was I thought it helped me be a better person. I mean it was funny because when I got home, I remember talking to my other guy friends that weren't on the show obviously, and just started, hey, man, how you feeling. Yeah, I started really getting deep. I will agree that being on the show almost makes you like express your feelings so much more. You talk more about your feelings, Like right off the bat, I was like crying in front of people, talking about how I was feeling in front of people. It was I think it was really incredible. It's very transformative, Like I feel it helps you be better in relationships and also you getting more apathy for other people as well, because you see everyone going through the same experience that you went through and you have an understanding of, like their perspective. I think that's what I got from it. You can see I hated that I'd like talking to the producer. Once, once I got comfortable with my producer, I enjoyed that. But like like you said, girl Chats, Guy Chats, like, I don't even think I did any of them, Like even even in Paradise, I don't think I was part of anyone because I just wouldn't talk. I would just sit there and be like, you're full shit, you know. And that's kind of how I felt, which is wrong, you know, it isn't the right way to be. But I was really in my head. Yeah, I was really in my head too. For girl Chats. I felt like when a question would come up, I felt that I was it felt like acting. Yeah, I was thinking, this isn't how I talk, this isn't how I would approach the conversation. But I'm going to try and give you my input, and it was just felt very abnormal to me, and so I try to stay away from girl chats as well. What was I like? I mean, I like man chats only because it allowed me, because I think for me, it allowed me to listen to understand a person's perspective, how they was raised, what they believe in that model of the world. I mean, it was a moment we were in I think Copenhagen and you was like, man E, I feel like you gotta, you know, some momentum because urniracial, who has something going on earlier that was wasn't so great And we kind of smooth all the way through. And like just having that back and forth and that trust amongst one another, it makes you feel like grounded and you feel okay. But then there was moments where the lead and the right situation when I'm being vulnerable and I'm telling it and they're using my truth against me, and I'm like, yeah, who does that? Yeah, that's the other thing. You gotta be careful because you're you don't know the other person's intentions. Like you said, they might use that information against you, but you are when you're just on such a high and you and you really are grateful. And someone told me as I not. Some one Ali told me when I was going into this season to be the bachelorette, she said, take advantage of every moment. It goes by so fast. It's a lot, and you're going to be exhausted, but truly appreciate every single day. And so as tired as I was, I would always say, Okay, let me just be grateful and thankful that I'm here and I have this opportunity, and I'm in Norway of all places, and now I'm you know, it's just like you have to pinch yourself one to see if it's real. I always joke that I swear I'm going to pinch myself wake up one day and all of you will just be a figment of my imagination. Like I'll walk past you in the grocery store, I'm like, she looks familiar. Where did I know her from? Oh? You know, I don't know. Isn't that how you felt when you got home? Though? Like from after filming, I felt like was I just inn a dream? Alternate reality? Because like you come home and like everything's exactly the same like when you left, Like your parents are doing the same sact thing. Everything's the same, and I'm like, I just went to like five countries, Like I don't know what to happen. You're in a dream, yeah, and then you come back and you can't really talk about it. I was like, what just happened to me? Yeah, but you are in another world. It is different. World stops when you're in that bubble because you don't have your phone, TV. You're completely disconnected from everything. Your world is the Bachelor, you know, It's like if there was a Chris Harrison would be like the god. Yeah, and you know, the producers are your parents and these are your only friends. Was one man or one woman in this world? Truly, That's how it is. We were talking about this before that transition of when the show was over and you're done and you come back into the real world. Did you you guys find it difficult? Of course, Like, let's talk about that. I don't want to go out in public. I have social anxiety. My social anxiety was at an all time high. Yeah. I felt that everything I did, I was facing people, I was faced with questions I was everything was and it was almost the same question. And I felt that I had to show up and not be robotic but deliver with the same enthusiasm as when I first came back, and you know, said things to my parents or whatever, and even some things that were a little bit more I felt more negatively about. I felt that I couldn't share or express those feelings with just general fans. So it was a weird. It was weird to try and get out of my house because I felt like, I don't even want to go to the grocery store because I don't want people to talk to me. Even though I'm grateful and appreciative of these people supporting me, I feel that I'm constantly explaining myself and it was making me feel it was I was disconnecting from the actual emotional part of it because I felt like a speech At one point, I felt like I was just like spitting out answers and not giving people full me. Yeah, you go through a lot of evolution and growth while you're on the show, and so you're almost coming back to the same world as a different person. So I felt like everything else was the same, but I had changed so much, and everyone that I was used to knowing everything about me since I was a kid wasn't a part of that, and I was also for the first time able to make decisions and go through like the mental processes without having the people that usually give their input in my life. My family's very involved in my life. My friends were very involved, especially when it comes to dating, and they were not. I think I had strangers basically helping me through something that was supposed to be like finding the love of my life. So um, I just felt like I had a new, a whole new like empowerment for what it meant to be myself going through a relationship as opposed to UM me and like my posse. You know. Yeah. Once I got off, I was like and I knew people knew who I was. I was like, this is gonna be awesome. I can't wait. Like my friends and I we all went to a bar and everyone knew me. I was like, you can tell. Yeah, it was great. I was super excited for it. I could see Joe walking down the street the first time. Yeah. I literally I walked down on this grocery store job to Michigan Avenue, UM in Chicago. I was walking down the stream and girls were all like, oh my god, that sounds like, oh my god, my life. So what is the first thing you did when you came back from filming. Obviously you went walking down Michigan. Take full advantage of this bathe in the film. I remember getting really sick, like I feel like I poured all my emotions. I called you, remember I FaceTime you, like early on I was bedridden, Like I think I just poured out so much emotion and I didn't get sick throughout the show. And then literally when I got home better than for like four days with the full your going. Yeah, I like so much adrenalineybody. Ideople don't understand either, Like we sacrificed so much. Yeah, life out time, we energy and I don't think you know Broun or Rachel when when we were filming in Spain, I stayed extra ten days because right, they didn't want me to fly home. Yeah. So because I'm home and I'm looking at the world, I'm like this is weird. Like I'm training people getting like I can't do this, and I was on edge. I was chippy, like I didn't have patience for anything. If you did anything I didn't like, I will let you know, yeah, letting people now, Yeah, because you're so like in this energy and this vibration of how you feeling, what's going on, people in being your space and I don't want to talk about that. And you get home when someone does something like Noah, stop that. I felt like I had the Joe effect. I went out on party, yet I went straight to the club. I was like, my friend back, I'm the coolest person here, right, so awesome. After Paradise, Joe, you went to uh, like, what was it? It was oh no, sorry bachelorette. It was Saint Patrick's. Well that wasn't as good because that I was like, oh, fa fa, I can't show. The first night Paradise was hard for me because I was like trying to hold back crying the entire time on the plane, the entire time on the Uber. I couldn't tell people I had gotten home until I actually landed back in um California, and so I was trying to cry the entire time. I called my mom and she's like, how was it? What happened? I was like, And so as soon as I got home, my roommate come came running out to me, and I burst into tears, and I swear I don't think I stopped crying for like three days until Joe got done in those dms and then I was fine. But I I just remember the first thing I did is I got all my girlfriends together. We had wine. I went up in my attic that I kind of turned into a little hangout room and I just went up there and told everyone what happened, and like was crying and drinking wine. So well, that's good. She surrounded yourself a play? Yeah, yeah, what do you what is the most you know, what's the question that everyone asks you when you come off the show? Like, what's the most prominent or consistent question? Is it real? Yeah? Is it really produced? Do you still a grocery store? Are you? Did you really fall in love? Were you gonna get married? Are you are you doing? Yeah? Like, don't get that. Yeah. Did anybody keep anything from the show? Oh I have a whole bot? What Okay, we're starting with you. I definitely I feel like the girls do it more. But go ahead, say show. I have all my roses have on my journal. I know, because it's like a it's a it's a it's a big deal. You guys, you know you have like this little box and like nobody will ever like the rose I would like come out and like I showed my friend a little something and they're like no, Like I had like a shirt from my skydiving I that I have I suit, Oh yeah, fighting suit. So um, I have like a random towel um from one of my dates. It's just like I have a lot of whole things. How did you preserve the roses? I tried that for like the first couple of weeks and they all started a stink and mylded. I molded, hang them upside down, and then like I was smashing in my book. Yeah, I just put them in like a ziplock and they all molded and done. Kindel, you kept roses. I kept the rose that Joe gave me from Paradise. I still have that rose on those roses. But Andy, all of them from the Bachelor, they all molded because you had to travel, and I put them a little bag as well. And the moisture of course. Yeah sorry, I was always so like nervous or giddy afterwards. I would always pluck on my roses just so it was just a stem, every single rose. You even see me when I get engaged, I'm doing the little We filmed a little afterwards and my roses just like nothing, there's nothing on her. It was just a stem. I was just like waving around a stem because it's like your nervous that's my nervous habit. I'm just plucking the whole rose, like les, I got it. I say roses too. When I was on nixt season and I say date cards. I don't know. There was something about getting the date card and like keeping it and then when especially when you separate and go to hometowns, it's like I would read the date cards again, like you try to see if there's like a deeper meaning. Oh my gosh, you did that. Yeah you do. Yeah, I'm doing too. I mean that's your world. So it's like you're holding on to all of that. I but don't worry. I mean once once I was bastrette, I threw everything away an experience, so probably a year ago around this time, I want to go take my pea coat to the cleaners, right, And that was the pea coat I was wearing in Spain. So I'm like, what is this some like pocket So it's the fantasy sweetcart with the key. Funny, but it brought back those memories and time. It was just beautiful, but I'm like, damn, I wasn't trying to hold on to it, but I guess it was Oh my gosh, present someone with that box. But it was funny. All right, let's get juicy. Oh, anybody has something to share, some tea to spill, or your champagne, since that's what we're drinking in the room. Some champagne to spill about things that happened, maybe behind the scenes, maybe a funny moment that we don't know about. You can start. Can we just do a toast because they say his friends give. Oh we did talk about gratitude, and I think I appreciate everyone at this table while laves have changed and you know, some of us happy friends giving. Okay, who's got the tea? Don't try to change the subject. No, anything behind the scenes, Like there has to be something. We had babies in one I was cute though, I feel like I like seeing you with a baby. Yeah, yeah, it was really cute. After that, you cried, you broke down. You're like, oh, I don't know, Oh yeah, yeah, that's another thing. After before we went to get a drink. After handling the babies, I literally we literally had two hours of sleep. It's that and then I had to like take care of a child. Um was crying the entire time. It was really hot, and I felt really bad and emotionally, of course you're going through everything. Um. And so yeah, right before we went, I broke down and I was like, oh, can I get ready before we go? Get drinks like on the beach, and I was just like, I just want to feel pretty. There's my most diva moment. I think of the entire thing. I cried when you say when you said I wanted to feel pretty, that makes me think of the proposal day, because the wind was insane and when I tell you, I looked so pretty before, like my hair was together in this messy bun, and then we step out there and it's just And they had moved the date up because the weather was supposed to be so bad the real day, and it was still awful and my hair was flying over and you could see my weed and I was mortified, and I'm literally in tears. And then Brian starts walking up and I was like, get out of you're gotta here. Was mortified. I used to always with Brian, try to give him my room number. Yeah, and and so like I would like if my room number was like one, two, three, I'd be like like that, Oh yes, I'm putting fingers on the table. Yes, So you gave me your room in multiple times and I was like, I never I never got a chance to go up there because my producers like, no, you can't do that, and I was very by the rules, by the books. I was like, unless the follower, but I was so upset. I was like, if any if I see on the show when it airs, anybody else go up to because I had multiple chances, but they said, they said that you could, but there would have to be a camera also when we have to having a camera in when you're yeah, I was like, no, no, no, it's about sneaking into the room. Yes, And then one after one of those, this makes me think of something else, And I wonder if this happened to anyone during your time of filming. When we were in Norway, ours, the whole everything was haunted. Did you guys deal with that? I had a spirit in my room every in Denver. Did you feel something? It was odd? But apparently that was a haunted hotel they told me later, Tasia, I want to hear your story after this. But my TV. So I had a two story room and my TV. Look, I see this skeptic go looking at me. I'm not kidding. My TV turned on by itself upstairs, and I'm so exhausted that I just put the covers over my head and I was like whatever, I'm too tired to care about it. And it was like two in the morning or something in your hotel. In my hotel, that's probably because like all the TV's are connected, and I would say, maybe like the room above you might have changed. There was no room above me. The roof was above me. Okay, I have two story. It was two story, so anyways, universal romote maybe two. So then the next day I'm talking to audio and the cameraman and they're telling me all these stories about um past seasons of having haunted hotels and seeing things and weird things that have happened, and we're doing it in the room and I was like, yeah, that was like two nights ago. And then they all left. And then that next next night, the same time of night, the TV turn on again by itself. I grabbed everything that I could across the hall that was planning, bing, ran across the hall to a producer's room, banged on the door and I was like, let me sleep in here. I'm not doing it again. I was, I had a haunted room, but go ahead, and it's so scary. Okay, Well we seed it at a haunted house in Denver. I wasn't there, okay, somewhere on a plane. So we see hoell in Denver that was haunted and um, Kirpa and I were staying in this room. It was like it's very old. It's like an old library and um, I just remember it was at night and I'm like a light sleeper kind of and I heard this noise and it was like like you know, like a nail scratching like on like a linails. Like okay, I heard that, and I was like okay, and like I like close my eyes again and I heard again, like tenute later, and I was like as soon as I heard that, I was like Kurpa and Kurpa sleeping and I hit her. I'm like Kurpa and she was like yeah, I'm like Kurpa, did you hear that? She's like no, what's wrong? And like Kurpa and then she turns over. She's like Tasia I'm like what. I'm like, why are you saying my name like that? She turned the light. I'm like Tasha. She's like, Tashia, turn on the light. And I'm like, Kurpa stopped playing with me right now. I turn on the light. And the curtain was like it looked like a body was behind the curtain, okay, and we're staring at it. We're straight up staring at it. There's like a hump in the curtain and we're like and then we started like hitting each other, like what do we do? What do we do? And I'm like, no, it has like the air conditioning event, like it has to be something. So then I don't know what I did. But I literally took my comforter and I lifted it up because I'm like, I'm gonna go, like I don't know what I thought I was gonna do. I lived at a comforter and it literally what it flackened out and I was like, oh, hero, no, and you guys, it was three o'clock in the morning. It was three o'clock in the morning, and so we chill iroom. We literally were like screaming like what do we do? What do we do? What do we do, and then um I prayed and I was like, okay, let's go back into the room. We went back in the room, and then UM, in the morning we looked and there was an air conditioning vent like right in the spot right and I was like, see it was the air conditioning. It was nothing. So then I went to like the hostess lady. I was like, so, like, um, is like the air conditioning on like at night or like the heater, I mean, because it was like cold. She's like, oh no, we haven't turned it on for the winter yet. I'm like, so, like, there's like no air coming on that thing. She's like no. I'm like, okay, cool. We had a spirit no airs coming out of I would die. It was you, guys, I'm not kidding you. The second I lifted my comforter as if I was getting out of the bed, it flattened out and it was gone. I believe you. I remembered when during nixt season we were in Wisconsin and there Sarah and Raven were in a room and they said they both saw the same lighting in the room and I was across I was across the hall from them, and I was like, but but, like, how close was she to my room? But they said they described her to it. It was it was something weird like that, like a lady or whatever. And when they told us, we were all in their room having snacks for some reason, and I was like, uh, because I do this thing can't attach to me. Do you have a Joe, do you have a spirit story to tell? Joe's the biggest skeptic. He doesn't believe any of this right now. No, I don't. You don't believe my spirit story. I believe that's what you. I believe you believe it. I do believe that, like I believe you saw like like I just think. You know, I just don't believe in ghosts. I just don't, do you kindle um, I used to have, uh, sleep paralysis. I still kind of have it. I get that too in that sense. I don't know if it's either a ghost or maybe my brain. I think your reality can be greatly skewed by a number of factors, Like our brains are our brains constructed reality we see and you can see by some people if they're color blind, or some people who have different like views of reality, Like your mind is in control of that change. I mean I always feel like there has to be some scientific explanation to like why you see certain things, why I experience certain things like sleep. Last paralysis for me was something in my mind that you know, got me stuck in the middle of rem sleep. Or it was anxiety, or it was something like that. So I mean because if I, if I didn't allow myself to see a scientific explanation, I would probably like feel like I was possessed by a demon, which I don't want at that point on the show, even if it is a spirit, you are so sleep deprived by that point that it could be a number of things, and your mind will go anywhere. No, it was out there with you because that TV. I did not imagine that that TV was on, and it turned on twice by itself now. And what I also didn't tell you was the first night that it changed on was changing channels. Oh okay, And I did not like it, Like yeah, like it's not that I could hear. I could tell that the programs were different, like I could hear it changing, but I was so exhausted I just thought, well, if it's gonna come get me, it's gonna come get me. Because I'm so tired at this point to deal with it. But this is this is a perfect segue into mental health because because this show can drive you crazy and it and I still stand by Tasha. I believe you saw a spirit. I believe there was one in my room, but that is not a guitar or sanity in any kind of way. But what is the best way that you guys, because we talk about we talk about the kennel. You said the anxiety, and um, Katie, you said sleep deprived and you're you know, you're exhausted and you're going through so many emotions in a way that you haven't before, and it's also accelerated. So each of you and anybody can take this first. What's the best way to deal with your mental health? But what were some ways that you were able to cope with, you know, being in this world. I journaled a lot on my season, and I think because it was very hard to meditate because if you ever were caught just sitting doing nothing, I felt that people needed you for some reason or needed to go do a girl chat or whatever it was. So I was like, I can't be caught doing nothing, even if it's meditating. They won't see it as that, so I would journal, and that journaling would kind of you know, it was a puzzle to my mind and how my mind was working or why I was thinking certain ways. So that helped me the most, I would say, Yeah, it helped me grow while I was there, because there were things I felt I couldn't talk to the girls about and that were only for me, and journaling was like my number one go too. There's when you're on the show, I feel like feeling like, of course, these are your friends and you trust people to a certain extent, but in reality you've only known them for how long, you know, So I felt like there's a lot of things I did keep to myself, and in Paradise I would write a journal. But I think after the show, um, when it wasn't being filmed and you weren't as vulnerable in that sense, Um, I did find security with other people who went through the same experience, which is why I feel like after the show you do more. So I feel like you connect with people that were on your season, so um, in the group chats, or you can meet up with people who live in like near you, you can just talk about what happened in paradise for me, I felt like, I'm like, this is like a vacation, so like I mean, I really was, because you know, I like I worked, you know, in the real world, I worked a lot of hours. And then when I was there, I'm like, oh this is they take my cell phone. I deal with no bullshit and I'm just chilling on the beach. Everything's free, you know, I'm like, this is this is great. But you know, if I did like panic a little bit, I pace, I pace a lot. So in Paradise, I was always pacing, like always pascing because I was always thinking, like how could I become the next Bachelor? How could I know? I was always pacing though, because that just helps me, you know, my mind. Also, Joe plays with things like in his hands always is kind of messing with something. So during the entirety of this podcast, Joe has been playing with a little miniature pumpkin. I did, I did. I thought you were like squeezing. I thought it was I thought it was nervous energy or something like that. Well kind of it kind of is. It's just like it calms me. I don't know, it just works for me to fidget with things. Yeah, I feel like working out would be a good stress relief. But the damn mansion still to this day has no gem am I right, yeah, right, terrible. So people are just like making up exercises and you weren't allowed to run dangerous in that area around the mansion to run. Yeah. Yeah, I hate the Bachelor Mansion. Like I don't feel any kind of way when I go back and I see it, Like, I don't get any kind of feeling. It is not, no no sense of nostal I'm like, those beds are nasty and every night I wuldn't sleep there. I remember remember, like and I was having an interview actually, and I remember my eyes were swollen the day we were about to leave. My eyes were swollen, like I was delirious, and she's like, well, I was like, I just think I'm allergic to this mansion. I mean, I hated it. There's no chef, which I still am upset about. There's no place to work out. We actually could maybe they stopped it after our season, but we could go down and walk and run the workout classes like I led some. Yeah, so I guess it's the secret of the show. We would And then they called on to this. We'd wake up before anyone else, Me, Whitney, and Astroop would wake up like super early in the morning before they mic. You. We'd get a cup of coffee, we go to the gazebo and we would just talk, like say all the things that we couldn't say, um, like on camera or when we were mike. And then they eventually caught onto that and then they made us they pulled us away. Also, I would you know how there's the room with the balcony and it consted the other room. Yeah, we had this crazy hall monitor and so when the girls would come back from their day. I think it was her first season, so she was like really trying to impress. So when the girls would come back, we wanted to know what happened, but they would tell us to go to sleep. So I would bear crawl across the balcony, pull back the curtains, and I would be like, ashtrif what happened on the day because at one time, I don't know if you saw this. During next season, they sent a girl home mid day, Liz. So Liz was in my room, so I was like, where's Liz, Why isn't she here? So we're like peeking, and she was like, where's Rachel. And what I had done is like I wear a scarf at night, and I'd put the scarf over the pillow and I wouldn't like bodies, and I had put the thing on. This phenomenal a lot of work, I know, but I was like destined to know all the information. And then she caught me and she's like, what are you doing because we put our suitcases on the balcony. I don't know if you guys did that too, Yeah, and I was like, I'm looking for socks. Just random thing. Anyways, all that to say, I didn't know if you guys share my sentiment. It's I think the Bachelor may Mansion is a beautiful home. Hell, it's just not a home for twenty five people. How long were you guys there because we left early? Yeah, in the week three. Well some people were like week I thought it was I think your season on season it was that you got to oversee Ok, yeah, that normally doesn't happen that fast. You're really only in the mansion for like two weeks. Yeah, that's enough. It's enough to start crazy. I'd like to check it out. Joe, you didn't get the experienced part of me that kind of wishes I wasn't in love, because I'd be like, I'd love to get back there. Would you say casually, go like I should invite me. I mean we should do a little staycasions there. That would be I'm sure you don't know what this is a segment you guys should truly do this. You should do something maybe at the beginning of Peter's season before he comes in, just a segment of Joe experiencing the mansion for the first time upstairs, but jam him. Instead of Chris Harrison greeting the guy like Peter, you go greet him at first and then then and then like that's it, and then I just want I just want to expect put up in a lima. Well, I guess that's already happened, but alread happened. I changed group date, guys, I never had a group date. I never had a group date. Or maybe you lead like a tour for the first nighter you a lot. What is one thing no one told you about going on the show that you wish you have known. Oh, that's a good question. That's a great question, because I'm thinking, like, what is it. I will tell you that as the lead, I wish someone would have told me how hard it was going to be sending people home when I came on before, I was like, I don't know these people. It's gonna be nothing to be like I'm saving you, you know, like, just go home, you'll be fine. You get to go back to your normal life, It'll be fine. And I'm telling you from the first night, it is so hard for people to express to you their feelings and you're pushing them to open up and then you got to send them home. It is. It is truly something that I underestimated, and I wish somebody would have told me how hard that was going to be before. Yeah, I think I wish somebody would have home to relax more, because I was like so serious. I think the first question I asked you in the house was what was your biggest fear? Yeah? Yeah, She's like, it's like Rachel coming in. Yeah. I was like, you're too serious, mister. I was the same way. I was very like, oh, this is supposed to be accelerated. Let me ask accelerated questions d D. And then I'm like, man, I think I'm scaring them away. I think I'm scaring them away. You got to find a balance, yeah, because you get you're nervous. I would say maybe not to keep your guard up as much because it is an expedited experience. You kind of have to force yourself to be ready for things way earlier, at least for me than I usually would be. So maybe just to how do you how do you drop your guard? I mean, just throw yourself at the experience, you know, I mean, just you know, Yeah, I mean why not? I think I think there's strength and vulnerability. I mean then I say this after going through everything. Um, I wish that I saw the strength in my vulnerability earlier on because on the Bachelor I felt like I was definitely like holding everything at an arms distance. So by the time Paradise came around, I was a lot more receptive towards that. But um, but yeah, maybe have a drink first. And I did not drink for like the first couple of weeks. I was like, no alcohol, I will not have an impaired judgment. Smart. I wish I would have taken like a friend that had a camera and just roll and just let me talk on camera. Yeah, just so because because I don't. I really didn't. I've never done that. So like when I was so when I saw the cameras and they were like, we're you know you are, and I was like, what at least because they're all judging me right now, I'm being judged. You guys are judging me. And I'm thinking that in my head because I wasn't used to it. And then I started hearing myself talk and I'm like, this is horrible. You know, I destroyed myself before I could even be myself judging years. Yeah, you would have really benefited by being in a costume. And I'm dead serious because Joe would never but well, they asked me, they asked, I think say that. I think you would have taken away some of your nerves, like they can't see you, but you can see them, and then you know, once you would have taken it off, then he've been like okay, like he's not a dud, you know when you come, because that's what you're always afraid of when they when they're wearing them. That would have been. So if you're a Joe and you go on the season, well they asked me, They're like, do you want to do anything? And I'm like, no, I'm good, I'm gonna be myself. And I remember one of the producers is like, just have something, you know, just have something to say anything, but you need something to fall back on. And I had nothing and out there nothing and that's when I came home. What about you? Right for me? I don't know. I think it's just not be so much of a rule follower. Probably yeah, you had a game plan and it worked, it did, but yeah, I just I guess I just listened to producers every single time, and I was like, you know, maybe I should just do it, like wing it and do it. And but that's like he's such a rule follower, Like he's always like, well it says this. I'm like, oh, who cares about that. But it's such a good balance. I love that you're a rule follower. It's a good it's really a good balance. Tatia, what about you? I was really nervous, so I think I was a little more reserved. I wish I would have like just let me, yeah, let lease let my personality show a little bit earlier on as opposed to like, I mean, you saw me sit in chocolate, you saw me be like silly towards the end, like that's just Tasia, that's like a Tatia moment for you. But I just wish I would have let loose a little bit because I was so nervous. I didn't even know what I was saying to Colton when I was talking to him. Yeah, you know, I think it's like regret that, Like I wish I would have opened up a little more. And I think the moral of it all is when it comes to things we wish we would have known before going on the show, Like I think that you should get it for of a camera. It's just about being practice talking or seeing a camera follow you and be there. I think that you should just try to let go and be yourself and not try to over anticipate you know what they may, they may do, you know, just be you do because then at the end of the day you can say you can rest assure at least I gave them all and I was myself no matter when you go home, right, unless it's more unless you know the better you might be. Yeah, you might fit. Yeah, you're playing a game based on what you think is going to happen. Too many things in your head and don't judge anyone either yes, yes, you know. It's very easy to be in the house and be like that person looks like an idiot or that person sounds like an idiot, and then you start you judge other people, you judge yourself, you're in your head. It's too much. It's just go out there and chill the best way you can. Thank you, guys so much for listening to this episode. And if you didn't get enough, guess what. Next week we're going to have part two of Bachelor Happy our Friends Giving, so make sure you tune in because you don't want to miss out. In the meantime, you can get all the latest batchternation news on batchlnation dot com right now, and if you have something that you want to tell us, good, bad, whatever, we're open to constructive criticism. You can email us at happy hour at batchlnation dot com or visit batchlnation dot com and click podcast. Thank you so much, guys for listening.