Who Blocked Bravo?

00:00:01
Speaker 1: Hi Amber, Hi Lola, Welcome to an Unlikely Affair. I like it better when you're in front of me, next to me, touching me. Ooh, like in your bed, touching you, just like where you're not through a screen. But I have to say I was like overwhelmed by the amount of love that we got from the last episode same. It was wild how how into it people were and so many people saying this gave me happy tears. I cried at the end, which is exactly what we wanted.

00:00:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly the purpose of this podcast. I mean, not to make people cry, but like no.

00:00:43
Speaker 1: But to understand the bond and how high the stakes are. That that was always my intention behind it and just showing how far we've come. And I also I can never stop being myself. So for people who listen to like the first and second episode, like I believe in strong foreplay, like don't just put it in right, It's only going to get juicier. There's only you know, more and more memories. And I don't know about you, but there are times where I feel like I disassociate and then I'll drive past like a certain place and I'll be like, oh my god, I remember this one time. Like I've kind of put up such a wall, a mental shield of like I don't remember a whole lot during that time, but then something triggers it, or like something you'll say, I'm like, oh my gosh, I do remember that.

00:01:39
Speaker 2: Yeah. I have the same experience, not as much now living in Montana, but because my house it like the house on Mulholland I lived two minutes from, so I would pass that house multiple times a day and like just ran and sometimes the thoughts wouldn't come. But then all of a sudden, I'd be driving and I would see the street and I was like, it would literally take my breath away, because I do have so many memories in that house.

00:02:09
Speaker 1: Right, the one that I lived into.

00:02:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, that was the nesting house. That was the house that we both like when we separated, the kids stayed there, and then we both went in and out of this apartment in Studio City.

00:02:22
Speaker 1: Can I tell you something about that house? I always fucking hated it.

00:02:28
Speaker 2: I think we all did. Why did you hate it?

00:02:31
Speaker 1: Well, originally I thought that I just hated the house and it needed an overhaul. And then we had an overhaul, and then I was like maybe if I changed this, and I was like, oh, it's just the energy of the house. The house is great, it's the energy within it. Yeah.

00:02:46
Speaker 2: I think I had that experience the first time that I lived on my own with the girls, I had that same experience. It really affects you, like energy. I'm such a impath and sensitive person to energy. Like I can walk into a room just like I'm either really drawn to a person or I'm like, Okay, I got to go on the other side of the room because this person is giving like not good vibes.

00:03:08
Speaker 1: Right you and I relate in that in that way. Like I can walk into something as simple as like a mommy and me class and my mom will be like, are you gonna go back to it? And I'm like no, and she's like why, And I'm like, didn't like the energy, didn't like the Functionuy, I just don't want to, Like, I just don't want to be there. You didn't like the songs, No, songs were fine, it was just the energy from the room. I'm like, we're not going back. I didn't dig it.

00:03:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know that's funny. I felt that way when I lived in Camrio and my kids did It's really interesting if you listen to kids and how they they're just like if you take them into a house, they'll tell you right away. And I think kids are so in tune with their nervous systems that they'll tell you right away whether like and it's true. It's like you got to Parks.

00:03:51
Speaker 1: Stunning though I had never been like in person, so I don't know the energy, but like looking at your Instagram and it being like the what's that noise? Oh, Lisa, my mom's here, Lisa, Hey, Lisa, I just can't. People are like, do you want a third child? I'm like, I have one. I have one. She's a grown ass woman that I have to move.

00:04:15
Speaker 2: Come on, be nice to your mom.

00:04:17
Speaker 1: I'm so nice to her, I know.

00:04:19
Speaker 2: But you're so lucky. You're so lucky that you have that person like by your side. Now I get it. It's a mother daughter relationship. And I have my own shit with my mom like we all do. But like, I love my mom, you love your mom.

00:04:32
Speaker 1: So I'm the luckiest girl in the world. We all know this, whatever, but there are times where I'm like, in this whole you know, in the bigger picture of my mom moving out and helping me, you know, take care of ocean and raise her. When she thought she was coming out to just remedy a situation in her mothering me and getting me to, you know, be an independent person. She then loves independence if she just like transferred her own independence onto me and now looks at me when a waiter comes over and is like, what would you like to eat? And she looks at me like what do I want to eat? Like, I don't know, bitch, what do you want to eat?

00:05:14
Speaker 2: We need to get Lisa out of the house. We need to get her out of the house. If she's open to dating, I think that would be like.

00:05:21
Speaker 1: Just no desire to date anybody? Do you lease? Yeah?

00:05:25
Speaker 2: But how but she's never dated before? So how do you know that? Like, it's sometimes it's like you have to we have to put yourself out there, and maybe she realizes like, oh yeah, I really didn't like it, But maybe she ends up loving it, and then you never, like, then you're really going to have a kid to look out for.

00:05:40
Speaker 1: Oh geez, no, Amber, you're giving me a whole new set of stressors.

00:05:45
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, so I you were talking before about having these images and I actually had one that I don't know why I made the biggest Well I do know why I made the biggest deal about this. Do you remember when you were in the house and you let London put press on glue on nails when she was like ten. You probably don't even remember because it wasn't like you're probably like you're that was a really stupid thing to get mad over. I'll never forget when London came home and she's like, Lala, let me put on glue on nails, And I was so freakin mad at you. I was like infuriated, And in that moment, I realized, well, now, looking back, I was just looking for any reason to be upset with you. I really was, Well, that makes total sense, of course, No, it doesn't make total sense, like I should. That was like such a stupid thing to get mad about.

00:06:39
Speaker 1: There are a lot of things that I look back on now that I'm a mom and I go, wow, I really put her through a lot, and I should have known better. I should have had more respect. But I was deep in my alcoholism. I wasn't a mom. I looked at you as someone who you were the mom of those kids, and those were you know, the greatest loves of his life. You had given him something that I had. I you always felt up here and I didn't feel like I could. I felt intimidated by you very much, so you did of course, yeah, you know, you you had actual talent. That was intimidating to me. You know, I was just some girl on reality TV. That was a lot of pressure.

00:07:36
Speaker 2: But I told you the other day, with what you do and under now like being like spending a lot more time with you being a lot of people don't know this. You have to have talent to be in reality and I didn't know that in the beginning, right as an as an actress. I remember when reality started really popping off, especially when you came on the screen, and like you know, and then I also hated reality probably for that reason too. I mean I think I had watched maybe like Southern Charm or something like really you know like that, but that takes a lot of talent too. Like you have this like personality that is a lot of people wish they had, Like you have this confidence, this this like spontaneous fiery attitude and also a lot of love. Right, Like once people really get to know you and they peel back the onions, Like, I think that's where you and I are very similar in a lot of ways. Right, you have this very tough exterior, but you have heart, and when you had ocean, you became not just this fierce woman. You became a mama bear, which is like beautiful and a lot of people can relate to that.

00:08:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too. There is a shift that happens, and I appreciate you saying that reality TV is a talent. I think as I get older and I'm sober and I look at what I do, I have more of an appreciation for the art of making reality TV because not just anyone can do it. And I appreciate other people where I watch their shows and they're making reality TV living their lives and I'm like, you fucking crushed. Like i just finished Real Housewives of Salt Lake and I'm like, this is so good. You all crushed it and we're all just like authentic and told your truth. I look at reality TV very differently now that I have a fresh perspective on it, if that makes sense, because I took a break and then coming back, I'm like, oh, I'm a little rusty, Like I actually was pretty.

00:09:39
Speaker 2: Damn good at what I did. Yeah, but that just shows you it's an art, really is an art. And you had to be quick on your feet, and you had to, like, you know, you have that talent of being able to spit it back and be quick on your toes where some people just don't. You're like for me, I personal, I'm like, oh, damn, I should have said that like three days after the situation that happened.

00:09:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, instead, I go, Damn, I shouldn't have said that. I should have watched way.

00:10:09
Speaker 2: So I'll never forget the first time you popped up on vander Pump when we were watching Vanner Pump one night in bed.

00:10:16
Speaker 1: Well, you know, after that, Bravo was blocked on all of your TVs.

00:10:21
Speaker 2: Damn yeah, are you serious?

00:10:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you couldn't watch Oh my gosh, like codes on it and stuff to watch that channel. Oh my god, that's crazy. Did you know that?

00:10:34
Speaker 2: No, but I didn't even watch Bravo. I wasn't even watching Bravo at that time. Well, even when I knew you guys were together, I still wasn't watching this show. Well, first of all, let's be honest. The show went on for how many seasons? And I felt, well, it's still going on. I felt like, oh damn, I have like five seasons to catch up with. But then it was like the pain of I don't even know what hapen on vander Pump Rolls. All I know is people are like, you should watch it. I was like, apps fusolutely not. I'm not watching vander pump Roles because I'm literally living in it right like I'm living the reality of the show very much so. But I will never forget when he saw you on that screen the first night, What.

00:11:20
Speaker 1: Do you mean.

00:11:23
Speaker 2: When we were together and you came on the screen, you were you were a like.

00:11:31
Speaker 1: A waiter or what is it called a hostess.

00:11:34
Speaker 2: You were a hostess. He you came on the screen and we were lying in bed together and I was not paying attention, doing something else on my phone, probably playing like some word cross game. And he was like, oh my god, I'll never forget that. He's like, oh my god, I have to get a general with that girl. Very quickly after that, he was taking a work trip to New York. And I'm very familiar in the ways that someone goes outside their marriage. It's like when you've lived through these patterns you recognize the choreography of betrayal, right, So it wasn't a shock.

00:12:15
Speaker 1: It was just for me.

00:12:17
Speaker 2: I guess it was confirmation what my gut had already told me, but my brain was telling me another story. But the confirmation for me was the picture he posted on Instagram of a YouTube together. So that was pretty much like I kept track for so many months just through Instagram. Like it's so easy to like catch people doing I mean, not smart people. Anyways, I didn't.

00:12:45
Speaker 1: I didn't catch anything.

00:12:46
Speaker 2: But you probably didn't give a fuck. You didn't give a fuck at that point.

00:12:50
Speaker 1: Well, and that's what's so hard is when people would ask me, like how did you not know? It's like because I loved him gone so much that I didn't. I think subconsciously I didn't give a fuck where he was, didn't care.

00:13:03
Speaker 2: And even now, it's funny, that's how I felt as the wife of course my house. Every time I knew he was coming back, I had I was a ball of anxiety and I just it was just nerves and panic and like I just did not like knowing that he was coming back. I loved knowing he was leaving, so I didn't care. I didn't care, So you just got the stuff that you wanted. You got that that tank filled up.

00:13:30
Speaker 1: What do you mean, the stuff, like actual things? Yeah, like the actual stuff. And then well, at the beginning. You have to remember, at the beginning, we were always together. And I think, I think it's my karma. I think I made a deal with the devil. I think, uh, I liked the stuff. Anytime my gut would speak to me, I would drink more and numb it. I think there's so many things that I truly chose not to see because the moment that it became clear, I would drink until enough was enough and I got sober, and then I you know, I continued to work throughout our time together, and I made my own money. So I stopped caring about Chanel bags and Louis Vuitton bags because I could go get that on my own. I stopped caring about the private jets because I was on it with him and that was not fun. I stopped caring about being on boats because I was with him, and that was not fun. I just wanted to feel peace. And I don't mean that as an insult, because we had many good times together. We were just not meant to be in a partnership ever, and we thrived as friends. That's what I always really appreciated.

00:14:49
Speaker 2: I knew, I felt that One thing that I would say that I was probably a little more envious observing your guys's relationship from Afar is that you guys had this like a deep rooted friendship. We had something else. We definitely had something else, and I don't I'm not quite sure what that is, but I saw you guys have this this like ebb and flow. That was like, really, I wouldn't say it was beautiful at the time, but like now looking back, you know, because I don't want to say, you know, there's something very likable in the beginning about this person. Oh yeah, right, take away the stuff like take away, it's a personality I think that I was very very attracted to. I also came into the relationship at seventeen, when I first met him in New York when I was working on all my children. It was the personality. It was like he was what I kind of always wanted to be like in terms of his charismatic, being able to tell stories, be funny. But then like over time you learn this is why dating someone for A second is important because you really, you know, when the mask comes down and you see people for who they are, or does the good outweigh the bad? No, And that's not always the case.

00:16:12
Speaker 1: No. And also because we we had a question about it, says La La. You have mentioned never truly being in love. How did you stay and have a child? And that goes back to what you just said. I'm still and I feel guilty ever questioning this because we talked about this episode one that Ocean is just the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I feel like the sole purpose of that entire experience with him was to get Ocean here. You know, she was just meant to be on this planet as my baby. But I think because there were such high highs and such low lows and there was never anything in between. And you know, still the reason why I feel like I started started putting myself out there, you know, I want to say, like nine months to a year after the breakup, I kind of did that and then retreated because I noticed I was attracting men who did that to me, and I was like, this is a me problem. I am attracting men who take me to you know, the bottom of the ocean and then into fucking outer space within a matter of moments. And I'm addicted to that, and that is that is toxic. And we have to figure out what's going in with what's going on within our own selves to say, why do I why is this attractive to me? Why do I think that this is normal? Why am I getting off on this?

00:17:42
Speaker 2: One hundred percent? I can relate to that. I think I was in the beginning seeking emotional security in a place that was was not I don't want to stay safe, but it was just like the emotional security that wasn't there, right. I was trying to find that in someone else because I didn't have that in myself, right, And I think that's where you have to have a lot of compassion and then eventually you realize that that's actually an addiction, right. Addiction just doesn't mean chugging a glass of vodka or a bottle of vodka, or taking pills or gambling or having sex or shopping or overeating. There's like this psychological addiction that I have had experience, and I didn't have the tools then because when I was so young and I needed that. I really think my experience. I truly believe to my core that experience and the experience that I'm still going through on a daily basis, is one of my sole purposes in this life, Like I really needed. It's teaching me so much every single day, every single day.

00:18:52
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because no matter, no matter what, you go through these phases of life, and every time you think you've got it figured out, though, the universe knocks you off of your toes to teach you another lesson, to humble you, to get you to where you need to be. And I think you saying that it's it's also the power of reflection after sobriety.

00:19:17
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, it's interesting. I did that for two years without a program, and my experience was completely different. Did you ever like to stop drinking for a period of time without using a program?

00:19:33
Speaker 1: No. The first time that I stopped drinking and went into a program, I was still smoking weed. Which then the second round, where I've been sober now for over seven years, I had to go back because I felt like I made a mockery of the program. I'm like, these women were working so hard to stay sober and I was smoking weed. It was like an amendsa had to make.

00:19:53
Speaker 2: Sobriety is a journey, right, and it's an individual journey. Some people just want to put down the drink, or some people just want to put down the weed and keep drinking. Like you had to do what's best for you.

00:20:06
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a sober person.

00:20:07
Speaker 2: Then no, no, no, I mean not in the program that we work, right, there's other programs that people work in this specific twelve step programs. You it's any mind altering substance.

00:20:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, what were you saying. I don't know. I cut you off. I need to stop doing that because you're doing something about Amber never cut which I always do. I need to work on that. She forgets everything. I'm like, how do you not remember? How do you not literally it was on the tip of your tongue. She's like ninety seven with fucking amnesia.

00:20:44
Speaker 2: But let me tell you, yes, I one hundred percent true. But that also has to deal with just like having too much going on in my brain. I do have to say, I've been taking fish oil and I've noticed the biggest difference in my recall, Like my recall time the time laps might be like a day and then it's gone down to like within ten minutes. I'm like, oh that's it.

00:21:06
Speaker 1: Well, that's better.

00:21:08
Speaker 2: And I'm writing. I'm writing everything down. Remember you said, you're like, write it down. If you have something to say, write it down. And I have I write now. I write everything. I mean, my notes in my phone are just so freaking disorganized, But the really important ones I always pin, which I love.

00:21:23
Speaker 1: I love that feature. Oh wow, you know how to pin things on your phone? Yeah wow, I'm engrasped. I'm very impressed by.

00:21:32
Speaker 2: And do you know how to lock a note?

00:21:33
Speaker 1: No, you don't.

00:21:34
Speaker 2: You don't know how to lock a note. I can't wait till I see you next time. I have so much to teach you.

00:21:39
Speaker 1: See No, I don't know how to lock a note. I need to figure out. So Ocean's iPad is connected to my phone, and I started panicking one day because she pulled up photos and it was just her and like her friends throughout like the last year. But you know, I have a lot of stuff on there. She's seen me naked million times. I'm not really worried if she sees like a photo of me naked, but if I get a nude from somebody, I don't need to do. I don't need to so speaking of I need to lock a lot of things. Yeah, but she's grounded from her iPad right now because she was a massive oh amber I was. I was so La La from vander Pump Rules on her ass last night.

00:22:26
Speaker 2: Would she do?

00:22:27
Speaker 1: She had her dolls in this stroller and all of the sudden I hear it just like slamming down the stairs and she's at the top of the stairs and I was like, oh my god, are you okay? What happened? She goes, I pushed it down the stairs and I go, why would you do that? And she goes because I wanted to So I told her like, that was not okay, and then she got so lippy with me. So I took away all her roomy costumes that I had just gotten for her because yeah, you know, she was asking about them since you've been here, yeah, from K pop Demon Hunter. So she lost those. Then she kept getting lippy with me, so I and obviously she lost the stroller as well. I was like, we're done. And then then I had to say, you talk one more time, and I'm putting hot sauce in your mouth. I bluff. I bluffal up right, and she goes, if when you put hot sauce in my mouth, I can't wait, I'm gonna swallow it and then become a fire breathing dragon and light you on fire.

00:23:25
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my goodness, no, So you want.

00:23:30
Speaker 1: To know what I did? I started laughing. I go, you think dragons are real? That's fine? Is that real?

00:23:37
Speaker 2: You crushed her dreams of knowing that dragons aren't real. I'm sorry. You crushed my spirit as me and may have fucked up the carpet on my stairs. So I'm annoyed, okay, But the most important lesson in that is that throwing a baby down the stairs can really hurt that baby. Did she have any like recollection of like?

00:24:02
Speaker 1: No, because when I tell her things like that, she was the mom it's not even real. I wouldn't really do that. And I'm like, oh, okay, Yeah, so she knows that, but thinks that she's going to become a fire breathing dragon with some chilula in her gut.

00:24:15
Speaker 2: So your laugh's on onces or consequences where you take away things.

00:24:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, And she wouldn't stop. She wouldn't stop, and so then she started again, and I go, I would think long and hard about what's about to come out of your mouth right now, because the gymnastics bar that you love so much upstairs will be gone if you say one more word.

00:24:35
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I can't. So when London was little, she was like three, and she went through this spitting phase. She would just and I was like, where the hell did she pick this up? Yeah, And so finally I was like, I didn't know how to I don't know how to discipline her at this point. And I think it was my mom that told me put apples side of vinegar a score bottle, and whenever she's because it's healthy for you, right, but it tastes disgusting. So whenever she would do that, I would I would say, nope, we're going to the refrigerator. Open your mouth, show me your tongue. And I mean it was like I was putting gasoline probably tastes like gasoline, but down her throat and she stopped. The spitting stopped very quickly.

00:25:21
Speaker 1: Okay, Well that I just she she hasn't lost it like that for a while, and all of this sudden she was just I didn't know who she was. Last night kicking, throwing the tantrum, and I'm like that we have not dealt with this in so long. I don't understand why she's being like this. Mm hmmmmmm.

00:25:41
Speaker 2: The demon. The demon came out and then I felt.

00:25:44
Speaker 1: Bad because she came up and she was like, I'm sorry, Mom and wanted to sleep in my bed, and I was like, okay, you can get in.

00:25:49
Speaker 2: That's okay. I mean as long as there was a consequence. I mean, that's what I've learned with my kids. The consequences have to be immediately. Yeah, if you delay them, Like for instance, Riley had a sleep over this past weekend, and I probably shouldn't have let it happened because she spent all day at the mall, which I dropped her off for the first time, and I was like terrified, But they ended up being five, but four girls spent the night the upstairs in my house. Disaster destroyed. Okay, I said, eleven thirty is bedtime. I woke. I had fallen asleep because I go to bed super early. It was one thirty in the morning, and I heard this giggling. So I came up the stairs and you hear the and then the door was closed, but you could see the light. I opened the door. One of the girls is on a freaking ledge in one of the rooms. There's like this tall ledge with a sprite in her hand.

00:26:42
Speaker 1: A sprite. Well this has poppen one. Yeah, sprite.

00:26:47
Speaker 2: Oh my god. They were on a sugar high and they looked at me. They're like, we can't sleep. And I'm like, the fucking light's on, No wonder why you can't.

00:26:56
Speaker 1: Sleep and your face chugging sugar.

00:26:58
Speaker 2: Yes, I said, two of you in there, two of you in there. I'm like, it's one thirty five in the morning. And that was it. And I was like, I told Riley, and when I tell you, they just tried. There was sprite bottles on my stairway when I woke up this morning. Like they were like it was the craziest thing. I told Riley. I said, like a frat house. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I said, you guys are old enough to make a mess, you're old enough to clean it up. You're old enough to stay up till one thirty in the morning, you're old enough to clean up the spilled. It was like they had a freaking party. And I told Riley this morning, I said, no more. I said, this is I'm really actually disappointed because this is how you It's just so disrespectful to our house. And I even said to her, I said, if you had a house, would you like someone to do this, if you were actually paying rent? And she's like, Mom, we were just having fun. I'm like, you're missing the whole point. Never mind, get in the freaking car. Let's go to school.

00:27:56
Speaker 1: What a freaking nightmare. What a nightmare?

00:28:00
Speaker 2: I know, I can't even they're so why are kids so gross and like messy? I mean, your kids are little. Your kids are a little, so you're you're dealing with toys. I'm dealing with like I deal with it is gross, make makeup all of it. The conditioner is spilt in the shower, Like you step in the shower and you're like slipping, and you're like, why can't you just put the freaking top on the conditioner? Literally it takes two seconds.

00:28:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, I went from wanting three kids to I want no kids. Just kidding.

00:28:34
Speaker 2: I literally went downstairs and Riley made popcorn for all her friends. It was like the wrapper was left on the counter, the bag was left on the counter, and then there was like little extra kernels, and I'm just like, this is disgusting. You you guys are disgusting. Anyways, I don't know. I think because since I've got I've been sober, I'm super o cdy about my house being clean, and maybe I need to like a little bit, But like, how do you teach kids not to be so frickin gross?

00:29:06
Speaker 1: You want to know what you do? You put all the stuff she leaves around the house in her room, the popcorn kernels, the popcorn bag. If you like it around, you can have it. This is your space, this is your room. How fun with it? Here's the cans of sprite. Yeah, that's what I would do. But then again, I don't know. I don't know.

00:29:28
Speaker 2: Em I mean, no, you do know, I'm gonna try it.

00:29:31
Speaker 1: You could. So speaking of how both of us parent, it's weird because your kids are older. But I feel like when I talk to Ocean, I'm dealing. I have to remember that even though there are times she speaks like she's a full teenager, I have to remember she's only four almost five.

00:29:57
Speaker 2: She's so mature for her age.

00:29:59
Speaker 1: I know. It's why I tell her she's like, I don't want to be a kid anymore. I want to be a grown up. And I'm like, don't say that, don't say that. But I met, I met Riley when she was three. I think London was six almost seven? Is that what it would have been, m or maybe it was the other way around. I can't remember.

00:30:19
Speaker 2: No, Riley was three.

00:30:21
Speaker 1: Riley was three, right, Yep, she was a baby.

00:30:23
Speaker 2: I think she was still. No, she wasn't in diapers. I don't think she was in diapers anymore.

00:30:27
Speaker 1: No, she wasn't in diapers when Laala was officially with him. How did you approach co parenting? Were there ever any rules Amber gave Lalla when it came to being with her kids? This is a There were so many different phases. There were moments.

00:30:42
Speaker 2: Where like I was.

00:30:45
Speaker 1: I remember when I was posting them and I don't know if I was sober at this point or not. But you had told me not to and you had texted me or him, and then I continue to do it. So you posted something on socials, but like, do you remember it where you and I would actually have con like constructive conversations about co parenting?

00:31:09
Speaker 2: One hundred percent? I think I also did you know that? Going back to like a lot of the things that I got mad of. I was just looking for a reason to be mad, and I wasn't healed at that point, nor did I wanted to be healed. I wanted to live in the anger, which is like, if anyone's going through that, just just do the work. It's a lot easier. It's like you get on the other side. But I think I'll never forget you were and still are the only woman that came into that house or in my kid's life that actually gave a damn about bedtime and school, specifically helping London who struggled, and so many people were in denial of her challenges. But you saw that right and everyone else, even to this day, the other person that's in his life are you know. It says the craziest shit to my kids, which makes me really angry.

00:32:12
Speaker 1: You were.

00:32:12
Speaker 2: You were there, and you gave structure. So when you were in that house, I had to keep reminding myself and actually other people had to remind me as well. It's that it was. It was a good thing that you were there. You were fucking there. You were there, and I'll never forget you were like all hands on deck, So thank.

00:32:34
Speaker 1: You for that. Well, it was a pleasure to be there for all of that, and it taught me, you know, if I ever got involved again with someone who had children, it would be very important for me.

00:32:53
Speaker 3: Sorry, it's okay, just to make sure that the mom knows that like you're seeing, you're heard, you know, what happens at your house.

00:33:04
Speaker 4: I would love to implement over here. Like however, I can.

00:33:09
Speaker 1: Make your life easier, make the transition easy. There's just so much that you realize when you have your.

00:33:17
Speaker 5: Own kids, you know, And I know that I made that hard for you, and I know I can't change it.

00:33:28
Speaker 1: But I learned a lot. And I'm happy that the little moments that we succeeded in co parenting together, I'm.

00:33:38
Speaker 4: Happy that we have those, even though they were few and far between, because there was just so much hurt and vain and trauma. You know, we really did rise to the occasion a lot, and I think we should be proud.

00:33:54
Speaker 2: Oh, I am really proud of us. We've come a very very long way. And when I tell people our story, the origin of our story, about this new podcast, people are shocked. People are shocked, and that just makes it's just confirmation that we're heading in the right direction. We get one life, and we make a lot of mistakes along the way. But if we're just slowly one percent a little bit better every day, or ten percent one day, one percent the other day, we're doing our job right. We have little humans and big humans that are watching every move, and we have a family now, like we literally have this family that is so beautiful together.

00:34:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, our job is just it'll only I remember a therapist said to me, it only takes one healthy parent to make a child. Okay, so it's our job to give love, give discipline, give structure, all of the things that are not that fun for a child to get. But once they get older, they're very they're better for it, and they're grateful. And I don't know about your kids. My kid thrives when she has structure, when she is able to call the shots and run shit and act a damn fool. She's in a full spiral. And so even though I don't get to do a lot like I have to play good cop and bad cop, I'm proud of it because I know that that my kid is going to thrive from it. So I know it's not fun that you have to see sprite cans and all the things and give structure and get your ass up for school. But like we're freaking crushing Amber.

00:35:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's freaking hard. Believe me. Some days all I want to do is lay in my closet and eat myself into Ablivian and cry.

00:36:01
Speaker 1: I wake up in the morning and I'm like, you've seen better days, bitch. You always look tired, Like I always just look tired. That's just like my new I'm like.

00:36:12
Speaker 2: I'm not always look tired.

00:36:14
Speaker 1: Well, thank you, ipatches, bowtoks, all all of them for bo talks. Yeah, thank go real there there will be a point in time. We're three episodes in and I think some people that are tuning in are still They're like, I really do want to know the nitty gritty of how they came to be. So I want people to write in. I want you to ask your questions. They like, don't be vague. We want to get into the nitty gritty of things and be honest. So your your question may be so wild, but if you have it, please write it in because we want you guys to understand how this started. I loved doing this podcast today though, because I had the outline of the direction. But every time I'm with you, I just feel like we just tangent. No, I don't need bullet points.

00:37:06
Speaker 2: There's so much And by the way, even though there's been you know, some some time between the time you left him to the time that you slept with them or you were with him, there's so much healing. But I still get healing by doing this with you the same because we're talking about moments that maybe we, like you didn't realize about, you know, the fingernail like situation with London and doing the glue on nails like that was really impactful for me as a mother at the time, and you didn't know. And so it's like, this is what the audience is going to get. Is they're going to get They're going to see us actually heal in real real time, and they're going to see us you know, all the fun shit that's that's gonna come. Oh.

00:37:50
Speaker 1: I love you so much. I see I'm excited to see you in person soon.

00:37:55
Speaker 2: Oh me too, Yeah, I know, I'm excited.

00:37:58
Speaker 1: My loves. Thank you for listening to another episode of An Unlikely Affair with Lala Kent and Amber Shiulders. We're going to catch you guys next week.

00:38:06
Speaker 2: Bye bye guys.