Heavyweight Short: Cody

So kayleie, Yeah, we have a heavyweight short for the 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:09.960 people this week, a short that you produced. How do 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:12.400 I best describe what a heavyweight short is? 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:16.200 I think you should just do like a heavyweight short, 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:19.319 you say all the things you love about heavyweight, but 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:23.000 just in a shorter, more digestible format for this fast 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:23.760 paced world. 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:31.800 Guess what what you just introduced our heavyweight short. 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:33.440 Oh? 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:48.760 Okay, Today's heavyweight short Cody. Right after the break, Cody 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:52.960 describes his mom, Paula as Cudley. Some of his earliest 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:56.080 memories are of the two of them just snuggling, just. 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:58.760 Like her laying on the couch and me being small 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:01.440 enough at the time where she had her like her 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:05.280 legs crolled, you know, and you could almost hide behind 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:06.960 her legs in the couch and make a little ford. 0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:11.120 Paula provided Cody with comfort even when she wasn't around. 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:14.240 When he was five, she sewed him a blanket stitched 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:17.800 with cartoon bunnies, which Cody took everywhere, and when he 0:01:17.840 --> 0:01:20.759 grew too old for carrying around a blanket, he still 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:24.560 slept with it at night. In the summer before Cody's 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:28.360 freshman year, Paula went in for knee surgery. She suffered 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:31.240 from arthritis, and over the years the pain had only 0:01:31.319 --> 0:01:35.399 grown worse. Cody's understanding was that the operation was all 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:39.360 very routine, but on the morning of the surgery, Cody 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:42.520 remembers being asleep under the bunny blanket when he was 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:45.360 awoken by his sister. We need to go to the 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:49.680 hospital right away, she said. It seems that post surgery, 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:53.000 a blood clot had moved up to Paula's lung. While 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:56.120 walking down the hospital hallway, she suddenly collapsed. 0:01:57.760 --> 0:02:01.240 We drove to the hospital and you know, like when 0:02:04.920 --> 0:02:06.160 we were able to just walk in the room and 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.560 my sister and you could just tell from just how 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:14.880 everybody was positioned, just she's dead. And then I just 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:20.240 sat down next to my grandpa. I don't think it 0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:25.280 fully hit me. I just remember just just staring and 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:27.400 just sitting and not knowing what to feel. 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:31.280 Her death was so sudden that nobody in the family 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:34.799 knew what to feel. At the funeral home, Cody placed 0:02:34.800 --> 0:02:44.440 the bunny blanket in Paula's coffin. The person who had 0:02:44.440 --> 0:02:46.520 always been there to hold Cody and provide him with 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:49.840 solace during hard times was the person who is now gone. 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:53.880 As for the rest of the family, rather than joining together, 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:57.600 they withdrew from one another. His two older sisters and 0:02:57.639 --> 0:03:00.239 his brothers spent most of their time alone in their rooms, 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:03.840 and their father, who'd been in poor health for years, 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:06.799 no longer had Paula to look after him. He had 0:03:06.800 --> 0:03:10.000 to be moved into a nursing home. The family was 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:11.160 falling apart. 0:03:11.400 --> 0:03:14.080 My mom was the glue. It's like when she died, 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:16.280 it just we always just kind of drifted in our 0:03:16.280 --> 0:03:20.200 own directions. Yeah, we just didn't know how to talk 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:23.520 to each other. So I kind of just receded into 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:26.000 my own little my own little room, and did my own, 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:32.360 my own thing. Just wanted to just be left alone. 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:35.320 Paula was buried in the cemetery across the street from 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:38.560 Cody's house. The grave became the place where Cody went 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:42.160 when he needed to unburden himself. Saying things in his 0:03:42.240 --> 0:03:45.120 head wasn't as good as talking out loud, but talking 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:47.280 out loud in his bedroom and the rest of the 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:51.240 family could hear, so he'd walk across the street and 0:03:51.320 --> 0:04:00.840 talk to a tombstone. Although still in a state of grief, 0:04:01.120 --> 0:04:04.160 Cody tried to return to normal life. This meant pre 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:08.320 season football practice, running drills, doing laps, and lifting weights. 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:11.400 It was while training in the high school's Dingy weight 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:14.960 room one day that his new coach, Coach Walling, has 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:18.320 to see him. Coach Walling was like a coach out 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:22.400 of Central Casting, tall and athletic. He always wore shorts, 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:25.240 even in the dead of winter. It was Cody's first 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:27.840 year on the team and he hadn't interacted with Coach 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:30.599 Walling much at all, so when he asked Cody to 0:04:30.600 --> 0:04:33.520 step out into the hall, Cody's first thought was that 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:34.720 he was somehow in trouble. 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:39.080 And I remember walking out and I don't know if 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.520 he had said anything or there was a lead in. 0:04:42.400 --> 0:04:45.520 I don't think there was. But the thing that I 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:51.640 remember was just him reaching out and just hugging me 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:56.919 so just so tightly. You know how when you go 0:04:56.920 --> 0:04:58.400 for a hug you can do the up dat like 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:01.520 one arm up, one lower. I didn't have that chance, 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:04.680 like he just hugged me. 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:13.520 Since his mother's death, no one had done just that. 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:17.520 Cody's family and friends weren't really the hugging type. There 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:20.599 might have been a couple of polite hugs, some perfunctory hugs, 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:25.120 but Coach Walling, basically a stranger, was hugging Cody with 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:26.400 what felt like all his heart. 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:33.279 He held me for a few moments. I remember it 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:38.359 so strongly. I get kind of teary eyed just thinking 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:40.760 about it, just because it was just something I just 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:45.880 I really needed without knowing it, and I just it 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:51.000 was just something that I needed. It felt caring. 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:55.080 Shortly after the day of the hug, Coach Walling took 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:58.159 a job at another school and Cody never saw him again, 0:05:58.920 --> 0:06:02.360 but the moment remained with Cody. From then on, Cody 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:05.520 started hugging all the time. He became the guy who'd 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:07.520 hugs friends when they were having a bad day. 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:10.839 And like even now with my wife, I just want 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:14.120 hugs more than anything from her. Like I came home, 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:15.640 I want to hug before I go to bed, I 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:18.400 want to hug. And she didn't understand it, and so 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:21.159 actually I had told her this story, and she's like, 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:24.159 that makes sense. Why you want to hug all the time, 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:29.640 Like there's a you know, there's always a few things 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:31.320 you always remember in your life. You know, your your 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:35.800 your kid being born, your marriage, and then for me, 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:40.720 it's that hug. He's going to be included Holy how God. 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:42.960 I wish I could find him and just thank him, 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:47.000 let him know that it mattered. 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:55.279 After doing some digging, I found out that coach Walling 0:06:55.480 --> 0:06:59.120 is John Walling. He recently retired after thirty six years 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:01.960 of coaching. I tell Cody I was able to track 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:08.000 him down. Oh okay, I have his phone number and 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:10.680 we can give him a call right now. 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:25.080 Would it be okay if we rescheduled for that. I 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:27.400 actually have to be in bed and a half hour 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:28.720 so I can make my time tomorrow. 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:32.240 Cody's a truck driver and a shift begins at two 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:35.280 thirty am. I understand why he would want to call 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:38.480 it a night, but as we continue to talk, it 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:40.000 feels like something else is at play. 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:44.680 No, im not like I do, I really do, but no, 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:51.640 that's amazing, Like I'm that give me just one second. 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:53.240 Okay, yeah, of course, of course, take what you need? 0:07:53.280 --> 0:08:15.680 Thank you? H Okay, yeah, I don't I don't know it, 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:22.720 Like what do you say? I don't know. It's just 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:26.160 I'm really nervous now, but but yeah, we can. We 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:26.640 can do it. 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:33.040 You want to do it? Yeah, okay, let's do it. 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:35.160 It's uh, it's John. Right before I don't. 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:44.400 Yeah, it's it's yeah, it's John. It's John Walling. Yeah. 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:46.280 I guess I'll say hi first. 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:49.880 Okay, Hello, this is John. 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:53.160 Hi John, This is Jonathan Goldstein. 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:54.800 Oh, Hello, how are you. 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:57.840 I'd let John know I'd be phoning with a student 0:08:57.880 --> 0:09:00.719 of his name, Cody from sixteen years ago. Oh, but 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:04.040 hadn't said much more than that. I have someone here 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:06.560 who is wanting to talk to you. 0:09:07.040 --> 0:09:12.400 Hi, Hi, John, Hey, what's going on? Hey? Been been 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:19.560 a crazy life. Have a little farm that we live on. 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:22.080 We're up in Marshalltown. 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:26.199 My dad lived in Marshalltown. His claim to fame is 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:29.440 that he was the longest baby born in Marshalltown. 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:38.240 With the pleasantries and the my dad was a longer 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:41.120 baby than your dad, macho male bonding out of the way. 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:43.560 I asked John if he remembers Cody. 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:48.480 I do, I do. So. Do you remember that that 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:52.360 summer in the in the weight room, my uh my 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:58.760 mom had passed away, and I remember you reaching out 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:01.719 and just and just give me the this biggest, this 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:09.120 long heartfelt hug, and it meant It's just been following 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:12.319 me for years and years and years now, and I've 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:15.040 been wanting to thank you for it for the longest time, 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:17.600 because it just meant so much to me. 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:22.360 When two people overlap in time and space, there's never 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:25.679 any guarantee that what one person experienced as a special 0:10:25.720 --> 0:10:30.000 moment isn't for the other person just to BLib something 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:33.000 they sort of remember or want to remember out of 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:37.679 politeness or kindness. But today this isn't the case. 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:45.040 I do remember that, and I'm sorry. 0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:49.400 I remember that very, very vividly what I had lost 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:53.800 my mom in nineteen ninety seven, and so it was 0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:58.000 those emotions were still raw and real, and I'm not 0:10:58.040 --> 0:10:58.920 sure they ever heal. 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:05.719 So when coach Walling heard about the boy on the 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:09.200 football team whose mom also died, he felt compelled to 0:11:09.240 --> 0:11:12.240 say or do something. He just didn't know exactly what 0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:16.200 were you intending to hug him? Or was it something 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:19.880 that just happened. Yeah, I didn't know, not at all. 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:23.240 I mean that it kind of came out of left field. 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:28.680 I felt such a pain of losing my mama that 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:34.520 it just felt that that reaction just seemed natural as 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:35.800 a response to the pain. 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:40.240 Where were you would you describe yourself as a as 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:43.760 a hugger before that? Before that day, no no, no. 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:47.680 For Coach Walling, not only had the hug with Cody 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:50.040 been a moment, it was the moment. 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:55.040 From that moment on, it became easier and easier and 0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:57.000 more okay and more okay. 0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:00.959 For me to hug guys, and and you. 0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:04.720 Know, to show that as a raw emotion. And so Cody, 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:08.319 I I'm I'm very grateful and honored that it helped you, 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:10.600 but I wanted you to know that you helped me 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:11.120 as well. 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:14.880 John says that just like Cody, he didn't have a 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:18.160 lot of huggers in his life. His dad was definitely 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:18.800 not a hugger. 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:21.319 He was a World War two and Korea veteran. 0:12:21.720 --> 0:12:25.439 Who I mean, I saw him cry when my mama died, 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:29.040 and that was it. He was an old rugged warrior 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:32.280 that you know that wasn't yet that was not what 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:32.720 you did. 0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:37.720 Yeah, and and and and with you Like with my dad, 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:40.559 like he's in he's in a home now, I like 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:42.280 to I like to tease him a little bit. So 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.360 when I when I visit him and in the home, 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:47.680 I'll be like, all right, Dad, here's your hug, you know, 0:12:47.720 --> 0:12:50.000 and I go in. When when I first started doing it, 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:52.960 he would you know, shake his head and go no, no, no, 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:55.400 no no, and and light me pat me back. But 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:57.719 now I think I think I've whotled him down enough. 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:04.400 He's like, Okay, your your point, John, about how after 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:07.840 that you just it felt better or okay for for 0:13:07.920 --> 0:13:10.640 guys to hug, and it just it became a thing. 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:14.840 It did for me too. I think just seeing a 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:19.400 strong male figure like that, just just showing compassion, it 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.760 strayed to slowly realize to me just how much hugs 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:23.679 can mean, you know. 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:27.760 And I know, and honestly it sounds kind of silly 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:32.760 to say that until you need it, you know. I'm 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.880 I'm not ashamed to say I'm a hugger and I 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:39.040 and I feel like I feel I feel like I 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:42.600 have a fuller life because of it. I should tell 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.600 everybody I love them too, And I don't if that 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:47.840 sounds strange, fantastic. 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:51.040 John, John, I do the same thing. And I don't 0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:54.400 think that would have happened if it wasn't for you. 0:13:57.040 --> 0:13:59.440 Well, I can't thank you enough for for you know, 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.079 I'm the most blessed guy you're ever going to get 0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:06.920 on the phone. I feel so very blessed that you 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:09.880 took the time and effort to try to find me. 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:12.319 I appreciate that, and I love you. 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:13.680 I love you too, Jean. 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:25.600 Well, you know there's only one thing left to do. 0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:30.320 Oh, I don't I don't know, I don't know what. 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.520 Virtual hugs, virtual. 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:39.080 Okay, you have a good you have a good night. 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:44.320 You too, take it easy, and I guess I love you. 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:46.600 I love you too, man. 0:14:47.360 --> 0:15:04.720 Thanks John, Bye, bye bye. 0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:11.320 This Heavyweight short was produced by senior producer Khalila Holt 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:17.000 Hello and Me Jonathan Goldstein, along with Moheeney Mictgawker. Our 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:21.160 supervising producer is Stevie Lane. Production help from Damiano Marquetti. 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:24.600 Special thanks to Emily Condon, Aaron Randall, and Hannah Chan. 0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:28.360 Bobby Lord mixed the episode with original music by Christine Fellows, 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:32.040 John K. Sampson, Blue Dot Sessions, and Bobby Lord. Follow 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:35.080 us on Twitter at Heavyweight or email us at Heavyweight 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:38.080 at Gimletmedia dot com. We'll be back with a new 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:40.680 episode in two weeks.