The One Where AJ Gibson & Emile Ennis Jr Confess Their Mess to Lala

00:00:05
Speaker 1: It's a La La Kent, motherfucker. We're back with a brand new episode of my brand new podcast, Give them La La hurry it Hello.

00:00:16
Speaker 2: I know guess who.

00:00:17
Speaker 1: Guess who it's Jess, just like a Walter. Oh my god, what a freaking amazing weekend.

00:00:25
Speaker 2: Tell me about it because I haven't heard about it yet.

00:00:27
Speaker 1: I just live for ocean. Kent. You have no idea, Like you do have an idea because you're here every day, right, But my daughter is a baby genius. That's just period. No one can argue with me. I'll say to her, like, I started doing this thing where I'm like, mama and I point at myself, loves ocean, and then I point at her. So now every time I say mama loves she points at herself, or she'll point at me and then point at herself. When I'm like, it's the cutest thing. She shows me that she's one.

00:01:01
Speaker 2: Oh she dies.

00:01:02
Speaker 1: Yes, I haven't seen that yet. I know she waves at everybody. She waves at everyone, and when people don't wave back, I want to fucking jump that.

00:01:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, wave to my child, Wave to my baby. Not skinny but not hat fat. Posted on her story, a couple of weeks ago and she was recording her son waving to someone walking by, and she said in the in the video, she's like, look at him, he's waving. Wave back, wave back, don't be a bitch. Don't be a bitch, to be a bitch. And then the person he's walking and she's like, okay, there's a bitch right there.

00:01:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, you bitch. Yeah, wave back to my child. Yeah. So when people don't wave back, I number one want to cut them, and number two I wave back to ocean. I'm like, don't you worry. Mama's always got you. That's so cute. Yeah. So we we went to Teddy Mellencamp's daughter's birthday. Okay, she turned two. Uh, Stacy and Bea were there with Hartford. I met a bunch of cool moms, you did. I met a bunch of cool moms really, who are just doing the damn thing.

00:02:01
Speaker 2: Cool moms are a vibe, you know, nothing hotter than just like a parent, right, who's like doing the parent job.

00:02:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know that balls deep in it. Yeah. So we were already talking about preschool and Stasse texted me Sunday morning. The party was on Saturday, bright and early. She was like, what the fuck do we do about this? We have to start schmoozing. Yeah, I said two things. I have been in an environment for so many years where the facade and materialistic things were a priority. I don't want it anymore. I don't like it. I didn't like it then. Contrary, but what about the time you said blow jobs our paygs? I got it all right, shock value. Yeah, I don't want it, didn't care about it fucking then. I don't care about it now. My two top priorities that I told Stossy one, I want my kid to have the best time ever. Want her to be around kids. I want her to be stimulated, I want her to be safe. The second is I want my kid around Hartford. I grew up with my mom's best friends having babies, and their babies were my best friends. Like, that is priority to me. So wherever Hartford is going, where do I sign up?

00:03:26
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:03:26
Speaker 2: You know, do you think all of your babies will go like your crew, all the kids will go in the same Or is it just like you're focusing on Hartford and Ocean because they seem to be No.

00:03:35
Speaker 1: I think the thing that's hard with Sheena is she lives the dream where she like has her place in La she has her place in San Diego, she has her replace in Palm Springs. She travels like she lives such a fun, fun life. But what's hard is like I always know that she's constantly on the move. So obviously when it comes, I'll talk to Brittany, I'll talk to Sheena. But it gets hard, like we signed me brittain Stas signed the girls and cruise up for baby sensory classes on Wednesdays, and it's like mommy and me and I knew she no couldn't do it because she's spending her time in San Diego right now. Oh you know, so I will venture into like where are we going to school? Everybody, let's do this.

00:04:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that is a good point you had, so that was important to you. You have who's still I think your best friend, someone that you went to like grade school with.

00:04:35
Speaker 1: Right, Yes, see, none of them. I had two of.

00:04:38
Speaker 2: Them really, and you're still friends with both.

00:04:41
Speaker 1: Of them, the best of friends. So that's important. Yes, Like they know every like the way I react to things. They're like, oh okay, that's because this happened when she was four, right, So she's still dealing with that, Like, yeah, they know every Woody get a heartbreak, They've been there for it all. Like things that I would never talk to anyone about, I would speak to them about.

00:05:04
Speaker 2: That's great.

00:05:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I want that for my baby. And you know what, Stossy and I are very similar in the sense that we're very structured. I can't fly by the seat of my pants, like I need to know, Like if you tell me we're linking up Wednesday, November two at eleven, I will be there at ten fifty five, yep. Where Yeah it's on my calendar, Yeah it is. Yes.

00:05:28
Speaker 2: Wait, but let me go back to when you said schmoozing. You're like you said, Stacy said something like to you about we need to be schmoozing, and you were like, I'm not explain that a little more, because do you mean, like, listen, I don't want to send my kid to like this this school where I have to worry about her asking for a Gucci bag when she's five, or like, what do you mean by that?

00:05:49
Speaker 1: Or was it this is what I mean by that? Okay, La is very weird, and I know we have a lot of listeners who like it strange to me too. I come from fucking Utah. You go to the public school that's a mile away and no one thinks twice about it, Like that's just your school. LA is so different. There's amazing public schools, charter schools, private schools, but each one. Not so much the public school because just based off of my public schools, like come one, come all, you live in the neighborhood. Yeah, but private schools are insane to get into. And I was talking to moms even before I gave birth, and I remember having this conversation with Stassy. Everyone was like, a year and a half is when you start, wow for preschool, like start the process of schmoozing because that sets up their entire So it's like politics, one hundred percent. It is politics. And Sazzy and I looked at each other. We have plenty of time. Hello, oceans turning one. Hartford will be a year.

00:06:49
Speaker 2: And a half in June, Like it's here, Yeah, it's freaking here. And you're saying, you're like, I don't want I'm not about that life.

00:06:58
Speaker 1: Well, a lot of a lot of parents that I spoke to before I gave birth, it was like you could just tell it was social hour for moms. Motherfucker. I got a job, right, I got a job. Like I if I'm taking Ocean to preschool, it's because I need to go to work. I don't have time to like show off my newest birken bag. Yeah, I don't have time to talk to about the luncheon that I went to and have.

00:07:24
Speaker 2: The dubb little charity Like, No.

00:07:27
Speaker 1: I don't I work during the day. You're a working mom, correct. Yeah, And at this point in time, I'm Ocean's provider. The money that comes into my household is coming from me only me, and I'm providing, right, So I can't do the whole like my kid goes here because it's so fun for the moms.

00:07:50
Speaker 2: Right, and because it's like and you can't spend because it probably is the way that you're saying. I don't know. That's why I asked how it works. It sounds like it's almost a full time job getting your kid into a school. It is like starting at one and a half and you're scheduling these luncheons and I need to know where to go to talk to these ladies. That's like a full time job.

00:08:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, and some and some of the moms start preschool at like two or three. Okay. I was like, I'm not ready to send her to preschool at that age, right, four is good. I don't want her gone every day. Like maybe two to three days a week is totally fine for a few hours. But like I mostly work from home. We're in my office right now. It's hot mess in here.

00:08:33
Speaker 2: I love it, love it in here.

00:08:36
Speaker 1: I feel like hot. I know it's a good vibe in here, but I like just being where my kid is. So it's just all of these these bridges that I'm like, no, we don't need a cross yet, but if you live in La, no, you're crossing them now.

00:08:52
Speaker 2: Because it's like pressure to feel like you have to start. Yeah, dude, can I tell you how much it is for this preschool? I'm dying to know? Actually, preschool two days a week? Let me yes, let me guess, Let me guess.

00:09:04
Speaker 1: Is it?

00:09:04
Speaker 2: Are we guessing months?

00:09:06
Speaker 1: Year, yearly? Jesus five thousand dollars, sixteen thousand dollars. If I want to send Ocean to this preschool, oh my god, two days a week.

00:09:21
Speaker 2: A year, yeah, oh my god, double that. And that's a lot of like college tuition.

00:09:29
Speaker 1: That's yeah, But if you think about it, a lot of these private schools out here are like fifty to sixty thousand dollars a year. That gives me for these kids to go to private school.

00:09:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, have you ever thought about homeschooling? Were you homeschooled and the younger did you go to preschool?

00:09:47
Speaker 1: I did go to preschool. I went to Discovery Q.

00:09:50
Speaker 2: I was homeschooled for preschool, and I entered kindergarten knowing how to write in cursive and full. I was like, light your ahead, Damn, light years ahead.

00:10:02
Speaker 1: I think most people send kids to preschool for just to like get them interacting with other kids, right, But I want Ocean to be the same way, Like I want her walking and be like I can count to a million, right, here's my cursive right.

00:10:17
Speaker 2: Granted, my mom and all of her friends did it, so I was like socializing five days a week. So it was kind of like school, except we would like do our preschool until certain time and then we'd go play. But it makes sense if you're like a mom and you have a single child, it does make sense to send them to something that it's like, well, I want them to socialize, right, I get that.

00:10:39
Speaker 1: I get that an ocean will have a sibling one day. Yeah, we'll make sure of that.

00:10:44
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:10:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, and if I I would prefer to not have a man involved, like I'm not opposed to like finding a sperm donor. Yeah you know. Yeah, so when that time comes, because I don't want her super old and then I bring a baby in, like, I want them to be pretty close in it, pretty close in age. Yeah. So for me, if that time comes and I haven't met anyone who I know is a good dude and has cleared the background check that I secretly have gone on.

00:11:14
Speaker 2: Him secretly, not so secretly anymore, Okay, you know, then.

00:11:21
Speaker 1: Pull up the computer and show me some dudes.

00:11:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, why not.

00:11:25
Speaker 1: I have no problem with that.

00:11:26
Speaker 2: I think that's a great ada before how many years apart are you in Easton? A few right, like a little over too, see and you guys are close.

00:11:34
Speaker 1: I love that.

00:11:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's same with my siblings A year older, a few years younger. I before I'm literally two days before I met Kyle. I'm not kidding. I was doing this single thing for like a couple of years. I was feeling good, and I was like, this is it this is how you live. You just you don't need a man. I was like, this is how I'm going to do it. In a few years from now, I'm going to get a sperm donor. I'm going to be a career woman first. And then I was like excited about it. Yeah, and then I met Kyle and I was like shit.

00:12:04
Speaker 1: But that's how it usually happens. Yeah, yeah, you know, like, yeah, I'm talking to a few people right now, and my mom has asked me a few times like what are you wanting? Even one of these dudes asked me like what are you looking for? Yeah? I said nothing. Yeah, I'm so like we've spoken about this before, Like I'm fulfilled. I have my business that I'm working on, I have family, I have a great group of friends. Like I'm literally I have zero expectations.

00:12:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not looking for anything, which be prepared because that's usually when it comes. And you're like shit because you're like I'm fulfilled. I feel like that's when it comes because you're fulfilled.

00:12:49
Speaker 4: You know.

00:12:50
Speaker 2: It's like the old saying or whatever. It's like you cannot unless you're fulfilled, you cannot fulfill someone else.

00:12:56
Speaker 1: Of course, like you have to be one hundred percent with yourself so that you equal two hundred with a partner. Yes, but you can't do this fifty to fifty and.

00:13:03
Speaker 2: You can't look for someone to complete you complete yourself and then that person's a bonus. And that's like, you know, you have a partner in life for a life partner, but you don't have someone completing you right then you lose that person or whatever, even if it's with something something terrible happens, you are you don't know what to do with yourself. No, but I think that's when it comes. But I love that you say that, like I'm not looking for anyone and that's also you know me. I'm telling you, like la la, go have fun, give yourself at least a year of having fun.

00:13:32
Speaker 1: Only I think so too. That's what I think, And I wrote this in my book, like I don't think that you should have like that it's set in stone that you have one hoe phase. Yeah, no, you know, like a lot of people do it in their twenties. Some people don't do it at all. Like no judgment here, like live your life. But I think you know, you just roll with the punches. It's like I it is different though.

00:13:58
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, like, what what do you mean?

00:14:01
Speaker 1: Well, I'm not just out here I talk about like I'm just out here looking for some big old d Yeah, but I'm.

00:14:08
Speaker 2: Really not you you are, Well, I'll let you say it. What is what do you mean?

00:14:15
Speaker 1: Well, we've spoken a lot about like me now being sober.

00:14:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, And.

00:14:22
Speaker 1: I'm really proud of myself because last week and this week, we'll just say this week. This week, I've hit three AA meetings already, which the last time I hit three AA meetings in a row was like at the beginning of my sobriety. And you know, I'm just I went to this meeting that is so when you read the Big Book, there's like so many different areas of what it talks about. One of them is sex. So this meeting that I go to, it's a women's meeting. They talk about sexuality and sobriety and what it was like when they were drinking and what it's like now. And this woman shared her story and I just like, I had no intention of sharing, and she thought I raised my hand like so much going through my mind as she was talking, and then it was time to share, and she was like waw la, did you have your hand up? Would you like to share it? And I was like I didn't, but like, this is the universe letting me know that, Like I need to tell you. You inspire me. Thank you for your share. And I realized in that meeting, I'm not ready to have sex yet. Really, I'm not ready. I have so much work to do in this program. Still, I am not only like my relationship with sex back in the day was like Adam to the roster, this is so fun, Let's drink, let's touch each other. You know. Then I get into a relationship and now that it's ended and I my eyes are open to what was going on behind my back. Sex is tainted for me. I think about it and I'm disgusted. I've got to get out of that. I have to reclaim my sexuality. I have to reclaim what sex means to me, because right now, it's dirty, it's gross, it represents betrayal, it represents darkness, and like none of my doing, all of someone else is doing. But right now that's my focus. And so I called my sponsor. She sent over a lot of things that Jessica printed off, and now I just have to I was super proud of where I was with my steps, and now I'm going back to like rework steps to get me out of this headspace and get me confident in my sobriety, which I am. But there's a big difference between I'm confident in not picking up a drink that I'm solid on, but people don't realize that it's so much bigger going into AA and doing the program. Not picking up is the cherry on top. The work you have to do is a person and we're humans. So I'm not gonna say I'll never clap back again. I'm never gonna have sex unless it's the perfect person and it's a big old deed. Yeah, I feel great about it, like shit's gonna happen. But like that's what I'm working on right now because the not drinking part, I'm fucking solid. Put a vodka bottle in front of me right now, don't want it. Buy the other stuff, the most important stuff in my meetings and in the rooms. I got to revisit because my life is different now, very different than when I first got sober.

00:17:32
Speaker 2: And I think that's so incredible that you are willing to say all right, time to go back I've done the steps, Like I've shared before, I've plenty of family members and close friends who are sober now who are struggling with their sobriety, who are addicts currently and then in the program been out of it. And I have some friends who've gone through the program, and yes, they go to meetings here and there, but I don't think they've ever It's been years and they've never gone back through the steps. Other friends who have to do the steps constantly once they finish them, they're going back through them. And because I have a lot of people I know, I've heard about them and talked about them, and I think they're good. They're so great for everyone, and I love some of the specific steps. Just an example is like, and I'm not saying it correctly, I've never been through the program, but there's like there's a step or whatever that you have to It's like maybe you write down your insecurity and people who threaten that insecurity and why like or something they did this got me angry? Well why did it get you angry? What is it threaten about yourself? And then you start doing it with a lot and you see, like, holy shit, this is threatening my pride or this is it's like and you find this similar thing, I've done it before. When I'm like, give me that piece of paper because I need to do that.

00:18:55
Speaker 1: It's not it's I mean, the alcoholic mind is very different than anybody is mind. Right, But the steps, like the things that we work on, you could be anybody working on them. Yeah, yeah, you know, it's it's for me. My program is like church. It hits every aspect of what I need in my life to be fulfilled, on top of giving me strength to not drink again. And I don't want to drink again. I don't want to.

00:19:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't have that fun yeah you know.

00:19:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I get a little loose and then I wake up the next morning with a freaking hangover and the Sunday's scaries. I don't want the Sunday s It's not worth it. No, Yes, and my skin has never looked better since. That's true. Tough, it's gone. The glazed eyes.

00:19:43
Speaker 2: You're glowing constantly, thank you. No, but yeah, that's I dig it. Yeah, I'm want my pink cloud, right, But like you said, do I'm confident in my sobriety, but I'm working on other things. And I think it's awesome, right, I are working on all the other things.

00:19:58
Speaker 1: Yes, use yourself.

00:20:00
Speaker 2: That's a big thing though to you, for you to be like, I don't think I'm ready for sex.

00:20:04
Speaker 1: No, I'm definitely not. Yeah, once I get my tig Old Biddies done, maybe a different story.

00:20:10
Speaker 2: I give it a few weeks after that, and I'm going to go.

00:20:13
Speaker 1: Just kidding you, guys. We have two amazing guests today, Aj and Emial Power couple. Incredible. They do a ton of work with the LGBTQ plus community. I'm inspired by them. They'll be coming up after the break. Before we cut to the break, I want to remind you I'm going on motherfucking tour. The first spot i'll be in is Irvine, California. But that one you can't come to because it's sold out. I'm so excited to see everyone who does have a ticket. Then we're hitting Fort Lauderdale, Clearwater, Orlando, Atlanta, Nashville which spoil alert Shena and Brock will be joining me in Nashville time. Oh my god, it's gonna be that I have with them, is it? I can't tell you, guys, but if you're near Nashville. I'm trying to see you. Then we're going to New Orleans, Houston, Austin, and Dallas. By the way, we have Jackson Brittany for the Florida dates. That'll be li af what that's so exciting. Oh my god, I know they're locked in, so to buy tickets, just go to give them Live dot com and make sure you stay till the end of the podcast because I'm answering your voicemails. I love y'all and we will be right back. Hello, my loves, We are back, and I have really amazing guests today. We have AJ Gibson and Emil Ennis Junior. You guys look so fabulous. I cannot like I'm like mortified showing up looking like a hot mess. Look at you both.

00:21:52
Speaker 3: No, you're adorable. We love you and we're appreciative. So thank you for having us. We're excited to be here.

00:21:57
Speaker 1: Of course, I'm honored, and you know I've obviously I'm a huge fan of both of you. I think you guys kill it. And then I was, you know, reading into all of your accomplishments and you know, you guys have an amazing podcast Confess the Mess, which I dig the name. First of all, I want to know how the two of you came to be.

00:22:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, gosh, we actually it's interesting. It's kind of a full circle moment. Yeah, we came to be hosting a podcast together ten years ago, but.

00:22:24
Speaker 4: It was a it was video so it was it was video focused at this after show network called after Us and they did after shows for all these different shows, and then it also went to a podcast fore, but it was way before a podcasts were or are what they are now.

00:22:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, and the first time we met was actually on camera. Yeah, so we've actually he made a YouTube video out of it a couple of years time, and it took tok and we got a lot of mileage out of it. But yeah, so we have like the moment we met each other for the very first time on cameras. It's kind of cool. We were hosting the after show for America's Got Talent, which is the weirdest thing in the world that did not even after show. But we were friends for like the first five months and then eventually this randomly started dating and we're getting married now this summer or so. It's been a wild, wild ride.

00:23:09
Speaker 1: I mean, congratulations, that is thank you amazing. And you know, I always wonder, like how how it is to work with your partner, Like, obviously you guys are a force as a couple, but you're a force individually as well. How does that dynamic work? How do you balance you know, your gigs on top of doing podcasts, hosting, and then like shutting it down when you guys are like, hey, now here we are as a couple.

00:23:40
Speaker 4: Oh wait, we're supposed to shut down.

00:23:42
Speaker 3: Are supposed to shut it down?

00:23:44
Speaker 4: No? Yeah, I think I think for us, And that's kind of what the whole premise of our podcast, Confessor Mess is, Like, it's people submitting their secrets and their confessions. And years ago, it actually started with just the two of us and we sat based face and naked on the bed together. Yeah, and we kind of confessed our deepest desires, our fears, things that we thought we would be judged for.

00:24:09
Speaker 3: Person back in our relationship. Yeah, because I'm about nine years older than he is, and I'm I'm actually the first person he's ever gone on a date with. And yeah, and we're getting married and we've been to get together almost ten years now.

00:24:22
Speaker 4: And when we met, I was in the closet so my father's a pastor, he's retired now, and the mom's Jamaica. So there was a lot of layers to it, but like we confess those things to each other and when we talk about like how we work together, because a lot of people want to know, like, oh, how do you guys work together? And like shut it down and do all these things. And I think for us, we're each other's biggest fans. I know that sounds corny and geez what we really are. And we're both hosts, like we we aren't like hosts we're trying to be actors or hosts. We're trying to be models or something else.

00:24:48
Speaker 3: We're I think we also respect each other's career, yeah, careers and talent. Like we literally he's done things I've never done. I've done things he's never done.

00:24:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we kind of bring up and there's no jealousy. There's no jealousy.

00:24:58
Speaker 3: There's some moments in moments I think I struggle with it a little bit more than he does sometimes, you know, just it's not it. I don't know if it's jealousy. It's it's almost like, you know, I see him get an opportunity, I'm excited for him. I'm so proud of him, and I don't want his opportunity. I don't want to take something from him. But then I have that thought in the back of my mind that I think is pretty common. But then I'm kind of like, when's my next turn? Because you know this industry, it's like you're always waiting for the next opportunity. Every time you work a job, you're you're on the top of the mountain. You feel like you're like like like ruling the world, and then then what the next thing?

00:25:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's someone always sitting in the pocket ready to take your place always, right.

00:25:41
Speaker 4: Yeah, you constantly feel like you're replaceable. I don't think I get jealous on my end just because.

00:25:46
Speaker 3: Or you're a better human, healthyware.

00:25:50
Speaker 4: But I think for me and I think this is why we work too, is when he does have those moments. I'm very much in the mentality of what's for you as for you, And so anytime we get an opportunity or don't get an opportunity, it really is, yeah, you might not have gotten this, or I might have gotten this, or you might have gotten this, but that just means it wasn't meant for me or it wasn't meant for you.

00:26:10
Speaker 3: And we've also just been through so much. I remember there was a time I had a national talk show on Hollywood to Stay Alive on Fox years ago, and while I was hosting a national daily talk show, he was also working on stuff and he was doing a red carpet or something, and he usually would hire a camera operator or a camera and a sound person.

00:26:26
Speaker 4: I would hire no when I was broke. I would have my best friend, but you didn't get any money, no.

00:26:35
Speaker 3: Here, And one time it fell through, and so I went and I was his camera and a sound operator on a red carpet and its so many people we ran into We're like, wait, a j what are you doing? Like why do you have a headset on? And why are you like holding a camera tripod? Because he needed me to And that morning, I'm hosting a national talk show, and that evening I'm on a red carpet in Westwood helping him out. But then also on the flip side, I'll be hosting you know, red carp for like the Golden Globes, and I'm like, hey, Eil mel, I need a picture of Lady Gaga. And he comes and takes a picture of lady like there was a epic photo. By the way, It's like five seconds to get that shot. It was so very super crisp and clear.

00:27:13
Speaker 1: Like he does a talent in itself.

00:27:14
Speaker 3: He does my social media for me on all these big red carpets I do and I interviewed the biggest celebrities in the world, and he's right there by my side posting on Instagram for me. So like, I think that we don't have too much ego. Ego doesn't get in the way right there to help each other.

00:27:27
Speaker 1: No, it doesn't seem that way. And it seems like also, you guys have have done something that many people try to do, which is take their career and their relationship and blend it into one and make it freaking work and be successful. Because that that is not easy. It usually is a demise in people's relationships when they start blending the two. You guys have done. You've conquered the impossible, is what you're telling me. And I think it's the ego that you put aside, right, I mean, help me.

00:28:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, part of it. I think when you look at like reality shows, I know you're in the reality space and like we look reality shows. Sometimes when a relationship goes on reality show, you're like, oh God, it's not gonna last, especially marriages and things. But I think for us one, we're very particular. Like on our podcast, we reveal a lot, like we have no filter probably, but we still know like their secrets and things that we have revealed. But there's so much that people don't know about us, but people relate to us because we are telling more than a lot of people tell. We're also still we have our private things we keep with each other, and I think the reason why it works is because we do have this and maybe it's because we posted together and been around each other for so long that we have this uh rapport with each other and this trust.

00:28:42
Speaker 3: With each other and understanding, right yeah, and what's just for us? Yeah, which makes me think that we're low key kind of like wild because the stuff that we do tell on our podcast is kind of insane. So I'm like, we're keeping secrets that people don't know about and they will never know about. And I think that we didn't seek it out. We we were together for almost eight years before we work together on camera.

00:29:04
Speaker 1: Wow, So how long have you been together in total then nine and a half almost.

00:29:08
Speaker 3: Ten years now.

00:29:09
Speaker 4: Yeah, we met in the first time we met oi camera was May twenty twelve, and then we started dating in September of twenty twelve after I came out.

00:29:16
Speaker 3: And so I think our thing was so many of his, his followers or fans or supporters and mine separately, would see us pop up on each other's social media and they were always like, I want to see more of you guys together.

00:29:30
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:29:30
Speaker 3: And then he had a YouTube channel for a while and it still does, but that it was just pretty solo. And then he put up a video of us together. I think it was like a boyfriend challenge or a muckbong or like one of those like couples videos. We never we have never none. We talked about it, we did it the boyfriend question, the boyfriend boyfriend tag, and it did really well and we're like, huh. And then we put a couple of pictures up on Instagram like it did really well. And then I remember a few years ago we walked the red carpet at the Billboard Music Awards together.

00:30:01
Speaker 1: God, you guys are so fabulous. I keep telling me I.

00:30:05
Speaker 3: Was hosting the red carpet for Dick Clark and they produced a show and I'd done it for many years, and I said, I'm going to have Emil walk the carpet with me this year. I've never done it, and he at the time just put in perspective, like he says, he hosted like major red carpets all the time, so he's walked the carpet, he's been photographed.

00:30:22
Speaker 4: By getting all these things for me. I was hosting for Entertainment News Channel, but I was also still a server at a restaurant, and so I was kind of like, ah, I was scared. So while he was prepping and getting ready for the show, I went to because Billboard Musical Words at the time was still in Vegas. Yeah, I went to the FedEx Kinko's and whatever hotel we were staying at. I think it was like New York, New York, and I went and printed out my name on little strips, so just in case photographers didn't know who I was. I was like prepared to hate it to them because I was like, you know who he is, I don't know who I am.

00:30:50
Speaker 3: So yeah, and then I picked out I got him in a really like sexy black like suit with like a mesh like tank top underneath. So I was like, you're hot, let's show it off. And we walked out there. He was so nervous, and I remember walking out there and I'm wearing like this like dope like linen like suit, and I was working with Erica Jane. We're coasting that together with a couple other people, and I said, grab my hand and when I when I wake at you, lean in and give me a kiss, because I'm like, this is what the pop rozi, the press, They're going to love this, right, So he does, he gives me a kiss. That picture went everywhere. It was featured in so many different outlets. And the next year Billboard Music Awards were doing their promos for like the New Show, and their whole theme for the promo is love is in the Air, and it shows like couples from past Billboard Music Awards and it was Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton, John Legend and Chrissy Teakan and a meal at me.

00:31:40
Speaker 1: You've made it, I know, and we're like.

00:31:43
Speaker 3: Wait, what, Like that's that's wild. Yeah, So that was sort of our like because that's a queer person if you kind of come out a lot, especially if you're in like a certain industry, like you come out over and over and over again. And we've kind of feel like that was like another coming out for us, and from that point forward, like let's just do stuff together, not being afraid and just go yeah.

00:32:04
Speaker 1: Well, okay, So, aj, when when did you come out?

00:32:08
Speaker 3: I've been out. Gosh, I've been out for twenty two years almost.

00:32:12
Speaker 1: You're from like a little town right, Ohio.

00:32:15
Speaker 3: Down Ohio?

00:32:16
Speaker 1: Okay, yep, Ohio. So were you living in la when when you came out or no?

00:32:22
Speaker 3: I No, I was still in college. So I was a sophomore at the University of Toledo at the time. I had gone there actually to run track, got sort of overwhelmed by it all, and I ended up playing volleyball in college for two years. And my sophomore year I actually came out at the college. And this is so funny. Do you know Jonathan Bennett. I'm sure you do. Yes, Jonathan Bennett, the actor. So yeah, mean girls, And yeah, he's getting married to our friend James next month.

00:32:46
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:32:46
Speaker 3: So Jonathan and I were friends in high school.

00:32:48
Speaker 2: Wow.

00:32:49
Speaker 3: And Jonathan, Yeah, Jonathan actually was good friends with my cousin Betsy. Betsy it's a very Ohio name, and we were hanging out at her graduation party. She's a year Olderly he's like, oh, your cousin AJ is gay, by the way, and she's like, no, he's not, and he's like, yeah, he is. And I was like and he clocked me totally. And he ended up being one of my very first friends ever. And so he and his group of friends sort of took me under their wing and we became friends. When I was, you know, a high school going into college. I was about nineteen twenty years old when I actually really came out, and so, yeah, so I came out, then dropped out of college for a couple of years because I really just was struggling with it and my family wasn't really that cool with it, and I kind of went into a pretty deep depression for a little bit, but ended up getting back into college, transferred to Ohio State, graduated from there, and then as soon as I did that, I moved to New York for a year. Then I moved out here fifteen years ago.

00:33:40
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, and I know when I asked these questions, I feel like it's such a and I'm not minimizing it in my mind because I grew up in Utah and most people don't know this. We have one of the largest gay pride parades per capitat. It is in Salt Lake, which was like a very moment for me, you know, coming from Utah. And so when people ask these questions, I'm like, I feel like it's so dated to still be talking about this being a thing. And then I feel like we still have to have the conversation because you're talking about your family struggled with it. I've had friends and their families struggle with it. Emil, you're from a family, your father's a pastor. Your mother, I believe you said, is Jamaican and aj was you know the first that was that your first love, your only love, and it was when you came out, Like what was that like it?

00:34:32
Speaker 4: And you know another before and before he kind of or I don't know if it was you might have we might have done the boyfriend tag. And then after we did the boyfriend tag on my channel, people were kind of asking for the coming out story and so I did, like the video explain my coming out story, and I think for me, it was definitely difficult because I just have a super religious family, and I was terrified and I was honestly prepared to just live in the closet for my whole life because there's just so many layers of feeling like you're going to hell, feeling like you're being just like was the family going to think? Like all these different things. And the network that we met on, I actually wanted to work behind the scenes, and they put me in front of the camera as a host, but I was repaired again to not even though I love being in front of the camera, I love entertaining. I was prepared to just kind of live in the shadows because I was so afraid of presenting myself, Like if you watch some of the earlier videos for the first few years.

00:35:24
Speaker 3: So awkward.

00:35:25
Speaker 4: I was constantly thinking about, Okay, what am I doing with my hands? Like if I'm talking, like I want to make sure I'm talking the straight way, and like looking at It's just so many different things that are going through your head.

00:35:34
Speaker 1: I've seen throwbacks of you versus like how you are yeah today, and there is a huge difference.

00:35:40
Speaker 4: It's wild. Like I was so I was so afraid to be who I actually am and just whenever you live in this space of inauthenticity, I think one people can read that and then once you truly just because regardless of I think, I don't think coming out is dated. And I only say that because there's so many people who are not living in la or a.

00:36:01
Speaker 1: Big stiene what I mean.

00:36:03
Speaker 4: They still need to hear these stories. They need to hear how we navigated this, because it's so easy to say, oh, we come such a long way, when there's still kids who are struggling with this and who need to have somebody who look up to or hear a story to say, oh, maybe if I take this router, I see how A mill did it or how aj did it.

00:36:20
Speaker 3: This gives me hope because for every like it's great to see shows like Euphoria and Saved by the Belt. The way they handled Josie Toto's story as a transgender woman as an actress is really beautiful and it seems like they just kind of like, I love it. It's great that like this younger generation will be like the kind of like brush past it and it is one of this. It doesn't need to be a big thing. But the reality is, you know, I host a national talk show, a queer talk show every single morning on Channel Q called The Morning Bee. Right, and we're the first and only LGBTQ plus talk radio station in the entire country in twenty twenty two, we're the only ones still and I'm very proud of that. But I mean, right now, in Florida, you know, Governor DeSantis and this Republican allieser are pushing that don't Say Gay bill, making it illegal to say the word gay in schools in the entire state of Florida. And because of that, also, Tennessee just just brought forth legislation this week, and other states across the country now doing the exact same thing. They're trying to make it illegal to say the word gay in any context. They talk about your gay uncle, your gay aunts, your gay dad, like your gay friend. They're trying to make it illegal to even say the word in school. And we're talking kay through twelve. So it might seem like we've come so far, and we have in some ways, but that, by no means doesn't mean that like the coming out story, it's different now maybe for some people, but where I come from, it's just as hard to come out today. As it probably was when I came out twenty years ago, and that's problematic.

00:37:50
Speaker 1: You both put that so beautifully, and that's exactly like like you said, not everyone's living in Los Angeles, where you know, we're out here, we're being exactly who we are. We forget that the little dynamics that we have, the friend groups, the family where we come from. It's still a huge thing. And so when I say it seems dated, I know that it's not, but it should be.

00:38:16
Speaker 3: Oh I wish it were right. I know we can have and if we could have big pride parades in very Mormon Salt Lake City, we could we could start doing more all over the country.

00:38:26
Speaker 1: So yeah, well, I think that your talk show that's amazing. I mean, it's crazy that it's twenty twenty two and it's the only one in the country. And you know, I am definitely excited for people to hear this podcast because I mean, look at the platform that you guys are on and what you're doing, and then you're such an ally to the LGBTQ plus community. I mean, you're really doing it all and looking fabulous wile while you're I wish my listeners could see you guys right now, not see me, but see you guys. I mean every straight woman. I'm sure when you guys walk into a place, they're like, damn it.

00:39:08
Speaker 4: What's funny? Becaus we sold. My best friend Drew also, her birthday is coming up, having birthday. Whenever I hang out with her, because granted I both of us, we are kind of masculine presenting for the most part, and so people don't necessarily look at us sometimes don't necessarily look at us all the time and say, oh, I can just see it. They're gay. And so when I'm hanging out with her, especially if I'm in like a muscle tank or whatever and we're hanging out. I was at her apartment helping her film this audition the other day, and I was in my tank topping some shorts and there's this guy in her building. Hope, I don't think she'll care what I'm telling you. There's this guy in her building that she has a crush on. So she literally sees him and she knocks in the window and says hi, and then she's like, oh shit, you're with me, flame out, flame out. So I know whenever she says that, I'm like, yes, I just do something so like they know that I'm gay because she's had guys before. They see me with her and they think that we're a couple.

00:40:02
Speaker 3: Right, Every gay man, every gay man in America who is a little bit who's maybe not totally like feminine presenting right now, could relate to that. Yeah, Like, listen, honey, I can be as gay as the day as long.

00:40:12
Speaker 4: We have a wig drawer, we have feather BoA's Hills.

00:40:15
Speaker 3: Absolutely we do, and we love everything of it. But day in day out, like we are just who we are, right and we don't have a ton of super feminine qualities naturally, So sometimes we have to kind of help our friends.

00:40:28
Speaker 4: Out and.

00:40:31
Speaker 1: Way, yeah, don't be a cog blog for the friend, like do something to let them know we are not together. So I have to go back to what you said. You said that you guys, and I relate to this because even though I'm on reality TV, you know, you guys are hosts and when people watch you, they they almost expect for you to share every single part about your life. And there's been times on vander Pump where I'm like, I have a therapy session, and you know, the cameras want to be there and they're like, but this is your real life, And I say, in real life, I don't invite anyone to my therapy sessions, so get the fuck out.

00:41:01
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:41:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I love that you You still keep that those moments to yourselves. But you said you were sitting on the bed naked talking to each other. I'm newly single. I'm trying to bag me a boo. Do I need to sit on a bed naked and tell him my deepest, darkest secrets to bag a good man?

00:41:19
Speaker 4: Not yet?

00:41:21
Speaker 1: How long?

00:41:22
Speaker 4: Yeah, it depends, so I would. I would have.

00:41:24
Speaker 3: That's not a date one.

00:41:25
Speaker 4: Yeah, we we did that like year five or six. Nothing, I have to wait that long because we we do like for the people our friends who are in relationships, we do kind of advise into our listeners. We tell them that it's a beautiful thing to do because it was scary. We were built things to each other. We never like said publicly what we were build, but we both re built things to each other that we were so terrified to reveal to each other. Obviously, when it came to desires and fantasies, like you talk about the things that you want sexually, you're in life and it's like, oh, that's hot.

00:41:57
Speaker 3: Certain, yeah, sure.

00:41:59
Speaker 4: But then when you get to like things that maybe you've done in the past you never told your partner, then it's kind of it's a vulnerable position. But I think what made it beautiful is it was hard to hear some of those things on both sides. But after a few days, when you sit with that, it's like, if you were willing to bear your soul and trust me with this information and I also received that from you, and we're literally laying everything out on the table, it just creates this bonding and this.

00:42:28
Speaker 3: Yeah you've got there's got to be mutual trust of.

00:42:31
Speaker 4: Yeah, it could go go you go south.

00:42:34
Speaker 3: You can go two ways. If one person is ready to open up and be vulnerable and reveal like maybe, hey, maybe I messed up earlier in the relationship, or maybe I did something that isn't really like in the highest version of myself, and maybe I disrespected you or a relationship in some way, shape or form. And if one person is willing to admit that and to say that, and the other person's not willing to receive it or allow space for forgiveness, you're doomed.

00:42:57
Speaker 5: Wow.

00:42:57
Speaker 3: So and and and it's not that there was like cheat, you know, all that kind of stuff going on in a relationship, but there was there was like very like borderline stuff happening. And I messed up early on in a relationship a little bit, to be honest, and and it was cheating, and it was in my mind it was sort of justified at the time because we were still kind of going through some stuff and I wasn't really sure if it was a forever situation for me.

00:43:17
Speaker 4: Like full of transparency. I didn't know this, but at the time when that situation occurred, he was pretty much getting ready to break.

00:43:23
Speaker 3: Up with you.

00:43:24
Speaker 4: Yeah, And so I can see how in his mind he might not have seased like I'm about to leave this guy anyway. He didn't know is I'm a millionaire junior and I was prepared to fight for events. Yeah. I had a little tricks when I realized he was checking out, But.

00:43:37
Speaker 3: I didn't know. We lived together briefly at the beginning of our relationship, and part of the thing was like I broke up. We broke up for like what eight hours was yeah, and then in my mind, I'm like, okay, well, I'm checked out. I'm done at this relationship and it's just a matter of time before he's actually officially all the way moved.

00:43:51
Speaker 4: Out, which that was too. So we moved in together after maybe nine months of dating. And we moved in together at the time back in twenty thirteen, for financially, we were both broke.

00:44:00
Speaker 1: He was a bar so I was gonna say nine months is quick.

00:44:02
Speaker 4: Yeah. It was like one of those situations where he was a bartender and doing the hosting dream. I was working for a production company and doing the hosting dream, but neither like I was making like one hundred dollars a day after tax nothing, So we were just broke and we were like, oh, you know, you're over here all the time, so.

00:44:18
Speaker 3: Why don't you move reason to ever move in?

00:44:20
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no no. I will say this to couples if you are in a relationship, you guys just started dating, It doesn't matter if you're over at your partner's place every single day, you visiting them and stay in their space, versus you actually moving in completely changes that you never.

00:44:34
Speaker 3: Brush and a clean pair of underwear. That's fine, but don't move in the right absolutely absolutely right.

00:44:39
Speaker 4: And there was a roommate too. It was just a lot of la to it.

00:44:42
Speaker 1: Chaos, that is chaos. Okay, So you got engaged when did you get engaged?

00:44:50
Speaker 4: Christmas of twenty twenty?

00:44:52
Speaker 1: Okay? And did you have plans to get married? Did the pandemic mess up the wedding plans at all? Or did you always want? I mean, you guys have been together a long time.

00:45:00
Speaker 3: Kind of honestly, like, what's the rush? Right?

00:45:03
Speaker 4: So that's a common law married by now, well, I don't know.

00:45:07
Speaker 1: Does that always does that exist in California? I don't know.

00:45:11
Speaker 3: I don't know what that really is, but I will say that listen, Yeah, it's been a long time, but you alsotart to think that we have not legally been able to get married only for like the last five or six years. So the first few years of our relationship, marriage was never on our radar because it wasn't legal. So it's not like maybe maybe you grew up having an idea or your girlfriends grew up having an idea of like marriage someday. Right, you have this picture, the wedding dress, the big thing whatever. We didn't have that because we never thought that was going to be a possibility. Right. So so then all of a sudden a few years ago, we get we get the option. I had planned actually to propose a bunch of different ways, because he let me know for a long time that he went in something big and like over the top.

00:45:54
Speaker 4: Is how like not like a flash dance models, Like we gotta be a flash model.

00:46:00
Speaker 3: So I thought I had to do something really really cool, and I'm like, Okay, well, he wants to make content out of this, so this has to be a YouTube video, So what can I do? And I had, I had, I talked to my friends at Dick Clark. We thought about maybe doing it on the Billboard Music Awards Red carpet that spring a couple of years back in twenty nine. You're twenty twenty, I think twenty twenty one, and we thought about doing that, and then that got canceled. And then I was talking to my team over at Wendy Williams and she was going to help me propose to him live on the air, on like a Valentine's Day episode or something. And then also I'm friends with Genie May and I've worked with her in the past, and I've also worked with Garcel and Lannie and he's on the reel. He's been there for a couple three years now, and so then I thought, okay, maybe I can reach out a genie and we can do like maybe a proposal on the reel, like all these cool ideas that I was running through my head, right, and then the pandemic happens, and then I'm like, oh, so I just kind of waited, waited, waited, and I was like, okay, well, this is only going to be like two weeks, like everybody thought it was gonna be two weeks when I started, right, And so then two weeks goes by, and then two months go by, then six months go by it and I'm like okay, and all of a sudden, the whole year's gone by. I'm like, I haven't proposed this whole time. Why, Like what am I waiting for him? Waiting for the pandemic to be over. It could be over in another day, or it could be ten more years. We didn't know.

00:47:15
Speaker 4: Hey, we could still be in it now.

00:47:16
Speaker 3: This is like pre vaccine, pre everything, right, And so finally I decided to do it on Christmas morning and involve our parents, both sides, and so we had we had a zoom setup so we could record it, and then I.

00:47:31
Speaker 4: Had we were supposed to COVID ruin that we were supposed to spend the holidays with our family, were supposed to go to my family for Thanksgiving, his family for Christmas, and so at the time I didn't really think anything of it because we were already planning on doing that zoom since we weren't able to spend holidays with them. But it turned out that he was proposing it was really sweet.

00:47:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we didn't.

00:47:50
Speaker 4: Yeah, we didn't. We didn't. As far as like actual wedding planning goes, I don't think that our wedding planning hasn't like COVID hasn't really ruined that it's tried multiple times stressful though, because we're doing a destination wedding and so we have a lot of people who are traveling and when you see, oh, now there's this new variant and it's spiking Andy, We're like, oh God. So it's like there's this anxiety that bubbles up because we're trying to move forward. We're trying to just move forward and just trust everything's in the workout, but also like the COVID of it all Yeah.

00:48:21
Speaker 3: Also asking our family to you. I had that. My dad is seventy years old and got a passport for the first time in his life. Wow, the Mexico for our wedding. So to ask people to go to a foreign country, uh, during a pandemic into like drug cartel land. I mean.

00:48:39
Speaker 4: It says literally, we have family members who have never been to Mexico. Some of them never trial out of the country, and because they're in their small communities and they don't travel, they only see what they see on TV. And sometimes they're looking at the headlines all negative. And so I've had to we both had to tell some family members. Okay, so you're saying that there's a shooting or drug cartel in Mexico. Okay, look down the street in Atlanta. Yeah, literally where I'm from, like or look at LA, Like any community you're in, you can find that if you're looking for.

00:49:06
Speaker 3: Literally, we're a friend of ours was like mugged recently in LA in Beverly Hills.

00:49:11
Speaker 1: So wait, you guys, you and your families need a show, and it should be based on getting them to Mexico for the wedding.

00:49:20
Speaker 3: I would watch God's Ears.

00:49:22
Speaker 4: I would watch that and we have. We've been pretty open on social media about the struggles of dealing with family members who aren't as supportive as we thought. So and I don't know, I don't care talking about this publicly. I I've said to them, I haven't talked to some of those members, but to anytime I'm on television, on a hosting, on a show, or they see me on TV, Oh my god, a mil We're so proud of you, like paragraphs, oh this is my nephew, or we go visit and they make me dinner and they love me. But then when it comes to the wedding stuff, all of a sudden, we're getting like the client rvps, and then we're finding out from other family members the reason why they're not supportive, and I'm like, so, I think that really messes with my brain and it makes it feel as if if I wasn't on TV, if I wasn't in the career that I'm in, would you still support me or be excited to have me as your nephew or do you only still tolerate me because I'm that famous And I'm not even famous, but that's how they view when I go out because your fiance is on Wendy William watch it.

00:50:21
Speaker 3: So it's tricky to kind of realize what family members actually think of us. And it doesn't mean they don't love us, but it also hurts like your love doesn't trump, like your beliefs. You can't support my own sister, my own full blooded sister is not coming to the wedding because she just can't get there. She just has new faith that she's come into in recent years and and all of a sudden she believes God, you know, did not make me this way, and she can't support it. And so that's that's been devastating. But we've tried really hard to not take it as personally as humanly possible, even though that's not possible, but to try to focus on all of the people who are willing to fly before country.

00:51:02
Speaker 5: Of them.

00:51:03
Speaker 4: Want people who are supportive of us there, because those are people when you're going through any rocky moments in your marriage, you want people who were there who know the foundation and are there to support you through those times, and not people who are just there pretending like they are right.

00:51:17
Speaker 1: And it would it would ruin the entire celebration having someone there that really didn't support the love. It's it's like I wish you wouldn't have come, And yeah, I have so much respect for you both, and I'm so happy for you, and and just the the uphill climb that it seems like, you know, being in Hollywood doing what you do for a living on top of you know, dealing with a wedding that family members are not supportive of. It's something that a lot of us can't fathom. But you know, I'm happy to have you on the podcast to like have people feel less alone. And before I let you guys go, that wedding's going to be fabulous, I want to like.

00:51:55
Speaker 3: Commend you though for saying that though, because as an ally, that's a really beautiful thing to say, because just that acknowledgment of I can't even fathom, like those words coming from an ally who's maybe not a queer person to say that a couple like us who's kind of in this like vulnerable sort of emotional state means a lot, not just to us, but your listeners who might be you know, cleer and maybe wherever they are on their own journey, words like that go a long way. So I just want to say thank you, for that.

00:52:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, I appreciate you saying that I do whatever I possibly can, but I will never pretend like I can understand because I can't. I'm a white woman who identifies as a straight person. I don't have adversity in many ways that others do. So thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable on this podcast. And I think the one thing that I would like you both to share before I let you sign off and you don't have to look at me anymore. You know, these these young kids are you know, maybe someone older who who feels so inspired to come out and just be who they are in these small places. They see you, but then they realize where they really are stuck. What is your advice to them? Because you've both come from from backgrounds like that, and look at where you are now, I think people would appreciate hearing your advice.

00:53:16
Speaker 3: I would say that you're not as alone as you think. There are other queer people in your community, and as safely and as comfortably as you can as you navigate those early those early days, find them trying to try to find a way to find them, because it's so important that whatever it is that makes you you in life and That could be your sexuality, it could be your desires, it could be your creativity. Whatever it is, whatever your outlet ther thing is, you need to get it out of you. And I believe that we're put on this planet to share whatever that gift is, right, and you can't share it if you're hiding it inside of you. So find one person, and that person will lead you to another person and lead you to another person. And that one person, oftentimes is maybe a girlfriend at a school or an aunt or like that one person who's a little more kind and a little more compassionate, a little more empathetic. And if they're that way about other things, chances are they might be that way about you too, And that can open you up to like a whole different world, because I get it, Like small towns are scary and they're not always the most accepting, the most loving of anybody who's different, but also also they can surprise you, Like my small town is pretty like messed up in some ways, but in some ways there are people there that are really incredible and really wonderful and loving and they just want an opportunity to love on you. So give them the opportunity, but do it on a timeline in a way that feels safe and authentic to you.

00:54:51
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's beautiful. And I think for me and I can only come from the experience of if I were to talk to my younger, So I think the biggest thing I would say is you can't focus on other people's opinions of you. I know, for me, when I was in the closet, I was so focused on do they know I'm gay? Like constantly thinking about all these different things. And when you focus so much on what other people think and you aren't truly being who you are, and even if it is like scary, and I'm not saying if if you aren't in a place that you feel safe being exclusively expressive of your sexuality, I completely get that safety comes first. But I was hiding in so many ways where I felt like I had to create a version of myself that it's just it's hard for me to look back at that person, knowing the hurt and the pain that I was dealing with every single day. And so I would just I would just kind of similar to AJ in terms of if you can find that outlet or you can find that person. For me, it was TV shows. So it was watching like will like all of me. It was the Grassy also like watching the Grassy and scene I think it was. It was Marco. Marco was like the gay character. Like if you can find some type of way to relate or now, I mean we're older, but now you can get on YouTube, we're snapchat whatever and see queer people who may be in an area that you're not from, but you can see how they express themselves and what they deal with. Then you hear their stories.

00:56:29
Speaker 3: Social media is really yeah, not always for the best, but it has changed the game and.

00:56:33
Speaker 4: All find the way. I I don't necessarily like saying it gets better because life is hard so many ways, but just know that if you truly focus on being the authentic person and following that path, that you can find joy. It may not be easy every single day, but you can find joy.

00:56:52
Speaker 3: And also, if nothing else, just listen to the Confessor mess podcast because it's queer as Fun and we have a lot of really fantastic guests on there, and you'll feel represented. You do like, you'll feel like you'll feel like your life is nearly as message you thought.

00:57:04
Speaker 1: Yeah right, I love that. Oh my gosh, y'all give me chills. I'm like Beyon Honor to have you on the give Them La La podcast. And where can people find you?

00:57:12
Speaker 4: Guys, you can find me, I think everywhere at a Millionaire Junior maybe on TikTok at a million is Junior thirty one because I can't get my name for some reason. And then the podcast is at confessor mess podcast on Instagram and at Confessed podcast on Twitter.

00:57:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think just this is such a douchey thing, but just google me, like AJ Gibson. Now go to aj gibsontv dot com if my website. You can find everything there. I also I'm an author. I wrote a book called Flipping the Script. You can buy a copy there. And there's also I'm a public speaker. I do a lot of other side things, but a true story. I can't get AJ Gibson on Instagram, so it's underscore AJ Gibson. Because there's a mother in I think North Dakota whose daughter does vallet, who has the name AJ Gibson. Her name is not Aju, and I've tried to buy it from her many times. She will not sell it to me. So I'm under or Aja Gibson on Instagram.

00:58:01
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I so relate to not being able to get your name. It's the most annoying thing. You guys are amazing. I hope that you enjoy the rest of your day and thank you so much.

00:58:11
Speaker 3: Thank you loves.

00:58:16
Speaker 1: Before I let you guys go, I want to do a voicemail, but I also want to remind you that I'm going on tour. I know a lot of you are like, you're not a comedian, you're not a performer. What does this tour entail? Well, it entails you having the best night of your fucking life. I promise you that I'm going to give you all the feels between us getting to know each other, playing games, feeling inspired. You want me to call somebody, put them on speed dial, because I'm about to call them for you. We have a lot of different segments. It's going to be amazing. We are starting off in Irvine, California, but you can't come to that because I'm soldad motherfuckers. Then we're going to Fort Lauderdale, Clearwater, Orlando, Atlanta, Nashville, New Orleans, Houston, Austin, and Dallas. You can find all of these dates and cities on my Instagram page at Lala Kent Jess. Can you play a voicemail for me? Yes? I can.

00:59:12
Speaker 5: Hey, Lala, this is Christina from West Palm Beach. I just wanted to Colin tell you how much I love you and how much you guys got me through the quarantine. You and my boyfriend Vanner Pumps is what we've binge watched during the quarantine and is is just what helped us got to get it through. It's, I guess our question for you that we always wonder is what is your family's reactions to things that they see on Vandard Pumps? Again? Love you, Thank you so much for everything and for always being you and giving us Lala Love you.

00:59:54
Speaker 1: Christina. First of all, I developed an obsession with Vanner Bumples during Quarantine as well.

01:00:00
Speaker 4: Well.

01:00:00
Speaker 1: I had never seen any episode or any season before I entered season four because I'm just that vain. I'm like, if I'm not on it, what's there to watch? Just kidding, really, I'm not. I started from season one and I was like, this is the most amazing show and I am honored, yeah to be a part of it. Yeah, you know. I was like, these are the OG's and they deserve so much credit because this is the best television I've ever watched, So we have die in common, Christina. My family doesn't watch the show. They don't know. My family doesn't watch the show. And I don't even think it's because they don't want to see me in certain situations, because they know me. I'm the same person on television that I am, you know, behind a little more sensitive.

01:00:44
Speaker 2: Behind closed doors.

01:00:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you would get to if you took my interactions with my family and you edit it down, you would probably see the same thing that you see on Vanner Pumpin right right, But like there's no need for them to watch it. In their minds, they're like not interesting, right Yeah. Yeah, I try to get them too. I mean, my mom hasn't read my book. I don't know that I want her to read my book, but she knows everything, you know, every blow job I've ever given, every time I've popped off or clap back on someone.

01:01:14
Speaker 2: Yeah, as you guys learned from last week's episode, they're a very open family.

01:01:17
Speaker 1: Yes, clearly we have to mention at all, so they don't they don't watch, And I tell my mom about things that happen, and I'm sure if she watched it on TV, she may have a different reaction, like everyone seeing me yeah ah, or everyone read that in your book?

01:01:34
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, you know when you were first on the show. Did they watch it?

01:01:39
Speaker 1: And then? Oh? Nothing? No? Wow, nothing, that's cool. Like I had to call my dad to fill them in on me cussing too much because I got too drunk on watch Wabbits Live my first time. Oh he was like, first of all, what is this show you're talking about? Why are you in New York? What's happening? That's good though, Yeah, I just I don't think they were interested, and like, I just don't think. Oh it's Monday or whatever night we air. Now I gotta tune in to my kid on vander Pump Rules, Like my mom would much rather be watching twenty twenty and Easton watches his sports and my dad was like into watching CSI.

01:02:18
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I like that though, Oh, because you're right, they already know you, so why watch? And then you never have to worry about like ooh, maybe that scene wasn't great, but my family's not gonna see it, so who cares.

01:02:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't care if they did see it. Yeah, but it's nice because then when I call my family, like a lot of my cast members like, oh my mom or my sister whoever is obsessing over this last episode. And I'm like, my mom just called me to tell me that, like there's drama at her work and like they're really trying to get this dog adopted.

01:02:48
Speaker 2: I love Lisa, you know.

01:02:50
Speaker 1: So that's that, Jess. Do you want to play me another voicemail before we wrap it up? Yes?

01:02:55
Speaker 5: I do?

01:02:56
Speaker 1: Can we wrap it up? Do you remember? Wait? What is that? Season four? And Katie mall or No Christ and Doni and Stossy's speech at the fucking engagement party of Katie's and I'm like, can we wrap it up? I would if someone did that to me at my engagement party, serious, I would claw your eyes out. Oh my god, god, they're so classy.

01:03:17
Speaker 2: Can we wrap it up?

01:03:19
Speaker 3: Love?

01:03:19
Speaker 1: And I go, what the fuck are you talking about?

01:03:21
Speaker 6: It icon't And then they flashed me with my drunk shit sue looking hair and I'm like.

01:03:32
Speaker 1: Anyway, next voicemail, next voicemail.

01:03:41
Speaker 7: Hey, longline, Jess, my name is Haley from Iowa. I just wanted to say I listened to your book on Audible and I loved it. I want to say thank you for being so unapologetically yourself. It's refreshing for reality TV. My question is, if you were a housewife, what would be your tagline? Thank you so much for your time, have a good day.

01:04:00
Speaker 1: Oh hey, Haley, I'm in a mood today. Is there any way that I could just like, you know how they always like do a little flip around, couldn't I just like flip around and be like, give them La La Enough.

01:04:15
Speaker 2: Fucking said, Enough fucking said, yeah, they can bleep that part out. Enough said, yeah, Well that'd be good.

01:04:23
Speaker 1: That'd be good.

01:04:23
Speaker 2: Which housewife's franchise would you want to be on? Salt Lake?

01:04:26
Speaker 3: Right?

01:04:26
Speaker 1: Obviously, yeah, it take whatever I think to be honest, But where do you want to move me? Where do I fit in? Salt Lake? Would be a good one though, right, because a lot of times I see them arguing and I'm like, Lala needs to come shut this shit down. Yeah, Lala needs to come spill mad knowledge. They have Heather Gay whose like voice of reason always and she makes all the sense in the world, and I could watch her twenty four to seven, And same with Whitney they're called bad Weather. You wouldn't know that guy when you don't watch bad Weather. They're such a vibe. But they need la la with them.

01:05:00
Speaker 2: Okay with with those Yes, Yes, let's function up. I like that.

01:05:04
Speaker 1: Yep, giving them all a run for their money.

01:05:07
Speaker 2: That give them Lala, Let's funck shit up.

01:05:11
Speaker 1: That's so funny. Give them Laala, Let's funck shit up. That's my tagline. Good. No, next week, I'm gonna have an epic tagline and I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you guys what it would be. I gotta think on it.

01:05:21
Speaker 4: Though.

01:05:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, some of them are great. In others I'm like, yeah, not so great. You should have told producers Wrongo, it didn't happen. All right, you guys, I love you so much. I hope that I see you on the Give Them Laala brand New Tour. You guys are fucking awesome for tuning in, and I hope that you enjoyed this episode and I will talk to you next week.