221 | Staying True to the Model: Encouraging New Therapists to Trust CCPT

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You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.

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Your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.

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Hi, I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor.

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This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get a master class in child-centered,

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play therapy

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and practical support and application for your

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work with children and their families.

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In today's episode. I am answering a question from Deidra in Virginia

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and her question is about a

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supervisor that is not child-centered

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and

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the supervisor recommending to teach coping skills

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to children in play sessions.

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Perish the thought.

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All right.

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So let me read parts of Deidre's email and then we'll talk through this together,

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y'all.

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Y'all know.

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You know what I, I had this thought before I started recording this episode.

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I was like, as soon as I say, what this is about my vets are going to be like,

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I know exactly what she's going to say.

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I don't even need to listen to this.

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So if you're predicting my response, you can email me and say how on track you were,

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you know what you give yourself as a grade for how, how much you knew I was going to say.

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All right. So Deidra, thank you so much for the email.

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Let me read parts of her email and we'll get into this.

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I'm very humored by this.

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I'm a first year L CS W supervised working with children 4 to 12 in a private practice.

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I've been taking play therapy trainings since before I graduated

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and I'm working through your podcasts.

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My in-house supervisor is not AC CPT.

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When I go to her for supervision and guidance,

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she often recommends teaching coping skills.

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I never know what to say. And sometimes I try,

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but my kids would prefer to play like always

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when kids bring me a problem and say they would like help.

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I do use a cute checklist of coping strategies and we go through and mark them as yes,

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no or maybe to try even though that is not child-centered,

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I feel like I'm working in the shadows.

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Although your episodes about explaining play therapy

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to caregivers and teachers was very helpful.

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Any advice?

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Well, Deidra, thank you. And yes, I do have advice. So let's dive in.

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All right. Vets see, see how, how effective you were at pre

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at predicting this.

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Ok.

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So Deidre, let's start with, first of all,

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I'm so excited that you found play therapy before you even graduated.

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I'm so excited that as a

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first year supervised,

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you are trying to implement C CP T in your practice.

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That's so exciting and

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early in your career to be able to do this, it's a Godsend.

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So I hope that you're very satisfied in the path that you're on.

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So

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many, many of my listeners, many of my coaching participants,

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many of my collective members

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lament the same exact thing that their supervisor is not C CP T.

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So you and so many others are in the exact same position.

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And here's what I say to all of them and here's what I'm going to say to you, Deidre,

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you are adherent to the model,

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no matter what you are told from anyone at any time for any reason.

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And I don't say that to be flippant. I don't say that to be

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angry or judgmental or critical or anything.

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I'm saying it to encourage you. I was talking to Eric the other day.

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Actually, I think this morning as a matter of fact

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that so many people have said to me,

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I borrow your courage

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or the more I learn from you, you know, I absorb your confidence,

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I, I take in your competence

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and we were talking about those phrases earlier today.

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So that's why I brought that up because

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if you don't feel confident and competent and courageous enough,

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then borrow from me, borrow from those that have walked in this field for years.

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You know, we're,

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we're standing on the shoulders of giants

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and we know that C CP T works.

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So I'm not saying it to be confrontational or argumentative or even combative

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against other clinicians that aren't C CP T. But what we know

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is that C CP T works.

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And if it is the model that most closely aligns with who you are, if it is congruent

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with who you want to be as a practitioner.

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And if you are all in and you say I am C CP T notice that I said I am not, I'm going to do

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because it is a way of being not a skill set.

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That's something we always have to remember.

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If you say I am CPT

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your supervisor doesn't have the luxury of telling you to

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do something other than what you are trained to do.

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Theoretically.

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That would be the equivalent

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of

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a doctor coming into a room

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and saying

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I know that you are a heart surgeon,

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but I actually want you to

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do this G I thing

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because I think this is better

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if we have our lane,

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we have our training

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and we have what we know is our wheelhouse,

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someone else's advice, suggestion,

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hypothesis,

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encouragement, support, whatever.

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If it doesn't align with what we know we want to do,

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we say thank you. And we dismiss it.

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And I know that's tricky as a supervisor

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because we feel a little bit beholden to

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our supervisor telling us what to do and we're kind

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of supposed to listen because that's the role of supervision

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and the dynamic in supervision.

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The supervisor tells the supervising what to do.

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But your supervisor is providing you supervision for your hours.

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If your supervisor is not theoretically aligned with you. You have two choices.

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You either find a supervisor who is

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or you continue to receive supervision from this supervisor.

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But you say thank you and do your own thing.

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And that's again, that's not to

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create a huge stink. It's just to say if I'm CPT, I'm CPT,

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that's the end of the story.

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So Deidra, you are completely adherent

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to C CPT no matter what, that's where we start

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next.

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Kids learn

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what they need to,

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they work on what they need to,

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they address what they need to

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through C CPT.

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So the fact that your supervisor is saying you need to teach them coping skills.

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That's really ironic to me

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because they develop coping skills

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as a by-product of C CPT.

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We know that children learn how to cope more effectively

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as a result of the child-centered model.

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We know they build resilience, we know they build problem solving,

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we know they build all of the things that they need

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to better manage and handle situations.

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So we don't need to quote, teach them anything, they teach it to themselves,

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they figure it out themselves, they learn it themselves.

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Why would we want to take over

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and try to instruct something that they're going to naturally work through

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on their own if we just get out of their way.

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So they're naturally going to develop coping skills.

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We don't need to do anything to get them there

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and then my next thought is

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you mentioned

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when kids bring me a problem and say they would like help.

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Ok. That's a huge red flag to me.

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Here are my thoughts on that.

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A child would

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rarely, if ever,

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rarely if ever I, I can think of a handful in 20 years

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that it was genuinely from the child's mouth, genuinely.

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The child's desire and request

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a child is usually not going to quote, bring you a problem and, or say, quote,

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I want some help.

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You wanna know what that tells me.

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They have pressure from an adult in their life.

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Well, when you go see MS Brenna,

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you better tell her that you have problems sleeping and then she can help you.

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Well, when you go see Miss Brenna,

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you better talk to her about you getting in fights about in school.

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Well, when you go see Miss Brenna, her whole,

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the whole reason you go to her is so that she can help you.

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So you need to ask for help about this because Miss Brenna will help you.

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Do you see the,

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the lead in to a child coming in and saying or doing something like that?

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It's almost always pressure from an adult

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and or

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if you have not been fully aligned theoretically to C CPT,

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they have an expectation that they're supposed to talk to you about their problems.

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So if you've done any directive activities,

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if you've given them any indication that you're going to quote,

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help them with their problems,

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then they might feel compelled to bring it up

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because they think that that's expected of them.

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But in either scenario, that's not C CP T adherent and it's not CCT aligned.

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So if a,

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if a parent is putting pressure or if they feel that it's an expectation clinically,

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that is not something that they would naturally do

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unless that's the case.

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So I wanna make that really clear

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and

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you your checklist,

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I appreciate that. You said it's cute, but please throw it away

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and I say that with all the love and grace that I really truly have for you.

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But

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we do not do activities with kids in AC CPT playroom.

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Whether your supervisor is pressuring you to do it or not,

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whether a child asks you for help or not,

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you don't do a checklist

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to talk about coping strategies with kids.

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They're not developmentally capable of it. They don't have abstract reasoning,

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they don't want to think about it, they want to experience and feel it.

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So guess what? Let them play,

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let them work on their junk

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and they'll naturally develop coping strategies.

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You don't have to do a checklist with them, they'll figure it out.

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So trust the child, trust the model, trust the process.

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And if you follow it, if you are fully adherent,

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you will see the transformation

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Eric and I were walking this morning

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and I'm telling you all kinds of stories today. That's not on purpose.

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It's just coming out of my brain.

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We were on a walk this morning and

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I said,

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you would not believe how many people I just started a coaching group yesterday.

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So they were all introducing themselves.

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And one of the questions was why they love play therapy.

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And so many of them responded in their own way of saying

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because I've watched it work

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because I've seen it work because I've been in

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the playroom and I've had a front row seat

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to the transformation that takes place because I've watched

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the magic unfold right before my very eyes.

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I, I heard all kinds of variations of that phrase.

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So Eric and I were talking about that

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and he said,

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I'm gonna create a meme

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such a tech guy, right?

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So I'm like, hm, I wonder what your meme is going to be about.

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And he says,

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I, I'm paraphrasing, I'm probably gonna butcher what he said.

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But something along the lines of

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I,

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as soon as I became fully adherent to C CPT,

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I realized how much more favorable the outcomes

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are with kids in the playroom.

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Dash

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Every

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reformed Eclectic Play therapist or something like that.

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And I got to thinking about that and I was like,

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it's true when we are fully adherent, when we trust kids, when we trust the model,

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when we trust the process, when we get out of the way,

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when we stop doing all these other things and we just

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let the child do what the child needs to do.

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We see the outcomes, we see the growth, we see the change, we see the progress

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and guess what C CP works.

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So

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that's the moral of the story, Deidra, regardless of your supervisor,

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you now have your pep talk,

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you have your encouragement and your support and your

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courage and your confidence and all of those things

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to say, no matter what, I'm going to be fully adherent to C CPT

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because that's what's best for kids and I know it will work.

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And when you don't deviate, you watch that it works.

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So I hope that's encouraging to you. I hope that's encouraging to all of you

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for those of you that

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are struggling with a supervisor that is not C CP T

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we all understand the frustration of that,

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but you can still be C CP T in the midst of it.

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You can still do it.

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It's a willful decision

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and it's an everyday choice. It's an every session choice.

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It's in every moment in the playroom choice.

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I will not deviate,

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I will not deviate.

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And I know you think that

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I am C CP T extraordinaire. And thank you for all of the, the faith that you have in me,

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but I'll be really truthful with you. There were plenty of sessions

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early in my career

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where I was internally battling with myself in real time in a session.

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Should I say something. Should I bring that up? Should I suggest that?

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Should I introduce this? Should I,

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if you're saying should to yourself?

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A, the answer is no,

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b

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you're not

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adherent to the model.

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And my professor in grad school. No, in undergrad.

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One of our very first,

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the, the head of the psychology department, one of our very first

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class sessions said

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as a really helpful rule, you need to stop shooting all over yourself.

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I will never forget that.

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So

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if you're thinking,

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wow, I'm not sure if I should fill in the blank,

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you shouldn't

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and

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you're not adherent

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because the only thing you quote should do, actually, I'm going to change that.

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The only thing you must do

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is remain adherent to the framework and the model

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that's it.

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Use the reflective responses, use the pillars,

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act out the tenants

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be with attitudes,

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all of the principles that we understand that

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are the grounding and foundation of this model.

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That's all you must do

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and everything else will work itself out.

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All right, Deidra, thanks so much again

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for the rest of y'all. I love you. Hope this was helpful. We'll talk again soon. Bye.

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Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr

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brenna Hicks. For more episodes and resources.

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Please go to www dot Play Therapy Podcast dot com.