Bored in the Bedroom? The Fantasy Box Gets You Back in the Mood

[SPEAKER_01]: Today, on misunderstood with Rachel, you could tell.
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought you had an extensive background working in all the different taboo brands.
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it true you worked under Larry Flint?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so I actually started my career with Hustler and with Mr. Flint.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they were opening up one of their Hustler Hollywood stores.
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's get into the fantasy box.
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you explain what that is?
[SPEAKER_00]: The fantasy box is a collection of what we call date night boxes.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they are curated around various fantasies.
[SPEAKER_00]: What are your thoughts on how important it is to make time for intimacy?
[SPEAKER_00]: I think intimacy needs to be viewed as important and valued it to be as important as your health and your wellness.
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you think is the most minute-understood thing about what you do?
[SPEAKER_00]: Most people think that anyone who's sort of in this base is obsessed with sex.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would definitely say that that is not true.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, come back to misunderstood guys.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host Rachel.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can tell I'm really excited about today's episode, and I hope you are too.
[SPEAKER_01]: When we talk about relationships, we talk about love, commitment, loyalty, and sometimes frustration, boredom, or disconnection.
[SPEAKER_01]: But how often do we talk about play?
[SPEAKER_01]: Today's guest has spent over two decades helping people reconnect to something we are all craving intimacy, curiosity, and the confidence to say, this is what I want.
[SPEAKER_01]: Amanda Verde is the powerhouse president behind some of the boldest brands in intimacy and self-care, including the fantasy box, a direct to consumer experience that helps couples ditch the routine and rediscover real connection.
[SPEAKER_01]: But she's not just selling lingerie and blindfolds, she's marketing emotional chemistry in a world that's forgotten how to flirt, how to ask for more, and how to have fun again.
[SPEAKER_01]: before leading the fantasy box Amanda worked with brands like Hustler and Pen House redefining how sensuality could be marketed in a way that's empowering, not exploitative.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's a woman who knows how to make the taboo feel not just safe, today we go deep on how to keep the spark alive.
[SPEAKER_01]: What we're all afraid to say in long-term relationships and how to turn, I don't even know what I want anymore into a turning point.
[SPEAKER_01]: This isn't just about sex, it's about storytelling, vulnerability, and asking better questions in our relationship
[SPEAKER_01]: and in our lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, are you feeling bored in the bedroom?
[SPEAKER_01]: Get excited to listen to my conversation with Amanda Burke.
[SPEAKER_01]: Amanda, it's so fun to have you on the show today.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for joining me on this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Understood.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I am so excited to be here.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's such a roster that you've had on the show.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm excited to chat with you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I'm sure that listen, anyone, nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: But anyone would like to spice up what goes on in their own bedroom.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure no matter who you are.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I definitely wanted to have you on.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was lucky enough to have been gifted a fantasy box and I cannot wait to open it and see what's in it and I wanted to talk to you first though and know what I was getting myself into.
[SPEAKER_01]: So before we get into all that though, I want to talk about a little bit about you and your background and how you got onto into this.
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought you had an extensive background working in brands that are very popular
[SPEAKER_01]: Sort of in this, I guess you would say taboo brand, you know, all the different taboo brands.
[SPEAKER_01]: So, and is it true you worked under Larry Flint?
[SPEAKER_00]: It is, yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I actually started my career with Hustler and with Mr. Flint.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was moving to San Diego, and they were opening up one of their Hustler Hollywood stores.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you've never been to a Hustler Hollywood store, they opened their first one in nineteen ninety eight on the Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles, and it was a collaboration between Larry and his daughter Theresa Flint, and they really wanted to reimagine adult bookstores.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you'd ever been into one of those, there's dark
[SPEAKER_00]: curtains, you know, the products are behind kind of, you know, black boxes, sticky floors.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it was not somewhere you'd want to go shopping with their partner or your girlfriend or go have a good time.
[SPEAKER_00]: So they reimagined it.
[SPEAKER_00]: They reinvented it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was all bright colors.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was beautiful products.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was merchandise.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was Huster merch.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they also put in a coffee shop.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I love this idea.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was super curious about it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd worked in retail throughout high school.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, I'm going to take my retail skills to have Sir Holly with the sounds like fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: Plus they were open till two in the morning.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, I can go to college in the morning and then I can work at night.
[SPEAKER_00]: Would you get all they do when you're twenty years old?
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I got the job and I loved it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was so much fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: I loved watching people walk into the store and sort of have this experience of, oh my God, it's perfectly okay and safe to be shopping in this space for intimate products, to be having fun with my partner.
[SPEAKER_00]: The store in San Diego had three floors.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the first floor was your coffee shop and your merch.
[SPEAKER_00]: Second floor was laundry and the third floor was all the good stuff.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, so come Friday night, there'd be, you know, a lovely woman at the top of the stairs.
[SPEAKER_00]: Deborah, you gotta get up here and see what's on the third floor.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it was just, it was great.
[SPEAKER_00]: So work my way up with them, opened up several more stores and then went over to Penn House.
[SPEAKER_00]: Penn House was reimagining their entire licensing program and really how the brand was represented.
[SPEAKER_00]: Bob Gucci only left a tremendous
[SPEAKER_00]: legacy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so whenever they're reimagined it, then went on with a with a company that was really in charge of had the leading cam model site.
[SPEAKER_00]: So before only fans, it was the top.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was actually had an Alexa ranking of twenty fifth.
[SPEAKER_00]: out of every single website in the world, which is wild.
[SPEAKER_00]: So my career has really been about taking vice taboo controversial topics and helping ship the perception, sign smart brand collaborations and make it palpable for mainstream.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm really interested how you got into that, they're like, what made you want to make the taboo approachable?
[SPEAKER_01]: Was there something in your personal life that you felt like it was taboo when you wanted to get over that or the opposite?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it was pure curiosity.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll be honest.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was really just fascinated by sort of what was happening within those stores.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I was able to take the marketing challenge of it, which is I think what I really enjoyed because it wasn't like we were selling another t-shirt or, you know,
[SPEAKER_00]: Another lip gloss.
[SPEAKER_00]: We were really having to reimagine what people had a lot of judgment around, a lot of fear around.
[SPEAKER_00]: And for people a lot of shame around.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we are, you know, as humans were heard wired for procreation.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're hardwired for connection, intimate connection.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, it wasn't necessarily just to drive that.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was really the challenge of how do I retell this story?
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I help people have an aha moment?
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I make something, you know, like this fun?
[SPEAKER_00]: The Husser Hollywood story had a great sign when you walked in.
[SPEAKER_00]: It said, relax, it's just sex.
[SPEAKER_00]: And you could literally see people shoulders drop and they were like, okay, cool, let's go in there and have some fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Did you ever like run into your parents' friends or anything?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank goodness.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I do remember when they came to visit the first time.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that was very funny.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, it's just a laundry store.
[SPEAKER_00]: I promise.
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like it's been a lot of really, I've never had a boring day.
[SPEAKER_00]: I actually took a lot of this over to the cannabis industry.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was CMO for a tech startup and they were little filters.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you would take a hit from a bond and you would exhale into this filter and it would take away all the smoke and smell.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so the way I positioned it was not just get away with smoking weed, which would have been really easy.
[SPEAKER_00]: It was more about playing up the air around you while you're doing something that you enjoy.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's those marketing challenges.
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess I'm a massacist because it is hard, but that I find really intriguing and finding creative ways to retail the story.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, and take the stigma away.
[SPEAKER_01]: So people realize it's not something like you said they have to be shameful about.
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think, really empowering to be honest.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you also sound like a really fun person because you're involved in all these things.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think they're thinking and got all the good stuff.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: I was sitting there thinking people that are driving their car listening to this episode would be like, I really want to be friends with this girl.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, so let's get into the fantasy box.
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you explain what that is and what its mission has?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, definitely.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the fantasy box is a collection of what we call date night boxes and they are curated around various fantasies.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we have fantasies that I guess you would kind of call them more traditional ones.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the French made the naughty nurse, you get the wig, it's the full on fantasy.
[SPEAKER_00]: But then we also have fantasies that are geared towards more play.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have date night poker, which is a strip poker.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we give you everything you need in these boxes or a night of fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're incredibly layered.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we start off with the sexy survey.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what's really fun about this is what we find is a lot of couples have never really communicated about what they want in their intimate relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: They just kind of default turned to what they're used to or what they've always done.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so what this does is allow couples to talk about it, you know, how often do you like to help sex?
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, how do you prefer to initiate it?
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you filled this up first.
[SPEAKER_01]: And then you come and just so I know because this is the one part that I did open and we looked at it.
[SPEAKER_01]: We were like, oh wait, we have to actually like spend some time doing this isn't something we can be like, oh, hey, let's just open the box and like see what's in it and like figure out what we want to use.
[SPEAKER_01]: We were like, this is a real thing that we have to spend some time on.
[SPEAKER_01]: So we put it back in the box.
[SPEAKER_01]: We're like, yeah, you know,
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to figure this out later.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I thought that was really interesting that that is the way that you have people stop and really take a moment to look within and write something down and then have a meaningful conversation.
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you're right.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I'm engaged.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't think I've ever had a conversation either.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and we, you know, it is, it's very intentional because just that level of communication and just talking about it can actually unlock other conversations.
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you aren't taking the time to do that, it helps to set those boundaries, it helps to understand what your partner wants to explore, which makes then carrying out the fantasy that much more fun and, you know, less,
[SPEAKER_00]: No stress, essentially.
[SPEAKER_01]: Now I want to get into what is in the boxes and why you've picked it, but first I'm just curious was there like statistics that you guys were looking at or some sort of science about the fact that people were not knowing what to do and the bedroom or getting bored or even if they were fine that other things could spice it up.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like where do you guys come up with this idea?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so it was actually started by a woman named Maria.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we took it on a couple years ago from her.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it was really sort of her brain child.
[SPEAKER_00]: What we did was take it on and streamline it, bring in the products that we felt were of utmost quality, add in some different fantasies that we felt were very topical.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's one of the things that's very interesting about the
[SPEAKER_00]: word fantasy itself, like it could almost have a little bit of a trigger effect or like, oh wait, I'm not going to tell you, you know, that I'm into a fantasy or it gets confused with fetish.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so taking that concept and modernizing it and adding in some of these things.
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the things I really love about the product is it feel like it appeals to both how men and women are hardwired.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have the sexy survey that's something to get some mental stimulation going.
[SPEAKER_00]: Probably appeals to the female a little bit more just that communication piece talking out her desires sharing.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have in here the whole welcome kit so you actually set the date.
[SPEAKER_00]: you plan when you're gonna do it, you read the instructions and then each person gets the role play card.
[SPEAKER_00]: So again, that like four thoughts that's going into it, you're planning something, you're thinking about it, what am I gonna wear, you know, how am I gonna do my makeup, where's this gonna take place?
[SPEAKER_00]: All of that is playing into the anticipation of then the fantasy, which is like just as thought sometimes is the fantasy itself.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: So how often are you guys coming up with new ones and new ideas?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're trying to come up with something, um, just leave out once a quarter.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, so right now, we just expanded on our bridal boxes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, so they're beautiful white boxes, but a ring on it for engagement, wedding night, honeymoon, perfect milestone item already gift, you know, package, great for gifts.
[SPEAKER_00]: We also just did something, you know, we're trying to meet couples at every stage in their relationship.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we know, life is busy, things happen, people are distracted.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so sometimes there's going to be time for a full fantasy box.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then sometimes there might be just a night, you know, grandma took the kids, let's go.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we came up with Friday night fantasies.
[SPEAKER_00]: And those are digital downloads.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they're super easy.
[SPEAKER_00]: You have your own props at home.
[SPEAKER_00]: And they just lead a really fun conversation, a little bit of role play for a night of fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: And the next one that's coming out for that one is bring your book boyfriend to life.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you know, book talk is very exciting.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love these kind of like fun fantasy books.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're going to help
[SPEAKER_00]: couples bring that favorite little fantasy book to life with one of these.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're trying to stay culturally relevant on trend with what today's fantasy is, which I think is really important, but also celebrating some of the traditional ones that we know people love amazing.
[SPEAKER_01]: So can you take us through an example of when somebody opens the box what they will see?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, definitely.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the first thing you're going to see is an open me first on below.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we really want to guide you through this entire experience.
[SPEAKER_00]: The other thing that's really hard is people don't always maybe they want to plan a date night.
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't have the time or the energy.
[SPEAKER_00]: This comes with everything you would literally walk you through it.
[SPEAKER_00]: No peeking permission for pleasure.
[SPEAKER_00]: Having been in the space for a long time, permission is a big thing, so making sure that everybody's willing both sides are ready to explore.
[SPEAKER_00]: Set the date, what you're doing this one is actually the date night poker, time to play, and then you each get a roll.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the dealer and then the player, and you can go off into your separate spaces, decide on the date, and then you both come prepared to
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of its role play, some of it's just really fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the dealer's going to set up all the cards in this particular instance.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're going to make sure that they have a cocktail ready if that's something that's fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the whole scene is set.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you're going to get everything in your box and just to kind of show off this sexy, fun, beautiful box.
[SPEAKER_01]: And really is, by the way, it was an impressive thing to receive.
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, good.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, that's, you know, you can keep it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can store any products that you get with it.
[SPEAKER_00]: It looks beautiful.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you're going to get some type of lingerie in there, which is really great.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can pick your size.
[SPEAKER_00]: We are extra small all the way up to four X. And then you actually really get everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: So in this case, you get your deck of cards.
[SPEAKER_00]: There are candy cigarettes.
[SPEAKER_00]: There are sunglasses, there's vibe in all of them.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's typically some type of lubricant, massage oil.
[SPEAKER_00]: We really try to pack in the value with all kinds of products, sunglasses, and you lay everything out.
[SPEAKER_01]: So in each box, sorry, you interrupt you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, no.
[SPEAKER_01]: Something to wear.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's something.
[SPEAKER_01]: The prop.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's also some sort of toy, yep, like a vibrator, whatever.
[SPEAKER_01]: And sunglass, like what else do some come with wigs?
[SPEAKER_00]: Some come with wigs in there.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have do not disturb signs.
[SPEAKER_00]: This one's really fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: This has all of the bedding cards in here.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we actually also give you a cheat sheet or how to play poker.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, we really try.
[SPEAKER_00]: Because some people are like, I've no idea how to play poker.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, I totally get it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can also just play go fish.
[SPEAKER_00]: The point of this is that you just end up naked and having fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: So don't worry too much.
[SPEAKER_00]: But all of this in this particular case, you get these really cute little bedding cards.
[SPEAKER_00]: So remove a piece of clothing, tasty delight.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you take these.
[SPEAKER_00]: And what's great is you're not going to use up all the products in a single evening.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can swap roles.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can come back to just a set of cards.
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that something for men to wear to?
[SPEAKER_00]: There is it right now.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have talked about adding something for men too.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that could be something in the future.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: We'll have to think of something that when we're working on it, we'll think of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we're always open to ideas.
[SPEAKER_01]: know how do you get people that have gone from not excited about their partner because they've been with them for too long or they're just too shy in the bedroom or for religious reasons they've always thought this isn't something that they're allowed to do whatever their issue is right and how do you get them from that moment of like this is who I've become to I even want to try that step like how do you get over that intimidation
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I think it's trying to ping on a couple of different feelings they may have.
[SPEAKER_00]: So is it shame?
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it fear having them start with something easy?
[SPEAKER_00]: The other thing we have are date night boxes.
[SPEAKER_00]: They're forty nine dollars.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, they're kind of like this.
[SPEAKER_00]: They are this.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that has been the bottle and seven minutes in heaven.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, so fun, right?
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it is a game.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's the hardest part and the pressure couples put on themselves.
[SPEAKER_00]: If they're feeling in a space where they're disconnected, it's like, oh, we have to have this massive conversation about our sex life.
[SPEAKER_00]: No, you need to play.
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to have a little bit of fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to, you know, and in some cases, maybe a massive discussion is necessary.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'd say for the majority of couples that maybe feel like they're in a rut,
[SPEAKER_00]: It's communicating a little bit.
[SPEAKER_00]: It is introducing some play.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's having an experience with your partner.
[SPEAKER_00]: We like to talk about, you know, this really is an experience almost like bungee jumping on vacation snorkeling with sea turtles.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's something that you experience together which naturally creates those endorphins and creates a bond and a memory.
[SPEAKER_00]: And those memories and those bonds are building blocks and infrastructure to a relationship that feels connected.
[SPEAKER_00]: So trying to help people start small.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you just do the sexy survey at first.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you don't need to jump right in.
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you want to try a Friday night fantasy and just test the waters or maybe a date night box and just having some fun.
[SPEAKER_00]: And really, yeah, going at your pace, discussing your boundaries and just continuing to help people see the many different ways the box can be experienced.
[SPEAKER_01]: What are your thoughts on how important it is to make time for intimacy as opposed to just when you feel the chemistry with someone?
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I mean?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, no, that's a great question.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I think we're all very, I don't know, disconnected but we're busy.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we're in a, you know, a connection crisis and that a lot of times that we're with friends, family partners, we're distracted, we're on our phones.
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, I think this has been definitely discussed and talked about a lot and I think intimacy needs to be viewed as much
[SPEAKER_00]: As important and valued it to be as important as your health and your wellness and your fitness and the other things that you invest time and energy in.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, you know, making it a priority and this is hard.
[SPEAKER_00]: I definitely don't think it's easy.
[SPEAKER_00]: understand life gets in the way, which is another reason why I think that you know not to keep going back to the fancy box, but it does help.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all delivered right there.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to put too much time into it.
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to think about planning ahead for it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it is something that is a foundational piece of your health and of your relationship.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, what's interesting, too, is that you don't have to be married for fifteen years to kind of get into, and I don't even wanna say it right, because sometimes people like the sex they have, and it's simple or it's not simple, and it's exactly the way that they have it, but it all seems to be the same for them, right?
[SPEAKER_01]: And I wonder if people underestimate the, I guess the word is importance of trying new things, or curiosity, or whatever, because
[SPEAKER_01]: The other options out there are, you know, when people watch porn or cheating or like all these things that are going on that are outside of your relationship that the stimulus is totally different and secretive and exotic and exciting.
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I would think there is an important element to creating something that's new and exciting.
[SPEAKER_01]: Even if you feel like the sex you're having is fine because it's intimate and you love your partner.
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I think experiencing new things seeing your partner in a different light maybe it is just something maybe your partner wants to try something and you know introducing it through something like the fantasy box that's a beautiful presentation that might make it a little bit easier.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I agree just bringing more.
[SPEAKER_00]: play back into the bedroom, even if to your point, you do have a great connected intimate situation, even just adding to that, adding on some extra space.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that really is when we surveyed our customers, the number one thing is they just want to add a little bit of space to the bedroom.
[SPEAKER_00]: They want to have a little bit of a little bit more fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: So for people who say, I don't even know what I want anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know what my fantasy would be because again, you brought it up like fantasy can be a little either taboo or intimidating because maybe they just are like, well, I don't even know what that would be.
[SPEAKER_01]: How would you suggest they start realizing what their fantasies are?
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: So we do have a quiz on the site that kind of plays into your fantasy archetype.
[SPEAKER_00]: So do you want to be swept off your feet?
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to gaze into each other's eyes?
[SPEAKER_00]: Or do you want someone to sort of dominate you?
[SPEAKER_00]: You make decisions all day.
[SPEAKER_00]: You want to get in the bedroom and you want someone to dominate you until you want to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want something that's a little bit more of your risk stick?
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, we have fantasies that cover all of those.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's just taking the quiz first.
[SPEAKER_00]: And sort of see what happens.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can take it separately and then you could take it together, you know, fifty percent of our customers actually surprise their partner with the product, which could go either way.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you can do it, whichever way you think it's going to be the most comfortable.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I would start there and then read we try and include in there some of the roles on each of the boxes and then think about what kind of gets you excited.
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a great book out there called Tell me what you want.
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's really about fantasies are actually your awake.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not when you're dreaming.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's what you fantasize and dream about.
[SPEAKER_00]: in like little moments throughout the day, which I think is really fascinating.
[SPEAKER_00]: So think about those moments and that's kind of what the Friday night fantasies are.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the delivery guy.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's the power outage and all of a sudden you're stuck in the dark and it's, you know, hot and sticky.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's those like little moments where you're like, oh, something that kind of
[SPEAKER_00]: has a little tingle of excitement.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I would have never thought of a delivery guy is being a fantasy, but maybe for some people.
[SPEAKER_01]: That is hysterical.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my God.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: It's bringing all kinds of stories.
[SPEAKER_01]: You've got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: So because this is a show called misunderstood, I want to ask, what do you think is the most misunderstood thing about what you do?
[SPEAKER_00]: That's a great question.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I would say that most people would think that anyone who's sort of in this basis obsessed with sex or obsessed with adults or obsessed with, you know, overindulgence.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would definitely say that that is not true.
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure like with any industry, there's a portion of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think in a lot of cases, you have men and women,
[SPEAKER_00]: and others who are looking to bring very valuable products to the market to relate to an audience that they feel is underserved or to help shift a perception or to tell their story, which as we know is so powerful.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think it's always great to address that because the root and the heart of a lot of the products that are out there are really meant to service people that are
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, looking for something like this.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: And in terms of the products that you put in the boxes are these products that are your own or products that you found that you love the most.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, some of them are our own that we have private labeled.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then most of them come from vendors that we are no are tried and tested.
[SPEAKER_00]: We like their products.
[SPEAKER_00]: We know they're of high quality.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we'll also source sort of props and fun items.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have a naughty wine tasting that comes with our own fantasy box wine screw and wine glasses.
[SPEAKER_00]: So a couple different items that we've done.
[SPEAKER_01]: You guys got everything.
[SPEAKER_01]: And can people get refills on your site if they really like your products.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so we have over thirty six core fantasies, which are the fantasy boxes.
[SPEAKER_00]: We've got three date nights.
[SPEAKER_00]: So like the spend the bottle seven minutes and haven't we do have a subscription.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's twelve months.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you sign up and it is a predetermined collection of boxes that we send and it kind of starts with my first fantasy.
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you want to dip your toe into it and see what it's about.
[SPEAKER_00]: And then it sort of ramps up, but you get a little sampling of everything.
[SPEAKER_00]: Which I think is great because you can explore, oh, I maybe I never would have bought an audience box, but then I got it and, you know, I loved it.
[SPEAKER_00]: So.
[SPEAKER_01]: OK, I love it.
[SPEAKER_01]: OK, another question for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: What is one thing you used to believe about sex intimacy or relationships that you've completely changed your mind about now that you've been doing this for so long?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I started a slur when I was twenty one years old, which is pretty young to sort of be, I guess, exposed to so much out there.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I will say what it did.
[SPEAKER_00]: Was it really never
[SPEAKER_00]: The wool was never able to be pulled over my eyes.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was never able to get tricked into a situation or be told something because I knew I knew better because of what I learned and experienced.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think that was like an interesting benefit.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I would say
[SPEAKER_00]: really just understanding boundaries.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think getting to know yourself personally, what your boundaries are around intimacy is the most important place to start because then you can take it into a partnership and then you can explore further.
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you don't know what those are, then you're gonna feel a little lost and intimidated and unsure and maybe being influenced or swayed by what your partner wants to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, I think sex shouldn't be something or intimacy shouldn't be something that's sort of like fly by the seat of your pants to some extent, really get to know yourself before you move into experiences.
[SPEAKER_01]: You strike me as somebody who's more
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, self assured or you're very in touch, obviously because of all the jobs you've had with sex intimacy relationships.
[SPEAKER_01]: Has that like in terms of the people you meet as partners, the many meet, are they intimidated by that?
[SPEAKER_01]: Or does that work better for relationships because it's not so awkward?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I've been with my husband for what we've been married thirteen years.
[SPEAKER_00]: We've been together for much longer.
[SPEAKER_00]: And we were together during the days at Penn House.
[SPEAKER_00]: And he was very self assured.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was important because, you know, he was around.
[SPEAKER_00]: Pen House pets.
[SPEAKER_00]: He was around, you know, parties that were definitely, um, extravagant and not your everyday party.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, but he knew me and he knew who I was and we were connected.
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, yes, I think that's extremely important because you don't, you know, I'm sure there are instances where it can get, you can get sucked into sort of that life.
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think going back to the, the misperse, you know,
[SPEAKER_00]: the perception and the misunderstanding is that I was certainly not in it for any of that.
[SPEAKER_00]: That was, you know, a peripheral part of it.
[SPEAKER_00]: I really was in it because I love the marketing piece of the human behavior.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: So, but definitely, you know, you wanted somebody, I needed somebody that was strong and wouldn't, you know, be influenced, so to speak.
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
[SPEAKER_01]: If you could whisper one message into the ear of every couple who's lost their spark, what would you say?
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I love that.
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I want to phrase this?
[SPEAKER_00]: It's almost like not just try something, but it's like just, yeah, just try something just don't shut down.
[SPEAKER_00]: yet out, be open.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's hard, you know, it can be challenging.
[SPEAKER_00]: There can be a lot of things that build up, but just be open to trying a little bit of something.
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think you'd be surprised how one little move like that compounds into sort of cracking that door open.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and it sounds like as long as people are open to change, that could really make a huge difference in their relationship.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think so many people that you see or read about, you know, that are really shut down on their relationships, think they have to go to therapy, don't want to, and kind of live separate lives.
[SPEAKER_01]: And how great would it be if it just took a little bit of change or just putting yourself out there a little bit and seeing where it goes?
[SPEAKER_01]: Because at one point, you obviously were very intimate and close.
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think it's getting over the hump of feeling like, and you know, you've probably been through moments where you just feel like you're not attracted to this person anymore.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you're over them, they suck, they're annoying.
[SPEAKER_01]: But, and there's no connection.
[SPEAKER_01]: I should've said the word connection first.
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think that what it seems to be lacking when people are not connected is part of the intimacy.
[SPEAKER_01]: And that doesn't necessarily mean insects.
[SPEAKER_01]: It means that touching or the cuddling or if you're just watching TV and being next to them and holding hands, sometimes you completely forget to do that for a long time because you're so not connected.
[SPEAKER_01]: So just that little bit of change, like you're talking about, just that little try something, move to the next thing and can really save a relationship.
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, I think that's totally.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, definitely.
[SPEAKER_01]: What is your favorite fantasy box?
[SPEAKER_01]: If people wanted to, I mean, you said there's so many, would you say there's thirty something?
[SPEAKER_01]: Thirty six.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow.
[SPEAKER_00]: Good question.
[SPEAKER_01]: So what is your favorite one that if people don't know what to pick, they should try because it is the best stuff in it.
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I will tell you some of the favorites.
[SPEAKER_00]: So seven minutes and heaven has been really popular with our date night boxes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Really cute, really fun, easy to do.
[SPEAKER_00]: The other one is guess I would.
[SPEAKER_00]: So you hold up little paddles and you share things that you would do or not do, but it's like in a game show format.
[SPEAKER_00]: That one's really popular.
[SPEAKER_00]: The box is just packed in the brand with a great product.
[SPEAKER_00]: I think the resort rendezvous is a really fun one too for travel.
[SPEAKER_00]: The anniversary is our most popular.
[SPEAKER_00]: So milestone moments that people love to celebrate.
[SPEAKER_00]: So I love that's one of our best sellers.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you have anything for couples?
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you know like on game night?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm trying to think, I mean, we've got spend the bottle.
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if that would be right.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Light sort of fight.
[SPEAKER_01]: Who knows?
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, maybe that's a book.
[SPEAKER_01]: You should think of a game night one.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, yes.
[SPEAKER_01]: No, that would be to do the paddles with that where people can answer questions or something.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yep.
[SPEAKER_01]: Like the newlywed game similar.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the bridal boxes in the putover ring on it.
[SPEAKER_00]: We have the ideas for the for the fiancee's for the Mr. and Mrs. So they kind of do their own little naughty ideas.
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's really cute.
[SPEAKER_00]: How well do you know your partner?
[SPEAKER_00]: There's some card games in there.
[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, I love the game night idea.
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, where can people find the fantasy box?
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll learn more about your work.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the fantasy box.com.
[SPEAKER_00]: We're also across all the socials at the fantasy box.
[SPEAKER_00]: So check it out.
[SPEAKER_00]: You can watch some of the videos.
[SPEAKER_00]: See some of the unboxings.
[SPEAKER_00]: Take the quives and see what the right fantasy is for you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Amazing.
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, thank you so much.
[SPEAKER_01]: I will be in touch with you and let you know what we think and if we have any suggestions.
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
[SPEAKER_01]: You know that.
[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
[SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate you.
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, wait.
[SPEAKER_01]: And before we go, we have to tell if people are only listening and not watching.
[SPEAKER_01]: She's sitting in front of a huge, you know, background of all sorts of products.
[SPEAKER_01]: And you were telling me about something that sounds amazing.
[SPEAKER_01]: Please tell everybody what they can get from you from your parent company, I guess.
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes.
[SPEAKER_00]: So one of the other brands is a shave cream called Coochi C-O-O-C-H-Y.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's been around since the eighties, the founder of the company saw that women were not being served right once they started to shape.
[SPEAKER_00]: So the seventies were sort of like,
[SPEAKER_00]: Free Bush era and then off the sense women started getting into personal grooming particularly for their bikini line and there was nothing out there.
[SPEAKER_00]: So he launched Kuchi which is great for intimate parts but also great for all over your body and it's a skin conditioner.
[SPEAKER_00]: So typically a shave cream is just a barrier.
[SPEAKER_00]: between the razor and your skin.
[SPEAKER_00]: Whereas this actually soaks into the hair makes it soft.
[SPEAKER_00]: So then when you run the razor, there's zero friction and it conditions your skin.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's great.
[SPEAKER_00]: I was saying, you know, men that shave their heads.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's perfect for that.
[SPEAKER_00]: It's great for all over your body.
[SPEAKER_00]: Smells amazing.
[SPEAKER_00]: You'll be hooked.
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's available on Amazon.
[SPEAKER_01]: On Amazon, terrific.
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that'll be a fun purchase.
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a great gift, stocking, stuffer when it comes time for Christmas sounds like I know what I'll be getting.
[SPEAKER_01]: My boat all the time on today.
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, I mean, the thank you so much.
[SPEAKER_01]: I really appreciate you.
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for your time.
[SPEAKER_00]: That was fun.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for listening to Ms.
[SPEAKER_01]: Understood.
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your host Rachel, you could tell.
[SPEAKER_01]: Please be sure to subscribe to the show and give us a five-star rating and review.
[SPEAKER_01]: You can support the show by joining our Patreon at patreon.com slash Ms.
[SPEAKER_01]: Understood with Rachel, you could tell.
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you have ideas for the show or want to reach out email us at info, Ms.
[SPEAKER_01]: Understood podcast at gmail.com that's spelled MISS.
[SPEAKER_01]: Understood.
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much and I'll see you next time.