Episode 40 - Congratulations on joining the Imperial Guard! Here is a handy primer you can reference for any and all questions.

[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the Forty K-Lorecast.
[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to Forty-Cate Lorkas with me, John Barsani and Brad Chester.
[SPEAKER_02]: This guy, and today we'll be talking through what it's like to join the Astramelitarum for known as the Imperial Guard for thirty years.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what that first set of words you said, but we're talking about I. G. Imperial Guard, correct?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I really did.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was so weird that they flipped that over.
[SPEAKER_02]: They were like, oh, now they're, it's just, it was, it's six edition of seven edition code X. Where's the Cames Astronautar?
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it was.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it might have been eighth because that's when they changed.
[SPEAKER_01]: They renamed everything to have IP, so they could copy it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I actually know that was a reason.
[SPEAKER_02]: I just, I just, I just were all of a sudden you're like, if you're a guard and P.O.
[SPEAKER_02]: guard and P.O.
[SPEAKER_02]: guard and P.O.
[SPEAKER_01]: guard and P.O.
[SPEAKER_01]: guard.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's why the L.D.R.
[SPEAKER_01]: became L.D.R.
[SPEAKER_01]: because they can,
[SPEAKER_01]: trademark certain things on them.
[SPEAKER_01]: They made up their own names, even though they've had literature for forever about the others.
[SPEAKER_02]: Those just weren't born but four and a.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t.t
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it is legendary.
[SPEAKER_02]: We are effectively writing this cast after reading the Imperial Infantryman's uplifting primer because it might be the best thing GW.
[SPEAKER_01]: Also, there is, if you search on YouTube, there's a guy that narrates this and just reads it out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: It, I was playing Civ VI while listening to this dude read out the propaganda.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was right after I read it the first time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it is fantastic because it's, it's actually
[SPEAKER_01]: It's getting lower.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's good.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is canon lore.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is exceptionally well written.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm guessing from the book because it's got a date early, two thousand's late nineties.
[SPEAKER_02]: I actually don't know when it came out.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's because it's reference in the fifth and third edition code access.
[SPEAKER_01]: rates it's early.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so it's got to be that nineties.
[SPEAKER_02]: I probably should have looked that up, but we're already recording nothing with you.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not getting up seeing this hard.
[SPEAKER_02]: But for begin, please follow, like and follow the podcast, because that's what you're actually doing Spotify and leave un- and leave a positive repository of freedom, leave a negative review.
[SPEAKER_02]: But if you really, really want to leave a negative review, just tell options.
[SPEAKER_02]: One,
[SPEAKER_02]: join our discord and tell us directly, and we will fix it, or two, find the darkest, quietest room in your house, and shout into there, because... Or, finally, in a tournament, and tell me all about how terrible I am.
[SPEAKER_02]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, thanks.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, thanks for everybody in the discord.
[SPEAKER_01]: They keep attacking me and Marines can get poisons.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, they can get poisons, Brad.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not the one who wrote the rules wrong.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're the one who plays who actually plays Marines.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, lastly, Brad is not only a hostess podcast, but also a coach of Forty Kay.
[SPEAKER_02]: We weren't promoting this enough before we probably should.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
[SPEAKER_02]: If you were looking to kind of play the game more either on the table top or TTS, the noise, Brad is available for coaching.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can reach out to him at some email address.
[SPEAKER_01]: Old man, Brad, Forty Kay, gmail.com.
[SPEAKER_02]: not helpful.
[SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, just go to the www.thefortyklorcast.com.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's got a bio there.
[SPEAKER_02]: You click the bio little email him.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fortyklorcast.
[SPEAKER_02]: Try and figure out what he just said from an email address.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's start off with Brad, why would you join the Imperial Guard?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, obviously, you have undying love for the God Emperor.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're a savior and protector.
[SPEAKER_01]: The person that is keeping the entire Imperial safe from all comers.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they may get pretty scary, by the way.
[SPEAKER_02]: They can be pretty scary.
[SPEAKER_02]: And not as all comers.
[SPEAKER_02]: And also he's in duress.
[SPEAKER_02]: The key thing about.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's true.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's not just this.
[SPEAKER_02]: as much as powerful as the God Emperor is.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's also constantly being beset by evil forces.
[SPEAKER_01]: And he is the only person stopping them.
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you don't help him today, he might die tomorrow.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: By the way, the GW stole the stolen stole this from like if you're in the US, it's the uncle Sam.
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're in England, I don't know the name of it.
[SPEAKER_02]: It might just be what's his nuts.
[SPEAKER_02]: Not crossing from well because I'm a winks from chair to hell.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, sure, sure.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well
[SPEAKER_02]: And actually, it's actually not Churchill.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a random martial.
[SPEAKER_02]: But with pointing out at you, saying, join or I'll be that's, they stole this from that because it's awesome.
[SPEAKER_02]: But the truth is, yeah, the Emperor did, but the truth is, the truth to it, to be a guard's man is that the Emperor gave his physical self to stop the heresy.
[SPEAKER_02]: You as an imperial guard's man, you can now go fight side by side with the Emperor.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's a serial, but you're there for him.
[SPEAKER_01]: But you're, according again, according to this primer, the Emperor, the battle cry, the Emperor protects, and not in a
[SPEAKER_01]: He's there for you in spirit.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, the Emperor.
[SPEAKER_01]: He is protecting you with his powerful magic basically, which isn't completely wrong, by the way.
[SPEAKER_02]: The other option we should point out after our last cast is we could be talking about the Emperor in quotation marks because it's possible that the Emperor that you are here to say at the fight for has four arms.
[SPEAKER_01]: Also, this is such a bummer after we didn't talk about tear dance because half, about half of any GSE, written planning, their guard isn't the actual, but you've been working for them tirelessly.
[SPEAKER_01]: The entire time, and then you have to go, oh, man.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like Eric, Eric and I are friends, Eric's a tear in it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you sure?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, he literally shot, he shot Sam.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, since I've been seven years old, I've been fighting for these guys.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, yeah, you're the bad guy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, he's the horrible person and we need to go kill him and everyone that he's friends with.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm friends with him.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: Also, you should kill him, but also I'm just letting you know.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but also there's a, there's a commissar to watch you kill him.
[SPEAKER_01]: The afternoon schedule is going to be bad for you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: The funny part, though, is as we said in the last one, is that the guys who are in the Imperial Guard who are actually part of G. So we call maybe the best soldiers in that army too, because they're so desperate.
[SPEAKER_01]: Rocking up the numbers.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they're like, he's the bravest soldier I've ever seen.
[SPEAKER_02]: Did you see Bob fight?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Bob, Bob is brave.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, Bob, Bob really believes in the emperor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Bob's also really fast and strong.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's incredibly fast and incredibly strong.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm pretty sure he got shot five times.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, those royal glancing blows.
[SPEAKER_02]: Bob is just fine.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fast forward, forty years when the sky is falling with spores turns out Bob's a dick.
[SPEAKER_01]: Barbara, chin and man in your gods.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Really good reason to join the guard is you live in the high city and life sucks.
[SPEAKER_01]: Imperial Garden.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, the propaganda is pretty good.
[SPEAKER_01]: Also, even if you knew the truth, you'd still probably join the garden.
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're in the bottom of a high city and you know the truth of what will happen to you in the garden, and you know the truth of what will happen if you stay in the high city, the guards the right call.
[SPEAKER_01]: at least I'm getting fed and semi paid.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I mean, otherwise you're going to work in the live in a tiny box and then be recycled.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I think the joke I made here is true is that your best chance to interact with nobility when you're in a high city is to die be turned into the corpse starch that they eat.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like at least if you, because the truth is, if you join the guard, you do have a chance to end up on a planet.
[SPEAKER_01]: Of course, that's just gross.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you've seen Snowpiercer, it's basically that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I mean, it's, I mean, three for the game's old enough.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's, what's it called?
[SPEAKER_02]: Green.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's, um, certainly green.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, is people?
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, but also, maybe you just need to get away from something.
[SPEAKER_02]: Did you piss off a local gang?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I mean, right about the time that you just decided to stand up for your rights and then found out how little rights you actually have in the period.
[SPEAKER_02]: Those kids have been harassed and you and everyone around you that you said so much to go do something about.
[SPEAKER_02]: So maybe you hit one of them and then a Imperial festics explained you that those are his recruits.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're instantly only to make you know I'm to get off planet.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna leave or if just an inquisitor shows up and you happen to have talked to somebody that might have known I think that that guy might have known the mailman of the daughter of the guy that may have seen a chaos Colt is walk by one time you're like, yeah, I'm off planet
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you know, plan, or just even simple one, the one I more laugh at is, yeah, you actually do know what's going on.
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe you're like an R-bike or whatever it is.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you now have like stumbled upon a geezler-culton faction on your plan.
[SPEAKER_02]: You have two choices.
[SPEAKER_02]: One, tell someone about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Two, leave.
[SPEAKER_02]: If you have any knowledge of how they appear in functions, you go option two.
[SPEAKER_01]: He said in a non-in this email.
[SPEAKER_02]: On your way off planet.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: As you're about to warp, you're never going to see any of you again and neither will the imperial.
[SPEAKER_02]: The imperial guard will get you off plan.
[SPEAKER_02]: Is it going to get worse?
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, to quote, money, Python?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, making it worse.
[SPEAKER_02]: How could it be?
[SPEAKER_02]: And you were sin, yes, of course.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jehovah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Jehovah.
[SPEAKER_02]: One of the best lines of that entire movie.
[SPEAKER_02]: But the biggest reason, the biggest reason you joined the Imperial Guard is, uh, what, Brad?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, big old ship shows up and you get on the ship because everybody that doesn't get on the ship gets shot in the face.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not a choice here, guys.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes they don't even really tell you what you're getting on the ship for.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you were part of the planetary defense force.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it was.
[SPEAKER_02]: It was this local militia and we kind of police the streets of the thing neat.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now you're in the pure guard.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, roll roll that would back because that's the most.
[SPEAKER_01]: However, if they're not meeting their numbers and you're a baker and you happen to be outside.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you just joined the guard.
[SPEAKER_02]: I forgot about that.
[SPEAKER_02]: They used to, this is older lore and the older codex.
[SPEAKER_02]: They did refer that they were the, they did press gangs one year round.
[SPEAKER_01]: All the England and like the, they, they're legitimately at a counter and you're like, we were supposed to pick up ten thousand.
[SPEAKER_01]: We only got nine thousand.
[SPEAKER_01]: Grab those people and people are like,
[SPEAKER_02]: What it's a guy with groceries just wait what I but I mean it's all corp starts, but still I was going with this and like all right I guess I'm going here Thanks for the last time in the garage you guys know that I I literally have a farmer you're like not anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay
[SPEAKER_02]: What's going to happen to me?
[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing great.
[SPEAKER_02]: One, I'm sorry.
[SPEAKER_02]: We do it through the impure primer.
[SPEAKER_02]: Lots of things great.
[SPEAKER_02]: Good news.
[SPEAKER_02]: Good news.
[SPEAKER_01]: We just change your life for the better.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're wasting your life away, just making widgets.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now you get to do something with your life for the emperor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, this is a commissar.
[SPEAKER_02]: He doesn't look super excited by scalling at me with his weird hat.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, we're going to explain.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't worry about him.
[SPEAKER_01]: He also looks like he's not a full part of any of these platoons.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, just don't worry about him.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's he's here to support you in the the largest air quotes that have ever been written.
[SPEAKER_02]: But so what to expect?
[SPEAKER_02]: You are now a member of the Imperial Guard.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well,
[SPEAKER_01]: So sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: I had fun right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: I know, you know, screw it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just going over the notes right now.
[SPEAKER_01]: Congratulations, you're part of the card.
[SPEAKER_01]: The best is I couldn't stop laughing because when I play the game, I read the lore and the top thing, and this is part of the primer, you and our part of the greatest fighting force, the universe is ever known, which isn't technically wrong.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have the greatest weaponry.
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is like bananas pants, wrong.
[SPEAKER_01]: The best armor.
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you know some guys, you'll see some guys probably.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you'll see a term in a armor, who will actually go down to your rifle, though.
[SPEAKER_01]: My favorite is just because of the way we fight.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I say, I love we.
[SPEAKER_01]: The greatest tactics.
[SPEAKER_01]: The base tactic of the, I'm sorry, there's a bunch of great tactics.
[SPEAKER_01]: But the overview of the Imperium is we have more people than anyone else.
[SPEAKER_02]: We are the, we are the rabbits of the galaxy.
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll just grind you down.
[SPEAKER_01]: But they also the best leadership.
[SPEAKER_01]: Weirdly enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the book you're reading, but also it's hard to say that you have better leadership with people that can see into the future.
[SPEAKER_02]: But you're missing the best part.
[SPEAKER_02]: You also have the full protection of the golden throne.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're not invincible.
[SPEAKER_02]: Who's really going to be able to stand up to the might of the imperial?
[SPEAKER_02]: And you have to give the alien idiot or a coward would have posed the imperial.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is
[SPEAKER_02]: By the way, a actual quote from the book that's straight at the book, and I'm like, yeah, but we're writing this one down.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, length of service.
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's the even better news.
[SPEAKER_02]: Your length of service in the guard is not a separate of time.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're not fighting the guard for ten years and twenty years.
[SPEAKER_02]: You only have to fight for one engagement.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, that's all it is.
[SPEAKER_02]: A single engage.
[SPEAKER_02]: And like we said, you have the light of the emperor behind you.
[SPEAKER_02]: One single engagement.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're good to go.
[SPEAKER_02]: The imperial will triumph and you will retire to live on one of the newly settled planets that we are conquering this galaxy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thanks to your contributions.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's so great.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because the special and the eastern fringe.
[SPEAKER_01]: The only one engagement.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to wait for the tall people to find out.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I love that there's one engagement in the fact is is the engagement never ends.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, well, it's one engagement.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, what is the engagement?
[SPEAKER_02]: The elimination of the tyrannids.
[SPEAKER_02]: Can it be wild?
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be a rough one.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, what if I'm not in that one?
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, we're going to close the eye of terror.
[SPEAKER_01]: Which is not the right one.
[SPEAKER_02]: Is it the riff now?
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, we're going to close it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, what are we building?
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I mean, we're gonna shoot everything that that comes out of it.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, but then it doesn't close.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, yeah, no, you can't.
[SPEAKER_02]: We got this trust me.
[SPEAKER_02]: If we just kill enough for the middle close, you'll find out.
[SPEAKER_02]: So now that you're in the guard, what, what do you start learning?
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think the first thing you learn is sure a lot of rules around here.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, also you have to find that you also find out that hey, if you don't follow the rules, actually it's not even that.
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll both let that sound in way too early.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I felt like a heretic just saying that.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't question the rules.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just follow the rules.
[SPEAKER_01]: You just get shot if you don't.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, yeah, there's lots of rules.
[SPEAKER_02]: And, but the rules are important.
[SPEAKER_02]: The reason we have the rules is that you just have to, you have to follow all of them under pain and or death.
[SPEAKER_02]: Usually both have a sound.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just, but they exist though for a good reason.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because every guard's man is a critical piece of the war against their enemies.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like a guard's man, you can forget that a guard's man
[SPEAKER_02]: is an unfettered killing machine.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you can't just let an unfettered killing machine operate with impunity.
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to have rules for what?
[SPEAKER_02]: For the incredible force we are going to turn you into, we got to have rules in place.
[SPEAKER_02]: The galaxy would just follow a part by individual guardsmen just dominating planets.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, how would you ever stop them?
[SPEAKER_02]: So a couple of the key rules, um, cowardice, shot, drunk on duty, flogged and probably shot, striking an officer.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, shot and then probably shot while you're dead again, failure to salute.
[SPEAKER_01]: That one, you don't get shot.
[SPEAKER_01]: You just get beaten until you almost die.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, my favorite one is disrespecting an officer.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're opinion.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Not yours.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're opinion.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also shot, uh, complaining about how an officer treated you.
[SPEAKER_01]: When you put down flawed by set officer, but oftentimes it ends with you being shot after he falls.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but the bad dude like the whoever you complained about beats you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then it was actually that's a better point.
[SPEAKER_01]: The person you complained about beats you and then someone else.
[SPEAKER_01]: Here's like, oh man, that was the worst.
[SPEAKER_02]: This book is the goal fighting another soldier.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is wildly different because for some unknown reason, if John and I get to fight in the bar, we get hang.
[SPEAKER_02]: We always don't want to always have boulder shot on them.
[SPEAKER_02]: What am I favorite one is not showing enough love towards the emperor, which is like, what kind of monster would do this?
[SPEAKER_01]: And also, this is even worse.
[SPEAKER_01]: We might talk about this a smidge later, penal colony, which then you're asking someone to shoot.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will try to escape as much as humanly possible, just to try to get you to go.
[SPEAKER_02]: Not showing enough love towards the emperor is different than making a negative comment about the emperor.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's no.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, who's vlogging shop.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fog a shop.
[SPEAKER_02]: My other one is worshiping a false idol.
[SPEAKER_01]: You want to get flogged in shot because they turn you into a servider, which a servider, I mean, some of the servitors completely have no awareness.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, but the worst type of servider when you do it just right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, just got to get still as conscious more just correct.
[SPEAKER_02]: The biggest one that was harboring a siker, which this is crazy.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is in the primer box.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, we did also.
[SPEAKER_01]: So they whip you, which yes, of course, they did their flag ever.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then for some reason, they blind you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they take your eyes out and then they hang you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you're just like, why the extra step?
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, no trial, by the way, if an officer decides you did this, it's over.
[SPEAKER_02]: But that, remember, that's not because your officer is a psychopath.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's because the ever guiding light of the Emperor is within them.
[SPEAKER_02]: So there can't be a mistake.
[SPEAKER_02]: Correct, because the Emperor sees all, and sees all through his own office or commissar.
[SPEAKER_01]: You were issued orders, just deal with them.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but it's not all bad though.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, that's all the bad stuff.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's talk about the good stuff.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, there's so much more bad stuff.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's mostly good.
[SPEAKER_02]: Come on, you get you're trained in the ways of war by the imperium of mankind, the most successful military in the history of the galaxy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't sell them short.
[SPEAKER_02]: You will be molded into a sentence.
[SPEAKER_02]: You'll be coming from a man or woman because a guard, by the way, all the models are male in the lore is crossed because they grab every book.
[SPEAKER_02]: Which would also obviously just make sense.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you don't, you don't, if you're trying to wage a war against the galaxy, you don't only use fifty percent of your freaking citizens.
[SPEAKER_01]: You literally look like a whale going for school.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I'm just pulling every.
[SPEAKER_02]: If you just get everything.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to turn you into a weapon of war.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fans out there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, it's going to look like a lot of marching and listening to rules, but that's just also really lots of preaching.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: But that's how you go down to warfare.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it is, if you can't walk in and line, I mean, you are going to get, you're going to get hand to hand combat.
[SPEAKER_02]: range combat artillery combat, utilize the emperors might not waste psychic powers.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's important.
[SPEAKER_01]: The ship that you cruise on would have been very diary, very different.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the best part is working to teach you
[SPEAKER_02]: How do I identify and defeat all the foes of mankind knowing all their weaknesses?
[SPEAKER_02]: This is, and the good news about that, we'll get to it in a little bit, is all of the enemies of mankind are riddled with, with, with, exploitable weaknesses.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it is pretty, it's like, really, once you, once you've understood, once you've really been trained properly by the guard, you'll realize how little a threat a tyrannid gene's dealer actually is.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you're also equipped with,
[SPEAKER_02]: Imperial Garden equipment, which is top tier, is the greatest equipment ever created.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, you are gonna, because, remember, when you are stuck on that high-world building all of those things, now you get to reap the rewards.
[SPEAKER_01]: even though you're not wearing any of those.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, you'd be thinking, you're like, they give you a loss, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Full, they're like, what are you going to last?
[SPEAKER_02]: We're getting some a second, but we are going to give you the greatest weaponry clothing, armor, food.
[SPEAKER_02]: You won't need it, but medical care, just in the rare situation that you make a mistake and get injured.
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's definitely on you.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're also going to be transported around in some of the most sophisticated and well-built ships and aircraft.
[SPEAKER_02]: ever in sixty five million years.
[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing.
[SPEAKER_01]: I do want to do the side note on that because that's one of my favorites because when they do the lore from the other aspect when they talk about Eldar and other places seeing our ships and they talk about all of our ships as being nightmares inside of.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Why did they make this?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like is this some sort of prison ship like are you punishing people?
[SPEAKER_01]: Nope.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's just how we build them.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're like, why would you do that to anyone?
[SPEAKER_02]: I personally, the neck runs could talk.
[SPEAKER_02]: They would walk into some of the ships, but seriously, guys.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is cold.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're doing robots in this world.
[SPEAKER_02]: We have no outward feeling whatsoever, and we're like, we at least put the paint on the wall.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now remember, as an imperial guardsman.
[SPEAKER_02]: you only have yourself to blame if something doesn't go right.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, also, the, the, the, the, the, the, the period has expanded, but great expense and effort to outfit you with the greatest weaponry armor and equipment in the entire galaxy.
[SPEAKER_01]: We've also the greatest training.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and the greatest training.
[SPEAKER_02]: So all you need to do is basic.
[SPEAKER_02]: Ready to the emperor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Clean and maintain your equipment.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, Bay your commander.
[SPEAKER_02]: Follow the manual.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the manual actually does have.
[SPEAKER_01]: and answer to everything.
[SPEAKER_01]: However, they're terrible answers.
[SPEAKER_01]: But then you do have to really answer to everything.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, they're doing amazing.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're digging to some of them here.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, so what's out of your basics?
[SPEAKER_02]: The most powerful weapon in the galaxy.
[SPEAKER_01]: The last one has rifle.
[SPEAKER_01]: Sorry, known by everyone in Forty K when you play as I'm going to shoot my flashlights at you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Your last gun is a marvel of technology.
[SPEAKER_02]: Nothing ever built has been more reliable, accurate or powerful than it.
[SPEAKER_02]: It can even take incredible amounts of abuse.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can hit people with it.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can drop it.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can put it in mud.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can submerge it.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can use it as a digging tool.
[SPEAKER_01]: Weirdly enough, that isn't just propaganda on that part.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, but there is a side note on that.
[SPEAKER_02]: If you take your last rifle and you submerge it in water, get it dirty or hit something with it, that is a violation of the treatment of your rifle, according to your handbook, and you will be shot accordingly.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, this would be a little bit odd odds with what you were just told.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: So given the power and capabilities of the last gun, you do need to make sure that you take care of it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to talk about the limits.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, no, I got to get my cheat together.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, this is my fair part of this.
[SPEAKER_02]: Come on.
[SPEAKER_02]: So there are certain things you have to do when taking care of your last rifle.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not just that you have to actually do them, but you host all to make sure that you're
[SPEAKER_02]: expressing the proper love of the emperor while doing it.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, Brad, if I'm, let's say I wanted to put a new power pack in my, and in my right way, do you have to do the living of loading?
[SPEAKER_01]: Which, by the way, when I say let me, these are not short prayers.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're not bad.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're quick poems.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're in the back of the primer, by the way, you can look them all.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just saying, it's not like you're like,
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope this magazine works.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not too words.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's quite a few.
[SPEAKER_02]: And also you're supposed to do this in battle.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, yeah, this is this is all lie.
[SPEAKER_02]: Who could do this ahead of time?
[SPEAKER_02]: Because then the emperor won't know you need him.
[SPEAKER_02]: Same with if you need it, if your power pack is empty, get the unload your power pack.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a two step process.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to do a litany of loading and a litany of unloading.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not fast.
[SPEAKER_02]: You might get killed while this is happening.
[SPEAKER_02]: But let's say once you're back at base after conquering your enemy, you have to disassemble your last gun, you better make that picture you do to let me of the last gun.
[SPEAKER_01]: When you're just assembly, this is one of my favorites because after you've just fought, obviously one of the low powered, low technology fights, you're gonna fight.
[SPEAKER_01]: and you go back and you're also cleaning out your pants because you probably just proved yourself because it's scariest thing in the universe.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're just like, hey man, it's based on where you do poop.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: It also, again, you were told all this in my primary, and then I don't know a hive tire, a demon prince.
[SPEAKER_01]: Any, a race showed up in materialized in the middle of people.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you're like, hey, man, I'm Brad some dude from Earth.
[SPEAKER_01]: This was pretty scary.
[SPEAKER_02]: But you still have to disassemble your last gun.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I have to do the litany.
[SPEAKER_01]: And while I'm currently working through my now trauma, if I don't do the litany, a ever present commissar will shoot you in the past.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's good news, but also no forget when you put that last rifle back together.
[SPEAKER_02]: do your litany of the patient because otherwise there's one of purpose to it and then when you're you also you probably have pretty dirty while fighting your steam imprints so make sure you do your litany of cleanliness after polishing
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, we're going to go into one of my favorite because it's about to be the most important because if you don't do the living of un-jamming, I mean, you could clear out, you know, the rifle, or you could say a prayer to un-jam your weapon.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think when I have a guard army at play of occasion, I think maybe next time when I'm shooting with my last rifles before I shoot, I should just do the litany of un-jamming.
[SPEAKER_02]: But make sure you get maximum shots.
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought you'll hit more.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, Oak.
[SPEAKER_02]: emperor ever do this for the record, but I would love to buy a bunch of loaded dice.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, you're quit towards me.
[SPEAKER_02]: It constantly just do litany of on jamming or litany of accuracy.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to go one up on it.
[SPEAKER_01]: We talked about this.
[SPEAKER_02]: I go, I want to do this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will not do this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted somebody to do it, but you have to make it.
[SPEAKER_01]: It can't be like loaded like, you know, cheap type dice.
[SPEAKER_01]: It has to be loaded like they can only roll a six average dice.
[SPEAKER_02]: I couldn't make a bunch of dice.
[SPEAKER_02]: I actually just pick a bunch of, they're all like five and sixes.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's because I said, the lit me, I get to roll those.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you have to make them wild, the counterweight.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just like rock back and forth.
[SPEAKER_02]: I would make.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, just drill all of them.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: I think I should take this all five and sixes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just don't even make it five and sixes.
[SPEAKER_01]: Make it only sixes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, that would be the lit me evacuracy.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: My bad.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I will say the other one is that just remember that if you don't do the correctlet, Nathan, you will anger the machine spirit.
[SPEAKER_01]: Which sadly, this is actually a real thing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, new machine spirit.
[SPEAKER_01]: All of these other things are complete and total idiocy and trash.
[SPEAKER_01]: However, weirdly enough, they have embodied multiple vehicles with a machine spirit.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is actually something that will get mad at you and not inner.
[SPEAKER_01]: just not worked.
[SPEAKER_02]: So I would also remind everyone it's important as Imperial guardsmen, because what we're talking about here, if you are found with a non-functioning lasgun, you will be shot.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's one hundred percent your fault.
[SPEAKER_02]: Why did you not let the correct letting me?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean, you could have had your gun jam because it's basically full of blood from everyone dying around you and getting their bodies exploded by psychic attacks.
[SPEAKER_02]: Why would that affect the last kind of rifle, Brad?
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not perfectly designed weapon.
[SPEAKER_01]: Clearly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe if you just, if you'd recite the letting the of cleanliness, all that blood wouldn't have gotten inside it.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's caused by the spade here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, there may be moments that will come up to you as a garden where you, you're actually outnumbered, and your las rifle's not enough.
[SPEAKER_02]: Good news.
[SPEAKER_02]: You have been issued an imperial frag grenade.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, way that they tell you to use these as fantastic.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll be right back after a quick break.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, it's very simple system.
[SPEAKER_02]: Twist the timer to set, pull the pin,
[SPEAKER_02]: Save the prayer of the channel.
[SPEAKER_02]: Throw it at the enemy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, before throwing at the enemy, make sure you also recite the ode of timing and the chant of accuracy.
[SPEAKER_01]: What was you if you don't know these or if you speak in a slow cadence?
[SPEAKER_02]: That's very important.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, remember, if you fail to take out your opponents with a frag grenade,
[SPEAKER_02]: You really have only yourself to play.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, yeah, obviously, that goes to the same.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, there may be also moments where, as a Gardsman, the enemy will shoot at you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Good news.
[SPEAKER_02]: Every Gardsman, no matter what world you come from or how low your birth.
[SPEAKER_02]: is equipped with state-of-the-art armaments that will ensure your survival in the battlefield inside note in the history of the Imperium.
[SPEAKER_02]: No guard's man has ever, no, ever recorded as dying due to armor malfunction.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's hard for a bulletproof vest to malfunction because that's what you're wearing, kids.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're wearing flat armor.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is specifically designed for the combat you're going to encounter in the galaxy.
[SPEAKER_01]: As long as the encounter is people trying to shoot you center mass with something that is a forty five millimeter or less.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: and at a good this, not a close.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[SPEAKER_02]: True.
[SPEAKER_01]: It does stop something.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I just for the listeners and when I say this is overlapping armor, feel free to look up any picture of an Imperial guardsman to see how overlapping this armor is.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a bulletproof vest.
[SPEAKER_01]: You do have a helmet though.
[SPEAKER_02]: You should.
[SPEAKER_02]: Some guys have poldrons, not kind of chains.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, they did not.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I kind of changed and they might.
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't even have, they have vests.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're not even aware.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're they're topless, character.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, stay in if any, I mean, I mean, I didn't mean bulletproof vests.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, some of the guys are wearing just vests.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, most of our topics I'm saying, but they're wearing like, you know, the, I'm getting ready for my, yeah, my stripper in a wedding game.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you'd with the light of the emperor, Brian, why are you not, why are you not following the system?
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know that Timmy that was working at Vegas stripping at the same arm.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I'm the problem.
[SPEAKER_02]: Brian doesn't understand that he, these guys are reciting the litany of protection and
[SPEAKER_02]: and the ritual of strength before going to war.
[SPEAKER_01]: True.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is, that is a big deal.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's important.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, if your armor is found and not be clean, uh, you'll be shot.
[SPEAKER_00]: Hmm.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, some guardsmen, they very specifically primarily,
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll find themselves in a hostile infamous sphere.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, we're out.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, or worse yet, an enemy that's using barbaric tactics, like chemical or poison warfare, which we use constantly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't worry.
[SPEAKER_02]: Luckily for you, not the space Marines, but for you, we have a solution in place.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hard guardsmen better at dealing with poison.
[SPEAKER_02]: And Marines, for the rules, they're not.
[SPEAKER_02]: But as I was running this, I was thinking how awesome it would be if Krieg was like a mutant poison.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because we have so much.
[SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, as regards men, is issued a state of the art gas mask.
[SPEAKER_01]: As long as the state and our is somewhere around nineteen forty.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, that nineteen seventeen.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's check.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to do more.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're doing the wrong one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, my.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is the one where it comes from.
[SPEAKER_02]: So every the mask is to be adorned whenever your commander says so when you do so, as always, if you die from poison or from whatever chemicals, it's because you forgot to recite the litany of vacuum as placing it on your face.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that these are actual things, by the way.
[SPEAKER_01]: I want everybody to know it's not like we're just like, yeah, we are not making it.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're not like, this is not zero percent of the updates.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is Tony and she, haha, this is straight from multiple GW sources and it is all of the, we haven't even talked about the litany to start.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, we'll get there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: One of my other ones too is that while wearing your gas mask.
[SPEAKER_02]: the entire time you're fighting, while also reciting litness of accuracy and litness of time, you know, with you need to be constantly lit and reciting both the professional faith and the litness of protection so that none of the alien gas gets in your mask.
[SPEAKER_02]: So you do that the whole time you're fighting at all times, otherwise the mask may fail.
[SPEAKER_02]: Another really important point is that
[SPEAKER_02]: do not under any circumstances of try to inspect or repair the canister that is attached to your gas mask.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is for a tech seeer only.
[SPEAKER_02]: We have an entire different set of lilies and I'm going I'm quoting here.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's interworkings are impossible for a guardsman to understand.
[SPEAKER_02]: So don't try.
[SPEAKER_02]: If you do try and we see you doing it you will be shot.
[SPEAKER_02]: You will be shot.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're seeing a common theme here, by the way.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, once joining the guard, you may notice some of your other soldiers are different, because the Imperial Guard has made up of all citizens of the Imperium.
[SPEAKER_02]: The Emperor's love extends to all of his subjects.
[SPEAKER_02]: No matter what world they come from, no matter what they're background.
[SPEAKER_01]: All of his citizens.
[SPEAKER_02]: They are all equal unless you get too abhuman.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then those are citizens.
[SPEAKER_02]: Those are those are a combination.
[SPEAKER_02]: Those are dirty Zenos.
[SPEAKER_02]: It should be slaughtered.
[SPEAKER_02]: Unless you're really useful, cough copulgan.
[SPEAKER_02]: But look at them in a second.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: So no matter, it's just some of them maybe more brash than others.
[SPEAKER_02]: But remember, you are here together to conquer the foes of the emperor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Although,
[SPEAKER_02]: If you do see someone doing things that are forbidden, this is so good.
[SPEAKER_02]: You better report it immediately.
[SPEAKER_02]: Or you'll be shot.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, failure to report a fellow soldiers in proper actions, you will be executed.
[SPEAKER_01]: You got to take that to the next level.
[SPEAKER_01]: If they find out someone's doing something that was in with you and you didn't report it, and then you go to the next part of it, which is
[SPEAKER_01]: Why didn't you know about it?
[SPEAKER_01]: Of course.
[SPEAKER_01]: You will also still be in the past little bishop.
[SPEAKER_01]: More of the story is someone's doing some shit that they're not supposed to do.
[SPEAKER_01]: Kill them secretly and quietly and move on with your life.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's pretty much what you're supposed to do.
[SPEAKER_02]: One of the most important things you need to know as a guard's man is your command structure.
[SPEAKER_02]: Know your rank and every rank above you and understand how to identify everyone's rank around you.
[SPEAKER_02]: And you want to above you, they tell you what to do.
[SPEAKER_02]: You will do it.
[SPEAKER_02]: Anyone below you trying to tell you what to do should be reprimanded, reprimanded instantly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, by the way, at your own discretion.
[SPEAKER_01]: You decide one exception here or the commissars tell us there's pretty much operate independent of the chain of command.
[SPEAKER_01]: They can be snuffed out by
[SPEAKER_01]: I guess big wigs, you know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_01]: Like Lord Solar is not going to start what to do.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: But Commissar shouldn't be snuffed out because the immortal emperor and his wisdom and divinity has charged these noble soldiers with upholding his will on the battlefield.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that you say, they lead his forces with zeal.
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't ever lead.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're in the front lines.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Right behind the front lines.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why it says in the imperial primer, should you ever feel that your nerve is fraying and you're, look to your commissar for inspiration, because believe me,
[SPEAKER_02]: He's looking at you.
[SPEAKER_01]: That was the best part about the commissars.
[SPEAKER_01]: Weirdly enough, they're not really looking over the battlefield that often.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: The commissar should you falter?
[SPEAKER_02]: Just know, your commissar seems all.
[SPEAKER_02]: And he's got a boulder that doesn't just work against the enemy.
[SPEAKER_01]: Weirdly enough, it seems to be aimed at the back of a lot of people's heads.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't worry, he's a motivational speaker.
[SPEAKER_02]: Very motivational speaker.
[SPEAKER_02]: He's just shot Eric.
[SPEAKER_01]: In the head.
[SPEAKER_01]: Eric almost turned in round.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Eric said, oh, no.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then Eric's head exploded from behind.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then the rest of us got much braver.
[SPEAKER_02]: But you also will have cat priests serving next to you.
[SPEAKER_02]: This equipment we're giving you is highly technical and you could not maintain it, but don't worry.
[SPEAKER_02]: The adaptive mechanics has granted us their best.
[SPEAKER_02]: Only their best tech priests to help maintain all of your equipment.
[SPEAKER_01]: Not really sure why I gave John the okay symbol.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, that's fine.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is beautiful stuff.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, a key part of your tech priest, if a tech priest becomes endangered by an enemy force, is the job of every guard's men to lay their life down a protection of these critical assets.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because if you don't have a tech priest, nothing's going to work.
[SPEAKER_01]: Ever.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: But you may sit there and say to yourself, well, what if I do feel fear in the battlefront?
[SPEAKER_02]: And I don't want to get shot in the back of the head.
[SPEAKER_02]: Is the Imperium thought of me?
[SPEAKER_01]: We try to look at each of you.
[SPEAKER_01]: We have priests to spread the word of the Emperor.
[SPEAKER_01]: Also, to spread the word of the Emperor to planets that haven't heard of the word of the Emperor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because a lot of the worlds you will be sent to haven't discovered the light of the Emperor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I don't know, a filthy cow people who seem to have the wrong opinion.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't worry.
[SPEAKER_02]: We've equipped with priests to help you spread the light, but also
[SPEAKER_02]: The ecclesiarch masters will be there to help drive you on the battlefront.
[SPEAKER_02]: So you can feel the light of the emperor as you charge into your enemy forces.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just thinking about how on a quick side to get out of out of our character, I'll show here.
[SPEAKER_01]: insanely annoying would it be that you've just escaped with your life you had this battle luckily you didn't die everybody surprised at this you're mumbling all your litanies the snow and shoot you while you're doing them and then you have one of these priests
[SPEAKER_01]: just giving his rousing shitty performance that he got kicked out of high school drama for about awesome the love of the emperor is and all you're doing is going man, I sure hope I don't die tonight this sucks.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, just spoiler alert this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, if you could just be quiet for just a second.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's, can you just, please, just put it down, even just settle it down for just a minute.
[SPEAKER_01]: But instead, they're in your base camp, it's my own video.
[SPEAKER_02]: You also may have a primary psychor, a son of you.
[SPEAKER_02]: not to be confused with regular psychers who are to be shot on site.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, they're obviously paratics.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: They are an unfortunate need in our fight against the heretics because they can't help turn the tide against our most evil foes.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they also have a group of people with them.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Who's job?
[SPEAKER_01]: I guess I'm doing full air quotes on this handlers.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a bunch of guys that are pointed at the psych or to shoot him if anything goes wrong.
[SPEAKER_02]: But even with those people, there's some very simple rules for every guard's been interacting with a siker.
[SPEAKER_02]: Do not speak to the siker.
[SPEAKER_02]: Do not look the siker in the eye.
[SPEAKER_02]: However, if you see the siker or their handle is acting in a strange way, shoot them right away.
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't don't take the chances.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because while they're designed to be your ally, you need to understand a siker can be a foe in an instant.
[SPEAKER_01]: Always, hair takes can be anywhere.
[SPEAKER_02]: You also, depending on where you're from, may have never seen an absubing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Not to be confused with the Zeno.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is one of my favorite parts about the imperium.
[SPEAKER_01]: It just gives me the dog holiday.
[SPEAKER_01]: Apparently why there is no limit to my hypocrisy.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know I ruined that line, but yes, that's basically what he says.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that is what the period does because they go kill all Zenos, all mutants.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, wait a second, what is your, what is your mutation?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or are you good at that?
[SPEAKER_01]: That seems like fairly useful.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, don't kill that one.
[SPEAKER_02]: That one's a lot.
[SPEAKER_02]: So the first one will discuss that you may be, that you may be sitting with would be an ogre.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, the fusion.
[SPEAKER_01]: Say what the ogre.
[SPEAKER_02]: You don't want to sit with the ogre and it does kind of suck a little bit.
[SPEAKER_02]: while they are very low intelligence to the point where some of them can't speak.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because they're an oh, girl.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're in no care.
[SPEAKER_02]: Know that they love the Emperor, leaving more than you do.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, they do.
[SPEAKER_02]: And in combat, they can handle even the greatest of the Emperor's opponents.
[SPEAKER_02]: However,
[SPEAKER_02]: They can be confused easily.
[SPEAKER_01]: One of my favorites is that they had to be accompanied.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is a rule.
[SPEAKER_01]: They had to be accompanied by a leader because they wouldn't get if they weren't accompanied by a leader.
[SPEAKER_01]: they wouldn't get in vehicles.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the rule was, it's dark in there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, we'll cover that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's
[SPEAKER_02]: then you and have hairy feet, cough cough, their habits.
[SPEAKER_02]: They do have incredible eyesight, and so we use my snipers.
[SPEAKER_01]: They have weird telescoppy eyesight actually.
[SPEAKER_02]: So while you may find their temperament and their presence of nerve-ing, no, they are critical to your war effort.
[SPEAKER_01]: However, you found another race that wasn't as useful.
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to kill them, maybe.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I don't know.
[SPEAKER_02]: These are only two.
[SPEAKER_02]: Your look to your commander.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's how you.
[SPEAKER_01]: True.
[SPEAKER_01]: What am I saying?
[SPEAKER_01]: You're not making decisions.
[SPEAKER_02]: Look to your command.
[SPEAKER_02]: Your commander will be very clear to you in which of the species you're allowed to keep and which ones you're not.
[SPEAKER_02]: So let's spend some time talking about what your role will be in the Imperial Guard.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because all guardsmen are expected to perform for the Imperial, but the Imperial is intelligent and all knowing.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it knows that some of you will excel in certain areas versus others.
[SPEAKER_02]: Those of you who are very good at stealth will be employed as a scout.
[SPEAKER_02]: Not the children that Brad used to use tabletop, this room at orcs.
[SPEAKER_01]: Hardfall.
[SPEAKER_01]: You shouldn't have been immune to poison, please.
[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, no, they didn't have full power.
[SPEAKER_01]: They didn't have a whole power.
[SPEAKER_01]: They definitely were sent.
[SPEAKER_02]: So those of you who are there, you will be granted the honor of being able to move ahead of your regiment completely exposed.
[SPEAKER_01]: Weirdly enough, this might actually be safer than a lot of the other engagements though.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, it's important because you're going to go and search for the enemies to learn their movements, record their size of their forces and discover the attack opportunities for your fellow guardsmen.
[SPEAKER_01]: Which is a kind of a bummer sometimes when you meet your opponents scouting units, which have magic.
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fine.
[SPEAKER_02]: They have magic, but you know what you have.
[SPEAKER_02]: The little stuff.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's true.
[SPEAKER_01]: You just have to say that.
[SPEAKER_01]: The little.
[SPEAKER_01]: The little stuff and the protection of the emperor.
[SPEAKER_02]: So all you need to do is recite the litany of stealth.
[SPEAKER_02]: Kill the opponent scouts.
[SPEAKER_02]: You may want to say a prayer and visibility to help you to make it even more useful when scouting and hostile territory, but be sure to eliminate any enemy scouts.
[SPEAKER_02]: always silent.
[SPEAKER_02]: Come on.
[SPEAKER_02]: Come on.
[SPEAKER_02]: For those of you who are not granted by the Emperor's will to be good at stealth and scouting, you will be able to go out on patrol.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thanks to your brave scout comrades though, don't worry, you will know where all the enemies are.
[SPEAKER_02]: Their position and their weakness.
[SPEAKER_01]: every single guard story that I've ever read.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, whoever is on patrol always instantly dies.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, it's it's the beginning of every star trek, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's it's whatever chapter begins with a battle.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's always the whoever's on patrol duty instantly gets decently and usually a terrible way.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know why?
[SPEAKER_02]: Because the novels you read.
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't do step three here, which is make sure you shout the litany of smiting.
[SPEAKER_02]: or you attack the foe.
[SPEAKER_02]: And books are ready for the recital at the estimating.
[SPEAKER_02]: They did not want to see.
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's why it didn't work out.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because they didn't remember also.
[SPEAKER_01]: Obviously they didn't take it to heart that the enemies of mankind are weak and cowardly.
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's just pretty basic to me.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, you will spend most of your time in the guard.
[SPEAKER_02]: guarding for lack of a better phrase.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what, I mean, we're going to, we're going to dump Papa Yana for just a second.
[SPEAKER_01]: The guard for this one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because guarding freaking rocks.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: It sucks.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it's like the best thing that can happen.
[UNKNOWN]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Cause like if you're just sitting guarding an installation of fortress, you know, a research facility, sorry, research,
[SPEAKER_01]: full airports because we did this last week research facility.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're just sitting on one of these, there's a chance and a great damn effort that nothing actually happens, especially if you were towards the inner core, if you're on Star Wars, not even on Kedia.
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'm saying, if you're just guarding one of the logistic agro worlds, there's a good chance
[SPEAKER_01]: nothing actually happens.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you're going to get ruined when something actually does happen, but this is like the pinnacle of what a guard's men's life is.
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, I am on the boring guard duty.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm on boring guard duty.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I hit the lot.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, what will you, what do you do on guard duty?
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you stand vigilant and alert for any movement.
[SPEAKER_02]: because the life of you and your fellow soldiers are hands.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, remember what happens if you don't remain vigilant.
[SPEAKER_02]: You get shot.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also though, if you see suspicious activity, you are to raise the alarm.
[SPEAKER_02]: However, raising a false alarm could expose us to the enemy, so you will be shot.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so fantastic with that.
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you see something, we're not, don't say something, investigate the something.
[SPEAKER_02]: and immediately get killed.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, if you leave your post to investigate that something, you will be shot.
[SPEAKER_02]: We've got a good system.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is honestly what could go wrong.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, the most important act that a guards and will do is attacking the enemy head on.
[SPEAKER_02]: This is critical to our war effort.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, it may sound you will join the billions
[SPEAKER_02]: who have come before you.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's actually, that's a low number.
[SPEAKER_02]: It is way, well, it's quadrilions.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's uncool.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: It may sound like a monumental task, but don't think of it that way.
[SPEAKER_02]: You've got armor as we've discussed.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, you've got artillery.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't have armor, but mechanized combat, heavy weapons, and more.
[SPEAKER_02]: All the full mic of the Imperium is going to be brought to bear.
[SPEAKER_02]: and will then be used to bring the all of our enemies under the heel of the emperor.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, this part of the propaganda is actually pretty decently accurate though propaganda.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You are actually bringing wildly powerful tanks and heavy weapons.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you're not using any of them unless you get upgraded, but there are these things do exist.
[SPEAKER_02]: The most upgraded member of the burial guard is still kind of adorable compared to a custod.
[SPEAKER_01]: Everybody's a horrible compared to us.
[SPEAKER_02]: Look at their stopping go.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, that's neat.
[SPEAKER_01]: But it is nice to be one of the guys that's, you know, mortar crew in the middle of nowhere.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you mortar crew.
[SPEAKER_02]: Rhettlings actually kind of have it pretty good.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, Rhettlings unfortunately are forward to players.
[SPEAKER_01]: So like, people get real annoyed that they exist and occasionally do something about it.
[SPEAKER_02]: But they also don't have commissars.
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just saying.
[SPEAKER_02]: So the last thing you are interested always remember, as ever, as a member of the Imperial Guard, you are entrusted with the security of the guard itself.
[SPEAKER_02]: Enemies are of mankind.
[SPEAKER_02]: They are cowards.
[SPEAKER_02]: So they don't really, they're not gonna fight you and stand up fight because they could never win.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, they can never win because your weaponry technology and your tactics are so much beyond them.
[SPEAKER_02]: So they will use sub-derfuge undermines with critical that every member of the Imperial Guard keeps a close eye on their peers.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, when we say peer, we mean peer.
[SPEAKER_02]: Not superior.
[SPEAKER_02]: If we say before, we'll say it again, should you accuse a superior officer of being an enemy of mankind?
[SPEAKER_02]: You will be shot.
[SPEAKER_01]: What am I, what am I favorite?
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's multiple stories about this.
[SPEAKER_01]: There's little things in the garden.
[SPEAKER_01]: When people have been possessed and or are acting irrational.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you can't tell anything about it.
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you're a media,
[SPEAKER_01]: over you is doing something jacked.
[SPEAKER_01]: You're just like, okay, everybody has to kill him.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then we just pretend that Tim's always been Lieutenant Kim.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you just move on with life.
[SPEAKER_01]: But that happens like a lot.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's your right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the stories where they think whoever most resembles the commander.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what he knows.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're him now.
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm not.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but no one's ever seen him.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: So we're good.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like there's so many of us were faceless and innumerable.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, either all of us die or we kill him and you are now Pandor Eric.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you're sure.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks, Commander.
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't be like, but I haven't been shooting this guy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Shut up.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now the last piece that you really need to make sure you know as Imperial Garth is how to handle all the enemies of mankind.
[SPEAKER_01]: pause on this because we're about to get super psyched up.
[SPEAKER_01]: All of these things are in the primer.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is wildly the funniest thing in the primer.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's the best.
[SPEAKER_02]: So the first one we'll dive into obviously is what to do with the orcs.
[SPEAKER_02]: So while they are of significant size and stature, they are no less susceptible to a guard's men's trusty lives, right?
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, than any other being.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a reporter, remember that.
[SPEAKER_02]: They are remarkably low intelligence.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the most simple tactics will easily overwhelm the org for it.
[SPEAKER_02]: I understand that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and they'll be rated useless.
[SPEAKER_02]: Highly primitive weaponry.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're guns routinely jam and misfire.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's actually not wrong.
[SPEAKER_02]: They almost never hit their target.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also not wrong.
[SPEAKER_02]: So keep low and you'll be invincible.
[SPEAKER_01]: Unless they get there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, but it's okay.
[SPEAKER_02]: They get there because their melee weapons are in a constant state of disrepair.
[SPEAKER_02]: They'll likely break while striking your flag on them.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, the first part fairly accurate.
[SPEAKER_01]: Second part.
[SPEAKER_02]: Second part.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a wild lean.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're all that they are highly unarmored.
[SPEAKER_02]: A well placed las rifle shot.
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll actually kill ya.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I mean, actually, in the primer, it does refer to me, they'll take out the war boss.
[SPEAKER_02]: You shoot him in the face with your life's rifle.
[SPEAKER_01]: He had a member.
[SPEAKER_01]: You had to think about how many guardsmen were wildly and disbelief as their last gun hit a war boss in the face.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the war boss turned and went
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_02]: Why did you now I'm.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm going angry.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I fight a war where I like to fight opponents.
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't think you were a threat.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now I wasn't even sure you were a combat.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm definitely kidding.
[SPEAKER_02]: I thought you were watching.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's a key thing that through numerous battles, we have proven time and time and and orcs are no match for the imperial guardsmen that remembers and follows their train.
[SPEAKER_02]: Although some of you will of course, get deployed to the Eastern French, where the tyrannid threat is, and we say threat in quotes and quotations here, the tyrannid presence as a, as a, as a, I'm reading this part because this is one of my favorite parts.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is directly from the primer, and I also looked this up in two different writings.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is in like a third edition codex.
[SPEAKER_01]: Also, tyrannids are an unintelligent race for being on the stars.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're like, I mean, the opposite of that is, but Nana's true.
[SPEAKER_01]: They have a intelligence that we can't fathom, but you know, whatever.
[SPEAKER_01]: And the better part is, if they were intelligent, they would realize that their up against mankind and they would immediately leave the galaxy in search of anything else because they know they cannot win.
[SPEAKER_01]: What's wrong with this?
[SPEAKER_02]: I see.
[SPEAKER_02]: We did three casts that all back this up completely.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, number two's not wrong.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they are governed by a centralized intelligence.
[SPEAKER_02]: So when comparing a theory, it's all you have to just kill the biggest theory that you see and all the smaller ones will fall apart.
[SPEAKER_02]: Unless you shoot the non-senaps, but yeah, whatever.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's okay because they also have minimal armor protection.
[SPEAKER_02]: easily penetrated by a period.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, especially the bigger ones.
[SPEAKER_01]: Almost never.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, my favorite one in this was that the tyrannids are slow and cumbersome.
[SPEAKER_02]: And this was actually referring specifically to Gene's dealers that they were slow cumbersome and their claws were not were not were not very pretty.
[SPEAKER_01]: And they probably can't get through your flag armor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_02]: So just take your time and aim carefully.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you definitely have time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you're going to take them.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, for everybody to get over here.
[SPEAKER_02]: I should be a close to you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Look to your commissar for inspiration.
[SPEAKER_01]: To be fair again.
[SPEAKER_01]: We give the commissar a shit, but some of the best most badass people in the Imperium are commissars, because apparently every commissar is bonkersville, not.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're all special forces.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's actually the truth.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm coming next to us, but all commissars are formals for Earth.
[SPEAKER_01]: because like those dudes while they're really ready to shoot people to try to run away.
[SPEAKER_01]: Also, when shit goes down, those dudes are like, same shit, different days.
[SPEAKER_02]: A commissar will have a high time and breaches the lines.
[SPEAKER_02]: You can expect the commissar to walk up that high time and holding a sword and a pistol and say, bring it, bitch.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, that is, he is one commissar.
[SPEAKER_01]: Negative, that's a lie.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's kind of just came.
[SPEAKER_01]: He did.
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's fine.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll be candid as someone who wants a guard army.
[SPEAKER_02]: I wish commissars were more badass than combat than they are.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's actually next kind of annoying.
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel like.
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, guard.
[SPEAKER_01]: You could name them all to have a scan.
[SPEAKER_01]: Also if you have read his novels there.
[SPEAKER_02]: The most land should ever.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now the next one we're going to cover.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, spoiler alert here.
[SPEAKER_02]: Imperial uplifting primer was written before tower in the game.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was thinking I was going to miss enough.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that I literally went.
[SPEAKER_01]: When I first looked at these notes, I went to how?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, towered in there towered in there in in John went.
[SPEAKER_01]: They aren't.
[SPEAKER_02]: They are now.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because if you think I'm going to skip this opportunity, you're out of your mind.
[SPEAKER_02]: Anyway, Tao are in a furious race who are trying to undermine the Emperor by sewing seeds of doubt.
[SPEAKER_02]: So, most importantly, beware of their lies of peace and community.
[SPEAKER_02]: They have no understanding of the power of the Imperium and just don't in his greatness.
[SPEAKER_01]: The power of the Emperor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, any of hero guards have been found in possession of towel literature will be shot.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now the good news is, and this is edge of adventure, they are the easiest to kill.
[SPEAKER_02]: Of them all the day of species.
[SPEAKER_02]: They are smaller and weaker.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they're not in their suits.
[SPEAKER_01]: The suits are significant.
[SPEAKER_02]: Pop, pop, pop those suits are slung in there.
[SPEAKER_02]: a smaller and weaker with inferior weaponry and tactics.
[SPEAKER_02]: The town, a town's poses no threat to a properly trained guardsman.
[SPEAKER_02]: Their large armor characters are full of weaknesses that can be exploited and are very slow moving.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you're not wrong that if a guardsman fought a town in Queen's very rules, fist-to-cuffs.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, the guardsman would beat the crap out of them.
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's okay, but honestly, those battleships are full of exploitable holes.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just nothing.
[SPEAKER_02]: There's nothing that there's always like flaws in the armor.
[SPEAKER_01]: Just imagining how many meals a rip-tight can eat, sitting behind the guard line.
[SPEAKER_01]: If there wasn't any heavy tax.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, you're still shooting at me?
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I was I'm still eating, guys.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll be be with you a little bit.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna kill all of you in two minutes.
[SPEAKER_02]: This soup's gonna get cold.
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't feel like you get cold.
[SPEAKER_02]: This isn't an issue.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I spent a lot on, you know, grab a hop to deliver to this war zone.
[SPEAKER_02]: So now you may occasionally find yourselves against the hell.
[SPEAKER_01]: This is my favorite.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm such an elder homeer that the first line pisses me off so much, which one that while they're, while they're most similar to humans, they are a poor copy at best.
[SPEAKER_02]: Eldar have basically ninja reflexes and movement and intelligence compared to the the primer is clear they are weaker and less intelligent than even the most basic imperial citizen
[SPEAKER_01]: the immortal guy that is just a quote, the inquisitors disturbing to watch move because they're so fast and precise in their movements.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's got some inquisitors or bitches.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because elders are nothing more than space pirates clearly.
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, that's what they are.
[SPEAKER_02]: They are nothing more than space pirates.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's why they raid the week.
[SPEAKER_02]: And then they retreat at the first sign of resistance.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you know what, that is not wrong.
[SPEAKER_02]: You need to be, and as a guard, you should be aware of their attempts to use stealth and surprise.
[SPEAKER_02]: So you're better off using your superior stealth and tactics to trap and kill them before they could cowardly run away.
[SPEAKER_02]: I love that they're facing in and out of reality and using the web way to jump in and out.
[SPEAKER_02]: The other, actually, Brenna both out our players.
[SPEAKER_02]: The other topped here line at the prime level.
[SPEAKER_02]: So got it.
[SPEAKER_02]: In battle, Eldar used highly antiquated technology.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, as far as how old it is.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also not wrong.
[SPEAKER_02]: Antique technology.
[SPEAKER_02]: Antiquated.
[SPEAKER_02]: I would not.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: The word I would use.
[SPEAKER_01]: It is still light years ahead of our technology, but it is really old.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Because they are fast, because they are fast, they are lightly armored, and they can easily be brought down by the superior firepower of the guard.
[SPEAKER_02]: Also, their soldiers are this way.
[SPEAKER_02]: Their frail, their thin, allows rifle can, you know, or just the butt of your rifle can remove any of them, including a striking scorpion.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, if you're fighting Guardians though, I'll give you that.
[SPEAKER_02]: Fighting Guardians for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you were also fighting like the guys that were making cookies before a sale.
[SPEAKER_02]: I was a baker.
[SPEAKER_02]: What am I doing now?
[SPEAKER_02]: You're shooting them.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right.
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm still better at this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I've still been alive for five hundred years.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now you do want to be one issue with the elders.
[SPEAKER_02]: You'd be the aware of their cycles.
[SPEAKER_02]: Unfortunately.
[SPEAKER_02]: These filthy zenos have employed psychers in their forces, and unlike unregulated psychers, these are to be killed with immediate prejudice.
[SPEAKER_02]: Much of a mention is what if their teeth spread to the other L-D-R, or maybe another race?
[SPEAKER_02]: So at the first side of an L-D-R cycle, you need to eliminate them.
[SPEAKER_02]: On that note, the greatest threat to mankind is, of course, corruption.
[SPEAKER_01]: But the best part about that is, remember, the Imperium doesn't let people know that Cass exists.
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, David, actually.
[SPEAKER_02]: But that varies by code.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_02]: A little, that's what I'm saying.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what we're saying.
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, third, fifth edition code X. Yeah, they did.
[SPEAKER_02]: Seven to eight, ninth, tenth, it went away.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: So like, you may or may not know that Cass exists, but you do know that some people are filthy, non-emper worshippers.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's basically the same thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's true.
[SPEAKER_02]: It does refer to this in the primaries, that these traders, while they look like men, they'll admit that your fellow citizens, they cannot be saved.
[SPEAKER_02]: And even if they could be saved, they'll never, still kill all of them.
[SPEAKER_02]: They will be purged from the galaxy to make room for those who do love the emperor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, while some of them may appear mutated, remember, they are no real threat to you.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just recite the libation to the emperor while fighting them, and the emperor's light will just remove them from your.
[SPEAKER_01]: One of my favorites, anybody that plays the game?
[SPEAKER_01]: Sorry, I want to go to the game.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because when I read the notes for this and all I thought of this is a cursive cultist,
[SPEAKER_01]: running out with their advance and charge plus one to hit plus one to we would hit a unit of guardsman and you just going I'll just recite my prayer and one of the good guys just rip you in.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, just like when I'm reciting the curtain.
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I don't.
[SPEAKER_02]: They're using you to shit other guardsmen.
[SPEAKER_02]: So after you defeat all of these enemies, easily, a couple of key things.
[SPEAKER_02]: Do not look up on the tokens that are left behind by the Thal trainers.
[SPEAKER_02]: That is for your commasars and priests to handle.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, this goes, we didn't really cover this.
[SPEAKER_01]: One of the biggest things about this is, don't touch, don't look at corrupted items, xenos items.
[SPEAKER_01]: Basically, anything that's not your last gun,
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, let's make it easier.
[SPEAKER_02]: You finish the battle.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't touch anything.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, just simple thing.
[SPEAKER_02]: Pretty much.
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go away.
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't touch anything.
[SPEAKER_02]: Your commissars, your priests, and other retunes to your military army may be there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Side note, ratlings, loop battle fields.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll cover the class tonight that they're actually kind of hilarious in that regard.
[SPEAKER_02]: So congratulations.
[SPEAKER_02]: You are a member of the Imperial Guard.
[SPEAKER_02]: You now have everything you need to know to stand and fight for the Emperor.
[SPEAKER_02]: Your duty in effort will be what drives you made of victory in the galaxy.
[SPEAKER_02]: Very simple, but to follow up the full cast, what do you have to do?
[SPEAKER_01]: Keep faith in the effort, and praise him.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, they, the commands are your superiors.
[SPEAKER_01]: Remember your training, which occasionally is nothing because sometimes they round up everybody and put them in front of the rest of the big tanks.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, it's still a bit training on the way there.
[SPEAKER_02]: And I mean, kind of that way trigger here.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's a, there's a reason that we used to have fifty man concepts, but we did.
[SPEAKER_02]: They also used to have, um, people, colony, conscripts, which actually, yeah, cool.
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, when you round up guys to sit in front of stuff, you know, hey, we're going to fight here and it's what do we need?
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, we just put like bodies in front of a little take like a wild and murder all of them and we'll shoot them.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they're doing that.
[SPEAKER_02]: We'll cover it more and later cast, but the guard are probably one of the armies that my mind have.
[SPEAKER_02]: their earlier codexes are just so much better than the current blockers, but not and I'm assuming like a war rules.
[SPEAKER_02]: Now the sense of like, oh, the this tank was better performing there.
[SPEAKER_02]: Just the army was not on here.
[SPEAKER_02]: They were also had
[SPEAKER_01]: One of the things we'll cover in the next is one of my favorites.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I want to ask everybody to throw this in the discord.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you've played, if you've read the lore and stuff, for instance, one of my favorites is the fact that guard just had multiple factions in detachment.
[SPEAKER_01]: They were detachment some time.
[SPEAKER_01]: Regiment.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: They could just fire in a combat because they did not care about you at all.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, you're so Hillary.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: The rest of the game said if
[SPEAKER_01]: I grabbed John, no one can shoot at me because I'm in combat with John's platoon.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: These guys just went.
[SPEAKER_02]: Didn't feel that way.
[SPEAKER_01]: It was the chorus ones are all the chorus ones.
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, it wasn't more than sort of always worse.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they just, they went, yeah, good to hear man.
[SPEAKER_01]: They, it'll be easy.
[SPEAKER_01]: They're all grouped up fighting.
[SPEAKER_02]: I know where the enemy is.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, they're right over there.
[SPEAKER_02]: The next to your friends.
[SPEAKER_02]: But where's the enemy?
[SPEAKER_02]: Cool.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's back with blues templates.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they're like, they're so close together now.
[SPEAKER_01]: We can get so many more per shell.
[SPEAKER_02]: We should do a cast of blast templates and help.
[SPEAKER_02]: They actually were awesome.
[SPEAKER_02]: A lot of yelling, but they were hilarious.
[SPEAKER_02]: TV die.
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, well, with that, let's conclude this episode of the Forty Cave Lordcast.
[SPEAKER_02]: We hope you guys enjoy this little foray into the Bureau Guard recruitment.
[SPEAKER_02]: Next week, we're going to start a two-part dive into actual guard lore.
[SPEAKER_02]: This part, actually, this is more guard lore than that lore, but whatever.
[SPEAKER_02]: But we're going to focus on what the guard are, how they function, and then we'll get an eventually different regiments within.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to leave out and saying this now with a few further guests.
[SPEAKER_02]: We're going to leave out the character stories because... Huh?
[SPEAKER_01]: What's that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, sorry.
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't hear the voice coming from nowhere.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, but it was probably nothing.
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a piece of website.
[SPEAKER_02]: We will have to do a cast for maybe two just on God's ghosts.
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, that's it.
[SPEAKER_02]: That's it.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you think I'm not going to bring up Kifus Kane as much as I humanly possible.
[SPEAKER_02]: And the greatest, the reason why we're not going to cover them is, I'll see the greatest stories I think in Forty Kay are fall between inquisition and the appeal.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, here, I'm going to either make people super excited to test them off.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to end this cast with solar marcarious is wildly better than solar lianitis.
[SPEAKER_02]: You're wrong if you disagree with that.
[SPEAKER_02]: But like no anyway.
[SPEAKER_02]: So with that, this is John Barsati and Brad Jasper.
[SPEAKER_02]: See you guys next week.