Gerry’s ‘Happy Hour’ Return!

00:00:02
Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, welcome back to Bacher Happy Hour. I'm Joe and I'm Serena, and we are here with the Golden Bachelor himself. It's been a while, Gary Turner. Welcome the Bacher Happy Hour.

00:00:12
Speaker 2: But thank you so much for having me. This is kind of an exciting morning for me.

00:00:17
Speaker 1: Yeah. How you doing. What's new?

00:00:19
Speaker 2: I'm doing great. Life is actually pretty good. I've gotten through the doldrooms of winter. I'm starting to look out on the lake now and it looks sunny, and uh, I just count the days down now until it gets nice and warm. Yeah.

00:00:33
Speaker 1: Well are you You're in Indiana.

00:00:37
Speaker 2: Right, Northern Indiana?

00:00:39
Speaker 1: And how is it? Yeah, I'm assuming it's cold. It's cold there right now.

00:00:43
Speaker 2: It was thirty two this morning when I got up, so yeah, it's cold as heck. But you know, by the weekend it's supposed to be back in the seventies. And you know, another couple of weeks the boats will start going in the water, so it'll be.

00:00:55
Speaker 3: Good way to spring.

00:00:58
Speaker 1: Have you been Have you been getting any pickled games in, like at least indoor?

00:01:02
Speaker 2: Well? Yeah, oh yeah, I still play Monday, Wednesday, Friday about three hours each morning. I got a tournament coming up next Tuesday morning. So it's my it's kind of my barometer for health and well being and so forth. There's a level of tiredness. If I get beyond that, I start wondering what if something's wrong. And if I'm short of that, I'm wondering if I'm not working hard enough. So, you know, bat myself back and forth.

00:01:31
Speaker 3: Three hours is long. I actually don't think I can play pick a ball for three hours.

00:01:36
Speaker 1: Three hours is long. That is a long time.

00:01:39
Speaker 2: Yeah. The thing is, it's it's with the group that you guys have seen all along, the group that was at the wedding and that has been with me, So we kind of know each other's tendencies. So it makes it a little bit easier, but we still play pretty hard.

00:01:57
Speaker 1: We try to kill each other from from your now, you know, it's been it's been a year since your season. Looking back, who uh, which of the women would you consider to be a really good pickleball player? Were there any?

00:02:12
Speaker 2: Actually? You know, Ellen played pretty well, but I think Faith didn't give herself a chance. She seemed fairly athletic and well coordinated and so forth, and for the little bit she played, she looked like she enjoyed it, So, you know, that's kind of big. I think when you really like it, I think you'd get into it pretty well.

00:02:35
Speaker 1: That's good.

00:02:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, well let's get into AFR from Grant season. Because we saw that you were there at the taping. How did the night go?

00:02:44
Speaker 2: Oh? That was kind of fun, you know, most of all, it was great to be back in the environment and see all the people and shake hands and have a chat with Jesse and and you know, talk to Clayton. I hadn't really had the opportunity to talk to Clayton before that, and you know, see some of the old personnel. So I thoroughly enjoyed it. I really would have loved to have had that be a two or three day event.

00:03:13
Speaker 3: How did you feel going into the panel? Was there any thing specific that you wanted to say?

00:03:20
Speaker 2: Well, I sort of mentally we heard some of the things I wanted to say beforehand. I knew kind of what the questions were going to be, and you know, it release hits close to home for me. So I was fairly well prepared with my answer and I felt pretty good about what I said.

00:03:43
Speaker 1: What did you and Clayton chat about anything? In particular.

00:03:45
Speaker 3: Yeah, we just got him on.

00:03:46
Speaker 2: Our podcast, everything from what we like to drink, to how we're doing with our self help projects, to our own seasons, everything under the sun. Like I said, we hadn't talked before, so it was a blank slate.

00:04:04
Speaker 1: Being there and seeing Grant and you know, seeing some of the women kind of you know, lean into him a little bit. How did that make you feel? Did you feel any similarities? Did you feel like you had somewhat of a similar journey or very different?

00:04:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, a similar journey. I mean, you guys have been in the environment and you know what it does to you, and you know how all consuming it is. And you know when you're there for the one reason of finding a partner, and you're so focused and you're so devoted to that, everything else gets blocked out and you give undivided attention to each of the women that you're with at any given time. It's I could really relate to where he was at. You could see the struggle and you could see the difficulty he was having.

00:05:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely.

00:05:05
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:05:06
Speaker 3: How is it seeing Joan and Chalk? Had you had a chance to meet Shock before?

00:05:11
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, and it was pretty fun before the AFR that morning for breakfast, we were able to get together and and talk and so that was that was pretty nice. And then of course Clayton comes along, and you know, it wound up being a bigger group. And then after the AFR it was especially fun because it was Joan and Chalk and Leslie joined us, so I got to get her perspective on things, and you know what she's got going on. So I loved it.

00:05:46
Speaker 1: For someone that's been in a relationship after the show and being a lead, What would your advice be to Grant right now?

00:06:00
Speaker 2: I think, you know, so Grant's been in such a tidal wave of events and emotions and so forth. You know, you're going so fast it's like drinking out of a fire hydrant. It's time now to just slow it up and figure out how life will feel day to day, just like even try to find the most boring days and see how well you get along with your new partner. You know, try to imagine some of the small obstacles that you'll need to overcome as a couple and how you'll handle it and start to react to each other. So bottom line is take it slow.

00:06:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you mind sharing what went wrong in your relationship with Teresa.

00:06:52
Speaker 2: Well, I'm not so sure anything went wrong. I you know, we've had conversations, and I think our mutual deep devotion to our families kind of reared its head in conversations, and we started trying to realize or trying to find that common ground, the commonality of where we could share a life and where we could share a home and so forth. Then her being a brand new grandmother and me having gone through the loss of a spouse and feeling the support of my daughters, it almost created a situation where we recognized fairly quickly that we weren't going to find that spot where we could be together. And I think more than anything that was it. And I really feel like there was a mutual admiration and respect and empathy in both ways that we kind of understood the other person's situation.

00:08:00
Speaker 3: So do you think if you and Theresa had been from the same place, your families were in the same place, you would potentially still be together today.

00:08:12
Speaker 2: Okay, So that's a difficult hypothetical question based on what I know and based on the experiences that we had back then. If you eliminate that huge obstacle, I can see no red flags. I still don't see any reason why it wouldn't have worked out. But we were also so new to the relationship that we may not have uncovered that layer of the onion that could have been a problem yet. So it's hard to answer that. Really.

00:08:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, what advice would you give to people that are dating long distance?

00:08:59
Speaker 2: Well, first off, what does long distance mean? Does it mean a couple hours drive or does it mean halfway across the country.

00:09:07
Speaker 1: What do you Yeah, let's say let's say we're talking, We're talking different states.

00:09:13
Speaker 3: Across the country.

00:09:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, okay. I think the best advice is to have a conversation early on about the ability to visit back and forth. You know, can you afford to fly frequently or is it going to be the drudgery of packing and driving. You need to kind of uncover what the possible problems might be. You know, I went quite some time after Teresa and I separated, and and you know, I decided my journey's not done. I really think that, in a roundabout way, I want to prove that the Golden Bachelor show was still successful, that it taught me enough lessons to get me to the right spot so I've tried to learn from my failures, which I think you learn more from your failures than your successes, you know. And so with each dating episode I've I've tried to learn a little bit more about myself and about the things that you can overcome to get to a successful relationship.

00:10:29
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts on Golden Bachelor in Paradise.

00:10:38
Speaker 2: I'm really curious as to how it will look. I, for one, you know, I don't want to be a contestant there, you know, I feel like it's not the right spot for me. But I'm intrigued by how it's going to look. Is it going to be like two parallel parties, one in one ballroom and one and another with you know, the golden group and the younger group, and and some people out of one ballroom sneak to the other ballroom and back and forth. And I have no idea how it's going to be.

00:11:15
Speaker 3: But I am I was going to ask you, which this question now thinking about it further doesn't make sense. Is going to ask you, you know, oh, well would you go? But all of the Golden Women are off of your season because there's only the one season of the of Golden Bachelor, So you've already dated all of them.

00:11:34
Speaker 2: And not only that, but I think what I anticipate the women that are going to be there for my season. I've also developed good friendships with you know, I talked to Kathy, and I talked to Susan, and I'll talk to Faith, and I'll talk to Nancy and I'll even talk to Leslie from time to time. And so if those people are there, it's kind of like trying to cultivate a romance with a friend. You know, somebody you're friends with and somebody that you're comfortable being in that friend zone. So it just wouldn't work.

00:12:06
Speaker 1: Are you. Are you currently dating anyone now?

00:12:09
Speaker 3: Like?

00:12:09
Speaker 1: What's dating life been like since you're in Teresa's breakup?

00:12:15
Speaker 2: I I I am dating someone. I think at this point it's going well. But I don't want to say too much and jinx okay, And I'm trying to respectfully get to a point where there's an acceptable amount of time from from my divorce. Maybe that's an old fashioned thought, you know, maybe it doesn't matter as much as I think it does, but but to be respectful, I kind of want to slow roll this. And I have told Teresa that I'm dating someone, so that's it won't be a shocking news to her. But mostly following my own advice that they gave you earlier, go slow, take it easy, you know, learn this.

00:13:04
Speaker 3: Have your kids had the chance to meet this person?

00:13:09
Speaker 2: They have? And I think the the fun part there is she has daughters that I really relate to, and her daughter or her she relates well to my daughters. So we've been around each other briefly, and but there's it's been fun. It's been a very enjoyable encounter.

00:13:35
Speaker 1: Did you watch Joane season at all?

00:13:38
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:13:39
Speaker 1: Any of the guys that you saw in Jones season that you think would be good pairings with some of the women from your season?

00:13:46
Speaker 3: Yeah? Do you want to play matchmaker at all? Joan? Joan is all about it. Maybe you two could come down and set some people up.

00:13:54
Speaker 2: God bless her for that. I am I am not good at that because Number one, I think you don't see enough of a person on the show to get a really good read for what there likes and dislikes and their character and all of that. So Joan has much closer contact with those guys. I will say, I think there are some very available and attractive women form my season that I think would do great in a nice social mixer with those guys. That'd be fun to watch. And if that's part of Bachelor and.

00:14:36
Speaker 3: Paradise, Gary, do you think that we're going to see a crossover between the Golden contestants and the regular season contestants at all?

00:14:49
Speaker 2: And by crossover you mean some.

00:14:52
Speaker 3: Some friendships, maybe some sparks, maybe some connections, maybe just you know, just platonic bonds.

00:15:00
Speaker 2: Oh, certainly, I think there will be some really good friendships come out of that. Whether or not there's some genuine sparks, I'm not really sure. Because I have a lot of faith in the women that were on my show, A huge amount of faith in them. I believe in them. I think they'll be wise enough to realize that that amount of age difference could be really different or difficult.

00:15:28
Speaker 1: See, Like, I personally this is and I have no idea what it's going to look like either.

00:15:32
Speaker 3: But I don't really all curious.

00:15:34
Speaker 1: I don't really think they're going to be in the same location. Like, I don't think they're gonna be like in Like the show does such a good job of just separating guys from girls when they want to. When we're in Paradise, right, I don't think they're going to have an issue separating the Golden contestants from the regular contestant.

00:15:52
Speaker 3: You think it'll be like almost two separate villains. And then they might intermix and mingle for like cocktail hours in.

00:15:59
Speaker 1: A rosy May. They may intermix them for like like a prom night, like I'd see, I could see like they're being a.

00:16:06
Speaker 3: Few or like a if they do a game or something, yeah, like the Truth Circle.

00:16:10
Speaker 1: But like I think they're going to be living in separate quarters.

00:16:14
Speaker 3: I think I think that's a good theory. That's kind of what I envision as well, is like the Golden Bachelor in Paradise.

00:16:22
Speaker 1: The I just don't think they could risk Kevin a seventy five year old dude.

00:16:27
Speaker 2: Two year old either. But I think keeping them close and having an interwoven where they just brush together for you know, a cocktail or you know, some things like that I think adds to the intrigue and the mystique of it and and some of the uh question that would keep people coming back week the week.

00:16:53
Speaker 3: I like that too. Yeah, people are definitely curious to see if it's gonna happen. I don't think it will, but I think the intrigue of could it it we'll keep people engaged. But I think it'll end up being more of like friendly relationships. I mean, we even know, like Susan and Rachel from Joey's season have like a great friendship.

00:17:13
Speaker 1: Would you make would you? Would you make an appearance if they ask you?

00:17:17
Speaker 2: I would absolutely love to do that. I you know, in talking to one of the producers, I told him I didn't want to be a contestant, but I'd love to have a recurring role or a cameo role. I keep saying, I'll be I'll be Well's bar back. I'll clean dishes and glasses for him while he's doing the bartending. You know, I'll escort a date or a host of date or something. I think that would be great fun. I'd love they got to have you.

00:17:47
Speaker 1: They'll they got to have bring you down to like judge, like a pickle ball game or something. I get to see that. Speaking of pickleball that I just brought up, you're playing three days a week, But how is your health? Most importantly?

00:18:01
Speaker 2: Actually, you know, I appreciate your asking because I get that question a lot. I feel great, and you know, as I said, until I have any symptoms, there's no treatment, so I go frequently for blood tests. I'm on like a six month schedule now, and I'm kind of I feel optimistic because the doctor has said, well, when you turn seventy five, we're going to have to go three month increments. So it's telling me that at least he expects me to live another couple of years to get to that. But the bottom line is I feel really good.

00:18:38
Speaker 3: Is that a frustrating feeling because I'm assuming that you have to wait until it progresses to a certain point to then accept treatment. Right, do you feel like it's like this kind of waiting period or do you feel grateful for this time that, like your health is not seriously impacted and you can continue living day to day as you usually would.

00:19:01
Speaker 2: So there's good parts in there, and I'll break it down a little bit. First of all, twenty percent of the people who have Waldronstrom's syndrome Waldron's strooms, whatever the hell it is, never have treatment. They outlive it. You know, something else gets them. Second of all, and I mean this sincerely from the time I got this diagnosis. It's a privilege to live like you're dying. I don't turn down anything. I feel like I'm more open to emotions, I'm more open to experiences. The person I'm dating will say do you want to go do? And before she even gets out the rest of the sentence, I will say yes. So I'm in on everything and it makes life exciting because you kind of in the back of your head feel like you've got a lot of living to do and you don't know how long you have to do it. Don't turn down anything, and so it's in a way, it's it's really a good thing.

00:20:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's that's a good mindset. Is the person you're dating. Is she adventurous?

00:20:11
Speaker 2: She is that, Yes, she wants to go do Her life experiences have been you know, a lot of travel and so forth. So that's kind of how we're approaching.

00:20:24
Speaker 3: How are your daughters doing with the diagnosis.

00:20:28
Speaker 2: They're pretty good. It's not like it's talked about a lot. I think they understand the baseline of as long as dad says he's feeling fine and not having any of those symptoms, we're just going to go on like everything's normal.

00:20:50
Speaker 1: Can you share with us. I know you don't want to talk too much about your relationship and keep it private, but can you share with us when you knew that it is becoming more of a serious relationship, when you were gonna, like maybe essentially call each other boyfriend girlfriend, or.

00:21:08
Speaker 3: When you were like, I should maybe let Teresa know about this.

00:21:13
Speaker 2: So I I'll start with your question, Serena. I had a conversation with Joan and I think Leslie was in on it, and I asked for their advice. I said, to be respectful and to do the right thing. When should I talk to Teresa about this and let her know? And their advice was to talk to her soon. So on the car ride from the hotel to the airport after the AFR the next day, I called Teresa. We had a really nice conversation, and you know, I let her know, So you know that's that part of it. Now, Joe, for your question. I hate to tell you this, and I hate to say it because I know I'm going to get baseballs thrown at me. It was almost the first time I saw her. It was the look that she gave me. It was like, all of a sudden, I was consumed by this look and I had this actual physical feeling and I pushed it off. I go, know this, that was silly, that's ridiculous. And with every encounter that feeling has instantly come back with her look and it's like, damn, this is pretty odd.

00:22:34
Speaker 1: Did you get that at all from any of the women on your season?

00:22:38
Speaker 3: Like this partecular experience life before?

00:22:44
Speaker 2: I think the closest to that was when Faith played the guitar and sang to me on I think it was the first night she got the first impression Rose. That would be the closest to it.

00:22:58
Speaker 3: Oh, that's so romantic, Garrett. Don't think anyone's going to throw baseballs at you. I think people would love.

00:23:03
Speaker 1: To hear that.

00:23:03
Speaker 2: I don't know, probably someone the whole love at first sight thing. I've never been in on that and all of a sudden hearing, am I really feel like I'm experiencing that.

00:23:14
Speaker 3: That's amazing. Congratulations. Can we ask you how you met her? Do you want to keep that private?

00:23:21
Speaker 2: Well, I'll hold on to bed and any more details for a while long. Do you again? I'm trying to be Do.

00:23:28
Speaker 1: You know is do you know if Teresa's dating currently dating anyone?

00:23:33
Speaker 2: I don't know, but she's kind of on my list to call again here in the next couple of days. I want to get an update on on what her plans are with The Bachelor of ar.

00:23:42
Speaker 1: Okay, Sorr, are you so? Are you too? Are you too friendly? At this point? You're on good terms?

00:23:48
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think we were ever on bad terms. I think from from my side of it, my perspective, I withdrew from her. I felt like maybe I was a source of bad feelings and the negativity that came out of the show and so forth. So I kind of avoided talking to her, and not out of you know, ill will or being combat of it all, just I thought it was better if we gave each other space. Maybe I was wrong with that and now I intend to go a different direction with it.

00:24:29
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:24:29
Speaker 3: I mean, there's no perfect way to handle a breakup, and you guys were in a very unique situation.

00:24:34
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:24:34
Speaker 1: What do you expect to see from her if she does go to batch her and Paradise.

00:24:40
Speaker 2: Well, I would hope that she finds some success in finding someone. I think she might be a little bit of the same opinion that I am, that she's kind of been there done that, and that maybe her preference would be to not be involved in it, but maybe a cameo or something like that. But I can't speak for her. I really don't. Yah.

00:25:06
Speaker 3: I hope she goes. I do.

00:25:09
Speaker 1: Yeah. So what what else scary? Anything new you're working on right now?

00:25:16
Speaker 2: Uh? There's not a lot, I uh I. I really enjoyed my first ever winter being away from the Midwest. I was in Mexico for a couple of months, and that was I was in San Carlos, which is, you know, about halfway down the mainland of Mexico on the Baja. And I've got the project going with the Hearing Aid Company with Starkey's very happy to have partnered with them, and because I feel strongly about that, and I've got a book that is really close to being done. What's the what's the completing Well, it starts with the first date I had with my wife Tony and so back in nineteen sixty seven and goes forward. Most of the time. It talks about my experience. You know in the show.

00:26:19
Speaker 3: Would you describe it as a like an autobiography, It's it's.

00:26:24
Speaker 2: Much closer to an autobiography than it is a tell all for sure. I you know, I have certain things that are important to me. You know, the feeling of not being invisible as you get older, the feeling of wanting and needing to have someone in your life if if you know, if that's your preference, and and how to do those things, and how to put yourself in a positive mindset for those things, taking care of your health mentally and physically, and those things. So just a reminder to people of my age and to any age, of all the things that are important that I think are important. So that's kind of what it is.

00:27:08
Speaker 3: That's great. When can we expect it to potentially come out, Well, I think.

00:27:14
Speaker 2: It'll be within the next sixty days. You know, it should be good to go.

00:27:18
Speaker 1: Now that it's been you know, it's been a little over a year since your season, and you know, looking back on everything, now, what do you think the best thing you took away from the experience.

00:27:35
Speaker 2: Well, A couple of things come to mind. The first thing I guess I would say is that I have a much better self awareness going into the show. I had no idea I was such a criba that I that I would connect with people's feelings so deeply and so knowing that I've had to adjust my behaviors and how I approach things. So that's the first thing. The second thing is, I guess the message that I hope people would see is that if you're in your seventies you can still have a hell of a good time. You don't write yourself off because you get to whatever age. You know, it's like, okay, my first social Security check is here, I'm done for now find myself a lazy boy and I'm done. It should be just the opposite. So those are the things I guess that that first come to mind.

00:28:29
Speaker 1: Do you think do you think you did that before going Do you think you were that person before going on the show?

00:28:36
Speaker 2: I was getting close. I was kind of getting there. It's kind of you know, it just becomes so much easier to not get up off the couch and go do and be and get involved and so forth. It's just easier to kind of sit down, have your coffee and and you know, call it good and and I'm I really got revitalized through the show completely, and then I've kept that up since then.

00:29:04
Speaker 3: That's amazing. So what is next? We have the book coming out your partnership with the hearing aid company. You're dating someone, what do you see kind of if we talk to in a year, where do you see yourself being? It can be general or specific.

00:29:23
Speaker 2: If you and I talk again in a year, I think I would look back and recite all the places that I had been in this year, because not only am I personally motivated to have adventures and go travel, I think I'm going to have a partner that wants to do the same thing, and having those similar tastes will be huge. I really think in that year that I'll have some experiences related to the book where I have a tour and you know, and I have to go for signings and so forth, and I actually think that'll be fun. You know, I still get recognized all the time, you know, wherever I go, and I enjoy that. You know, people will sometimes be apologetic or they won't approach, but everyone gets a part of the fun when they when they start a conversation or they want to take a picture. And I'm still happy to do that with people. So a year from now, I hope it's a whole bunch of that. I hope I lament that I haven't been home much.

00:30:35
Speaker 1: I like that all right, I think that's pretty much it. Before we let you go, give us your most simplistic advice you would give to the next golden bachelor.

00:30:55
Speaker 2: Do the best you can do to not get caught up in the moment.

00:31:01
Speaker 1: Okay, don't let the.

00:31:03
Speaker 2: Tidal wave of activity take you up to a velocity that supersede your ability to think clearly.

00:31:14
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that. I like that. That's very good. Gary. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day. We know you're a busy guy. It was so much fun chatting with you. We've it's been a while, so this was a nice catch up and it was great talking to you.

00:31:29
Speaker 2: Thanks. I love seeing you guys, so happy that you're doing well and you look awesome and your relationship is flourishing. Very happy for you.

00:31:37
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you, and to all our listeners, thank you guys so much for tuning into Betchler Happy Hour. Make sure you download and subscribe to the podcast.

00:31:46
Speaker 3: You will have more exclusive interviews coming your way. Thanks for listening. Bye.